Newspaper Page Text
November, 1922
THE ATLANTIAN
27
PAYING THE FIDDLERS.
Old King Coal is a merry old soul;
Or perhaps it is only a rumor.
But at least we know that the prices
show
A peculiar sense of humor.
His Wife—Baby's sutting teeth. Can
you give him a silver dollar to bite on ?
Titus Canby—I can lend him a sil
ver dollar at the usual rate of seven
per cent and five per cent commission,
which I will take out of his penny
bank.
I’ve been in college, now, twelve years,
But I’m hoping for the best.
I’ve seen three classes graduate,
I really need a good long rest.
I’m growing old, and still in school;
My chance is growing lesser,
But I don’t mind, I’m getting paid—
For I’m a good professor.
—Notre Dame Juggler.
Woman (to tramp)-^This is the
fourth time the last two weeks you
have been begging at my door. Are
you always out of work?
Tony—No, madam. But I have
been particularly fortunate the last
few weeks.—California Pelican.
“Say, what are you crying about?”
“My dog just died.”
“That’s nothing. My grandma died
and I didn’t cry.”
“Well, you didn’t raise your grand
ma from a pup, did you ?”
O ATHENA!
Artist Says Girls of Old Greek Type
Are on Way.—Headline.
They, too, will probably be held up
at Ellis Island.—New York Sun.
The Dean was exceedingly angry.
“So you confess that this unfortu
nate young man was carried to the
pond and drenched? Now, what part
did you take in this disgraceful af
fair?
“The right leg, sir,” answered the
sophomore meekly.—Johns Hopkins
Black and Blue Jay.
The Visitor—Why were you divorc
ed from your husband ?
Lady of the House—Why, our cook
disliked him so that she threatened
to leave if I kept him.—Fremont Mes
senger.
“They say you’re going to America.
What are you going to do there?”
“Save up enough for the return
trip.”—Sondags-Nisse (Stockholm).
Philip—There should be a law
against that cheek-to-cheek hold in
dancing.
Philippa—I never thought you were
Lou—Why are you always so par
ticular about the taxicabs you choose ?
Sue—Because I want them to match
the dresses I wear.
LET “PAT DO IT”
510 Courtland St.
Sutton’s Pharmacy
296 WEST PEACHTREE ST.
Phones, Hemlock 0263 and Hemlock 9131
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Have Your Prescriptions Filled at
At Our Store.
Our Delivery System Is Complete.
If It Is Kept in a First-Class Drug
Store We Have It.
Sutton’s Pharmacy
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Drop in and hear our Radio evenings.
GORDON’S
5 NORTH BROAD
At Peachtree Arcade Entrance
+++♦+♦
Hosiery
Negligees
Lingeries, Etc.
Shop With Us and Shop Early
Gordon's Better Service and Gordon’s Low
er Prices Will Appeal to You
l +♦♦♦+♦
CALL ON US
Flapper—What are you thinking
about Sid?
Sid—Well! Something nice, I guess.
“Oh, Sidney, dear, you make me so
happy!”
Lady of the House—Another drum
mer?
Salesman—No, ma’am. I play a
violin!
“What do ye mean tellin’ me them
Government people is goin’ to give
you one hundred dollars for that freak
bird?”
“Lissen here, am gonna get one
hundred bucks for this here bird, and
want you to know that it is no freak
bird neither. It is a carrier pigeon
crossed with a parrot and delivers
them messages out loud.”
“Say, Georgia, I wish you would
quit chasing around to afternoon teas
and take up golf; you’re getting fat
again.”
“Thank you, Edward; but as far as
I can see that’s all there is to your
old golf, just chasing from one tee to
another.”
“Yes, Judge, my wife hit me on the
head with a book.”
Judge—What sort of a book ?
“Heavy reading matter, Judge.”
Ted—With the knell of the short
skirt the great show is over.
Ned—I suppose so. The girls are
beginning to drop the curtain.
THE MAGIC MELODY.
We’ve all heard tales of how girls fall
For men \yho daf.ce and sing,
And how they rave about the boys
Who make the ivories ring.
A tune is apt to win a girl,
But make it all secure
And learn to blow'an auto horn;
You’ll get her then for sure.
—Pennsylvania Punch Board.
Student—Beg pardon, sir, but what
is this that you have written on my
theme ?
Professor—I told you to write more
legibly.—Iowa Frivol.
“Dis coal strike am gonna make it
er hard winter fer us, Sawdust.”
“Why so, Ambrose?”
“ ’Cause dey’ll be s’much mo’ wood
dat we’ll hafta refuse t’ cut!”
Jones (to College Senior)—When do
you expect to graduate?
College Senior—Every year.
“I’ve had my name put up at the
country club, old man.”
“Why, I didn’t know you played
golf!”
“I don’t, but I’m in the insurance
business!”
Him—This tunnel cost millions of
dollars.
Her—An entire waste of money as
far as you’re concerned, isp’t it?—
Penn State Froth,