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]> V FREEMAN & BRO.
jTnf (falltonu
Nellie.
BY MARIE 8, LADD.
Ob ! have you seen Nelly,
As fair aa a lily,
With eyes like a pansy,
So thoughtful and sweet ;
Oh! was she so smiiing,
Yoitv whole heart beguiling,
Triumphing thus softly,
Her conquest complete ?
Avoid her, 0, stranger,
For you are in- danger,
For every ranger
That travels this way,
Leaves with an aching,
Sad heart that is breaking,
That Nellie has tossed
Asa pastime, at play. *
Distrust her completely.
Though smiling so sweetly,
With blushes full fleetly
Her face flushing oe’r;
Oli ! Nelly is faithless,
You cannot pass scathless—
If you heed not my warning—
Her beauty before.
—Star Spangled Banner.
MARTHA PHILLIPS.
She was dead. An old woman, with
silvery hair brushed stnoolhly away
ji m her wrinkled forehead, and snowy
cap tied under her chin ; a sad quiet
face, patient mouth w'th lines about it
Y..t told of sorrow borne with gentle
Winners; and two withered, tired
hands, crossed with a restless look.—
That was all.
Who, looking at the sleeping form,
would think of loye and romance, of a
heart only just healed of a wound re
ceived long, long years ago.
Fifty years she had lived under that
ioof, a farmer’s wife. If you look on
that little plate on her coffin lid, you
will see “ Aged 70,” there, she was on>
ly twenty when John Phillips brought
her home a bride.
A half century she had kept watch
over dairy and larder, had made butter
nd cheese, and looked after the innu
leiable duties that fall to the share of
farmer’s wife. And John had never
me with buttonless shirts or undarned
icks; had never come home to an un
dy house and scolding wife. Ilis
rim, tidy Martha had been his pride ;
and though not a demonstrative hus
band, he had boasted sometimes of the
model housewife who kept his house in
order.
But underneath her quiet exterior
there was a story that John never
dreamed of, and would have believed
impossible had he been told. She did
jiot marry her love. When she was
a rosy, happy girl, a stranger
a visit to their village, and that
summer was the brighest and happiest
she ever knew. Paul Gardener was
the stranger’s name; he was an artist,
and fell in love with the simple village
girl and won her heart; and when he
went away in the autumn they were both
betrothed.
“ I’ll come again in the spring,” he
said. “Trust me, and wait for me,
Mattie, dear.”
She promised to love and wait for
him till the end of time, if need be;
and with a kiss on her quivering lips he
went away.
Mattie Gray did not tell her father
and mother of her love, for they had
no liking for London folks, and had
treated Paul none too hospitably when
he had ventured inside their home.
Spring time came, and true to his
word, Paul returned; he stayed only a
day or two this time.
“lam going away in a few weeks to
Italy, to study,” he said, “ I shall be
gone two years, and then I shall come
and claim you for my bride.”
They renewed their vows and parted
with tear* and tender, loving words ; he
put a tiny ring upon her finger ; and
cut a little curly tress from her brown
hair, and telling her always to oe true
and wait for him, he went away.
The months went by, and Mattie was
trying to make the time seem short by
studying to improve herself so that she
might be worthy of her lover, when he
should come back to make her his
wife.
il it must beAbout tinle for him to
Start,” she said to herself one day.
And by and by as she gazed over
a newspaper, her eyes were attracted by
k his name, and with white lips and di
r lated eyes she read of his mairiage to
another.
“ Married ! Taken another bride in
stead of coming back to marry me ! Ob,
lau!j Paul ! I loved and trusted you
too much for this.”
She covered her face with her hands
M d vpt bitterly. An hour afterwards
**• f there in the twilight with the
f*9 she ~r\ fier lap, she heard a
fatal newspaper and looking
step on the gravel wai*., *- U p the
she saw John Phillips coming __
steps.
He had been to see her often before,
but had never yet spoken of love, and
had of course received no encourage*
ment to do so. He was a plain, hard
working farmer, with no romance about
■aim, but matter-of-fact to the core.
His wife would get few caresses or ten
der words. He would be kind enough
—give her plenty to eat and wear —but
that was all.
