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S - ’**' * *w*Hs»sr.
‘ToLuM
The tiroable is, none of ow young
wrtaen an willing to become poor men's
wins, J| >l^, pg-j Wi*~Tp- hhiy
may bo so in realityTThe girl whh
mamea upon 81,000 tyiwr
to a life spent ta -■■■, rggg
bouses, trots **m ■
out a gtej
MU’ uTrsmipf ~,j.'ff*S
winch are not thoreS
n <>a» £ms,
. Sfftn- WMrriif iltl rjft
to
eat*,
not- S3K»
wha t-r to ■ m*ka g Mtq -'
sortable, if
band. In this
British jcrirl has an immense advantage
over the American.
to the lowest
|o make good end '
useful wires, inasmuqhaa ladies preside
ovytilte.dgmi l T" l^i, «flLlh < ‘ tr houuihold
aiW 4*Uit edti4ttM?Nn tfevt bleary
Migf-jW f
the jower cjaeaee mother* reach their
daughters to do the same for themse! vr» 1
witboatwnffehng any loss ot dignity in ]
ths . doing, o! ft Many of our
Ajnmncau girls will be surprised
to-3ea£n that the Princess Louies
makes her pastry —and,
mahes it wall, iou On one occasion,
tarts of her making being
pranwvl by sgdpabAiiANQral lady ijrofr
out the’raßjw. wiftr fihfe teteiisfltider-
yon desire to hswn swmri
tqjt property cooked, ai —> j- ..
never w | '» h*w to du. a Milng fckKdl,,
2?
Imbis* uj-6n*whtcfi is dekdtMcted.
equllify it the peenUar
Afhencails fa
W]g*r* every person thinks h's br aba ik
as (o<4 as the next, tners is arrays the
opposite proof of incompetency. A
person is neitbe Jtettgr fiofWorsq. that
another exceptfta^he.fegU-' «**»<
But the dispositions it jaang werehn
df'tfte present • day (and the same may
be said largely of young men, though
j-eV traps rfof to the same extentl is to
t&& lliey are as good as any one else,
the trouble to be ao.
Fw>M b belief arises many
*4 Jb« ,gjUa frQtn .which society aufferi.
—Xuapston Freeman.
John Bright is a charming companion.
Seldom does a political opponent come
into his company without being
fascinated by the man, though he may
dislike the politician. An English ee
enyist tells a story which illustrates Mr
Bright’s power as a companion.
One of the great orator's recreations is
billiards. At a sea-side hotel, he onov
strolled into the public billiard-room..
Finding there a stranger, the two played"
several games, neither knowing who the
Oriiai
The stranger happened to be a fierce
a manufacturer from Yorkshire,
who hated John Bright and his Libera!
politics pqjud MataDpity-
While the game was going on, the
Tory’s wife learned Jhat her husband
was in company with the famous Libera,
orator. Alarmed, since she hpd bean)
him speak bitterly against Mr. Bright,
she anxiously asked!
" Are they fighting T"
An hour or two after the husband re
r tinned to his room, rubbing his hands,
and in the best of humor. He had had
such a good time st billiards with a
most pleasing stranger, and they were to
play again on the morrow.
"Why,” exclaimed the lady, ‘‘it is
John Bright you have been playing
With 1 ” . • T
The Tory was sobered for a moment
by the news, . 3ut, recovering himself,
he remarked that ‘‘those newspaper!
al wags did lie about people.” And, to
the sdloniahment ot his wife, ha au
notcMsd that, under oartaan mroum
he himself might vote for Joh* I
Bright
The story is a good owe, and may
serve to remind us of what we need to
have frequently recalled, that eveW a po
htacal opponent may be a good man and
tsoderfoot when he arrived at Dead
—ted "Shoot htm>’’ "No. "Knife
hi»F7 "lio." “Qab him to deathr
“T*«t
bow did you ever kill a man ’ ‘‘ Drove
a butcher s «n 1"
owmijjoßit r rtiwt
nur ww ns—
■
owsvrnw war warn—*■» , IZ- ,
1 4*1»»». awnw traAs,
'' ‘tetftatJßs - -., r'l •
Vo tougvr a helpteaa b*by,
kJI day,
m JV tUßVßi '(Vf'sbft rvu • ttitev,
|tM.r *
w mw meathfrlk h iu*..‘_
I wen dry hnw ba is <!aar«r
t on my br»a.t ?
h thu rofuhli t«Uow
. . Who*! tsstsn oww»>»y»V J .
