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the times.
p, B. FREEMAN, Proprietor.
* * 11 -
CIRCULATES EXTENSIVELY IN
Gordon and Adjoining Counties.
Office: Wall St., Southwest of Court House.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Quo Year ...... $2.00
Six Months 1.00
Western & Atlantic Railroad
and its connections.
‘ • KENXESA W no TJTE.”
The following takes client may 23d, 1875
NORTHWARD. NoH.
fccavc Atlanta ........ 4.10 p.m
Arrive Cartersville ... 6.14
• Kingston 6.42 “
' Dalton .* 8.21 “
* Chattanooga 10.25 “
No. 3
Leave Atlanta 7.00 a.m
Arrive Cartcrsviilc 9.22 ~
“ Kingston 9.56 •
“ Dalton 11 .r,4 “
Chattanooga 1.56 p.m
No. 11.
Leave Atlanta 3,30 p.m
Arrive Cartersville 7.19 “
“ Kingston 8.21 “
“ Dalton 11.18 “
SOUTHWARD. No. 2.
Leave Chattanooga 4.00 p.m
Arrive Da1t0n...... 6.4 t “
“ Kingston 7,28 “
“ Cartersville 8.12 “
“ Atlanta 10.15 “
No. 4.
leave Chattanooga 6.00 a.m
Ari ive Dalton 7.01 “
“ Kingston 9.0"* ‘
*< Cartersville 9.42 “
* Atlanta 12 06 *\m
No. 13.
I'ato Dalton 1.00 a.m
Ari e Kingston 4.19 *•
“ Cartersville 6.18 “
“ Atlanta 9.20 “
■nil nan Palace Gars run o i Nos. 1 and 2
OOt veeu New Orleans and Baltimore.
I nil man Palace Cars run jn Nos. 1 and 4
„ct\iecn Atlanta and Naahvilie.
} uUram Palace Cars run on Nos. 2 and 3
it wool Louisville and Atlanta.
No change of cars Or
leans, At )bile, Montgomery, Atlanta and
Baltimore, and ouly one change to New
York.
Pissengsrs leaving Atlanta at 4 10 r. m.,
arrnoinNew York the second afternoon
tlier after at. 4.00.
Excursion tickets to the Virginia springs
and various summer resorts will be on sate
in N’W Orleans, Mobile, Montgomery, Co
lumbus, Mac an, Savannah, Augusta and At
lanta, at gieatly reduced rates, first of
June.
Parties desiring a whole car through to
he A irgima Springs or Baltimore, should
address the unlersigned.
Pa-ties contemplating travel should send
f.,r a copy of the Kennesaw Route Gazette,
conta uing schedules, etc.
fiflTSu Ask for Tickets via “Kennesaw
1 oute.”
B. W. WR FINN,
G.‘P. & T. A., Atlanta, Ga.
J I), TIN USE Y,
Watch-Maker & Jeweler,
CA TjIIO UN , GA.
All styles of Clocks, Watches and Jewelry
Heatlr repaired and warranted. __
J, s. McCREARY S
JACKSONVILLE, ILL.,
Breeder and shipper of the cclobratcd
POLAND CHINA HOGS.
OF THE BEST QUALITY.
Send for price list and circular.
cblG Cm..
Fisk’s Patent Metalic
BURIAT CASES.
llavig purchased nthe stock of Boaz &
Barott, which will constantly be added to
a full r/enge of sizes can always be found at
the old stand of Reeves &. Malone.
declG 6m.
HOW TO GET PATENTS."”"
TS FULLY EXPLAINED IN A HAND
I Book issued by Muilil & Co.j Publishers
of the Scientific American, 37 Park Row,
New York.
Send 10 cents for specimen of the
best illustrated weekly paper publi-hcd.
All patents solicited by Munn
PATrNT<S d’ Go - are noticed in the Scien-
A American without charge.
Hand Book free. No charge for advice and
opinion regarding the patentability of in
ventions, Send sketches. aug2 Gm.
