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MERCER CLUSTER
MARCH 7. IMS
V
lZdti&uaU
The Search For, And Shooting Of Sciuridae
Editor's Note: This
pleasantly naughty arti
cle by David Sibley is
reprinted by reeptest
from the Feb. IS, 1968
Cluster.
In the present age of
prolific authors it is quite
unusual to find any sub
ject or activity, of even the
minuteset interest, that lias
esca|xxl mass elalioration
in printed form. One need
search no further than
the closest magazine nuk
to discover thorough and
enlightening dissertations
ranging from “the sexual
education of the pre adoles
cent Sarcodina” to "should
suicide be subject to capi
tal punishment." It would
seem, in fact, that the
more esoteric the informa
tion the more material
produced concerning it.
Vet on occasion, some
activity is accidently passed
over. Whether it is Ixcause
other writers assume the
subject must have been'
covered already, or because
the subject appeals to too
great a majority, 1 do not
know. Hie fart remains
that despite tile phenome
nal increase in the si/c of
the "Reader's Guide to
Periodical Literature" over
the past few years, there
are several topics which
arc not included.
It is to just such a topic
that I intend to address
myself in this article.
Search as 1 would, nowhere
could 1 discover informa
tion- concerning the sh< tot
ing of Sciuridae. 1 scoured
every hunting manual and
every gun magazine. I
poured over every piece of
literature connected in any
way with the S.I’.C.A. I
talked to biologists, natur
alists, forest rangers, and
game wardens. Still I c ould
find nothing Then, in
the course of my inquiries,
1 finally discovered an ex
pert on the subject. Ironic
ally he appeared on the
spot where I had liegun
my quest, the library. Al
though he was actively
engaged in the sport in
question, 1 was able to
extract from hint many
pertinent facts which I will
now relate.
It appears that the shoot
ing of the Sciundae is not
a new sport. Not by a long
shot. In fact, according to
my preoccupied informant,
it has been dated as far
back as the rise of Egypt.
On the walls of the tomb
of the pharoah Oseeialeg-
gis, archaeologists discov
ered several pictures de
picting the aged pharoah
engaged in the s|x»rt. Its
[M>pularity rose and fell
through the ages until a
re-emphasis was placed on
it in the early 1950's. In
1962 its |x>[Hilaritv tree ante
so widespread that it lx-
came necessary to set up
hunting seasons for the
Sciuridae. It may lx 1 noted
here that the law govern
ing the shexuing of Sciuri
dae has been flagrantly
disregarded, especially by
our youth. Perhaps this
appalling situation is an
other by-product of the
new morality. There is a
bill in the House presently
demanding stricter enforce
ment of the law and it
should be passed, barring
interference by the A.F L.
(Aberrant Funseekers
League) lobby, within the
next few years. (For a
more thorough discussion
of this bill see Hen Dover's
"The Squirrelly Law,"
Acron Press, 1967.)
There are several feasi
ble reasons lor the sudden
come-back of Sciuridae
shooting. It will be remem-
lx*red that early in 1952 an
extensive campaign was
carried on by the world
renowned Anti-vivisection-
ist League (for a history of
the movement see Doan
Hurtuin’s “The Hunter-
Tragic Pervert”. Pet Press,
1957) against the merciless
slaughter of helpless ani
mals. The brunt of the
attack fell on the hunter.
As a result the majority of
small game hunters search
ed for a sport which would
provide tracking and slroot-
ing but did not involve
the actual killing of the
prey. Sciuridae shooting fit
the description perfectly
and it soon became the
leading sport of its kind.
Another reason for the
sudden rise of the sjxjrt
was the advent of the Cold
War. Since time immemori
al, men whose passions
were incensed by war, were
able to relceve these ag
gressions in the course of
combat. Wholesale murder
was acceptable under these
conditions. The Cold War
posed a problem.
Although man’s passions
were excited, there was no
battlefield on which to re
lieve them. Society would
limply not condone mur
der, even in view of the
unnatural situation. When
it was learned that a cer
tain sport yielded the
exhilerating thrill of shoot
ing without the complica
tion of committing mur
der, vast numbers of con
verts were quickly won
over. Of course the Viet
Nam war is now expected
to diminish the signifi
cance of this cause. Still
another reason that might
lx- considered is the cur
rent trend toward non
physical sexual satisfaction
It has long Ixen an accept
ed |>remise among psychol
ogists that sexual stimula
tion and violence are
closely connected. Equal
satisfaction can lx achieved
in the carrying out of
aggressive tendencies as in
the completion of the sex
act. Therefore many sex
deviates a n d frustrated
college students were at
tracted to Sciuridae shoot
ing-
It behooves us here to
delve into the actual me
chanics of the sport sea
that the reader might per
ceive the relevancy of the
aforementioned causes to
the rise of the sport. The
term shoot, does not have
the usual connotations.