I, * rmrbwt u>y tbs sweeter
Bet ore "£■ s TnW-»r»w» eeiet P "W
Ah • the ,e ttXl Thta dHh the bebr
ru M
T/fE
The King of Spain placed sb embargo
ipon all Engiiah vseeels, persons and
property in the jxirtk of Spain. Drake
wnt out to sea with six armed ships,
1 aid captured Sftii tJofljingb; Orrthagens
uid Ht Angustiae. Philip 11. was now
wuparing the greatest aniisment that
he combined nttvwc of Sprau and Port
igal, of Nnples ifid Sfeftyrof Genoa and
'bWrt<r> > »dirtt'*wWl scr--s the seas to
archtoiroHcdfEngJami Beane
the ,
Md,becii ih
il«vy**t tSMl4>friW Mthe xnoet
.nJ pnwrioua unto all estates :* and 11
W ASXihkivAed Ihirft&Knd <wm U
>d rt>s'Ah)r*t df thh gtfeat tnaritimo tm
{rprikft." Yet England did not quasi.
‘ ThK dHole dbmmnrijty heiwme Os one
WPfMfcl criM. '«■ "ZCU-tHAjasstw
deternaiued to dptd a blow at the
heart of the Spanish propt’t Tie sailed
■haute ofrJjondon. AMhe beginning qf
April, 158T,’ the English fleet entefdd ttw>
sHi+xir el Otulir and fi ll upon tb«> Span
all sbipe destined for the invasioa of
England. Some of tliom were nt the
argest size then known. Ona wan of
I, JOO tons, afipther of 1,800, and several
ithers of 1,000 and 800 tofia. Drdkc fla
Iwu conteutip For two niglits and a
« l*y hr* PPfttiflWcil work—scuttling,
rifling, unloading and burning ffio Bpan
ah war ships. Before he left 150 ships
were burning and throwing a bright
nlaze upon the walla and forts of (iediz.
On his return to England, Drake capt
ured and destroyed 100 more vessels, ap
propriating a part of the cargoes and
taking th(j cre-y flß>—eqa. <d«o
'aptunxl a larg, laden
■nth x
rt>u»4o' aldh Ak to —glaud.
Be confessed that he had done but little,
the Government warning as to
the enormous power and vast prepara
uaus of Suain.
"There wOifld," ha said, "be 40,000
men . nude; Weigh ere long, well
■quipped and provisioned,”and England
•ould not be too energetic in its meas
ures of resistance.
was done by Philip to
make his Armada invincible. He had
ypent nearly 50,000 ducats on ths fleet
The Pope lent htftrt.OOO ducats. Be
udewhat he had spent, he had 2,000,-
000 of ducats in reserve. The Armada
consisted of 136 ships. They were by
far the largest that hail up to that time
been constructed. They contained 80,-
XX) Spanish infantry and Badon, and
1,000 galley slaves for the purpose of
-owing the ships when the wind failed.
Beside this largo army, 30,000 troops
■ were in the Spanish Netherlands, ready
to embhrk, on a given signal, in aid of
the troops of the Armada. Bwfli was
the force which the English ssalora had
t<> combat. q f
Behr* the Arrasds sailed, the I’ope,
Sextus V., fulmmpted his bull. He de
oounoed Elizabeth as an illegitimate and
usurper, and solemnly conferred her
kfngAim w«h W-M *
fender of the Christian faith. to
have and to hold as tributary and feud-
102V.3H1
Everything was now prepared for the
1 subjugation of England, and the invpi
■ able Armada set sail The flrat ships
1 were sighted ntf the Lixaad co th* 22d of
July. 15M. They had long been looked
>ifw Tbs MwsctMlsee bh—< fc*b to*
> the fjizard to Falmouth, Dodman Point,
Unpbm WUn
voted
HAKCH *4
the
a garni of bowls with k» comrades; but 1
a»yii ■■> *H
■,W Mr
met
English floA, went tigfitiag ah—ffin
coast of Di'vAt i
on land Wnth WfcgaJU■fafKl
tion. At every little port that they
passed—at Dartmouth, Teignmouth,
Lyme, and Weymouth— came out
laden with men and provisions, and lit-'
tie ships darted out to sea, most of them
merchantmen, to take part in the fray.
when the wind shifted to the northeast,
and gave the Hpaniarda the weathergage.