Now he seemed to have come for the
express purpose of asking her to be his
wife, for he took a chair and seated
himself beside her and after the usual
greeting, reserving scarcely a moment
to take breath, began in his business
like way, t 6 converse. There was no
confession of love, no pleading, no hand
clasping, no tender glances ; ho simply
wanted her; would she be his wife ?
His manner was hearty enough; there
was no doubt he really wanted her —
would rather marry her than any other
woman he knew — but that was all.
Her lips moved to tell him she did
®l)£ Cdljotttt tDcehlj) Citncs.
not love him ; but as she tfct her eves
fall from the crimson-hearted rose that
swung from the vine over the window,
she caught sight of those few lines
again.
“ Married !” she said to herself.—
“ What can Ido ! He doesn’t ask me
to love him. If I marry him I can be
a true wife to him and no body will
know that Paul hast jilted me.”
The decision was made. Her cheeks
were haeypale as she looked straight in
to his eyes and answered, “ Yes, I will
be your wife.”
Her parents were pleased that she
was chosen by so well-to-do a young
man, so it was settled, and they were
married the same summer. People
thought she sobered down wonderfully;
more than that nothing was said that
would lead any one to suppose that any
change taken place.
Yes, she had sobered down. She
dared not think of Paul. There was no
hope ahead. Life was a time to be fill
ed with something, that she might not
think of herself. John was always
kind, but she got so wearied of his talk
of stock and crops, and said to herself,
“ I must work harder, plan and fuss
and bustle about as other women do, so
th 11 may forget and grow like John.
Two years went swiftly by. A baby
slept in the ceadle and Martha —nobody
called her Mattie but Paul—sat rocks
ing with her foot as she knitted a bue
woolen stocking for the baby’s father.
There was a knock at the half open
door.
“ I have got on the wrong road;
you be kind enough to direct me to the
nearest way to the village ?” said a
voice, and a stranger stepped in. She'
rose to give him the required direction,
but stopped short, while he came quick
ly forward.
“ Paul r
“ Mattie !”
His face lighted dp, and he reached
out his arms to draw her to him.—
With a surprised, pained look §be drew
back.
“ Mr. (hardener; this is a most Unex
pected meeting.”
“ Mr. Gardener ?”he repeated “Mat
tie, what do you mean ?”
“DCn’t call me Mattie, if yoti please,”
she replied with dignity. “My name
is Phillips.”
“ Phillips ? he echoed, ‘are you mar
ried.’ ”
“ These are strange words from you,
Paul Gardener. Did you think I was
waiting all this time for another wo
man’s husband ? That I was keeping
my faith with one who played me false
so soon ?”
“ Played you false ! I have not. I
have come as I promised you. The two
yeras are but passed, and lam here to
claim you. Why do you greet me
thus? Are you indeed married, Mattie
Gray ?”
She was trembling like an aspen leaf.
For an answer she pointed to the cra
dle. He came and stood before her with
white face and folded arms.
“ Tell me why you did this ? Didn’t
you love mo well enough to wait for
me?”
She Wefit and unlocked a drawer and
took out a newspaper. Unfolding it
and finding the place, she pointed to it
with her fipger, and he read the marri
age notice.
“ What of this ?’’he asked, as he met
her questioning, reproachful look. —
“Oil, Mattie! you thought it meant
me ! It is my cousin. lam riot mar
ried, nor in love with any one butyour
sdf”
“ Are } T ou telling me the truth ?”
she asked, in an eager, husky voice.
And then he replied, “It is true,”
she gave a low groan and sank down
into a chair.
“ Oh, Paul, forgive me! I didn’t
know you had a cousin by the same
name. I ought not to have doubted you,
but ’twas there in black and white, and
this man, my husband, came, and I
married hfm.”
With bitter tears she told how it hap
pened. With clenched hands he walk-*
ed and fro, then stopped beside the cra
dle and bent over the sleepiug child.—
Lower he bent till his lips touched its
wee forehead, while he murmured to
himself, “ Mattie’s baby.”
Then he turned and kneeling before
her, said, in a low voice, “ I forgive
you, Mattie, be as happy as you can.”
lie took both her hands in his, and
looked steadily, lovingly into her face.
