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KMIXVIIIJ! JOURNAL.
KNOXVILLE. GEORGIA.
There are about 40,000 more men than
women i n Chicago.
_
The wool interest in Australia has
auffered severely from droughts. The
sheep have died by millions, Never
theless, the supply of wool shows a steady
increase. !
__
The Mexicans are hqrd at work on the
banks of the Rio Grande opposite El
Paso, Texas, building wing dams and
willow mattresses to prevent their ter¬
ritory from being washed away by the
turbulent river. They have lost much
in past years in this manner.
Eomebody delving in the history of
Newburyport, Mass., has found, asserts
the Kew York Sun, that lumber was
once sent across the Atlantic Ocean in the
form of a raft similar to that which re¬
cently arrived in the port of New York
from Joggins, Nova Scotia.
There are 800,000 freight cars on the
various railroad lines in this country, of
which 60,000 are the property of the
Pennsylvania Central road. They range
in value from $300, the cost of construct¬
ing a flat car, to $1500, the amount ex¬
pended in building the average refrigera¬
tor car.
The Mikado of Japan has almost fin¬
ished his new palace, which has taken
six years for its construction. There are
400 rooms in the building, and the din¬
ing hall will seat 137 guests. The furni¬
ture of the State Department came from
Germany. Not the least interesting ob¬
ject in the palace is an American piano.
Daniel A. Rudd, a young colored news¬
paper man who spoke at the Cincinnati
meeting of the Catholic Young Men’s
National Union, said, according to the
New York Sun, that the number o
colored people in this country who are
“practical Roman Catholics” is 200,000
at least. Several of them have been or¬
dained, and several bright young colored
men are now studying for the priest¬
hood.
The open executive sessions of the
United States t. enate on the Fisheries
question were begun on the 28th of
May last, and the question occupied
the attention of the Senate to the almost
total exclusion of other business through
twenty-two sittings. No similar topic,
declares the Few York Iribune, in re¬
cent times has consumed so much time
and filled so many columns of the official
“Record.”
The Columbus (Ga.) Enquirer-Sun
says: “ Louisiana has one parish which
ought to contain a lot of very happv as
well as prosperous farmers. There is
not a single mortgage on farm property
of record in the parish. Few, if any,
counties in Georgia can make such a
showing, and probably every county in
the western states has any number of
farm mortgages. Sabine parish, La., is
a model for the whole country.”
The Indian school at Carlisle, Penn.,
has the oldest pupil of any educational
institution in the United States. He is
more than sixty years of age. Crazy
Head is his name, and he was once Chief
of the Crow Nation. He was a bold
warrior and an able ruler. He is anxious
to learn the ways of white men and is
now receiving instruction in blacksmith
ing. During the winter he will attend
school. He is a man of vigorous health
and has a more refined face than is often
found in his race. He is docile and
patient and there is something almost
pathetic about his longing to learn the
customs of civilization before he dies.
BUDGET OF FUN".
HUMOROUS SKETCHES FROM
Various sources.
The Summer After—The One Thins
Needful—Only a Brief Res¬
pite—A Wife’s Fears,
Etc., Eta
I stood once more on the dear old beach
Where we’d parted the year before.
And sitting there in the self-same spot
I saw my love once more.
The dress she wore was the one I loved,
A simple gown of white.
And I asked myself, “When she put it on,
Did she. know I would come to-night?”
The moon shone bright as I closer drew,
And knelt at her feet on the sand.
Where I told her how I had loved her long,
An I ventured to take her hand.
With a silvery laugh she raised her head,
I And that then, oh, horrible shock!
saw ’twas only Rosalie’s maid
In Rosalie’s last year's frock!
—Cornelia Redmond , in Life.
The One Thing Needful.
did .Mr. the C. cook de Hurst—“Ah, in cutting waitaw, thesemutton what
use
chops f”
Anatole—“A cleaver, sir, of course!”
Mr. C. de Hurst—“Aw, goodl Bring
me one 1”
Only a Brief Respite.
Infatuated Youth (after a three hours
visit)—“Miss Maud, I must go.”
Infatuated Maiden—“Well, Charlie;
but you will call again soon, I hope.”
Infatuated Youth—“I will be back in
fifteen minutes .”—Detroit Free Press.
A Wife's Fears.
Wife (to country editor)—“Aren’tyou
feeling well to-night, John?”
An Country indignant Editor—“Not very, my dear.
subscriber came into the
office this afternoon and mopped up the
floor with me. ”
Wife (anxiously)—“Heavens, John, I
hope he didn’t stop his paper, too.”—
Life.
Something Else.
Diner (to slow waiter)—“Some roast
beef, well done, potatoes and a glass of
milk.”
Waiter—“Yessir; anything else, sir?”
Diner—“Yes; ”— I’d like’it this after¬
noon. Judge.
Baseball's Vlctfms.
