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KMliII JOURNAL.
KNOXVILLE. GEORGIA.
American orchardists must soon meet,
announces the American Agriculturist,
the competition in English markets of
apple growers in Australia and Tasmania.
The imports ol choice apples from theso
latter points has already increased to
such an extent as to affect British fruit
growers.
An English built collier, expected
shortly at Rochester, N. Y., is looked
upon as being a dangerous competitor
for the honor ot being the biggest steam
collier navigating fresh water, her hull
is of iron and she has a capacity of from
2000 to 2200 tons of coal. She will ply
between Charlotte, Detroit, Chicago,
Duluth, and other points on the upper
lakes in the coal-carrying business.
A new profession has been started in
St. Louis, that of solicitor of marriages
for the Justice of the Peace. A great
many people procure marriage licenses
and do not know exactly where to go to
have the ceremony performed. Then
the solicitor steps forward, arranges the
whole matter satisfactorily and gets a
certain percentage out of the Justice’s
fee for his trouble. It is a queer busi¬
ness, but, unfortunately, does not pay
very well as yet.
There is in a Southern insane asylum
an eight-year-old boy who has never
been awake since the hour of his birth.
He was the child of a paralytic mother,
and has delicate features and a high,
white forehead, with long, black curls.
His arm is not larger than an ordinary
man’s thumb. He lies on his bed year
after year, taking no note of anything
that passes. Twice a day he is aroused
enough to take a little nourishment, and
then relapses into sleep.
England, especially in the midland
counties, has been suffering from a severe
plague of small green caterpillars. To
walk in the woods means to have dozens
of the little pests falling down one’s neck,
and it is a relief, cables a London
correspondent of the New York Sun, to
hear that certain means of putting an end
to them has been unearthed from a news¬
paper of 1.812. A gardener of that period
hit upon the means of taking the cater¬
pillars ljy kindness, In each of his
infested bushes he put warm peces of
woollen rag at sundown. The cater¬
pillars crawled for shelter to the comfort¬
able woollen, and in the morning were
taken and shaken into the fire by thou¬
sands. The same plan has been success¬
fully adopted by persecuted British
farmers.
Selwynn Taylor, a mining engineer
and coal expert of Pittsburgh, thinks
natural gas is giving out. He says:
“Within two years at furthest coal lauds
will be selling for what they were con
sidered worth before natural gas WilS
thought of. This will be due lax-gely to
the failure of the gas fields to supply the
demands made upon them. Gas, like
oil, will in time exhaust itself. New
fields may be opened, but taking all in
all, I think the outlook for coal was
never so bright since natural gas came in
use. All the large gas fields are playing
out. Murraysville has seen its best days,
and all the wells in the Beaver and Ohio
valleys are going. The prospects for
fields large enough to take their place in
case of total failure are not bright by
any means. The big natural gas com¬
panies recognize this as a fact, and are
expending thousands of dollars on a pro
cess for making gas fuel. This is sig¬
nificant. In my judgment two years will
see an end to natural gas as fuel.”
The Keely Brewing Company, of Chicago,
prohibitory propose to punish legislature, Iowa and Kansas for their
barley in either of by refusing to buy
grown those States,
f BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
VARIOUS SOURCES.
A Russian Courtship—Keeping Him
Busy—Not for Himself—Her
Mother had. Been
There, Etc.,
“ Be mine!” said the ardent young &w
< In miiegoff,
a voice with emotion quite husky.
“ My fondest devotion,oi;, p!ease do not scoff,
Katinka Pojakaroluskif”
“ Tecliernysehe .-sky, my friend,” the shy
maiden replied,
“Your people are noble and rich.
Would a Golgusoff’s granddaughter be a
fit bride
For a nephew of Maximovitch?”
“ I care not a kopeck!” he said. “In my
I have droshky
you safe now, and I laugh
At the wealth of a Klitkin or Overhaul
oshki,
Gojavnik, or Pullerzedoff.
“ You are worth more to me than the gold
Brakemupski, of Slugmiski, SnmarakoiT!
or
Katinka Pojakaroluski, it’s risky,
But I’m going to carry you off!”
And this is the way the young Sawmilegoff
Put an end to all further discussion,
’Twasa simpler proceeding to carry her off,
Than to go ou courting in. Russian.
—Chicago Tribune.
Keeping Him Busy.
boy, “James,’’said the grocer to his new
haven’t you got anything to do
now?”
“No, sir.”
the “Well, ketch some flies an’ stick ’em on
fly paper in the window .”—New
York Sun.
Not for Himself.
Snarley—“I see you’re spending a lot
money on that little place of yours in
Surrey.”
place—a—thoroughly Snobley—“Yes, I wan’t to make the
fit for a gentle¬
man, don’tcherknow?”
Jet Snarley—“Oh, it?”— I suppose vou mean to
Punch.
