Newspaper Page Text
uw to am buavtievl.
Large feet should never be cased in
kid, least of all in white kid slippers,
for kid reveals so dearly the form and
movements of the feet, and stretohws so
easily, that few feet have adjunct; in them.
Those who are vary stout should wear
nothing but black ; those who are very
thin should put a little padding in their
gowns, and neither should be in the
least decollette.—Courier-Journal.
A warn desired her husband to buy
horn new spring bonnet. “Why, isy
dear," said he, “ how can I do it when I
liave no money ?” And she simply ex
claimed, “ Owo. dear 1”
-4 HPIVEIi NTOKT.
One chilly day I was loft at home
alone; and, after I was tired reading
“ Robinson Orrmoe," I caught a spider
and brought him into tho house to play
with. Funny playmate, wasn’t it ?
Well, I took a wash-basin and fastened
up a stick like a vessel’s most, and then
poured in just water enough to turn the
mast into an island for my spider, which
1 named Crusoe, and pnt him on tho
mast. As soon as he was fairly cast
away he anxiously commenced running
round to find the mainland. He’d scam
per down the mast to the water, stick
out a foot, get it wet, shake it, run around
the stick and try tho other side, and then
ruu buck to the top again. Pretty soon
it became a serious matter to Mi'. Kob
iusou, and ha sat down to think over it.
As in a moment ho acted os if he wanted
to shout for a boat, and was afraid ho was
going to be hungry, I put treacle ou the
stick. A fly came, but Crusoe wasn’t
hungry for flits just then. Ho was home
sick for his web in the comer of the
woodshed. He went slowly down tho
pole to tlio water, and touched it all
round, shaking his feet like pussy when
she wots her stockings in tho grass, and
suddenly a thought appeared to strike
him. Up he went like a rocket to the
top, and commenced playing circus. He
held one foot in the air, then another,
and turned around two or three times.
He got excited, and nearly stood ou his
head before I found out what he knew,
mid that was this, that the draught of
air made by the five would carry a line
nshore on which he could escape from
his desert island. He pushed out a web
that went floating in tho air until it
caught ou the table. Then lie hauled
ou tile rope until it was tight, struck it
several times to see if it was strong
enough to hold him, and walked ashore.
I thought he had earned his liberty, so
I put him back in the woodshed.—
Hearth.
AIiOVT PRIXTIXO IXKS,
The ingredients of ordinary printing
ink are burnt linseed oil, resin and oc
casionally soap, with various coloring
matters. The best quality of linseed
oil is used in superior inks, and this is
purified by digesting it in partially dilu
ted sulphuric acid for some hours, at a
temperature of about 212 degrees, al
lowing the impurities to subside, and
then washing away the acid with repeat
ed additions cf hot water. The water,
after this treatment, is pale and turbid,
and if the freeing from the acid is com
plete there is scarcely nny odor. By
rest the oil clarifies, and has then a pale
lemon-color. It now dries rnuoh more
rapidly than before. The purilied oil is
now partially resinified by heat. For
this purpose it is introduced into
large cast-iron pots and boiled until in
flammable vapors are freely evolved.
These ore ignited, and allowed to burn
for a few minutes, after which they are
extinguished by placing a tight cover
over tho boiler. Ebullition of the oil is
continued until, on cooling, a firm skin
forms on its surface, known by placing
a drop on slate, or ofber smooth, cold
surface.
Red printing ink, according to The
Engineer, may be made in this way :
Boil linseed oil until smoke is given off.
Set the oil then on tire and allow it to
bum* until it can be drawn out into
strings half an inch long. Add one
pound of i esin for each quart of oil, and
ne-halr pound of dry, brown soap cut
into slices. The soup must be put in
cautiously, as the water in the soap
causes a violent commotion. Lastly,
the oil is ground with a sufficient pig
ment on a stone by means of a duller.
Vermillion, red lend, carmine, Indian
red, Venetian red and the lakes are all
suitable for printing inks.
DBTKCTIKO WATER IX MILK.
A German chemist furnishes a simple
procedure for testing the amount of wa
ter in milk, whioh can Ire applied by any
one. .All that is required is a small
qnantity of plaster of Paris, say one
ounce. This is mixed with the milk to
a stiff paste and then allowed to stand.