SANDALWOOD
I‘osscsses a much greater power in restoring
to a healthy state. It never produces sick
ness, is certain and speedy in its action.—
It is fast superseding every other remedy.
Sixty capsules cure in six or eight days.—
No other medicine can do this.
Owing to its great success, many substi
tutes have been advertised, such as Pastes,
Mixtures, Pills, Balsam, etc., all of which
have been abandoned,
Dundee*, Dick $ Co.’s Soft Capsules contain
'tig Oil of Sandalwood, sold at all the D. ug
•S’tores. Ask for Circular, or send to 35 <s• 37
booster Street. New York , for ho?if. [jy2GG-m
Attention, Farmers.
I HAVE now opened at my farm, one mile
west of Calhoun, a shop for the manufac
ture the manufacture ef Wagons, Buggies,
c ‘c., and the execution of
all kinds op wood and
blacksmith work,
stml will be pleascu to serve } T on. The work
1 have done in the past is a sufficient guar
antee tor the future. None but the best
mechanics employed. Will furnish new
work or repair for you. My expenses a
this place are not near so great as they
"ere in town, hence 1 can do your work so
much the cheaper. I old customers
£ nd the public generally to give me a call
Z T. GUAY,
m ar29-Cm,
Southern Female College,
„ LA GRANGE, GA.
the collegiate year of nine and a half
consecutive months opens the last Wednes
ilay in September. The literary, music and
a dvantages are unsurpassed, and 20 per
( wu. cheaper than elsewhere. Nine premi
’uns for excellence in music and art were
'warded pupils 0 t this college at the State
ur within four years. Board and tuition
" er >hnmn $215. Write for catalogue.
I. F. COX, Fans
CALHOUN TIMES.
Two Dollars a Year,
VOL. YU.
CHEAPEST AND BEST!
HOWAKD
HIDRAIM! CHIT!
MANUFACTURED NEAR KINGSTON,
BARTOW COUNTY, GEORGIA.
Equal to the best imported Portland Cement*
Stud fur Circulate. Try this before
buying clseivhere.
Refers by permission to Mr. A. J. West
President of Cherokee Iron Company, Polk
county, Georgia, who has built a splendid
dam across Cedar Creek, using this cement,
and pronouncing it the best lie ever used.
Also refer co Messrs. Smith, Son & Bro., J.
E. Veal, F. I. Stone. J. J. Cohen and Major
lorn Berry, Rome, Georgia, Major 11. Bry
an, of Savannah, 'J'. C. Douglas, Superin
tendent of Masonry, East River Bridge,
New 1 ovk, Gen. Win. Mcßae, Superintend
ent W. & A. Railroad, Capt. J. Postell, C.
E. Address
G. 11. WARING, Kingston, Ga
octlCl y.
TRIE GEORGIA
Daily Commonwealth,
JS PUBLISHED EVERY EVENING,
(Sundays Excepted)
Bailie Conimoinvcalth Publishing Co*,
ATLANTA, GEORGIA,
And is edited by Colonel Carey W
Styles, late of tho Albany “News/’ with
efficient assistants.
The Commonwealth gives tho current
news of tlie city, .State and elsewhere, mar
ket reports, and vigorou j editorials on mu
nieipal, political, and general subjects.
The coining canvass, State and National
w'li be closely watched an 1 properly pre
sented, while the n.ccl aiiical and ngrierb--
iural interests of the State will not be neg
lected. It has a largo and rapidly increas
ing circulation.
TERMS:
One month, 75 cents. Two months, $1.25.
Four months, $2.00. One year, $6.00.
Printing’, ISimLmg and Ruling of
every kind, done iu the best style and at
lowed prices.
Coimuonwcallii Publishing Cos.,
Atlanta, Georgia.
GEORGIA AbSD ALABAMA
STEAMBOAT CWM
MotiCO 2
ALL goods shipped to the care of J. M.
