Newspaper Page Text
W* V. WESTER,
EDITOR.
VOLUME IV.
Sdau> f uLb.
” ‘W. 11. dab^ey,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
CALIKHJjr; GA.
mWTILL pracucem all the Courts of Law
W ant J Equity in the Cherokee Circuit.
September 6, 1855. (
* G. J. F AlJtf,
Attorney and Counselor at Law,
Calhoun,‘Geo.,
WILL practice in all the Courts of the
Cherokee Circuit. fSept. 6, ’55.
__ je.ssi; 4 gllenk.. j
. Attorney At Law,
DALTON, ga.
julylo’sßn46—-ly
\vm. v.W estT X
Attorney at Law,
CALHOON, GA.
WILL practice 1n all the Counties of
Gordon, Cass, Floyd, Chattooga,
Walkev, Whitfield. Mnov. Catoosi, Dade,
Pickens, Panniff and Gilmer. Prompt at
teution to all business entrust} cl to his ,
care. 3ns*neßfc solicited. ~ft ‘
Office— 1 ” stairs K-urtli-east corner 1
Peeples’ old adjoining • Platform
Office. jjP? ndsrptf* tß'>B
A
Attorney; at Law,
. CAtnC-lijS. GEORGM \.|
- wr ta,lc>o.ly’
J. E
‘anesßinr at law,
CALHOUN ; GA.,
WILL practice in all the Courts in the
Cberokee.Circuit. Prompt atten
tion will be given to the collection of Notes
n13v013 ly,
W. R. HALFORD,
Attorney at Law,
Calhoun , Gordon Couuty , Ga.
M. J. CRAWFORD,
ATTORNEY. LAW,.,
A llincaAd. r -A*
” practice in nil the Cduntioa <St
VV the Cherokee Circuit. Prompt at
tention will be givon to all business entrus
ted to his cate.
Feb. 17th. 18-5 T. ly
T. J. STORKS,
Attorney At Law,
ADAIRSVILLE , GA.,
ft ILL practice in all the Courts of the
Cherokee Circuit Prompt attention will
be given to the co lectiug business.
References l
MURPHY & CANDLER, l „ ~
J. T. WILSON, j Decatur, Ga.
Jan. 14, 1858—ly
LAGriffetli.M.lL,
HAVING permanently located at
ADAiRSVILLH, 6A,
Would, through this medium, respectfully
tender hia Professional services, in the va
rioas branches of Medical Science, to the
citizens and vicinity, and hope, by prompt
•ad unremitting attention to business, to
merit a liberal patronage.
He may be found at his Office (over J. L.
Neel’s Store,) both day and night, when
not Professionally absent.
Charges moderate in all oases.
May 20th, 1858. nSßtf
Cjb l/Ee cto’LlJ'.
YOUNG, JACKSON &C<f,
Dealers in
Dry Goods and Groceries.
CA HOUN, GEORGIA.
-ffttW OmLIGIIM,
DEALERS IN
HONS & Fill!,
CALHOU2&. GA.
JAS. R. WYLIE,] [R. H. O’CALLAGHAN.
March 3ist, ! 58—ly.
B J HUTCHINS,
RESIDENT MIIMWIST,
CALHOUN, GA.
PICTURES TAKEN FOR FIFTY CENTS.
given in the Art, and
Apparatus furnished upon reasonable
terms. n27Marcn4th ts
W. J. Key,
CALHOUN, GA.,
DEALER IN
STAPLE AND DOMESTIC DRY
GOODS AND GROCERIES.
ALL fit which will be sold at a small ad
ranee en CGBT—for CASK only.
no 4 T. —ly.
Fisk's Metallic Burial Cases
OF all sizes, with SILVER or common
Mounting. For sale by
youNO, JACKSON & Cos,
CALHOUN, GEORGIA, TMURMSAY, ‘ SEPTEMBER 0, 1858.
f MJS( E!.LANEOUS.
From the Montgomery Mail.
“Another Hat Joel.”