With milk of 1.030 specific gravity, and
a temperature 00 deg. Fair., it will
harden in ten hours ; if 25 per cent, of
water is present, in two hours ; ft 50
per cent., in ono and a half hours ; and
with 75 per cent., in thirty minutes.
Skimmed milk which has been standing
for twenty-four hours, and is oE 1.033
specific gravity, sets in four hours; with
60 pers>ent. bf water, in one horn-; and
with 75 .per cent., in thirty minutes.
Heat should not bo applied, for then tho
use of the thermometer would be re
quired. The test is certainly simple,
and not costly.
" I’m afraid that bed is not long
enough for you,” said a landlord to a
seven-foot guest, “Never mind,” he
replied, “I’ll add two more feet to it
when I get in.”--
O.s Sabbath evening, her aunt told
Mary the story of the Good Samaritan,
and Mary was greatly interested in it.
Not long after she found a picture of
it, which she.recognized at once from
the story, “"Ob, auntie,” she cried,
“there is ft picture of the Good Jtovift-
WWwM"
W!LLW. SINGLETON, Editor & Proprietor.
VOL. VI.
rent** tbahmm.
AWT *l* LTTI/B.
1 tm dyeing, Egypt, dyeing—
Once my heir was ravt n-bl.ick
D*vk na tho shadows falling
On tho mwHet’M fading track
Durk as the dusty glamour
Of the palm-grovoH’ twilight shads;
Dark as tho fragrant trusses
Of an Abyssinian maid.
I am dyeing, Egypt, dyeing—
Ebbs the golden fluid fust;
I’ve only got one bottle left—
Ab, how long will that one last 7
My soul is ftffl of oubthf£
As4lsmile a sickly smile;
But mybalr la like the glory
Of tho noon sun oil tho Nile.
Ml KCWS SEHE XAMJSIIS.
In a certain rural town down East,
where tile narrator formerly iesidel,
'there was at one time a clique of rougli
young fellows who made it their busi
ness to serenade "all newly-bedded
couples.
“Serenading’.’ was wliat they wete
pleased to call it; but it was far from
being either a musical or a complimeut
ary performance. In fact, it was a ter
rible bug-boar for all prospective brides
aril bridegrooms. Ou the evening of
the marriage, this serenade party, num
bering fifteen or twenty members, was
sure to make its unwelcome appearance
in the yard, liberally provided with fish
horns, old tin pans, guns, and almost
every other possible instrument of din
and racket.
These rude fellows came disguised in
-masks >nd old' clothes ; and the
Tniit of their approach was “usually a
discharge of guns, a racket of stones on
the roof, blended with a horrible blare
of boms and imitations of Indian war
whoops.
If the newly-made husband did not
wish that sort of music continued all
night, he must arise, open Ills doors, and
invito in these unwelcome guests.
Once in the house, they would mako
themselves very much at home, and ex
pected to be “ treated ” to a good sup
per, or else to be furnished with a hand
some sxim of money with which to go
away and provide a supper for them
selves.
Tins was not tb 0 worst. For the boors
usually demanded that the bride should
be brought into the room, and often in
sisted—disguised and masked as they
were—on saluting her with a kiss.
If admittance was refused them, they
kept up tlieir terrific din, hour after
hour, and sometimes they had broken
into lipuse.s. Often they got on the roof
to continue their deafening fonfarode ;
indeed, there was no end of their pranks;
and if not treated with so much liber
ality as they thought due them, they
would come again night after night.
Occasionally they met with a rough
reception in the shape of hot water, jets
of kerosene oil from squirt-guns, and
shots had even been fired at them.
That they were an abominable uuis
anco and outrage on all rights and de
cency, was admitted by every one ; yet
it was difficult to proceed against them
legally, and the party was powerful
enough to make itself feared as well *s
hated. Otherwise it would have
been promptly broken up by an indig
nant community.
I have tried to learn tire origin of such
serenading, and I think the custom
came to us from among the French
Canadians of the Lower provinces. For
these people have a trick whioh thoy
call “ charivari," where a party, fantas
tically dressed and equipped, with
cracked fiddles, horns and kettle-drums,
sometimes go to “wake” a wedding
whenthoro is sbino circumstance about
it “which offends publioitaate ; as, forex
ample, when the bride is many years
older than the bridegroom, or if, on the
other, hand, an old gray-beard were to
take a very young wife.
