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Agriculture, JHmrafnrturrs, &r.
Prospects of the Crop.
Notwithstanding the frost of the 15th April, last year, the
crops are much more unpromising than they were twelve
months ago. This is attributable to the cold and wet spring.
The quantity of rain that has fallen since the first of Decem
ber, has been so great as to keep the rivers continually swol
len—in fact we have heard of instances in which the crop of
corn has been flooded five or six times since the first of
March. Our river planters in this neighborhood have re
planted within the last two weeks, and those cultivating the
low lands below Demopolis, have not, it is said, finished plant
ing.
The weather has been such as to generate far more than
the usual numbet of insects upon the cotton and these, togeth
er with the countless disasters to which that delicate plant
is subject, have caused it to die and to continue dying, so
that most planters are complauing much of bad stands. If
June shall be as warm as usual, it will be impossible to re
place the stands—in fact much of the late planting will be
killed by the heat of the Sun. Com is also small, irregular
and unthrifty in appearance; and withal, both it and cotton
is incumbered with more than the usual compliment of grass.
To all this we have to add, the Rice birds have been exceed
ingly destructive to the wheat crop. We have heard of
planters cutting their wheat for hay—saying the grain was
all gone, and of others who are merely permitl'ng it to ripen,
In the hope that they may obtain seed from it.
So far as the cotton planter is concerned, the shortness of
the crop is a matter of but little consequence, if the loss falls
alike upon us all. We believe the disaster is general, if not
universal throughout the cotton growing region. If we make
but little it is gathered with less labour, and sells for a Letter
price.— Tuscaloosa Observer, %"ith ult.
The editor of the Southern Enterprise, published at Fort
Gaines, Ga. says:
The next Cotton crop will undoubtedly be short even of last
year's crop. We have lately been travelling the river, as
many of our readers know, and during our travel we have
talked with a number of planters, and all complain of not hav
ing more than a half stand of cotton in their farms, and even
what they have is dying. Several have been replanting but
find it impossible to replant it as fast as it dies. In addition to
all this, the whole cotton crop this year is backward.
With these facts before onr eyes, together with unfavorable
accounts from almost every cotton growing region in the South
we should not wonder if the present crop falls short of last
years at least a third.
The N. O. Crescent says, on Red river most of planters
have planted three times in consequence of the cold, long coli
mned rains. The plant is six weeks behind time.
The Grenada (Miss.) Republican, of the 18th, says, we have
recently passed over a portion of this and Tallahatchie coun
ties, and we do not recollect ever to have seen as poor a pros
pect for making crops of corn or cotton, as at the present time.
A letter from Sumterville to the editors of the Charleston
Courier, says: ‘1 have to day been taking a jaunt in the coun
try, and in my travels passed some twelve or fifteen plantations
several of them the largest in the district—and can but express
my astonishment at the exceeding backwardness of the cotton
crop. None of the plants were over two inches in height. I
have often seen the crops as far advanced the first day of April.
The Crops. —The Caddo (La.) Gazette of the 22J ult. says:
We have been informed by an intelligent and extensive plan
ter of this parish, that more than a half crop of cotton cannot
possibly be made the present year; granting the season from
this time, is most favorable to the growth of the plant. The
usual rains and weather, which have visited us so frequently
during the spring, liave precluded the possibility of even a
tolerable “stand.”
The weather, too, has injured the corn crops, even more
than the cotton, and it may, and in fact must, be the ease,
that our farmers will meet with the double disaster, of a short
cottou aud corn crop, and hard times.
Farmer Blake’s first Lesson,
When I first went to live up at the Grange, Farmea Blake
took me into tho fields to talk to me. I was young then, but
quite old enough to understand what he said.
“My lad,” said the farmer, “if you are to learn farming,
and we are to go on tidily together, either I must teach you or
you must teach me. Now, as I happen to know more than
you, it will be but reasonable that I should take the lead, and it
will be time enough when you are the wiser of the two to al
ter the plan.”
Farmer Blake said this in a kind tone of voice, but the firm
ness with which he spoke, convinced me at onee that his word
was to be a law.
“You have picked up a little knowledge at the school
house,” said he, “and now you must try to pick up a little at
the Grange Farm. The first lesson that I shall give you to
learn, is this— a little at a time, and go on. Almost all great
things are done on this principle. The rain from the skies
comes down in little flakes; and yet both of them, by going
on, cover the face of the ground.”
“Look here,” said Farmer Blake, stopping at a bush, on
which a spider was weaving his web, ‘ see how the little crea
ture's employed. First he fastens one line, and then an
other, without wasting his time by idling between, and it will
not be very long, I am thinking, before lie catches his fly.—
The weaving spider is following the rule— a little at a time,
and go on”
What Farmer Blake said appeared so very clear to me,
that I wondered the same tiling had not occurred before.
But the farmer determined to impress his lesson im my mind.
On turning round a corner we came suddenly upon a wood
man, who was felling an elm tree, and the dry chips flew
around him as ho denied his lusty stroke with his axe. “Oh;”
thought I, “the farmer will be at me again now, about his first
lesson ;” but no, not a word did he speak. I saw, however,
that his eye was now and then fixed upon me. Though the
woodman did not appear to get on very fast, yet by repeated
strokes lie make a great gash more than half through the
trunk of the tree; and, not long after, down came the* elm
with aloud crash.
