Newspaper Page Text
Mill JOURNAL
KNOXVILLE. GEORGIA.
^emigration r shows falling off for*
a
the first quarter of this year.
Twenty-two states are endeavoring to
purify their election laws "by introducing
the Australian system of voting.
r Syndicates rapidly buying all the
are up
Southern timber lands that they can get
their hands on.
The school banking system was intro¬
duced in the public schools of Long
Island City, N. Y., about three years ago,
and already the pupils in the nine schools
have $10,791.95 to their credit.
The Boers, of South Africa, have
whipped England five different times,
and one of their prophets is now pre¬
dicting a coming war in which a Boei
will be raised to the British throne.
f The English, Germans and French are
all assiduously counting Mexico as a
promising field of commercial enterprise
and English capitalists are hopeful of
wresting control of it from this country.
I Even Californians tire of their per¬
petual sunshine. The Visalia Delta re¬
marks: “Dwellers in the San Joaquin
valley would like to swap off a few square
leagues of Italian sky for a little Oregon
mist.”
The English courts hold that when a
man writes asking another to “favor him
with a check” for a bill the intent is that
the check is to be sent by post, and the
creditor is liable if the check is lost in
the mails.
: According to a statistician the liens of
Connecticut would reach twice across the
State if placed in a straight line, head to
tail. Any one who has tried to induce a
hen to remain in any straight line for a
second will appreciate that “if.”
Says the Detroit Free Press: “Cali¬
fornia imported the dandelion and is
sorry; the United States imported the
English sparrow and is sorry; Brazil, like
the United States, is importing paupers,
and, like the United States, will be sorry
for it.”
Statistician Mulhall calculates that the
next census will show in the United
States a population of 66,000,000, an
energy of 100,000,000,000 of foot-tons
per day, and $70,000,000,000 of accumu¬
lated wealth. No people in all history
have ever made a like showing. , •
| The newspapers of Porto Principe and
Sancti Spiritus, the principal cattle
breeding sections of Cuba, urge the cattle
men to devise some plan by which the
surplus of their herds may be exported,
especially to the United States, where, it
is said, they would find remunerative
markets.
The police are exerting extraordinary
vigilance to prevent emigration from
Hungary, and women and children who
seek to escape from the country to join
husbands and fathers already in America
have to submit to great hardships, and
often are unable to get away at all. The
authorities profess to fear a dearth of farm
laborers.
American cotton oil is becoming a val
uable and acceptable substitute for dearer
products in the markets of the world.
Prejudice against it, states the Chicago
Sun, is being steadily overcome. The
factories under way are being hurried
along. Demand is increasing. Stocks
are small. As a substitute for lard it
promises to become a valuable article of
commerce.
The late Aaron White, by whose will
each county in Connecticut receives $1000
for law library purposes, was known
widely for his copper coin mania, which
was first revealed when two men were
sent to prison for stealing $100 from his
hoard, but there was great astonishment
after his death when his administrator
shipped from the village station five tons
of copper coins.
Stanley is, of course, well understood
to be the agent of England in Africa, and
certainly England, the New York Com
mercial Advertiser believes, could not have
a more capable and energetic man to look
after its affairs in a quarter of the globe
toward the partition of which among
themselves various European powers are
now straining every energy, each in its
own way.
The Rev. T. DeWitt Talmadge has a
simple and easy plan for converting the
iworld to Christianity. It is for each
Christian to secure one convert and each
jane, of the converted to do the same. He
calculates that if this is done every year
for a decade the 1,400,000,000 people of
the darth could be brought into the
Christian fold and that the close of this
century-will witness the dawn of th«
millennium.
WASHINGTON. •4
t stag of one who lives, and is not dead,
Whose name and fame can never, never
die; calm of solemn
The grave, man, voice and
♦
Of martial head, soul, great heart, firm hand, clear
Who Beneath through the frowning gates of sky! hell his legions led
a
Oppressed thoughts by hate of those and envy he cherished in the North,
By in the
South, courageable
With heart he still went forth,
To Through be the savior—father—of famine and through drouth,
the land,
In the hollow of God's hand!
f
I see him in the rich Virginia fields.