Such were the serenade! s, and such
wo* the state of affairs, at the time of
tho marriage of a young man namod
Willis March, a friend and neighbor of
the writer.
Willis, or Wilts, as we called him,
was a quick-witted young man and pos
sessed a good deal of good sense and
sturdy independence. I have often
heard him say, whenever wo would hear
of a serenade, that he would never lot
that company into his house, nor give
them a cent to caroms on.
When Wilts came to bo 21, his parent?
wanted him to live on their farm and
take care of them- It was no very de
sirable offer. Tl;ero was a heavy mort-’
gage on the farm, and there were two
helpless, bed-ridden members of the
family. Willis, been planning
to go West as soon ns he became of age;
ttijd ho -was just tho’man to make Ids
way in the West and do well. But Re
conscientiously gave lip his plans for the
sake of the old people, and settled down
at home, like the good son he wu?, to
pay off the debts tm the place, and see
his folks through,” as the neighbors ex
pressed it.
The?e was another, too, concerned in
this sacrifice of Wil s’ plans—Amanda j
Bucheldar, a schoolmate and very dear
friend of Wilts’—am i who, it was said, I
was as like him as tw o people could be.
It had long been au Understood thing ,
j that, when Wilts treat Waste Wfoudy i
BUENA VISTA, MARION COUNTY, GA„ SATURDAY MARCH 5, 1881.
Boclieldar weald g# with him m Mrs.
Murcli.
There was a wedding that fall, on
Thanksgiving day morning—Wilts and
Mandy. Thoy moved home—that is to
say, to Wilts’ homo, that afternoon.
That day, at the store at the corners,
a follow named Gallison, supposed to be
oonnectod with the “serenade gang,"
hinted to Wilts that .he hoped he (Wilts)
was “ laying in a stock of good things”
for the “celebration” that night.
“What do you mean by ‘celebra
tion ?’ ” Wilts asked him.
“Oh, you’ll find out soon enough,"
said Gallison, laughing, snd with a wink
to the others.
“You mean the ‘serenade-gang?’”
said Wilts.
“Like enough,” replied Gallison.
“ Shouldn’t wonder a mite."
“ You expect mo to open my house
and furnish supper for the ‘roughs’ of
tho town? Then let mo toil you, once
for all, that I shall do nothing of tho
sort; and if you care to take my advice
you will keep away and mind your own
business and leave me to mind mine. I
have no money to spend in entertainments
of any kind.”
“Perhaps you mean to shoot us.”
sneered Gallison. “We’ve seen guns
before.”
“No matter what I intend to do,”
said Wilts. “ I warn you to keep
away.”
This warning on Wilts’ part only stim
ulated these unprincipled fellows to do
their worst. They turned out in full
costume, and at exactly 10 o’clock that
evening they opened the fracas with a
discharge of guns, tooting of lioms and
drumming, accompanied by a shower of
brick-bats on the roof.
We heard it all over the neighborhood,
and wondered, not without some misgiv
ings, what Wilts would do.
He did nothing. He had securely
fastened up the doors and windows be
low, and he remained quietly within.
Blow and whoop they did, but Wilts
gave no sign that he heard them.
About midnight, however, old Mr.
March, Willis’ father, nearly erkaod by
the noise, opened a window, and very
civilly asked tho party to go away and
let him get a little sleep. They an
swered this request with such a deafen
ing noise that the old gentleman was
glad to draw in his head and shut the
window.
They did not quite dare to break into
the house with axes ; they knew Wilts’
coinage too well. Daylight dispersed
them. But they promised loudly, ere
departing, to come back next night.
Dining the day, Wilts called on two
of his neighbors, young men like him
self, and asked them to come over to his
place that afternoon, and stay over night
in the house.
“Our ‘friends’ of last night’s hulla
baloo have promised to come back,”
said he, “ and you may see some fun if
things work right. ”
Just at dusk, two young fellows —
whose names need not be given—ac
cepted the invitation, and went to the
house.
the kitchen there was a large low
room, and the outside door opened into
it from off the piazza. Wilts had just
put two very strong staples and hasps on
this door for fastening it on the outside.