Her Mother Had Been There.
Eight o’clock a. ir.—Airs. Popinjay—
“Where are you going, Angelina?”
Angelina—“Only iust around the
corner to match this piece of silk,
mamma.”
Mrs. Popinjay—“All right. I’ll tell
Bridget o’clock.”— not to have supper until 7
Free Press.
Agreed With Her.
Mrs. Yeast—“Do you buy your eggs
at Shortcounts?”
Mrs. Bacon—“Why, certainly.; his
eggs can’t be beat. ”
Mrs. Yeast—“I know it; that’s the
reason I don’t think they’re good.”
Not Wholly Voluntary.
Mrs. Van Prim—“I am astonished,
Clara, that you should voluntarily allow
Mr. Featherly to put his arms around
you.”
Clara—“It wasn’t exactly voluntarily,
mother; at least, considerable pressure
was Francisco brought to bear upon me .”—San
Examiner.
A Practical View of the Situation.
Lady Blanch—“Pin so fond of riding,
I could almost live in the saddle! The
habit grows upon one so, yoxi know.”
Lady Rose —“I wish mine had grown
on me! I had to have it moulded to my
frightfully shape, and I expect papa will he grumble
at the cost when has to
pay the bill.”— Fun.
Hope Springs Eternal.
Mr. Tilbury Carter—“That ship yonder
is the Pontiac, bound for the Hand of
Orange Blossoms. Gold ” (twenty-n*me,
Miss Marie des
pei-ate, and humming Mendelssohn's
“Wedding March” under bound her breath—
“I should n’t mind being in the
same direction myself 1”— Puck.
A Terrible Threat.
German “Vat,” said the collector for a little
band to a citizen who sat in his
front window. “You no gif noddings
for dot moosic ?”
hopeless “Not a cent!” replied the citizen, with
emphasis.
“Den ve blay some more, dat’s ail!”
threatened the collector; so the citizen
hastily gave up a quarter.— Epoch,
A Singular Coincidence.
Benson (entering Newport Casino)—
'‘Where haye you been, Ed?” ....
Cathcart—“Called on that rich and
hideous heiress, Miss Smith. Thank
heavens she was out.” (Exeunt twenty
young men.)
Miss Smith (at home next day)—
“Strange that thirty-seven gentlemen
should have left their cards last night—
just the night when I was not at home.”
— Time,
Unlucky Fate of a Hotel Clerk.
Clerk—“Will you register now?”
Lord Divvivian (taking pen)—“Aw,
aw, James!”
Enter James.
Lord Divvivian—“What is me full
name, Jeames?”
James—“Cecil Fauntus Victor Albert
Quincy Burleigh Bacon Walvaughan
Warwick Divvivian, sixth Earl of Gil
courtmnge, me lud.”
Lord Divvivian—“Aw, thank you,
Jeames .”—Mall and Express.
A Stray hanilt.
Vi Huge office)—“You Parson (entering country
editor’s promised to pub¬
lish that sermon I sent you on Monday,
but I do not find it in the latest issue of
your Editor—“I paper.”
sent it up. It surely went
in. What was the name of it?”
Parson—“Feed my lambs.”
Editor (after searching through paper)
—Ah—yes—um—Here it is. You see
we’ve got a new foreman, and he put it
under the head of “Agricultural Notes,”
as “Hints on the Care of Sheep.”
A Great Sale.
On a railway train. Two men dis¬
cussing a book that has just been handed
to them by the newsboy.
First Man—“That’s a great book, sir,
a masterpiece of work.”
Second Man —“I wonder how it is sell¬
ing?” Selling
First Man—“ like whisky at a
Montana picnic. Never saw anything
like it. You see I am the publisher and
ought Second to know.” Man—“Your
information de¬
lights me. I am the author.”
First Man (with fallen countenance)—
“Well, that is, it hasn’t had much of a
sale yet, but I think it will have. Big
risk you know, getting out this sort of
book.”— Arkansan) Traveler.
Slightly Misunderstood.
“Yes,” said Miss Crushington, the
celebrated exponent of society and emo¬
tional drama, “I had a most successful
tour in England last summer.”
“Did you enjoy the trip across the
ocean?”
“Very much coming back, but not so
much going over.”
“Were you sick?”
“N-not so very, but I felt badly and
wished I hadn’t agreed to come. Wanted
to back out, you know.”
“I understand; you felt like throwing
up the whole affair.”
“Oh, dear uo! 1 wasn’t as
that !”—Merchant Traveler.
Disproving Vital Statistics.
There was a cold, hard look in her
eyes and a baby on her arin as she came
into the Critic office and sat down in the
visitor’s chair, alongside of the editor’s
desk.
“You are the editox-,” she asserted,
confidently.
The editor did not deny the charge.