Farmer Blake walked on in silence, and I was silent too;
when suddenly he said to me, “Well, my lad, what arc you
thinking of?” “I was thinking sir,” said I, “that the wood
man has brought down tho tree by doing a little at a time,
and going on.” “Just as I expected,” he replied ; and now
I see that you have learned my first lesson.”
When left to myself I thought over every word that Farm
er Blake had spoken, and felt sure not only that he was the
wisest man I knew, but also that I could not do a better thing
than attend to LLs remarks. In the course of that day I could
hardly look around without seeing some object which brought
before me Fanner Blake's first lesson. A bricklayer was
building a wall near a cottage; a shepherd with his crook,
was climbing a high hill; and two men were filling a cart with
gravel. By laying a brick at a time, and going on, the brick
layer would build the wall; by taking a step at a time, and go
ing on, the shepherd would get to the top of the hill.; and by
throwing in a spade full at a time, and going on, the cart
would be filled.
Many ha ve I known who were not satisfied with doing a lit
tle at a time; they must needs do a great deal, and haste to
be rich ; but they fell into snares, and their riches did them uo
good. And some have I known who were very zealous in ho
ly things, but tltey did not go on. Oh, it is an excellent thing
to feel that we are dependent upon our Heavenly Father for
all we have, even our daily bread. I feel myself much wiser
than I was before.
I lived many years at the Grange, and have great reason to be
tlumkful for the many useful lessons that the honest farmer
taught mo ; but not a single day of these years is better re
mombered by me than the first day that I entered on the farm,
and not a single lesson is more deeply impressed on my mind
than the very first that he taught me.
I know that Farmer Blrke, in teaching me his first lesson,
intended to apply it especially to farming; but I have learned
to apply it to other things. Thousands would have been ben
efits had they understood and practised the humility —a lit
tle at a time, and go on,
Pepper. —One of the most useful vegetables in
the hygiene, is red pepper. Especially in warm
countries lias it been considered invaluable as a stim
ulant and anxiliary in digestion. Among the Span
ish and French races it is used in the largest quanti
ties, and they invariably enjoy most excellent health, j
Ot late, particularly since the cholera visited our
state, our planters have begun to discover the vir
tues of this vegetable, and mingle large quantities
of it with the food of their negroes. Considerable
attention has been drawn to the selection and culti
vation of the best kinds of pepper. Among those
who have appreciated the importance of this vegeta
ble, is that admirable planter, and exceedingly prac
tical gentleman, Col. Maunsel White, the proprietor
of “J leer Range,” commonly known as the Model
Sugar Plantation. Col. White has introduced the
celebrated tobacco red pepper, the very strongest of
all peppers—of which lie has cultivated a large
quantity, with a view of supplying his neighbors
and diffusing it through the state. The tobacco
pepper yields a small red pod, less than an inch in
length, and longitudinal in shape. It is exceeding
ly hot, and but a small quantity of it is sufficient to
pepper a large dish of any food. Owing to its olea
ginous character. Col. White found it impossible to
preserve it by drying; but by pouring strong vine
gar on it after boiling, he has made a sauce or pep
per decoction of it, which possesses in a most con
centrated and intense form all the qualities of the
vegetable. A single drop of this sauce will flavor
a whole plate of soup or other food. The use of a
decoction like this, particularly in preparing the food
for laboring persons would be found exceedingly
beneficial in a relaxing climate like this. Col. White
has not had a single case of cholera among his large
gang of negroes since that disease appeared in the
south, lie attributes this to the free use of this
valuable agent. — jV. 0. Delta.
Heaves in Houses.— John Davis, in the Boston
Cultivator, gives the following recipe for the cure of
this disease:
Take a tub, put three pails of water, and fresh
lime the size of an egg; add molasses to give a
more palatable taste, and place it in the stall, so
that the horse can have free access to it. After he
becomes accustomed to this drink, add half as much
more lime and renew, so as to keep it of the same
strength.
The horse may be worked as usual, only allow no
other drink. After lie drinks freely, bleed by taking
two quarts from the breast; in two or three weeks
take two quarts more. Jf tho above is carried out,
my word for it your horse will have relief.
Crr Y\ orms. —Charles Cist, Esq., of the Cincin
nati Advertiser, says: —“I have a hint to give my
fanning friends how to protect young tomatoes,
cabbage, and other plants from cut worms.
“ Full a few tops of clover, which put along side
each plant you wish to save, covering the clover tops
with a chip. The cut worm prefers the clover to
any thing else, and every day or two you can ex
amine below the chips, and hand the cut worm over
to the lien and her chickens.
“This is less labor than to replant.”
Disease ix Swixe. — A breeding sow was turned
off to fatten. A few days after, she was noticed to
stand with her head down, and to he breathing with
great distress, but yet without any perceptible sound.
r l his continued for a day or two, when, supposing
she was laboring under an attack of inflamation of
the lungs, I cut off her tail, from which she bled free
ly. 1 his was followed by immediate relief, and in
a day or two she was quite well. F.