ELLIOTT, Geu’l. Sup’t., Rome, Ga., from
Fhiladclpliia, New York and Boston, via
Charleston or Va. & Tenn. Air-Line, will be
guaranteed to all points on the Coosa, Oos
tanaula and Coosawattec rivers, at the fol
lowing rates, to-wit:
Class Class Glass Class Class Clasr
1 2 3 4 5 0
175 152 122 1 t’O 78 65
The steamers, << Magnolia and “ Mary
Carter” will run the following Schedule,
carrying the U. S. Mail:
Steamer Magnolia,
I cave Rome—Every Monday 1 p. ra.
Every Thursday 9 a. m.
Leave Gadsden—Every Tuesday 8 a. m.
Every Friday 8 a. m.
Arrive at Rome—livery Wednesday at G p. in.
Eveiy Saturday, 0 p. in.
Steamer Mary Catrcr,
Leave Rome Monday S a. m.
Arrive at Rome Wednesday 6 p. m.
Arrive at Carter’s Tuesdays 12 in.
Leive Carter’s Tuesdays 2 p. m.
Passenger Rates on Coosa River.
Rome to Cedar BlalF. $2 00
Rome to Center 2 50
Rome to Gadsden 4 00
Passenger Rates on Oostanaula
ancTCoosawattoo Rivers.
Rome to Reeves’ Station $1 00
Rome to Calhoun 1 50
Rome to Rcsaca 1 75
Rome to Field’s Mill
Rome to Carter’s Lauding 3 50
Rates to other points inquire at. the office
of Company ~ foot of Broad Street Rome, Ga.
TUm i giants.
For families intending to emigrate to
Texas the Georgia and Alabama Steamboat
Company offers a very desirable route via
New Orlcan?.
Direct and close connection is made from
Meridian via Jack:on and New Orleans with
Trains of the Texas line. Other informa
tlon can be obtained by addressing
JAMES M. ELLIOTT, Geifl Supt.
Geo. W. Bowen, John C. Printed,
Gen’l Freight Agt. Gcn’l Pass. Agt.
au $26-tf.
J. I>, duff ey,
e Door North
Foster &.
Ha'Li '5
” MAX ufao tore
HARNESS,
SADDLES, BRIDLES,
HORSE COLLARS.
Guarantees all work in bis line. Prices
flic very lowest. > t c.n be affonfou. Give
him a call. M
CALHOUN, GA., SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1576.
THE NATIONAL EXHIBITION.
Straggling Koles irom on Ex*
Callicnullo.
Pittsburgh, Pa., Aug. 24,1870.
Friend Freeman : Thinking you
would like to hear from me, 1 have con
cluded to write you and give your read
ers an outline description of my trip to
the Centennial, and some of the sights
I saw.
i left here August 15th by the Penn
sylvania Central Railroad, viewing the
grand scenery in crossing the Aleghany
Mountains, passing around Horse Shoe
bend, taking in the Capital of the State
—llarrisburgh—arriving in tho old
Quaker City at BA. m. I went there
to see she big show, therefore will not
say much about the city. On the nest
day my friend and I visit the Centen
nial. hut being tired from onr trip the
day before, do not reach the grounds
until three o’clock iu the afternoon.
Wc enter at the main entrance in
Main Building. On entering, one be*
comes suddenly surprised, completely
awe-strack, and to himself exclaims :
Where shall I begin ? what shall I look
at first? One has no idea of the im
mensity of the affair until they go and
see it. There is the whole world brought
together. A person who has taste for
fine art and wishes to see the produc
tions of foreign countries and the cus
toms of her people should not fail to see
the greatest display the world has ever
made. It is grand beyond description.
I went through there thinking I could
do tho work of seeing in threo or four
days, but great was my surpriso who i I
found that the Main Bui'ding woufo re
quire a week and others in proport ion.
One month would give a fair time for
one to see all the displays. I spent
three days of as hard work as I nver
did in my life. I went at it systematic,
procuring a guide book, taking a coun
try at a time, and had fairly just begun
my task at the end of that time, and
thinking Ihad done well, would return
to the city footsore nud boiily tired
out, with eyes protruding from intense
gazing.