“in your paper not long since,” she
continued, “I read an article on the cen¬
sus returns made by the police, and in it
I noticed that the increase of population
in Georgetown from 1885 to 1888 was
only twenty-three.” said
“Yes, madame,” the editor, be¬
cause he hadn’t anything else to say.
“Well, it’s a base slander on our town,
sir,” she exclaimed indignantly, grunted". and dis¬
turbed the baby till it “Why,
sir, ou my block alone, the increase has
been twenty-four within a year, and this
one I’ve got is one of them.”
“Yes, madame,” repeated sticking the editor
with striking originality, nis
pen in the paste pot.”
“Now, sir, I want to sue somebody
for libel, it’s either the police or the
newspapers ”
“The police, of course, madame,’’said
the editor, recovering his wits.
“x’s all the same to me. so long as
somebody has to pay for it. Good
morning. If any other member of the
Georgetown Committee on Population
cal], tell them, will you, that I’ve been
here?” and she went out haughtily with
the baby.— Washington Critic.
Blessing are strewed like flowers in
our pathway; it rests with us to gather
them up carefully or pass them by.
CURIOUS FACTS.
A talent of gold was $13,809.
A shekel of silver was about fifty cents.
A violin made of clay has been on ex¬
hibition in Berlin.
which Aquatinta, is a kind of engraving by
a soft and beautiful effect is pro¬
duced.
A moving train knocked the tail off a
Missouri calf without in any way hurting
the rest of the animal.
“Lover’s ink.” warranted to vanish in
twelve hours after use, leaving the paper
blank, is said to be a Western invention.
The other day at Westport, Conn.,
Mr. Mitchell and .Miss Lewis got married,
and went off canoeing upon a bridal
tour.
A n organ in a San Francisco church is
said to have been beneiited, rather than
injured, by the accidental discharge of a
bullet into it.
A eat at Norwich Falls, N. Y., is
bringing frogs’ up her kittens on a diet of
legs, which she catches for them
in a near swamp.
At Deep River, Conn., two men. both
shoemakers and both 82 years old, re¬
cently died upon the same day and at
just the same hour.
farm Lightning of W. struck a pine tree on the
Ga., and killed F. Spann of Webster county,
taken shelter under twenty it. hogs that had
Sharks haye appeared at the mouth of
the Mersey, England, and Liverpool’s
small boys are wearing bowie knives
when they go in swimming.
A Clinton (Iowa) baby has two grand¬
fathers and two grandmothers, two great¬
grandmothers and one great grandfather,
besides parents, to pet it to death.
A big willow tree in an upper New
York town was blown a foot from the
perpendicular in a late storm, but little
by little has gone back to uprightness.
On the farm of B. Peacock, Thomas
ville, Ga., lightning has struck the same
building three times within one week,
and the building is now about used up.
A university is said to have been
founded at Bologna by Theodosius about
433, but the real date of the establish¬
ment of the University of Boulogne was
1116.
Lincoln Chestnut and Edwiua Arrow
smith were wedded at Grafton, Neb., a
few weeks ago. The bride’s reply to the
usual formula: “Do you take this Chest¬
nut?” was a painful occasion. strain on the sol¬
emnity of the
A decidedly rare fruit is the white
huckleberries gathered this week im
Blooming the Grove, of Penn. The
are about size a wild cherry, and
are creamy white. They are very sweet.
Whether a new variety or a freak of na¬
ture we are not informed. ,
The old belief that more light-haired
persons than dark become insane ha3
gone the way of the other ancient de¬
lusions. Out of 165 patients who are
being treated in the Kirkbridge Insane
Asylum in Philadelphia all except four
are of decidedly darn complexion.
Nine years ago a Mrs. Manning, of
Paris, Ill., vowed that if her son married
a certain young lady who was objection¬
able to her she would go to bed and stay
there until she died. The marriage took
place, and the mother, true to her reso¬
lution, never left her bed until she was
borne to her coffin.
There is said to be a smokehouse in
the southwestern part of Madison
county, Fla., that is a veritable bee hive,
and from which large quantities of honey
are ly cutting taken throughout the year by mere¬
the comb and catching the
liquid honey which pours from it. The
have sealed the anterior of the house
with comb.
The Chinese frequently place little
metal idols within the shells of mollusks,
removing them several years afterward
covered with a substance resembling
peari; they also lay strings of small
pearls, separated by knots, inside the
shells, and on taking them out, after a.
lapse of pearls. some years, obtain large and
costly
About twenty years ago Mrs. Benja¬
min Braughn, of Atlanta, Ga., cut the
hair from the head of her little two-year
old child, and saved one curl about aa
inch and a half in length. A few weeks
later the child became ill and died.
Yesterday Mrs. Braughn opened the box
in which she had laid away the little
ringlet, and was astonished to find that
it had grown to be two feet in length.
Four or five of the head porters in the
leading Chicago hotels are collectively
Worth over half a million dollars.