Spirits from Turnips. —A correspondent in
forms the Elgin Courant that he has produced a
spirit from turnips, which closely resembles whiskey,
but has the flavor of turnips. It is very pure, strong
and highly inflammable; and if the turnip flavor
could be removed, might come extensively into favor.
Medical use Os Salt.— ln many cases of disor
dered stomachs, a tcaspoonful of salt taken three
times a day is a certain cure. In the violent inter
nal aching, (termed cholic) add a handful of salt to a
pint of cold water, drink it and go to bed; it is one
of the speediest remedies known. The same must
be done on the first symptoms of plague, and will
revive a person who seems dead with a heavy fall,
Ac. In an apoplectic fit no time should be lost in
pouring salt and water down the throat, if sufficient
sensibility remain to allow swallowing : if not, the
head must be sponged with cold water until the
senses return, when salt and water will completely
restore the patient from the lethargy. In the fit,
the feet should be placed in warm water with mus
tard added, and the legs briskly rubbed, all banda
ges removed from the neck, Ac. and a cool apart
ment procured it possible. In many cases of severe
bleeding at the lungs, when other remedies fail, Dr.
Rush found two teaspooufuls of salt completely stay
ed the flow of blood. In case of a bite from a mad
dog, wash the part with strong brine for an hour,
then bind on some salt with a rag. ’this prevents
ill consequences, and cures. In toothaches, warm
salt and water held to the part and renewed two or
three times, will relieve in most cases. In scorbutic
habits, use salt plentifully, and a vegetable diet; if
the gums be affected, wash the mouth with brine; if
the teeth be covered with tartar, wash them twice a
day with salt and water. In swelled neck, wash
the part with brine, and drink it also, twice a day
until cured. Salt will expel worms, if used in the
food in a moderate degree, and aids digestion, hut
salt meat is injurious if much used.
mm iLi'im—wap—
Medical Discovery,— lt has been ascertained
that the true source of scorbutic disease, as it shows
itself in our ships and prisons, is the want of potash
in the blood; that salted meats contain little more
than half the potash in fresh meats; and that while
an ounce of rice contains only five grains of potash,
an ounce of potato contains 1,87.5 grains, which ac
counts for the great increase of the disease since the
scarcity of the potato. In patients under this dis
ease, the blood is found to be deficient in potash; and
it has been ascertained by repeated experiments,
that whatever be the diet, such patients speedily
r< cover if a few grains (from twelve to twenty) of
some salt of potash be given daily. Lime juice is
regularly ordered in the navy, as a specific for the
disease, and the reason of its efficacy is not the acid,
but the amount of potash, being 816 grains in an
ounce. On these facts, it seems possible to found a
slight, but very salutary improvement in the navy.
Let a portion of tartrate of potash be ordered regu
larly to be mixed with the lime juice that is given
out for use; and let arrangements be adopted for
boiling the salt meat in steam. A large portion of
the salt would thus be eliminated, and the food
made more wholesome. A similar course might be
adopted in work-houses and prisons. If so simple
a remedy is in our hands, it is criminal to neglect it.
A work of Art. —The N. Y. Post says, there
is now in the Custom-House a copy of the statue,
which an eminent French artist, Gayard, is about to
send to M. \ attemare, for presentation to Congress.
It is designed to embody the artist’s idea of tho A
merican Republic, and represents a young female, of
graceful figure and majestic countenance,seated upon
a bail of cotton, whose head is surrounded by a halo
of thirteen stars, aud who holds in her hand the
banner of the nation, surmounted by the Phrygian
cap. Her left hand rests on a helm, significant alike
of sovereign ty and maratime power. At her feet is the
American Eagle, and distributed about the ground
arc the emblems, of various kinds, such as bows and
?iS iisilil CISIISH.
arrows, the cornucopia, the plough, sheaf of Indian
com, Ac. Ac. This model is about two feet in height,
rests upon a pedestal conceived in good taste, the
sides of which will be ornamented with bas relief re
presentations of prominent exents in the history of
the United States, such as the Declaration of Inde
pendence, the Treaty of Peace of 1784, the Surren
der ot Cornwallis, Ac. The whole reflects great
credit upon the skill and ingenuity of the artist, and
when finished in bronze, as it is intended to be, the
figure, some twenty feet in height, will form a most
imposing object. The model is sent over in advance,
to get the criticism of competent persons before the
larger statue is finished.
The Upper Regions of the Atmosphere,
Mr. J. Wise, tlie aeronaut, has recently published a work
entitled “History and Practice of Aeronautics,” from which
the Philadelphia Inquirer derives the following interesting
facts: <
“In one place he makes us acquainted with the still quiet
of the heavens, thus: —A bee was let off at 8,000 feet,
which flew away, making a humming noise. At the altitude
of 11,000 feet a large linnet was liberated, which flew away
‘directly, but soon feeling itself abandoned in the midst of an un
known ocean, it returned and settled on the stays of the bal
loon, then mustering fresh courage, it took a second flight and
dashed down to the earth, describing a tortuous yet perpen
dicular track. A pigeon let off under similar circumstances
afforded a more curious spectacle. Placed on the car, it rest
ed awhile, measuring as it were the breadth of that unexplor
ed sea, which it designed to traverse; now launching into
abyss, is fluttering irregularly, and seemed at first to try its
wings on the thin element, and after a few strokes it gained
more confidence, and whirling in large circles or spirals like
the bird of prey, it precipitated itself into the mass of extend
ed clouds, where it was lost from sight. In one of his ascents,
lie held a distinct conversation in the clouds with Mr. Paulin,
who ascended v. ttli another balloon about the same time.”
