Newspaper Page Text
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HflYWARD -
DEPAIIT
i:xt
HAM©
GRENADE
Best Hand Grenade Fire extinguisher ever produced.
Reliable, wimple, ©oopDi.nical • will not freeze or burst.
Resists the .^x;tion.of ail climates, will iiV.t deteriorate',
with age. -Ea^ly i :btokc(h,-caii be used by any ohe . The
liquid contained in it is abstd .ut ely h a r u J s to lie p h and
fabric. Kverything it touches becohies fire-i>ro6f,'i‘or
whatever it falls upon will not burn. We do not claim
to extinguish oonflagratioris i >r to usurp the pltfe^ocqn-
• pied by the Fire J/Mpiirtnujnts, but we emphatically hold
that ho incipient lire ban possibly liv
CO
H
8
M
m
BUDGET OF FUN.
ils supplied with all the requisites for d<ung
all kinds of Job atil Cook worU in F r&tr
Clo,bS SCyle. E'ro. 1 «ipt v antL at ltea-
amiable l'ricea.
'WEDDING CAEDS,
ViSiTiNG CARD3,
BUSINESS CAEDS,
BALL CAEDS,
.POSTERS,
HANDBILLS,
PROGRAMMES,
STATEMENTS,
.LETTER HEADINGS,
DODGERS,
PAMIHLET3,
ETC. ETC.. ETC.
FIRST CLASS—Grocers Keep It.
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the HAYWARD HAND CREXABES are used as directed,
and thus conflagrations or disastrous fires are prevented.
Send to us for full particulars and. one of our new
pamphlets containing proofs Of the wonderful efficiency
of,our Grenades in extinguishing actual fires. No Farm
House, Barn, Private Residence, Hotel. Public build
ings, or Manufactory should be without their protection.
We want live, active, reliable iuuu for agents in the United
States. Address
HAYWARD l-IAiVI> GRENADE CO.,
407-409 Broadway, New Yforlc.
| %M & WiuTt&jbt’* V
^fttag-ltfCeKSSOR TO ,
fn aiseoses ofthe D.'V
M I
i 8km and J
In diseases oi the R.:' ■ 8kiu and Bones.—X©rvous Lability,
irapotency, Organic v’iVoAkness, f-onorrhtfia, Syplii.it T«; aiV
Mercurlal AfTectipris. S ricntific tvaimeut; b'afd ar.d sui?
remedies, Treated.<H'l or ■write for, list ol
luestion^ t'n b«j ; afi»werpd.by those 'desiring treatment by mail,
C Personi r.affcrlnuItnnW^rn should send their address,"ft
and icarn somethin"iotheir advantage. Itisnot.p truss.jp
Address T.r, €. L. I.al’ARGK, Pres’t and Firtsieljm In Chare'.’
Central Sled. Burrr. Institute, 02(1 Locust %M St.Lonls.Mo.
Ajje-.pr.ser rn T*. TSt^ f .„ aary Established .SO V**«
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■ « I ta
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m
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Were washed with
ELECTRIC LIGHT SOAP
Without Rubbing.
First Class Housekeepers use it.
1st. Washing: clothes in the wsuaS
manner as decidedly hard work; it.
wears you out and the clothes too.
2d. Try a better plan and invest
five cents in a bar off EEECTRIC
L S OUT SOAP. Saves Time, Labor,
Money, Fuel and Clothes. Use as di
rected em the wrapper off each bar.
ORDERS SOliICZTED.
ATKINS SOAP CO. |
f INDIANAPOLIS. IND. 1
6& ET?
HI GIRL I LEFT BEHIMB ME#
. Illustrated by the use of a Buggy made by T. V. Hnydoei. which is not only the Le
Bugsy in this picture, but ®H R LRAOIV6 BCOGVOF AKliKICA. Be*
Haydock’s Safetv Kins Bolt and Fifth Wheel. Ask yon denier for the r io
HlArDOCK Br««ir.- with the Haydock Safely King g and Fifth Viheel.
Life is in sect* re riding over any other. , ..