Ilis lips twitched eonvuVively, as he
rose to his feet. I have no right here
—you are anothers man’s wife. Good by
—God bless you.
He turned as he went out of the door,
and saw her standing there in the mid
dle cf the room, with arms outstretch
ed. He went back, and putting his
arms around her, pressed one kiss on
her cheek, then left the house, never
u, ’ng back.
loo*.. went down oil her knees be*
And she # ’ nhy an( i prayed for
side her sleeping , t ‘ ia f T be"
strength to bear her great ' J
never saw each other again.
Seventy years old ! Her stalwart sons
and bright-eyed daughetrs remember
her as a loving, devoted mother, her
grey headed husband as a most faithful
wife.
“ Never was a woman more patient
and kind, and as good a housewife as
ever was,” he said, as he brushed the
back of his old brown hand across his
eyes, while looking down on the peace
ful face.
And not one of them ever knew of
the weary heart and broken hopes that
had died in her breast, nor ever dream
ed of the sad hope she had borne
through life.
-
A gentleman caught cold by kissing
a lady’s snowy brow.
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, JUNE 24. 1874.
Proverbs and Mottoes of Shakspearo.
There is no virtue like necessity.
Courage mounteth with occasion.
He tires betime, that spurs too fact
bet.mes.
Small showers last long, but sudderi
storms are short.
With eager feeding, food doth choke
the feeder.
Though death be poor, it ends a mor.
tal woe.
The ripest fruit falls first.
Out of this nettle danger, we plbck
the flower safety.
No word like “ pardon ” for kings’
mouths so meet.
Tell truth and shame the devil.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a
crown.
A man can die but once, we owe God
a death.
He that dies this year is quiet for the
next.
The first bringer of unwelcome news
hath but a losiug office.
Grief is proud and makes his owner
stoop.
When law can do no right, let it be
lawful that law bar ho wfong.
Oft the sight of means to do ill deeds
makes ill deeds done.
Most any subject is the fattest for
soil to weeds.
Wise hearing or ignorant carriage is
caught, as men take diseases, one of an
other ; therefore let men take heed of
their company.
How ill white hairs become a fool
and jester.
Nick customs curt’sey to great
kings.
If is a great sin to swear unto a
sin, but greater sin to keep a sinful
oath.
The thief doth for each bush an oft
ficer.
The bird that hath been limed in a
bush, with trembling wings misdoubt
eth every bush.
Small herbs have grace, great weeds
grow apace.
Two may keep counsel, putting one
away.
What must be shall be.
He that is robbed, not wanting #iiat
is stolen, let him not know’it, and he’s
not robbed at all.
Rich gifts wax poor when givers
prove unkind.
A knavish speech sleeps in a foolish
ear.
Who covers faults, at last with shame
derides.
You cannot make gross sin? look
clear. *
The Jearned pate ducks to the golden
fool.
W hen beggars die there are no com
ets seen.
Cowards die many times before their
deaths; the valient never taste of death
but once.
Ihe evil that men do, lives after
them, the good is often interred with
their bones.
Some that smile have in their hearts
millions of mischief.
There’s beggary in the love that can
be reckoned.
Every time serves for the matter that
is then born in it.
Some innocents escape not the thun
derbolt.-
’ I is better playing with a lion’s whelp
than with an old dying.
He that will have a cake out of the
wheat, must needs tarry the grinding.
In the reproof of chance lies the
true proof of men.
’Tis mad idolatry to make the service
greater than the God.
The amity that wisdom knits not, fol
ly may easily untie. «
He that is proud eats up himself.
Fear makes devils cherubim?.
To fear the worst oft cures the worst.
To be wise and love exceeds men’s
might.
Perseverance keeps honor bright.
One touch of nature makes the world
kin.
Thank?, to men of noble minds, is
honorable meed.
The raven doth not hatch a lark.
Few love to hear the sins they love
to act.
’Tis time to fear when tyrants seem
to kis-i.
Home-keeping youths have ever home
ly wits.
They do not love that do not show
their love.
Truth hath better deeds than words
to grace it.