To preserve Hams through the Summer.
A writer in the Genesee “Farmer” gives the following as
his method of preserving hams. It is an easy experiment, and
deserves a trial by those engaged in curing pork.
“Make a number of common cotton hags, a little larger
than your hams ; after the hams arc well smoked, place them
in the bags ; then get the very best kind of sweet, well made
hay, cut it with a cutting-box or knife, and with your hands
press it well around tlic hams in the bags ; tie your bags with
good strings, put on a card the year to show their age, and
hang them up in jour garret or some <1 ry room ; and mj
word for it, if j'ou let them hang for five j ears, they will be
better for boiling than on the day you put them up. I have
kept them seven years, and have some now that are four years
old. This method costs but lit.le, as the bags will last for
years. The only loss is the hay, and that the cattle will eat
if given to them in the winter. No flies or hugs will trouble
the hams if the hay is well pressed around them, the sweat
ing of the hams will be taken up by the hay, and the hay will
impart a fine flavor to the hams.’’
Rail Road Brake.—AY e saw a day or two since
anew invention, called Treadwell’s Horizontal Rail
Road Brake, the machinery of which is very simple
in its construction. In the brake now in use, the
friction is entirely upon the wheels, and has the ef
fect of cutting them whenever applied. The new
brake is applied to the track, and is destined to be
very effective in its operation. It stops ihe cars
without producing any jar or unpleasant motion. It
is also so managed that the engineer can have the
control of tho whole train. It saves a great deal in
the wear of the wheels, which is said to bo about
one-third the expense of keeping the cars in order.
The superintendant of the Boston andgl’rovidence
Rail Road, has ordered this brake to bo applied to
the passenger cars. Mr. Everett Traadwell, the in
ventor, is a resident of this city. He has obtained
a patent for this country and has now applied for
one in England.— N. V. Courier.
Great Improvement in Daguerreotype.
Air. ('has. J. Anthony, of Fittsburg, lias invented
one of the grandest improvements ever made in
the art of Daguerrcotypiug; in fact we believe it se
cond only to the discovery of Daguerre himself.—
The improvement consists in what is termed the
‘Magic Back Ground,’ which is given by a chemical
process, and consists in overcoming one of the
greatest difficulties that artists have to contend a
gainst. Mr. Anthony, by bis process, can give the
picture any kind of back ground he pleases—light
or dark and imitation of* sky, or draperied canopy.
One sample which we saw, had a back ground in
imitation of pearl, with the picture standing out in
full relief. The back ground can be given either be
fore, during, or after the impression is taken. The
process is simple and the expense trifling.
Mr. Anthony has applied for a patent, and has as
signed his interest of it to Air. Levi Ceapman, of this
city, who w ill no doubt make a grand affair of such
a deserving and meritorious discovery. — Sci. Artier.
American Inventive Genius. —The improve
ments in the maufacture of percussion caps by ma
chinery have been rapid and wonderful. A Wash
ington letter in the N. V. Tribune, speaking of them
says :
“Formerly we imported percusssion caps entirely
from Europe—they wore made by hand labor. —
Bouton invented a machine, and the House Com
mittee on Military Affairs report that it forms tho
most perfect cap ever made for small fire-arms in use
in our army. Fisher an ingenious mechanic now
dead, invented an apparatus for charging Bouton’s
cap with tho fulminate. Wright next set his wits
to work, and combined Fisher and Bouton’s machine
into one, which cuts the star from the copper, forms
the cap, charges it with the fulminate, presses and
delivers it, ready to be varnished. Percussion caps
are now made hereof best quality, for army use,
at 80 cents per 1,00 —the material costs nearly
9-lOths of that price—labor-saving machinery don’t
well get beyond that.”
(TV iHlllOTluTJllT.
Plum Cakes.— A correspondent has sent the fol
lowing :—Beat six ounces of butter to a cream, and
add six ounces of sugar powdered; beat them to
gether ; then add three eggs (previously beaten) ami
six ounces of currants, and one pound of dried flour;
beat all for ten minutes and drop the batter, about
the size of walnut, on floured tin plates. Bake ten
minutes, in a brick oven ; they will keep good for
months and are exceedingly nice.—M. I).
[Betty says, that one pound of flour would make
the mixture into paste of sufficient consistence to be
rolled out with a rolling-pin, or to be formed into
balls with the hands: and that the addition of a
little grated nutmeg, or a few drops of essence of
lemon, would be a great improvement to them. —
Halt a pound of flour would be better than a pound,
and the batter could then be dropped on the plates
with a spoon. If made with this quantity it would
make what confectioners call “Pound Drops.”
To Preserve Iron from Rust.— Melt fresh mut
ton suet, smear over the iron with it, while hot; then
dust it well with unslacked lime, pounded and tied
up in muslin. Irons so prepared will keep many
months. Lse no oil for them at any time, except
salad oil, there being water in all other.