It was a very strong oak door. On the
outside, too, he had pnt up two strong
plank shutters on the kitchen windows.
Tho other doors, leading one into tho
wood-house and the other into the sit
ting-room, were ready for fastening on
the outside from the kitchen with bars
and hasps. In short, Wilts had made
of the kitchen a cage strong enough for
a prison- cell.
During tho evening, he set out on the
kitchen table a large basketful of good
eating apples and a jug of new cider,
with glasses. A candle was left burning
1 Ivere ; and in the largo Canadian stovo a
good lire of hard-wood logs was shut up,
burning sloyidy. To his two young
friends, who had been taken into tho
stratagem, Willis showed an auger-hole
bored in tb# ceiling, directly over the
stove.
The evening passed pleasantly. It wag
cloudy and pretty dark. Tho serenaders
gathered about the house very gate tty.
But promptly at 10 o’clock, fli# noise of
tho night before was repeated. Gun#,
hqrns, drqms, stones on the roof, and
heavy blows against the Me of the
hduse.
At length some of them who wore try
ing the lower windows discovered that
the kitchen door under the piazza was
nqt fastened. They threw it open and,
seeing the apples and cider, all walked
in and began to help themselves. Per
haps they fancied that these refresh
ments had been set out on purpose to
propitiate Alnup- . #*.*s 3 &
It Was # rather chilly evenififeout.
The Warm stovo vrtw%ary comfortable.
They shut ilio door and sat down.
Meant Lite, '"Wilts and ‘his two friehds
had riroen looking through th 9 auger*
hole; and one of them now slipped
down the back stairs int the wood-
Louse, and, going round on the piazza,
qniotly hasped th# kitchen door on the
ftttlito
Devoted to the Interests of Marion County and Adjoining Sections
They were not long drinking up tho
cider. Then they begun shouting for
Wilts and Mandy.
“Don’t think you’ll get off with a
mess of apple# and eider 1 You haven’t
seen the last of us so easy I Ten dollars
for drinks, Wilts ! Wo must have some
thing more out of you
“ Well," said Wilts, through the auger
bole, "you shall have tomelhingmorc!"
and with that ho blew a whole paper of
cayenne ‘hrougli a piece of lead
pipe down uipoi that hot stovo!
In an instant the whole kitchen was
full of the fiery, pungent dust 1
There came up an enraged shout, fol
lowed by a rush for the door. The in
truders found the door hard and fast.
It is quite useless to tryfully to depict
what followed. Tho invaders screeched,
pounded and sneezed. Some begged
and screamed ; some threw themselves
flat on the floor with their £** down,
to get air. They could neither see nor
breathe in that fiery atmosphere.
At last, one of the serenaders, by dint
of pounding with the butt of a gun,
fairly stove off one of the plank shutters
from the front window, and the whole
party tumbled out, nearly blinded, and
sneezing as if their heads would burst.
They wei'e so badly punished that they
hurried off at once, and we heard that
several of them were sick a week.
The story flew through the town, and
tno serenaders were joked and jeered at
by the people. They had to confess
thimselvea beaten. “ Huh-gish-oo,"
wall the joke whioh they heard on all
sides, That was the last charivari they
ever attempted Youth’s Companion.
MBS. PARTINGTOX.
“ O, what trials a poor widow has to
go through,” sighed Mrs. Partington,
rocking herself in a melancholy way,
and holding untasted the morsel of mne
caboy between her thumb and finger ;
“terrible trials, and O, what a hardship
to bo executioner to an intestine estate,
where enviable peot o are trying every
way to overcome She widow’s might;
where it’s probe it, probe it, probe it
all the time, and th 1 more you probe it
- ■fcilO WOrSO ite TllC JK rOit WOtXXixXA
never gets justice, fir if she gets all she
don’t get half enough. I have had one
trial of it, and if ;\:..-r I marry again, if
it should so ple<i*d| Providence to order
it, I’ll make my intended husband fabri
cate his will before he orders liis wed
ding cake—l’ll take time by the foretop,
as Solomon says.” She here revived a
little, and the subtle powder passed to
its destination and reported itself “home”
in au emphatic sneeze.
PEAKS OE TUI! HIMALAYAS.
