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CALHOUN WEEKLY TIMES.
BV P. B. FWEEMAN.
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lic interest solicited.
A (Jem.
I sit by the brooklet,
Under tho willow,
Watching the bubbles,
Drift by on the billow.
That stream is my life,
My hopes are the bubbles,
Drifting and breaking,
In fountains of troubles.
Minutes >•' G*e North Western Georgia
Musical Convention.
Harmony Church, )
h(?RT)ON County, Ga., Aug. 6,1874. }
The Convention met according to ad
journment, and was called to order by
)oah Lewis, Secretary. After the sing
ing of “ Boyleston ” and prayer by El-
A. Mims, the Convention was
declared open and ready for business.
Elder J A Mims was elected Chair
man pro tern.
Elder J A Mims was elected com-,
inittec of the whole until our perma
nent organization.
Ist, Lesson of 20 minutes led by Jo
ab Lewis.
2d, Lesson of 20 minutes led by
Prof. William Walker.
I, On motion, the convention adjourned
* until 1 o’clock p. M.
1 o’clock, t\ m.—Tho convention was
called to order by the Chairman pro
tern.
Ist. A piece of music by Professor
Walker#*
2d, Business'Session.
3d, Went into an election of offi
cers.
4th, Suspended tho regular order of
electing the President and Vice Presi
dent by ballot. Then tho body passed
a resolution to elect by acclamation.—
The names.of Prof. Walker and Elder
J. A. Mims we re suggested, and upon
motion, they were unanimously elected—
Prof. Walker President and Elder J.
A Mims Vice President.
Letters and delegates from different
societies were called for and responded
to as follows:
Cedar Creek Singing Society, dele
gates —John W Denning, V 31 Bartow,
0 W Hays and A Ayecock. Alter
nates—D E Mostellar, Missouri Gray,
_ and Fannie Scott Post office, Adairs
|villc.
Harmony Church Singing Society,
delegates—John Bolding, P H Cono
way, Misses V Bolding and A E Cur
tis. Post office, Calhoun.
Coosawatteo Singing Society, dele
gates—Leandor Harkins and Miss
Mary Montgomery. Post office, Cal
houn.
On motion the body agreed to re
ceive delegates from Bethlehem Sing
ing Society without letters. Delegates,
Joab Lewis, William Dover.
Lessons were led by J A Field, J A
Bradley and Joab Lewis, 15 minutes
each. Then two pieces by the Presi
dent, after which the body was dis
missed with prayer by the President,
until o’clock Friday morning.
O’Clock, Friday Morning.—
t ouviw.„„ n^i] e( j or d cr by the Pres
ident. After reading 33a Poaltu anrl
singing a hymn prayer was offered by
the Vice President. On motion, the
electing of a Secretary was deferred un
til noxt business session.
The President appointed as arrang
ing committee Elder J A Mims, L S
Kinneman and P H Conoway.
Lessons of music were led 15 min
utes each by J L Quin, J W Denning,
and John Watson.
Business session 20 minutes.
Leaders o*' music were called for and
the following responded : P Floyd, W
A Rainey, J A Bradley, L S Kinne
man, F M Bolding, J L Quin, J K
Gilreath, J >Y Denning, John Fields,
Joab Lewis.
Unity Singing Society, delegates—P
Floyd, E A Floyd, Misses Maggie
Floyd and M3l Black. Post office,
Plainville.
Concord Singing Society, delegates—
W M Rainey, A N Keown, Misses 31
M Price and 31ollie Rainey, Post office,
illanow, Walker Cos.
On motion, the body went into an
Section for Secretary. Joab Lewis
elected.
Corresponding delegates from other
inventions called, and received a let-'
• 0r from Etowah Musical Convention
aD( I delegates J K Gilreath, S Disba
r Misses S C Adair and E F King.
Received a letter from Crow's Springs
ringing Society, and delegates S Disli
aroon > William Gaines, and Miss Flor
l!l^a Hendricks. Post office, Cassville.
hartow Cos.
I invention adjourned *one hour for
dinner.
H o’clock, p. m. —The convention
as Ca llod to order by the President.
' lor ministers of the Gospel and
fliers of music. None responed.—
_ J ltd for letters and delegates from
f l] Cr ° nt oc * e^eB. Responded to as
'hsada Singing Society, delegates
VOL. V.