Fire-irons should be wrapped in baize, and kept in
a dry place when not used.
Toby.— To make a good Wedding Cake use
equal parts of sugar, flour and currents, and two
thirds of that quantity each of butter aud candid
peel, with spices and brandy as required. Then to
ice it, beat the white of eggs to a full froth, with a
little rose or orange flower water; add gradually as
much finely pondered sugar as will make it thick
enough, beat it well all the time. Dust the cake
over with flower, then gently rub it off; lay on the
icing with a flat knife, and place it in the oven for a
few minutes to harden, but not long enough to dis
color it.
To Clean Crape.— On account of the peculiar
nature of the fabric, crape is very difficult to clean.
We know of no better method than to first sponge
it with water, and afterwards to brush it over with
clear, thin gum-water. Crape was invented at Bo
logna; it is made of raw silk gummed, and twisted
at the mill. Gum-water for this purpose should be
very weak, say half an ounce (or less) to a pint of
water; but much depends on the texture of the
crape and the qualities of the gum. Moisture is in
jurious to crape, and, by softening the gum destroys
its crispness.
Fixe Indian Cut* Cakes. —Stir to a light cream
a pound of fresh butter, cut it up into a pound of
powdered white sugar; add a heaped teaspoonful
of powdered nutmeg and cinnamon, mixed. Mix
together a pint of sifted Indian meal, and half a
pint of wheat flour. Beat six eggs very light and
stir them into the mixture of butter and sugar in
turn, with the meal. Butter some tea cups, fill
them with the mixture, and bake it well. When
done turn them out of the cups, and send them to
the table warm.
Draining Flower Tots.— Of all circumstances
connected with the culture of flowering plants in pots,
none is more important and less regarded than
draining; that is, putting a stratum of broken pots,
broken tiles or bricks, of a soft quality, in the bot
tom of the pots, underneath the soil and roots of
the plants; potsherds should be broken down till
the largest does not exceed the size of a small bean
—the powder occupying the topmost part. Asa
general rule, every pot should have near one-fourth
of its depth occupied by this material.
€*lje iuinmrifit.
“Let dimpled mirth his temples twine,
With tendrils of the laughing vine.”
Eating Icc-Crcam Raw,
Written for the Yankee Blade by Jonas Jones.
On a very warm and sultry evening during the
summer of’4B, as Doctor 15 and myself were
seated in a fashionable saloon of our town, indul
ging in the cool luxuries which the proprietors of
the establishment know so well how to prepare, and
chatting the while upon such subjects as fancy and
caprice suggested, —a tall, limber-looking individual
of about 23, made his appearance, and after looking
about him for some time in bewilderment and doubt,
seated himself at a table close by the one at which
we were sitting. The young man was apparently a
stranger, and from the country; and the illuminated
sign, with “Ice-cream,” “Confectionaries, ’’ Ac. Ac.
blazoned thereon, had evidently taken him in. —
Knowing the Doctor to have a great propensity for
practical joking, 1 turned to see what effect this new
arrival would have upon him; and one glance at his
restless, twinkling eye, satisfied me that there would
be sport: — the tiger teas alreadg in imagination
gloating over his prey.
After sitting some time as if uncertain bow to pro
ceed, the young man plucked up sufficient courage to
address us, and inquire whether he could “get some
ice-cream, and a couple of confectionaries;” —sta-
ting, at the same time, that he had “never been at
the canawl afore, and didn’t know bow people acted
at sich places.” lie was informed by the Doctor,
that if he would ring tho small bell which stood up
on the table, bis wishes would be gratified. The
green ’uu did as he was directed, and in due time,
was served with the ice-cream and “confectionaries.”
After eyeing for a few moments the articles before
him, lie took the spoon from the glass, took a small
quantity of the cream, and put it to the tip of his
tongue, and then looked about the room with an air
of great satisfaction and delight. Soon, however,
another idea seemed to strike him; he rammed the
spoon deep into the glass, took it out heaped full,
and in a moment, its contents had disappeared.
At this instant, 1 felt a twitch at my side, —the
next, the doctor was on his feet, —had clutched my
arm convulsively, and with one hand pointing to
ward the victim, almost screamed :
“My God, that youno man is eating iiis ice
cream raw !”
Down went ice-cream, spoon, confectionaries, and
table, upon the floor; out leaped the victim at least
ten feet toward the middle of the room, gasping for
breath—eyes protruding from their sockets—and
countenance exhibiting marks of the greatest terror
and helplessness. In a moment the 1 )octor was by
his side, —felt his pulse, —unbuttoned bis coat, waist
coat, and shirt-collar, as if to admit fresh air; then
gently pushed him into a -chair, and commenced
fanning him with the skirt of his coat. It was then
that the victim’s tongue first became loosed, and
with imploring look, he half whispered, half screech
ed, —“Oh, kin 1 live ?” Upon this, the Doctor look
ed mysterious, felt his pulse again, examined his
tongue, and then in a solemn tone, replied :
“It may be, young man, that by implicitly follow
ing my directions, you can yet escape the conse
quences of your rashness and folly. I would advise
you to” —
“Anything, I'll do anything you tell me, so as I
kin git over this spell, and find my way home again.”