Miss Ethei (of Boston)—“I
stand, Clara, that young Mr. Mason, who
was very attentive to you last month, is
® n K a S e “ to Miss Backet,' of Phila
delphia.”
Miss Clara (of New York)—“Yes; I
released Mr. Mason on a Thursday, and
and do you know it wasn’t two days be¬
fore he had signed with that Phila¬
delphia girl.”— Time.
That Undiscovered Country.
Little Mabel—“Oh, mamma!” Where’s
Protest?”
heard Mamma—“My dear child; I never
of such a place. Why do vou
ask?”
Little Mabel—“Because, I heard papa
say this morning he’d have to go there
this afternoon, sure’s shooting.”— Idea.
Home, Swe t Home.
Featherly—“Are you pretty full up
at Dumley—“Yes, your boarding-house, Dumley?”
there are two brides,
three dowagers, a grass widow, a retired
army officer with one leg, and myself.”
Featherly—“That is a full household,
for a fact. What kind ot fare do vou
get?”
Dumley—“Warfare.”— Epoch. '
A Slight Misunderstanding.
had “Stranger, I heard you say that you
just returned from t- tour of the
State!”
“Yes, sir.”
“How is the corn crop!”
“Immense.”
“How many bushels do you think it
will average to the acre?”
“I scarcely understand you. I am a
chiropodist, and bushels have nothing to
do with my business .”—Nebraska State
Journal.
What Will He Ho With It?
“I have nothing for you to eat, my
good man,” said the young wife, “but
if you need any clothes here is a gar¬
ment of my husband’s that you may
have. He has several others like it and
doesn’t need this.”
The tramp looked at the elaborate
yellow and green dressing gown, em¬
broidered with blue roses and red hum¬
ming scratching birds, and walked off slewly,
hi? head in a dazed manner.
— Chicago Tribune.
Wanted.
A spark of the tire of genius that kin¬
dles enthusiasm.
Feathers from the wings of the im¬
agination.
Spokes drop from the wheel of fortune.
A of the distilled attar of the
flowers of rhetoric.
A cheese made out of the milky whey.
A bucket of pure water from the wells
of despair. ^
Cement for split sides after reading
the above jokes.— Life.
Father Had an Offensive Weapon.
“Willie,” sorrowfully observed the
little girl to her juvenile adorer, “papa
says I’m too young to have a sweetheart,
and I must quit running out and playing
with you. He says you mustn’t come
here so much. ”
“I’m not afraid of your papa, Katie,”
said Willie, stoutly. “He needn’t think
he can scare me because he’s a big dealer
in lumber.”
“Yes, but he deals in shingles, Willie,
big, flat shingles.”
“That so?” said Willie, turning away
sadly. — Chicago Tribune.
Precise. *
Alfonse de Beriot—“You say you are
superstitious, would Miss Gushington, but
you dare to be married on
Friday V’
Mis3 Gushington — “What! Next
Friday? Why, dear Alfonse, you are so
sudden and so unconventional.”
“You quite misunderstand me. Ipro
test—I didn’t propose—”
“That’s all right, Alfonse, you didn’t
propose the as they usually do, but I like it
just same. Yes, dear, it shall be
Friday.”
Alfonse swoons .—Springfield Union •
Mr. Bachfeiler’s Sugirestiveness.
“Oh, look at that pretty bird, Mr.
Bachfeller!” said Miss Nevershy, point¬
ing to a big gull swooping in broad cir¬
cles over the sea.
“Yes,” said Mr. Bachfeller, with an
awful effort to be jocular, “and it’s not
the only pretty gull I can see, Miss
Nevershy. Both of them are as grace¬
ful as can be, and--”
“Isn’t that bird fishing for some¬
thing?”
“Yes—but-but I didn’t mean to sug
gest that you were-”
“That will do, Mr. Bachfeller-1 see
mamma is beckoning to me.”
And they have occupied seats on op
posite Dispatch. sides of the vessel since. — Pilts
Ourg
Offended.
YouDgMr. hundred Banks weighs a trifle over
two sensitive about pounds and is somewhat
it. He was calling on
his girl the other evening when she said
naively:
“Oh, Mr. Banks, would you just as
leave sit in this easy chair as in that
rocker?”
“Certainly, certainly,” replied Banks
gal’antly, the other. as he changed from one chair
so
“Oh, thanks,” she murmured, “you
are very kind. I have an atlas full of
such lovely ferns under the cushion of
that easy chair, and you--”
“Good night, ” said Banks stiffly, as
he watked away, never, never, never to
return. — Time.
Pat. Aug. the Great Inventor.
“One of the most comical things I’ve
ever heard was told me in the Caucasus,”
said Dudley Winston, the young man
who accompanied his father on the
mission to Persia. “It was in Tiftos,
the capital of the Principality of
Georgia. You know there’s an American
store there —a big place of business
where all sorts of ‘Y'ankee notions’ are
dealt out at enormous profits to the na¬
tives. I dropped in there. One of the
objects of interest to which the Russian
salesman directed my special attention
was ‘“Dees a patent instrument,’ potato peeler.
her said, ‘’ees
medd by ze fay moos ’ouse of Pat. Aug.’
