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The Calhoun Times.
Volume T.
THU CALHOUN TIMES.
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IfAILKOAI >S.
> Western & Atlantic.
momt passenger train— outwaro.
I.etve Atlanta p ' M '
Arrive atSCathoun 11-21 a. m.
Arrive at Chattanooga a. m.
DAT PASSENGER TRAIN—OUTWARD.
Leave Atlanta 3 1(1 A M
Arrive at Calhoun p ' M>
Arrive at Chattanooga o-«s<> «*• «•
ACCOMOI) TIOK TRAIN—OUTWARD.
1,..-,v» Atlanta 5550 p. m.
Arnvo at Dalton 3-50 P. M.
sight passenger train—inward.
Leave Chattanooga 7.50 p m.
Arrive at Calhoun.. 11.21 P. M.
Arrive at Atlanta 4 00 a. m.
, DAT TRAIN—INWARD.
Leave Chittanoo/a 5.30 A. m.
Arrive at Calhoun 944 A. m
Arrive at Atlanta 8.00 P. M.
ACCOMODATION TRAIN-INWARD.
Leave Dalton 200 p M
Arrive at Atlanta 1100 a. m.
- ■■ "
PROFESSIONAL CARDS.
>V. S. JOHNSON,
Attoimey LVt Law,
CALIIOEX, GEORGIA.
ft#'- Office in Southeast corner of the
f >"rt Douse.
Aug 11 1 If
I. C. r.MN. JOS. m’coxnei l.
fun and McConnell,
A.l/oriie,vs sit Law,
ra j.noi wtr geonaiar m "
fiafT' Office in the Court House.
Aug 11 1 5 *W
U M. TAKVEHi
Attomoyat Ijo-tv,
CA LUOI X. GEORGIA.
tnr Office in the Court House.
Aug II 1 ts
W J. ( VNTKKI L,
Altorne.v _A.t Law.
( 1 VI. HO IN, GEORGIA.
WILL Practice in the Cherokee Circuit,
in I . 8. District Court, Northern Dis
trict Af Georgia, (at Atlanta); and in the Su
preme Court of the State of Georgia.
EL JL KIKEB,
Attorney I^aw,
CALIIOEX, GEORGIA.
[t tjfu'e ct the Old Stand of Cantrell .j - Kiker. J
\\ r ILI, practice in all the Courts of the
m Cherokee Circuit; Supreme Court of
Georgia, uml the United States District Court
at Atlanta, Ga. nugl9'7oly
Bov, A. Martin,
A TTORXEY A T LA W,
D All LONEG A, - - - GKO.
Nov 10 1870 ts
HI!. W. I REEVES,
Suryeon X Physician,
CALHOUN, - - - GEORGIA,
MAY be found at his office, in the Brick
Store of Tsoaz, Barrett & Cos., day
or night—when not professionally engaged.
jan2o’7ltf
RUFE WALDO THORNTON,'
DENTIST,
Calhoun, - - - G. asgia.
fPIIANki'VL for Yvmer patronage, solicits
1. a continuance o f the same.
Office at Residence. scplo
DR. P ,G. HUNT,
Physician and Druggist,
CAL HO EX, GA.
New Manajieinentl
CALHOUNHOTEL.
E. It. SASSEES,
[ Fonnerh; of Allnnta, Ga. ]
RESPECTFULLY’' announces to the travel
i ling public, that he has refurnished and
lent ted the above hotel, ami is now ready to
•ccoinmedate all who may stop with him.
Pates mod< rate; and table furnished with
the best the market affords.
Calhoun, Ga., August 19th, 1870—ts
JTd. tjnsleT
WATCH-MAKER
AND- -
JEWELER,
'■ A Lit OCX, ! ; . ; GEORGIA.
,—o
X styles of Clocks, YYutches and Jewelry
neatly repaired and warranted.
*ugt9’7otf
R^ett& Son, Borne, Ga., will always
: *•’ !,iCV:ir J highest market price for Coun-
Tr y Produce. r
ROME ADVERTISEMENTS.
“Home Again.”