My time was mostly spent examining
the display of foreign countries. The
Republic of Mexico has a grand dis
play—mostly in minerals, in whioh she 1
13 naturally very rich. France has an
immense display. In fact there is
scarcely a country whoso wonders do
not greet you—even to some of the
Cannibal Islands, who are there with
their display’of war clubs. Old Egypt,
in her display shows tho oldest relics.
There is to be seen couking utensils dat
ing back threo thousand years, also their
ancient musical instruments. The coat
of mail so often mentioned in the an*
cient wars and also one of their pyra?
mids is here seen. In tho French ex*
hibit I find the mosaic lion taken from
tho pavement in fyont of some of the
old temples. It carries tho date of four
thousand years ago, during the wars of
the Modes and Persians. The relic is
very large and the price asked for it is
five t-houtand dollars in gold, including
duty of all the interesting por
tions of the show is the Fine Art Gal
lery. which requires at least a week to
see it. Here is tho place for the lover
of history, either srered or profane, to
come. In passing through these spa
cious balls and glancing up, you find
yourself gazing upon the art represent
ing France, Spain. Austria, Sweden,
Norway, Denmark, Greece, Italy, arid
the United States, but of all the speci
mens'one sees, both in oil and sculp
ture, Italy ranks the highest. One
Italian sculptor has on exhibition a black
marble slab about the size of the top
pieoe of an ordinary centre-table. This
Truth Conquers All Things.”
Our TVext FM'esident and Vice President*
is designated to you as the table of sci
ence. The work is inlaid in this mar
ble slab with pearls and precious stones
representing art and science. So per
lect is the work and so smooth the sur
face that the slightest is not found in
rubbing the hand over it. This marble
slab is valued at ten thousand dollars,
but when we come to consider that it
required seven skilled workmen three
years steady labor to complete the work
the price does not appear bo great.—
John Chinaman is a very skillful carver
and delights in having furniture witfc
odd looking heads and faces and all
kinds of fanoy designs oayved on them.
In this exhibition is to be seen a bed
stead forming a small pavilion, which
is very iugeneously carved out of some
hard wood like oak,’ The work is very
skilfully doue. The price for the bed*
stead is four thousand dollars, and were
tho same work done in this country the
price would be about eight thousand
dollars. When it comes to the manu
facture of fine furniture generally in
point of beauty of design and fine fin-
ish and also oi carriages and vehicles,
the United States surpasses them all.—
Among the foreign display of earriagOß
I noticed France, Italy and Germany
stand far back of the age in carriage
building.
The weather being very hot we run
down to Atlantic City, N. J., f(\r a rest
and change of scenery and take a surf
bath, then return to finish our Centen
nial visit, passing through the world’s
flower garden, which deserves time and
attention, but I will not go into detail
Machinery Hall is very noticeable, —
The great Corliss Engine running eight
tnile3 of shafting. The Pennsylvania
Railroad Company have purchased the
Mam Building at and at the close of the
: r , tola! they intend taking it down
and ; >ving to Chicago for their depot
The builuing is 1880 feet long and so
e nst . noted to come apart by piece meal
and w hen erected as a depot will be the
largest in the world.
Wc spend Sunday in the city. In
the afternoon wo take a stroll in Fair
mount Park and leturn in the evening
to prepare for our departure on the early
trains next morning. Here W 8 part,
iny friend going East and I returning
via Baltimore, stopping I here to visit
some of the places of interest. Leav
ing there. I next visit our national cap
itol at Washington, but as Congress
hud adjourned, there was not so much
to be seen. From there Igo to Cum
berland, crossing the Potomac on the
iron bridge at Harper’s Ferry. Wind
ing up, I find myself again in the Smo
ky City. Centennial.
