About Flagpole. (Athens, Ga.) 1987-current | View Entire Issue (June 15, 1988)
Straight from the bowels of the New South (Mississippi), cums a new band of renown: $hackler! They've recently decided to settle in Athens after a grueling 9-month tour throughout Mexico with none other than Wendy O. Williams herself. Wendy's beginning to look more and more like a roadkill left in the sun to dehydrate, and her music is decomposing in a similar fashion. But lead singer $hackler, (where the band gets its name) says Wendy can still fuck like a diesel chainsaw in high gear. When asked: "What was the best part of touring with Wendy 0.?" Shackler replied: "I liked it when she bent me over an oil drum behind a tavern in Chihuahua, Mexico, and fingered my hungry butthole with her thumb. Then she whipped out that greasy, studded dildo she carries everywhere and rammed it up my sweet little rectum as hard and as far as she could — It went so deep my tonsils and eardrums felt the surge! It was almost as good as the surge from $hackler music A real Nazi-sex-drive surge!" The other members of $hackler (Kragg - drums, London Frog - guitar, Skull Mange - bass) all agree: "Our music has a powerful Naxi-sex-drive surge to it." As Kragg said, "Feels sorta like the time I pumped my dick into Wendy O.'s pussy while a blonde, 6'6" 17 year Flagpole • June 15/ 1988 Page 7/ old neo-Nazi squeezed my balls between the heels of his black leather boots." London Frog added, "Yeah, and the whole time that anorexic Hitler youth was stroking his 9 1/2 inch, uncut knockwurst with both hands, polishing the head of that pink, greedy pig as it pushes in and out of the foreskin what a rush!" But as Skull Mange pointed out, "The best part is when our music hits a climax; like cumming in O.'s -pussy while that fascist kid started spraying his juicy hot jism all over my ass- crack, rolling his eyes to the back of his head, psychotically screaming "Ja, Ja. Zieg Heil. Blut and Ehre, Blut and Ehre, Blut and Ehre" over and over like a good Aryan should hot as shit!" And $hack.ler himself summed it up best: "Yeah, dude, we may be homo-racists, S&M/B$D addicts, but that little Adolf sure could shoot one hot, creamy load. And $hackler music is definitely