J. C. RAWLINS, Prop'r.
CHOICE HOTEL
BROAD ST., ROME, GA.
Passengers taken to and from the Depot Free
of ('barge. cctfi7otf
TENNESSEE HOUSE,
ROM Jfc, OEORGIA,
J. A. STANSBLKY, Proprietor.
f I HIE above Hotel is located within Twenty
I Ste t >* of the Railroad Platform Bug^age
handled free of Charge. o Hs’7otf
ALBERT O. PITIIER. HKKRY 11. SMITH.
PITNER & SMITH,
Wholesale and Retail
(Grocers & Commission Merchants
AND DEALERS IN
PURE KENTUCKY WHISKIES, Sc."
No. 25, Corner Broad A Howard sts.,
ROME , - - GEORGIA.
octO,l 870-1 y
COLCLOUGH, • :
HARKINS &
GLOVER,
Homo, Ga.,
GALL the attention of dealers to the fact
f j that they have just received the largest
stock of
Dry Goods, Boots, Shoes, &e.,
ever offered in the Cherokee country, anL.
can furnish them at exactly New York prices.
Cull anil be convinced. sept 22'70-1 y
Bones, Brown & Cos., J.&S. Bones & Cos.,
Augusta, Ga. Rome, Ga.
Established 1825. Established 1809.
J.&S. BONES & CO.
ROME, GA.
IMPORTERS
AND
Wholesale Dealers
IN
HARDWARE,
CUUm/GUNS, AC,
WILL offer for sale, the coming season ;
350 Tons Swedes Iron,
75 Tons “Jenks” Plow Steel,
A LARGE LOT OF
Imported Cutlery and Files,
Together with a full assortment of GEN
ERAL HARDWARE.
WE are Agents for It. HOF, & CO'S. Pat
ent Inserted Tooth Circular Saws; Machine
Belting, Orange Rifle Powder, and Home
Iron Manufacturing Co’s. Merchant Bur Iron
and Nails.
All of above to compete with any House
South. novl7’7o-4m
W. T. ARCHER,
Wholesale and Retail Dealer in
IFEllilll |
Mattresses, Looking-Glasses, &c.
All of which lam offering at extremely low
prices.
S2 Whitehall st. , : ATLANTA, GA.
novl7’7o-8m
J. H 7 CAVAN,
WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALER IN
Fine Wines, Liquors & Cigars,
Xo. 11 Granite. Block,
Broad Street, - ATLANTA, GA.
AGENT FOR TIIE SALE OF THE
Celebrated Cincinnati LAGER BEER and ALE
sept 29 For the State of Georgia. 3m
O H. & A. iv 7 FORCE,
SIGN OF THE
BIG IRON BOOT,
Whitehall Sxrf.kt, : : ; Atlanta, Ga.
7 >OOTS, Shoes nud Trunks, a complete Stock
1J and new Goods arriving daily ! Gents’
Boots and Shoes, of the best makes. Ladies’
Shoes of a'l kind*. Boys, Misses and Children’s
Shoes of every grade and make.
We are prepared to offer inducements to
Wholesale Trade. sept'2 ,’7O-1 v
BETTERTON, FORD & Ca,
WHOLESALE DEALERS IN
DRAMS, WHISKIES,
Wines, Tohaeeos, Cigars, &c.,
No. 209 , MARKET ST., No. 209.
CHATTANOOGA, TENN.
oct 13,1870-1 y
{ESTABLISHED IX 1855.)
J.O.MATHEWSON,
PRODUCE
COJfMISSIOX UEIU UANT
A EG EETA, GEORGIA.
sept 22 1870 lv
Established in IHSO,
T. R. RIPLEY,
Removed to Peachtree Street,
ATLANTA, GEORGIA..
Wholesale Dealer in
CROCKERY & GLASSWARES,
WILL duplicate any Bills bought in any
Market, to the amount of One Hun
dred Dollars, and upwards, adding Freight,
P. S. All Goods guaranteed as represented
from this Ileus#. - Aug 19 ly
CALHOUN, THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1871.
POETRY.
