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ABSURD ADVERTISEMENTS.
the eternal unmerciful vengeance of God,
and the people think that these teachers
must be remarkably kind to use such con
stant endeavors to deliver them from the
hands of such an enemy as God is! Be
ing deceived they cannot reason. If they
could reflect, and calmly reason on the
subject, they would see at once that if
these teachers were in reality so much
better than God, as their preaching repre
sents, God would not have sent them. If
God were an enemy to His creatures, in
room of sending such loving creatures as
these foxes pretend to be, He would send
His messengers of vengeance and cut
them off at once. When the deceit has
succeeded, and the people believe in the
false doctrines which are inculcated, have
they any peace? Have they any rest?
Do they enjoy quietude? No, they have
no peace, no rest, day nor night. What
is the matter? The fact is, the creed in
which they are taught to believe is full of
cruelty, and teaches them that they are
every moment in danger of worse conse
quences than can be represented by any
similitude in nature.
We are informed that the fox will cun
ningly feign himself to be dead, will
stretch himself out in a lifeless posture,
by which deceit he induces the fowls to
light on or near him, when in a sudden
and nimble manner lie snatches and de
vours them. So false teachers cunningly
feign themselves to be dead to the world,
to have no desire for earthly riches, honor
or power, by which deceit the)’ draw the
people.into their very jaws, and between
their sharp cutting teeth. Of all classes
of the community none have a greater
thirst for riches, honor and power than
these false teachers. They are continually
laying plans and contriving schemes to
get power into their hands, and at the
same time pretend to be dead to the world.
This is acting the fox faithfully.
in delineating, illustrating and defend
ing their creeds, false teachers resemble
the cunning of the fox of the wilderness
in several respects'.
Where this artful animal burrows in
the ground, he takes care to have several
outlets, so that if he be attacked at one of
them, while his adversary is looking out
for him at that place, he makes bis escape
at another, and is gone long before his
adversary knows it. Thus do false teach
ers ; they endeavor to hide themselves in
as great obscurity as possible, but if in
quiry and argument pursue and find them
out, they have taken care that they have
more ways than one for an escape. If
they were attacked on the principle of the
works of the creature as matter of justifi
cation to eternal life, and if the argument
is likely to bring them out to the light,
they make their escape through the well-
studied avenue of partial sovereign grace
and particular election. If, on the other
hand,they are questioned in a skillful man
ner on the doctrine of partial election,
and what they call sovereign grace, and
if they find no way to defend this scheme,
all at once tlley tack short about and are
pleading in a most tender and affectionate
manner for the free offers of salvation to
all, and laying it down in the most solemn
manner, that all are invited to come in
welcome to the gospel feast. Thus the
fox is gone.
[Concluded in our next.]
4 « » » »
—A man may learn infidelity from
books and men, but never from nature.
“I would like this advertisement trans
lated into French/ said an American in
Paris, handing to a clerk in the American
Register office the following curious ad
vertisement Twenty francs reward will
be paid for the recovery of a cameo brooch
which represents Venus and Adonis lost
on the Boulevard des Italiens about ten
o’clock last evening.” But the literary
productions of advertisers who have axes
to grind, and who pay liberally for the
privilege of occupying space, have before
now proved very interesing bits of read
ing in the columnsofa well edited paper.
H. H. Brown A Co. of no 1 Center
street kept standing tor several days in a
leading New York Daily, “Soldiers who
have lost their discharges, and who did
not receive pensions from the date of-their
discharge or' death, please apply.” In
the “wants” department of a country ex
change a resident advertises for a woman
to wash, iron and milk one or two cows
a wine merchant asks for bids for “ sixty
dozen of prime port, lately the property
of a gentleman forty years of age, full in
body, and with a high boquet.” A livery
stable offers cheap a mail phaeton, the
property of a gentleman with a movable
head as good as new,” and “a splendid
grey horse, calculated for a charger, or
would carry a lady with a switch tail and
warranted kind.” It is easier for some
people to determine what they want than
to aks for it. Words arfebugbears to them
and language takes terrible shapes. “To
be sold—an erard piano, the property of
a lady about to travel in a walnut case
with carved legs,” was humorously com
mented upon by the Saturday Review a
few months ago. The Irish World copies
an item, “ Purse lost by a poor widow
woman who has a sick child containing
13s and a letter.” No wonder the child
was unwell. The next item in the col
umn is the World’s own, and is as follows:
Robert Taylor, eighty-eight years is the
father of twenty-five children by three
-wives seventeen of whom are living.”