William Adams, James Stone
Misses Susan Jolly and Kate Miles.—
Alternates—Robert Jolly and 3lary
31iles.
Liberty Singing Society, delegates—
I E Wofford, William Smith. Misses F
31 Smith and Fannie 3litchell. Alter
nates—A J Robertson and Caroline
Adams. Post office, Faiimount.
New Hope Singing Society, delegates
—J G Shaw, J A Price, Misses Mollie
Shaw and 31 attic Putman. Post office,
Adairsville. Leaders of3lusic—CC
Baugh, I E Wofford, and James
Stone.
Lessons were led 15 minutes each
by I E Wofford, James Stone and Jo
ab Lewis.
Recess of 15 minutes. Called for
leaders of music and the following re
sponded : E R Hamilton and D N
Price.
Lesson and lecture by the President
1 hour.
On motion, the convention adjourned
until 9 o’clock Saturday morning, and
was dismissed after prayer by Bro. J A
Bradley.
9 O’Clock, Saturday 3lorning.
The Convention was called to order by
the President, after reading the 1 LBth
Psalm and singing a hymn the conven
tion was opened with prayer by the
President.
Called for ministers of the Gospel
and teachers of music and responded :
S. G. Johnson.
Called for letters and delegates from
other singing societies.
Resaca hinging Society, delegates—S
S Cox, Z O Fricks, 31isses 3iollie Roe
and Sallie Sampler. Post office, Re
saca.
Sugar Valley Singing Society, dele
gates —J O 31alone, J G Chapelin
31isses J A Miller and A J Davis.
John’s Creek Singing Society, dele
gates—R A Barnett, 31 J House,
3Jisses Nannie 3lorris and Fannie Ev
crct. Alternates—J It House, William
31orris, 31isses Euphronia and Fannie
Everet. Post office, Calhoun.
Union Singing Society, delegates—J
H Coley, P C Smith, 31isscs MolUe
Coley and Lizzie .Smith. Post office
Calhoun.
Lessons were led 15 minutes each by
W3l Smith, E R Hamilton, D N
Price and S G- Johnson.
Recess of 15 minutes.
The President called the convention
to order and led two pieces of music.
A committee on order was appointed
as follows: W J Hall, William Holsen
baek, J H Fox, John Curtis, James
Curtis, Abel Burch, Thomas Curtis and
A. W Reeve.
Lessons were led 15 minutes each
by J Ti Gilreath and J A Coley.
Prof. J T Edmonds delivered an ad
dress in behalf of the Southern Nor
mal Institute.
Recess 1 hour for dinner.
1£ O’Clock p. M. —The Convention
was called to order by tho President,
led one piece of music. Then
lessons were led IS minutes each by
Aaron Kinneman, B F Bolding and
Prof. Walker.
Recess of 20 minutes.
Convention called to order by the
President.
Business Session of 20 minutes.
A letter from John’s Creek Singing
Society soliciting the holding of the
next convention at 3lount Pleasant
Church, having been read : on motion,
the body agreed to meet with that So
ciety on Thursday before the 2d Sab
bath in August, 1875.
On motion, it was agreed that 400
copies of the minutes of this conven
tion be printed.
Called for letters and leaders from
other societies. The following respond
ed :
Pine Grove Singing Society, dele
gates —A B Fricks, S T Eskew, 31isses
31 J Fricks and 31 J Eskew. Post of
fice, Sugar Valley.
Called for ministers of the Gospel and
teachers of music. The following re
sponded : II C Hendricks, 31 G and S R
Talley, and J R Bagswell. Teachers
and delegates from Ridge Valley Sing
ing School —John Ward, Benjamin
Penn, Taylor 3lostellar.
Lessons of music were led 15 min
utes each by T W Bennington and S T
Eskew.
On motion, the thanks of the conven
tion were tendered to members of Har
mony Church for the use of their house
of worship, and to the citizens of this
community for hospitalities.
One piece of music led by the Presi
dent. The Convention then adjourned
until 9 o’clock Sunday morning, after
prayer by the Vice President.
9 O’CLOCK Sunday Morning.—
The convention was called to order by
the President. After reading the 104th
Psalm and singing a hymn, prayer was
offered by Elder H C Hendricks.