A short yarn spun to us last
evening of and concerning the expes
riments of mUtlirigi, of a couple of
friends of ours, now or lately sojour- i
ning for health and pleasure at the j
Talladega Springs. It is unneces
sary to give the names of these gen
tlemen, but for convenience we will
call them respectively, John and Jo
el. They, it may be remarked, have t
i areatMiradarivv of sas?e4.-e’ !
*__. ’fgf* ‘rrr~:. ■ ;■ •, -. JremSiifcj
••fishing l and every body knows that
the.vjcinity of Talladega Springs of
fers fin? to the skillful ;
knight of the fly.
Thus, John and Joel—there being j
nu religious services at the Springs :
that day—went out, Sunday before |
lust, to the mill of Mr. P , a !
mile or the creek, with a
view to a dinner of small trout and |
bregtn. With them went their invi- !
ted guest, Mr. Smith, and “Miles” j
“contrived” them down a bottle or |
i two of wine.
The party was snug ; the wind !
: was propitious: and the fish alto
gether amiable. A cosy, nice din*
ine of brown and crisp mountain,
j fish soon washed down with a few
g asses of champagne ; and then ci
g.: rs >v> ro lit. As the smike untied
. !.. ■ V Ffevat <::> i ■ Satan,
- x wit*r wsM invisibly present, without
an invitation,) suggested to John,
that that mill was a “slow coach,”
and couldn’t cut much lumber; and
John expressed the same opinion to
Joel. Joel thought differently, and
so did Smith.
“Let’s try her,” said John.
“Agreed,” said Joel and Smith.
It was short work ; a large pine
log lay at right angles across the
carriage of the mill, and it was a
greed to -“let her rip” through this.
Accordingly, the gate was raised
and iimmediately the stillness of “the
grand of woods” was broken by the
rapid, sharp strokes of the saw. In
a minute the lug was brought up and
lltfc phN v;hj_.. !
‘—f ~ -‘pj u-.x.*!"—anlT
- j But the mtU wouldn’ithe stopped,
but went clattering aw.iy, as hard
as ever!
“Stop her. John, or by the Lord
she’ll split herself in two,” —shout**
cd Joel. But all the fixtures were
obstinate and refused to yield to the
exertions of John and Smith. On
went the saw, while John and Joel
s perspired.
1 ; Presently the carriage present*
ed some metallic obstructions to the
passage of the saw, but “true as
steel,” it went against the obstruc
tion— and then the teeth flew. —
(Some pieces of mill iron had been
left upon the carriage way.) But
yet it ceased not up and down ! up
and down i the true steel to the dull
cast iron, until suddenly a small
flame broke out emong the dust and
splinters near the point of contact.
“Great G-d, John,” said Joel;
“the infernal machine is on fire. —
What shall we do?”
“Run down to the creek and bring
up your hat full of water,” said John
Joel looked affectionately at his
handsome tile which is always kept
neatly brushed, but submitting to a
dire necessity he straightway made
it a fire bucket and commenced fight
ing the flames. John and Smith’s
straws were unavailable ; neverthe
less, they did ail those wild incon
siderate things which most persons
will do, in case of fire, when th#e<*
is no possibility of doing any good.
Still that toothless saw rippod on,
singing a demon song as it scraped
against the dull, cast iron. And the
fire kept gaining a little.
Joel labored faithfully, and every
1 two minutes brought up his hat full
I of water and threw it upon the fire.
John stood desparing leaning against
a post in the. mill, and hallooed to
his friend, as he seemed to pause at
the brink of the stream —
“Another hat full, Joel, for God’s
sake ! The infernal thing will cost
us at least SI2OO apiece, if it burns!”
‘•‘■Besides my hat,” said Joel; but
he brought the water and poured it
on.
On went the devilish saw, raking,!
rasping, and tearing itself to pieces.
At this juncture, Mr. P., the ow
ner of the mill, having seen the
smoke, came down to the mill, and
with great difficulty the saw was
stopped and the fire puc out. Joel
was grievously “blown” with carry
ing water in lus hat, and John was
quite used up with excitement, while
Smith was breathless from his exer
tions at some lever which he suppo
sed might have some influence in
quieting the demon saw.