The English aiade a tack seaward, and
were soon' after assaulted bwthe fk»n
lurda, aUu Imre down upou worn. Bmp'
after .ship was engaged, but the Span
iards were never able to close with or to
txwvd' tl>eirsen.r«ttadkiDg r erves-flying
adversaries. And ao the roar of cannon
ascended along the coast One fight
aftof aitotlg-r,.but still nathing liesgaure.
Tin AAmul |>saa4d;«ia'Di«y<4,’Wight
on its way to the roads of Calais. The
English, having received n®B apdjpifi
nitions from shore, folhpredtl
Ixird Howard, commander of the En
glish fleet, called the , commanders to a
consultatioM. It was tlien determined*
io attai-k the Armada. It was dead at
uiglit The sea was black, the thunder
m >’ , U q ? m<WHi
six l-Jazing fire ships were aentlfi amonjt 1
the Armada. The Bpani&rda were |
seized with a panic. There was a yell I
throughout the flwt Ever>blifcwm |
cut, and the ahijis liegan to drift The I
larger ships Ix-oame entangled with I
eauii other, i, buiiiH *«n> burned by the«
flaming vessi bi. The and most
splendid vessel of the Armada, ths
Capitana, was driven ashore, and taken
possession of by the French. When
mon ittg Iflp<ift>d. et thg
fleet lay disabled, but the greater niun
lier had pih togea, end wees observed
making for the*N< tlierland jxwfls
<he> qgWjl i
fltati *niCy rfliire tip Wists the Rpkmsh
fleet off Grmqiyim, andpujmediaU'ly
attacked them. They broke through
the vanguard, and attacked the
fiagsMp*.’ They riddled them ’throng),
and through, tore their sails and rigging
T^TKFRIX" "KhffTrflnv? ttfffffi tfIRT
the main body. Four of their ships ran
foul of each other. The English contin
ued the battle for tux hours, always re
fusing the attempts of the Spaniards to
lay themselves alongside. Three of the
Spanish ships went down before tlie
flgM MSB over, and many otto n* were
iMning, helpless wreiffts, toward the
fatal sandbanks of Holland. Hiiti-cn of
the best Hjianiali ships had already l>een
sacrificed,’ and from four to five thous
and soldiers had been destroyed; yet not
an English ship liad been lost, and not
more than a hundred Englishmen had
been killed.
Tbs wind was m-w blowing hard, and
driving the sliipe on a lee shore, seeing
which, Medina Bidonia, the Captain
General of tlie Spanish fleet, gave the
order Tlie In vincible Arma
da then bore away towaad the north
west, into the open sea. The crippled
ships went doarn one after another.
They were scattered far and wide Home
were wreckci on the rock-girdled coast
of Norway, In frying to rmu-h die
Western ocean, many of the Bpaniah
ships were wrecked on the Hbetland and
Orkney islands, or on the rocks in the
dangerous tides of th* Htronaraand Pent
land firth*. The shores of Scotland
aod Ireland were found strewn with
wrecks. Few of the Spaniards were
left to tell th* story ; only the masses of
drifting wood found in heap* upon the
beeeh told of the veeeeda destroyed.
Philip never repeated his enterprise of
" th* Armada -Samuel SmiUe ’
| I IW **
nor
Fitznoodle was out again worrying the
jjfe out of the ducks vnth his shot
H* htaaßt mmy st aom<.d«4*.
unseen man ou the opposite aide of the
pond rnee up threetenFigly, with a long
“ Did you shoot at me ? "
"Did any of the shot hit you?" in
quired Fitznoodle.
“Yee, they did," eaid the man, rub
bing his Jags.
may be oertaan I didn't
shoot at you. I never hit anything I
shoot
**•
Km> e* a UMUL4JW XHD AtdXX
’Vlt among *o atadanto «• me
arau.asi. ai gxu . IML- JtoW>‘l
|to«t tti ■in
Kb* » lL<
Imß
Roland and Diana were lovers. Diana
mF 4 tilitmigal but O" uaaly, hypochond-
VtoMl bet not lugubtidtia, didactic but
not dishonest, nor given to ribald or
truculent grimaces. Her pedal extremi
(tien were perhaps a trifle too largo for a
playing organ pedals suoceaafully, but
her heart was not at all adamantine, and
her address was peremptory without lie
jng dtffw. On' the whole she might
become ibe fnumorstaof one retired
to some quiet vicinage away from tlio
squalor and clangor, the dissonance and
contumely, of a great metropolis.