Timid is the nurse and breeder of
all good.
Use doth breed a habit in a man.
Sometimes we are devils to ourselves.
There is some soul of goodness in
things evil, would men observing distil
it out.
Anger hath a license.
They laugh that win.— Sanch.
A Confirmed Smoker.— A Sacra
mento gent eman lately saw a little boy
leaning against a post in the eastern por
tion of the city puffing energetically at
a full-grown cigar, and succeeded in
drawiu£ from it quite volume of smoke.
r,n felt such evident interest in the job
he had u^ (Jfctalien tlie citizen ex
cluded to interview him, and according
ly, drawing a cigar u s
went up and asked for a ligu* - a “ e
boy acceded to the request with an aJ
sumption of manly courtesy which he
probably had studied carefully, and
seemed gratified at attracting attention.
Then ensued the following conversation:
“ Well, young man, where do you buy
your cigars?” “ I buy ’em down town;
pay 10 cents apiece for ’em.” “Do yon
buy many at a time ?” “ No, not many;
I buy one at a time most ofcenest.” —
“ Does your father know you smoke ?”
“O. yes.” “ How old are you ?” “Six
years.” “ And how long since you
learned to smoke ?” About five years.
I guess.
Woman Knows One Point More than
the Devil.
A SHORT AND GOOD STORY.
If you want to know how the natural
bridge was buit across the Mynach riv
er in Wales, this is the true story :
Once upon a time an old woman had
a cow that fed on the Crom Toder
mountain, and cime home night an 1
morning to be milked. One evening
she did not Come, and the old lady,much
troubled, went to fetch her When she
came to where the Mynach flows be
tween two high rock?, she saw the cow
on the other side.
Then she set up a loud lamentation,
for she saw she could not come to her,
and she could not go to the cow; for
the river could not be crossed, and it
was a day’s journey to go around.
In this stiait the devil appeared. “So
you’ve lost your cow ,old lady, have you ?
Never mind, I’ll build you a bridge and
you shall go fetch her.”
“ Thankee kindly, sir ; I’ll be much
obliged to you if you will,” and she
curtsied low, and with great humility.
“To be sure I will,” and he cast a
look at her out of the corner of his eye
“ But the cow is worth something—l
must have toll—keep that dog quiet,
won’t you ?” for the old woman had a
cur dog that kept ou growling and
grumbling.
“ Harkee, old lady, if I build the
bridge, I’ll have the first that crosses it.
Is it a bargain ?”
She was sorely troubled. If she went
over for the cow, she knew that she had
sold herself to the devil, and if the cow
came to her she lost the cow.
“ Bridge or no bridge ?” asked the
devil.
“Build the bridg-e, sir if you please,”
said the old lady.
“Ay, ay,” said the devil, “ it’s very
easy to say build the bridge, but do yotl
agree to the toll ?”
“Yes;’ sure, sir,” replied the woman.
With that the devil put both His fore
fingers to his mouth, and gave a hrill
whistle ; and there was the bridge, sure
enough, and the devil sitting on the mid
dle of it, smiling away like clock-work,
rocking himself to and fro, and switch
ing his tail with great satisfaction.
The old woman shook like an aspen
leaf, but she took a crust of bread from
her pocket, and showing it to the dog,
she threw it over the bridge, and going
after it the dog passed the devil where
he sat ia the middle.
“Whip that dog!” said the devil, for
he was cut to the at being out”
witted by the old woman ; but he did
not want the dog and he did not liy to
stop him, amUthe bridge was crossed
and the spell broken, lie was morti..
fied and angry, but, being a gentleman,
he arose and doffed his cap to the old
lady— for the keen respect the keen —
and having done so, he hung his tail,
much humbled, and walked away.
And the old chronicler who records
this fact comments thus on the incident:
“It must be acknowledged that Satan
behaved very honorable and kept his
word— which is more than men always
dor
Mother Speak Kindly.
