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VMi|«l»«r Law Dcclalau.
1. Any person who Ukit a paper re.^nlsr-
ly from the posto&os-whether dlrrcttd to
hie name or another's, or whether he hea anb*
eon bad or set—is responsible for the uout.
Alfa person orders hit paper d iacontiaoed
he meat pay all arrearage!, or the publfaher
■ay eoatinae to aend it natil payment is
aaade, and ooUeet the whole amoanf,whether
•he paper is taken from theofflce or not.
8. The courts hare decided that refasiag
to take newspapers or periodicals from the
poetoflee, or renfovihir end haring them
anealled for is prime facie evidence of in*
natiotnel trend. *
TOPICS OF TJBI$ PAY.
Omaha has contributed $3,500 to the
Irteh Relief Fund.
The Talmage Tabernaclo, Brooklyn,
is reported to be mortgaged for $46,000.
The net earnings of the Illinois Cen
tral Railway in 1879 were $4,207,708.
The Cincinnati Commercial wants
Grant to run for Vice Presideut.
The London Timet maintains that the
government’ postal-telegraph system is
an immense failure.
March 17 is the day fixed for the
Southern Railroad banquet at Cincin-
nati. __
It is said that Grant gave the servants
nt the house in which he stopped while
in Havana $500 in money.
Rowland E, TJrowbbidge, of Michi
gan, has beon nominated for Commis
sioner of Indian Affaire.
Professor Huxley has pronounced
the skull of the Central African Boko
human. __ *
TnElegislature of Louisiana is organiz
ing a board of agriciflture and immigra
tion. ,
A law has just been enacted in Rhode
Island that will prevent pigeon shooting
for sporOor a test of marksmanship.
The receipts of the State of Wiscon
sin last year were $1,812,085, and the
expenditures $1,627,146. That is a
pay-as-you-go State.
An Englishman writes to tho London
Timet that there was not a total'abetaincr
among the Episcopal Bishops who nt-
ended the Pan-American Congress.
•«i a Ft 1—
The Emperor of Russiu-«liust chnngo
his dinner hour. Irregular habits in
tho prosont instance would bo conducive
jto health. . ^• . ■ ►
• CoNORESd sterns to hate abandoned
& all thought of improving the laws for
the counting of the vote for President
and Vice-President.
They are getting up a Tay Bridge relief
fund in Britain and the latest Scottish
journals announce Hint it has reached
the sum of $2{j,800.
It is ordered by the Postmaster-Gen
eral that all persons receiving mail mat
ter trader fictitious name* shall be iden
tified at the postoffica before the mail ii
delivered to fhem.
f
THE BUTLER HERALD.
W. N. BENNS, JAMES D. RUSS, Editor!.
“LET TUbRE BE UGHT.”
Subscription, $1.50 in Advaiee.
VOLUME IV.
BUTLER, GEORGIA, TUESDAY, MARCH 16, 1880.
NUMBER 24.
THE New York Produce Exchange is
trying to effect a reduction in freight
rates, so as to reduce prices of grain,
with a view of creating a better export
demand. _
About one hundred Mexican veterans
met at Columbus, Ohio, recently and
adoptcu a resolution, calling on Congress
to pass the bill for the relief of soldiers
of the Mexican war.
— ■—
Toe B&utV.^parolina General Assem
bly Has passed a bill for the settlement
of the debt of Columbia'. Tho debt is
$1,000,000, and thirty-year bonds nre to
he issued, bearing two, three and four
per cent. ' .
At a meeting at Syracuse of the State
Committee of the National Greenback
party, the Ohiiirman, Thomas P. Saund
ers, was charged with selling out to the
Democrats. He will be tried for the al-
ledgod offense at Albany, March 28.
If Professor Proctor is correct in his
theory, the sun is engaged at- intervals
in bombarding the planetary system and
all surrounding space with matter sev
eral thousand timete hotter than the fiery
furnace.
A contemporary jocosely remarks
that, judging from the list of killed and
woundod soldiers in the Winter Palace
nt 8t» Petersburg, there was no notice
able negligence in providing a sufficient
military force in that quarter.
IN the Ohio Legislature, a resolution
passed the House calling on Congress to
abolish the duty on white paper. The
Wheeling leader says every legisla
ture in the country should do tho same
thing. Cheap newspapers are almost ns
important to the public welfare as free
education. _ ■*
ItIb now desired to construct tho Cin
cinnati Houthern from Chattanooga to a
place called Boyce Station, a distance of
five miles. Something less than a mil
lion dollars is askod for the purpose. A
contemporary suggest that $100,000 is
sufficient to build a railroad that dis
tance. ^
It is said that there is a growing feeling
in China against an extension of foreign
intercourse. The Viceroy Shen, who
recently died at Nanking, left a memorial
in which he strongly argued for Chinese
exclusiveness, and this memorial is now
being secretly circulated, and is produc
ing a great effect.