Amid the clover and the asphodel, —
While round him boom the bees, ’neath
birmished shields,
And over him the wood-bards’ clear notes
A swell, happy with
Through boy, long butterflies day. at play,
a summer
And then I see the young surveyor tramp
Where the wild rod man and deer had gone
And, before;
Beneath when the the day is dead, I see him camp
stars, where swollen rivers
I him roar,
see with his sweetheart lead the dance;
I catch the words he pours into her ears:
I see him spinning a (love) song, perchance,
And all his disappointed sighs I hear.
T see him through the French and Indian
In training wars, for the work that’s to
sure
When come, King
laws George’s long endured, tyrannic
Will be appealed from, to the music of the
drum!
I see him when the shot at Lexington
Goes whirling through the balmy, generous
South—
And X see that strong, indomitable mouth
Of Virginia’s most indomitable son,
As he buckled on his swqrd—his charger
And strides,
northward rides!
I see him swing through streets in Boston
I hear town; through
nights, him, his almost sleepless
Speak Heights, words of cheer, out on Dorchester
When his ragged Continentals groan and
frown.
I see him .cross the icy Delaware,
Beneath December's icy, starless skies;
And Trenton, Princeton, rise before my
And then, eyes, again,
No food—no clothes—no grim, awful, blank despair!
fire; blankets—hardly
No shot—no powder—nothing to inspire
Their weary souls—but our great Hero
there!
With bleeding hearts and feet, they watch
the day
Go sadly down the West;
Upon the white and frozen earth they rest,
In that bleak, wind-swept gorge,
While their great commander knelt him
down to pray, - -
To Upon the frozen sod,
the Almighty God,
At Valley Forge!
“Dear God, who sees each little grassblade
that grows;
Dear God, who gives the forest minstrels
tx., Who song;
commandest every wind that ever
To whom blows; all
belong; stars, all hearts, all minds,
Who sees, with an all-seeing Eye, the souls
Of puny men—make our hearts, our souls,
To fight strong
the good fight in our holy cause,
And guide us from the cruel deeps to
shoals.
Thou givest wandering birds in storms a
Thou tree;
lamb; temperest the wind to the shorn
Thou hast made the dead to rise, the blind to
Lo, see; I
bare my soul to Thee for what I am—
A poor, weak mortal, with a love for Thee,
And with a love for country And for
peace,
And Liberty.
Vouchsafe to lead us on to victory,
And from bondage and from tyranny
release
Thy children and their land.
Turn our night to day,
And still hold us in the hollow of Thy
hand.
Lord, here we pray!”
And the Lord He heard him pray there in
the snow,
A grand century ago,
Or the stars and stripes would not be yon¬
der flying 1
Now, I see him nurse the sick and watch
the dying—
Hear his deep and soothing voice
Bid the weary ones rejoice;
See him bow his martial head
O’er the freezing—dying—dead,
While the tears rain down his deeply fur
Through rowed cheeks,
those days, and nights, and weeks,
until the spring comes, once again—
With it, courage to his men—
Food and raiment, one by one;
And, To when everything was done
warm each Continental son,
With Why, he marched into the fray
a heart so light and gay,
That care and all its satellites went shr
far away—
And the warming that the British got ere
Monmouth town was won!
Fought he he north, south, east and west, and
And Yorktown fought his very best!
at straightway met made Cornwallis, his guest, whom he
With his seven thousand men!
You know the rest:
How he laid away tho sivord—took up his
Bade pen— his
Generals good-by,
In Fraunce’s Tavern, with a sigh,
And a big tear in each eye,
To become the ‘'Cineinnatus of the West.”
How they offered him “a crown!”
How he dashed the bauble down
When they would have made him 1 ‘king!”
Ring Sing! ring! sing! ring! sing!
His virtues and his praises, while ths skies are
up the above you!
While earth’s beneath our feet, noble
Till the Washington, liberty we’ll love youl thing
you gave us is a poor of
the past.
You shall be the first within our hearts and
last!
—John E. McCann, in Once a Week.
THE BAM ROBBERY.