(This picture will be fur niohed oa a largo cii r C } printed elegant style, fcoanysne who will agree- tofranc it..}
CC =, ?t , nc 3 . for Catalogue mi>3L
VV holetftilo Price I.tst. L«iv
ACEHTS WANTED WEEKS WE FAVB WOSEf
style, to acynne who will
. Hr^LTrDocis:, o’ : /1
Iiza' sind Iwelftii Sts., O,
Pft iff! FI'/'^TT.IBLT
w
a-, beajdl:
3vEerid.en. Coelh.,
H3"Z"
SOLE, MANUPAOTURER,
E. H. RICE 4 S§ ! §„ Solid Comfort Boards and Spindle Wagons, single and double seated,
Riding qualities unsurpassed. No jar to the feet, Durable and stylish. Prices reason
able. Shipments singly or by carload to all parts of the United States.
Responsible Agent wanted in every town. Send for Price List and descriptive Catalogue.
Correspondence earnestly solicited. O ... ,
b N. B. Every person acting as Agent for our Wagons, will have his name with advertise-
ment/of Wagons advertised in the leading paper of the county or town where Agent resides,
jj ' gratis 1 for six months*
The Brown Cotton Cin Co.,
3STEW LONDON, Conn.
Manufacturers of the Old
Reliable Brown Cotton Gins,
Feeders, and Condensers. All
the very latest improvements:
two brush belts, steel bearings,
improved roll box, patent whip-
per, extra strong brush. New
perfected Feeder, enlarged dust
proof Condenser.
Strong, durable and simple
in construction. Gins fast, -runs
light, and cleans the seed per
fectly.
Send for Circular and Price
List.
D. M. PARKY, Presto
T. H. PARRY, Secy.
PARRY’S PATENT COTTON & CORN PLANTER.
TWO PEEFECT MACHINES IN ONE.
The Only Successful and Perfect Planter,
made to Plant both Cot
ton and Corn.
NO SPRINGS.
NOT COMPLICATED.
Any body can manage
and run it.
Plants Cotton Seed as
Comes from the Gin,
Address—
C SPRING
Sows any de
sired quantity
from 1 quart
to 3 bushels to
They are Cheap com
pared with other Plan
ters.
DON’T buy until you
see this Machine.
CART CO.* *
RUSHVILLE, IND.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES, ■ FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
Had Been Interviewed—A Bijj Bo®
—How &e Could Take Re Venge
—An Errand of Charity—
The Lawyer’s Friend.
L “Why, good gracious, Daringer!” :|(ou
look sis if you had been shot through a
grain elevator.” ' f'
“1 was out in the country, Bromley,
arranging fof summer boarding: v . . ,
“Well, but what happened to.you?”
“I—I—was interviewed.”
“Interviewed! J!y a reporter?”
“No.” '
“A slugger, then?” •
“j^o. By Farmer Watson s. bulLi4-rj-_
Philachl^'iu, Gall.
jtidge keeping step like, a soldier, while
the friends on the sidewalk swapped
opinions about what a bad eye that man.
had.—-Texas Siftings.
A Big Dog. -.
Tiie. Jmds .of many people are not
fitted for struggles, in mathematics.
When it came to fractions, Mike, for ex
ample, was at sed with no hope of ever
getting ashore., j -
“What are you going to do with that,
dog, Mike?” ,>
“Sure an’ I want to sell him, sok”
“How much do yoq ask for him?”
“Well,, bein’ as it’s you, sor, I'll .sell
him to you chape, and a better dog niver
walked in shoe-leather. 5 You can have
him for two dollars, sor.”
“What breed, is he?”
“Well,; soi;, he’s—he’s—-he’s half terrier
and half Newfoundland, an’—an’ half
mastiff, sor.”
“Ah: Wellif this, is the first time I
ever knew of a dog having three
halves.” . . .
“Arrah, an 1 that’s a big dog, so. he is,
He’d make a dozen halves of the little
_felly goin’ along beyant ye there.”
How He Could.Take Revenge.
“Life.” said the cynic, “life is not
worth the living.” l
- “No?” said the damsel 1 at Ms side.
“Why?”'/
: “Life is a bore. Human nature is so
tame, insipid, ridiculous, in all except
the vicious classes. Society in the. ac
cepted sense does not live, my dear Miss
Jones. It passes the time.” ,
“And has lots of fun sometimes'.”, /' ■: £
’ “Never. It believes ,it/has fuu‘;-but
it’s very sorry, stupid, dull fun. 1 am a
cynic. People bore mo to death.' Of
course there are exceptions, such as you
—but—others. They talk and talk and
talk, and I—I sit and listen, and think
what empty, brainless things men and
women arc. They wc®ry me.”