CALHOUN, GA., WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 2, 1874.
Lessons of muaio were led 15 min
utes each by E R Hamilton, J A Brad
ley and J K Gilreath.
Recess of 15 minutes.
At 11 o’clock Elder Wra A Walker
preached a very inteicstingsermon from
92d Psalm, 13th and 14th verses
Prayer was offered by Elder Hendricks.
Then the audience was dismissed for
dinner.
1 0 Clock P. m. —Tho convention “was
called to order by tho President. Presi
dent led one piece of music.° Then a
lesson was led 15 minutes by 8 R
Talley. ° “
Prof. J T Edmonds delivered a brief
address, 1 after which the convention ad
journed to Tneet on Thursday before
second jSunday in August, 1875, with
the John’s o Creek Singing Society, at
3lount Pleasant* (Jhu o rch, 10 miles west
of Calhoun, Ga.
William Walker, Pres’T.
J. A. Mims, Vice Pres’t.
Joab Lewis, Sec’y.
My Neighbor's Dog,
That humorous writer, 31. Quad, pub
lishes the following under the head °of
My Neighbor’s Dog
31y neighbor keeps a dog—my near
est neighbor. Other neighbors keep
other dogs, but it is this neighbor and
this dog I speak of. The neighbor is
all right—kind-hearted, votes my tick
et, and his wife borrows tea and cpffee
of my wife, but his dog is gradually
killing me. During the day, when I
am down town, the beast sports around
like an innocent lamb, or lies in the
shade and sleeps and dreams. But, as
soon as I retire to bed, that dog com
mences operations. My neighbor and
his wife -are old and deaf, and they
have no idea of what their dog does.
I make it a rule to go to bed precise
ly at nine o’clock, unless the President
of the United States, or some of his
cabinet officers, are stopping at my
house. At just five minutes after nine-,
when he knows that I have got the
sheet over me, that canine sits down in
front of my gate. He wriggles and
twists until Le gets firmly imbedded
in position, and then ha opens his
mouth, sucks ia a long breath and
yells :
“ Oh ! boo ! boo ! hoo !”
It fetches mo on end in an in
stant. There is such a graveyard shriek
to his voice that my hair stands up for
a moment, and I think of ghosts ram
bling through deserted halls. In about
thirty seconds tho canine opens his
mouth again : *
“ Oh ! whoop ! hoo ! hoo ! hoo !”
At this I get out out of bed, seize a
stick of wood and open the dcor to
mash him. He calmly gazes at me
while I draw back to throw, and when
the stick strikes tho ground a rod to
the left of him, he utters a quiet chuc
kle. However, when he sees more
wood coming, he saunters off in a care
less manner, and I go back to bed,
hoping for psace. In about fifteen min
utes that brute comes through a hole
in the fence, plants himself under the
bedroom window, and getting all ready,
he howls :
“ Ha ! hoo ! whoop ! General Jack
son is dead !”
I throw up my window and shout at
him to get out, go home, vanish, dry
up, but he sits there and calmly con
templates my night cap until I begin to
shoot at him with the revolver. Then
he walks around the corner of the
house and stands there, knowing that
no revolver can shoot on a ciicle. My
wife begins to interfere about this time,
and I haul in the revolver, close the
window, and swear by the horn spoon
that not another sun shall ever set on
that dog in life. At midnight he howls
again—at one —three —five, and then
he returns home with a consciousness of
having done his duty. I have thrown
him poisoned moat, paid boys to lay for
him, and wasted cords of wood and
pounds of powder myself ; but he grows
fat, and his bowl grows worse. I spoke
to my neighbor, but he replied that “ it
was hard times for money,” and I got
discouraged. 31 y wife says, “ Patience,
dear but I won’t have patience—no,
bang me if I will ! It is now half-past
eight o’clock, and between this and
eleven I will be a dead man, or I will
hurt that dog into eternity.
Ferny Fishing.
The late Chancellor Bibb, in the in
tervals of his pressing professional du
ties, was accustomed to gratify his great
fondness for fishing. While residing
in Washington he used to go to the
East Branch, near the United States
Navy Yard to enjoy his sport. One
fine afternoon the Superintendent of
the Navy Yard saw the Judge sitting
very still for hour3 on the bank, and
thought he would give him a call, lie
asked the Judge, “ What luck ?”