“Gentlemen,” said the proprietor,
very politely, “it is easy enough to
CIVIL AND KEIJWUS LIBERTY,
see why you couldn’t Stop the saw
after you set it a-going. This mill
hes some new arrangements which
I can easily explain-- v
“For Heaven’s, Mr. P.,” said
John, no explanations on that point!
Its the first mill I ever set agoing
and I shall never start another !
Just send os your bill for damages,
and let’s say no more about it.”
The “boys” paid S6O for hot
knowing how to stop a saw, and
that night John, m a feverish sleep,
(he has had that blessing, chills and
fever,) shouted to his room-mate—•
“One more hat-full, JnelJP
Caught on the Jury.
The following, which we have
heard tpld as a fact some time ago,
is too.g’ood to be lost, and may be
beneficial to some gentleman who
young unsuspecting wife :
A certain man, who lived - about
ten miles from K , was in the
habit of going to town about once a
week and getting on a regular spree,
and would not return until he had.
time to “cool oft,” which was geners
ally two or three days. His wife
was ignorant of the cause of his
staying out so long, and suffered
greatly from anxiety about his wel
fare. When would return, of
course his • wife would enquire
what had been the matter witn him, j
and the invariable replV was, “that
Tv* was C;.light on the jury and
couldn't get off.”
Having gathered his corn and
placed it in a large heap, he, ac
cording to custom, determined*to
call in his neighbors and have a real
corn shucking frolic. So lie gave
Ned, a faithful servant, a jug ana
an order to go to town and get a
gallon of whiskey—a very necessa
ry article on such occasions. Ned
mounted a mule, and was soon in
town, and, equipped with the whis
key, and rei-mounted to set out for
home, all buoyant with the prospect
of fun at “shocking.”
When he lied’proceeded a few
hundred yards fn ic town he con
cluded to try the ‘stuff,’ and not
satisfied with once* ho kept try ing
j rfVaThe
I tktte iie went lo sleep arm the mule
to grazing. It was now nearly
right, and when Ned awoke it was
just before the break o’day, and so
j dark that he was unable to make
I any start towards home until light.
As soon as his bewilderment had
subsided so that he could get the
‘point,’ he started with an empty
jug, the whiskey having run out,
and afoot, for the mule had gone
home. Os course he was contem
plating the application of a ‘two
| year old hickory,’ or a piece of twis
ted cowhide as he went on at the
rate of two-forty. Ned reached
home about breakfast time, and
j ‘fetched up’ at the back door with a
decidedly guilty countenance.
‘What in thunder have you been
I at, you black rascal,’ said his mas
! ter.
! Ned, krt owing his master’s excuse
to his wife when he got on a spree,
determined to tell the truth if he
died for it, and said:
‘Well, master, to tell the truth, I
was kotch on the jury and couldn’t
get off.’
Wonder if that jury ever hung.—
Ed. Plat.
The Cable and Scripture*
The success in laying the Atlan .
tic cable (says the New York Herald )
has impressed many with the idea
that the year 1858 will ever remain
a memorable era in the history of
the world, but a little overhauling
of the Scriptures will show that the
idea, so far from being new or origi
nal, is simply a fulfillment of proph*
ecy, and carrying out of suggestions
made by the inspired writers. We
append a few ext. acts to convince
the sceptical:
Psalms, xix. : 14 —Their line is
gone out through all the earth, and
their words to the end of the world.
Job, xxxyiii. : 36.—Canst thou
send lightnings, that they may go,
and ga7 unto thee, here we are.
Revelations, x. : i.—And I saw
another mighty angel come down
from heaven, clothed with a cloud;
and a rainbow was upon his head,
and his face was as it were the sun,
and his feet as pillars of fire.
2. And he had in his hand a little
book open ; and he set hs rigt foot
upon the sea and his left foot upon
the earth.
3. And cried with a loud voice,
as when a lion roareth; and when
he had cried, seven thunders utter*
ed their voices.
4. And when the seven thunders
had uttered their voices, I was about
to write, and I heard a voice from
heaven, saying unto me, seal up
these things which the seven thun
ders uttered, and write them not.
