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THE SOUTHERN WORLD, OCTOBER 1, 1882,
15
The Hired Jinn’s Tricks.
Geo. W. Feck, in Peck't Sun: One who
reads about the honest farmer, and how he
is cheated by the wicked monopolists, would
hardly think that one of the hard-handed
toilers could be guilty of doing a wrong or
putting up a job on innocent wheat buyers.
A correspondent was at Tama City, Iowa,
a few days since, and was a witness to a
scene between a farmer and a wheat buyer
named Jake Borton. Jake came along as
the farmer was pouring the wheat from his
sacks into the spout at the side of the eleva
tor, and he notioed the wheat was "plugged,”
that is, that the top of a sack was all right,
but the middle and bottom were the poorest
kind. The following conversation ensued.
"Hello! my friend," said Jake. "Plug
ged your wheat did you! ”
The farmer paused in his labor and wiped
his sun-burned brow and replied : " I guess
not. I don’t think it is.”
" Don't think it is," yelled Jake. “Look at
this,"and look at this,” he said, holding up
both hands full of grain.
" Well, itdoesseem to bedifferentgrades,”
said the.astonished farmer. "I don’t see
how it could have happeued.”
“Your boys did it,” suggested Jake.
“No," he replied, “that cannot be, for I
have always taught them to be straight, and
I know them to be good, honest boys.”
“ Hired man ?” again suggested the never-
tiring Jacob.
“ Y-a-s,” said the liard-handed son of toil,
“it must have been him,” and in went
another sack of the mixed wheat.
“ These hired men will ruin us all. Only
yesterday Joe Smith socked a load of plug
ged wheat on me that his hired man had
fixed up for my special benefit. Poor, inno
cent Joe felt terrible about it. Last week
Deacon Jones unloaded a fine load of barley.
That is, it was fine at the top and bottom of
the sacks, but this hired man had plugged
the middle with stuff that would not sell for
screenings. The good deacon would hardly
believe that the young man could do such a
wicked thing. I have worn off my shirt
sleeves and my arms are callous to the elbow
ramming them into sacks for nest-eggs that
those ungodly hired men have lain for me.
Now and then theboysdo it—boys that walk
not in the ways of their fathers, but get to
roaming around Sunday, smoking cigars,
%d|^^ing beer, and finally wind up in abus-
in^ne confidence of their honest fathers in
dosing me unknown to them.
“Cases have occurred where the wives
have actually stole away to the granary
while their husbands were toiling their lives
away, and put up a load or two of mixed
grain, but these cases are rare, and the main
run of scoundrels are the hired men, impos
ing on the honest farmer. Now some folks
would think that you fixed up this mess,
but of course, I know better. I have had ex
perience, it's always the same story, and
nine times out of ten any farmer will tell
you that it is ttye hired man. We have got
to put them down. Your fair name is at
stake. See here, my friend, I will give that
villainous varlet of yours a lesson in com
mon decency. I will dock you twenty-five
cents a bushel for this load, and you take it
* out of his wages.”
“I d-o-n’t think that will do," said the
farmer “ be might kick.”
r “Let him kick,” replied Jake, “ You send
him to me, I’ll settle his hash. You take it
* out, and if he won’t settle with me I’ll re
fund. Here’s your ticket, corner bank;
drive on and let that team come up. 1 want
to see what kind of a hired man he has
^o t.”
The farmer drove off and Jake, softly
^whistling, balanced bis scales for the next
deal, and pretty soon the farmer was seen
sitting on a pile of grind stones in front of a
store, figuring on a piece of shingle with red
chalk, and it was more than likely he was
figuring up how much he had made.
An Amateur Salvage Company
Mr. J. C. Thompson's friends tell this
story of him; Mr. Thompson himself says it
is exaggerated: Much disturbed by Ares oc
curring in the neighborhood, Mr. Thompson
decided to organize a fire compnny in his
family, realizing that a little precaution
migh> save him considerable in time of
danger. He accordingly thoroughly drilled
the different members on their respective
duties and waited, and os no opportunity
offered, he selected a morning to give a false
alarm and test their efficiency. Leaning
from the back-parlor window, he shouted
"fire” at the top of his lungs.