“I was astonished.
a i What house did you say!’
" ‘Ze faymoos ’ouse of Pat. Aug.’
£ Never heard of it,’ I said; 'I guess
you are mistaken.’
“‘Meestccken; No. sare. I have often
heard of ze ’ouse, and I have often seen
ze name of ze ’ou3e' I vill show him to
you now. Oh, it is a firm which enjoys
great fame here.’
“And with that he looks for a speci¬
men potato peeler and brings one out.
“ ‘Zere, sare,’ he says ‘ees ze name en¬
graved “I burst in xe metall. laughing ' until by,
out iny sides,
ached. There was the legend: ‘Pal.
Aug. 17. 1873.’ And the -Pat. Aug.’
part of. it he had taken to be the firm's
name. I found that this potato peeler
was famous under the name of ‘bat.
Aug,.’all over the Caucasus.”— Chicago
Herald.
A Cure for Sleeplessness.
•The terrible evil of insomnia has so
many different sources that the
we afford can hope from auy it" single artifice is to
relief from under one special
form. I venture to think 1 have hit
a plan which thus remedies a very com¬
mon lessness; (not and, an aggravated) with kind of sleep¬
endeavor make your readers permission,
to your who may
be fellow-sufferers sharers in my little
discovery. It
is now, I believe, generally accepted
that our conscious, daylight thinking
processes are carried on in the sinister
half of our brains—i. e., in the lobe
which controls the action of the right
arm and leg. Pondering on the use of
the dexter half of the brain—possibly in
all unconscious cerebration, and in what¬
soever may be genuine of the mysteries
of planchette and sprite-rapping—I came
to the conclusion (shared no doubt by
many otner better qualified inquirers)
that we dream with this lobe, and that"
the fantastic, unmoral, sprite-like char¬
acter of dreams is, in some way, trace¬
able to that fact. The practical inference
then struck me: to bring back sleep when
lost, we must quiet the conscious, think¬
ing, sinister side of our brains, and bring
into activity only the dream side, the
dexter lobe. To do this, the only plan
I could devise was to compel myself to
put aside every waking thought, even
soothing effort daylight and pleasant ones, and every
of memory, such as count¬
ing flowing numbers or the repetition of easy
verses, the latter having been my
not wholly unsuccessful practice for
many years. Instead of all ihis, I saw I
must think of a dream, the more recent
the better, and go over and over the
scene it presented. Armed with this idea,
the next time I found myself awakening
at 2 or 3 o’clock in'the morning, instead
of merely trying to banish painful
thoughts that and repeating, as was my habit,
recommendable soporific, “Paradise
and the Peri,” I reverted at once to the
aream from which I had awakened, and
tried to go on with it. In a moment I
was asleep! And from that moment the
experiment, failed. often repeated, has scarcely
ever Not seldom the result is
sudden as the fall of a curtain, and seems
like a charm. A friend to whom I have
confided my little discovery tells me that
without any preliminary theorizing about
the lobes of the brain she had hit upoa
the same plan to produce sleep, and had
found it wonderfully efficacious.
I should be very glad to hear if other
sufferers can obtain the precious boon in
the same way. The evils of prolonged
wakefulness and of the drug-taking to
which its victims are too often driven are
alike so terrible that I make no apology
for offering my humble contribution of
one more harmless remedy to obviate
them .—London Spectator.
A Nervy Well-Digger.
One of the chief annoyances of the well
horer’s vocation is the frequent breaking
off of his important instrument, the
auger, just as it has reached a depth of
about surface. twenty or devices thirty feet from the
Various for overcoming
the trouble have been unsuccessful, ana
as yet no one has invented a means of re¬
covering detached the auger-head the after it has be¬
come from handle. It
looks as though the nuisance would have
to be put up with for some time yet.
Few men care to risk their necks in the
recovery of a bit of iron as a well-digger
in La Crosse, Ga., did last week. He
got some one to tie a rope around his
heels and let him down herd foremost
until he could grasp the coveted auger
head and take it te the surface .—Chicago
News.
The Healthy Bengalese.
It is said ot a Bengalese tribe, the Os
walsof Marwar, India, that while cholera
rages on all sides of them not one has
ever taken the disease, much less suc¬
cumbed to it, and they attribute their
immunity to their sanitory rules. Ac¬
cording to the precepts of their religion
they never touch animal food nor spiritu¬
ous liquors; they dine early, and sup on
milk and fruit. Wherever an Oswal
goes he never breaks these rules. It is
notadded: but it is quite safe to presume,
that a measure, at other least, of cleanliness
goes with these religio-sanitary
ordinances.