“ Not much yet. I had, or thought
I had, a nibble about two hours ago,
but since that I have felt nothing.”
“ What do you bait with ?”
“ With a small, live frog, with the
hook through the fleshy part of the
thigh.”
At this moment the Superintendent
began to laugh, and unable to control
himself or explain, he rolled on the
grass and roared, much to the astonish
ment and chagrin of his friend the
Chancellor. lie finally could so far
command himself as to point to a log
that lay in the water -some distance
from the shore, and there the Chancel
lor saw his “bait ” patiently silting on
the log in the sun, with the hook and
line attached to his thigh. And the
Judge joined in tne laugh.
Keep Ammonia in Hie House.
No housekeeper should be without a
bottle of spirits of ammonia, for borides
its medical value, it is invaluable for
household purposes. It is neatly as
useful as soap, and its cheapness brings
it within reach of all. Put a teaspoon
ful of ammonia to a quart of warm
soap suds, dip in a flannel cloth, and
wipe off the dust and fly specks, and
see for yourself how much labor it will
save. No scrubbing will be needful, —
It will cleanse and brighten silver won
derfully ; to a pint of suds mix a tea
spoonful of spirits, dip in your silver
spoons, forks, &c., rub with a brush and
.polish with chamois skin.
For washing mirrors and windows it
ia very desirable ; put a few drops of
ammonia on a piece of paper and it will
readily take off every spot or finger
mark on the glass. It will take out
grease spots from every fabric; put on
the ammonia nearly clear, lay blotting
paper over the place and press a flat hot
iron on it for a lew moments. -A few
drops in water will clean laces and whi
ten them as well, also muslins. Then
it is a most re esbing agent at the
toilet table ; a few drops in a basin of
water will make a better bath than pure
“Water, and if the skin is oily, it wiji
remove all glossiness and disagreeable
odors. Added to a foot bath it entire
ly absorbs all noxious smell, so often
arising from the feet in warm weather,
nothing is better for cleaning tlie hair
from dandruff and dust.
For cleaning hair and nail brushes it
is equally good. Put a teaspoonful of
ammonia into one pint of water, and
shake the brushes through th 9 water. —
When they look white rinse them in
water and put them in the sunshine, or
in a warm place (o dry. The dirtiest
brushes will come out of this bath
white and clean. For medical purposes
it is unrivaled. For the headache it is
a desirable stimulant, a frequent inhail
ing of its pungent odors will often en
tirely remove catarrhal colds. There is
no better remedy for heartburn and
dyspepsia, and the aromatic spirits of
ammonia is especially prepared for these
troubles. Ten drops of it in a wine
glass are of: en a great relief. The spir
its of ammonia can be taken in the
ssme wayf but it is not as palatable.
In addition to all these uses, the ef
fect of ammonia on vegetation is bene
ficial. Tf you desire roses, geraniums,
fuchsias, etc., to become more flourish
ing, you can try it upon them by ad
ding five or six drops to every pint of
warm wale you give them, but don’t
repent the done oft oner than five or six
days, lest you stimulate them to., high
ly. So be sure to keep a large bottle
of it in the house, and have a glass
stopper for it, as it is very evanescent
and also injurious to corks.— Exchange.
Hie Name “ Smi-h.”
“ Gentlemen,'’ raid ;> < ndidate for
Congress, “ my name is Smith, and I
am proud to say that I am not ashamed
of it. It may be that no person in this
crowd owns that every uncommon name.
If, however, there be one such, let him
hold up his head, pull up his ears,
turn out his toes, tako courage, and
thank his stars that there are a few
more left of the same sort. Gentle
men, I am proud of being an original
Smith, and not a Smithe nor Smythe,
but a regular, natural S-m-i J-h. Put
ting ay in the middle or an e at the
end, won’t do, gentlemen. Who ever
heard of a great man by tbe name of
Smythe or Smithe ? Echo answers
who ? and everybody says nobody. But
for Smith, plain Smith, why the pil
lars of fame are covered with that
honored and reverend name. Who
were the racy, witty and popular au
thors of this century ? Horace and
Albert Smith. Who the most original,
pithy and humorous preacher ? To go
fut ther back, who was the bravest and
boldest soldier in Sumter’s army in the
revolution ? A Smith. Who palaver
ed with Powhaftan, gallivanted with
Pocahontas, and became the ancestor of
the first families in Virginia ? A Smith
again. And who, I ask, and I ask the
question most seriously and soberly,
who, I say, is that man. and ’what is
his name, who has fought the most bat
tles, made the most speeches, preached
the most sermons, held the offices, sung
the most songs, written the most poems
courted the most women, kissed the
most girls, and married the most wid
ows ? History says, I sav and you say.
and everybody says. John Smith.