5. And the 1 saw ‘
stand upon the upon the
earth lifted up hie hMjgh heaven.
6 And .sware hfiK/j that liveth
forever and heav- ‘
en aft4-the_ things ty therein are.
and the earth anlßre things that,
therein are, and ft V sea and the
thing's which are ftWnr.. that there
should be time ne LRger.
Joß’, XXXVII.: directeth it
(his voice) undei^tnM? hole heaven,
and his lightning* ends of the
earthy v^:.
‘Job, Efienhehad
H; the thun
Job, xxxviii. :W_Who hath
divided a watercouM f or t h e over*
flowing of waters, way for the
lightning of thnndqfc
Proverßs, viii. Mq He
gave to the se. h J wree th , t , h ,
waters should not pj* his commalld _
The coincdenofT f thc geyen
•thunders and j n the En
vangehst s vision, j, h the Beten
wires o. the cable’, even
sions to the “way lightning;”
the inquiry wliethe the htni
can be made to ape* and (he di „
reel reference tojT ins „ laton of
the cable by gmnjrJ- decree t 0 the
•sea, that “the Wj*„ shou , d „ ot
pass his eomioanm h . at once
I V :1 0 TANARUS” SsJp? priority of
tlie luea, conctrnli; J w hich there is
now much wrong] . the ncwspas
pers. \ erily, “thci Ij 8 Dot hing new
under the sun. |
Dangerous | ort on the
Flairs
A gt Loms
Democrat, foliowin-jj g
my, 340 miles irotuW eavenworth>
Jyly 2nd, writes as l|q ows ,
Wolves are seen during
the day, and just as*/ we came on
j the camping ground, % j . one
I was started. g
j hound caught sight and ”
j = u ed bun, overtook hP aII
| touted a hair, he was
! of the wolf, dm • . v .| v f r i e nd-
This ch’
i a herd, (/ or 8,) of dis*-
cerned some two mises iff. Capt.
Pleasanton, Gen. Barney s aid, set
out in pursuit, by himself, armed
only with a Colt’s repeater, and had
a dangerous adventure. His pur
pose was to run the grtae towards
the camp. He succee*; din driving
i them in the direction i at,vended, when
i a. body of teamsters, des’fous of wit
nessing the sport, car. ir; sight.
The buffalo took frigfil and made
for the it ills. The hufr- r pursued
them, but. he rode a hoise which
had never before seer, t buffalo, and
which was hard to side.—
I The hunter singled <>u- n bull, sir r
him twice, and wonmhd him both
times. By this time quite
close to him on the verg_ us one of
■ those clayey which
the place abounds. /
The hunted animal siddodv
ped, stretched out Jus t<7i elegs, arid
wheeling upon them asjan a pivot,
j thus bring himself face I with his
i pursuors. The horse Mas unmana
geable and rushed on tle*bull, who
set his horns to meet tie onset. —
The collision was tekbible. Cap
tain Pleasanton, conscious of his sit
uation, had disengaged ns feet from
the stirrups, and just as the shock
tood place, or p?rbaps a moment
sooner, sprung upon the back of the
bull, from which he rolled down the
precice. The horse having been
gored in the breast and belly, died
instantly. The bull next charged
on the dismounted r%*Tbut two
more bullets from per
suaded him to alter niUjiourse.—
Capt. Pleasanton, I rejoiced,
received no personal injury. He
took the affair coolly, vnbuckeled
the girths of his slaughtered steed,
swung the saddle and accoutrements
across his shoulder, and carried them
into camp. No terreador or mata
dor in the Spanish circus could have
a more formidable antagonist or a
narrower escape.
Presidential Hair.
In the Patent Office at Washing
ton, there are many object.! of inter
est connected with the government,
and those who administtie 1 its afi*
fairs in times gone by. (labile ex
amining some of the obj*e. t of cu
riosity when in Washinglfft in-De
cember last, there was no|,hin£ that
struck us so forcibly as the samples,
or small locks of hair take® from the
heads of different chief mtgistrates,
from Washington down to’ Pierce,
secured in frame covered Vith glass.