“Well then, sir, take oft’ your coat.” The young
man did so —“tie a handkerchief about you,” lie was
obeyed. “And now, sir, go to the door, run three
times around this square, with all the might that is
in you; and then come back to me, and I will tell
you what further to do.”
Tho young man vanished, and we resumed our
seats; in a few minutes, however, he returned, puf
fing and blowing, and apparently in better spirits.
“Now,’’ said the doctor, “do you put on your
coat, button it up close to your chin; go to your
lodgingplacc, and turn into bed immediately; and
let me advise you, young man, that hereafter, before
you undertake to eat ice-cream, see that it is pro
perly prepared; and let me particularly charge you,
(and here lie assumed a very serious air,) never again
do you attempt to cat it raw.”
The young man stammered forth his thanks for
the advice, and then left —we following soon after.
Cousin Sally Billiard.
RY HAMILTON C’. JoNES.
Scene. —-1 Court of Justice in South Carolina.
A beardless disciple of the Themis rises, and thus
addresses the court: “May it please your worship,
since it has been riy fortune (good or bad, l will not
say) to exercise myself in legal acquisitions, it has
never befallen me to be obliged to prosecute so dire
ful, so marked and malicious an assault; a more wil
ful, violent and dangerous battery, and finally, a
more diabolic breach of the peace has seldom hap
pened in a civilized country, and I dare say it has
seldom been your duty to pass upon one so shocking
to benevolent feelings as this which took place over
at Capt. Rice’s in this county. But you will hear
from the witnesses.”
The witnesses being sworn, two or three were ex
amined and deposed —one said that ho heard the
noise and did not see the fight—another that he
see’d the row, but didn’t know who struck first—
and a third that he was very drunk and couldn’t
say much about the skirmish.
Lawyer Chops. —I am very sorry, gentlemen, to
have wasted y<fcir time with the stupidity of the
witnesses examined. It arises, gentlemen, altogeth
er from misapprehension on my part. Had I known,
as I now do, that I had a witness in attendance,
who was well acquainted with the circumstances ot
the case, and who was able to make himself clearly
understood by the court and jury, I would not so
long have trespassed on your time and patience.—
Come forward, Mr. Harris, and be sworn.
So forward coines the witness, a fat, shuffy, old
man, a leetle corned, and took his oath with an air.
Chops.—Harris, we wish you to tell us all about
the riot that happened the other day at Capt. Rice’s
and as a good deal of time has already been wast
ed in circumlocution, we wish you to be compendi
ous, and at the same time as explicit as possible.
Harris. —Edzaekly—giving the lawyer a knowing
wink and at the same time clearing his throat —
Capt. Rice, be gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard,
she came over to our house, and axed me if my wife
she moutn’t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard that
my wife was poorly, seeing as how she had the
rheumatics in the hip and the big swamp was in the
road, and the big swamp was up for there had been
a heap of rain here lately, but howsomever as it
was she, Cousin Sally Dilliard, my wife she mout
go. Well, Cousin Sally Dilliard then axed if Mose
he moutn’t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard that
Mose was foreman of the crap, and the crap was
smartly in grass; but howsomever as it was she,
Cousin Sally Dilliard, Mose, he mout go —
Chops. —In the name of common sense, Mr. Har
ris, what do you mean by this rigamarole?
Witness.—Capt. Rice he gin a treat, and Cousin
Sally Dilliard she come over to our house and axed
me if my wife she moutn’t go, I told Cousin Sally
Dilliard—
Chops.—Stop, sir, if you please, we don't want to
know anything about your Cousin Sally Dilliard and
your wife —tell us about the tight at Rice's.
. \\ itness.—Well, I will sir, that is, if you w ill let
me.
Chops.—Well, sir, go on.
Well, Capt. Rice, he gin a treat, and Cousin £aK
ly Dilliard she come over to our house and axed me
if my wife she moutn’t go—
Chops.—There it is again, witness, please to stop.
M itness. —\\ ell, sir, what do you want ?
Chops.—We want to know about the tight, and
you must not proceed in this impertinent story. Do
you know anything about the matter before the
court ?
Witness.—To be sure I do.
Chops. —Well, you go on and tell it, and nothing
else.
Witness.—Well, Capt. Rice, he gin a treat—
Chops.—This is intolerable. May it please the
court. I move that this witness be committed for a
contempt; lie seems to be trifling with the court.
Court. —You are now* before a court of Justice;
unless you behave yourself in a more becoming man
ner, you will be sent to jail; so begin and tell what
you know about the fight at Captain Rice's.
Witness, (alarmed.) —Well, gentlemen, Capt.
Rice he gin a treat, and Cousiu Sally Dillard —
Chops.—l hope this witness may be ordered into
custody.
Court, (after deliberating.)—Mr. Attorney, the
court is of the opinion that we may save time by
letting the witness to go on his own way. Proceed
Mr. Harris, with your storv, but stick to the point.
Witness.—Yes, gentlemen; well, Capt. Rice, he
gin a treat, and Cousin Sally Dilliard come over to
our house, and axed me if my w ife she mout go. 1
told cousin Sally Dilliard that my w ife was poorly,
being as how she had the rheumatics in the hip, and I
the big swamp was up; but howsomever, as it was
she, Cousin Sally Dilliard, she must go. Well, !