Hints to Travelers.
1. Eat regularly thrice a day, and
never between meals.
2. Take with you one third more
money than you calculate on spend
ing.
3. Take small bills rather than large,
to avoid having bad money passed on
you in change.
4. Aim to be at your place of start
ing at least ten minutes befere the time,
and grow merry and wise at contempla
tion of the splutterings and mishaps of
those who come on the last minuie, and
half a minute later.
5. See that your baggage is on the
conveyance before you aie ycffirself.
6. Remember that you make your
character as you go aloDg by tbe quiet
courtesy of your manners.
7. Only boors are boisterous.
8. Do not let tho employes excel you
in patience and politeness.
9. “ Please ” should commence every
request, and “ Thanks ” end every ser
vice done.
10. A lady is always gentle ; a gen
tleman always composed.
11. Never argue on any subject if
there is more than one person present
besides yourself.
A good pie vnut- no b -r l
The Children's Grand Ball at Long
Branch.
I went on one of ihe excursions to
Long Branch a shore ti ue ago, and was
just in season to witness the “Children’s
Grand Ball.” Imagine a large, elegant
ball room, lit by innumerable chandeliers,
and crowded with “ airy, fairy children,”
to the number of about 800. The ad
miring and perspiring mammas and
bonnes, sitting around, were making com
ments on other people’s children ; and
the children themselves were reenacting
the flirtations, affectations, and behavior
generally of the elder folks. When a
lovely galop struck up, how the little
belles—wee toddlers, many of them—
bowed and smirked to their rose-in-but
tonhole, nrhite-gloved, eight-year-old
beaux! Kow these little pinks of po*
lifenen aped tbe manners and copied
the fash ons of their elders! How beau
tifully their little font flew in the rnasy
intricacies ot the dance! How the little
eyes sparkled, and the cheeks flushed !
How these four year and ten year olds
danced, and Si-ted, and ate ices and
dainties until the wee sma' hours ! I
looked in vain for a child simply dress
ed in plain white, with her hair curled
or put back in a round comb. I saw
beautiful children, unnaturally bright
and precoei ’sly brilliant, befrilled, be
flounced, be filed, with silk underdross
es and overdresses of Valcncieoncs with
hair dressed by hairdressers, and gloves,
fans, diamonds, and bracelets, exactly
like a grown-up lady. Little mites of
humanity, v, Ith all the style and airs of 20
and a cirtain dash and bravado that
were sad to see in a child. Little miss
es of ten were deeply engaged in flirta
tions, with all the rolling-up of eyes,
turning up of rosy lips, and the shrug
ging of shoulders of the well-trained co
quette. Boys, blase and nonchalant,
were acting in imitation of their sires;
the girls found time to criticise each
other’s dress and hair, and make rude
i n.uks, just as they had heard their
mamas do. As the night wore on the
little misses—some of them, at least took
riny sips of champagne to keep up the
excitement; but the eyes wero unnatu
rally bright, and the poor little feet
tired and dragged heavily. I watched
a young fashionable mother, who tfas
looking with proud and smiling compla
cence at her only child. She was a gol
den haired. ethereal little bcau*y, six
years old or thereabout, most exquisitely
attired in a dress of pale pink satin, with
overdress of finest lace, with pink satin
boots that Queen Mab might have worn,
dainty three button gloves, sash and fan.
diamond solitaire ear rings, and necklace
with tiny pearl locket, and her lovely
hair tied up with a pale pink ribbon
crimped and frizzed, and waved by an
experienced hair coiffeur. Her French
bonne had been sent to wa f ch her, lest
she should soil her laces or disarrange
her sash ; and when the mamma called
her to retire to her bed, her “One more
dance —only one mamma,” was heard in
successful entreaty. Cor. Chicago
Tribune.