Here is, in fact, a part om! parcel
of what once constituted The living
bodies of those illustrious iudividu
als, whose names are as familiar as
household words, but who now live
only in history and the remembrance >
of the .past. The hair of Washing-1
ton is nearly a pure white, fine and j
smootth in its appearance. That of,
John Adams is nearly the same co- i
lor, though perhaps a little coarser, i
.The hair of J fferson is a different
character, being a mixture of white
arid auburn, or a sandy brawn, and
rather coarse. In his youth, Mr.
Jefferson’s hair was remarkable for ;
its bright color. The hair of Modi- -j
son is coarse, and of a mixed white |
and dark. The hair of Monroe is a
handsome dark auburn, smooth, and
free from any admixture whatever, j
-4lfc 1S tfce • -cwty *<* nt T
wiu .e hair nail’ form ergo n-3^ :
no change in color. The hair of
John Quincy Adams is somewhat
peculiar, being coarse, and of a yel- i
lowish gray color. The hair of:
Jackson is almost a perfect white, ;
but coarse in its character, as might
be suppose'! by those who examined ,
the portraits of the old hero. The
hair of Yan Buren is white and
smooth i:; ■.ppearance. The hair of j
General il;.rri<-n is a fine white, |
with a slight admixture of black.— I
The hair of John Tyler is a mixture
of white jnd brown. The hair of!
James K. Polk is almost a pure j
white. The hair of General Taylor |
is white with a slight admixture of!
brown. The hair of Millard Fill
more is, on the other hand, brown,
with a slight admixture of white.—
j The hair of Franklin Pierce is a
| dark brown, of which he has a plen
tiful crop. The hair of James Bu
chanan is perfectly white and silken.
How the business of
Courts i s Done by
Professional Jurors,
There is always in attendance ups
on every Court, a number of men
who make it a business to sit upon |
Juries, and earn a livelihood by this j
“profession.” They are generally j
of tne lazy, Falstaff stvle, who car. j
en.dure a deal of sitting, particular
ly if permitted to occupy a comfort- j
able arm chair. An incident rela
ted to us yesterday, illustrates the
habits of the; e “professional ju
rors.” We will givejiuraame with- i
‘! eon. A cause submitted
j to the Jury in one of the courts of
| the city, and as soon as they retired
to their usual room to deliberate,
‘one of these professional jurors
said :
‘I suppose we all understand this
c se. 1 move fled a verdict for ttie
defendant.’
! The motion was put by the Fore
; man, and negatived. The same ins
dividual jumped up again and moved
that a verdict be found for the plains
till ihe Foreman, who could’nt
exactly understand the hasty change
of the juryman, voted in the neo-a
irvo, very much to the disappoint
mem of the prof ssional juror. So
finding that no foreman was about
to discus-- some points of the evi
dence. iu whispered in his ear.
‘L.-e jh agree. There’s another
c >ur g ,i i". the Court ini'me
■ -iv and we’ll lose the chance of
getting on the ju y !’
| That was j *sc what the Foreman
| was desirous of avoiding, and there
! fore took his time. When the ver
dict was finally agreed upon, and
the jury returned to the court room
—another jury had been sworn. The
professional juror, observing the
chairs already filled, stepped up to
the Foreman and said, in a tone of
deep disappointment.
‘There, I told you so !’
This incident furnishes suffeient
condemnation of the pro essional
juror system. —Cincinatti Commer
mercial.