O]LD times.
There’s a beautiful song on the slumbrous air,
That drifts through the valley of dreams.
It comes from a clime where the roses were.
And a tuneful heart and a bright brown hair
That waved in the morning beams.
Soft eyes of azure and eyes of brown,
And snow-white foreheads are there ;
A glimmering Cross and a glittering Crown
A thorny bed and a couch of down,
Lost hopes and leaflets of prayer.
•
A breath of Spring in the breezy woods,
Sweet wafts from the quivering pines—
Blue violet eyes beneath green hoods,
A bubble of brooklets, a scent of buds,
Bird warblers and clambaring vines.
A rosy wreath and a dimpled hand,
A ring and a slighted vow—
Three golden curls of a broken band,
A tiny track on the snow-white sand,
A tear and a sinless brow.
There's a tincture of grief in the beautiful
song,
That sobs on the slumbrous air,
And loneliness felt in the festive throng,
Sinks down on the soul as it trembles along
From a clime where the roses were.
We heard it first at dawn of day,
And it mingled with matin chimes,
But yours have distanced the beautiful lay,
s floweth from far away,
And we call it now Old Times.
Have You Seen McLaughlin?
I mean to tell you the story of the
M’Ljflighlin affair, which was funny in
conception and provoked no ill will.—
Mike Walsh, the noted politician of New
York, was standing in Broadway, con
versing with a gentleman of respectable,
position in 'society. A most miserable
wretch, in the last stages of filth and
destitution, rags on his body and carbun
cles on his nose, came up, spoke to Mike,
shook hands and walked on.
“\\ by, Mr. Walsh,” said his friend,
“how can you keep such associations?
Don’t you know that they detract from
your respectability, even ?”
with a great show of
indignation—“ Why, don’t you know
who that is ? 4 lt is M’Laughlin. He is
the best known man in town. You may
turn up your nose; but I’ll bet you a
basket of champagne that he’ll be more
sought for during the next two days
than any one else.”
His friend laughed, and accepted the
bet. Mike started off, and the first
friend he met, he asked—“ Have you
seen M’Laughlin?”
“What M’Laughlin ?”
“I don’t know. He comes from Cali
fornia. and he has a package for you. I
don’t know what is iu it. It’s very
heavy.”
Now this was in the height of tho
gold fever. Every one nearly had some
friend or kinsman at the gold fields, and
every one expected a few nuggets as spec
imens. So this man just saying—“l’ll
bet it was from Ben Hooper,” asked
where M’Laughlin was to be found.
“I don’t know,” was the answer. “He
said he was going to the Pewter Mug.”
Mike made for the Pewter Mug by a
short cut and put the Widow Lynch on
the scent. She was to tell applicants he
had been there, but had gone over to
the City Hall. In the same way, he
went to all the leading drinking saloons
and public places, sending all the ac
quaintances he had on the same bootless
eriand, always to find that Mac had gone
to some other drinking place, and thence
to another, and so on ad infinitum.
The whole town was exercised about
M’L aughlin and his mysterious package.
All day Friday it was moderate; but at
length the “sell” was comprehended by
the original victims, who proceeded to
take in all their own circle of acquain
tances. Till after midnight the drink
ing places were thronged by anxious
searches after M’Langhlin. Every one,
on reflection, remembered him —some
could describe him very accurately,
though these descriptions were very di
verse; and some of the seekers went
home quite in liquor to renew the search
the next day.
So they did. and though the Sunday
papers exposed the trick, the excitement
continued during Monday, and only died
out on Tuesday. There was a green
victim or two during the vWnainder of
the week. Mike’s friend paid the bet.
No Home.
