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About The Butler herald. (Butler, Ga.) 1875-1962 | View Entire Issue (March 16, 1880)
* 1 ’I "T7 F X «, mates One ysar...i '..**.#» ; $1 so liimonthf, 76 Thrss months . 40 VMi|«l»«r Law Dcclalau. 1. Any person who Ukit a paper re.^nlsr- ly from the posto&os-whether dlrrcttd to hie name or another's, or whether he hea anb* eon bad or set—is responsible for the uout. Alfa person orders hit paper d iacontiaoed he meat pay all arrearage!, or the publfaher ■ay eoatinae to aend it natil payment is aaade, and ooUeet the whole amoanf,whether •he paper is taken from theofflce or not. 8. The courts hare decided that refasiag to take newspapers or periodicals from the poetoflee, or renfovihir end haring them anealled for is prime facie evidence of in* natiotnel trend. * TOPICS OF TJBI$ PAY. Omaha has contributed $3,500 to the Irteh Relief Fund. The Talmage Tabernaclo, Brooklyn, is reported to be mortgaged for $46,000. The net earnings of the Illinois Cen tral Railway in 1879 were $4,207,708. The Cincinnati Commercial wants Grant to run for Vice Presideut. The London Timet maintains that the government’ postal-telegraph system is an immense failure. March 17 is the day fixed for the Southern Railroad banquet at Cincin- nati. __ It is said that Grant gave the servants nt the house in which he stopped while in Havana $500 in money. Rowland E, TJrowbbidge, of Michi gan, has beon nominated for Commis sioner of Indian Affaire. Professor Huxley has pronounced the skull of the Central African Boko human. __ * TnElegislature of Louisiana is organiz ing a board of agriciflture and immigra tion. , A law has just been enacted in Rhode Island that will prevent pigeon shooting for sporOor a test of marksmanship. The receipts of the State of Wiscon sin last year were $1,812,085, and the expenditures $1,627,146. That is a pay-as-you-go State. An Englishman writes to tho London Timet that there was not a total'abetaincr among the Episcopal Bishops who nt- ended the Pan-American Congress. •«i a Ft 1— The Emperor of Russiu-«liust chnngo his dinner hour. Irregular habits in tho prosont instance would bo conducive jto health. . ^• . ■ ► • CoNORESd sterns to hate abandoned & all thought of improving the laws for the counting of the vote for President and Vice-President. They are getting up a Tay Bridge relief fund in Britain and the latest Scottish journals announce Hint it has reached the sum of $2{j,800. It is ordered by the Postmaster-Gen eral that all persons receiving mail mat ter trader fictitious name* shall be iden tified at the postoffica before the mail ii delivered to fhem. f THE BUTLER HERALD. W. N. BENNS, JAMES D. RUSS, Editor!. “LET TUbRE BE UGHT.” Subscription, $1.50 in Advaiee. VOLUME IV. BUTLER, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 1880. NUMBER 24. THE New York Produce Exchange is trying to effect a reduction in freight rates, so as to reduce prices of grain, with a view of creating a better export demand. _ About one hundred Mexican veterans met at Columbus, Ohio, recently and adoptcu a resolution, calling on Congress to pass the bill for the relief of soldiers of the Mexican war. — ■— Toe B&utV.^parolina General Assem bly Has passed a bill for the settlement of the debt of Columbia'. Tho debt is $1,000,000, and thirty-year bonds nre to he issued, bearing two, three and four per cent. ' . At a meeting at Syracuse of the State Committee of the National Greenback party, the Ohiiirman, Thomas P. Saund ers, was charged with selling out to the Democrats. He will be tried for the al- ledgod offense at Albany, March 28. If Professor Proctor is correct in his theory, the sun is engaged at- intervals in bombarding the planetary system and all surrounding space with matter sev eral thousand timete hotter than the fiery furnace. A contemporary jocosely remarks that, judging from the list of killed and woundod soldiers in the Winter Palace nt 8t» Petersburg, there was no notice able negligence in providing a sufficient military force in that quarter. IN the Ohio Legislature, a resolution passed the House calling on Congress to abolish the duty on white paper. The Wheeling leader says every legisla ture in the country should do tho same thing. Cheap newspapers are almost ns important to the public welfare as free education. _ ■* ItIb now desired to construct tho Cin cinnati Houthern from Chattanooga to a place called Boyce Station, a distance of