. “Well, why don’t you take your re
venge?”
‘•How?”
“Talk back to them.”
And the cynic grinned a sickly grin
and dropped the subject.— San Francisco
Chronicle,
An Errand of Charity.
. -T ‘‘Uncle Stead” is what they called it.
shrewd old gentleman who used to hyp in
Winthro|ma little way out of the.-RS»!jpP
up the side of the pond, near; Reao^eld; 1 '
One of ' Ms fellow citizens was or/man
named Lorejoy. - Uncle'StcA'd me* Love-
joy in the village, one clay, and he 'kaid;to
him: . : “Lo;yej()y, the.re’s a poop wopa'ak
lives out on the edge ' of the to%^jLat'
needs some provisions. I’m witling to'
supply her, but .I’ve sold- m.y horse'and
have no means of getting the stuff to,her?
Now, I’ll buy her a barrel of flour and a
ham and some other supplies if -you’ll
carry them out to her with your team.”/
Lovejoy said certainty, he’d be very giad
to do it. Accordingly, Uncle Stead
bought a barrel of flour, a ham, a bucket
of sugar, etc., and telling Lovejoy where
the % woman lived, gent him off on the er
rand of charity with the good things in
Ms pung.
Lovejoy easily found the house-where
the woman lived. He unloaded the
goods, puffing like a grampus as he rolled
the barrel of flour . in, and , said to the
woman: 1 ‘Mr. Steadman sent you the pro-,
visions., He’s a mighty kind-hearted
man to send you all these things.’*. /
“Well, I don’t know why he shouldn’t/
send them to me Pt/exclaimed the wornaik,
in surpiised accents, “He's my thus*-/
band.”—Lewiston (Me.) -Journal:
Starting the Mule.
It was a soft, bright day when the
crocus lifted its cup of flame from the
twinkling grasses, and the sky was dotted
with small white clouds. All was balmy
and serene, and the uncorked soul of -the
pCp.t' wascoverflowing like a bottle of
champagne.
The old canal-mule stood upon the toe-
path as solid as a rock. It,was impossible '
to move him even to tears. In vain did
his navigators attempt to start him by
prying his feet off the ground with a
crowbar. The more they pried, the firmer
the'mule stood, and smiled a smile that
floated over his countenance and melted
softly in his ears, wfhile the birds filled
the air with their German-silver notes.
J< ‘Get up there, you !!!! j£
-H! !,??.f?:!!!! !” shouted the driver.
But still the mule stood stock still, as
though intending.to gather moss, .
“—!?!?.!?!:!” shouted the driver once
more.
“I’ll bet I can start, him,’’ said a small,;
thick-set man.
“Let's see you.” replied the captain.
So'the thick-set man approached the.
hind-end of the dreaming quadruped.
He had formerly been a deck-hand on
the Gatskill boat, and thought he could
start the mule as they start refractory
cows up the gang-plank, namely, by
twisting Ms tail. Every eye was on him
as he took hold of the mule's tail to twist'
it. The mule himself looked com
placently Around, with a twinkle in Ms
eyes that seemed to say i ‘ ‘I am not a
stem-winder.”' He also seemed to be
calculnting' the -weight of the man,, and
deciding wMch county he would drop
him into.
“HikTI #| in Chemung county direct
ly,Usaid one.
. . “Or Sullivan county,” remirked. an
other.
[.- “Look, look, now,” they said to
gether.
By this time the tail was about half-
wound up, and was beginning to tighten
at the roots,. - Fie seemed to wind up as
slowly as a Waterbury watch. Finally
the -man got it all twisted up.
* The birds; .still sang their sweetest
songs, and the sky looked like, a blue
watered-silk d e ls. All nature ..seemed
to smile. So did the mule.
- Then the man gave the tail a twist
that caused the mule’s spinal column to
contract, and he just let go all his feet
•together—r-
' ' * ❖ ;/ * * *
And didn’t stop running until afternoon,
when l.e : fell exhausted, after having
pulled the canal-boat half 'way up. a
mountain. —Puck.
