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KNOXVILLE, GEORGIA.
There is an old law on the statute
books of Connecticut, making it a mis¬
demeanor, punishable by a fine of $100,
to fish on Sunday.
The Chinese Emperor is being initiated
into the mysteries of poker by three
Chinese noblemen, who have studied
cards in this country.
There arc 7,000,000 colored people in
the United States. An organization has
been formed to hold a World’s Fair at
Atlanta, Ga., and the Government will
probably loan $400,000 to help it along.
Atlanta has offered 200 acres of land.
A recent article'on the “Seven Cities
of Cibola,” is responsible for the state¬
ment that the Zuni Indians believed that
the stones in the brooks caused the water
to run. It is also a fact that this curious
people believed that the summer did not
bring the birds, but the birds brought
the summer.
The Georgia colored man is getting on,
remarks the Detroit Free Press. The
taxes assessed against the property of
colored men this year amounts to over
$9,000,000, being an increase of $2,000,
000 in a single year. There is not one
of the race who cannot get ahead if sober
and industrious.
The most progressive official in China
is undoubtedly the Governor of Formosa.
On Chinese New Year’s Day his
“Yamen” or palace in Taipak-fu was
illuminated by the electric light, and it
is his intention to have the whole city
lighted by electricity as soon as it may
be possible.
One of the first, if not the first, of the
great medical institutions of America to
open its doors to women was the Medi¬
cal College of the Univerity of Alichi
gan. The Alichigan College of Physicians
and Surgeons, situated in Detroit, has,
through its Board of Trustees, decided
to pursue the same course, and hereafter
women and men will stand upon the
same footing as regards the enjoyment of
its privileges.
There is every indication that more
cars will he built in the United States
this year than ever before in one year.
As it requires two tons of bar iron and
three tons of wheels and axles for each
car, the demand for the products of the
mills, foundries and forges will be very
heavy for this purposes alone. It is es¬
timated that 200,000 cars will be built.
This number would require 400,000 tons
of bar iron and 600,000 tons of forged
and cast iron, making a total of 1,000,000
tons.
Dr. Junemann, an Austrian chemist,
claims to have invented a fluid of the
most destructive properties. This fluid
when brought into contact with the air
after the explosion of a shell in which it
has been contained, is transformed into
a gas, which being heavier than the air,
descends to the ground, killing all men
and animals within its reach, and more¬
over destroying iron, bronze and other
metals, as well as setting all inflammable
things on fire. This, the inventor de¬
clares, in a letter published in one of the
Vienna newspapers, and he adds that as
far back as 1848 he offered his invention
to the Austrian War Office, which, how¬
ever, declined both then and on a subse¬
quent occasion to make experiments.
For this reason he now gives publicity
to his invention, as his patriotic feelings
do not allow him to reveal his secret to
foreign governments.
firewater,” An Indian, who is “in love with American
has been arrested forty times at
Port Huron, Michigan, for drunkenness.
BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
The Last Straw—At the Ball
Game—The Charm of Music—
An Eye to Business—
Etc., Etc., Etc.
He had been walking up and down the
room with the baby for two hours.
pillows, “John,” said his wife, from among the
“you don’t look very well of
late. I’m afraid you don’t get exercise
enough.”
John laid the baby in the crib, with its
feet on the pillow, and went to sleep.—
Harper's Bazar.
At the Ball Game.
He excitedly)—“By Jove, did you see
that left fielder catch that fly?”
She (petulantly)—“Of course I didn’t.
I don’t see how you can catch a fly so far
away, when it is all I can do to see the
ball. What do they do with the poor
little flies, anyway, John, when they
catch them?”— Washington Critic.
The Charm of Music.
Fair Visitor (to convict)—“I suppose,
sir, _ that the singing of the birds relieves
the monotony of your dreary life?”
Convict (profoundly nonplussed)—
“The singing of the birds, miss?”
Fair Visitor—“Yes, sir, the little jail
birds, you know. They must be such a
boon .”—New York Sun.
An Eye to Business.
Citizen (to undertaker)—“Fine estab¬
lishment you’ve got here, Air. Alould.”
things Undertaker—“Yes; we are getting
in shape. I hope, Air. Smith,
that when you want anything in my line
you will bear me in mind; and should
you not he in a condition to er—um—
attend to the matter personally, I trust
your friends will not forget me.”— Life.
He Hacked Accomplishment.
“Alabel, I love you.” The words came
forth like the plaintive, vibrant sigh of
an HSolian harp.
“It can never be.”
“But I am rich, and lean furnish you
with every luxury. Besides, I am doing
well in my profession, and may one day
be famous.”
the “I know it, Harold, but you can’t tell
difference between a home run and a
three-base hit .”-—Merchant Traveler.