five miles. Something less than a mil lion dollars is askod for the purpose. A contemporary suggest that $100,000 is sufficient to build a railroad that dis tance. ^ It is said that there is a growing feeling in China against an extension of foreign intercourse. The Viceroy Shen, who recently died at Nanking, left a memorial in which he strongly argued for Chinese exclusiveness, and this memorial is now being secretly circulated, and is produc ing a great effect. The reason why the risq in the price of paper is so oppressive is that nil jour nals of repute have spent the money saved by the cheapness of tho paper either in improving the character of the journal or in decreasing the subscription price. Naturally they are unwilling, for the purpose of enriching paper makers, to step backward twenty yenrs. The Detroit Free Putt wisely ob serves that it is not the newspapers which are alone interested in keeping the price of paper at a moderate figure. The price of cheaper school-books will be affected by the high cost/ of paper. So will all hand-bills, posters and other job work of the common sort, which naturally affects the interests and purses of tho greatest number of people. It is a blow at the poorer classes of the people of moderate means, and touches the pockets of tho masses rather than the wealthy^ A company with an invested capital of $50,000 has been in operation in Maine in the manufacture of beet sugar. The quantity of beets used last year was 9,000 tons. The sum paid for the beets, freightage’and storage was $59,000. The amount realized from the sale of sugar, molasses, pulp and lime waste was $111,- 000. The total expenses for buildings, machinery, etc., were $108,000, leaving lees tlmh $8,000 profit. So no dividends were declared. This, however, is the' first year’s operations, and better results arc looked for in 1880. It is probably the beginning of a profitable industry in tbo Pine Tree State. The New England manufacturers and merchants who favor the re-enactment of A National bankrupt law have made good progress in creating a sentiment in favor of the movement, and at a meeting held in Boston, it was announced that the business community generally ap- provo of it. The State laws differ, and all of them are ^Umbrous! The need of a National law, purged of tho ottoth of the former one; seems to be recognized. Leading merchants of NeW York have petitioned Congress for the passage of a suitable law. The movement in the East seems to be general in tins matter. Truly by the iimo the Rev. Mr. Cow ry lias been subjected to trial upon the twenty-three remaining indictments for cruelty to the children confined in his Fold, he will be tjiipnor than the most emaciated of the little sufferers. A Wealthy farmer in Maryland, forty-five years of age, has married a girl of twelve, a distant relatiou, and there is talk of arresting ot tarring and feathering him, though the reporter who sent the news ingenuously says it is not known on what charge he can be arrested. If that is the case it is profaned the virtuous people of Maryland will tar and feather him on general principles. Tjyit is the way they will get even with tfic law. There is nothing like asserting virtue. If the law is in the way so much the worse for the law. It appears from the statistics of last year that the export of agricultural im plements from this country has been overdone, but the domesti^ trade i lively and tho demand for improved methods growing. The present and pros pective caII for American cereals is stimulating a great industry. Mb. W. W. Cobcob an’s desire to add a national portrait gallery and school of art to the “Corcoran. A^t Gallery,” in. Washington, is defeated by Admiral S. P. Lee’s persistent refusal to sell, even at an exorbitant price, the necessary ad jacent lots. ■ T; Apropob to the completion of tho Cincinnati Southern Railroad, the Cin cinnati CfazeUi takes occasion to say; “An intelligent woman, who has been much at the .South and much at the North, remarked ;tkat«he could notate how tho two Ddoples could come to a fair understanding until th# got better acquainted There is a good deal in this. ThoLBout^iffn'JlWUroatLvrI'll lerye to extend (he neigh bors at Atlkhta^tiuty jumj»,qbto a train in the evening-and be henjf'tM next morning; Ape rid' ike .in fCipcinnati and retuni hotne^he ^axt night; Wc shall cal^ie Georgia people our neigh bors, and they may call UA neighbors. We do not mean by this