Cousin Sally Dilliard then axed me if Mose, he
moutn’t go. I told Cousin Sally Dilliard as how
Mose he w ;is the foreman of the crap, and the crap
was smartly in the grass, but howsomever, as it was
she, Cousan Sally Dilliard, Mose he mout go. And
they went, and they come to the big swamp, and it
wasup as 1 was telling you; but being as how there
; was a log across the big swamp, Cousin Sally Dil
liard and Mose, like genteel folks, they walked the
log, but my wife, like a darn’d tool, h’isted her coats
and waded right through— and that's all 1 know
about the f<jht.
Clerical Wit. —The follow ing anecdote of Dish
op Mountain, the first Dishop of the English church
in Canada, and father of the present Lord Dishop,
of Moutreal, was related to us recently by a clergy- ;
man, who was well acquainted with the worthy
prelate, and who assures us of its perfect authenti
city. It is possible that it may have been in print
before, but we do not remember to Lave seen it, and
as it is certainly a very happy example of a neat re- I
partee turned to a prudent and profitable account, j
we venture to tell the story as it was told us. Short- j
ly after the diocese of Montreal was created, Mr. ;
Mountain, then a young man, was holding the of- ,
flee of private chaplain to the Archbishop of Can-i
ter bury. 11 is grace, whose duty it was to choose j
an incumbent of the new diocese, was endeavoring :
to select the most suitable person for the office, but ;
being at a loss to make an election from a large j
number of worthy aspirants, at length applied to j
his chaplain for counsel. “Indeed,” replied the ,
young clergyman, “1 can hardly presume to advise j
your grace in so weighty a matter; but as 1 have a :
high opinion of your grace's faith , I do not doubt
that if you should say to this Mountain be thou re
moved into yonder /Sea, it would obey you !’’ The
archbishop was pleased with the wit of his adviser,
and as the applicant was in all respects a tit person
to receive the mitre, lie was forthwith appointed.—
Post.
“Dr. G. w as, while a pastor in Philadelphia, more
than fifty years since, an eminent preacher of right
eousness; and was honored with many seals of his
ministry. But his earlier sermons are described as
having been too highly wrought, and as marked by
great rhetorical finish. This gave him popularity
with a multitude, but it failed of commending him
to all his flock. One day, returning from the ser
vice of the sanctuary, he was accosted by a poor
woman, a member of his church, who fearing that
his language was not always adapted to the capaci
ties of a portion of his hearers, took the liberty of
giving her youthful pastor a hint.
“Mr. (freon,'’ said she, what do you think is the
great business of the shepherd £”
“No doubt to feed the flock, madam,” was liis re-
PL''*
“That is my notion, too,” she added, “and there
fore I think he should not hold the hay so high that
the sheep cannot reach it.’’
The monition, says the biographer of the preacher,
was received in the spirit with which it was given,
and probably had its influence in causing him after
wards to ‘hold the hay lower.’ ”
A Hackensack Breakdown.
The Memphis Express is guilty of the follow ing
paragraph:
A friend of ours went over into Arkansas a few
weeks ago to attend a “breakdown” —that is a da”ce.
The ladies upon the occasion, were arrayed in their
best; with all the gay colors which an uncultivated
taste could suggest. The gentlemen were dressed
in homespun clothes, and none but our friend had
broadcloth on his back. During the evening, sweet
potatoes of an enormous size, roasted in the ashes,
were handed round to the company, together with
a handful of salt for each guest. A beautiful young
lady soon became smitten w ith our friend, (perhaps
with bis moustaches,) resolved to dance with him.
She thereupon turned to a friend and addressed
her in these words : “Sail, hold my tater, while I
trot round with that nice hoss whats got on store
clothes.” Our young friend was clinched accord
ingly —he could not extricate himself from the grip
of the rustic beauty, and he w*as obliged to “trot
round” after her for one mortal long hour before he
could obtain a respite from his labors. He made
his escape the first opportunity, resolved that he
never again would go to an Arkansas breakdown.
“We travel and eipatiate.au the bee
From flower to flower, so we froprland to land,
The mailers, customs, policy of all
Fay contribution to the store we glean—
We suck intelligence in every clime.
And spread the honey of our deep research,
At our return, a rich repast for you.*
{ Here is rather a neat epigram on a pale limed wife—r
Read it, all who are toper-ously inclined
T\ hy is it that on Emma's cheek
The lily blooms and not the rose ?
Because the rose lias gone to seek
A place upon her liasbands’s nose.
Lola Montes bathes in Lavender water and dries herself
with rose leaves. No wonder she leads Iter dupes bv ths
nose !
If there be a man in tlie world who deserves compassion it*
is the poor devil who is constantly haunted with suspicion
We should educate the whole man—the body, the head f
and the heart; the hotly to act, the head to dunk, and tlw
heart to feel.
Early education goes a great way towards making a many
but cruel experience hardens his nature, and blunts him ur
every finer feeling of humanity.