No home. What a misfortune! How
sad the thought! There are thousands
who know nothing of the blessed influ
ences of comfortable homes, merely be
cause of a want of thrift, or from dissi
pated habits. Youth spent in frivolous
amusements and demoralizing associa
tions, leaving them at middle age, when
the physical and intellectual man should
be iu its greatest vigor, enervated and
without any laudable ambition. Friends
long since lost, confidence goue, and
nothing to look to in old aee but a mere
toleration in the community where they
should be ornaments. No home to fly
to when wearied with the struggles inci
dent to life; no wife to cheer theigF in
their despondency ; no children to amuse
them, and no virtuous household to give
rest to the joys of life. All is blank,
and there is no hope or succor except
that, which is given out by the band of
private or public charities. When the
family of the industrious and sober citi
zen gather around the cheerful fire of a
wintry day, the homeless man is seeking
a shelter in the cells of a station-house,
or begging for a night’s rest in the out
building of one who started in life at the
same time, with no greater advantages;
but honesty and industry built up their
J home, while dissipation destroyed the
other.
MIBCKULANY.
A Fight with a Storm.
I got first to be mate when quite a
youngish fellow; the owners were told
somehow or other that I’d worked hard
on the last voyage, and they made me
mate of the ship, and gave me a good
silver watch and chain; a watch that went
to the bottom of the sea five years after,
in ame k off the Irish coast, by Wex
ford. when T and six more swam ashore
saving our lives, and thankful for them
For the sea swallows up a wonderful store
of wealth every season; and meant to
have our ship, too, that year I was
made mate, only we escaped it.
It happened like this. We were bound
for Cadiz in a large, handsome, new
brig, having on board a rich cargo ; for
besides a heavy value in gold, we had a
lot of valuable n:V machinery, thad had
been made for the Spanish Government
by one of our large manufactories some
where inland. But besides this, there
was a vast quantity of iron, in long,
heavy cast pillars. A huge weight they
were, and we all shook our heads at
them as they were lowered down into
her hold, for we thought what a fine
cargo they would turn out, if we should
have a heavy passage. We had about
a score of passengers, too, and amongst
them was a fine gentlemanly fellow, go
ing out with his wife, and he was to su
perintend the fitting up of the machin
ery, several other passengers being his
men.
It was anew, well-found vessel, and
fresh in her paint; and with her clean
canvas, and all smart we were rather
proud of that boat. But we’d only just
got beyond the Lizard when it came on
to b ow, juntas it can blow off there in
February, with raid, and snow, and hail;
and we were at last glad to scud before
the gale under bare poles.
Night and day, then, night and day
following one another fast, with the
hatches battened down, and the ship la
boring so that it seemed as if every
minute must be her last. She was too
heavily laden ; and instead of her being
a ship to float out the fiercest storms,
here we were loaded down, so that she
lay rolling and pitching in a way that
her seams began to open, and soon every
hand had to take his turn at the pumps.
The days broke heavy and cloudy,
and the nights came on with the dark
ness awful, and the gale seemed to get
fiercer and fiercer, till at last, worn out,
sailors and passengers gave up, the
pumps were abandoned, and refusing
one and all to stay below, men and wo
men were clustered together, getting
the best shelter they could.
“Id. L*, like to gee a good new shkp
go to the bottom like this,” I shouted
in one of my mate’ ears, and he shouted
back something about iron ; and I nod
ded, for we all know that those great pil
lars down below, were enough to sink
the finest vessel that ever floated.
Just then I saw the skipper go bolow,
while the gentleman who was going out
to superintend, was busy lashing one of
the life-buoys to bis wife.
“That ain’t no good,” I shouted to
him. going up on hands and knees, for
the sea at times was enough to wash
you overboard, as she dipped and rolled
as though she would send her masts over
the side every moment. But I got to
where they were holding on, at last; and
seeing that landsman-like, he know
nothing of knotting and lashing. I
made the life-buoy fast, just as a great
wave leaped over the boughs, and swept
the ship from stem to stern.
As soon as I could get my breath, I
looked around, to find that where the
mate and three passengers were
standing a minute before, was now an
empty space ; while running to the poop
and looking over, there was nothing to
be seen but the fierce rushing waters.
I got back to where those two clung
together, and though feeling selfish, as
most men would, I couldn t help think
ing how sad it would be for a young and
handsome couple like them to be lost,
for I knew well enough, that though she
was lashed to the life-buoy, all that it
would do would be to keep her afloat
tiii she died of cold and exhaustion.
