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Joan Cusack, James Frain and Keith
David. Starts Friday. (Mall)
X-MEN (PG-13) Based on the popular
Marvel Comics comic book series,
director Bryan Singer’s (The Usual
Suspects) is an entertaining but slightly
unbalanced tirst entry iri what is certain
to become a sci-fi superhero tranchise.
The movie spends a lot ot time intro
ducing its audience to each character
and offers more than a few heavy-
handed thematic overtures to the
Holocaust, human evolution and neo-
McCarthyism. The two main characters
(out of the dozen or so) are misfit
“mutants''—“superior" humans who.
for some reason or other, have obtained
and harnessed special powers such as
telepathy, telekinesis, extraordinary
physical strength or more violent tal
ents. At the center ot the story are
Rogue (Anna Paquin of The Piano,
SheSAII That), a confused young
woman afraid of her power to absorb
the memories of others by touch and
Wolverine (Aussie newcomer Hugh
Jackman, looking very "Dirty Harry’), a
qruff tough guy with a complicated past,
keen senses and a skeleton enhanced
by unbreakable metal. The good guys,
led by Professor X (Patrick Stewart),
include Jean Grey (Famke Janssen).
Cyclops (James Marsden), and Storm
(Halle “Hit-And-Run" Berry). The vil
lains—-also mutants- are led by
Professor X's old friend-tumed-fiend
Magneto (Ian McKellan), and include
Toad (Ray Park), Sabretooth (Tyler
Mane) and Mystique (Rebecca Romijn-
Stamos). Whew. The plot follows the X-
Men as they try to thwart Magneto's
attempt to take over the world during a
UN summit on Ellis island. Much of the
script is smart and brisk with few corny
one-liners, and the story gradually
builds great intensity, but the final
scenes are a bil anticlimactic and rid
dled with lame fight sequences. Fans of
the series will love this. Others may
frown in confusion. (Beechwood,
Carmike)
20
X
* 1
DOO DOO, PEE PEE, HEE HEE
THE NUTTY PROFESSOR II: THE KLUMPS (PG-
13) In such carefully naughty family comedies
as the Nutty Professor series and Doctor Dolittle.
Eddie Murphy knows how to tap his talent for
mimicry and agility. Unfortunately, The Nutty
Professor II: The Klumps bets everything on
Murphy's abilities and barely stays on track
enough to set up each punch line and sight gag.
The film stumbles, crumbles and fumbles from
one subplot to another with enough recycled
toilet humor between to make the Farrelly
brothers blush.
Disguised under layers of transformative
makeup (applied by veteran makeup artist Rick
Baker), Murphy, once again, plays several mem
bers of the Klump family. Sherman, an award
winning geneticist is the gentle genius of tiie
family; Mama Klump is a God-fearing, loving
wife with a thing for Billy Dee Whiiams; Papa
Klump and his son, Ernie are gruff, somewhat
lazy and balding and would rather chow down
on ribs than discuss current events; Grandma
Klump is a cranky but saucy ball of wrinkly
libido.
The story mostly follows Sherman as he ner
vously deals with his mounting affection aimed
at his colleague, Denise (Janet Jackson, picking
up where Jada Pinkett left off in the original
film). She and Sherman, for some weird reason,
have been working on a "fountain of youth"
formula that restores potency and vigor and, for
some weird reason, have fallen in love. The main
crisis of the story, however, involves Sherman's
"uninhibited egotistic Id"—a horribly selfish
and brash character known as Buddy Love who
still exists inside him. Love jumps out from
Sheiman's subconscious at the worst possible
times and, thanks to an accident in the DNA
laboratory, manifests himself in a slick, tacky
human figure resembling "Ken Norton in
Mandingo."
Other side plots involve Sherman's work
environment, his future in-laws, Buddy Love's
canine tendencies (don't ask), and Grandma
Klump's wacked sexual obsessions. Farts of the
film are tremendously funny, but most of the
story is meandering, weak and shockingly
unfunny. It's as if Murphy and director Peter
Segal (Tommy Boy) couldn't decide to make th’s
more of a romp in the spirit of recent gross-out
movies like There's Something About Mary and
Big Momma's House (perhaps not to be out-done
by them), or to concentrate on life at the
Klump house. They should have detoured toward
the latter.
Murphy is affectionate and non-conde
scending in his depiction of the vaiious Klumps,
The viewers often forget that they're watching
Murphy in four or five roles at once (several
scenes of the entire Klump family gathered
a.ound the television or arguing at the dinner
table completely bring the house down). The
film merely touches on the most intriguing and
touching Klump story—the relationship
between Mama and Papa Klump—who are
dealing with the inevitable obstacles of old age
and impotency. Murphy should dedicate an
entire film to their story.
Other comedy highlights include watching
Janet Jackson, who really couldn't be more
charming, attempt to lecture a class about
"random nucleotide polymorphism;" a monster
sized hamster on the make (comedian Larry
Miller's best scenes); a queasy confrontation
between Buddy Love and Grandma Klump; and a
dream sequence borrowed from Star Wars and
2001: A Space Odyssey.
The film almost screeches to a halt a number
of times, however, bumbling through unneces
sarily confusing scientific mumbo-jumbo, slog
ging through relentlessly goofy symphonic
music (was that the musical score leftover from
FlubberV.), and low humor involving fiery farce,
fellatio and bestiality. The film is driven as
much by vulgarity as it is by charm. Too bad.
Go for the numerous big laughs and stay for
the outtakes, but be warned.
Ballard Lesemann
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