The reappearance of silver,though in
a very limited quantity has caueed some
of our people to be seized with a mania
for procuring and hoarding it. This is
especially so among old women. Some
of this class would rather burn a bushel
of fractional currency than to spend a
dollar in silver. This is not only fool
ish, but dangerous in this season of the
year. Foolish, because it is not werth
any more than greenbacks, and danger.,
ous.becaus it attacks’botb lightinng and
rouges. We are informed that during
the storm which prevailed Friday the
house of an old country lady, a few
miles from this place yho had a few
hundred dollars of the, was struck by
lightning and badly damaged tfie old
lady suffering a severe shock herself —
Scientists in the neighborhood say that
the silver concealed in a bureau attract
ed the lightning.— Ex.
—
Rome News: The grasshoppers are
a humbug. The report of their ravages
upon the farmers on the Etowah is not
corrct. We passed down the road to
Atlanta, at and we are certain that we did
not see a stalk of corn or cotton with
even a nibble on them.
THE GEORGIA DEMOCRACY.
Proceediugs* of the State Execu
tive Committee.
Atlanta, Ga., Aug. 25,1876.
Pursuant to call of Clifford Anderson,
President of the late Democratic State
Convention, members of the newly ap
pointed Dejjttotjratie State Executive
Qommittee met at parlor No.£. Kimball
House, at 11 A. M.
On motion, Miles Lewis was made
temporary chairman, and E. Y. Clarke
temporary secretary.
On calling the roil Messrs. M Lewis
Warren, J. M. Pace, W. T. Trammell
W. F. Simmons, W. VY. Turner and E.
Y. Clark responded to their names.
There being no quorum, the commut
ed adjourned till three o’clock to await
tho arrival of other members.
M. W. Lewis, Ohm’n.
E. Y. Clarke, Secretary.
AFTERNOON SESSION
Atlanta, Ga., Aug. 15,3 p.m.
Committee met pursuant to adjourn
ment, Mr.Lewis in the chair. A quo°
rum was fouud to be present as follows:
Messrs. Lewis Warren (by proxy),Pace
Mclntyre (by proxy Nicholls ( b J
proxy), Pace, Jones (by proxy), Turns
er, Simmons, Johnson (by proxy),
Trammell, E. Y. Clarke, John T Glenn
proxy for M Blandford andE. P. How
ell proxy for W. A. Harris.
On motion of Mr Pace, seconded by
Mr. Warren,Col. Lester was unanimous
ly elected chairman of the committee.
E. Y. Clark was unanimously elected
secretary.
The secretary was directed to inform
Col. G. N. Lestev at once of his elec*,
tion.
On motion a committee of two consis
ting of Mesrs. Warren and Trammell
were appointed by the chair to wait up*
on Gen. Colquitt, the Democartic can
didate for Governor, ask him to visit
the committee and present them with
his views upon the present canvass
should he desire to do so.
Mr. Turner moved that the next
meeting of the committee take place at
Macon.
Mr. Simmons offered a substitute
that when the committee adjourn, it do
so to meet again at such a time as the
chairman shall designate, the substitute
was passed.
Here Col. Lester ajpeared signified
his acceptance of the chairmanship,and
took his seat.
The committee sint for Gen. Col
quitt returned with him, and by request
he offered his views and suggestions
touching a thorough organization of the
party throughout the State and au act
ive canvass.
Mr. Pace introduced the following
resolutions which after, slight amend
ment were passed :
Resolved , That the Chairman
and Secretary be appointed a sub
committee with power and authority
to represent this committee on all
matters iu tho conduct of the fall cam
paign3.
Resolved , That recognizing the
necessity of organization as an import
ant condition of large success, wo ex
hort the' Democracy of each county in
thi state to look carefully and prompt
ly to thorough organization establishing
a system where it may be wanting and
perfecting it where it now exists; and
that the chairman or secretary of such
organization be requested to report to
the secretary of this committee without
unnecassary delay.
Resolved , That we consider party uni
ty to be of prime importance, and we
do earnestly aepreeate all independent
candidacy.