4 The echo of his voice had not died away,
when a sofa and two chairs grazed his car on
their way downward, fouroil paintings swept
down' the leader, a wash-stand and two
trunks slid past him, two bed slats und a
mattress struck him on the head, and in an
upward glance seeing the legs of the library
table appear at the second story window, he
withdrew and started up stairs. Half way
up he met the round marble slab front the
center table which glided between his feet
without a word, and struck the servant girl
behind him, who was carrying the china up
stairs for safety, and she and her burden
landed in the hall.
Gaining the second floor he was in time to
see his eldest daughter carefully remove the
bureau drawers one by one and drop them
from the window. Before he could speak
he met a stream of water from a fire engine
which took him in the face, and heard the
front door being opened by the fire depart
ment axes, while the parlor windows step
ped out to admit the ladders. Turning to
fly, he met his wife with a gridiron and an
almanac in one hand, while the other was
occupied with a baby and a glass of wooden
tooth-picks, and at the same instant there
was a deafening crash, which proved to be
two mirrors and the parlor stove, tied to
gether, reaching the ground, while a fire
man, ax in hand, inquired, “Where is the
fire?"
Bangs are going out of fashion with wo
mankind, though occasionally men "bang”
one another. Strange, what u rumpus there
is kicked up in a family when the male por
tion of the house comes home with his head
"banged.” The female portion * madasa
March hare or a wet hen, but it's all right
for the dear women to “bang” to their
heart’s content.
"I wouldn’t marry the best man living,"she said,
And she kept her vow from the first;
But she did not live to die an old maid,
For she married one of the wont.
A Skin of Beauty is a Joy Forever,
DR. T. FELIX GOURAUD’S
of the Antif Ion (n patient).- “At you Indirt will me
them. I recommend * ftouraiuVt Cream a* thetrnxt harm-
fat of all the Skin prrparatlont." One bottle will last
six months, using itevery day Also, l'oudre Subtile
removes superfluous hair without Injury to the skin.
Mmk. M. B.T. OOUItAUD,8oleProp.,-l8 Bond St..N.Y
For sale by all druggists and Fancy floods Dealers
throughout the l), H„ Canadas and Europe. Beware
of base Imitations. 11,000 reward for arrest and proof
of any one selling the same.
VIOLIN BOW, BOOK OF INSTRUCTION
kM VIOLIN CASE.
to reward those who send subscribers' names to us,
we have Just made arrangements for a valuable arti
cle that will Induce many new workers to become our
agents. This desirable premium consists of a Violin,
a Bow, a Book of Instructions, and a case to hold the
violin. The violin Is handsome, finely finished, ol
excellent tone, and Imitation ebony trimmings. The
top and back of these violins are worked out Just the
same as the best that are made, and are also of the
same model. They produce a splendid tone, full, rich,
and brilliant. Tune one of these Violins up to concert
P itch and keep It there for one week, and we are ready
compare the tone with that of any violin made,
hlle examining this low-priced Instrument please
>tlce the manner In which they are trimmed and
uuiauic.nuu am ouuauic, |ua« no suvy e»sw • •”
be tuned up and played upon any occasion. This Is a
great bargain.
GIVEN AN A PREMIUM FOR IS SUB-
NURIRERN.
We Offer it for Sale for $3.50.
PRICE, Including one year’s subscription toSooTH-
KRN World, fl.75. Musi be sent by express, receive
to pay charges.
R. & J. BECK,
MANUFACTURING OPTICIANS,
I'lillndel i»li 1st.
Microscopes, Telescopes, Spectacles. Eye-Glasses.
- Thermometers. Barometers, Opers-Olssses,
Field-Glasses, Photographers Outfits for Amateurs,
Send for Illustrated Price Catalogue, which will be
mailed frkr. and mention this paper.
MANY ADVERTISERS HAVE DIF
FERENT ARTICLES ADVERTISED IN
DIFFERENT PAPERS, AND TO GET A
PROPER ANSWER TO YOUR LETTERS,
IN WRITING RE SURE TO NAY THAT
YOU SAW TIIF. ADVERTISEMENT IN
THE SOUTHERN WORLD. HY SO DO-
ING, YOU FREQUENTLY RENEF1T
YOURSELVES AND OUR PAPER.
GOOD TIME-KEEPER FOR $3.50
FOR $4 SE.gH&i’VJm 1ijm^%r8^i>'! nEABS SUB -
A HANDSOME STEM WINDING WATCH,
FINELY FINISHED.
