Newspaper Page Text
6B
FRIDAY, OCTOBER 27, 2006
Difficult adopted daughter
needs attentive parenting
Question: We have an
adopted girl who came to
us when she was 4-years
old. She is very difficult
to handle and does pretty
much what she pleases.
For us to make her obey
would be very unpleas
ant for her, and frankly,
we don’t feel we have the
right to do that. She has
been through a lot in her
short life. Besides, we’re
not her real parents. Do
you think she’ll be OK if
we’ll just give her a lot of
love and attention?
DOBSON: I’m afraid you
have a formula for serious
problems with this girl later
on.
The danger is in seeing
yourselves as substitute
or “stand-in” parents who
don’t have the right to lead
her.
That is a mistake. Since
you have legally adopted this
child, you are her “real” par
ents, and your failure to see
it that way may be setting
up the defiant behavior you
mentioned.
This is a common error
made by parents of older
adopted children.
They pity their youngsters
too much to confront them.
They feel that life has
already been too hard on
them, and they must not
make things worse by disci
pline and occasional punish
ment.
As a result, they are ten
tat
ive and permissive with a
child who is crying out for
leadership.
Transplanted children
have the same needs for
guidance and discipline as
those remaining with their
biological parents.
One of the surest ways
to make them feel insecure
is to treat them as though
they are different, unusual
or brittle. If the parents view
such a child as an unfortu
nate waif to be shielded, he
will tend to see himself that
way too.
Parents of sick and handi
capped children often make
this same mistake.
They find discipline hard
er to implement because of
BRIEFS
From page jB
Sunday. All are invited to
this service of music and fel
lowship. Call 987-0237 for
more information.
New motto
“Speaking Where The
Bible Speaks” is the new
motto for the Bonaire Church
of Christ. Sunday services
include Bible study at 10
a.m., and worship services at
11 a.m. and 6 p.m Wednesday
Bible Study begins at 7 p.m.
Bonaire Church of Christ is
located at 459 Highway 247
in Bonaire. Phillip Stuckey
is the evangelist. All visitors
are welcome.
Divorce recovery
workshop
A divorce recovery work
shop is being held at First
Christian Church, U.S. 41
and Perry Parkway. Meetings
will be held every Thursday
for 10 weeks, starting at
7 p.m. The workshop and
childcare are free. Call 956-
4800 to sign up.
Pumpkin patch time
The 11th Annual Pumpkin
Patch of Christ United
Methodist Church is now
open. CUMC is celebrating
11 years of this popular com
munity outreach. The patch
is an attraction for kids of
all ages, offering face paint
ing, a beanbag toss, a tic
tac-toe board, and a maze.
Story time with preschool
ers and elementary age chil
dren is also very popular.
Last year more than 900
children visited the patch
as part of pre-school or ele
mentary groups, as well as
hundreds of families who
visit during the month. The
Pumpkin Patch can be found
at Christ United Methodist
the tenderness they feel for
that child.
Thus, a boy or girl with
a heart condition or some
serious illness can become a
little terror, simply because
the usual behavioral bound
aries are not established and
defended
It must be remembered
that the
■need to
be led and
governed
is almost
universal
in child
hood, and
it isn’t
lessened
Dr. James by other
Dobson problems
Focus on the Family and dif
ficulties
in life. In some cases, the
desire for boundaries is
actually increased by other
troubles, for it is through
loving control that parents
build security and a sense of
personal worth in a child.
Returning to the question,
I advise you to love that lit
tle girl like crazy - and hold
her to the same standards
of behavior that you would
your own flesh and blood.
Remember, you are her
parents!
Question: I have a
friend whose children
drive me crazy when I’m
around them. They are
the most undisciplined
brats I’ve ever seen. We
can’t even talk when they
are around. I would love
to help my friend with
a few disciplinary tips.
How can I do this with
out offending her?
DOBSON: When you want
to point out a flaw or short
coming in someone else’s
behavior or character, you do
it the way porcupines make
love: very, very carefully.
Otherwise, you’re likely to
lose a friend.
Pointing out parenting
mistakes in others is even
riskier.
You’re liable to get your
ears pinned back for trying
it - even when your motives
are honorable and you have
a child’s interest at heart.
That’s why I never offer
Church Pumpkin Patch, on
511 Russell Parkway on the
front lawn of the church
until Tuesday.
The patch is open from
9 a.m. until dark, Monday
through Saturday, and on
Sundays from 1-6 p.m. Call
the church office at 922-0211
to make a reservation for
preschool, elementary school
or daycare groups.
Celebrate recovery
at Unity Baptist
Need help for a hurt,
hang-up or habit? Celebrate
Recovery meetings are at
Unity Baptist Church of
Bonaire every Wednesday at
6:30 p.m. Children’s program
is available. Unity Baptist is
located at 79 Highway 96,
between Houston Lake Road
and Moody Road. For infor
mation call 922-0063.
First Baptist
Kathleen festival
First Baptist Church
Kathleen, 101 Bear Branch
Rd., will hold a Fall Festival
Saturday from 6 p.m. - 9
p.m. There will be hotdogs,
chili, marshmallow roast and
hayrides. Also, there will be
booths for all ages and plen
ty of candy. Bring your chil
dren and have a Christian
alternative to Halloween.
All Saints Episcopal
Church holding sale
All Saints Episcopal
Church located at 1708
Watson Blvd., Warner
Robins is holding its annual
frozen casserole sale now
through Monday. Orders
can be placed by calling the
church at 478-923-1791 and
they can picked up Nov. 11
from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. at the
church. Crafts and baked
goods will also be available
at the time of pickup.
unsolicited advice about
other people’s children, no
matter how badly I think it
is needed.
If you insist on telling
the other mother what she
doesn’t want to hear, let me
suggest that you first invest
some time and effort in your
friend.
When a relationship of
confidence has been careful
ly constructed, you’ll have
then earned the right to offer
her some gentle advice.
There are no shortcuts to
this process.
Dr. Dobson is founder and
chairman of the board of
the nonprofit organization
Focus on the Family, P.O.
Box 444, Colorado Springs,
CO. 80903; or www.family.
org. Questions and answers
are excerpted from “The
Complete Marriage and
Family Home Reference
Guide” and “Bringing Up
Boys, ” both published by
Tyndale House.
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RELIGION
What is trick or treat?
“The Lord gazes down
upon mankind from heaven
where
love s .
He has fmmW
ma d e |;-U
their Bk
hear t s 1
a n 11
closely '
watches
every- tarlme Cole
thing
they
do. ” - Psalms 33: 13 - 15,
Living Bible.
Halloween is looked
upon as an immoral cel
ebration by many.
Evil practices have
invaded times of enjoy
ment within neighbor
hoods.
However, our youngsters
and teens are fortunate
to have supervised events
made available through
churches and local orga
nizations where they can
safely have Halloween
fun.
The danger of receiv
ing treats, which could
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be camouflaged tricks, is
the reason many “Trick or
Treaters” no longer call
upon everyone in the neigh
borhood.
The little ghosts, gob
lins and other make-believe
characters are selective as to
which houses will be includ
ed on their Halloween tour.
They go where they know
they will be welcomed and
know their treat will not be
harmful to them.
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jik
HOUSTON DAILY JOURNAL
Regardless of personal
feelings toward the tradi
tion, we are fortunate to
have trusting relationships
with others, especially the
younger generation.
Tuesday when beckoned
to the door and greeted with
voices chiming, “Trick or
Treat! . . . Trick or Treat!”
we are being honored in a
special way.
Our role is to respond
with love.
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