About The Barb. (Atlanta, Ga.) 197?-197? | View Entire Issue (Aug. 1, 1974)
The Amazing Adventures Of Super Fag By Zelda Zorch 3, Pa rt 1: Horror” Vol. 1, Episode 'The Succubus The sun is setting, weighted by the pall of a turbulent, leaden sky. Oc casional roaring crashes of thunder rent the heavy stillness, presaging a storm of elemental inten sity. Limnot Frobisher, who in reality is Super Fag, sits in his heavily, but tastefully, furnished .Victorian style study. Suddenly, as the first heavy raindrops begin to patter, he heard “a loud tapping at die window. Rushing aside the pile of ancient tomes which he has been perusing, the Elegant Emancipator of Downtrodden Gays goes gingerly to the window and peers out. There on the fire-escape is a huge, dark, throbbing mass! “Mercy!” exclaims the Heroic 1 Hummer of. the Forces of Faguom, throwing open the window. He is immediately knocked over as the "huge, throbbing mass pul sates into the golden glow of the warmly lighted room. Throwing, back hei flesh colored, fur 1 edged cloak, which affords her the disguise of a huge throbbing pussy, Wonder Lez is immediately re cognizable by her long red knitted tights, her black patent leather com bat boots, and the Shining flat metal breastplate on which is inscribed: “SAPPHO SAYS: UP* YOURS, BUSTER!” “Great Balls of Flesh, Wonder Lez!” exclaims Super Fag. “I thought you were a huge raven!” “Nevermore call me a bird, if you know what’s good for you, Brilliant Blowjob Artist,” replies the Pugnacious Pussy of Mind Boggling Bulldom. “So what’s the big deal? How come you’ve called me out on a gloomy night like this? My girl friend Hairy Hotlips, and I were planning something spe cial!” “A living production of a revised edition of the Kama Sutra, no doubt,” the Quintessential Queen bitchily remarks. “Well that’s a hell of a lot better than Working Your Way Through The Navy Without Really Join- ing, you little mango plucker! ’ ’ growls the Bold Boxlover of Dauntless Dykedom Look who’s talking!” says the Felicific Fell- atist, adding: “I’ve always said that it takes a true artist to appreci ate me!” “Yeah, one of them graphic graffitti scra- tchers on a shithouse wall!” parries the Laudable Lesbian. “Well, even that’s better than getting one’s critical notices on sani tary napkins! But don’t be a Boorish Bull, we haven’t time for play,” says the Heroic Hummer, adding: “As The Fore most Fighters for Down trodden Gays, we are faced with a bizarre and mysterious case such as we have never met be fore. Have you ever heard of a succubus?” “No,” replies the Dauntless Dyke, “it sounds like soine kind of ha autobus.” Stepping over to a dusty book, Super Fag begins to read: “Succubus - plural, succubi - A malevolent, occult spirit, capable of a variant form of metempsychosis, and which thrives vamp- irically on die efflux of males. . . ” “Which means shit to me, Brilliant Blowjob Artist! Like what’s this all about?” Wonder Lez irritably butts in. “Unperturbed, the Quintessential Queen continues: “You know, of course, what vampires are. They’re evil beings that sleep during the day, and who leave their cof fins at night to lust on human blood. Succubi are similar beings, but they thrive on sperm!” “What an amazing lack of good taste,” mut ters the DauntlesL Darling of Dykedom. “I mean blood is bad enough but sperm! ugh!” “Well,” replies the Heroic Hummer testily, f‘we’re not here to ar gue matters of taste. The Important thing is that there’s a succubus at work in Washington D.C. right now, and if he’s al lowed to continue, it could mean a new rash of fed eral anti-gay legi slation!” “Why?” asks the Pro digious Puss. “A suc cubus isn’t gay, is it?” “No,” answers the Felicitous Faggot. “A succubus is a sexless spi rit which occasionally is able to enter a human body. It then dominates that body and uses it as a vehicle to attack un suspecting, usually sle eping men for their pre vious sperm!” “What makes you think there’s one around? ’ ’ asks the Bullish Boxlover. “I’ve been studying the facts of what’s been going on in Washington,” replies The Heroic Hum mer, “and I’m convinced that such a malevolent spirit has dominated a body, and is at work there. We must find it and exorcise it as soon as possible!” “Well, I admit Wat ergate is a real mess,” rejoins Wonder Lez, “and The Barb 9 llfSii { '' ’ ■ I ' * Gay Men And Women * Meet Your Ideal Mate Thru * ¥ ¥ * * * * * ¥ ¥ * * ♦ * * * * * * * * ¥ ¥ ¥ ¥ ¥ ¥ ¥ P.O. Box 49382 Atlanta, Ga. 30329 Atlanta’s Exclusively Gay, Personalize.d K Dating Referral Service Av.v.y.w Write Now For Details!! START SWINGING NOW! the present occupant of the White House is certainly no friend of gays, but. . .” “No, No,” interrupts Super Fab, “this parti cular succubus is a tho roughly non- political ani - mal. But think of the dire consequences for Downtrodden Gays if he’s allowed to continue to go about taking advantage of unsuspecting men. Be sides, they’ve been shuf fling the buck with this Watergate shit so much, and now this! Why, they could end up trying to make gays the ultimate scapegoats! “Your right, Ponder ous Pansy! ’ ’ agrees Won der Lez. “They’ve tried everytmng about just else T ” “I fear,” Super Fag says, “that if this suc cubus isn’t caught, Down trodden Gays could be subjected to a nationwide witchhunt that would make Boise Idaho look like a Christian fellowship picnic!” “That would take some doing,” says the Bold Boxlover of Bullish Dykedom, “But what can we do against a succubus?” “I’ve been research ing the subject in my col lection of medieval books, and I’ve learned how tc exorcise this devil of a succubus. I’ll explair as we fly to Washingtor in the Gaymobile.” Looking For Interesting Material? MOD BOOKSTORE 235 Ponce de Leon Ave. Atlanta, Ga. 876-9324 Private Booths ★ A A A AW A AA A★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★