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♦ WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 1, 2008
4A
OPINION
Is dating a dress
rehearsal... for divorce?
Everyone seems to love the rush
of a new romance. So much
so that marriages - not just
dating relationships - often end up in
crisis because one (or both) has lost the
“buzz.”
Here’s the scenario: Two people
meet, are attracted, feel infatuation,
start dating, enjoy the buzz of being
in a new relationship, and bask in the
approving glow of their peers. But
eventually the buzz fades and things
that were once hidden are revealed; a
bad habit here, an annoying behavior
there, and suddenly they’re wonder
ing if the relationship is worth it. The
excitement is gone, the relationship
ends and they move on and start over.
Rinse and repeat.
Here’s a question that may rile up
some parents - including me: could
it be that the seeds for future mari
tal breakup are sowed by the dating
relationships of our youth and young
adulthood?
At some point daters will find them
selves married, where this cycle can eas
ily rear its ugly head again. Happiness
fades, the excitement of raising a fam
ily fades, someone else seems new and
exciting, and once again the impulse
to move on wells up. In other words,
the stakes may be bigger and the rela
tional cycles longer, but the game is
the same.
Dating is widely accepted as a way
to learn about other people and your
self - to figure out the kind of person
you want to be paired with the rest of
your life. But as we all know, dating
relationships at any age can be driven
by emotion, appearance and physical
involvement. And because these rela
tionships are often based on the excite
ment and feelings of being in a dating
The truth about Fair Bear (uncensored)
Me an’ the boysHbeen layin’ low
this week, an’ getting’ things
ready for our big move over
to the Fairgrounds, which we always
do at fair time.
October is always a big month for
us hogs, what with the fair, an’ Mossy
Creek an’the Big Pig Jig (which we
gon’ destroy).
Don’t nobody love the Georgia
National Fair like me an’ the boys.
We get to snuffle up all that good food
people drop everwhere. I gained 20
pounds las’ year on cotton candy an’
funnel cakes.
We done been banned from the
Georgia Living Center cause of kinda
tastin’ the baked goods and eatin’ the
flowers, but we still get to listen’ to
the concerts, an’ ride the rides an’ go
to the circus, an watch all them swine
beauty pageants.
We tryin’ to talk Pearlie into enterin’
one of them swine beauty contests
this year, but she says she ain’t unless
they’s a scholarship, so we gotta fine
out about that, an’ we gotta fine some
4-H chile to be her escort.
Only prollem is we gotta watch out
for Fair Bear, who is always tellin’ the
police when he sees us, like we was
some kinda wile animals.
We’ll be mindin’ our own bidness, or
getting’ on the carousel and jumpin’ up
Columnist Wm. ||gp
Georgia Family Council BH
relationship, and being with someone
who reciprocates those feelings, it’s
not always easy to objectively evaluate
what’s really going on. In essence, we
love being in love. We love the feeling.
While some teens have a deep sense
of genuine “love,” the fact is that teen
dating often lends itself to shallow and
temporary relationships. Infatuation
is often mistaken for “love” and
“romance” is devoid of anything sub
stantive because the relationship is
based on mutual attraction, not genu
ine friendship. And when the feelings
are stripped away, you discover that
the relationship was built on sand.
Rinse and repeat.
Do all these experiences, often
repeated multiple times, seem like a
good way to prepare for the challenge
of making a marriage work? Perhaps
we should ask ourselves the question:
Instead of preparation for marriage,
are teenage dating relationships really
a dress rehearsal for divorce?
I know couples who dated in high
school and have been happily married
for decades, but that is the exception
to the rule by a wide margin. By and
large the dating environment doesn’t
prepare people very well for marriage.
Marriage requires unconditional love
that transcends difficult times and per
sists regardless of feelings; love that
desire the best for the other person
“... Guess he must have heard about the bailout."
Ponderings j
porky@evansnewspapers.com Moo ckm l!
an’ down like the horses, or just sittin’
there watchin’ a show an’ here’ll come
Fair Bear with the police.
' Fair Bear has got it in for us since
we done tol’ everbody that the real fair
bear got runned over on 1-75 way long
time ago.
See, what mos’ people don’ know is
that the Fair Bear they got ain’t the
original, and ain’t even from aroun
here. Thas just one they hire ever year,
prolly from China or New York City,
so y’all won’t know that the real one’s
dead. Either that or it could be a robot
in a bear suit what’s working for the
police, ‘cause 80-Diddley bit him one
time on the leg and he dint even hol
ler. «
The real fair bear, what I knowed
growin’ up, was Jim Bob Bearfield,
an was borned up pear Oaky Woods
an’ moved down here cause it was get
ting’ crowded up there, an’ then he got
runned over.
even when they are unlovely. Romance
is great, and has a definite place in
marriage, but when it comes to weath
ering difficult times, or just the every
day routine of life, it isn’t enough.