It was the invariable custom of the
night watchman of the Merchants’
Mechanics’ Bank at Clio to throw’
the front doors and raise the curtains
7£ o’clock each morning. By that
all the stores were open and the
full of people. From 7-J- o’clock to 8
swept and dusted, and the bells
scarcely struck the latter hour when
bank. officials began to arrrive.
the watchman went home, the doors
closed, and at nine o’clock the bank was
ready for business.
One September morning the cashier,
teller, and two of the clerks arrived
find the heavy front doors still closed.
Peter, the watchman, had been in
nine years, and this was the first time
had overslept his hour. The grocer
one side and the shoo man on the
had pounded on the bank doors at
quarter to eight, and not receiving
response, were certain that something
of the way had occurred. There
nine of us who entered the bank as
cashier unlocked the doors. The
had not yet been raised when we knew
that robbery and murder had taken place.
When we got the full light we saw Peter
lying on his back on the floor outside of
the railing. He was fully dressed, and
had been struck on the back of the head;
and the blow had crushed in the skull.
The body was cold, showing that death
had occurred some hours before.
Further investigation proved that the
door of the vault had been drilled and
blown open, and that the bank had been
robbed of every dollar of its cash on hand.
Taking the loss of bonds, stocks and
cash, the aggregate was about $80,000,
about half of which fell upon the bank.
Burglar tools, fuse, a flask of powder and
other artices were lying about, and on a
desk we found the loaded club which had
dealt Peter his death blow. When we
came to investigate as to how the robbers
had effected an entrance everybody was
at sea. They could only have come and
gone by the front door. None of the
windows had been raised, the back door
was heavily barred, and the doOr leading
to the cellar had not been tampered
with.
Peter had no key to the lock of the
front door. He could open it from the
inside, but not from the other. The
cashier and bookkeeper, both old and
trusted men and stockholders, alone had
keys. He.must, we concluded, have ad¬
mitted the robbers to the bank, but the
fact of his having been murdered was
proof of his integrity. Had he put up a
job with them, they would not have fin¬
ished him off. He was a sharp, shrewd
fellow, and what excuse they could have
urged to gain admission was beyond our
figuring. Detectives were put to work
on the case, but not the slightest clue
could they get for weeks. It seemed as
if the robbers had taken wings as they
left the bank. Three months later two
men, who were suspected of being “good
fellows,” were arrested at a point 200
miles away, and in another State, for
stealing a horse and buggy. In following
up this case to a conviction it was proved
that they had arranged to do a bank in a
country town, and that the rig had been
stolen as a part of the programme. One
of the men was recognized as a person
seen in our town about the time of our
robbery, and the bank people became
satisfied that both of them had a hand in
it. They had no proofs, and the matter
would have been permitted to drop but
for me.
The loss of cash was only about $11,
000. About $35,000 in securities be¬
longed to depositors, and the balance
was the loss of the bank. None of the
securities had been negotiated thus far,
and it was my theory that the robbers
had them securely hidden away some¬
where. "While I could not be positive
that either of the men arrested for steal¬
ing the horse and buggy was the party
wanted for our job, two of our citizens
were so positive in identifying one of
them that I was ready to chance it. The
bank had offered a big reward for the
arrest of the robbers and murderers, and
after due deliberation with myself and
several consultations with friends, I de¬
termined on a plan. The men had been
sent to prison for three years apiece.
When arrested they made a fight, and
burglars’ tools were also found in their
possession.
I visited the prison and learned that
one had been assigned to the boot and
shoe department, while the other had
gone to the chair works. I walked
through this department and saw him en¬
gaged in chair painting. The two were
so widely separated that there was no
possibility of a meeting except in the
chapel on a Sunday. The one in the
chair department was the younger by sev¬
eral years.
One day, when I had my plans all laid,
I entered a jewelry store in the city from
which the men had been sentenced and
asked to look at some watches. A tray
of them was set, and I grabbed one
valued at $40 and ran out. I could
have got clear off as well as not, but my
object was to be arrested. On my ex¬
amination I pleaded guilty and was
bound over. When the case came to the
higher court a lawyer was assigned me,
and had I worked with him the jury
would have cleared me. I refused to
answer* any questions, admitted my guilt,
and was regarded by some as light in the
head. The jeweler did not desire my
conviction, and but for my impudence I
should have failed in my purpose. A
verdict of guilty was finally reached and
his Honor gave me a year in prison,
though I believe he was ready to suspend
sentence in case I broke clown and
promised reform.