that the South ern people will bo expected to make short visits. We want the vista to be many and long. The latclistring is out.” A Lucky Man. They were talking of M. X. “Luckiest fellow I ever knew . ” said one; “ every thing succeeded with him—turned out just as he wanted. ” •‘I don't Jknow,” hazards his compan ion ; “ I know of f ome occasions when thinss went contrary with him. ” “ Bosh, bosh, my dear fellow. Why, the last time I met him he said to me: “ Here I am in perfect health, rich, with a charming and lovely wife, fine chil- r) Abthob’Vl?» ev<, J[Ything that ,«f*poifitment and wifi*no dfilj SOUTHERN NEWS. Memphis has 459 untenanted houses. The Middle Georgia Military and Agricultural College has 800 student*. The military fever is raging in most of the counties of Southern Georgia. Goat-bkins worth $25,000 were shipped from Corpus Christi, Texas, last week. The exports of hides from Texas in a single year amounted to nearly $8,- 000,000. A number of farmers are successfully cultivating upland rice in Monroe County, Ga. The amount of lumber exported from Pensacola, Fla., during January was 24,580,000 feet Fifteen Tennessee stables are to be represented at the spring meeting of the Chicago Jockey Club. Charleston people complain of the lack of facilities for daily and weekly recreation, and want a public garden. Tampa, Fla., boasts that murder has not been committed in that place for the past six years. An appropriation of $800 has been made for an educational exhibit at the appaoaching centennial at Nashville. One thousand men and 250 teams are making things lively on the line of the Texas Pacific Railroad. The ground in certain localities in Nash County, N. O., has sunk several inches, and an earthquake is feared. There will be no nominations for county officers in Franklin Oonnty, Ala., this year. The field is open to all aspi rants to office. The average expense per mile for keeping up the county fence between Abbeville and Edgefield Counties, S. O., is $27 per annum. Twenty-five different brands of com mercial fertilizers are on Bale in York* ville, S. O. Tho demand for them now ia greater than for any year in the past. The wool-growers of Atascosa County, Texas, have organized for the purpose of eradicating the disease known as the scab from the shpepof.tbat county. Near Valdosta, Ga., J. C. Jones killed five wild turkey gobblers at one abot. Their aggregate weight was ninety-five pounds. Sixty-Seven per cent, of the deaths at Memphis are from more or less pre ventable diseases, such as consumption, malarial and typhoid fevers, scarlet fever and diarrheal diseases. Eably amber sugar-cane will be largely planted in Fayette County, Texas, this year. A sugar factory is being established at Lagrange, with a capacity of sixty tons of cane per day. The Missouri, Kansas and Pacific Railroad, Texas Pacific Railroad and Dallas and Wichita Railroad have agreed to build a large union depot at Dallas, Texas. The wife of United States Senator Wilkinson Call, of Florida, is the young est of all the Senators’ wives, and is said to be the most beautiful. 8he was a Miss Simking, of South Carolina. During the tornado |at Nashville on Thursday the wind reached a velocity of forty milea per hour. It blew steadily from twenty to thirty miles an hour for two hours and a half. A recent ordinance of the city of Charlotte, N. C., prohibits all work on Snnday about freight offices, the shift ing of freight trains and all other duties of railroad employes except what are connected with the regular passenger trains. Since NaehvlUe and Edgefield have been annexed the next thing will be a bridge for free travel between the two places. The present suspension bridge can probably be purchased, hut it has been suggested that a new stone-arch bridge be erected. Near Charlotte, N. C., a negro girl twelve years old fell down a mine^Tortr feet deep, where she remained nine hours without being discovered. She was drawn up smiling, and has suffered no illefieota from the ialloi Nathan Cook, of Terrell County, Ga., is 102 years old, and still earns his daily bread. He has ten children, the youngest of whom is forty years old. He hae lived in the same yard that now incloses his home ever since the Indian war. Tne Georgia Historical Society, with its headquarters at Savanah. has nearlv 12,000 volumes in its library. During the year 932 volumes and 228 pamphlets have been* added. The income of the society last year’was $3,183.71, which was sufficient to defray all expenses. Macon, Ga., Is infested with a swarm of tramps who seem to be a regularly organized band. They have attempted to enter several houses by force, and on Friday a lady was knocked down in ber own house while trying to prevent the entrance of some of these vaga bonds. The various manufacturing .estab lishments in Columbus, Ga., gi?e em ployment to 1,201 adult males, 1,100 fc-. males aud 280 children—a total of 2,641 perrons. This is the number steadily employed. In times of unusual activity it is frequently doubled. The ton conducted the past year at the ex perimental farm in Athens, showing that cotton seed or stable manure will furnish all the ammonia needed In making com posts on the farm. The heavy rains among the monntains of Tennessee did considerable damage to the Cincinnati Southern Riilroad by causing landslides. Hundreds of thou- arads of dollars will be required after this road ia turned over to the carrier company for completion and mainten ance, to pnt it in complete and perma nent running condition. The Lynchburg (Va.) Newt learns from a reliable gentleman who has just passed over the Huntington route from BL Louts, that large numbers of negroes are actually returning on foot, and that the Chesapeake and Ohio road is lined with them, making their way baok to North Carolina. He remarked that they were not bringing any of the fine farms with them, nor half of the good clothes they wore away. ten years ago a large colony of Gei mans from Cincinnati, none of whom could speak English, purchased a trad of land in Lawrence County, Tenn., said to contain 4,100 acres. It has since been discovered that it contained onlv 2,067 acres, and they were defrauded cut of $3,500, besides the interest on this amount for ten years. The colony haa brought suit in the Supreme Court at Nashville for the recovery of this sum. The Commissioner of Agriculture has received reports informing him of the existence of asbestoa In several localities of the State, and some specimens have been sent to him. He tested them in the fire and found that the fibres, even when separated from eaoh other, wonld stand a white heat He intends, as soon as possible, to send ont an agent and have the deposits inspected with a view of ascertaining their .exaot quality and their probable extent and value.—Col- umbia (S. C.) Regilter. Matt. Woodleif, the Texas des perado, gambler and murderer, the dread of Houston and South Texas, was killed at Lake Charles, La., on Monday. Many years "agp Woodlief shot and killed a man in Col umbos, Texas, and afterwaid became a desperate character. In 1878 he attacked and fought a street duel with Alexander Erickson, Chief of Police at Houston, Texas. About ten shots in all were fired with revolvers. Both men were shot down on Main street, and lay within a few yards o! each other. Woodlief was shot in the hip and his hip-bone was broken by a ball, and Erickson was shot through the thigh and the bone broken. Both re covered, but were cripples. But few regret Woodlief’s taking off, as he was a terror in Texas, and, in fact, there is rejoicing that he was killed. A Pea Picture of De Lesseps. ITrot Badri ] The noble Viscount Ferdinand de Lesseps was pouring his torrent of speech straight at the head of Gen. Millen; it continued for ten minutes, and when he finally paused, not for breath, and not evidently because his pond haa run out, but probably to give nis tired arms a rest after the violent and wild gesticu lating exercise to which they had been subjected, and when his features and arms had finally lapsed from animated galvanic convulsion back to comparative calm, we had time to note that his eyea \ J L-. A cannon was plaoed in front of the Governor's residence in Cheyenne, M y- oming, on February 16th. The A men- —*» . . . , *■ auuivuj i« »• iraiuvuuj wuunu. can flag was displayed thereon; also two roen w "‘ 110 illness, population of Columbus la about 15,000. placards, reading: “The Governor-1 meet with the entire approbation ^{1 At the State Agricultural Convention be protected at all hazards.” “ }\ 0 f the circuit, cerdLt Cuthbert, Ga., Prof. Wm. M Browne* must bo respected regttr.lk-a# Of , • ^ported experiments on corn and a deep black. Considering that the 75th year of t kis age. he may be set down as a well-preserved man. He was born at Versailles, France, Nov. 19, 1805. He has yet considerable vigor and life left in^iim notwithstanding