The soil of healthy, lasting marriage
is a sort of unconditional friendship
out of which blooms the perennial
of romance. Perhaps this is a bit of a
forced metaphor, but don’t miss my
point. Sometimes romance might be
dormant, but that doesn’t mean it
won’t return.
In reality, a successful marriage
really has more to do with friendship
than with romance. Friendship creates
familiarity and understanding that
forms the basis of relating in everyday
experiences. It is far better for young
people to learn how to have friend
ships with the opposite sex than to just
date. Which is why it is important for
us as parents to take an active role in
our children’s dating lives. Part of our
responsibility as moms and dads is
recognizing dangers that our children
cannot. Here are a few suggestions to
help them avoid dating pitfalls:
1) Teach them the importance of
friendship over romance.
2) Don’t let them date until a
certain age and make that age clear to
them years before.
3) Encourage group settings to
develop friendships.
4) Know the parents of your kids’
friends.
5) Have a curfew and stick to it.
6) Don’t allow opposite-sex com
pany when you’re not home.
7) Talk to your children about
sex early and often. Despite their dis
missive attitude, they are listening
and want to hear what we have to say
See HICKS, page fA
So they stuft him, which I spose was
more dignified than puttin’ him in the
landfill. '
Me an’ the boys always go pay our
respecks to the stuft remains of Jim
Bob, which is in the office up front,
but we ain’t studdin’ that hired bear.
We always pay our respecks to the
mule stachoo too, even if we do think
it should been a hog stachoo
After the Georgia National, we got
Mossy Creek which is real good, too,
and don’t have no hired bears out
there actin’ smart. They got good real
good music an’ corn on the cob an’ we
always take the hayride.
Plus theys got that magician and
we’s always tryin’ to figger out how
he does them magic tricks. We tried
to get Pearlie to go up there one time
as a volumteer but she wudn’t cause
she says she’s scart he goin’ make her
discappear.
We’s also tryin’ to figur’ out how he
makes them little shapes with balloons
but we’s havin’ a hard time with dat
cause-a not havin’ no fingers and all.
Anyway, we been buildin’ up our
strength, eatin’ a lotta moonpies, cause
onct the fair season we gon’ be
goin’ night an’ day, and after that we
gotta destroy the Big Pig Jig.
"One voice can make a difference"
If you wait long enough, the
answer just might come to you
The question was asked some months back:
“At what point do we step in and do something?”
The question was posed to Dan Laßar of Warner
Robins and by .Houston County Commission
Chairman Ned Sander.
Dan Laßar was standing before that body and
asking them to restore the cul de sac he lives
on back to a cul de sac (in accordance with the
county map). His sole argument was that his
neighbor had put up a fence, planted hedges,
piled up and left a mound of dirt. He further
defined that a good deal of this construction, et
cetera, had taken place on the public right of way.
In short: It was now impossible for people to drive
in and drive out in one circular motion. Instead,
visitors were having to pull into his driveway to
turn around.
That in turn prompted Sanders,’ response: “At
what point do we step in and do something?” He
qualified that statement. “Just about everybody”
has something on the “public right of way.”
“Even mailboxes are on the right of way,
Sanders said. “So do we tell all of these people
to move their mailbox?”
That’s hard to argue with. It places it in clear
perspective. But please read on in regard to what
we believe has become the “exception to the
norm”.
Laßar was not content to settle for Sanders’
answer - although he did admit he knew where
the commissioners were coming from.
So, at the next meeting he returned. This time
he brought photos. Big photos. He wanted to
ensure the commissioners could see what he
was talking about. .
The results were the same but Sanders did
agree to go by and look - for the third time for him
- as well as to bring Commissioner Jay Walker
along. He also invited the other commissioners
to go by at their leisure and look as well. They
agreed.
Sanders and Walker were good as their word.
They went by and did a thorough examination of
the area. Sanders counted off steps. He walked
unseen boundaries, drew imaginary circles
See ANSWER, page 7 A
LETTER TO THE EDITOR
Voting for the candidate who hires
the best actors
I watched Jim Marshall’s attack on Rick Goddard with
great interest, and I must state that Marshall needs to
hire better actors. In his ad, Marshall attacks Goddard, say
ing his opponent said illegals take jobs Americans won’t do
and uses obvious Americans at a construction site as his
example that Goddard is wrong.
It was obvious they were Americans because they weren't
doing anything. Marshall needs to hire better actors.
See LETTER, page SA
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