To© GocJ to bo lost, Haiatl
it
Several days ago a well dressed
scamp got upon the cars-at Ghatta- i
nooga, and by some means escaped I
the vigilance of the conductor until
he reached Huntsville. Here con
ductors changed and Mr. Fowler
took charge of the train, and in mak
ing the first round to collect tickets,
between Madison and Huntsville,
ke found the door of one of the pri
vate Saloons fastened. The brakes
mau assured him that there was a
man in the saloon, and without sus
pecting foul play he told the brake
man to point out the man to him
when he came out, so that he might
collect his ticket. Fowler had no
am ner made his round than out
(mtnc tho gentleman, thinking all
was safe. When he took his seat in
the car, he removed his hat from his
head, and put it under his seat, —
When called on for his ticket here
marked, that while in the saloon he
poked his head out of the window to
breathe fresh air, and was so unfor
tunatc as to loose his hat, with his
ticket in the band, and he could not
think of paying twice. The con
ductor told him ho regretted the
circumstance very much, but, as it
was one for which the railroad was
not to blame, he Would be compell
ed to make him pay a second time
—or else make him leave the train
at Madison station. The scamp
wxis indignant—Fowler remonstra
ted in his usual polite, but firm way,
until the station was reached, when
he iufdVtned him that he was at the
end of his rope, and leave the cars
he must. Finding there was no !
backing down, he reached under hia ?
seat, drew out his hat and started
to leave the care, when Fowlet told
Jjtjci , he would have to exercise his
CJITXiIaIC'.'JXC. Aigifcin'—- arrA-tFre i
fact of his having lost his own, did
not entitle him to take a fellow-travs
eler’s hat —for that the company
would bo responsible. Whereupon
he took charge of the hat, and shov
ed tho gentleman off the cars.—
Huntsville Democrat.
Insanity at Different Periods
of Life.— The London Lancet says,
that to determine the period of life,
which furnishes the greatest number
: of insane persons it is sufficient to
I bring together the records, made up
under different circumstances. One
of these, made at the Bicetre, France
where poor men only are received,
another at the Salpetriere, a hospi
tal for poor women, the third, an
establishment devoted to the weal**
thy, have been examined, and it ap
pears that the age which furnishes
the greatest number of insane, is—
for men, that from thirty to forty
years, while for women it is that
from fifty to sixty years. The ages
which furnish the least, for both
! sexes, childhood, youth, and advarn*
; ced age. Among women, insanity
appears earlier than among men,
indeed from twenty to thirty years
lof age. The rich are more subject
| to insanity in proportion than thc
J poor.— Chronicle Sentinel.
j Who is She ?— The Mankato ln-
I dependent says : One of the Sioux
! chiefs recently returned from Wash
ington, brought back with him an
addition to his household in the shape
wife—a,
sc and fll’Oio
‘“Vc •
oru of our citizens win/ Wont up to
th<> agency on tho. same boat, we
learn that she manifested considera
ble disappointment at the aspect of
j affairs on her arrival. The romance
of the thing was pretty effectually
{ “squashed” by the appearance of
i We inmates and surroundings of her
I new home. She declined all offers
’ of assistance from thc officers of the
boat, who wore anxious to return
| her to civilized society, protesting
her ability and intention to attend
to her own business, and advising
them to do likewise. They left her
in an eight by ten feet mud hovel,
in company with a couple of Daco-N
+ab matrons, who, also, we believe,
j‘ air i r,s upon the affections of the
i chief ‘in buestion.
j Useful Information.— The wash
erwomen of Holland and Belgium,
so proverbially clean, and who get
up their linen so beautifully white,
use refined borax as a washing pow
der instead of soda, in the proportion
of a large handful of borax powder
to about ten gallons of boiling wa
ter ; they save in soap nearly half.
All the large washing establishments
adopt the same inode. For laces,
cambrics, &c., an extra quantity of
the powder is used, and for crino
i lines (required to bo made very stiff)
| a strong solution is necessary. Bo
l’aX being a neutral salt does not in
| the slightest degree injure the tex
ture of linen; its effect is to soften
■ the hardest water, and therefore it
should be kept on every toilet toblc.
To the taste it is rather sweet, is
1 used for cleaning hair, is an excel**
I lent dentrifice, and in hot countries
j is used in combination with tartaric
! acid and bi-carbonate of soda as a
| cooling beverage. Good tea cannot
be made with hard water ; all water
may be made soft by adding a teas
spoonful of borax powder to an or
dinary sized kettle of water, in
which it should boil. The saving
in the quantity of tea used will be
at least one fifth. To give to black
tea the flavor o*’ the green tea, add
a single leaf from the black current
tree.— Galignams Messenger.