Children catch cross tones quicker
than parrots, and they often become per
manent habits in them. When moth
ers set the example, you will scarcely
hear a pleasant word among the chil
dren in their plays with each other. —
Yet the discipline of such a family is
weak and irregular. The children ex
pect just so much scolding before they
do anything they are bid, while in many
a home where the low, firm tone of the
mother, or the decided look of her
steady eye, is law 7 , they always think of
obedience, either in or out of sight.—
Oh, mother! it is worth a great deal to
cultivate that excellent thing in woman,
a low, sweet voice. If you are ever so
much tried by the mischievous or wil
ful pranks of the little ones, speak low.
It will be a great help to you to even
try to be patient and cheerful, if you
cannot succeed. Anger makes you
wretched, and your children also. Im
patient, angry tones never did the heart
good, but plenty of evil. You cannot
have the excuse for them that they
lighten your burdens at all; they make
them only ten pounds heavier. For
your own as well as your children’s
sake, learn to speak low. They will re
member that tone when your head is
under the turf. So too, will they re
member the harsh and angry tone. —
Which legacy will you leave to your
children.
The Disgraceful Goat.
There is an old goat owned on Lewis
street which has received a great deal
of training from the boys.
Last Fourth of July they discover
ed that if they stuck a fire cracker in
the end of a cane and held it at Wil
liam, he would lower his head and go
for them, and they have practiced the
trick so much that the goat will tackle
any human being who points a stick at
him. Yesterday noon he was loafing
near the corner of Third and Lewis
streets, when a corpulent citizen came
up and stopped to talk with a friend.
They happened to speak of the side
walk, when the corpulent citizen point
ed his cane to the left of the goat and
said, “ That’s the worst piece of side
wa;y io this town.” The goat had been
eyeing x'u n cane, fcl,e moment lt
came up he louced , h .' s , bea f maa , e s ‘ x
or eight jumps, and nio head struck the
corpulent citizen just ou the b e * fc Ihe
man went over into a mass of ola * in >
dilapidated butter-kega and abandoned
hoop skirts, and the goat turned a som
mersault the other way, while the slim
citizen threw stones at a boy seated on
a doorstep who was laughing tears as
big as chestnuts and crying out: “Oh 1
it’s nuff to kill a feller ! -Detroit dree
Dress.
iuswer to Correspondent*:
Johnnie wants to kn<?w the safest
way to learn to swim. Fill a pint ba
sin with water, set it in the woodshed,
and tie a rope around you Do not
try to stay under water too long at
first.
Oscar says he is deeply in love with
a nice girl, but can’t find words to pop
the question. Write what you want to
say on a shingle and shove it under the
kitchen door.
Small Boy—No, Johnnie, a red nose
is not always a sign that the owner loves
gin ; he may prefer whisky or bran
dy.
“ Old Man ” says he can’t keep a
dog around the house on account of his
wife’s temper, aud wants to know
whether he had better jump down a
well or hang himself in the barn.—
J here’s nothing like firmness. Sit
down in the house, group your dog
around you, and sit it out, if it takes
all summer. As soon as your wife
understands that she can’t bluff that
dog, she’ll be all right.
“ Grandfather”—We can sympathize
with you. We know how hard it is to
sit down on a tack and not feel able to
boot-jack the boy who placed it there,
but these things will all be corrected iu
the other world. Try and get along
for a few more years somehow You
might give the boy a dose of arsenic, as
you propose, but the chances are that it
wouldn’t finish him, and you’d be ten
cents out of pocket.
Sweet Sixteen—ies, we know it is
very provoking to have the old man
come into the parlor at midnight and
take your beau by the Deck and suspen
ders, and earry him out and drop him
on the walk. It always makes us hop
ping mad to hear of Such a case, and
the only way you can have revenge on
the old man is to hang yourselves and
leave a note behind saying that hIS
blind obstinacy drove you to an early
tomb. It’ll cut him up dreadfully, and
he’ll allow your next oldest sister to sit
up with a young man from early twi
light to noon the next day if she wants
to, aud then offer to pay the lover’s
hack hire home.
Bricks wants to know why the Amer
ican people don’t eat each other the
same as the tribes of Africa. We real
ly can’t say ; they ought to do so, but
they are.mulish ; about it. As soon as
we get lime wis Shall write a pamphlet
urging this sort of diet upon the atten
tion of invalids who are troubled to find
food that they can relish.
