Newspaper Page Text
The Southern Cross, Page 8
FaMht AMwi
Thursday, August 24, 2000
Asking the right questions
about the aged
By Father Richard Rice, SJ
Catholic News Service
Aft
fter 60 years of life, 52 of them
blind, my friend Larry finally has fig
ured out how to deal with sighted
people who want to be helpful. For
years he would approach a gate at an
airport or be seated in a restaurant
and, as soon as he mentioned he was
blind, the airline agent or waiter
would spring into action as if he was
landing at Anzio on Italy’s west coast
or as if she was a trauma nurse at an
accident scene.
After considerable trial and error,
Larry has learned simply to say, “I
am a person,” and after a suitable
pause to add, “who is blind.” Usu
ally the response then is completely
different. The agent relaxes, the
waiter smiles. They ask, “How can I
help you?” and Larry proceeds with
CNS photo from Cleo Freelance Photo
them from there.
That story points out to me what
we temporarily younger people are
most likely to forget regarding per
sons who are elderly, as well as those
who are blind. Our culture is deeply
prejudiced against our elders. Ageism
— discrimination based on age — is
alive and well.
A Jesuit friend of mine in his
mid-80s likes to say, after watching
commercials aimed at people his
age, that he is convinced “every
thing hurts, and what does not
hurt, does not work.”
■ ■ ■
Our first task as Christians is to
treat those among us who are elderly
as persons who still
have hopes and
dreams, and who are
rich reservoirs of
memory and wisdom.
Just ask yourself
whether you know people 75 or older
and if you still listen to them as if they
have anything worthwhile to say. If
you can answer yes, then you are defi
nitely countercultural, and you know
you have a blessed relationship.
Or take a picture of yourself from
10 years ago and ask yourself how you
have changed during these years. As
Father Henri Nouwen and Walter
Gaffney wrote in the superb book Ag
ing, “to receive the elderly into our
inner self is far from easy.... In our
deepest self we keep living with the
illusion that we will always be the
same.”
If we can acknowledge our own ag
ing at 32 or 47, then we will be much
ur first task as Christians is to treat
those among us who are elderly as persons
who still have hopes and dreams,
and who are rich reservoirs of
memory and wisdom.”
more comfortable with both our elders
and ourselves.
1. So, our first task is to personalize
our sisters and brothers who are ag
ing and, in the process, personalize
ourselves.
2. Our second task flows immedi
ately from the first. An aspect of our
ageism is that our culture typically
views those who are aging as declin
ing and moving toward the grave. Yet
our faith views them as close disciples
of Jesus who are carrying an often-
difficult cross, and as ones who are
progressing toward our eternal home.
I love joining 89-year-old Sister
Raimundine for spiritual direction be
cause I can hear the door to heaven
open a little wider for her every time
we speak.
The questions here are whether I
believe those who are elderly are pro
gressing or declining, closer to home
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or farther away. Am I more a person
of my culture or of my faith?
3. Our third task is to remember
that caring for our elderly people does
not primarily mean doing something
to them or for them, but being with
them and allowing them to serve as
they are able.
In their excellent 1999 document,
“Blessings of Age,” the U.S. bishops
remind Catholics that “our first
question should not be “How can the
parish serve older people?” but in
stead “How can the parish receive
and fully embrace the gifts of older
persons?”
Aware of the closeness of death,
they, like all of us, still are primarily
interested in life and need to be given
life choices.
B ■ ■
One of our most eloquent elders,
Florida Scott-Maxwell, wrote: “My 80s
are passionate. I grow more intense as
I age. To my own surprise I burst out
with hot conviction.”
My mother is less intense, but no
less poetic. At 86 she says, “The sun
shines on the days I am able to help
someone else.”
In 1970 Simone de Beauvoir shared
these thoughts in The Coming of Age:
“The issues of age challenge the whole
society and put the whole society to
the test.”
Few realize the truth of that as well
as Pope John Paul II, who wrote a
remarkably tender letter to the eld
erly this past year. He concluded it
with a personal reflection:
“Despite the limitations brought on
by age, I continue to enjoy life. For
this I thank the Lord. It is wonderful
to be able to give oneself to the very
end for the sake of the kingdom of
God.”
With our understanding, reverence
and encouragement, perhaps more of
our elderly brothers and sisters could
echo his words.
(Jesuit Father Rice is a spiritual
director with Loyola, a spiritual re
newal resource in St. Paul, Minn.)
Five basic principles that parishes should bear in mind about ministry
to older people are found in the November 1999 U.S. bishops’ document
titled “Blessings of Age: A Pastoral Message on Growing Older Within the
Faith Community.” The principles follow:
“1. Older people are providers, not just recipients, of pastoral care.”
“2. Older people themselves should help to identify their pastoral needs
and decide how they are met.”
“3. Older people are as diverse, if not more so, than other generational
groups. ”
Our population of older people includes women and men; single,
widowed, separated, divorced and married people; religious-order
members and clergy; all races and ethnic backgrounds; and an age range
of 20 or more years. “They challenge the faith community to be as
inclusive as possible in parish programming.”
“4. Older people need a mix of activities that connect them with each
other as well as the larger faith community.”
“5. Spiritual health affects and is affected by the individual’s physical,
emotional, mental and social health. While the faith community is
especially concerned about meeting spiritual needs, it cannot ignore these
other realities.”
28 David Gibson, Editor, Faith Alive!