Robert should be tried for bigamy. The
Chicago Tribune not long since copied
the advertisement of a widow 7 who inten
ded to succeed her hvsband in the man
agement of a hotel: “The hotel will be
kept by the widow of the former land
lord, Mr. Brown, who died last summer
on a new and improved plan. She will
be aided by other stockholders.” Such
a corporation would not deserve to have
a soul. A coroner’s verdict reads thus:
“The deceaed came to his death by ex
cessive drinking, producing apoplexy in
the minds of the jury.” A country paper
says, “ A child was run over by a wagon
three years old, and, cross-eyed with pan-
tlets on.”
—Cunning signifies especially a habit
or gif 7 of overreaching accompanied with
enjoyment and a sense of superiority.
It is associated with a small and dull
conceit and with an absolute want of
sympathy and affeefion. It is the inten-
sest rendering of vulgarity, abso.ute ut
ter.—Iiuskin.
THE CONCEITED BOY.
Lawrenee Green was a .very proud and
conceited boy. and his uncle TlTomas
thought it woura be well on that account
to humble him a little !So one day he
spoke to him, and asked him to take a-
walk. Before they had walked an hour,
they saw a bird, u fish, a squirrel, a rab
bit, a spider,, and a goose
“ Can you fly like a bird ?” asked Un
cle Thomas.
“No,” replied Lawrence.
“Can you swim like a fish?”
“No, tlncle.”
“Can you climb a tree like a squirrel ?”
“ No, I cannot.”
“Can you run lfke a rabbit? ’
“No, Uncle, you know I cannot.”
“ Well, then, can you spin like a spi
der ?”
“ I cannot,” said Lawrence, not a little
mortified that he had to say no to so
many questions.
“ What can you do then ?” inquired liis
uncle, “ can you hiss like a goose ?
“ Yes, I can,” quickly replied the boy,
his face kirdling with smiles as he an
swered.
“ Then,” replied his uncle, “ if you can
neither fly like a bird, swim like a fish,
climb like a squirrel, run like a rabbit,
nor spin like a spider, and do nothing
better than hiss like a goose, I would
advise you to be more humble hereafter ;
for it appears that the bird, the fish, the
squirrel, the rabbit and the spider, are
in some things much more talented than
you are.”
Lawrence Green profited by the les
sons of that walk, and was not so con
ceited afterwards.
ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN.
Never use a lady’s name in an improp
er place, or at an impioper time, or in
mixed company.- Never make assertions
about her that you think are untrue, al
lusions that you ft el she herself would
blush to hear. When you meet with
men who do not scruple to make use of
woman’s name in a reckless aud unprin
cipled manner shun them, for they are
the verv worst members of the commun
ity—men lost to every sense of honor,
every feeling of humanity. M any a good'
and w( rthy woman’s character has been
forever ruined and her heart broken by
a lie, concocted by some villain, and re
peated where it should not have been,
and inffhe presence of those whose judg
ment could not deter them from circula
ting the foul report. A slander is soon
propagated, and the smallest thing de
rogatory to a woman’s character will lly
on the wings of the wind and magnify
as it circulates, until its monstrous
weight. crushes the poor unconscious
victim. Respect the women, for your
mother and sisters are women, and as
you would have their fair name untar
nished and their life unembittered by
the slanderer’s biting tongue, heed the ill
that your own words may bring upon the
mother, the sister, or the wife of some
fellow-man.