JOHNSON 5 ANOOINE
mMS
LINIMENT
AvekA ----- X, * **WV****15 vuugu, r» uvupiag
3Diarrb.oea, Kidney Troubles, and 8pinal Diseases. ]
PARSONS
*• These pills were a wonderful discovery. No others like them in the world. Will
relieve all manner of disease. The information ar * * ‘ .....
J
MAKE
N.E W, RICH
BLOOD.
'
Johnson Sc Co., Boston, Mass %
PILLS
......... _— —__ SP! ...11 positively ci___. y _,
relieve_all manner of disease. The information around each box is worth ten times the cost of a box of
illustrated pamphlet
' ' ,H. St.,Boston.
pills. Find out about them and you will always be thankful. One pill a dose. Illusti
free. Sold everywhere, or sent by mail for 25c. in stamps. Dr. 1.8. JOHNSON Sc CO., 22 C,
Sheridan's Condition i
Powder is absolutely
pure and highly con
centrated. Oneounce
is worth a pound of!
any other kind. Itis (
strictly a medicine to
be given with food.
.Nothing on earth
•will make hens lay
like it. It cures
chicken cholera and
all diseases of hens.
Is worth its weight
in gold. Illustrated
book by mail free.
be given wiin iooa. ■■ ™ ■ ■■ mi hh s «i ...
Bold everywhere,or sent bjr mail Jbr26 cents in stamps. 21-4 lt> JOHN&bJPje to^*
Six cans by express, prepaid, for $5.00.
AVEky
The Lawyer’s Friend.
One of the brigh test lights of the Aus
tin bar was, standing on the corner of
the avenue, surrounded by a. group of
admiring friends, when a man with a
peculiar stride and close-cropped'hair
walked up to the lawyer, and, taking one
of his hands in both of his, shook it as if
he was going to wrench it from his body,
saying:
“It's ten years; since I saw you, but I
knew you as soon as I laid eyes on you.”
The lawyer was embarrassed,,, but the
rough-looking sttanger helped him out.
“You did me a kindness once, ledge,"
and ef I eyer forgit it may my right arm
clove to . the roof of my rntiuth. Don’t
you rememcer when you practiced law
ten years ago, up in Dawson County?
You did me a kindness I never shall for-/’
get.”
The friends of the lawyer cast admir
ing glances at him, and one of them said
to the other that he, the lawyer, always
had a good heart.
“Yes,” continued the .stranger, still
holding on to the lawyer’s hand. “I had
-shot a man in self-defence and the sheriff
was going to lock me up when you nobly
volunteered to go, my bond. And yon;
didn’t know me, either.”
Tile lawyer^ said he thought he recol
lected the. circumstance, while the ad
miring friends said: “Just like him. He
is always going about doing good.”
“Yon offer d to go my botjd, but the
sheriff said he w mid be blessed if any'
jack-legged shyster could shove a straw-
bond, off on Mm. and if you remember,
judge, he refused to approve the bond, and
I wai locked up,but I was always grateful
to you just the same. You tried to help
me ,to swindle justice according to law. I
broke jail that night,.and crippled several
people getting away, but, thanks to you,
I got away. ” \
“Where have you been since?” asked
the lawyer, seeking to change the conver
sation.
“I am jhst out of the Kansas peniten
tiary'. I 'would never got in thar if you
had beep about. A feller refused to drink
with me and I had to shoot him. Let’s
step across and have something,” add
running his arm through that of Ms legal
friend they marched across the street,the
Life Studies by Lige Brown.
The brightest eyes have wept.
The pocket is a poor savings bank.
Even a tramp can accumulate real es-
ale.
The “watcM’-word to bankruptcy—
I/“tick.”
•jjjqh’t argue with/a foolj or the iisten-
! ess will say there^fs a pair of you.
‘'Spiders arq ajlgcflonate little creatures/,
j TBnUmSle's - MtnfTEEeir;.loyerS//',
When the poet sang.of something that
was, /‘strong without hands,” lie proba-
b!y-ref(rrid to butter.”
■ Solomon 'had Kits of wisdom, but be
[ didn’t know anything about the conven-
jciende of a hip pocket.
The teacher who makes his scholars
j “smart” is not always the one who im
parts the most instruction.
The heroism that can wear old clothes
I until able , to buy ne# is said to be the
most lonely feeling on earth.