When I arrived at the prison I gave my
occupation as a chair finisher, and, to my
gjjpat satisfaction, I was assigned to that
work, and soon found myself alongside
the man I was after. Ho was recorded
on the prison books as Jordon Hatch,
No. 2180. I was down as Charles Merritt,
No. 2185. We were at least thirty feet
apart for the first three weeks, and I had
been there a full month before we passed
a word. Then, as we were carrying
some work to the stock room, I got a
chance to growl to him:
“I thought the horse thieves were put
into the slop department.”
He gave me a fierce look and gritted
his teeth, and next time we passed he
whispered:
“And I thought the cheap-watch grab¬
bers were used as kitchen mops!”
“He knew, then, as I suspected, what
I had been sent for. No convict is in
prison a week before his offence is pretty
generally known. As we passed again I
whispered:
“It’s a good thing sometimes to be laid
by.”
His reply to this was:
1 ‘Then don’t size me up for a horse
thief.”
During the next two weeks, owing to
the illness of one of the finishers, and the
fact that another was pardoned, I
nearer to Hatch, but while I seemed to
utterly indifferent to him, I several
caught him looking me over as if inter¬
ested. He was very handy, and
tasty with brush and stencils, and as
was equally, so it finally came about,
ter I had been in prison about
months, that we worked side by side
the same platform. There was one
seer for fifteen of us, and we had only to
exercise communicate prudence and in whispers. discretien to I be
able to car
ried out the idea that I grabbed the watch
on purpose to be laid by until the hue and
cry over a big job had died out, and by
abstaining from asking him any question
about his past I gave him no reason to
distrust me.
I had been in prison for seven months
when I was called to the office one day
to see a friend, one of the few who were
in the plot. He had called to ask what
progress I had made. Upon my return
to the shop Hatch was curious to know
what had passed, and I informed him
that I had got word that a pard of mine
who had been in the big job with me,but
who had escaped arrest, had converted
our hidden swag to his own use and gone
to Europe.
“I’d kill him!” he replied. * “My pard
hadn’t better try that on me I”
“But he may.”
“Not this pull. Isn’t he here with
me?”
It was a month before I made another
move. I then feigned sickness and got
four days in the hospital, and when I re¬
turned to work I had some news foi
Hatch. It was to the effect that another
horse thief, whose name I could not re¬
member, but who was in the shoe depart¬
ment, had been receiving the visits of a
lawyer, who was doubtless seeking to get
him a pardon or a new trial.
“The deuce he is!” hissed Hatch,
jumping to the conclusion I hoped he
would.
I purposely prevented any other con¬
versation for several days, but it was plain
enough that my shot had told and that my
man was greatly worried. I pretended
to have no interest in the matter, and
one day when opportunity offered he ob¬
served.
“I’d give 'a thousand dollars to get a
letter out of here to a certain party.”
“Better not try it,” I briefly replied,
and I let him worry again for a week.
It so happened then that I was detailed
to the yard for a couple of days to assist
in repiling some lumber, and when I re¬
turned I had some gossip for Hatch. It
was to the effect that the Governor
was being shoe worked for a pardon for one
of the men, and it was reported
that the lawyer who had the case in hand
was to get $10,000 if he was successful.
I could not give his name not having
heard it, but ventured the opinion that
the man must have rich relatives at work
for him.
“No,” he replied. “He’s selling some
one out on the quiet!”
It was a week before anything further
was said. I had saved my good time
and was almost ready to go. Four days
before I was granted my liberty Hatch
handed me a piece of paper on which he
had written about a dozen figures and as
many letters of the alphabet, and said:
“It is to my mother. She will under¬
stand it. If you can get this out with
you and mail it to the address on the
back, enclosing your own address, you
will receive at least $1000 within a week.
That shoe man is my pard. If he is
working the Governor it is to beat me.
I’ll take the chances of trusting you. We
were in a big diamond robbery in Lon¬
don last year, and the swag is secured in
New York. If this gets to the old woman
“But the address is Chicago*” I said,
as I got a look at it.
“That’s all right; she’ll understand,”
he said.