Resolved, That the chairman of this
committee be requested to prepare and
issue an address to the Democratic par-'
ty of this State, embodying the views
of this committee as expressed in the
foregoing resolution, with such other
matters as he may choose to present.
On motion, the Chairman was author*,
ized to appoint a sub-elector in each
county of the State.
On motion of Mr. Warren, the Chair
man was directed to appoint a finance
oospmittep of thirteen molding the sec
tary as treasurer, to raise fund[s for cams
paign purposes.
On motiou, the Chairman and secre*>
tary were made a sub-committee to
transact all business not requiring the
committee.
After making seven members of the
committee a quorum,, the committee
adjourned to moet at tho call of the
Chairman.
Geo. N. Lester,
Chairman
E. Y. Clarke,
Secretary.
What filartha Washington Need
ed.
In an old Country house in New Jer
sey owned by a family who claim a re
mote relationship to Martha Washing*
ton, the writer reoently found among
o her relics of the past, most carefully
hoarded, a memoranda of some toilet ar
ticles which George Washington sent
to London for in 1759, the first year of
his marriage. The following is an ex
act copy of this memoranda, which is
curiously quaint:
1 Cap, handkerchief and tucker.
2 Fine lawn aprons.
2 Double handkerchiefs.
2 Pairs of white silk hose.
6 Pairs of fine cotton hose.
4 Pairs of thread hose.
1 Pair of black satin shoos of the
smallest fives.
1 Pair of calamanco shoes.
1 Fashionable hat or bonnet.
6 Pairs kid gloves.
6 Pairs of mits.
G Breast .knots.
1 Dozen silk stay laces.
1 Black mask.
2 Dozen fashionable cambrio hand*,
kerchiefs.
2 Paiis neat small scissors.
1 Pound of sewing silk.
1 Box of real minikin pins and hair
pins.
4 Pieoes of tapo.
6 Pounds pf perfumed powder.
1 Piece of narrow white satin ribbon.
1 Tuckered petticoat, of a fashiona
ble color.
1 Silver tabby petticoat.
2 Handsome breast flowers*
6 Pounds of sugar candy.
One of the most suggestive matiimo
nial advertisements ever published is
one which recently appeared in a San
Francisco paper. It is a call from a one
eyed girl for r mate similarly afflited.
The notice is not given, though it is
air to assume that the young woman,
being compelled to have an eye single to
the interest of such a husband as she
may have, desires to make sure that the
husband shall have no advantage in that
respect. It is the honesty of the adver
tisement, however, that is its suggestive
feature, rather than the lost eye, which
can scarcely be called a “feature” at all
If physical defeofs are to be this can
didly confessed in advance of matrimo
ny, why not mental defects, as well ?
Why may wc not hope that marriage
seekers with one idea will heroafter be
as frank as the San Francisco girl with
one eye and no “dear ?”
Boarder—“ Has the red*haired girl
gone away ? ’ Landlady : “Yes sir.”
Boarder :“ I thought so. I found a
Mack hair in the butter to-day.”
In Advance.
NO. 2.
Rates of Advertising.
®- For each square of ten lines or less
for the first insertion, sl, and for each eub
sequent insertion, fifty cents.
No.Sq’rs [ 1 Mo. 3 Mos. | o Mot' I 1 year.
Two $4.00 £7.00 $12.00 | $20.0b
Four “ 6.00 10.00 18.00 35.00
column 0.00 16.00 25.00 40.00
“ 15.00 26.00 40.00 65.00
“ 25.00 40-00 65.00 115.00
Sheriff's Sales, each levy £4 oo
Application for Homestead 2 (HJ
Notice to Debtors and Creditors 4 00
Land Sales, one square 4 00
Each additional square 3 OO
She Thought She Knew.
The passengers in the sleeping coach
were just and izing off when somethibg
howled out :
“Ow—wow—wow !”
“Great dragons there’s a young one
aboard 1” growled a fat man from his
upper berth. I’ll bet a hundred dol
lars Done of us can get a wink of sloep
to-night. w
“Wow wow !”