Here, the shooting is ac-
complished with the hunt
er's eyes rather than with
any form of firearms. It is
for this reason that there
is absolutely no chance of
one killing or maiming
one's prey. Note also, the
inexjaensive - aspect of the
sport since no equipment
is necessary in the pursuit
and shooting of Sciuridae.
The question usually raised
at this point is what pur-
|x)sc run there lx in a
s|x>u which claims shoot
ing but only makes use
of the eye? I can only ask
that you forestall making
a conclusion until you
have understood the finer
|x>ints of the S|x>rt.
Being a sport of pursuit,
shooting Sciuridae appeals
mostly to males. The few
females who have engaged
in this activity are invari
ably ostracized by women
and found to be extremely
undesiralile by men. One
interesting fact is that the
females who do become
avid hunters are usually
educated in boarding
schools or women's col
leges.
The most important
facet of the hunt is the
locating of the quarry.
Curiously enough, the ma
jority of Sciuridae are to
be found indoors and in
public areas of congrega
tion. Unlike mast small
game who prefer open
areas and solitude, the
Sciuridae prefer compan
ionship and enclosure.
Though it is assumed that
they are also present else-
where, and infrequent
sightings are reported out
of doors, the experienced
hunter will seek them in
doors. According to sta
tistics they are found most
frequently in restaurants,
but stations, train stations,
air ports and libraries.
They are also quite pre
valent in classrooms but
the nature of seating ar
rangements make them
quite difficult to shoot
The library offers the
best hunting ground since
noise is at a minimum.
The most prominent char
acteristic attributed to
Sciuridae is a tendency to
wards skittishness if they
are aware that they are
being observed. The si
lence of the library at
mosphere encourages them
to concentrate on some
object and they are less
likely to be aware of the
hunter's presence. Should
they perceive that they are
being watched their first
reaction is to hide behind
a limb. If this occurs there
is little, if any, chance that
they will reappear in that
same environment within
several hours. Fortunately
they are also noted for
short memory and though
they may be exposed one
day, they will readily ap
pear there on another day.
They may also be seen,
even immediately after be
ing exposed, as they change
from limb to limb ascer
taining the hunter's where
abouts.
After locating the prey
the hunter begins to stalk
it. At this point the object
is to place oneself in such
a position as to have a
completely unobstructed
view of the animal. This
is not as easily accom
plished as it may sound.
As was previously men
tioned, the Sciuridae is
very sensitive to sound and
avoids, at all cost being
seen. It is, therefore, not
only important not to at
tract attention to oneself
by making noise, but also
by not making it obvious
what one's intention is.
Needless to say, the most
successful hunters are those
accomplished in the art of
nonchalance. Another haz
ard in maintaining unob
scured vision ts the Inter
ference by non-hunters.
Any afficiando knows to
steer clear of a fellow
hunter but the uninformed
can be frustrating. Un
aware of what the hunter
is attempting to accom
plish they will walk care
lessly back and forth in the
direct line of vision. Pa
tient hunten, though they
find this annoying, endure
the hardship, while others
lose their tempers and in
the ensuing ruckus fright
en the Sciuridae away-
Though the pursuit is
enjoyable, the actual plea
sure is not derived until
the act of shooting. Shoot
ing, as was mentioned, is
simply staring at the Sn'un
dae. The degree of vicari
ous pleasure obtained de
pends on the personality
make-up of the hunter, but
is usually considered inde
scribable. Many report that
they were unable to stand
or walk for several minutes
after a good shot. Thi:
brings us to the only major
drawback to this unusual
sport. Often the hunter
will return from a success
ful hunting trip only to
discover that he feels frus
trated and distraught. In
sufficient research denies
me the opportunity of ex
plaining these reaction
but I feel certain that, will
the spreading popularity of
the sport, the government
will appropriate funds for
such study (See I. Need
funder's book. "Govern
ment Spending on Insig
nificants,” Congress Puli
lishing Co., 1967). Th
only satisfactory remedy
which, by the way, was
found accidently, seems to
be social intercourse cor
ceming the day s activitie
The importance of thi
sport can be realized frori.
this article, and also the
excitement. I am sure the
reader will agree that it is
indeed strange that no
other author has delt witli
the subject properly. Pe
haps now that it has
broken into print ther
will he many competen
elaborations by huntei
more experienced
more proficient in the
sport than myself.
©je (JWeror Cluster
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