Hermann von Schlagintmeit Sakaunl
aiski, the great Himalayan explorer,
gives a table of seventy-tlu'co peaks of
the Himalayan system that are more
than 20,000 feet high, seventeen of which
rise above 25,000 feet. Dhwalagiri,
which the old geographies gave as the
highest mountain on the earth, stands
the fifth in the list. Tho five highest
are: Guarisanker, or Mount Everest,
in Nepaul, 29,032 feet; Dapsaug, in
Western Tliibet, 25,278 feet; Kiutehin
junga, in Nepaul, 28,156 feet; the Sis
butt Peak, in Nepaul, 27,799 feet;
Dliwaligiri, iu Nepaul, 20,680 feet. Tho
snow-line varies from 15,800 feet to 18,-
665 feet, and phanerogamous plants are
seen up to 19,237 feet on the western side
of the Gaurikhorsuni. Man lives as
high as 14,800 feet, has a cloister at 15,-
117 feet, and looks for gold at 16,330
feet.
MYSTERIES OE A BEE-fll IE.
A life-time might be spent in investi
gating the mysteries hidden in a bee
hive, and still half the secrets would be
tuidisoovered. Tho formation of the
cell lias long beet) a celebrated problem
for the mathematician, while the
changes whioh the honey undergoes offer
at least an equal interest to the chemist.
Every one knows what honey fresh from
comb is like. It is a clear yellow simp,
without a traee of solid sugar in it.
Upon straining, however, it gradually
assumes a crystalline appearance—-it can
dies, as the saying is, and ultimately be
comes a solid lump of sugar. It has not
been suspected that this change was due
to a photographic action; that the same
agent which idlers the molecular arrange
ment of the iodine of silver on the excit
ed collodion plate, and determines the
formation of camphor and iodine crys
tals in a bottle, causes the sirup-honey
to assume a crystalline form. This,
however, is the case. M. Soheibler has
inclosed honey in stoppered flasks, some
of which he has kept in perfect darkness,
while other's have been exposed to the
light. Tho invariable results have been
that tho sunned portion rapidly crystal
lized, while that kept in the dark has
remained perfectly liquid. We now see
i wh* bees work in perfect darkness, and
Cvh|| they are so careful to obsoure the
glass windows which aro sometimes
placed in their hives. The existence of
their young depends on the liquidity of
saccharine food presented to them; and
if light wero allowed access to tho sirup
it would gradually acquire a more or
less solid consistency; it would seal up
the cells, and in >ll probability {novo
feW to to,* ia.'nftteftivf the
FKCVXIAHT IXDEPBXVEXCE.
There are 2,000,000 persons in Franoe
who five quietly nnd moderately upou
tlieir incomes from investments in real
estate or other property. In England
there are probably half as many, who
live in a simple and unostentatious man
ner under the samo circumstances. Tho
English Government funds, known as
“consols " in tno tcclinical terms of the
money market, pay S per cent, per an
num ; tho French “ rentes ” pay about
the samo rate of interest. The average
income from those sources to each owner
of these funds is not more than S3OO per
annum, and on this amount thousands
of persons live simple and contented
lives, enjoying in a modest and unas
suming manner the fruits of their care
fulness and economy.
A French “ rentior,” or an English
owner of “tho funds,” or a person who
may be possessed of real estate, occu
pied or rented, enjoys a certain socia l
distinction oh account of Iris “ independ
ence,” to which term there attaches a
distinct idea of certainty of income with
the assuranco of a competonoy and
freedom from the cares and incon
veniences of poverty or embarrassment.
8o long as these persons live with
in their incomes, they are privi
leged persons in an easy and well-de
fined position; persons of moderate
fortune who can afford to look upon
their front door as secure from the pos
sible presence of the typical “wolf,”
which is the dread of all those who live
by uncertain employments. But, with
out the strictest plainness and economy
of living, all these people would become
“of all men the most miserable.”
Their propertj', saved by years of in
dustry and economy, would soon disap
pear and leave them, in their old age, in
poverty and wretchedness. Few of
them, knowing their security and re
alizing their comfort, are tempted to
risk their income in the hope of increas
ing the rate of interest by riskful invest
ments or speculations.
How fortunate it must be for Ameri
cans if they would hut take a lesson
from such examples as these ! What
misfortunes, what losses, what disap
pointments and mlsene.sVouJd he ‘
avoided by a mor.Ycontonted disposition,
more devotion to’ simplicity of life and
economy of living ?—Rural New Yorker.