“Can nothing be done?” Mr. Val
lunee—for that was his name —shouted
in my ear.
ell,” I said, shouting again, “if I
was caplin, I should run all risks, and
get some of that iron over the side.”
“Why do!Vt he do it. then?” he ex
claimed ; and of course being nobody
on board that sh!f>, I could only shake
my head.
Just then Mrs. Yallanee turned upon
me such a pitiful look, as she took tight
er hold of her husband —a look that
seemed to say to me: “Oh, save him.
save him 1” And I don’t know how it
was, but feeling that some thing ought
to be done. I crept along once more to
the captain’s cabin, and going down
there, to the dim light, I could see him
sitting on a looker, with a bottle in his
hand, and a horrible, wild, stupid look
on his face, which told me in a moment
that he wasn’t a fit man to have been
trusted with tho lives of forty people in
in a good new ship. Then I stood half
bewildered for a few moments, but di
rectly after I was up on deck, alongside
of Mr. Vallance.
“ Will you stand by me. sir.” I says.
“If I’m took to task for what I do?”
“What are you going to do ?” he
says.
»
“Shy that iron over the side.”
“To the death, my man !”
“Ihen lash her fast where she is,” I
said nodding to Mrs. Vallance; “and
in God’s name, come on.”
I saw the poor thing’s arms so tight
: round his neck, and though I couldn’t
j heai- a word she said. I knew it meant:
“Don’t leave me;” but he just pointed
upward a moment, kissed her tenderly ;
and then, l helping, we made her fast,
and the next minute were along side the
hatches, just over where I knew the
great pillars to lie.
1 knew it was a desperate thing to do,
but was our only chance; and after
swinging round the fore-yard, and rig
giqg up some tackle, the men saw what
was meant, and gave it a bit of cheer.
Then they clustered together, passen
gers and men. while I shouted to Mr.
A allance, offering him choice—to go be
low with another man. to make fast the
rope to the pillars, or to stay on deck.
He chose going below ; and warning
him that we would clap on the hatches
from time to time, to keep out the wa
ter, I got hold of a marlinspike, and
loosened the tarpaulin a little, had one
hatch off, and then stationed two on
each side, to try and koep the opening
covered every time a wave came on
board.
It seemed little better than making a
way in for the sea to send us to the hot-’
tom at once ; but I knew that it was our
only hope, and persevered. Mr. Yal
lance and one of the men went below,
the tackle was lowered, and in less time
than I expected they gave the signal to
haul up. We hauled—the head of the
pillar came above the coamings, went
higlj up, then lowered down till one end
rested on the bulwarks; the rope was
cast off; and then, with a cheer, in spite
of the rolling of the ship, it was sent
over the side to disappear in the boiling
sea.
Another, and another, and another,
weighing full six hundred apiece, we had
over the side, the men working now
fiercely, with something like hope in
their breasts ; and then I roared to them
to hold fast; the tarpaulin was pulled
over, and I for one threw myself upon
it, just as a wave came rolling along,
leaped the bows, and dashed us here and
there.
But wc found to our great joy that
hardly a drop had gone below, the
weight of the water having flattened
down the tarpaulin, so seizing the tackle
once more, we soon had another pillar
over the side, and another, and another
not easily, for it was a hard fight each
time; and more than once men were
nearly crushed to death. It was terri
ble work, too, casting them loose amid
the hurry and strife of the tempest; but
we kept on, till utterly worn out and
panting, we called on Mr. Vallance to
come up, wlmn we once more securely
battened down the hatch and waited for
the morning.
W e agreed amongst ourselves that
the ship did not roll so much; and per
haps she was a little easier, for we had
sent some tons ovtiboard; but the dif
ference was very little; and the morn
ing found us all numbed with cold, and
helpless to a degree. I caught Mr.
Yallanee’s eye,and signalled to him that
we should go on again; but it required all
we could do to get men to work, one and
all saying that it was useless, and only
fighting against our fate.