X BilamA on the other hand, was of a
aatumine countenance, at once splenetic
and combative in disjKMitiou, ao that
his wasaails and orguw were almost mani
acal in their details. He was a telegra
pher by profession, having received a
diploma from Cams College, but ag
grandised his stipend by dabbling in
philology, orthoepy and zoology during
his leißipv hours, so that he was accused
of Atiidtisli and tergiversation by his
l«trefia. -
Still liis acumen and prescience were
such that only a misogynist would dis
ku that ho was an aspirant for the gal
lows. Ilia acetic, rather than ascetic,
I nature apparently inclined him to visit
l oahuqueal laboratory, well fllled with
ipparatus, to which lie had aocees,
| whence he often returned with globules
luf loihno and albumen on his carMkohouo
shoes, which subjected him' to the risk
I of numerous altercations with his land
lady, a virago and pytlioneas in one, and
with the servant her, acceasury ar ally.
Roland hail, however, become aneli
matod to his place, received everything
with equability, reclined upon the divan
while he contemplated the eJywium where
Diana dwelt, and addressed donative
disticha to her in the subsidence of the
Itiillerj, v
There was a certain diocesan who en
4efto»nd to dto}K9MMs B>4aud in the
affections of Diana, brfthe wu enervated
by hrotuiliiUs, biryugitmaud diphtheria,
which on their suleiidenoe left his carotid
artery in an ap]>arently lethargic con
dition. Ht* had sent Diana a ring Mt
with onyx, a chalcedonic variety of stone,
and once hung a placard where he knew
she would see it from her casement, but
site steadily rejected bis overtures, and
ogled him as if he were a dromedary.
The diocesan betook himself to al*olut
ory prayers, but continued his digres
sions and inquiries.
Roland became cognizant of his amour
and armed with a withe inveigled him
into a kind of assignation beneath a jas
mine, where ha Biveighed against this
** Gay Lothario,” who defended himself
witii a falchion until Roland disarmed
him, houghing ins palfrey withal. After
the joust the-prebendary abjectly apolo
gized, albeit in a scarcely respirable con
dition, then hastened to the pharmacatio'a
aerie for copaiba, morphine and quinine,
and was not seen again until the next
Michaelmas.
oil) qxxi aud rovna HAN.
K good story is told of a Chicago
young man who called upon a voting
lady tor the flrat time on Huuday even
ing. After an hour or two ot j.leasant
oonversMtion on vartons subjects, the
“manoftfie house” entered the room
wltere the young people were sitting.
He was introduced to ths young man,
and, after a few remarks upon the
weather, etc., left the room and retired
for the night Nine o’clock camo, and
the bailer, sayiog “Good night,” left for
bis home. The next morning, on peasing
the house, the young man had occasion
U> mth tRe young lady, and, when
sbAif to tvwnthe his down-town journey,
met the " man of the bones" coming in
the gate "Well, young man, you hold
on pretty long," said the old gentleman,
and the poor yoaag mac, without stop
ping to explain, went on bi* way, pu>-
«r» .* whether to eommll suicide or to gn
a-fishing
I Lil -h ' r "
*.' Tax rolling snowball gathers no
'u Torn said when his hard hand
fal ot eold Muff whixzed by his uncle’s
«or aad buret mto a lli.raaaud bite
agamot the aria of the house " Yes,
Mid bis unde, m he hit Tom in the
bark with a rbxl of enow as big as b»
bead, ‘land J fe«l called upon to teach
the youhg ul*e ho* to auevt
“By th* tune I had done breaktoat,”
O«>. Waahmgton wrote, "and thence
till dinner, end afterward till bed-time,
I could not got rid of the oaremeny of
one viaUor before I had to attend io an
other. In a word, I had no leisure to
read or to answer the dispatches that
were pouring in upon ma from all quar
tern."