An Qutshle Study.
Old Boggs—“I’ve come up to see
about these bills o’ yourn, Harry.”
Harry—“Yes, sir; but you know a
scientific education is very expensive.”
Old Boggs- “I dessay it is, Harry; but
if you took mathematics instead of poker
it would not only be less expensive, but
might prove of more use to you later.”—
Life.
Poetry Which Pays.
Society Dame—“Who is that young
man who is so attentive to you now?”
Great Belle—“He is a poet.”
“Alercy on us! And do you, the proud
daughter of a hundred millionaire,
propose to throw yourself away on a poor,
miserable starveling of a poet?”
“Oh, he isn’t that kind of a poet. He
writes soap advertisements.”
Ask “Aly him own, dinner own daughter, after all.
to .”—Omaha World.
It Does Slake a Difference.
The Governor—“A pretty fellow you
are to disgrace me in this way! What
on earth tempted you to run away with
that girl?”
Alfred—“Why, leaving out all senti¬
ment, sir, it was—her twenty thousand
a year.”
The Governor — “Oh—ah—it was
pretty much rough, after all, to have met with
so opposition.” -Life.
Two Constructions of a Wish.
“I could gaze at the moon for hours,
Air. Sampson.” she said in a voice full
of sweetness and pneumonia. “I never
tire of it.”
“Ah,” he responded, “would that I
were the man in it 1”
“Yes,” she assented softly.
“And why, Afiss Clara?” he asked,
getting ready to take her hand.
“Because, Air. Sampson,” she said,
shyly veiling her eyes with their long
lashes,” you would be four million miles
away.”— Epoch.
A Bright Youth.
An Austin parent has a dreadfully
stupid boy. The other day the old man
told him to bring him the bootjack, but
the boy couldn’t find it, although he
stumbled right over it.
“What have you got your eyes for?”
asked the irate parent.
The he boy thought and thought, and
finally said:
“To open them in the morning when
I wake up.”
When the boy grows up he will make
a boss night watchman or a policeman.
— Texas Siftings.
A Cure for Scandal.
Mrs. Dusenberry—“What queer ways
they have in some countries 1 This
paper says that in Morroeco when the
women talk scandal their lips are rubbed
with cayenne pepper.”
Air. Dusenberry—“An odd custom
indeed. (Half an hour later.) Where
are you going my dear?”
Airs. Dusenberry—“To the sewing
circle. Let me see; I’ve got my scis¬
sors, thread, thimble-”
Air. Dusenberry—“And cayenne pep¬
per ?”—Detroit Free Press.
Method in Her Madness.
Bachelor (whom Brown has brought
home to dinner)—“Does your wife al¬
ways kiss you, Brown, when you return
from the office:”
Bachelor Brown—“Yes, always, never fails.”
(with a sigh)—“Ah, it must
be delightful to have a cosy home like
this and a lo vely wife to greet you with
a kiss!”
Brown (also with a sigh)—“Yes she
kisses me to discover if I have been
drinking anything.”- Epoch.
No Fool Remedies for Him.
Brown—“I can tell you what will cure
that cold, Dumley. You take a big
drink of hot flaxseed tea to-night at y
o’clock and go to bed.”
Dumley—“Nonsense; I’m onmy way to
see a doctor now. When I am sick I
don’t take any fool remedies.”
Dumley (later, to physician)—“Doctor,
I’ve got a severe cold.”
Physician (gravely)— “Um; bad, very
bad, particularly at this season of the
year. Had it long?”
Dumley—“About Physician—“Um; a week.”
in the head or on the
chest?”
Dumley—“It’s got me both ways, Doc¬
tor. ”
Physician—“Um; let me try your
lungs. ” (Doctor seizes Dumley with what
is known in Grscco-Roman wrestling par¬
lance as the grab him-quick-and-chuck
him-over-your-head-and-kill-him hold,
and listens intently for ten minutes.)
“Um; appetite good?”
Duml ey—“F airish. ”
Physician—“Um: sleep well?”
Dumley—“Haven’t slept a wink for
two nights; neither has my wife.”
Physician—“Um; wife troubled with
a cold, too?”
Dumley—“Yes, troubled with mine.”
Physician—“Um; let me feel of your
tongue—er—I should say, see your
tongue and feel of your pulse. Um; yes,
pulse feeble and tongue coated. Where
did you get this cold?”
Dumley—“I was over in Pennsylvania
last week, and I think I got it there.”
Physician—“Um; yes, people can’t be
too careful about going to Pennsylvania.
Throat sore?”
Dumley—“It’s gettin’ sore, Doctor.”
Physician—“Um; taken anything yet?”
Dumley—“No.”
