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SAM JONES DENOUNCES DANCING.
The Koad to Ruin Through the
Ballroom.
“Listen: When that girl began the
giddy whirl of the dance in the ballroom
that was the time to get scared. When
you found your boy spending more time mon¬
ey than he ought, that was the to
get shocked.
“Sow cards and transeendentalist reap gamblers. and I
know I’m called a
called a puritan, but God save my fam¬
ily from cards and profanity, and whis¬
key and dances, and let the world call
me what it will.
“Sow parlor dances and reap ball¬
rooms. Sow ballrooms and reap round
dances and dudes and dudines.
Sow dudes and dudines and reap half a
thimbleful of calves’-foot jelly. [Ap¬
plause and laughter renewed again and
and again.] to-night, I wish you I wouldn’t felt laugh
any more for never so
solemn in my life. For God’s sake, hear
me with a solemnity and earnestness
worthy of the cause’s But you say I say
so many funny things. If you only
knew how many I have to keep back yov.
wouldn’t blame me for the few that creep
out.
“Hear, me, boys, girls, young ladies
of Kansas City! I used to dance. I’ve
danced many times with the girls of my
town. Hear me. If I was a fair aver¬
then age dancing man, and I think I was,
dance no pure girl can go out on the floor
and another set, [A voice, ‘Hur¬
rah.’] Young woman, if you could but
follow the young man after he has seen
you home, to some barroom or club and
hear the discussion of your form and
person and your virtue itself, you’d nev¬
er lose your respect and go on a ball¬
room floor. [Sensation.] The dudes
get mad at me in some places and talk
about wanting to slap my jaws.
they [Laughter.] But, I say to their credit,
know better than to slap. I’m not
afraid to drop down into a hundred acres
of dudes and not a thing to tight with,
and all of them armed with six-shooters.
[Laughter.] “The
is tendency of the nineteenth cen¬
tury to dudeism. You dress a young
buck out, part his hair in the middle,
put A an eyeglass, give him pants which
look as though his legs had been melted
and poured into them, put on toothpick
shoes, and every girl in the town ad¬
mires him. [Prolonged merriment.J
God help you, girls. I’d rather see my
daughter dead to night than sitting in a
parlor The talking to a dude. [Applause.]
good Bishop of New York says the
confessional shows that nineteen out of
twenty girls meet their downfall In the
ballroom.
“In ail my observation I never knew
a poor ruined girl who didn’t go to ruin
through the ballroom or the theatre.
* * * A woman who has lost her
character has lost all, but the boy is
lionized by society. If there is one
deeper, blacker hell than another, it’s
for that man who crushes purity and
virtue under his unhallowed feet. [Ap¬
plause.] which deserves The only thing in the world
a double barrelled shot¬
gun and a load of bnckshot is such a
man. * * *
“A round dance is an anteroom to
damnation. I ne\er want to see the arm
of a lecherous man around the waist of
my wife or daughter. * * * I ape
no man. I’ll be myself, be true to my¬
self, and true to truth. All I want to
Jo is to stand on the barrel, knook the
bung out and lei nature cut her capers.
[Applause and laughter.] I may be
an idiot and a fool, but if I’m not an
idiot and a fool, you’d better think of
these things.”
Kansas Citj’s. Footpads.
Among the numerous incidents con¬
nected with the reign of foodpads, one
occurred last evening at the corner of
Twelfth and Penn, says a local paper.
Two gentlemen and a lady were return¬
ing home from the theatre, and when
they reached the corner the Indy ob¬
served the form of a man in the shadow
of a tree.
“Great Leavens.’ There is a footpad,”
she exclaimed as she threw her hands
into the air.
In an instant the two gentlemen es¬
corting her had their revolvers levelled
at the man, who stopped out, saying:
“What in-is the matter with you
flashed people? his I’m a policeman?” and he
star. The gentleman begged
pardon, and struck with the ludicrous
ness of the situation, began to laugh.
said “Stop! the This is no laughing matter,”
officer. 1 ‘It's no longer safe for
a policeman to he out at night. ”
.Speaking About IJabics.
Mayor friends: Hewitt, —“I of New had York, said to
party of a baby once,
that is, it was left on my doorstep sev¬
eral years ago. ” A laugh followed that
caused liis Honor’s brow to cloud for a
moment, but it passed, and he went on
without making any comment. “It was
a wee bit of a baby, and we took it in
and cared for it. It was so pretty and
affectionate that we decided to keep it.
Soon after, however, we learned that an
old woman, who had been hanging
around our kitchen for some time, was
the child’s grandmother. She had left
it with us, but wanted it back again.
We tried to persuade her to leave it with
us, but she would not. This must have
gotten out somehow, for about three
weeks later no less than seven babies
were found on my doorstep when the
house was opened in the morning. That
settled it. I have had no more babies
at my house since. But I love them
just the same.”
“Now Mary Ann,” said the teacher,
addressing the foremost of the class in
mythology, “who was it that supported
the world on his shoulders ?” “It was
Atlas, ma’am.” “And who supported
Atlas?” “The book doesn’t say, but I
guess his wife supported him.”
Happy Hornet*.
Much lias been written and said about how
to make home have hackneyed happy. The tills moralist theme until and the it
preacher would nothing remained to be said.
seem more
But the philosophers for the have prevalence gone far of out ill-sorted cf their
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