Unfortunately, the three gentlemen
who stood nearest the President st thia
tune ware all disposed to carry the eti
quette of the President s house to an ex
treme that seemsd to the people to savor
of royalty.
Vics President Adams—just home
from the British court —thought the
President should be defended against
intruders by a system of chamberlains—
masters-of-ceremony and aides-da-oamp.
Gul. Hamilton, who was an enthusiast
for mciarnhy, and Gen. Knox, a soldier
—both members of the President's Cabi
net—ware inclined to go as far in that
ilirectiou m they oortM without shocking
the people.
Tlie oonsequanoe was, that, while the
I‘residant was protected from ths in
trusion of incessant callers and marcileM
hand-ahakinga, some appearances of
monarchical stiquettii were admitted.
Tlie people of that dqy hated mon
archy and despised its forms. They
feared above all things a lapse of our
Government into monarchy. They had
had, during the revolutionary period of
ivvetiteen veara—counting from the
Stamp act of 1765—a bitter experience
of the practical workings ot mitoarchy.
They wasted ao ipore of it.
Hence, when Mr. Jefferson, on Ooto
ing to the Presidency in 1801, swej*
away every usage that had in it tlie
smallest reee.Biblanoe to the etiquette of
royalty, he keenly (ratified the mtma
of the people.
Nor ho suffer much inoonveniemvi
frouxii ; tor the ciiy of Washington • was
then a muraaa with a meager number of
housM ; eonttonmg .vary few inhaHiante
imconneotod with the Govemmont,
Members of Oongreaa, indeed, ate the
ITieident out of house aud home ; but
even Hamilton thought that members of
Gougreas ought to have acoeas to the
President
Times have changed. Washington i*
a city of 100,000 inhabitants ; and thou
sands of vialtera can get there in a few
hours if they wish to do so. Homethiug
might to be done to keep a President
from lieing mercilessly destroyed by an
overwhelming torrent ot vuutora and
cruel hand-shaken.
The repuUic has outgrown its child
hood. The people UV ready to sanction
any new code of etiquaUa that beam
upon it the stamp of justice aud sound
sense. They regard the President as
tlie servant of the whole people—6o.-
(MM),000 in nnmb«u—and not merely
of those win* bappsn to And thaa.selves
in the city of Washington.
If they could give '.xpresMon to then ■
view of th# msttei..we are.aure a ma [
jonty of them would suggest at least
two niliw of conduct fcr the incoming
President:
L ttee a few or ao applicants far
aCtee.
X Hliske hands with no man.—
Koti/A'r
ArTKR THK MATTLK.
“ The liaby Ims got a now tooth, but
the old lady >• '*ld np with a mid in her
head, ami Johnny is down with the
measles,” remarked a Gahvetim gentle,
nunlos < Wes ted candidate, "What
1» Uie thunder do I care?*' was tlie re
ply of the defeated candidate, scowling
furiously. " Well," said the gentleman
slowly, "before the election you uwd
to take me aside every time yon met me
a«4 »k W» bow asy farmiy *us cowung
r< »• T 1101 IgM pBU Wo. iid bhu to ty *W.
AJrl-frlß aaylnt. Johwoy ia *>i«mi
qm with th* »ism|m, and th«
’ TOn b> Halifax T' roortd tha oxMper
ited ri-o«.ndidate, producing >a, police
, p|nsUc i aU of which goes to show that
the defeated candidate I* qntt<' as
independent a* the one who is elected.
—(itdirtlon Note*.
rm Fo<r o<r*anova.
We do not hesitate to give it as our
theological opinion, founded on much
stndy and wide observation, that ms of
the flrat questions that Ht Peter will
ask a man who presents himself a*
heaven's gate will be, " Did you put
sand, or ashes, or aawdnat ot> the aide
walk in front of your prana less tn slip
pery weather, like a good Christian ? ”
aud that the man who cannot answer
that question satisfactorily will (nd it
harder to nsss through the pearly gate
th a a for a camel to go through the eye
at a aeedto. Prwiiw Jfumai.
TERMS-$lOO PER Anunm
NUMBER 14.
Tim beet stuff fat alippeee Aihaa
Tax Mettled rum la faaiuonabU in cold
weather.
Posaixa around the hat ri cue way of
getting the dents of the meeting.