Harry says that he was at a ball and
asked a young lady to dance with him,
whereupon her beau knocked him down
He wants to know what we’d do about
it. We’d get up.
Kentucky Home says that his wife
has left him and applied for,a divorce,
just because he threw the coffee-pot at
the cat and hit his dear partner on the
head Let her go. A woman as sen
sitive as that would object to hoeing
corn, splitting wood, building fires, and
foddeoing the cattle, and if you got her
back you’d always have trouble with
her.
Inquirer Wants to know the best way
to estimate the weight of a sawlog.—
Lift it.
Unbeliever desires to know if black
eyes are always the sign of high temp
er. Not always ; they are sometimes
a Sign that you told a fellow he lied.
How Hot Iron May Be^Handlcd.
About the year 1809, one Lionelte, a
Spaniard, astonished not only the igno
rant, but chemists and other men of sci
ence, by the impunity with which he
handled red-hot iron and molten lead,
drank boiling oil, and performed other
feats equally miraculous. While he
was at Naples he attracted the attention
of Professor Sementem; who narrowly
watched all his operations and endeav
ored to discover his secret. Semcntem’s
efforts, after performing several experi-
pen Limself, were finally crown
ed v. ith success. He found that by fric
tion With sulphtHic acid, diluted with
water, the skin might be made insensi
ble to the action of the heat of red-hot
iron ; a solution of alum, evaporated un
til it became spongy, appeared to be
still more effectual. After having rub
bed the parts which were rendered, in
some degree, incombustible with hard
soap, discovered on the application of
hot iron, that their insensibility wa9 in
creased. He then determined on again
rubbing the parts with Soap, ahd after
this found that not only occasioned no
pain, but that it actually did not burn
the hair. thus far satisfied; the
professor applied hard soap’ to his tongue
until it became insensible to the heat of
the iron; and after having placed an
ointment composed of soap mixed with
a solution of alum upon it, boiling oil
did not burn it. While the oil remain
ed on the tongue a slight biasing was
heard, similar to that of hot iron when
thrust into water ; the oil soon cooled,
and was then swallowed without danger
Several scientific men have since suc
cessfully repeated the experiment of
Professor Sementem.
If a’ tallow candle be placed in a gun
and shot at a door, the candle will go
through without sustaining aDy injury
and if a musket ball be fired into water,
it will not only rebound but be flat
tened as if fired against a solid sub
stance. A ball may be fired through a
pane of glass, making the hole the size
of the ball, without cracking the glass;
if suspended by a thread, it will make
no difference, and the thread will not
even vibrate. Cork if sunk two hun
dred feet in the oceaD, will not rise, on
account of the pressure of water. In
the Arcu c regions, when the thermom
eter is below zero, persons can converse
more than a mile distant. Dr. Jami
son asserts that ho beard every word of
a seaman the distance of twq
Child’s Pocket Etiquette.
Always say yes, sir; no, sir; yes.
papa ; no, thank you ; good night, good
morning. Never say how, which or
what. Use no slang terms. Remember
that good spelling, writing and gram
mar are the base of all true education
Clean faces, clean clothes, clerio shoes
and clean finger nails indicate good
breeding. Never leave your clothes
about the rooms. Have a place for ev
erything and everything in its place.
Bap before entering a room. Leave
with your back to the Company Never
enter a private room or public place with
your hat on.
Always offer your seal to a lady or an
old gentleman. Let your companions
enter the carriage or loom first.
At the table eat with y ; *r fork ! sit
up straight; never use toothpicks, a*
though Eoropeans do, and when leaving
ask to be excused.
Never put your feet on cushions,
chairs or tables.
Never overlook any one when read
ing or writing, or talk or read loud when
others are reading. When conversing:
listen attentively and do not interrupt
or reply till the other has finisned.
Never whisper or talk aloud at church
or other public places, and especially in
private, where any oue is singing, or
playing the piano.
Long coughing, hawking, yawning,
sneezing or blowing, is ill mannered.—
In every case cover your mouth with
your handkerchief, which nevef exam
ine— nothing is more vulgar except
spitting on the floor.
