Newspaper Page Text
March 3, 1909. T
Story Corner
"Father, Miss West gave ut each a sentence
to correct, and mine was, 'I went
to the tonsorial parlors to get a hair
cut."' "And how did you correct it?"
asked the father. "Why, I corrected it
the only way you could correct it. of
course: and Miss West lautrhed when
sheread It, and then she read It aloud,
and every one in the class shouted. They
didn't know it was my sentence, but 1
did." "But what did you write?" "Why,
father!! What would anyone write? I
wrote, 'I went to the tonsorial parlors
to get my tonsils cut,' of course!"?
Youth's Companion.
A member of the State legislature was
making a speech on some momentous
question, and, in concluding, said: "In
the words of Daniel Webster, who wrote
the dictionary, 'Give me liberty or give
me death!' " One of his colleagues pulled
at his coat, and whispered, "Daniel
Webster did not write the dictionary:
it was Noah." "Noah nothing," replied
the speaker: "Noah built the ark."?
Buffalo News.
Clara's auntie took her for a visit to
Niagara Falls. After viewing the great
waterfall for some time, and the little
girl falling to make any remarks, auntie
tried to draw some expression from her
as to what she thought of the spectacle.
Finally she said,?
"Clara, don't you think the falls are
beautiful, wonderful?" and was amazed
at the child's nonchalant reply,?
"O, yes. I s'pose so; but I fink our
creek at home could do it if It had a
place." '
It was raining outside, and little Irma
was interrogative. Father was busily
writing at his desk. "I say, pa, what"?
"Ask your mother!" "Honest, pa, this
Isn't a silly, one this time." "All right,
this once. What is it?" "Weil, If the
end of the world was to come, and the
earth was destroyed while a man was up
in an airship, where would he land
when he came down?"
The new minister in a Georgia church
was delivering his first sermon. The
darky janittor was a critical listener
from a back corner of the church. The
minister's sermon was eloquent, and his
prayers seemed to cover the whole
category of human wants.
After the services one of the deacons
asked the old darky what he thought of
the new minister. "Don't you think he
offers up a good prayer, Joe?"
"Ah mos' suhtainly does, boss. Why,
dat man axed de good Lord fo' things
dat de odder preacher didn't even know
He had!"?Everybody's Magazine.
Said a poet to an unfortunate speculator:
"Don't you think that the opening
lines of Tennyson's little poem, 'Break,
Break, Break,' are plaintive and sad?"
"Yes," was the melancholy reply. "But
I think that 'Broke, broke, broke,' is a
good deal sadder."
L
HE PRESBYTERIAN OF THE SOI
I
Your Cotton Cro
It costs no more to cu
two bales of cotton than
one-quarter of a bale. "V
wun
Virginia
Fert
Other men have been abl
their yield per acre with a libei
Fertilizers.
Messrs. Lucas & Jackson <
ginia-Carolina Fertilizer on aboi
say: "We have the finest crop
people around here think the sa
on one stalk. Another stalk h
sciuares and blossoms. On aboi
2 bales to the acre, and ar. ?stir
tilized and under other cultur.
five acres."
An interesting picture of th
found in the new 1909 Virginia-(
of which may be had from yoi
free, if you write our nearest si
Virginia-Carol
Sales Offices
Richmond, Va.
Norfolk, Va.
Columbia. S. C. VlrQlfill
Atlanta. G a. HgTT
Savannah, Ga.
Memphis, Tenn. HUHBh
%
Is the best "accident in
M in the world.
* H It relieves Cuts, Bruises,
H Tired and Blistered
Bk?
St immediately upon a]
cation. You will be d
lighted with one test!
At all Druggists.
23 and 30 Cents
BETHANY HOB
1643 N. Claiborne Av
New
Has large, airy rooms. Operating ro<
and Instruments. Under Presbyterian i
Influences. Offering every convenience a
Phone Hemlock 421.
Chenet lnstiti
3507 MAGAZINE STRE
New Orleans Louis:
4 * *
4
JTH.
p Can Be Increased
iltivate an acre that produces
an acre which produces only
Vhy not see what you can do
i-Carolina
ilizers
s to double and more than double
:al application of Virginia-Carolina
of Kelscy County, Tenn., used Virut
55 acres planted with cotton, and
of cotton we ever saw, and all the
me. We actually counted 447 bolls
lad by actual count 409 bolls, forms,
it 8 acres we expect to make about
nate of adjoining farms not so fermethods,
will yield only 1 bale to
e cotton plants referred to will bo
Carolina Farmers' Year Book, copy
iir fertilizer dealer, or will be sent
lies office. "
ina Chemical Co.
Sales Offices
Durham, N. C.
aCaroilnjJ Baltimore, Md.
emfoOlJflHfl Columbus, Ga.
Montgomery, Ala.
Shreveport, La.
IE SANITARIUM,
enue. Cor. Allen Street,
Orleans,
Dm furnished with all the modern appliances
management and surrounded with religious
ind excellent nursing, for terms apply to
FERDINAND KOELLE, Secretary.
M -
Sound Practical Education to
|I?T Young Men.
Prepares for Universities and
iET Professional Schools.
. Thorough Bookkeeping and Short*
I an a hand Courses at Moderate Rates.