TIltdlXIA. AHEAD OX TOBACCO.
Virginia still retains the load as a to
bacco manufacturing State, the late cen
sus showing that for the fiscal year ended
June 30, 1880, Virginia manufactured
32,208,664 pouuds of tobacco, the tax on
which was $5,153,386. New Jersey
comes next with 16,554,688 pounds and
$2,648,750 tax, and New York following
with 13,530,814 pounds and $2,164,935
tax. The manufacturers of tobacco in
Virginia are more than those of the
great States of New York, New Jersey
and Pennsylvania put together : more
than thoso of Kentucky, Missouri,
Arkansas and Texas put together; more
than those of Indiana, Illinois, Ohio,
Michigan, Wisconsin, lowa, Kansas and
Nebraska put together, and more than
those of Maryland and North Carolina
put together—all tobacco States.
TIIE SALOOX HIOX.
A temperance lecturer in Great Brit
ain, formerly a cab driver, related'the
following incident:
“ A short time ago I was coming from
Aldridge, where I had been to buy a
horse for my cab. I saw a woman ly
ing dead drunk on the cellar flap of one
of the neighboring public houses; so I
went into the bar and said to the land
lord :
“‘One of your sign-boards has tum
bled down.’
“The gouty old publican came out
side, exclaiming, ‘Where?’
“ ‘ There,’ said I, pointing to a heap
of rags on the flap. ‘ Why don’t you
take it inside and put it into your win
dow, like other respectable tradesmen
do with their goods, and label it, “ Our
own manufacture, made to order,” in
stead of leaving it here as if you were
ashamed to own it?’ ”
now TO TRAIX THE MEMORY.
Your memory is bad, perhaps, but
there are two ways of curing the worst
memory. One of them is to read a sub
ject when interested; the other is to not
only read but think. When you have
read a paragraph or a page stop, close
tho book, and try to remember the ideas
on the page, and not only call them
vaguely to mind but put them in words
and speak them oat. Faiilifu-'y folloi/-
ing thoso two rules, and you have the
golden keys of knowledge. Beside in
attentive reading there are other tilings
injurious to tho memory. One is the
habit of skimming over newspapers,
items of news, smart remarks, items of
information, politioal reflections, fash
ion notes, so that all is a confused jum
ble, nev#r to be thought of again, thus
diligently cultivating a habit of careless
reading hard to break. Another is the
reading of trashy novels.
“Do xotf see that stick, sir?” said a
very stupid acquaintance to Sidney
Smith. “This stick lias been all round
the world, sir’” “Indeed 1” said the re
morseless Sidney, “Aad yet it is nofch
it)g but ft StteJb”
A if UNT OF SUBSCRIPTION, $1.25.
REA V DXa.ll MELL.
Many interesting stories about Brum
mell, the famous beau, ore told in an
article in All the Year Round : “We
are told ihat this eminent arbiter re
quired two different artists to make liis
gloves, one being appointed to provide
thumbs, the oher the Ungers and hand,
on the ground that a particular ‘out’ was
neoessary for each. The valet carrying
down the load of crushed handkerchiefs,
which the beau bad not succeeded in
squeezing with hia cliin down into the
proper folds, and which were carelessly
described as ‘our failures,’ is an old,
well-worn legend, but trustworthy.
“When he was consulted as to what
income was necessary to dress suitably
on, he replied ‘he believed that with
strict economy it might be done on £BOO
a year.’ It is said that he always went ,
home after the opera, to change his era
vat for the succeeding parties. Like '
Count d’Orsay, the later dandy, he car- i
ried about with him an enormous chest, j
containing every appliance for the toilet,
the dishes, bottles, etc., being of silver.
The use of these costly articles he justi
fied on the ground ‘ that it wan impossi
ble to spit in earthenware.’ Another of
his pleasant, insolent speeches was to a
friend inviting his criticism or admira
tion of his new coat. ‘My dear , do
you call that thing a coat ?’