The out shows the face of the W atch, giving th-> exact site and atyle. The face la i
crystal, showing the handsome movements, without the neceesltyef on '
of American make, known the world over for their excellence and fine . „„
wam^'iidaflV'exposeir^ meU1 ' 11 ** thorou * hl} ’ Protected from the dirt and duat to which a key-wladlng
We know this Stem-winding Watch will meet with and
grow In favor at Its peculiar merits and good qualities become
known. There Is now a growing demand for Just such a
Watch, and we believe that the vast army of profseslonal
men, clerks, mechanics, farmers and laborers, will appreciate
aoooDWatch at a low price which they can rely upon for
accurate time.
THE WATCH IS A GOOD TIME-KEEPER.
We «re now, for the first time In the world's history, able to
furnish a low-priced, reliable watch, suitable for use on litll-
roads, steamers, by the farmer In the field, the mechanic at
the bench, the boy attending school or working on the farm,
ladles and others who make appointments and keep them*
HOW THEY ARE MADE AND WHY THEY ARE SO CHEAP.
This watch Is lsss complicated than other watches, contain
ing only fifty-six separate parts, while ordinary watches con
tain over one hundred. The parts are made by machinery,
operated by skilled artlaiana, which give these watches tbs
TIj5&®?NO?AND*A wVprS& ‘ ACCURAT *
THE WATCHES ARE TESTED BY THE MANUFACTURERS,
Who have one of the largest and beat watch factories In the
world. Among the many rooms of the immense Watoh
Factoiy la a '• Testing Room," where the watches are taken
when finished, and where the Inspector keeps thsm for on#
week, winding them night and morning, and causing them to
be run In different positions, Inspecting and regulating them
each day; and only those coming up to the Inspector^ stan
dard are sent out.
THE WATCH IS GIVEN AS A PREMIUM FOR
TEN SUBSCRIBERS AT REGULAR RATES.
We Guarantee the Safa Delivery of the Watoh to any Addresses, Postage
Paid by u». Addrots, SOUTHERN WORLD,
Atlanta, Georgia.
A SPLENDID BARGAIN.
Elegant Four Blade knife. Just the THING FOR LADIBB OR GENTLEMEN. This beautiful pocket
knife we offer as a special Inducement for subscriber*. We will send It as a premium for S subscriber*, it is
an extra fine knife, made of the best steel, ornamented with German silver and highly polished. It usually
costs In stores fl A yet we furnish THIS HANDSOME KNIFE AND THE SOUTHEKN WORLD FOR
ONE YEAR FOR |i;2S.
Give Ihc Knife as a Premium for 3 Subscribers. Offer It for Sale at 70 rents
•^Postage prepaid by us.
XUiBG-ANTT PBAHIj XXANTXJXiBX) KNIFE.
- ivmTi inmftivi'iViiiTrii»
Given M a Premium for 3 Subscribers. We offer It for sale for 73 cento.
This elegant knife Is a perfect gem. It is made of the finest steel, has two blades and an exquisite pearl han
dle, and will meet the wauls of those who have been Inquiring for the prettiest and handsomrst knife for
ladles' use. It la the very nicest ladles' knife In the market, and we aaaure you It will please all who may
obtain It. Equal to those sold In stores at flAO and 12.00.
PRICK. Including 1 year* subscription to SmrTHxaw Wobld. 11.28. Postage prepaid In each —* h f •■*,
POCKET SIZES, ALSO MADE WITH EXTRA BARRELS,
BELT SIZE,INTERCHANGEABLE.SEND FOR CIRCULARS
MERWiN.HUl.BERT & 60. NEW YORK.CITX
Itut'a non* of
tin freight. Buy now and p»y »t Olnnlnc. Pend for fr«« Evtry alt* *in«lljr low.
Addreaa JONI8 of Binghamton, Binghamton. N. V.
OVARINE
eathen: Pro moles the
non, ana improve, tne general health of all Fowls. Pi
l>r mail, 7.~ie. Tax Royai. PnrsxnvaTtVK Co. H9
.SOUTHDOWN SHEEP.
CANNH’N ». CLAY,
DOWN BHEEP, White
»" » NIILLP. A aiu AMONTU A
f. breeder of pure SOUTH- or Ladle.,. PI<
llall, Kentucky. I sJWC P.W.Zixou
t board In yobreouoty. Men
Pleasant buslne,,. Address,
LIB A Co., Box S«, Phils., Fa.