The reason why the risq in the price
of paper is so oppressive is that nil jour
nals of repute have spent the money
saved by the cheapness of tho paper
either in improving the character of the
journal or in decreasing the subscription
price. Naturally they are unwilling, for
the purpose of enriching paper makers,
to step backward twenty yenrs.
The Detroit Free Putt wisely ob
serves that it is not the newspapers
which are alone interested in keeping
the price of paper at a moderate figure.
The price of cheaper school-books will
be affected by the high cost/ of paper.
So will all hand-bills, posters and other
job work of the common sort, which
naturally affects the interests and purses
of tho greatest number of people. It is
a blow at the poorer classes of the
people of moderate means, and touches
the pockets of tho masses rather than
the wealthy^
A company with an invested capital
of $50,000 has been in operation in
Maine in the manufacture of beet sugar.
The quantity of beets used last year was
9,000 tons. The sum paid for the beets,
freightage’and storage was $59,000. The
amount realized from the sale of sugar,
molasses, pulp and lime waste was $111,-
000. The total expenses for buildings,
machinery, etc., were $108,000, leaving
lees tlmh $8,000 profit. So no dividends
were declared. This, however, is the'
first year’s operations, and better results
arc looked for in 1880. It is probably
the beginning of a profitable industry in
tbo Pine Tree State.
The New England manufacturers and
merchants who favor the re-enactment
of A National bankrupt law have made
good progress in creating a sentiment in
favor of the movement, and at a meeting
held in Boston, it was announced that
the business community generally ap-
provo of it. The State laws differ, and
all of them are ^Umbrous! The need of
a National law, purged of tho ottoth of
the former one; seems to be recognized.
Leading merchants of NeW York have
petitioned Congress for the passage of a
suitable law. The movement in the
East seems to be general in tins matter.
Truly by the iimo the Rev. Mr. Cow
ry lias been subjected to trial upon the
twenty-three remaining indictments for
cruelty to the children confined in his
Fold, he will be tjiipnor than the most
emaciated of the little sufferers.
A Wealthy farmer in Maryland,
forty-five years of age, has married a
girl of twelve, a distant relatiou, and
there is talk of arresting ot tarring and
feathering him, though the reporter who
sent the news ingenuously says it is not
known on what charge he can be arrested.
If that is the case it is profaned the
virtuous people of Maryland will tar
and feather him on general principles.
Tjyit is the way they will get even with
tfic law. There is nothing like asserting
virtue. If the law is in the way so much
the worse for the law.
It appears from the statistics of last
year that the export of agricultural im
plements from this country has been
overdone, but the domesti^ trade i
lively and tho demand for improved
methods growing. The present and pros
pective caII for American cereals is
stimulating a great industry.
Mb. W. W. Cobcob an’s desire to add
a national portrait gallery and school of
art to the “Corcoran. A^t Gallery,” in.
Washington, is defeated by Admiral S.
P. Lee’s persistent refusal to sell, even
at an exorbitant price, the necessary ad
jacent lots. ■ T;
Apropob to the completion of tho
Cincinnati Southern Railroad, the Cin
cinnati CfazeUi takes occasion to say;
“An intelligent woman, who has been
much at the .South and much at the
North, remarked ;tkat«he could notate
how tho two Ddoples could come to a
fair understanding until th# got better
acquainted There is a good deal in
this. ThoLBout^iffn'JlWUroatLvrI'll lerye
to extend (he neigh
bors at Atlkhta^tiuty jumj»,qbto a train
in the evening-and be henjf'tM next
morning; Ape rid' ike .in fCipcinnati
and retuni hotne^he ^axt night; Wc
shall cal^ie Georgia people our neigh
bors, and they may call UA neighbors.
We do not mean by this that the South
ern people will bo expected to make
short visits. We want the vista to be
many and long. The latclistring is
out.”
A Lucky Man.
They were talking of M. X. “Luckiest
fellow I ever knew . ” said one; “ every
thing succeeded with him—turned out
just as he wanted. ”
•‘I don't Jknow,” hazards his compan
ion ; “ I know of f ome occasions when
thinss went contrary with him. ”
“ Bosh, bosh, my dear fellow. Why,
the last time I met him he said to me:
“ Here I am in perfect health, rich, with
a charming and lovely wife, fine chil-
r) Abthob’Vl?» ev<, J[Ything that
,«f*poifitment and wifi*no dfilj
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Memphis has 459 untenanted houses.