“At Watier’s Club, instituted about
1807, where gaming prevailed to an ex
travagant degree, he reigned. He was
particularly noted for hia snuff-boxes—a
mania of the time—costly jeweled and
enameled and be-miniatured boxes being
displayed and given as presents. At i
this place he (Mr. Rikes says) was the
supremo dictator, the perpetual Presi
dent, laying down the law in dress, in
manners, and in those magnificent snuff
boxes for which there was a rage ; he
fomented the excesses, ridiculed the
scruples, patronized the novices, and ex
ercised paramount dominion over all.
He had great success at Macao, winning
in two or three years a large sum, which
went no one knew how. I remember
him coming in one night after the opera
to WatierV, and finding the Macao table
full, one pi ace .at which was occupied by
Tom Sheridan, who was not in the habit
of playing, but, having dined freely, had
dropped into the club, and was trying
to catch the smiles of fortune by risking
a few pounds which ho could ill afford to
lose. Brummell proposed to him to give
up his place and go shares in his deal;
and, adding to the £lO in counters
which Tom had before him £2OO for him
self, took the cards. He dealt with his
usual success, and in less than ten min
utes won £1,500. He then stopped,
made a fair division, and, giving £750
to Sheridan, said to him : * There, Tom,
go home and give your wife and brats a
suDuer. and never play auain.’ ”
JOKES ON COCEBURN.
Of Lord Chief Justice Cockburn it is
said that on one occasion, while still
without the bar, he had to examine a
witness named Phinn, and asked, “Well,
sir, how do they Bpell your name, with
an For a Ph ? ” “ Some spell it one
way and some another, I believe,” re
plied the man. “ Yes ; but I presume
there is a right way and a wrong way,
eh ? ” “ Oh, certainly,” assented the
. witness. “ Very good,” rejoined Cock
burn, now certain of his prey, “how
do you spell it yourself ?” “Oh, I
I- I—don’t spell it! I always make mV
mark !’’ He was once counsel for the
plaintiff; Mr. B. was for the defendant.
Cockburn called a witness and proceed
ed to examine him. “I understand,’
he said, “ that you called on the plaint
iff, Mr. Jones. Is that so?” “Yes,”
replied the man. “ What did he say ? ”
demanded Cockburn. Mr. B. promptly
rose and objected. The conversation
could not be admitted as evidence. But.
Oockibum persisted, and Mr. B. there
upon appealed to the Judges, who after
a time retired to consider tho point.
They were absent for nearly half an
honr, and when they returned they an
nounced that Mr. Cockburn might put
his question. “Well, what did he say ?’
asked the counsel. “ Please, sir, he
wasn’t at home ! ” replied the witness,
without moving a muscle.
They have an expeditious way of pay
ing off the employes of the Hudson River
railroad. The paymaster goes over the
road, paying out $150,000 in greenbacks
and gold. The train runs at its highest
speed, and the pay of the flagmen be
tween stations is put in envelopes, and,
attached to sticks, is thrown at the vari
ous flagmen as their shanties are
passed.
THE BANK OF ENGLAND.
The Bank of England was incorporat
ed in 1649. It ooverß five acres of
ground, and employs 900 clerks. There
are no windows on the street. Light is
admitted through open courts ; no mob
could take the bank, therefore, without
cannon to batter the immense wall. The
clook in the center of the bank has fifty
dials attached to it. Large cisterns axo
sunk in the court, and engines in per
fect order are always in readiness in
case of fire.
“ What is the difference between a
honeymoon and a honeycomb ?” Givu
it np? “ One is a biff tell and tho other
la a let (4 litfte "
GOOD ADVICE.
It is generally thought there is noth
ing easi< r than to give gc>od advice. It
is so abundant and so cheap, it is said,
because it cost* nothing. Now this may
bo applicable to much of tho trite coun
sel aud most of the well-worn maxims
that live upon the lips but do not oome
from the heart; it may be truo concern
ing such exhortations ns we have been
in the habit of hearing from one genera
tion and passing on to the next, without
much reference to their applicability ;
but it is uot true of anything which hon
estly bears the name of good advice.
That is not plentiful nor easy to give.
A FAMOUS PIGEON-BOOST.