Seeing that fair words wouldn't do, I
got the tackle ready myself, and then
with the marlinspike in one hand, I
went up to the first poor shivering fel
low I came to, and half-led. half-dragged
him to his place; Mr. Yallanee followed
suit with another; and one way and
another we got them to work again ;
and, though not so quickly as wo did
the day before, we sent over the side
tons and tons of that solid iron—each
pillar on being cut loose darting ever the
bulwark with a crash, and taring no end
of the planking away, but easing the
vessel, so that now we could feel the
difference; and towards night, though
the weather was bad as ever, 1 began to
feel that we might have a chance; for
she seemed to ride over the waves more,
instead of dipping under them, and
shuddering from stem to stern. We’d
been fortunate, too, in keeping the wa
ter from getting into the hold; and one
way and another, what with the feeling
of duty done, and the excitement, things
did not look so black as before; when
all at once a great wave like a green
mountain of water leaped aboard over
the poop, flooded the deck, tore up the
tarpaulin and another hatch, and pour
ed down into the hold, followed by an
other and another ; and as I clung to
one of the masts, blinded and shaking
with the water, I could feel that in those
two minutes all our two day’s work had
been undone.
“God help us !” I groaned for I felt
that I had done wrong in opening the
hatches ; but there was no time for re
pining. Directly the waves had passed
on, rushing out at the sides, where they
had torn away the bulwark. I ran to the
mouth of the hole, for I felt that Mr.
Vallance and the poor fellow with him
must have been drowned.
I shouted—once, twice, and then
there was a groan ; when seizing hold
of the tackle that we hud used to hoist
the pillars. I was lowered and >wn, and be
gan to swim in the rushing water that
was surging from side to side, when I
felt myself clutched by a drowning man,
and holding on to him, we w ere dragged
up together.
But I did not want the despairing
look Mrs. Yallanee gave me to make me
go down again, and this time I seized
the body of Mr. Yallanee ; but there
seemed to be no life in it when we were
hauled up. for the poor fellow did not
move, and it was pitiful to see the way
in which his poor wife elung to him.
Another sea coming on board, it was
all we could do to keep from being car
ried off; and as the water seemed to
leap and plunge down the hatch w ith
a hollow roar, a chill came ov r me
again, colder than that brought on by
the winter weather. I was so worn out
that I could hardly stir; but it seemed
that if I did u r t move rm one else would;
so shouting to one or two to help me, I
crawled forward, and got the hatches on
again, just as another wave wasted over
us; but before the next came with my
marlinspike I had contrived to nail
down the tarpaulin once more, in the
hope that, though water-logged, wc
might float a little longer.
It seemed strange, but after a little
provision had been served round, I be
gan to be hopeful once more, telling my
self, that after all, water was not worse
than iron, and that if we lived to next
day, we might get clear of our new ene
my without taking off. the hatches.
We had hard w ork, though, with Mr.
Vallance, who lay for hours without
seeming to show a sign of life; but
towards morning, from the low sobbing
murmur I heard close by me, and the
gentle tones of a man’s voice. I knew
they must have brought him round.—
You s<*c, I was at the wheel thou, tor it
had come round to my turn, us soon us I
could get relieved, I went and spoke to
them, and found him able to sit up.
As the day began to break, tho wind
seemed to lull a little, and soon .after a
little more, and agaiu a little more, till,
with joyful heart, I told all about me
that the worst was over; and it was so,
for the wind shifted round to the South
and west, and the sea went down fast.
Soon, too, the sun came out; and get
ting a little sail on the ship, 1 began to
steer, as near as I could tell, homewards,
hoping before long to be able to make
out our bearings, which I did soon af
ter. and then got the passengers and
crew once more iu regular spells at the
pumps.
We were terribly full of water; and
as the ship rolled the night before, it
was something awful to hear it rush
from side to side of the hold, threaten
ing every minute to force up the deck;
but now keeping on a regular drain, the
scuppers ran well, and hour by hour we
rose higher and higher, and the ship,
from sailing like a tub, began to answer
her helm easily, and to move through
the water.
It was toward afternoon that, for the
first time, I remembered the captain,
just, too, as he made his appearance on
deck, white-looking, and ill, but not now
very angry and important.