#-
An Intelligent Sheep Dog.
An instance of extraordinary entelli
gcnce in a dog is given by a correspond
ent of Land and Water. The gentle
man who witnessed the event was a
short time since on a visit to Scotland,
aud during oae of his walks he came
cross some men who were washing sheep.
Close to the water where the operations
were being carried on was a small pen
in which a detatchment of ten sheep
were placed handy to the men for wash
ing. While watching the performance
his attention was called to a sheep dog
lying close by. This animal on the pen
becoming nearly empty, would without
a word from any one, started off to the
main body of the flock and brought
back ten of their number, and drove
them into the empty washing pens.
The fact of the dog bringing exactly the
same number of sheep as had vacated it
he looked upon at first as a strange co*
incidence —a mere chance. But he con
tinued looking on, and, much to his
surprise, as soon as the men had reduced
tbe number to three sheep, the dog
started off again and brought back ten
more, and he continued througho it the
afternoon, never bringing one more-nor
one less, and always going for a fresh
lot when ouly three were left in the pen,
evidently being aware that during the
time (he last three were washing he
would be able to bring up a fresh de
tachment.
Antidote for Poison. —If a person
swallows any poison whatever, or has
fallen into convulsions from having
overloaded the stomach, an instanta
neous remedy more efficacious aud ap
plicable in a large number of cases than
any half dozen medicines, is a heaping
tea spoon lull of common salt and as
much ground mustard stirred rapidly in
a tea cup of water, warm or cold, and
swa-Towed instantly. It is scarcely
down before it begins to come up, bring
ing with it the remaining contem’ of
the stomach, and lest there be any rem
nant of the poison, however small, let
the white of an egg or a tea cup full
of strong coffee be swallowed as eoon as
the stomach is quiet. These very com
mon aitides nullity a larger number of
virulent poisons than any medicines in
the shops. — Exchange.
How to Get Rid of Rats and
Mice. —We get rid of rats by putting
potash in their holes and runs. The
poor wretches get it on their feet, and
fur, then they lick it. and do not like
the taste of it; it burns them somewhat,
and the less they like it; so they clear
out almost as soon as the application
made. To get rid of mice, we use tar
taric-emetic mingled with any favorite
food ; they take it, take sick, and take
their leave.
A Stoi. .of Tomi tone Arent.
Gibbs is a tombstone agent. He
finds it to his advantage to wor p - upon
the feelings in traking a sale. The oth
er day he happened to be in a strange
section and was sent: to call upon Mrs
Drown, who had lately lost her husband.
He introduced himself and was invited
to sit down ; spoke of the weather and
then getting around to business, said
rather tenderly : “So you have lost your
husband ?” She wept, and said that it
had that resemblance. He said he sym
pathized with her in her hour of afflic
tion ; that the best of friends were
doomed to part, and but few know any
nmre whose time it would be next. lie
had not the honor of being acquainted
with Mr Brown, but ho had heard him
spoken of all over the country in tho
highest terms of praiso (this was his
usual style whether he had or not ]') ev
erybody considered him an honorable
man, and an affectionate husband, and
they mourned his loss with the most
teuder affection, and he deserved a fit*
ting memorial to his memory, and as it
was the last sad rite she could do, he
begged her to look over some excellent
monumental designs in Italian and
American marble, which he was p e
pared to sell at the lowest (etuis. Said
she “Looky lie l e Mister; von said ho
was an honorable man, and an affociion
ate husband, when you know you lie;
he wasn’t uo such thing. It's it ue t’ve
lost him, but lie ain’t dea l ; he ain’t the
kind that dies. He run off last Wedncs
daywitii another woman and doesn’t need
a tomestono, I’m sorry to say; and I’d
bo much oblcged to you if you’d light
out and not come hack here until you
have an occasion, Mister.” lie faded
away from there and staid in that neigh
borhood two days endeavoring to cul
tivate an acquaintance with the man
who sent him there.
A Naked Bride.
By a strange perversion of legal prin
ciples, it was supposed by our ancestors
that whosoever married a widow who
was administratrix upon the estate of
her deceased husband, represented in
solvent and should therefore possess
himself of any property or thing pur
chased by deceased husband, would be
come executor Je son tort , and would
thereby make himself liable to answer
for the goods of bis predecessor. Major
Moses Joy became enamored of Mrs.