In the southwestern part of Scott
county, Inii, is the famous “Pigeon-
Boost,” a doubly-historio spot—first, on
account of the butchery of the settlers
there, in the pioneer days, by the Indi
ans ; and, second, on account of its be
ing for eighty years the roosting place
of millions of wild pigeons. The mas
sacre of the settlers occurred in Sep
tember, 1812. One night a band of rov
ing Pottawatomies attacked the Pigeon
ltoost settlement, killing twenty-four
persons, mostly women and children
and burning all tho houses, A part of
the family of John Collins and a Mrs.
Beudio aud her two young children were
all of tho settlers that escaped.
The pigeon roost covers hundreds of
acres. The birds commence coming to
it early in the evening, and great droves
continue to arrive until late in the night.
During the roosting season thousands
ore killed nightly, the forest often being
the scene of the wildest confusion. The
hunters bring down their birds with
shotguns and poles—those roosting on
the lower limbs being knocked off with
long poles. A constant whirr of the
wings of the birds and cracking and
fall of limbs from the accumulated
weight of pigeons upon them is heard
and seen, and the scene often is so ex
citing as to beggar description.
QUEER CONUNDRUMS.
One day some of us got to talking
about that witty old eynio, Dean Swift”
when one of the company took advant
age of the opening and gave this jeu do
mol of his: “Why,” asked the Dean,
“is it right, by the lex ialionia, to pick
an artist’s pocket ?” It was given up,
of course, and the answer was, “Be
cause he has pictures.” A silenee fell
about the table round until, one by one,
we saw it. Then one thoughtful man
observed : “It was impossible to give
the answer, because the Dean had con
trived to reserve the answer to himself.
I could not, for instance, say it is right
for me to pick an artist’s pocket because
he has picked yours.” Here is another
conundrum, founded upon a pun, which
only the propounder can solve : An old
man aud a young man were standing by
a meadow. “ Why,” asked the yoiing
man, “is this clover older than you?”
“It is not," replied the other. “It is,
though,” returned the young man, “be
cause it is pasturage.” Thereupon an
abstracted-looking person, who had not
followed the line of remark, and had
not understood the illustration, startled
us with this irrelevant inquiry : “ Why
cannot a pantoinimiat tickle nine Esqui
maux ? Give it up ? Why, it’s because
he can gesticulate.”
FUTURE OF THE BALLOON.
Prof. King says : “ The balloon
Is condemned by many, and justly so,
because there are those who claim for it
impossibilities. It can only he used and
valued for what it is worth to science.
It will never be used as a carrier in tho
strict sense, because that is impractica
ble ; but for scientific research it is the
only means we have of studying tho
higher regions and learning about the
j upper currents—about tho formation of
! rain and snow and the action of storms.
It is the only thing by which we can
reach a point in the heavens clear of the
I earth ; and for these purposes it is in
valuable. The day will never come
when they will be made to navigate the
air against the currents. That can only
| be done by flying machines, having mo
mentum, which a balloon is without.
You can not throw a tuft cf cotton
against the wind, for the reason that it
' has no resistance. The balloon’s mis
sion is scientific in several ways. You
know in case of war it has been voiy
useful in escaping from besieged cities,
like Paris, for instance, and for military
operations is the only way you have of
looking into the enemy’s fortifications
with impunity. It is also valuable for
looking down into deep water. I had an
offer made to me once to float over Lake
Erie and search for a steamer that had
sunk in a storm. From a balloon you
can look down to the bottom of very deep
; water, because you are away far enough
to overcome tho reflection of the sky.
j “I have not the least doubt that the air
1 will be navigated by a flying machine,
but it will have to fly better than a bird
flies, the same as a ship, and than a fish;
that is, the ship will carry a thousand
passengers and a heavy cargo, aud go
through water very swiftly, while a fish
has all it can do to take care of itself. The
flying machine will be propelled by
some great force —it may be nitro
glycerine, it may be gun powder, and it
may be something else that will give it
momentum but, whatever it is, it will
be light and compact, so that a handful
of it, so to speak, will last a whole day,
A base-ball travels when hit by a bat,
and, if there should be a fly on its sur
face, it would carry its passenger. You
know how nicely a piece of card-board
i can bo shied through the air. The fly
j {ng-machine will operate on something
i like tho same principle, but balloons will
never be used for the purpose, being, as
I said before, without momentum."
In Chicago the women dress so giuok
like men that they are allowed to hang
on the straps o l street without
I tmsog&itioa,
NO. 2t).