“1 here he goes ! I never traved
but what I run ageoss some one’s off
spring.”
“Who’s that talking ?” called tho
mother of the child iu a loud u nd clear
voice.
“Me! Why didn't you leave that
child at home or t*y at home your
self?”
“Are you talkig to me ?” demand
ed the woman.
“Yes ma’am, I am ! I say its a shame
to bringja sick chi and into a slejping-car
to disturb twenty or thirty people.”
“Are you a father ?”
“No.”
“Nor a mother ?”
“No, ma'am.”
“Weil, sir, when you’ve boen the
mother of eleven children, lived in rrino
different States, and worn one corset
right along fur seventeen years you’ll
begin to think you know your business.
I thing I know mine ; and if this Daby
wants to howl lie’s going to do it, if I
have to come over there and kick a ton
of conceit out of you.”
Influence ol Greenbacks.
He looked like he might have had
fifteen cents last full, but who had used
the last of it weeks ago. W’hen he sat
down in tho restaurant the waiters paid
no attention to him, and rapped several
times befuro the colored man slid that
way.
“I want fried oysters,” said the man
as he looked over the bill of fare.
“Deyisjust out, fried oysters is,”
replied the waiter.
“Bring me a chicken tlieD,” replied
he man. j
“Dere isn’t one in de place!”
“Got any venison.
“Not an inch, sah.”
“Ham and eggs ?”
“No sah.”
“See here, I want a square rreal. I’ve
got the ducats right here, and I can pay
for my dinner, and buy your cook shop
besides.”
He lifted a big roll of greenbacks out
of his poaket shook it at the darkev aud
said :
“Ilavo you a chicken ?”
_ es, sail, I guess so, sah; I have the
biggest kind o’ belief dat since we com
menced to talk a chicken has blown
right into the kettle and been cooked.
And now about dat venison and dose
fried oysters dey has also arrived.”
-
He lounged up to the office counter
picked up a tookepick, and as he pri
ed away at his molars he said to the
clerk :
“Must be hard—musn’t it ?—for a
man to be buried in a trance state V*
“Yer’r.”
‘That’s all I’m afraid of. I’m afraid
I'U be burned before I’m dead.”
“I guess not, the law regulates
that.”
“The law ! How.”
“It prescribes how long the doby
shall hang before being cut down.”
# 'l'be man softly laid down the took
pick and went over to look at the Giles
of the daily papers.
# “So you are going to marry a drug
gist’s clerk ?” remarked a Chicago girl
to another on the street oar yester
day.
The question was asked in an unmis®
takable tone of derision, and so the fair
ono addressed, half apologeticelly re®
plied:
“Of course; don’t they have all the
soda water they want for nothing?”
t t 4^ es >” was ‘he gloomy repty, “they’r
all right in summer, but what about
next winter ?”
Oh, maybe be that time we’ll bo di
vorced. >■
—
It is said that red shirts dyed in anil
ine colors are found to be poisonous and
ofted kill those who wear them. It is
30sible that there may be a mistake in
this matter and that the sufferers from
the red shirts had purchased from some
friendly Catel of the Administration, the
“bloody shirts” which Attorney General
\\ llliams and Morton had on hand when
the outrage bureau was sold out. They
arc like the shirt of Hercules dyed in
the blood of Neesus, death to those who
handle thorn. —N.O. Times.
An old lady was in the habit of talk
ing to her friends in a gloomy depres?-
mg manner, presenting only the sad side
of life. “Hang it/- said one, after a
lopg and sombre interview : ‘she would’t
a,low there was a bright side to the
moon!
The judge the other mornincr asked
a prisoner charged with drunkenness
what he intended to do. He replied
frankly that he “wasn’t his own boss
this morning.
j was a pudding, mamma.”
U . Cau se I should have lots of
sugar put into me.”
Why is the opening of the campaign
Ike a fashionable woman? Because
there s a great bustle about it