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The Amazing Adventures
Of Super Fag
By Zelda Zorch
3, Pa rt 1:
Horror”
Vol. 1, Episode
'The Succubus
The sun is setting,
weighted by the pall of a
turbulent, leaden sky. Oc
casional roaring crashes
of thunder rent the heavy
stillness, presaging a
storm of elemental inten
sity. Limnot Frobisher,
who in reality is Super
Fag, sits in his heavily,
but tastefully, furnished
.Victorian style study.
Suddenly, as the first
heavy raindrops begin to
patter, he heard “a loud
tapping at die window.
Rushing aside the pile of
ancient tomes which he
has been perusing, the
Elegant Emancipator of
Downtrodden Gays goes
gingerly to the window and
peers out. There on the
fire-escape is a huge,
dark, throbbing mass!
“Mercy!” exclaims
the Heroic 1 Hummer of.
the Forces of Faguom,
throwing open the window.
He is immediately
knocked over as the
"huge, throbbing mass pul
sates into the golden glow
of the warmly lighted
room. Throwing, back hei
flesh colored, fur 1 edged
cloak, which affords her
the disguise of a huge
throbbing pussy, Wonder
Lez is immediately re
cognizable by her long
red knitted tights, her
black patent leather com
bat boots, and the Shining
flat metal breastplate on
which is inscribed:
“SAPPHO SAYS: UP*
YOURS, BUSTER!”
“Great Balls of Flesh,
Wonder Lez!” exclaims
Super Fag. “I thought
you were a huge raven!”
“Nevermore call me
a bird, if you know what’s
good for you, Brilliant
Blowjob Artist,” replies
the Pugnacious Pussy of
Mind Boggling Bulldom.
“So what’s the big deal?
How come you’ve called
me out on a gloomy night
like this? My girl friend
Hairy Hotlips, and I were
planning something spe
cial!”
“A living production
of a revised edition of the
Kama Sutra, no doubt,”
the Quintessential Queen
bitchily remarks.
“Well that’s a hell of
a lot better than Working
Your Way Through The
Navy Without Really Join-
ing, you little mango
plucker! ’ ’ growls the Bold
Boxlover of Dauntless
Dykedom
Look who’s talking!”
says the Felicific Fell-
atist, adding: “I’ve
always said that it takes
a true artist to appreci
ate me!”
“Yeah, one of them
graphic graffitti scra-
tchers on a shithouse
wall!” parries the
Laudable Lesbian.
“Well, even that’s
better than getting one’s
critical notices on sani
tary napkins! But don’t
be a Boorish Bull, we
haven’t time for play,”
says the Heroic Hummer,
adding: “As The Fore
most Fighters for Down
trodden Gays, we are
faced with a bizarre and
mysterious case such as
we have never met be
fore. Have you ever
heard of a succubus?”
“No,” replies the
Dauntless Dyke, “it
sounds like soine kind of
ha autobus.”
Stepping over to a
dusty book, Super Fag
begins to read: “Succubus
- plural, succubi - A
malevolent, occult spirit,
capable of a variant form
of metempsychosis, and
which thrives vamp-
irically on die efflux of
males. . . ”
“Which means shit
to me, Brilliant Blowjob
Artist!
Like what’s this
all about?” Wonder
Lez irritably butts in.
“Unperturbed, the
Quintessential Queen
continues: “You know,
of course, what vampires
are. They’re evil beings
that sleep during the day,
and who leave their cof
fins at night to lust on
human blood. Succubi are
similar beings, but they
thrive on sperm!”
“What an amazing
lack of good taste,” mut
ters the DauntlesL
Darling of Dykedom. “I
mean blood is bad enough
but sperm! ugh!”
“Well,” replies the
Heroic Hummer testily,
f‘we’re not here to ar
gue matters of taste. The
Important thing is that
there’s a succubus at
work in Washington D.C.
right now, and if he’s al
lowed to continue, it could
mean a new rash of fed
eral anti-gay legi
slation!”
“Why?” asks the Pro
digious Puss. “A suc
cubus isn’t gay, is it?”
“No,” answers the
Felicitous Faggot. “A
succubus is a sexless spi
rit which occasionally is
able to enter a human
body. It then dominates
that body and uses it as
a vehicle to attack un
suspecting, usually sle
eping men for their pre
vious sperm!”
“What makes you
think there’s one
around? ’ ’ asks the Bullish
Boxlover.
“I’ve been studying
the facts of what’s been
going on in Washington,”
replies The Heroic Hum
mer, “and I’m convinced
that such a malevolent
spirit has dominated a
body, and is at work
there. We must find it
and exorcise it as soon
as possible!”
“Well, I admit Wat
ergate is a real mess,”
rejoins Wonder Lez, “and
The Barb 9
llfSii
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the present occupant
of the White House is
certainly no friend of
gays, but. . .”
“No, No,” interrupts
Super Fab, “this parti
cular succubus is a tho
roughly non- political ani -
mal. But think of the
dire consequences for
Downtrodden Gays if he’s
allowed to continue to go
about taking advantage of
unsuspecting men. Be
sides, they’ve been shuf
fling the buck with this
Watergate shit so much,
and now this! Why, they
could end up trying to
make gays the ultimate
scapegoats!
“Your right, Ponder
ous Pansy! ’ ’ agrees Won
der Lez. “They’ve tried
everytmng
about
just
else T ”
“I fear,” Super Fag
says, “that if this suc
cubus isn’t caught, Down
trodden Gays could be
subjected to a nationwide
witchhunt that would make
Boise Idaho look like
a Christian fellowship
picnic!”
“That would take
some doing,” says the
Bold Boxlover of Bullish
Dykedom, “But what can
we do against a
succubus?”
“I’ve been research
ing the subject in my col
lection of medieval books,
and I’ve learned how tc
exorcise this devil of a
succubus. I’ll explair
as we fly to Washingtor
in the Gaymobile.”
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