It is said that a vigorous motion of the
•jaws will cure nose bleed. / No wonder the
[women folks aie seldom troubled with
that complaint.
Dio Lewis says a man needn’t sneeze
unless he wants to. He most generally
wants to, though, by the time the sneeze
[ gets fairly on deck.
I / Before Beston goes entirely crazy over
| her female barbers she ought to pause a
little between beans and ruminate upon
the,trouble Samson got into by letting a
I woman cut his hair..
It is a well-known fact that a woman
lean never hit the thing she throws at, and
• yet the world is full of blue-nosed fogies
'who do not believe that everything has
been ordained fof the best.—Z Chicago
[ Ledger.
The President’s Desk.
The, President’s desk in the.early morn
ing presents a queer sight. When the
Chief. Executive lays aside his Havana to
-go to work, there are *pon the table all
sorts of things. Papers of every descrip
tion, pertaining to almost every known
subject under the sun, are there, and the
writing on the envelopes is 1 a study.
People resort to every means to reach the
President’s ear and eye, and present their
claims after their own style, “Personal”
■is always written on letters addressed to
the President, but nearly all of Ms mail
is gone’through by Colonel Lamont and
the under-secretaries, and the really per
sonal or important letters sifted out and
laid on the President’s desk, and these
are legion. His desk is always neatly
arranged'in the morning, but it presents
s a sorry appearance when the day’s work
is done. The President receives a good
many papers from callers during the day,
and these he lays on his table. He is a
quick worker, and in an hour generally
has everything in order, and a majority
of the cases either disposed of entirely or
properly referred.
One of the most pleasant yet difficult
duties he has to perform is appeasing the
autograph craze. Doorkeeper Lceffler
generally has a dozen or so autograph
albums lying on Ms table. When the
President comes to Ms office in the
morning Loeffier takes in Ms littte load,
and if the President appears to be in-a
good humor he lays them on the table,
and the President, with a laugh and some
remark about the craze, writes Ms signa
ture nearly always this way:
Grover Cleveland, H
March 27,1886. " '
When the books have all been signed
Lceffler takes them to his desk and keeps
them until they are called for. The
President sometimes varies the way of
writing his autograph, occasionally fol
lowing the date by “Executive Mansion”
or “White House,” but never putting
“President” before or af.er Ms name.—
Washington Post.
flNGHfiCI
JToia IrafvLoedj Iitgh ArffVg
diTcyj ;il
an d Rotary I£dpem&iiids$ : A uio-
, rm:dic, Direct arid Perfect. A a- ■
|||ItgfJ Cylinder Shuttle, Self-sett-
tiny/ JSFetkdle,- jApisiibwe tFeedy JSTo
’ $»0mg : s, Few,'Parts,]Minimum
Wieighit,;tN'p Friction, FTo Noise, '
f FTOu Wear, No PdDigfyef No
■ ” Tantrums, ” Capacity Unlim-
ited, Always in Order, Richly
jCrnamented, /TicfesfclafecZ, and
i@p$es Perfect Satisfaction. /
f Nend for Circulars.
—Address—
AVERY MACHINE CO. r
812 Broadway, New York.
EXTRA L1QHT DRAFT
: to ii!a Sulky Plow
The Blue grass. -
BRBJUE BUBS*
AITB DOUBLS YOUR CROPi
The little. cliea'p,'’li-glif-rwaning EltjegeassSul-
k - !'.YLoWj wliich, any.body'cr.n manage wiiliout in-
struotion, does all the work of the expensive and
cumbrous machines, and reduces plowing to an
amusement. Cannot bo set wrang 6r g©t:en outof
order. Can be driven by anybody, a bey, a gii'l;/br a
cripple. Bottoms 8, 10 o» 12 inch cut for two
mules. Bottoms 14 or 16 inch cut for three
^ules. Ask your merchant to order one on
trial if he does nothave it in stock. "NYritofor De
scriptive Circular aud Prices.
THOS. MHKLE & GO., M’f’r? c-f Plows & Cultivators
LouisvifLiiE, mys*
LEFFEL’S
IMPROVED
ipny wma.
liiySPU
ALL THE PARTS MADE OF
MALLEABLE & WROUGHT IKON
No Shrinking, Swelling or Warping.
