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THE HOUSTON HOME JOURNAL
A fair system of justice will establish sibling peace
QUESTION: I’ve been
very careful to be fair
with my children and
give them no reason to
resent one another.
Nevertheless, they con
tinue to fight. What can I
do?
DR. DOBSON: The prob
lem may rest in your lack of
disciplinary control at home.
Sibling rivalry is at its worst
when there is an inadequate
system of justice among chil
dren where the “law
breakers” do not get caught,
or if apprehended are set
free without standing trial.
It is important to under
stand that laws in a society
are established and enforced
for the purpose of protecting
people from each other.
Likewise, a family is a mini
society with the same
requirements for the protec
tion of human rights.
Suppose that I live in a
frontier community where
there is no established law.
Policemen do not exist and
there are no courts of appeal
for disagreements. Under
those circumstances, my
neighbor and I can abuse
each other with impunity.
He can steal my horses and
throw rocks through my
windows, while I can raid
the apples from his favorite
tree and take his plow late
I felt like crawling under
the nearest pew some few
years ago when a former
pastor made comparisons
between the appearances of
home and automobiles. Not
capturing the full quotation,
his statement was misinter
preted to imply that a per
son’s life is similar to his or
her automobile.
At that time my “Do-It-
Yourself” man made driving
a new car no more than a
dream. He was gifted with
the ability to fix the unfix
able. Our yard looked like a
salvage yard for disabled
cars - and in a sense, it was
just that. Hubby would drag
‘em home, fix 'em up, wear
‘em out and save ‘em for
parts
With a touch of shame, I
Crossroads UMC plans blood drive
From Staff Reports
The Crossroads United
Methodist Church in Perry
will host an American Red
Cross blood drive from 2
p.m. to 7 p.m. Monday. This
is one in a series of blood
Seeing double?
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i ... . —.——— 3
submitted
These peacocks were painted during a workshop last sponsored recently by the
Fine Art Society of Middle Georgia and entitled “Secrets of Acrylic Painting” The
event was held at the Perry Art Center and taught by local artist, Leslie Hoops-
Wallace. Participants were, front row, from left; Sam Zellner, Kay Nanz, Brandy
Elrod, Nancy Steinberg, Margaret Stevens, Dolores Lynch; back row, from left;
Edna Garrett, Lois Wills, Ellen Swafford, Leslie Hoops-Wallace, Margaret Harris,
Allan Carey and Billie Rooker. Anyone interested in participating in future painting
workshops and/or in joining the Fine Art Society can contact Ellen Swafford at
953-3250 or Leslie Wallace at 929-2263. The Fine Art Society sponsors art shows,
lectures, demonstrations and workshops all year long and is open to anyone inter
ested in learning more about the arts. The Fine Art Society website is: www.geoc
ities.com/fasmgeorgia/
4-
I &
Dr. James Dobson
Focus on the Family
www.family.org
at night. This kind of mutu
al antagonism has a way of
escalating day by day,
becoming ever more violent
with the passage of time.
When permitted to run its
natural course, as in early
American history, the end
result can be feudal hatred
and murder.
Individual families are
similar to societies in their
need for law and order. In
the absence of justice,
“neighboring” siblings begin
to assault one another. The
older child is bigger and
tougher, which allows him to
oppress his younger broth
ers and sisters. But the jun
ior member of the family is
not without weapons of his
own. He strikes back by
People end cars
Earline Cole
Reflections
marybohl7@bellsouth.net
recall the time a Cadillac
was brought home. Now, can
you imagine anyone not
being appreciative of having
such a luxury? Well, this
ungrateful wife was
drives sponsored by the
church.
According to Eunice
Galloway, who is coordinat
ing the event, employs of
CB&T Bank and Wal-Mart
have signed up to partici
FAMILY&FAfTH
breaking the toys and prized
possessions of the older sib
ling and interferes when
friends are visiting. Mutual
hatred then erupts like an
angry volcano, spewing its
destructive contents on
everyone in its path.
In many homes, the par
ents do not have sufficient
disciplinary control to
enforce their judgments. In
others, they are so exasper
ated with constant bickering
among siblings that they
refuse to get involved. In
still others, parents require
an older child to live with an
admitted injustice “because
your brother is smaller than
you.” Thus, they tie his
hands and render him utter
ly defenseless against the
mischief of his bratty little
brother or sister. Even more
common today, mothers and
fathers are both working
while their children are
home busily disassembling
each other.
I will say it again to par
ents: One of your most
important responsibilities is
to establish an equitable
system of justice and a bal
ance of power at home.
There should be reasonable
“laws” that are enforced
fairly for each member of
the family. Let me list the
boundaries and rules that
extremely perturbed.
Believe it or not, the
ungrateful wife has become
a bargain hunter and is no
longer desires a brand new
vehicle. Several years ago a
newer and nicer van was
purchased with me in mind.
Guess who drives the newer
and nicer van and guess who
is clinging on to her older
van. You got that right and
it was by my own choice.
Reflecting back on the
statement thought to have
been made by the pastor,
there are a number of simi
larities to be noted.
One similarity to be sure,
my old vehicle and I would
look better with a paint job.
Then, just like the vehicle,
sometimes it is hard to get
cranked up to go, as well as
pate and Domino’s is deliv
ering fresh pizza to all
donors on the day of the
drive.
At the May drive, which
was in honor of Mother’s
Day, Pro Flowers con
evolved through the years in
my own home.
1. Neither child was ever
allowed to hiake fun of the
other in a destructive way.
Period! This was an inflexi
ble rule with no exceptions.
2. Each child’s room was
his or her private territory.
There were locks on both
doors, and permission to
enter was a revocable privi
lege. (Families with more
than one child in each bed
room can allocate available
living space for each young
ster.)
3. The older child was not
permitted to tease the
younger child.
4. The younger child was
forbidden to harass the
older child.
5. The children were not
required to play with each
other when they preferred
to be alone or with other
friends.
6. We mediated any gen
uine conflict as quickly as
possible, being careful to
show impartiality and
extreme fairness.
As with any plan of jus
tice, this plan requires: chil
dren’s respect for leadership
of the parent, willingness by
the parent to mediate and
the occasional enforcement
of punishment. When this
approach is accomplished
times of completely stalling.
Another quality is depend
ability. When my “Do-It-
Yourself” man completed
examining and repairing
outworn vehicles I knew I
could be secure driving and
traveling in the make-over.
I’ve never been completely
let down by a vehicle he
made available to me.
Above all comparisons,
neither automobiles or
humans can be counted on
100 percent of the time. But,
there is One beyond compar
ison Who never fails.
“Be strong, and of good
courage, fear not, not be
afraid of them: for the Lord
thy God, He it is that doth
go with thee; He will not fail
thee, nor forsake thee.
(Deuteronomy 31:6)
tributed a SSO gift certificate
for a drawing, which was
won by Brittany Adkins of
Perry.
This month’s drive is in
honor of America’s armed
forces around the world.
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, TOO IT’S 03/tft
with love, the emotional
tone of the home can be
changed from one of hatred
to (at least) tolerance.
• • •
Dr. Dobson is president of
the nonprofit organization
Focus on the Family, PO.
Box 444, Colorado Springs,
CO. 80903; or
www.family.org.
Dr. Dobson is brought to
you by WQSA 99.9 FM. You
can hear Dr Dobson week
days at 10 p.m., Sat. 9-10
p.m.
99.9 FM
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