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SAM JOSES DENOUNCES DANCING.
The Road to Ruin Through tlio
Ballroom.
“Listen: When that girl began the
giddy whirl of the dunce in the ballroom
that tvas $he time to get scared. When
youfounayour boy spending the more time mon¬ to
ey than he ought, that was
get shocked.
“Sow cards and trnnsoendentalist reap gamblers. and I
know I’m called a fam¬
called a puritan, but God save my
ily from cards and profanity, and whis¬
key and dances, and let the world call
me what it will.
“Sow parlor dances and reap ball¬
rooms. Sow ballrooms and reap round
dances and dudes and dudines.
Sow dudes and dndines and reap half a
thimbleful of calves’-foot jelly. again [Ap¬
plause and laughter renewed and
and again.] I wish you wouldn’t laugh
any more to-night, for I never felt so
solemn in my life. , For God’s sake, hear
me with a solemnity and earnestness
worthy of the cause. But you say I say
so many funny I tilings. keep If you back only
knew how many have to you
wouldn’t blame me for the few that creep
out.
“Hear, me, boys, girls, young ladies
of.Kansas City! I used to dance. I’ve
danced many times with the girls fair of my
town. Hear me. If I was a aver¬
age dancing man, and I think I was,
then no pure girl can go out on the floor
and dance another set. [A voice, ‘Hur¬
rah.’] Young woman, if you could but
follow the young man aftofc he has seen
you home, to some barroom or club and
hear the discussion of your form and
person lose and your virtue itself, you’d ball¬ nev¬
er floor. your respect [Sensation.] and go on a
room The dudes
get mad at me in some places and talk
about wanting to slap my jaws.
they [Laughter.] But, I say to their I’m credit,
know better than to slap. not
afraid to drop down into a hundred acres
of dudes and not a thing to light with,
and all of them armed with six-shooters.
[Laughter.] “The the nineteenth
tury is tendency dudeism. of You cen¬
to dress a young
buck out, part his hair in the middle,
put look on an eyeglass, his give him pants melted which
and as though legs had been toothpick
shoes, poured into them, put on
and every girl in the town ad¬
mires God help him. [Prolonged merriment.]
daughter you, girls. night I’d rather sitting see in my
dead to than a
parlor talking to a dude. [Applause.]
The good Bishop of New York says the
confessional shows that nineteen out of
twenty girls meet their downfall in the
ballroom.
“In all my observation I never knew
a poor ruined girl who didn’t go to ruin
through the ballroom or the theatre.
* * * A woman who has lost her
character has lost all, but the boy is
lionized by society. If there is one
deeper, blacker hell than another, it’s
for that man who crushes purity and
virtue under his unhallowed feet. [Ap¬
plause.] The only thing in the world
which deserves a double barrelled shot¬
gun and a load of bnckshot is such a
man. * * *
“A round dance is an anteroom to
damnation. I never want to see the arm
of a lecherous man around the waist of
my wife or daughter. * * * I ape
no man. I’ll be myself, be tine to my¬
self, and true to truth. All I want to
lo is to stand on the barrel, knock the
bung out and let nature cut her capers.
[Applause and laughter.] I may he
an idiot and a fool, but if I’m not an
idiot and a fool, you’d better think of
these things.”
Kansas City’s Footpads.
Among the numerous incidents con¬
nected with the reign of foodpads, one
occurred Twelfth last evening at the local corner of
and Penn, says a paper.
Two gentlemen and a lady were return¬
ing home from the theatre, and when
served they readied the form the of corner in the the lady shadow ob¬
a man
of a tree.
“Great heavens! Tliereis a footpad,”
she exclaimed as she threw her hands
into the air.
In 1 an instant the two gentlemen
es¬
corting her had their revolvers levelled
at the man, who stopped out, saying:
“What in-is the matter with you
people? I’m a policeman?” and he
flashed his star. The gentleman begged
pardon, and struck with the ludicrous¬
ness of the situation, began to laugh.
“Stop! This is no laughing matter,”
said the officer. “It’s no longer safe for
a policeman to be out at night.”
Speaking About Babies.
Mayor Hewitt, of New York, said to
party of friends:—“I had a baby once,
that is, it was left on my doorstep sev
eral years ago.” A laugh followed fchat
caused his Honor’s brow to cloud for a
moment, but it passed, and he went on
without making any comment. “It was
a wee bit of a baby, and we took it in
and cared for it. It was so pretty and
affectionate that we decided to keep it.
Soon after, however, we learned that an
old woman, who had been hanging
around our kitchen for some time, was
the child’s grandmother. She had left
it with us, but wanted it back again.
We tried to persuade her This to leave it with
us, but she would not. must have
gotten out somehow, for about three
•weeks later no less than seven babies
were found on my doorstep when the
house was opened in the morning. That
settled it. I have had no more babies
at my house since. But I love them
just the same.”
“Now Mary Ann,” said the teacher,
addressing the foremost of the class in
mythology, “who was it that supported
the world on his shoulders ?” "It was
Atlas, ma’am.” “And doesn’t who supported
Atlas?” “The book say, but 1
guess his wife supported him.”
Happy Homo**.
Much has been written and said about how
to make home happy. The moralist and the
preacher would have nothing hackneyed this remained theme to until be said. it.
seem more
But the philosophers have gone far out r f their
way to account for the prevalence, of ill-sorted
couples the and unhappy homes, and of the have unhappi¬ over¬
looked chit f cause. Most
ness of functional married life derangements can be traced which directly to
thos.’ to wo¬
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irritable, dissatisfied and unhappy wife is a
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