by EMERSON DAMERON
Acoustic Syndicate 86ed its
plans to play the Watt on
Thursday, July 13, leaving Athens'
f-holes to play three sets by
themselves. Bring them tacos and
Gatorade. Ween will also play
sans opener on Wednesday, July
19, in support of its new, dis
turbingly laid back record. White
Pepper. Ween shows are always a
blast, but be prepared to pony up
15 big ones. You've always got
Simon Joyner and Empire State's
Alex McManus at the Caledonia if
you want to keep cable TV.
You are about to be placed in a state of aggres
sive paranoia and feral fury. As you grow more
tense, prepare your intellectual fight-or-flight
mechanism. Strain it Hold that strain. Don't let it
escape. Cast aside any residual optimism and self-
confidence. Let the self-hate cover you like a
blanket. As you grow to loathe yourself and, by
proxy, humanity at large, constrict every muscle in
your body. Make a mental picture of everything
you hear. Visualize your will power crushed to
death under a mountain of demoralizing bullshit
dumped on you by the sadistic cosmos. Now, take
a rapid series of nervous, shallow breaths. There is
a deep sense of doom descending on ycur entire
being. You are completely giving in to your own
helplessness and worthlessness. You are alone. So
alone. Every part of your body is racked with ten
sion. Now you are beginning to sweat hailstones.
You are drowning beneath a sea of lava spit forth
from the great volcano of hopelessness. Let the
lava run over you and bum through your painted
shelL Concentrate on it vividly. You are now in a
state of complete distress.
falls of getting the hex turned on you.
As it turns out, Patti Smith will perform by her
lonesome on Tuesday, July 25 at the 40 Watt Club.
One-time perspective opening act Cat Power
rescheduled for Monday, July 24, competing with
slot car racing at the Caledonia Lounge.
Tasty World is hosting an all-day punk fuckin' rawk
showcase on Saturday, July 15, starting at 7 p.m.
('Cause punks ain't afraid of the sun.) Scheduled
bands: Exit 86, Nutrajet, West
Beverly, Code Name Chaos,
Damad, Pretty Vacant and
Lecturer and entomology enthu
siast Irene Moon is offering up
her recent release entitled Floraloldehyde, with
musical accompaniment from The Noisettes.
Contact rield Station A: Irene Moon Laboratories,
P.0. Box 211, Athens, GA 30603 if that sounds like
it might flip your pancake.
The Flicker Theatre is recruiting volunteers to
spread its gospel 'ha flyers to all points far and
wide. Tnose interested in wallpapering the UGA
campus with Flicker propaganda are particularly
welcome. Interested parties can contact the
swank theater/watering hole after 5:30 p.m. on
any non-Sunday at 546-0039.
The Professor, Buzz Hagstrum, Dan Electro and
Montague The Human Metronome (collectively
known as A The Woggles) have just dropped their
latest slice of garage-rock neo-classicism,
Fractured (Telstar Records. As usual, its filled with
heartfelt odes to dancing, dumb girls and the pit-
The Sunny Day Real Estate gig slated for
Saturday, July 15 looks like it might be a surreal
experience for long-term Athenians, particularly
those that have accepted their opening acts
taking the stage around the same time that head
liners everywhere else in the Eastern Time Zone
are on their second encore. Opening act No Knife
takes the stage at 10 p.m. “sharp," and SDRE fol
lows promptly at 11:15 p.m. Also, there will be
absolutely no smoking allowed—not even the
wacky weed. Please keep to the right as you file
out for smoke breaks so as not to obstruct the
influx of freshly nic-fixed patrons to your imme
diate left. Incorrigible coffin-tack freaks looking
forward to that evening's Royal Trux gig at the
Caledonia will be sad to learn that the band has
canceled its entire national tour due to a medical
emergency in singer Jennifer Herrema's family.
If you can't abide being this far from the Equator
by the end of the month, head to FL for
Gainesville's Summer Music Showcase goes
down on the weekend of Friday, July 28 and
Saturday, July 29. The 'estival features music from
Gainesville artists. (They could've called it
GainsFest, if they'd been so inclined.) Scheduled
talent includes Someday Soon The Whispers,
Paco, Quenched, One Drop, Skywater, Pop
Canon, The Libido Brothers, Love You Dead, The
Root Doctors, Vir.i And The Demons, My Band
Flare, Argentina and a score of other bands with
unfamiliar (albeit groovy sounding) names.
Ghostmeat Records has a new MP3 from Athens'
power-poppers The Lures, "Dolores 1," at ghost-
meat.com. The song will also appear on the forth
coming revolver Dolores.
Twenty-two-year-old idealist Wil Layng, a UGA
graduate with a degree in Cultural and Applied
Anthropology, can now add "Freedom Fighter Of
The Month" to his credentials.
Those commie bastards in Rage
Against The Machine give the
Fieedom Fighter ovation to one
lucky pinko a month based on
sa’d pinko's fan mail to the
band detailing his or her
efforts to pin-prick the System;
Layng was reportedly chosen
for his "commitment to envi
ronmental awareness." Sadly,
my efforts to save up enough
bread for Loompanics' Guide
To Lockpicking continue to go
In less socio-politicaliy
proactive UGA student news,
the DAMN! comedy troupe,
after promising to disappear
for good, r eturns to the
Georgia Theatre on Friday, July
28. For tne uninitiated, they ain't the Upright
Citizens Brigade, who in turn ain't The Kids In The
Hall, who in turn ain't Monty Python.
That constantly metamorphosing organism
Japancakes plans to tour the UK and Western
Europe (you know, the nice part) from late
November into early December. Fill out your
Rocky's application now and you might still have
time to become a member.
Local dirty-ass rock and roll outfit Slackdaddy is
ready to drop its second LP Supercell any day now.
Meanwhile, Hayride's forthcoming record has been
pushed back to January.
Egghead pop legends The Go-Betweens have
reunited to record a new album called The Friends
Of Rachel Worth, due for a September 2000
release. Co founders Robert Forster and Grant
McLennan will both be part of the action, as will
all three members of Sleater-Kinney.
From the completely-unrelated-to-Athens-or-
Writer Catfish McDaris and
small press comic artist Mike
Tolento recently dropped a
weird and wonderful collabo
rative zine called Bitch-
Slapped. It's a gumbo of
poems, short stories, and
Tolento's bizarre and unmis
takable artwork, full of ruth
less observational humor and
an ultrasonic sense of absur
dity. Contact Phony Lid
Publications at P.0. Box 2153,
Rosemead, CA 91770 if you'd
like to eyeball it.
Former Atomic Music Hall pro
prietor Gabi Rynes and ex-
Grit'n'Tasty World employee
Mike Testo are pleased to announce the arrival of
A Dominick Michael Testo, seven pounds and
two ounces of special. Dominick popped out or
Thursday, June 29. The family currently resides in
upstate New York.
Send local music news, threats, promises, accusa
tions, apologies for wasting oxygen and desperate
cries for help to email@example.com, voice
mail: 549-2630, fax: 548-8981, or by post to P. 0.
Box 1027, Athens, GA 30603 Attn.: Emerson. As I
count from one to ten, you will become increas
ingly anxious. Your spleen will be tied in even
tighter knots chan it is now. One, two, three,
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