Haunah Ward, widow of Wm. Ward,
who died in 17S8, leaving an insolvent
estate, of which Mrs. Ward was ad
ministratrix. To avoid the unpieas
ant penalties of tho law. on the morn
ing of her marriage with Major Jov.—
Mrs. Waru placed herself in a closet
with a tire woman who stripped her
of all her clothing, and when in a per
fectly nude state, she thrust her fair
round arm, through a diamond hole
in the door of the closet, the gallant
Major clasped the hand of tho buxom
wiiow and was married in due form by
the jolliest parson in Vermont. At
the closo of the ceremony the tier wo
tier woman dressed the bride in
bride in a eomplete wardrobe which the
Major had provided and caused to be
deposited in the closet at the com
mencement of the ceremony. She
came out elegantly dressed in silk, satin
and lace and there was kissing all
around.— Montpelier Argus.
A Thrilling Speech. —The follow
ing is a literal report of a speech deliv
ered in Bowling Green, Ky., by the
candidate for the office of jailer :
Fellow Citizens : Where are my
opponents? Why, gentlemen, they are
nowhere. I feel myself as much above
my opponents as a possum in a persimon
tree does above the ground he crawls on.
I call you in the name of the shaggy
headed lion which whipped the Amen-*
can Eagle; I call on you in the name of
the peacock of liberty, which flopped
over the mountain to come to my res
one. Come on Monday next and pro
mote Dick to the office to which he per
spires. When you shall have been
dead, and the green briers shall have
entwined themselves around your graves,
then will your sons come to me and say,
‘Dick, some years ago our fathers voted
for you for the office of jailership of
Warren county.' Then will I say, -roll
on, thou silver moon, I will be with thee
till the last day in the evening.”
Intelectual Culture - A cultivated
mind may be said to have infinite strong
of innocent gratification. Every king
may be made interesting to it, by be
coming a subject of thought or iuquiry.
Books, regarded merely as gratification
arc worth more than all the luxuries of
earth. A taste for literature secures
cheerful occupation for the unemployed
and languid hours of life ; and how many
persons, in these hours, for want of inno
cent resources, are now impelled to
coarse pleasure? IL w mu ly young
men can be found in this ciiy, who un
accustomed to find a companion in a
book, and strangers to intellectual activ
ity, are almost driven, in the long, dull
evenings of winter, to haunts of intern',
perance and bad society.- -Exchange.
France has been so beaten and woun
ded since the fall of the empire that it
is an agreeable novelty to record some
thing ou the other side. Her wheat
harvest this year na3 proven so abun
dant that, instead of having as in 1873,
to import wheat and flour to the value
of $60,000,000, France will be able to
export from $15,000,000 to $20,000,000
worth of This means not only a
good thing for the French farmers, but
also for bread consumers in England, ■
where the harvest will be only an aver- j
age yield.
An elopement has taken place at Mos
cow, Ky., in which *• the young lady j
was accom"- ‘ed by her pare"** ”
ADVEUTIBING 11\T£S.
C'ST* f* r each square of ten Vnes Crlc&a,
for .he first insertion, sl, ami "or each sub
sequent insertion, fifty cents.
No.Sq’ts j l Mo. u Mos. | b Mgs. I 1 jear,
Two $4.00* ITlTbo j $12.00 $20.00
Four “ 6.00 10.00 ) 18.00 35.00
i column 9.00 15.00 I 25.00 40.00
i “ 16.00 25.00 40.00 65.00
1 “ 25. (X) 40 00 } 05.00 115.C0
{4=s“- Ten lines of solid brevier, or| itS
equivalent in space, make a square.
NO. 6
MISCELLANEOUS.
Memphis husbands pnnish their wives
by making them sit on a chunk of ice
while they knit the heel of a slocking.
A Chicago paper thinks that a recent
published ballad, “ Oh speak no more,”
should have been dedicated to Anna
Dickinson.
“ I wouldn't have left, hut the people
kinder egged me on,” said a man whq
was asked why he quit his Kansas home
in a hurry.