nis old a e. His Virility may be judged from the fact that Mme. de Le-seps, who speaks very good English, boasts that she was not married tod* Lewps until he was sixty years old, and that she has had seven children in eight years, of whom two were twins. Mme. de Lesseps is of Creole origin. She is the daughter of M. de Bragasa, who was a judge Mauritius, or, tho Isle of France, English Island in the Indian Ocean, whore she was born. She was 21 yenrs old in 1869, when de Lesseps married her an his return from Palestine. As I saw her later at Panama and elsewhere on the Isthmus, I should say she was, when younger, a Creole beauty, of the type of that race, with magnificent black velvety eyea, which cons itute the brightest feature of her face. The New Kind of School. The dicipline of the Quincy schools of B iston astonishes the old-fashioned teachers. While it was beingexplained by one of the committee the other day, an old teacher objected, ** but—this is very noisy.” “ Precisely,madam;this is a workshop, not a funeral. You can’t have a beehive without r buzz.” “ And.” continued the critic, “ that little bov in the plaid jacket whispered to tho little girl in white.” •' Quite likely, madafiu we can readily find excuse, for bnghF-cyed, curly-hcai rosy-cheeked little boys will whisper l_ little girls in white. We once had a tendency in that direction ourselves, and we do not see any occasion for pound ing him or shaking him, or standing him in the corner, or putting him in a dark closet, or even appearing to notice it all.” Teachers make a grea‘ advance in school government when they learn how not to see. Brussels carpet, silver-plated ice- coolers, pnd rosewood desks are not absolutely necessary for a ^Vestern newspaper office. A seven-barreled horso-piatol, a pot of paste, and a pair of shears are all the furniture that is really necessary to begin operations with. A good many people pretend to be not what they will bo trumped up to be at the lrfst A Woman With Impulses. |F*w York Trllmu..] Rochester plumes itself upon “ a woman with a history.” She was the daughter of a wealthy grain speculator of Toronto, from whom she received a ■mall fortune. Married to a young me chanic in St. Catharines, she soon left him, removing all the available funds ■he could carry away. At Buffalo, whither she went, she is said to have led a gay lile, and is said to have been mar ried agAin in that city. She first went to Rochester in 1864, engaged a suite of rooms, and was seen u[*on the streets daily. She had a carriage at her order and had eervants to do her bidding. From 1866 to 1869 she was absent from the city, having squandered her money. Hhe went to Cleveland where she en joyed life as she had in Rochester. Her carriage was at the door when she wanted it; servants went and came, and jewelry and fine dresses were abundant. Pleasures failed at last, and false stim ulant* were resorted to. She sought re lief by taking opium. Returning to Rochester she lived very quietly for a time, but soon ascertained that she had only to “touch the wire” and money would come from Cleveland. She tele graphed, and the old life of extra va- ance was resumed. She would at times •uy $100 or $200 worth of goods in a day, only to give them away. At one hotel she was noted for her liberality to the servants, to whom she gave drosses and jewelry without regard to their cost. She is supposed to have spent about $50,000 in a little over two years. The end came at last, the Cleveland fund falling. The hotel was left and poorer quarters taken. Then she began buyiag right aud left without paying for any thing, and now she is in jail awaiting trial. “Yes,” she says, “I have taken opium for years. I use two ounoes a day now, and have for some time. The doc tors say it Is enough to kill me, but I cannot stop it. I - went to the cure at Dansville, where I tried to break the habit by taking a smaller quantity, but it was no nsc. The struggle was worse than the effects of the upturn, and I left the cure. I feel at times as if I must follow every impulse, and I cannot resist always.” Kissing the Wrong Man, Amusing scenes often ocour at railway depots. The Rochester Chronicle tells^ the following as happening there: The Erie depot was the scene of a ludi crous mistake last night on the arrival of the day express. Ay B known-in society here, came from the { ilatform with bound. A benevolent ookiog old gem and snow-white side whiskers was stand ing directly in front of the car evidently watching for a friend. She dropped her traveling bag and with more tnan the usual demonstrations displayed on such occasions, threw both arms about his neck and imprinted several sounding kisees npnn his face, at the same time murmuring, “ Oh, papa7” The startled old gentleman pushed her gently and said in a smothered tone, “Some mis take, some mistake.” She sprang back like a frightened fawn, “ Oh, I thought you were father. You’ll excuse me. won’t you 7” “ Certainly,” said the old boy smacking bis lips ana smiling, “ but you—you nearly smothered me?’ She afterwards fonnd her “ papa.” but the previous effort had exhausted her and she merely gave him a cold sort of a meeting-house kiss. “Playing *Roun'| ’Mong de Psalm.” I Atlanta CnnotitutlM,.] A well known Georgian, while trav eling in Liberty County recently, met a lame negro preacher in the road and| stopped him for a little talk. ” “Butler,” said the gentleman, “ I see you have your Bible in your hand. Do you preach to-day? ’ “Yesser.” “ Well, what is your text 7” “ Well, sab, I ain’t tuck no tex’ ez yit” “ Wbatl no text? Don’t you prepare your sermons ?’’ “ No, sab, not zactly. ” “ Why, Butler, I have never known a preacher to deliver a sermon without writing It or thinking it over. ” “ Dat’s wrong sah. Dat ain’t ‘cordin’ ter de Scriptur. De Bible say, ‘Open yo’ mouf cn I will fill um.’” “ But then there are some mighty big mouths. ” “ Yesser, dat's so—dat’s so, sho. ” “ Well, you haven’t prepared any ser mon, and you haven’t taken any text. What do you intend to do to-day?” “ Well, sah, I jes specks terday fer ter play ’roun’ ’mong de l’salms.” Social Life la Washington. Mary Clemmer sajrs that in no other American city is visiting carried to such an extent os in Washington. Every indy “ In society ” has her day for re ceiving calls, and the distribution of cards is enormous. But calls may be made extensively without invitation. “ When strangers visits Washington,” she adds, “ and take up their abode at a hotel, they have only to discover the days of public reception, hire a hack, A Fuddled Elephant. fNow Tork Sun.| I saw little Betsv as drunk as a fid dler one time, and she was a funny sight. e showing late in the fall in Indiana, in very severe weather. Some keys, and birds, and snakes, had ady frozen, and Betsy showed that she waa suffering greatly from the cold. Long John went to Manager Older and said to him: “‘You’d better get some whiskey for Betsy, or she’ll freexe. ’ “ ‘How much V “‘Her ears are just beginning to freeze; get three buckets.” “ W’ell, they knew that wa* two for Betay, and one for Long John; but when it came to elephants, he was the boas, and the whiskey was got a* he ordered. Only you should have seen the tavern- keeper's eyes stand out when they or dered three buckets of whiskey for two drinks. Betsy drank all they gave her, and got staving drunk. Bhe’a stagger, and roll over, and pick herself up, and piek Long John up and toss him on her back, ana sort of laugh, and he’d laugh, and it wm nip and tnck between them which was the Irunker. Elephants are very fond of whiskey, or any sort of liquor, especially if it has lot* of red pepper in it. ana they are not only fond of getting drunk themselves, bat they are very considerate of drunken men. I never vet knew of an elephant hurting a drunken man. That Long John, when he was staggering drunk, wonld go right up to Sultan or Canada, when nobody else dared to go near them, and wouia fool round them, and swing on their tusks, and toss their trunks about, and go to sleop right down by their feet, and they would not only not do him any harm, but wouldn’t let any body else go near him until he chose to wake up. And any real drunken man can do pretty much wh&the plesses with an ele phant. The Price of Paper. |F*«ria (Ili.) Journal.1 A singular circumstance connected with it (Fort’s bill) is that many of the eastern papers have ridiculed Mr. Fort’s effort. This gives color to the suspicion that the paper steal is a conspiracy be tween the Eastern newspapers ^and the paper mills, and that the rise fin paper is intended to operate solely in the West. Not a single eastern paper has pjrotonted agajmt it, and theyiseem to be an- affected by the irise.Western news papers ought to recollect this and with ' I “ ‘ Col. Fort’s motion, of newspapers., the West,” their superior push mM enterprise, have had a disastrous effect