I had a sore finger, and I carried the
note out hidden in the rag wrapped
around the digit. I went straight to Clio,
put the paper in the hands of the bank
officers and detectives, and after working
over the cipher for three days we were no
wiser than at first. The address was;
“Mrs. Ann Walsh, Chicago, Ill.,” and
on the second day after our arrival in
Chicago a woman dressed in mourning
called at the ladies’ window and inquired
for the name. We followed her to a sa¬
loon and restaurant on State street
discovered that she kept house up stairs,
while her son, a young man of about
twenty-five, ran the business below.
The place was looked upon by the Chicago
police as suspicious, and with their aid a
search warrant was procured and a search
made. In a tin box in an old trunk in
the garret we found the securities stolen
from the bank at Clio. Jordan Hatch’s
right name was Billy Walsh, and
woman was his mother and the young
man his brother. Both claimed
ignorance of the securities, proving that
Billy had the run of the house when
home and that he had every oppurtunity
to bring home and conceal stuff. It
not until after their acquittal that
found the key to the cipher. The
then read:
“Put the swag info a safe place at
once. Don’t reply to this.”
Hatch had promised me a thousand
dollars, but he did not mean I should
it. Mother and son both knew he
in prison, but were afraid to visit him
fear of being suspected of having the
curities.
Upon leaving the prison the men
tried for murder and robbery. They
mitted the robbery, but denied the
der. They explained that they
on the bank doors, and told Peter
his wife was dying. In his confusion
opened the door and both pushed in,
as he staggered back he fell and hit
head on the tile floor. It had been
long since the murder and their
made such a plausible theory that
were acquitted of murder though
less guilty, and sent for fifteen
apiece on the other charge.— New
Sdh.
Secret of Health in China.
The Chinese live in houses where
supply of air is so limited that no
pean could endure the vitiated
sphere; yet they are a very healthy
tion. This is due probably to the
that their food is invariably simple
clean and thoroughly well cooked.
potatoes and rice are all boiled
When cooked the mixture is put
small bowls, and as it is eaten with
chopsticks, it is impossible to try
mouth or stomach by scalding them
a quantity of very hot food.
thev rarely drink water if they can
tea, either hot or cold.
WORDS OF WISDOM.
ft j s on ]y tho unlucky who think fer¬
une bii n <j.
children are the coupons on tha bonds
,f marriage,
White lies are the gentlemen ushers of
he black ones.
A paradox is often a truth serving it3
ipprenticeship.
Rarely do we contradict those wo love
ir those we despise,
Scra tch a pessimist, and, more often
jjan no t, you will find an optimist turned
'
lour.
Many a man forgets his evil deeds so
swiftly that he is honestly surprised when
my one else recalls them.
Man has a firmer grip on the truths he
ihinks he has found out for himself, than
)n those he has been taught.
Many a many would blush for his wisest
lecisions if only he should reflect on the
reasons which moved him to them.
To see a clever man making a fool of
Wmself is a sorry sight; and it is pitiful
!o discover that he can always give most
{xcellent reasons for his folly.
Some people keep a friend as children
have a toy bank into which they drop
Sttle coins now and again; and some day
they draw out the whole of their savings
it once. —Century Magazine.
The Seal Fisheries.
The recent heavy capture of seals o3
Newfoundland will not, despite reports to
the contrary, make sealskin sacks any the
less expensive next season. It is indeed
difficult to disassociate the seal from the
sack constructed from his outer covering,
but only seals from certain localities may
be used for this purpose, and seals caught
off Newfoundland are not of that kind,
[t is the Alaskan seal and the Japanese
seal whose fur is available for a feminine
wrap.
Yet the catch is one of moment. For
there are most important uses to which
these seals are to be put. Though the
Arctic seal, as these are called, is covered
with hair, long and coarse, and thick and
bristly, yet scraping this off the skin it¬
self becomes valuable for tanning purposes.
For that it goes principally to Great
Britain. Here it is used for the most part
in the manufacture of pocket books and
tennis shoes.
Just below the skin lies a layer of fat
known as the pelt. This might almost be
called the seal itself, for all that lies be¬
neath this is a thin membrane and then
the animal’s bone and framework and di¬
gestive apparatus. These form but a
small part of him. An excellent quality
of what is known as seal oil is extracted
from the pelt, and- the tallow-like sub¬
stance that remains has a value com¬
mercially.