Treat all with respeett especially the
poor. Be careful to injure no one’s
feelings by unkind words. Never tell
tales, make faces, call names, ridicule
the lame, mimic the unfortunate, or be
cruel to insects, birds or auimals.
The Way to Work:
“ I’ll master It,” said the aie, rihd his
blows fell heavily on the iron ; but cv*
ery blow made his edge more blunt, till
it ceased to strike.
“ Leave it to me,” said the saw ; and
with bis relentless teeth he worked back
ward and forward on its surface til! they
are all worn down or broken; then he
fell aside.
“Ha! ha !” said the hammer, “ I
knew you wotildh’t succeed;.l’ll show
you the way ;” bht at his first fierce
stroke off flew his head, and the iron
remained as before.
“ Shall I try ?” asked a soft, small
flame. But they all despised the flame;
but he curved gently round the iron,
and embraced it, and never left it
until it melted under his irreaistable in
fluence.
There are hearts hard enough to re
sist the force of wrath, the malice of
persecution, and the fury of pride, sors
to make their acts recoil oq their adver
saries; but there is a power stronger
than any of these, and hard indeed is
that heart that cun resist love.
Shabby Treatment. —A parish in
the kingdom of Fife had for a minister
a good man, remarkable for his benevo
lent disposition. Meeting one of his
parishioners one day he said, “ Jennie,
what way do I never see you in the
kirk ?” “ Weel, sir,” said Jennie, “to
be plain wi’ ye, I haena a pair o’ shoon
to gang wi’.” “ A pair*’ shoon, Jen
nie ! 111 no let you stay a’ harne for
that ; what would a pair cost ?” “Four
shillings, sir.” Putting his hand into
his pocket, he gave Jennie the money,
and went his way. Some time after,
meeting her again, he said, “ Dear me,
Jennie, I’ve never seen ye in the kirk
yet; what way is that? “ Well, sir,”
said Jennie, “ to he plain wi’ ye, when
the weather’s guid, and I hee time, I
prefer guan to Dunfailin’ to hear ?Ir.
Gillespie.” “Ch, indeed, Jennie, lass,
that s the way o’t, is it ? You might hae
gi’eu me the first day o’ the shoon ony
way, d’ye no think ?”
Saloon Signs. —No one hears in
this country of an ale-honse, or a por
ter-house, a gin shop, a dram shop, but
only of restaurants, offices, saloons, sam
ple-rooms, &o. It would &e half the
battle if we cotfld compel the liquor
sellers to put up truthful signs; if
where there are license laws to have in
large letters on the front of the house
“ Licensed Liquor Store,” or “ Licensed
td Sell Intoxicating Liquors!” Why
not ? It would be simply the statement
of the truth as when in Some Staites we
see signs “ Licensed to Sell Gunpow
der.” And it were no more than the
truth could the liquor dealer be made
to see whenever he looked up to his
sign one such announcement as “ Tip
ling Hall,” Drunkard’s Resort,” or
“ Gateway to Hell.”— Religious Ex
change.
The old proverb : “ Make hay while
th* stin shines,” said old farmer Kent
to Johnny Sanders, whilst whetting his
scythe. This is an old proverb; it
means that we should be dilligent and
earnest in improving present opportuni
ties. The farmer who. on some fair
aay, when the grass was just ready to be
cut down, should postpone his work un
til to-morrow clouded with storms, and
so his hopes disappointed. Nothing is
a more dangerous foe to success than
procrastination. He who is disposed to
put off till a future day the work which
should be done dow is preparing him
self defeat and morlification. Present
opportunities, if neglected, may never
return.
A rural exhibitor says he has en
larged his establishment, and now keeps
a head of oxen, a head of hen, and sev
eral head of cabbage, while lie is en
deavoring to keep ahead of the times
Air of imporrauce—A person’s first
breath.
VOLUME IV. —NO. 47.
FUN ITEMS.
• Motto for the whaleman—lie try."
Engaged for the next jet—Hens.
Lot’s wife got into a pretty pickle.
A voice from the grave—The tombs
tone.
j
Aids to temperance—Crusade and
lemonade.
Capital letters— Those containing re
mittances.
The moon that is made of greei.'
cheese—The honeymoon.