upon the Eastern nresa. There was a time when the West si and proceed to visit. On Monday they can go to the homes of the Judges of the Supreme Court and other court*; on Wednesday they can call on the Cabinet ladies; on Thursday v’sit all the Senatorial families; and on Satur day go to the White House to see Mrs. Hayes. In every drawing-room the visi tors will find standing in its centre from one to e dozen ladies, richly attired, re ceiving all with politeness, few with that gracious charm which makes the loneliest stranger feel at home. This is not strange. Those ladies are compelled so constantly to greet so many whom thoy do not know that the task becomes not only monotonous, but Irksome. These calls involve no pereoual recogni tion. The lady who received you on Wednesday in her own parlor, on 'niure- day may meet you on the street without a glance of recognition. doubtful if they m that number. The loss in other quarters has been equally great. It is evident, therefore, that the present rise in paper is an effort made to so embarrass the Western newspapers as to give theEastr era newspapers another leare of^ife or renewed patronage in the W«t9t„|lt re mains to be seen whether thif precious scheme wili win. If Western newspapers are alive to their interest*, they will not only snstnin Col. Fort in his action, but will insist upon their members of Con gress voting and working for the bill. If this b? done, there will be no further ro uble. « Ho Practiced It Daily. John Spitz was called upon to step out of the prisoners’ room of the Police Court, and when he had taken his place before Judge Young, Prosecutor Lewis proceeded to read the information which charged him with insulting Mrs. Moriartv. Mr. Lewis then asked the prisoner whether he was guilty or not guilty. “No-n-no-not gU-gil-gilt-guilty, sir.” “ You have an impediment in your peech, John, haven’t you?” “ No n no, sir,” replied John. “Did you insult Mrs. Moriarty?” questioned the Judge. “ Mrs. Mo-mo-ri-rare more-rare,” and then Christy, who was standing near, jerked his arm, and he ejaculated “ rarity? No, sir.” “ How did you come to stutter this way?” said Lewis. I p-p-practiced it dail-dail-daily.” His Ilonor then asked Mrs. MoriArty what Spitz had said to her. “ Shu re. he called me a wangdoodle, yer Honor.” “Why, madam, that’s impossible. The man couldn’t stut-ut-stut-utteT such a word. I’m obliged to dismiss the case before I catch the complaint.” The defendant undertook to thank the court but the latter told him life was short, and there wasn’t really time to spare. The Soko—Is He Man or Beast! ri,..n4nn T*U*raph.| The tribes of Central Africa, all along the Livingstone River from Ny- angwe^to the cataracts, declared the Soko to be a monkey, and as such hunted it and ate it. They hnnted and ate men, too, it is true; but then they distinguished the one from the other, and never mistook men for monkeys. Mr. Stanley, however, brought hftne the skulls of two “ Sokos,” which had been eaten by an affable chief with whom he foregathered one day. led Prof. Huxley at once pronounoea them to be human. Was Africa in a conspiracy to play off a practical joke upon the explorer, or is European science wrong in its differentiation of mau and ape? The gorilla has long been degraded to its proper rank, and the “ mum ” of Sind turned out to be no nearer a man than a bear. But C tral America has cotne forward with Susumeta, and so far as descriptions . .pasmino smiles. • # “ Before the wwr “—courting. Down in the mouth—bact teeth. A misfitting coat is a lie out of the whole cloth. A petrified body indicates that the man Is stone dead. “ I think I'll take something,” as the thief said when he mixed in the orowd. The best place to have a boil—-in the tea kettle. It is easily drawn. A Miss-understanding — when a young lady comprehends, of oouree. “ I tumble to the wreck it,” as the high wind said to the prairie nut. Where there’s a will there’s a way; and where there’s a won’t there’s a woman behind it. Problem in logic: If God made the country and nun made the town, who made New Jersey ? Death may love a shining mark, but the bald-headed live about as long as anybody. Brevity is the soul of wit, but it has to be stretched out a good deal some times to get enough for the uppers. “ Death loves a shining mark,” which is perhaps the reason why a dead mack erel shines on a moonlight night. A man once asked of Echo, “what shall I do if my wife drinks