These Arctic seals whelp in the north
in the latter part of February and drift
down on the ice in the early spring. As
the ice melts in more temperate regions
the young seals drop off into the water,
and are then sufficiently grown to take
care of themselves. It is the object of
the sealers to capture the little animals
known as “white coats” while still on the
floating ice. This is on their first trip.
Later on the larger animals, up to the 450
pounds male, known as the hooded seal,
are hunted. The “white coats,” not over
four feet long and of forty to fifty pounds
weight, make little resistance, and are
easily killed by a blow over the head.
The seal fishery will be most profitable
this year. One of the vessels just re¬
turned to port has a cargo of 27,000 seals.
The market value of these is something
aver$2 apiece. Allowing for the running
expenses of the vessel, the proportional
ihare of the catch to the vessel’s officers
md crew, yet the profit to the owners
.vill be an exceedingly neat one.— New
Tori: Mail and Express.
Onr Memorable Naval Disasters.
The disaster in Apia harbor is the
severest, so far as the destruction of ves¬
sels is concerned, that the American
Navy has yet experienced by storm at sea.
There have been instances, however,
where larger numbers of lives were lost.
The most notable of these naval disas¬
ters was the sinking of the Albany off the
West Indies in 1853. Neither the vessel
nor the 200 persons on board her were
ever heard of.
In 1858 the United States sloop-of-.7ar and
La Vante, went down in the Pacific,
was never heard from. Not one of her
officers and crew of 200 was ever found.
In 1863 the brig Bainbridge went
down off Cape Hatteras, and only one
colored man was saved.
The Monongahela was washed ashore
it Santa Cruz by a tidal wave in 1867,
and landed on the top of some houses.
She was finally launched and repaired,
md is now in use by the navy.
The Wateree and the Fredonia were
capsized by a tidal wave, caused by an
earthquake, off the coast of Peru. The
Wateree was carried inland for a consid¬
erable distance, and, strange to say, none
of the crew was drowned or killed.
The worst disaster to a United States
vessel during late years, was the sinking
of the Huron in a storm off Curratuck
Beach, near Cape Hatteras, in 1876. En¬
sign, now Lieutenant Lucien Young, was
the only man on board of ber who was
saved from the wreck.
The Ferocity of a Blue Crane.
Monroe Adams, of the Cotton
restaurant, saw a large bird sailing
about one hundred yards above him,
Town Creek, and shot it, breaking
of its wings. It fell to the ground
Monroe made a grab for the bird, and it
mad f «■ thrust at him with a bill fully
or six inches long, striking him on
shoulder. He clubbed his gun and at
they went, sometimes the bird getting
a ll ck and sometimes Monroe. The
so much higher and longer and
pie that it could come in on any side,
Monroe caught its long, snakc-likc neck,
?ave a hasty lick with his gun and
had won the battle. It proved to be
blue crane. It measured seven feet
tip of wing to tip of wipg, and stood
high on its feet from point to beak. Mon
roe sold it to Captain P. Williams,
*te some of it. He says turkey
won’t compare with it.— Ar m-m is
Recorder.
*
THE WEDDING DAY.
Sweetheart, name the day for mo ,
When we two shall wedded bo.
Hake it ere another moon.
While, the meadows are in tuno
And the trees are blossoming,
And tho robbins mate and sing.
Whisper, love, and name a day
In this merry month of May.
No, no, no,
You shall not escape me so.
Love will not forever wait; ,
Roses fade when gathered lato.
Fie, for shame, Sir Malcontent!
How time be better spent <*
can
Than in wooihg? I would wed
When the clover blossoms red,
When the air is full of bliss,
And the sunshine like a kiss.
If your’re good I grant a boon;
You shall have me, sir, in June.
Nay, nay, nay,
Girls for once should have their way!
If you love me wait till June;
Rosebuds wither picked too soon.
~E. G. Stcdman
PITH AND POINT.
Intense—A circus.
Jimmy is the pried of the burglars.
Always try to suit everybody—Tailors.
Presumably a fault-finding fish—The
carp.