Physician—“Um; well, Air. Dumley,
to-night at 9 o’clock you take a big
drink of hot flaxseed tea and go to bed.
In the morning I think you will be all
right.”
Dumley (gratefully)—“Thanks, Doc¬
tor; how much?”
Physician—“Two dollars, please.”—
New York Sun.
Water of Rarest Purity.
The best water is that which has gone
deepest tightest in the earth, where there is the
ric. Continued pressure and atmospheric and tellu¬
intensified filtration
has refined it; butitishere and not in
its open air exposure, before or after,
that the water gets effective oxidation.
The remarkable fact that water absorbs
oxygen in something like a geometrical
ratio to the increase of pressure, coupled
with the other equally important fact
that under a certain pressure and temper¬
ature organic germs cease to exist; both
these conditions, protracted for the water
by a long detention in the depths of the
earth, secure the rarest refinment and
also vitilization of the element.— San¬
itary Era.
A steel car-wheel is expected to run
50,000 miles, but very few of them ever
make that distance.
THE CHALLENGE
I heard to-day upon the street,
Where beggars sang a careless song,
A note, a tone, so wondrous sweet
That I stood silent in the throng,
But, ah, I saw not those who sang;
I heard not their wild madrigal;
A thousand voices round me rang,
And sweeter still, one maiden’s call.
For which I’d change the fame of men.
My load unloosed like Pilgrim’s thrall;
I fed my hungry heart again;
I saw my boyhood home and all—
And heard the blackbirds, nestling, sing
Their tender songs of evening!
Clear, martial call of buried hosts!
How sure thy challenge passed the years:.
I saw like sentries at their posts
A myriad forms; the pines like spears *
Shot through the after sunset’s red;
The darkening fields; the gleam of
The murky dusk, star-panoplied;
The lazy kine along the lanes.
The school house dun,the village spire;
The home bent, dusty harvest folks;
The cornfields flamed with sunset fire;
And in our tryst beneath the oaks,
We heard the blackbirds, nestling, sing
Their tender songs of evening!
Thus, Angel of our later days,
With ever hovering unseen hand
Are flashed upon our blinded ways
The hidden shrines we understand,
We climb the rugged steeps of truth,
And falter, l.o, they helping bring
The lesser to the larger Youth!
A note, a tone, the humblest thing,
Sweeps irresistless all between,
And there the Now prays with the Then
Where once our heaven was lived unseen.
And where like pilgrims come again,
We hear the blackbirds, nestling, sing,
Their tender songs of evening!
—New Eng’and Magazine
PITH AND POINT.
An ill-word—Sick.
The dog star is a meaty planet, but »
shooting star is meteor.
When a man buys a cradle he pays bed¬
rock prices.— Picayune.
A good oyster is sometimes called
native—a bad one is certainly a settler.
A young Madras Brahmin speaks oj
his marriage as “the eternal knot of
sorrow tied. ”
The June bug disappears in June,
The lightning bug in May;
The mosquito takes his bonnet off
And says: “I’ve come to stay,”
displayed “Eight loves for a quarter,” is sign
by a Kansas baker. This is
the cheapest matrimonial bureau we ever
heard of.
It is all very well to advise people not
to build houses on sand, but how can a
man build a house at all unless he has
the “sand!”
Because Augustus Sophia used to rave and scold,
was so cold;
But since they’re wed, he says with vim,
She makes it much too hot for him.
, —Detroit Free Press.
If a man and a half throws a hoot-jack
and a half at a cat and a half in a
night and a half, how many cats and a
half will be hit in a month and a half?
—Mobile Register.
Doctor—“Well, my dear sir, what
seems to be the seat of your disease?"
Patient—“It doesn’t seem to have any
seat, doctor. It’s just jumping up and
down all the while .”—Burlington Free
Press.
At the present moment there are not
less than three hundred and seventy-five
champion There will baseball nines in the country.
be only onle left next Octo¬
ber, and that one will be somewhat the
worse for wear.— Harper's Bazar.
Oh, why down her cheeks do the tear dropi
fall?
Oh. is there an ache in her heart, I wonder’
Her shoes are new and a size too small,
My friend, and they’re pinching he feel
like thunder.
—Boston Courier.
String Thunder.
A person’s hands being held over hi
ears, let another person pass a piece cf
string, say six feet long, around th;
head and hold both ends of the string
in his hand. By drawing the fingers cr
nails of the other hand over the striig
results almost startling in their intensify
may be produced head on is the ears bound. of the per¬
son whose so Shaip
peals of thunder, changing into a distait
and prolonged readily rumbling, given. are good effects deal thit if
may be A
amusement may be had from experiments
like this in the home circle and among
guests.— Courier Journal.