It is now stated by ‘some extra**
knowing ones, that an accredited
agent, having full power to act, is
said to be in Washington, for the
purpose of offering the United
States Government Sonora, Chua*
hua, and Lower Calafornia, at a
fair valuation. Should this be true
and a bargain be struck, our domin
ions will then belt the continent
from east to west, with as large a
seaboard upon the Atlantic as the
Pacific oceans, and we shall have
such a sufeitof territory as tfill put
to rest the most insatiate fillibus**
ter.— Ex.
TERMS.
TWO DOLLARS, in Advance.
NUMBER 4.
SCISSORISINGS.
The perpetrator of the following
is sai&fbbe safely enseonsed in the
Toombs, there to be punished for
the horrid crime r *
When lovely woman shows her bosom,
O’er dresses fashionably low,
What man of passion could refuse ’em
The homago of a look or so ?
And when our arcffnt'gaxe retsrmog, *
They scarce repress voluptuous sighs,*
Is it strange our finger ends are burning
To press—our hatß down o’er onr ^*^
Why is ft that the iadies appear
so small during a thundferßtorm ?—-
Exchange.
You dolt I don't you know the
“cause why V * Why, because being
conscious of their attractive powers,
they do not wish to add to the same,
consequently they always shed their
hoops upon the advent of a thunder*
storm .—'Palladium.
A tipsey loafer mistook a globe
lamp with letters on it, for the
queen of night, and exclaimed :
“Well, I’m cussed if somebody
hain’t stuck an advertisement on the
moon.”
The girls, somebody says, think
i of Hymen and can’t help sighing.
When lovers forsake them, they
can’t help crying. They sit at the
window, and can’t spying. They
screw up their corsets, bring on con
sumption, and can’t help dying.
A farmer who had employed -ft
green Emerald, ordered him to give
a mule some corn in the ear. On
his coming in, the farmer asked:
‘Well, Fat did you give him the
corn ?’
‘To be sure I did.’
‘llow did you give it V
‘An, sure, as yez told me, in the
ear.’
‘But how much did you give?’
‘W’ell, yez see the crayther would
n’t hould still, and keep swithin his
ears about so, I couldn’t git above
: a fist full in both ears V
...
.A 1 ■ tVogforn . I ‘nUL
supposed that angels do not wear
dresses. Our fashionable ladies are
getting more and more angelic every
■ year.”
Can’t Afford More. —‘So, here
. I am, between two tailors,* said a
fop at a public table where a couple
of youDg tailors were seated, who
had just begun business for them*
selves.
‘True,’ was the reply, ‘we are new
beginners, and can only afford to
keep one goose between us “
Mr. Singlestick mystified ft tea*
party by remarking that women are
facts. When pressed to explain his
meaning, he said “facts are stub*
born things.”
After a clergyman had united ft
happy pair not long ago, an awiill
silence ensued, which was broken by
an impatient youth exclaiming,
“D- n’t beso unspeakably happy. ’
“There is a divinity that shapes
our ends,” as the pig remarked wnen
he was contemplating the kink in
his tail.
Why is a drunkard like a bombs
shell ? Because the moment he is
out of reach he is “on a bust.”
Dobster got married six months
ago. He says that kissing has sav
ed him fifty per cent in buying su*
gar-
A lady of fashion stepped into a
shop not long since, and asked the
owner if he had any “matrimonial
baskets,” she being too polite to
say cradles,
The latest specimen of gallantry
in the shape of a toast, is this: ‘The
ladies—May their virtues be ample
at their skirts, and their faults be
smaller than their bonnets.”
An incorrigible wag, who lent a
minister a horse, which ran away
and threw his clerical rider, thought
he should have some credit for nis
aid in spreading the gospel.
There was much sound argument
in the reply of a country lad to an
idler, who boasted of his ancient
family: “So much the worse for
you,” said the peasant, “as we plow
men say, the older the seed, the
worse the crop.”
A yankee baker has invented a
new kind of yeast. It makes bread
so light that a pound of it weighs on
ly four ounces.
A fop, is like a cinnamon tree—
the bark is worth more than the
body.