The Fair expositor, or Savannah morning news, Jr. (Savannah, GA.) 1873-18??, January 03, 1873, Image 3

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HOW TO PICK OUT A WIFE. BY JOSH BILLINGS. Lind a girl that iz nineteen years old last May, ulx>ut the right bight, with a blue eye, and dark-brown hair, and white teeth. Let the girl be good to look at, not too phnitd ot niusik. a tirm disbeliever in ghosts, and one ov six ehildren in the family. Look well to the karakter ov her father; see that lie is not the member ov eimy dub, don't bet on elekshuns. ami gits shaved at least three times a week. Find out all about her mother, see It shee haz got a good bead or good common sense, study well her likes and dis likes, eat some ov her lmni-made bread and apple dumplins, notiss whether she abuses all ov her nabors, ask her sen ants how long they lived tliare, and don’t fail to observe whether her dresses are last year’s ones tixt over. If you are satisfied that the mother would make the right kind ova mother-in-law, you kan safely kom lude Uiat the dauter would make the right kind ova wife. After tlieze preliminary's all are settled, and you have done a reasonable amount of sparking, ask the young lady for her heart and hand, and if she refuses, yu kan konsider yourself euchred. If, on the contrary, she should say yes, git married at once without any fuss and feathers, and proceed to take the chances. I say take the chances, for tliare ain’t no recipe tor a per fekt wife, any more than thare iz for a perfekt husband. Thare is just as menny good wives az thare iz good hus bands, and I never knew two people, married or single, who were determined tew make themselves agreeable to eaeh other, but what they suckceeded. Name your oldest boy by some good stout name—not after some hero; but should the first boy be a girl, L ask it a/ a favor to me that yn call her Rebekker. I do want sum ov them good, old-fashioned, tuff girl names revived and extended. ■ ■ ■ THE WRETCH. “ Small Talk” thus discoursed! in the Louisville Courier- Journal : “It is believed by some that St. Paul was a widower, because he speaks of having had a thorn in his flesh. He therefore urged persons to remain single, though he admitted mar riage to be necessary in some cases. The eloquent apostle’s prejudices against this delightful institution was doubtless stimulated by the bitterness of his personal recollections. The memory of that “ thorn in his flesh” was still fresh and irritating. He was deprived, too. of several striking illustra tions of the beneficent results produced by woman’s *select est influence’ over man. It is said by the advocates of the institution, that Mr. Seward's iame began to wane, upon the, death of his wife, to whom he owed the vitalizing currents which bore him oh. Disraeli married in is:!'.), and at on< e be gan to rise to the stature which he has reached. The Vis countess Beaconsfield is dead, and we shall see how much this extraordinary man owed to the power behind the throne. • Marriages’says one enthusiast, ‘< al lies a man to heaven.’ We won’t undertake to bolster up St. Paul’s ‘theory by citing the number of husbands who have been kept down and sent to the devil by matrimony. We rather think, though, there area few married gentlemen gathered about his internal majesty who hold their wives somewhat responsible in that tropical latitude.” “Charles,” saida young lady to her lover, “[there is not ing interesting in the paper to-day, is there, dear?” “No, love, but I hope there will he one day, when wc both shall be inserted.” The lady blushed, and said, of course, •• Fni shame, Charles.” THE FAIR EXPOSITOR; OR. SAVANNAH MORNING NEWS, Jr. SILVER WARE, SPOONS AM) FOHKS, DINX EW AND TKA SI: IS. From s>oo to SAOOO, MANUFACTURED BY SAMUEL KIRK A SON, INTABLISHED IS iM7, No, 7<5 \\ ost KnltimoM' street, IJitlflmtire, 'ld. WATCHES. JEWELRY. PLATED WARE ' >Nh LARGE DIAMOND, ''allied at >'>,ooo, the largest im ported into Baltimore. The Silver Ware ottered by tin* Agricultural and Mechanical Association, was furnished by this house. BUG-aiES, MiJGEs, fj|J|g mm. \\ ’KOFFER THE LARGEST AND BEST selected stock ot * Brm.iKH, Cakiuauks, Ph.ktoNs. and vehicles ot all kinds that have ever been shown in Savannah. An inspection ot our commodious Repository will amply corroborate! our statement. We also make to order vehicles of all kinds, and] attached to our establishment is a complete RE P AIRIN Ct D KFARTMKNT. McKEE & BENNETT, Corner of Wed Broad and Hay streets , SAVANNAH. JOHN M IX>NOUH. T. BALLANI’VNK. WM. I> SULLIVAN McDonough, ballantyne i co„ IRON AND BRASS FOUNDERS, Machinists and Pattern-Makers, (V.hvkii East Broad and LiftKitry streets, SAV-A.TNT N.A PT, O A... n AVINIi INCIIKASK!* (H it KACII.M Il.s. V\ K \][K pared to fill all orders for Machinery, Iron Fronts, and Castings for Buildings, as cheap as can be furnished at the. North. PATTERN-MAKING, in its various branches, executed with accuracy and dispatch. Special attention given t*> repairs of machinery entrusted to us. The reputation of our SUGAR MILLS and PANS is estab lished. They will be guaranteed to lx* of the best manufac ture and ot the latest improved styles. EIKr OF FRUTaW. SUGAR M ILLS—Without With Cast Iron Frames. Frames. ready to Grind. LS inch SOO 18 inch slou i2 inch 4o 12 inch 47 Id inch 50 Id inch. 57 14 inch 00 14 inch Hi inch 75 16 inch ... Hi SUGAR PANS —80 gallons, £l4; 40 gallons, £17:*50 gallons, s2l: GO gallons, $25; so gallons, Cd 2; 100 gallons, S4O. All work warranted. THOHAS RAMjANTYNK, MMprrinten rttmt•