I had just sent some of the men aloft,
and we were making more sail, when, in
a way that there was no need for, he or
dered them down, at the same time say
ing something very unpleasant to me.
Just then I saw Mr. \ allance step for
ward to where the other passengers were
collected, many of them being his own
men; and then, after a few words, they
all came up together to where the cap
tain stood, and Mr. Vallance acted as
spokesman.
“ Captain Johnson,” he said, “ I am
speaking the wishes of the passengers of
this ship, when l request you to go be
low to your cabin, and to stay there uu
til we reach port.”
“Are you mad ?” exclaimed the cap
tain. '
“Not more so than the rest of the
passengers, who, one and all, agree with
me that they have no confidence in } - ou
as captain: and that, moreover they
consider that by your conduct you have
virtually resigned the command of the
ship into 31 r. Jiobinson’s hands.”
“Are 3’ou aware, Mr. Passenger, that
Mr. Robinson is oue of the apprentic
es ?”
“1 am aware, sir, that he has carried
tins vessel through a fearful storm, when
her appointed commander left those
men and women in his charge, to their
fate, while ho, like a coward, went be
low to drown out all knowledge of the
present with drink.”
He raved and stormed, and then call
ed upon the crew to help him: Mr.
Yallanee told them that he would be
answerable to the owners for their con
duct, and not a man stirred. I spoke
to him till he turned angry, and insisted
upon my keeping command, and backed
up at last by both passengers and crew,
who laughed and seemed to enjoy it;
but I must say that, until we cast an
chor iu Yarmouth Roads, they obeyed
me to a man.
8o the}' made the captain keep for
the world like a prisoner to • his cabin
till we entered the Tyne, after being
detained a few days only in Roads,
where it had been necessary to refit,
both of the top-masts being snapped,
and the jib-boom being sprung, borides
our being leaky, though not so bad but
that a couple of hours a day after the
first clearance kept the water under.
Before we had passeed Harwich very
far, we had the beech yalls off one after
another, full of men wanting to board
us, and take us into harbor, so as to
claim salvage. One and all had the
same tale to tell us—that we could nev
er get into port ourselves; and
more than once it almost took force to
keep them from taking possession, for
not content with rendering help when
it is wanted, they are only too ready to
make their help necessary, and have
frightened many a captain before now
into giving up his charge into their
hands. But with Mr. Yallanee at my
back, I stood firm; and somehow' or an
other I did fuel something very much
like pride when I took the brig safely
into port, and listened to the praises of
the owners.
An editor is bothering his head over
the following problem: If 4 dogs with
10 legs can catch SO rabbits with 27, in
14 minutes, how many legs must the
same rabbits have to get away from 8
dogs, with 32 legs, iu 17 minutes and a
half—allowing Hos) days in the year.
Colfax says : “The Republican party
has not lost its hold upon the people '
He meant to have said upon the pock
ets of tho people. —Detroit Fr .-v / V -ws.
Number 2T.
The Josh Biliings Papers.
HORNS
In writing: the biographi ov Wax. i
am astonished tew find so menny of them,
and so entirely different in their pedi
gree and pretenshttns.
"Cope Horn.*' —(’ape Horn iz the Big
gest horn known to man.
It iz u native ov the extreme bottom
ov South Amcrika, aud gores the oshun.
Cape Horn iz hollow, and akts at a
phuunell for the winds, which hurry
thru it in mutch haste, eauzing the wa
ters ov the sea for a grate distance tew
be turn crazy, which frightens the vnr
sells that go by thare, and makes thorn
rare and pitch tremenjus.
Tins horn iz like a sour old hull in
the hi way. and don’t seem tew be ov any
use, only to make folks go out ov their
way tew git round-it. .
“//or* of a dilemma.” —l>i lemma iz
derived from the Siamese "diloss" which
means a a titc spas. aud has a horn on
each end of it. . •
Tharc is no choice in theze two horns;
it yu seize one ov them tho other may
perforate yu, and if yu don't take either,
both m them may pitch intoyu.