Iv in a fixed fact that there to a great
future for everybody who sen live lang
enough to see it
"I would like to die to-night, "peuaa
poet—tar once ooming into sympathy
with the people.
Whxx Jay Gould sees a railroad that
suite him, he buys it, pickles it, sad puts
it away to akin ai his leisure.
Tkb difference between a well-shod
mother and her corrected oflbpring to,
that she to kfd-alippmwd, and ha to a
slippered itid.
•'ls tmat mule tame? “asked a farm
er of an American dealer in domeatto
quadrupeds. "‘He’s tame enough in
front," answered the dealer.
Wx see an article in the papers about
boy inventora. We hope they will in
vent a boy who won’t whistle an hh Ito
gers and yell on the streets at night.
"Now I e!tt>aim srrb,"remarked Old
enberg with a aigh, after ratal/ 'trjlufc,
to get a view Os the stage over the bon
net in front of him ; “ now I understand
what they mean by the 'height of fash
ion."'
" Paps, they don't have any stone m
Ireland ; do they ? " asked a little boy
the other day. " Tn, my boy ; but why
do you ask such a question ? " Becan**
I thought it wm all sham rock ©vet
there."
A PABSioxADig young lady wee seen
blacking her brother’s boots, and the
next day she helped do the family wish
ing. It is thought she is fitting herself
to liecome the wife of an Italian Count.
—Puck.
Gnanca seems dalormmed tp . fight
Turkey st any coot. Bhe went to war
with Turkey five years ago, and had ons
man killed ami two died of sickness, but
experience haa not taught bar anything
—JWrvil JVw J¥«*.
Thxoixjkx PAnxek's rale for married
hajiptoeas was that the wife and hu»
band should overlook each other’s faults
This, however, would not work in Utah,
where a =uw’s ahertaomfoga increeM
with every new wife.
X»> ksd a pair ci taaft,
Tb*y Mlokad bar oiter hair.
And tnry alibi balora aha Mpl
ata bans thaei n a rMIr.
Ste vara ter baara io rahool on* ter,
Wblah mate hu cteaenalaa Sara,
Awe hiite want rvusd Hu! Marr a fe
■ad vorted ateUarsean.
Tlte Mad cf tan pradaaae a Vate-
Tha tract* unk It vp;
Sba lechad tb» baa<a within bar <aah—
Oh I tall war Marr • cup-
Omb evnning, st a Paris case, a group
of idlers were discussing polities, ami
people who change their opinions
•■Well," salt! one, " Uve never aried.
‘Long live anybody.'" “Quite so,”
remarked ano ; “ but then you're a doc
tor.”
“ What did Cain say when the Lord
asked him where his brother Abel was?”
asked a Hnnday-school teacher of his
clsm. None of the children spoke up,
but finally Utile Jimmy snapped hu
fingers anil said: “ I forgot a hat
('sin Mud.bnt he sassed the Lord back."
U.S!. -1... ■*"•- j
jtargdcrxD
Mr. Maguire, of a Kansas town, was
elected constable, and the local paper
which opposed him said: "Mr. Maguire
will wash himself More ho aaeumes tin*
ulltaa of constable." Tbo notice mad
dened Maguire, and h<* Mllod on the
editor to complain. "Ton object tothat
statement T' aaked the editor. "I do,”
replied Maguire. ‘‘ Vary well. Hl re
traet it,” said th* editor, and then be
put in his paper that be wished to re
traet his announcement that Mr. Ms
I mire would wash hiinaeH before aaantn
ing office, m Mr. Maguire deuwsl the
statement; aa>l sven that retraction
didn’t satisfy Magmre. but instead in
-nan i his wrelh. borne men are hard
| to satisfy.
It m a eomawhai-remarkabie fact th*
City al Milan, Italy, publtohas a great*’
number of newspapers than Beaton, al
moati identically the aame number as
Philadelphia, very nearly as many as
Chtaago, and fully seven times aa many
aa Brooklyn. And ye* the population
of Milan does not, at mo* (gored 275,
000, which is conssdersHyNM than that
of Boston, only about <xao-hsll that of
• Ofoago, toss than son-half that of
Brooklyn, and lass than one-half that
■ which the census of 1880 shows Phils
I dalphte to eontoto
No rar*B in Italy Kaa' a mrmueuou ot
yore than 10,000 copies,