The best seats in the theatres are ap
propriated by the managers. They are
the re ccipts.
The reported rise in Havana cigars
will probably eud in smoke.
u Hoc tor, what will cure the fever of
love?’ “ The chill of wedlock, mad*
euioisell.”
“ We all owe Something to our couiit «
tty.” said the firitun who went abroad
without having paid his income tax.
A minister walked six miles to marry
a couple lately. Ho said he felt sort of
fee-bill like. The groom saw it,
“We fin!),’’ tellingly remarks an In
dianapolis editor, “tyvt Me caN Gaj oxt
owr pepar wijhauc t-ha a|dof af ony of
thasa bosky Umun oombosutoru.”
If a railroad train that is run into by
another is telescoped, a man who is ruu
into by a wild young ox must he store
scoped.
A young man of this city thinks that
Haruitm is going to have him in his
“ Congress of Moharfchs;” because his
name is A. Queen.
One who knoWs hdw it is herself, ‘
says: “The man who is awfully urbane
to bis wife before strangers is also her
bane behind their backs.”
A West Troy policeman resigned be
cause he couldn’t get permission to at -
tend a dog fight and bet on the winning
pup. Americans never will be slaves.
A New "¥ork professor is lecturing on
the cultivation of the ear, hut he does
hot say when is the best time to pull it.
The greatest magicians of the age are
paper-makers. They transform the beg
gar’s rags into sheets for editors to lie
on.
It is difficult to explain intelligibly
the process by which snow is formed,
but any one can seo ol the
thing.
There is a prejudice in human kind
Against long ears. As the poet says :
“Man wants but little ear below, nor
wants that long.”
Nothing better illustrates the down
hill tendency of American youths than
the fact that one company at Montpelier
sold 11,000 sleds for children last win
ter.
Gentlemanly hotel clerks are prac
ticing on the
for the benefit of summer guests who
object to climbing five long flights of
stairs to their rooms.
“ Mamma why are orphans the hap
piest children on earth ?” “ Why, my
child, they arc not. What makes you
think they are ?” “ Because they have
no parents to whip ’em.”
The Maine Press says : “Two medi
cal societies met in this city yesterday.
A car load of gravestones also arrived
during the day. It is not often that the
eternal fitness of things sticks out in
this manner.”
At a recent meeting of a society com
posed of men from the Emerald Isle, £
member made the following motion:
li Mr. President, 1 move yees that we
whitewash the ceiling green in honor of
the owld flag/'
A young man at Kenosha bet two
dollars that he could take a certain man’s
nose between his thumb and finger.—
Although the said certain man was and
church deacon, the young man’s doctor
bill Wag fourteen dollars.
A gentleman of Louisville had a dog
—a pointer. The dog ran up the steps
of a house and refused to como dowtt.
His master followed him and found “ A
Partridge ”on the door plate. This il
lustrates the force of Instinct.
The Providence Press tells of a mar
ried couple who were passing a jewelry
store the other day. Her attention was
attracted by a “ perfectly levely ” pair
of ear-rings. She said : ‘*Oh, Ned, go
buy ’em !” And Ned went by ’em.
Two fellows at South Haven, Mich.,
rivals for a young lady’s hand, agreed
to go out and fire at a mark—the one'
having the steadiest nerves and «o t able
to make the best shot, was to have the
girl. They went, and fired, and when
they got back they learned that she
would not have either of them.
A Dublin gentleman, in speaking, of
a nobleman's wife of great rank and
fortune, lamented very much that she
had no children. A South of Ireland
medical gentleman who was present ob
served that to have no children was a
great misfortune, but he thought he had
remarked it was “ hereditary ” in some
families.
While manipulating the windlass of
a well, the other Dight, a party who had
been laying in a supply of whisky be
fore it was all seized bv the police, let
the handle slip when the bucket was
half way up. and naturally enough re
ceived a chuck under the chin that
knocked him over a neighboring fence.
“Sold again,” he muttered, as he
climbed to his feet, “ might anode—hie
better than to —hie —go foolin’ roun’
so much water. Petehcr your hoots I’ll ;
stick t’ whisky af/ir this.”