I always avoid them if possible, hut
when possibility gives out, mi rule iz tew
shut up both eyt-s. and file both prongs
with my whole grit.
Nine times out of ten this will smash
a dilemma, and it iz always a good fitc
if yu git licked the tenth.
Yu kant argy or reason with the horn
ova dilemma, the only way iz tew ad
vance in and fight for the gross amount.
II Cow's Horn.*’— Two bony projeek
shuns, curved, crooked or strate, worn
by the cows on the apeks of their hods
for ornament in times of peeee, and used
when they go into war to stab with.
Theze horns are a kind ov msily
rcohord.
At three years old a ring appears on
the bottom ov the horn next to the hod,
and each year after, a fresh ring iz born.
In this way the cows kno how old
they are.
Sometimes theze rings fill up the
whole horn, and grow off onto the ad
joining fences in the pasture lot, but this
only happens to very old cows.
I never knu it tew happen in my life
and I don’t think it ever did; it is one
ov them venerable lies that are handed
down from father to son, just to keep the
stock of liea from running out.
» When I waz a boy and had just begun
to chew tobacca, I waa told that butter
cum from cow’s horu—l have siuco
found out that this iz another cussed old
lie.
This lieing tew children iz no evi
dence ov genius, and is sowing the seeds
ov decepshun in a soil too apt bi natur
tow covet what nint undoubtedly so.
' Dinner Il< rn. —This is the oldest
and most sakred horn there iz. It is set
tew musik, and plays “home. Sweet
Home” about noon. It has bin listened
tew, with more rapturous delite, than
even Graffula’s band haz. Yukan hear
it further than one ov Mr. Hodman's
guns. It will arrest a man, and bring
him in quicker than a sheriff’s warrent.
It ken outfoot eny other noize. It kauses
the deaf to hear and the dum to shout
for joy Glorious old instrument! long
may yure lungs last!
44 Ram's Horn” —A spiral root, that
emerges suddenly from the figure bed
ov the maskuline sheep, and ramifies
until it reaches a tip end. Ham’s horns
are alwus a sure sighn of battle. They
are used to butt with, but with out enny
respekt to persons. They will attak a
stun wall, or a deakon, or an established
church. A story iz told ov old deakon
Fletcher ov Konnektikutt State who was
digging post holes in a ram pasture on
his farm, and the moshun ov bis boddy
waz looked upon, by the old rain, who
fed in the lot, az a banter for a site.
Without arrangeing enny terms for
the fight the ram went incontinently for
the deakon, and took him the fust shot,
on the blind side ov his boddy, just
about the meridian.
The blow transposed the deakon sum
eighteen feet, with a lieelsovcr head mo
shun.
Kxhasperated tew a point, at least ten
foot beyond endurance, the deakon
jumped up. andskreamed his whole voice
* * * “you darned—old
cuss,” and then all at once remembering
that he waz a good, piuz deakon. he apol
ogized by saying —“that iz , if / may he.
allowed the cxpresnhun.”
The deakon haz mi entire sympathy
for the remarks made tow the ram.
“ Whiskey Horn." —This horn varys
in length, but from three to six indies
iz the favorite size.
It iz different from other horns, being
of a fluid natur.
It iz really more pugnashus than the
ram’s horn, six inches ov it will knok
a man perfekly calm.
When it knoeks a man down it holds
him thare.
It is cither the principal or the seck
ond in nu*t all the iniquity that iz trav
elling around.
It makes brutes of men, demons ov
wirmnin and vagrants ov children.
It has drawn more tears, broken more
hearts and blited more hopes than all
the other agencys of the devil put to
gether.
A good lady who had two children
sick with the “measles, wrote to a
for a remedy. The friend had just re
ceived a note from another lady, enquir
ing the way to make pickles. She
changed her answers by mistake, and tho
lady who enquired about the pickles, re
ceived the remedy for the measles, and
the anxious mother of the sick children
read with horror:—“Scald them three
or four times in very hot vinegar, and
sprinkle them with salt, and in a lew
days th€iy will b« cured ”