The Lightest Running, Strongest and Easiest
Regulated Wind Engine in the WORLD. The-
BEST is CHEAPEST. Send for Circulars to the
SPRINGFIELD MACHINE CO,
« Springfield, Ohio.
Highest Honor
FROM TH E
World’s Exposition
\ j(X"W^L.»X) E X) TO
E. W. & W. R. SMITH, of the
! COMMERCIAL COLLEGE
Kentucky University, Lexington, Ky.
Students can begin any week-day during the year.
No vacation. Time to eemplete the Full Biploma /Buisnuss
■Course about 10 weeks^. Average total cost, including Tui
tion, Set of Books, and B6ard in a family, $90. Telegraphy,
Phonography and Type Writing specialties. Literary
Course free. Ladies received. Over 6000.. Successful
Graduates. Over 600 pupils last year from 15 to 45 years of;
age, from 22 states. Instruction is practieaMy and individually
imparted by 10 teachers. Special course for Teachers and Busi
ness Men. University Diploma presented to its graduates.
This beautiful city is noted for its heaithfulness and society, and
is on leading railroads.
The Text-Book which received the highest award at the
World's Exposition for its Extensive, Practical, and Com*
prehensive system of Business F.ducation, is used only at.this
College.' It is the cheapest College with tbe Highest, endorse
ment-, and guarantees success in business to its deserving gradu
ates. For circulars and full particulars addrCf'^ its President.
WILBUR II. SMITH, Lexington, Ky.
Bsegga
■to
&
i AM
TLc Gjtc SnotQii
t'r —di ‘ • - * \ ' . t-
r ' .1 to ^ (juan wi Flour.)
fj-A the mnrkftf.ifor TO years ar.d- recommeudod
by pi-oiiiineiit physicians as healthful. 4
Y/drraiited lo fr?R ABiionla
Ami ail i *■' ■* '*vifh*-0 And ptr*
recTsiv*NpH'ti?i},
a! 3 ! jfiif gress? for a frea saisipia for trial.
' MADE ONLY BY
CHIRM lilOFIOTOHiNO CO.,
4Uo manufacturers r.f Q.iakvrTnble Sauce, Jel-
lies, I'reservFs. Maple ^ vfiitxs. Flavor-.
ing Extracts, etc., etc.
® r T. T-.OXTIS, MO.
BEWARE
OF IMITATIONS.
The Honsekeener’s Friend
ASK FOR,
AMD TAKE NO OTHER.
Solfl by the Grocery Trade generally,
"0ILYS20T"
SINGEH
ftIf Is the BEST SlilLT,
riNEST FiMISHED,
W EASIEST RUNNING
SINGER MACHINE ever offered the public.
The aliOveirtSut l epiyserits the most popular style for
the people w.liieh w e offei' you for the very low \iricp
of $z0. Ifemember, we do not susk you to'j>ay,until
have seen the machiiiov; After having examiiK’iiSit,.
if it? is iipt- a 11 \ve .represent, return it to us at ouks
expense. ’Consult your interests and /‘order at onceSo»
send for citcuhirs and testirrouials. Adtlress
GI F Aii LES' A .. WOOD & CO;, ;
No 17 N .Tenth, j|§ Philadelphia, Pa.
y
Favorite Carriage do.,
CINCINNATI, OHIO,
wholesale manufacturers of fine
BUGGIES, SURREYS,
PHAETONS, CARRIAGES.
Best in the world at the price. Ask your
dealer for them. If not handled in your
place, write us direct. Will send Cata
logue and Lithographs.
CHICAGO SCALE-CO,
W g TON WAGON SCALE, $40. 8 TON, $50.
,4Ton SOO^Beam [Box Included,
COTTON BEAM & FRAME, $45.
The “Little Detective,” J4 oz. to sp lb.
00 OTHER SIZES. Kednced PRICE LIST FREE i
POEGES, TOOLS, &o. 3
REST FORGE MADE FOR LIGHT WORK, $!
40 lb. Anvil and Kit off Tools, Sit
Farmers save time and money doing odd jobs.
Blowers, a nvils. Vices & Other Article
AT LOWEST PRICES, WHOLESALE & RETAIL.
HEADACHE
.and all BILIOUS COMPLAINTS are relieved by taking
WRIGHTS INDIAN VEGETABLE PILL?
rs 23s. AUDwjOlV.