liquor?” and the unfeeling nymph answered— “ lick her.” An infamous old bachelor being asked if he ever witnessed a public execution* replied, “ No, but I once saw a mar riage.' “ Tennyson spends hours on a single line.” And so, l>y the way, does tne washerwoman. And the line of the lat ter is the longest. If a big head denotes ability, it ia an interesting sight to chserre what A show ing of ability thh» town puts forth every Monday morning. A witness in court was asked if a party to tne suit was a truthful man. “No;” he answered, “he’d rather lie at sixty days than tell the truth fer cosh.” The plethoric paste pot of an editor who clips more than he writes, is likehla paper—seldom filled with live nut ter.—Hackentack Republican. Experience teacheth. Great men do not consider them selves above everybody else; 'tin those ignorant little runts who wear standup collars and sport canes, and who refuse to pay their washing bills, that think everyone beneath them. No othor incident can call to a man’s face such an idiotic expression of as sumed unconsciousness as the accidental fall of a bottle of whiskey from hla pocket to the sidewalk on a Sunday af ternoon. Whs wouldn’t be a sailor? All you have to do is yell “aye, aye, sir,” at the top of your voice about once in ten min utes. The rest of the time you can look over the ship’s stern and watch the sharks. a aart**hanKing'c/i thi a-llneln the IW union, and he thought: •• me ioikb aru out, the coaet Is clear, I'll bag that Drintsela 111 cun." He old, and making no delay, Adown the alley, In the duek, The carpet-bugger tramped away. Leap year.—She—“Are you engaged for the next German?” He(with eager ness)—"No, I’m not.” She (with pit^— “Oh. that’s too bad I Good evening. See you later.” The bar-keeper had made ready for him, and when the man came in who never paid for his drinks and called for cacktail, the b. k. gently placed a rooster’s feather in a class of water and smiled a piratical smile that made his faoe look like a dried prune. Man wants but little ear, below, nor want* that little long. Mao wants but little ear bologna, wnuts that little long. Man wants but little leer; wants but litter hero below; wants but little Leah below; wants but Little here below; wants but little ear b’low, etc. “John, what odor ia that? ” “Cloves* love.” “ But that other ? ” “ Allspice, iv beloved.” “But isn’t there another ?” Yes, apples, belovedest.” “Just one more?” “Raisins, mv mostbelovedest.” Well, John, if you’a only drink just a little br&ndv, now, I think you would make a good mince pie.” This being leap vear. a boarder at an up-town amateur hotel thought it fine fun to put a bent pin on each vacant chair, until one agile feeder leaped up four feet into the air and came down with his great unwashed hand in the only bowl of bash in the house. There was a famine until supper time. The dull-cytd donkey droop* lilt head, Wrapped In hinuelf, With patent nentpluully, And meekly loDuws where tao’s led— Tho cunning elf: Rut, when hi* hccln licit In lo "lied, Ills latent assiduity r Asserts Itself. —Jliieientack Republican. Ib there any mail for me?” she said to a handsome rke. •‘ Certainly,” said he. “ Where ?’ T said she. _ “ Here.” said he, with open arms. *’ “That’s my funeral,” sang the maid. Friends are invited to attend without further notice. So much for what the maid made by getting tho male mail. The better a man becomes, the stronger does the hope of “ the glory of going on ” take hold of his nature. The instinctive expectation of life beyond the grave strengthens with the increase of virtue in the soul. The man who lives best most keenly feels that life is worth living, most resolutely turns away from the thought of its extinc tion. Upon I Jt that fi “To be plane frith you,” said the car penter, “I see no shaving in the scheme.” “ You don’t ? ” ejaculated the»cooper, “ why, it adze largely to my income.” “Is that aw’ 7” added the shoemaker, “ No,” answetbd a printer, “if he’ll stick to it, hVil form an idea of what it is to rule.'a “Pshaw,” exclaimed the bank cashier, “these are only figures of speech: we must protest against the thing. “No,”said the untutored blacksmith. “ I’ve blowed for him, an 1 he must anvil accept the job.” “That settles it,” said the coffee merchant, and the meeting adjourned^ The Cora Beetle !r Russia. If the accounts from c«l southern Russia are to be bel corn beetle, which may bej first cousin to the beetle,, Y 0 >#
