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OBITUARY
Health and Healing
The gay and lesbian community is challenged to find
and improve ways of maintaining our health and
healing our hearts and our bodies. This column will
offer insight and advice by various writers with a range
of viewpoints and expertise. To submit an article or
request a topic, contact Franklin Abbott in care of
Southern Voice, P.O. Box 54719, Atlanta, GA 30308
John Rushing Howell
11/7/33 - 6/28/88
known as "John Howell Park".
The litany of John's involvement and
his years of direct service to affect social
change and improve the quality of life
Stokes of Atlanta and other family
members - a large and devoted circle of
friends, gay and straight, who will
always carry him in their hearts.
Crisis, Opportunity and Family Healing
The existence of a health crisis within the
gay community has finally been
acknowledged. Less so is that the health crisis
existed long before the spread of HIV within
the gay male population. Clearly a population
with epidemic exposure to Hepatitis B,
substance abuse estimates ranging from 25% -
50% of the population, a high suicide attempt
rate in its youth and most heavily targeted for
hate crimes, has health problems that transcend
HIV and the AIDS era. I believe that the
origin and continuation of these problems can
be traced to the dynamics of denial and
isolation that often become entrenched in the
individual and in the family when a core issue
is maintained in a state of secrecy and denial. I
believe the seriousness of the current health
crisis has eroded the viability of both secrecy
and denial and this erosion, while frightening
and painful, creates certain opportunities.
The majority of gay men and lesbians can
recall a time during childhood when they
realized that they had a secret Perhaps
somewhat formless but nevertheless real, its
existence, not to mention content should never
be revealed. Such a state of secrecy can only
be maintained through withdrawal from
emotional intimacy. Uncorrected,overtime,
the familial response is often mutual
withdrawal, distortion and denial. For the
child the experience of parental love is
compromised and healthy self-love and self
esteem is damaged. Parents often experience a
puzzling sense of failure. The AIDS epidemic
has alarmed most families of gay men. Yet
despite the loss of denial many families
remain locked in isolation and secrecy.
It does not have to be this way. While there
are undoubtedly some parents and families that
will reject their gay members if the truth is
revealed, my experience tells me that many if
not most families can reconcile in a
meaningful way. Reconciliation is a two-way
street, however. It means giving up the
position of being the misunderstood outsider
and working at overcoming withdrawal. It
involves giving up the advantages of
victimhood. In this case it involves changing
deeply ingrained interactional patterns, re
examining core values and exercising patience,
compassion, wisdom and forgiveness.
Louise Hay says that we become ready to
forgive when being happy becomes more
important than being right Recently I have
seen this dynamic come into play in several
families of gay men. In each case the
precipitating factor was a diagnosis of ARC.
In each case, the individual commented on the
irony that it took a diagnosis to get the family
members dealing with each other. Each of
these individuals came forth courageously to
his family. My question is, does it really take a
diagnosis? How many families are waiting for
their children to break the silence, the
frightened and worried silence?
The answer, I believe, is quite a few. Some
will have a hard time accepting. No worthy
goal is without risks, but risks can be evaluated
and conflicts can be resolved. October 12th is
National Coming Out Day. Hopefully the
attendant publicity will help families and
individuals move a step closer to sharing.
- David Bassett, MSW, LCSW
David Bassett is a psychotherapist practicing
in the Buckhead area. He has extensive
experience in individual and family
psychotherapy and a particular interest in the
integration of the two. He can be reached at
351-5307.
On June 28th, John Howell died at
his home from AIDS. His death marks
the loss of a vital and active community
member and a gentle and caring man.
His legacy of love and activism
stretches over a period of more than
thirty years.
John received his undergraduate
degree from Milsaps College in
Jackson, Mississippi and his Masters of
Social Work from Tulane University.
His social work career began in
Mississippi in public child welfare and
included a period of time working with
Hanson's disease and community mental
health services. In Atlanta, John worked
for the state of Georgia in day care, for
the U.S. Children's Bureau, the Social
Security Administration and was
currendy working at the Veterans
Administration Hospital in the Alcohol
and Drug Center.
John's community work included
participation in the lesbian/gay chapter
of the ACLU since 1981 when it was
formed. He served on the board of the
Georgia ACLU, initially as chapter
president and then as as independent
openly gay citizen. He was a founding
member of GOAL (Georgians Against
Archaic Laws). His participation was
critical in obtaining funds for on-going
litigation. John was the second openly
gay citizen appointed to public office in
the City of Atlanta with his nomination
to the License and Review Board. He
was a founder of the Georgia AIDS
Action Council, LEGAL (Legislate
Equality for Lesbians and Gays) and an
active board member of SAME
(Southeastern Arts, Media and
Education Project).
John was president of the Virginia
Highland Civic Association for two
terms where he worked to restore that
neighborhood.Atlanta Councilmember
Maiy Davis will introduce an ordinance
on July 5th requesting that Virginia-
Highland Park be renamed and be
John Howell (R) and his lover, Gil Litton at the 1979 March on Washington.
for the gay and lesbian community is
long. The effect of John's work will
always be remembered. The loss of his
warmth and love and caring and
stubborn hope and participation will be
missed.
John is survived by his sister and
brother-in-law, Rosemary and Jim
Stokes of Orlando, Fla., his nephew, Jim
John's memorial service will be held
on Saturday, July 9 at 4:00 PM at the
Unitarian Universalist Church at 1911
Cliff Valley Way.
All donations should be
sent to the
Atlanta Humane Society.
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