Jfcter condemn your neighbor unheard, however many
| the accusations which may be preferred against him • every
story has two ways of being told.
it is estimated the quantity of paint used daily hy the la
dies of Boston, would, if rightly applied, be sufficient to
paint a middling sized cottage.
When you see something mysterious in four neighbor’s
conduct, you have no occasion to get astraddle of his fence to
watch tlie movements in his yard, and thus solve the mystery.
J udge Thomas, of Worcester, Mass., being unable to at
tend the citizens’ celebration at Fitehberg, as an invited
i guest, sent the following toast:
The o.NLjpro likable form OF Slaveky —That where one
woman holds captive one man—in which the victim not only
hugs his chain, but the little tyrant that rivets it.
They have a man in Mississippi so lean that he makes no
shadow at all. A rattlesnake struck at his leg six times in
vain and retired in disgust, lie makes all hungry who look
at him; and when children meet him in tlie street, they run
home crying for bread.
M ine drinking nml cigar smoking are had habit 3 . They
| impair the mind and pocket, and lead to waste of time.
I Cranberries hide themselves beneath the moss, he who
j would find them must look for their modest worth.
Don t get excited at trifles, ami imagine you are likelv to
’ die because you are attacked with the measles.
; Die difference between war and peace lias been well de
fined by one of the ancients:—“ln time of peace the sons bury
their fathers; i:i time of war the fathers bury their sons.”
Dick rays about the prettiest thing to behold is an accom
plished woman, after she has upset and broken her lamp,
gathering up the fragments and wiping up the oil.
Each of us bears within himself a world unknown to his
fellow beings, and each may relate of himself a history re
sembling that of every one, yet like that of no man.
It is well to remember sometimes tint six feet of earth
make all men of a size.
“ ou have a pupil under the lasli,” as the man said when
he looked into the ]H>dagogue*s eve.
A small quantity of bark will make a rope, but it requires
a large pile of wood to make a eord.
A habitation giddy and unsure hath lie that buildeth on
the vulgar heart.
Annual flowering plants resemble whales, as they oome
up to blow.
Opinion’s hut a fool, that makes us scan the outward halst
by the inward man.
Geologically speaking, the took upon which the hard
drinker splits, is quartz , says Ilood.
As sore |daces meet most rubs, proud folks meet most
affronts.
Y\ hy is an editor like Sterne’s starling ? Because ho is
confiued to a pea, and “can’t get out.”
“I wouldn’t like to be in your shoes, I'd be handed if I
would, as the culprit said to the conlemtied convict.
A year of pleasure passes like a floating breeze ; hot a
moment of misfortune seems an age of pain.
In nature there s no Idem ih hut the mind : none can bo
called deformed hut the unkind.
M oman is the salt of the earth. If you doubt it think of
“Lot’s wife.”
To cure deafness, tell a man you want to pay a debt you
have long owed him.
►some of our modern politicians are like vicious horses, they
are apt to kick in thy traces.
Vv omeu are as roses ; whose fair flower, being once dis
played, doth tail that very hour.
He must have along spoon that must eat with the d>‘vil.
An author is as much honored in his enemies as his friends.
M e have no objection to newspaper borrowing, provided
every man only takes one to lend.
lie who tlie sword of heaven would bear, should boas
holy as severe.
The centre of gravity is thought by a modern philosopher
to be the middle of a Quaker congregation.
Castles in the air, a eotempory says, have for their timber
moo n-heams.
An Irishman who lived in an attic, being asked what part
of the house he occupied, answered, “If the house were
turned topsy-turvey, I'd be livin’ on the first flare.”
A sign in New York, according to the papers, reads;
il Dough- mesiie bread ”
We learn from the Buffalo Express that baldness isowing
to the desquamation of the epidermis ! A fact as clear as mud.
“This is a grate country,” as the prisoner said, looking
out of an iron-barred window in the penitentiary.
In popping the question, young men should be careful to con
vince the fair maid tluit they are not in fun. Girls do not
like sueh fun.
lie must observe their mood on whom he jests, the quality
of person, and the time.
Grain and seeds are not considered dangerous except when
about to shoot.
“ Young ladies are inseperable friends when they have a
lover apiece.” Oh, fie!
A lie has no legs, but scandal has wings.
A man loves the meal, in his youth, that he cannot endure
in'his age.
Our bodies are our gardens, to which our wills are gar
deners.
“Esteem is the mother of love, but the mother is often
younger than the daughter.”
God governs the world, an I we have only to do our duty
wisely, and leave the issue to him.
Be at peace with all mankind, but at war with all their
vices.
O, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal
away their brains.
How much more pleasant it is to pay our addresses than
our debts!
Never despise trifles. The want of a pin h sometime*
caused agonies of shame.
Naught's had, all’s spent, where our desire is got without
content.
No visor does become black villainy so well as soft and
tender flatten*.
It is excellent to have a giant's strength, bat it is tyrafl*
nous to use it like a giant.
A clear conscience is the best law, and temperance th
best physic.
The brain may devise many laws for the blood; but a hot
temper leaps o’er a cold decree.
Rich honesty dwells, like a miser, in a poor house, as your
pearl in your foul oyster.
Foul deeds will rise, though all earth overwhelm them to
men’s eyes. Life in Neus York.