The editor of a oountry paper, having
received a bank note detector returns
thauks, and modestly asks for some bauk
notes upon which to test its accuracy,
A youthful writer wants to know
what magazine would give him the high*?
est position the quickest. Wo think a
powder magazine would do his business
for him.
The first mosquito of the season was
captured near Newark N. J. recently af
ter killing two dogs and biting off niue
inches of his cantor’s ear. —New York
Mail.
Josh Billings says that “ Diogenes
hunted in the day time for an honest
man with a lantern. If he had lived in
these times, he would have needed the
hoadlight of a locomotive.”
When they told an Indiana woman
that her husband had been sliced up by
a reaper she impatiently replied Well,
take (he pieces lo tho barn—l can’t’eave
this sauee just now.”
The mortality among married men
in Trenton, Indiana, is reported to be on
the increase, in consequence of a weal
thy philanthropist’s offer to give a bar
rel o*' fiour to every widow iu the town.
A deservedly seedy musician begged
ingeniously, lie wrote to a friend three
times for money, and the third he said,
“I am sure you will now send. After
three who e notes, a half note must
come.”
Foiward and loquacious youth—“ By
Jove, you know, upon my word, now—
if I were to sec a ghost you know I
should boa chattering idiot for tho rest
of my li*e!” Ingcnions maiden— ‘
Have you seen a ghost ?”
Anew dodge of dead beats in tho
West is to quarter themselves on a farm
for a week or so under a pretense of
buying it. Then they leave for the
purpose of getting the purchase money
and never come back any more.
Old Scotch lady—“ Take a snuff,
sir ?” Gentleman (with large nasal
promontory, indignantly)—“ Do 1 look!
like a snutier ?” Old lady—“ Well, I
canna jist say you do, though I maun
say ye hae grand accommodations ”
At the St. Patrick’s celebration in
Baltimore, two colored associations
marched in the procession. They did
not claim to be Irish, but they liked
music and wanted to march, and as the
Irishmen wanted to swell the procession
the matter was easily arranged.
Absent Man o’ Business —“ Oh, Mr.
(forgets his vame) } will you excuse
me one minute ‘l Take a seat —pray
take a chair —take”
Meek Client—“ Thank you, I have
one—”
Man o’ Business—“ That’s all right
—take another !”
1. .
Dr. J. 11. Trumbull, a learned
logist, read a paper at Hartford last
week on the Indian method of counting*
lie said that a decimal systpm, counting
by the fingers of both hands, seems to
have been adopted by most Indian
tribes. The fact is that Indians count
by decimals just as whites do, until they
reach a hundred. Then they get mix
ed.
A i ich miser was visited on his death'
bed by a fellow miser, who for the want
of a better subject, began to talk about
his iuncial. ‘lt will cost a great deal.”
said he. The e will be the monument
—’ Oh. don’t have any monument.’
‘And the plumes.’ Oh, don’t have any
plumes.’ And flowers, and the rose
wood coffin, and the carriage— ’ ‘Don’t
have any carriages; I’d rather go on
foot.’
A Tall Yankey standing six feet three
inches in his stockings, was suddenly
seized with symptoms of fever. Having
a violent pain in his head, hi3 wife to
afford him relief was about to apply
draughts to his feet when he asked :
“ What are you putting them on my
feet for?” “ Why says she, “ to try and
draw the pains out of your head.” “ Tho
deuce !” says he ; “I would rather it
would stay weere it is than to bo drawn
the whole length of mol”
Tho New Orleans PPiytfrb recently,
contained the following notice : “ Tho
boy who came into this office yesterday,
sat down on a box and then bounced up
with a veil and fled like one bewitched,
is reqnesled to return four long brass
tacks that were standing on the box when
he took his seat. No questions will bo
asked—we understand it all; but we
want those tacks ; we have use for them.
That box is especially devoted to ex"
change fiends, and the tacks are what
we depend on for excitement.”
A Scottish hermit uained John hac
just emerged from a life of solitude
among the Franklin Hills of Massachu
setts. He is a little over 50 years old,
and with plenty of iron-gray hair on head
and face. His abode has been a cave in
an immense wall of granite. He enlarged
(he eave by heating the rock and dash
ing cold water against it, so it is now
about twenty feet square, and in one
place eight feet high. His
have been cats, of which he usually fed
from thiee to seven.