Not murderous—Young men “dressed
to kill.”
“Representative men”—Members of
Congress.
Merely a matter of opinion—The
Judge’s decision.
There are timid tourists who will not
go up the Nile, fearing a cataract in the
eye.
In all probability the brightest of
vegetables is the onion. It at any rate
has the most scents.— Time.
There are eleven thousand remedies
for disease known to medical science,and
a man generally has most of them sug¬
gested to him whenever he has a boil.
Mrs. Jason—“You think you know it
all, don’t you?” Mr. Jason—“I married, know a
heap more than I did before I was
I am sorry to say Terre Haute Gazette.
In summer hours her hand he sought tennis;
The When winter they to together the maiden played brought at
A richer beau, whom soon she caught,
And now the first one’s name is Dennis.
“I beg your pardon, madam, but you
are sitting on my silk hat,” exlaimed a
gentleman. “Oh, pray excuse me; I
thought it was my husband’s.” — Cham¬
bers^ Journal.
“Fond of beasts?” asked Mr. Turmp
tops of Miss Belinda, “Dear me,” re
plied the lady. “If that’s intended for a
declaration, you must really speak to my
mamma.” —Boston Gazette.
Teacher—“What was there remarkable
about the battle of Lookout?” Little
Dick (at the foot of the class)—‘ ‘It caused
bangs on the brow of a mountain.”
■—Binghamton Republican.
“I have an account of a big landslide,”
said the new reporter; “what bead shall
I put it under!” “Put it under tho
‘Beal Estate Transfers,’ ” replied the
snake editor. —Pittsburg Telegraph.
The hot water cure is highly spoken
of. A young man of our acquaintance
was completely cured of an attachment
for a young lady by one kettleful, which
the old man let him have.— New Tori
Neics
Bella—“Don’t I look a perfect fright
in my new sacque, though?” Clara (ab¬
sent mindedly)—“Yes.” Bella—“You
mean thing! I’ll never speak to you
again as long as Hive.” —Burlington Free
Press.
“My husband is dreadfully out of
sorts,” one lady said to another the other
evening. “I noticed that he looked
dreadfully yellow,” the other replied,
“Yes,” was the mournful reply, “when
ever he is blue he is sure to be yellow. ”
Boastful Dude—“I am glad you ad
mire my scarf pin. The stone has a his
tory. It was intimately associated with
ah ancient Hindoo family.” Cynical
Friend (examining the stone critically)—
“One of the windows of its palace, I sup
pose?”— Jewelers' ’Weekly.
Husband—“What docs the newspaper
say about the big fire of last night?”
Wife (reading the morning paper)—“It
says the boiler burst, and then the scene
that followed baffled description.” H.—
“Is that all?” W.—“No; two columns
of description follow that.” — Blade.
Manager—“My dear Miss Flashlight,
it will never do at all for you to wear
that diamond necklace in tho role of a
beggar girl.” Miss Flashlight (the star)
—“Well, if that’s the ease tho piece will
have to be changed. Why didn’t you
tell me of this before I had gone to the
trouble of studying the part?”— Terre
Haute Express.
Preventing Oysters from Suicide. I
Oysters sent here from the East in are! a j
“fresh” state for local emsumption I
generally dead when they get to this city
and are most assuredly anything but alive i
by the time the consumer gets hold otf'
them. Many contrivances have been in¬
vented for keeping tho bivalves alive
while being shipped across the country,
but the only really successful plan is said
to be that recently patented by A. A.
Freeman, of Philadelphia. By this plan
an oyster may be taken from the Atlantic
and shipped to this coast and have at
least twenty days of life yet remaining
after his arrival here. His method is
simply to bind the oyster with a single
strand of wire, and on this plain con¬
trivance Uncle Sam has granted him two j
letters patent. The invention merely
keeps the oyster from committing suicide
by opening its mouth and letting in too
great a volume of air. It is said that a
syndicate is about to buy up the Pacific
coast for “wired oysters,” as they are
called, and that depots are to be estab¬
lished all over the country for the dis¬
tribution of live bivalves,it being claimed
that they will be in as fresh a condition
is when first taken from the salt sea.-» .
San Francisco Chronicle.