Newspaper Page Text
28
THE ATLANTIA li
November, 1922
BREWER’S
Capitol View Pharmacy, Stewart Ave. Pharmacy,
453 Stewart Avenue. 231 Stewart Avenue.
Phone West 1277. Phone West 1610.
Oakland City Pharmacy
705 Lee Street
Phone West 2089
“1 he Stores With a Smile”
Brewer & Chandler
PROPRIETORS
Drugs, Sundries,
Cigars, Soda Water,
Periodicals
AT IT AGAIN.
Two old English women who had
not been on speaking terms were
brought together by friends who de
sired to patch up their quarrel. There
was an embarrassed silence between
them for a moment, then one ventur
ed, “Well, Mrs. ’Iggins, I wish you all
you wishes me.”
“An’ 'oo’s sayin' narsty things
now?” snapped the other woman.—
Boston Transcript.
Departing Passenger—This is mis
erable street car service.
Conductor—Why, what’s the mat
ter? Couldn’t you get a seat?
“Sure I got a seat. But my wife
had to stand up all the way.”—Chi
cago Ledger.
A minister, preparatory to learning
golf, was going around the course
with a friend when they came up
with two players who were figurative
ly scorching the green with cuss
words. Discovering the minister, one
said:
“Please excuse us, reverend. You
know how golfers are. We always
call a spade a spade.”
“I’m glad to hear it, Graham,” re
plied the minister. “I was thinking
you’d call it a dam shovel.!’
Professor—Look, Martha, at the
young man running in haste toward
his classroom. The boy must be eager
for knowledge.
The Wife—But you forget that it is
raining, Thomas.—Washington and
Jefferson Wag Jag.
“And you wouldn’t begin a journey
on Friday?”
“Not I.”
“I can’t understand how you can
have faith in such a silly supersti
tion.”
“No superstition about it. Satur
day’s my pay day.”—Pathfinder.
O’Hara—And are ye gping to leave
this pile o’dirt here all night?
O’Mara—Begorra, phwhat will Oi
do wi’ it, man ?
“Dig a hole and shovel it in.”
He—Hey, there’s no swimming al
lowed here.
She—Why didn’t you tell me be
fore I got undressed?
“Well, there’s no law against that.”
—New York Medley.
Teacher—Where was the Declara
tion of Independence signed?
Willie (after three minutes of si
lence)—At the bottom.—Pitt Panther.
LET “PAT DO IT”
510 Courtland St.
THE LAZIN’EST NIGGER.
This conversation was heard on a
diner between the head chef and an
other chef who was sent on an errand.
Being gone longer than the head chef
liked, the latter said to his assistant
on his return: “Well, nigger, you can
go the fudderest the quickest, and stay
the longest, and do the lessest of any
nigger I ever saw.”—Atlanta Consti
tution.
As the new preacher of the colored
Baptist church was passing one morn
ing he leaned over the fence to admire
Sam Hill’s flowers.
“Sam,” he said, “I understand you
have a white poppy.”
Sam became indignant. “N-o, sah,”
he said, emphatically, “you been hear
ing ’bout Samuel Johnson. My dad
dy’s black as de ace o’ spades.”
The son and his family had gone
over to the grandparents for Sunday
dinner. Grandpa was in the midst
of an argument when dinner was an
nounced, and after seating himself
still kept talking for so long that
little grandson, sitting next to him,
finally touched him on the arm and
said: “Hurry up and read your plate,
grandpa, I’m hungry!”
When you tell a man something, it
goes in one ear and out the other;
when you tell a woman something, it
goes in both ears and comes out of her
mouth.—Michigan Gargoyle.
Mr. Johnson, deacon in the local
church, owned drug store in a
small town. The church was in need
of new hymnals. Mr. Johnson of
fered to furnish the much-neqded
books provided he could place an ad
vertisement on the inside.
After due consideration the pastor
and church membership agreed to this
offer and in the course of time the
books arrived.
The following Sunday morning the
pastor, in announcing the arrival of
the new hymnal, said: “I have the
pleasure to present to you this morn
ing the new hymnals so generously
furnished by Brother Johnson. We
should be doubly grateful to Brother
Johnson, for after careful examina
tion I find the brother has refrained
from placing a secular advertisement
in so sacred a book. We will now sing
hymn on page 162.
‘“Hark! the Angel Voices Sing.
Johnson’s pills are just the thing.
Hear their voices, ever mild,
Two for man and one for child!’ ”
Servant—There’s a man to see you,
sir.
Master—Tell himjto take a chair.
“He has, sir. He’s taken them all,
and they’re moving out the piano now.
He’s from the f.Vniture store.”—Dart
mouth Jack o! Lantern.
“Close the bar and cork all bottles,”
shouted the captain as the ship cross
ed the three-mile limit. “We are now
going into dry dock.”
WALK-OVER
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SHOE STORE
35 Whitehall Street