The Middle Georgia Military and
Agricultural College has 800 student*.
The military fever is raging in most
of the counties of Southern Georgia.
Goat-bkins worth $25,000 were
shipped from Corpus Christi, Texas,
last week.
The exports of hides from Texas in
a single year amounted to nearly $8,-
000,000.
A number of farmers are successfully
cultivating upland rice in Monroe
County, Ga.
The amount of lumber exported from
Pensacola, Fla., during January was
24,580,000 feet
Fifteen Tennessee stables are to be
represented at the spring meeting of
the Chicago Jockey Club.
Charleston people complain of the
lack of facilities for daily and weekly
recreation, and want a public garden.
Tampa, Fla., boasts that murder has
not been committed in that place for the
past six years.
An appropriation of $800 has been
made for an educational exhibit at the
appaoaching centennial at Nashville.
One thousand men and 250 teams are
making things lively on the line of the
Texas Pacific Railroad.
The ground in certain localities in
Nash County, N. O., has sunk several
inches, and an earthquake is feared.
There will be no nominations for
county officers in Franklin Oonnty, Ala.,
this year. The field is open to all aspi
rants to office.
The average expense per mile for
keeping up the county fence between
Abbeville and Edgefield Counties, S. O.,
is $27 per annum.
Twenty-five different brands of com
mercial fertilizers are on Bale in York*
ville, S. O. Tho demand for them now
ia greater than for any year in the past.
The wool-growers of Atascosa County,
Texas, have organized for the purpose
of eradicating the disease known as the
scab from the shpepof.tbat county.
Near Valdosta, Ga., J. C. Jones killed
five wild turkey gobblers at one abot.
Their aggregate weight was ninety-five
pounds.
Sixty-Seven per cent, of the deaths
at Memphis are from more or less pre
ventable diseases, such as consumption,
malarial and typhoid fevers, scarlet
fever and diarrheal diseases.
Eably amber sugar-cane will be
largely planted in Fayette County,
Texas, this year. A sugar factory is
being established at Lagrange, with a
capacity of sixty tons of cane per day.
The Missouri, Kansas and Pacific
Railroad, Texas Pacific Railroad and
Dallas and Wichita Railroad have agreed
to build a large union depot at Dallas,
Texas.
The wife of United States Senator
Wilkinson Call, of Florida, is the young
est of all the Senators’ wives, and is said
to be the most beautiful. 8he was a
Miss Simking, of South Carolina.
During the tornado |at Nashville on
Thursday the wind reached a velocity
of forty milea per hour. It blew steadily
from twenty to thirty miles an hour for
two hours and a half.
A recent ordinance of the city of
Charlotte, N. C., prohibits all work on
Snnday about freight offices, the shift
ing of freight trains and all other duties
of railroad employes except what are
connected with the regular passenger
trains.
Since NaehvlUe and Edgefield have
been annexed the next thing will be a
bridge for free travel between the two
places. The present suspension bridge
can probably be purchased, hut it has
been suggested that a new stone-arch
bridge be erected.
Near Charlotte, N. C., a negro girl
twelve years old fell down a mine^Tortr
feet deep, where she remained nine
hours without being discovered. She
was drawn up smiling, and has suffered
no illefieota from the ialloi
Nathan Cook, of Terrell County,
Ga., is 102 years old, and still earns his
daily bread. He has ten children, the
youngest of whom is forty years old.
He hae lived in the same yard that now
incloses his home ever since the Indian
war.
Tne Georgia Historical Society, with
its headquarters at Savanah. has nearlv
12,000 volumes in its library. During
the year 932 volumes and 228 pamphlets
have been* added. The income of the
society last year’was $3,183.71, which
was sufficient to defray all expenses.
Macon, Ga., Is infested with a swarm
of tramps who seem to be a regularly
organized band. They have attempted
to enter several houses by force, and on
Friday a lady was knocked down in ber
own house while trying to prevent
the entrance of some of these vaga
bonds.
The various manufacturing .estab
lishments in Columbus, Ga., gi?e em
ployment to 1,201 adult males, 1,100 fc-.
males aud 280 children—a total of
2,641 perrons. This is the number
steadily employed. In times of unusual
activity it is frequently doubled. The
ton conducted the past year at the ex
perimental farm in Athens, showing that
cotton seed or stable manure will furnish
all the ammonia needed In making com
posts on the farm.
The heavy rains among the monntains
of Tennessee did considerable damage to
the Cincinnati Southern Riilroad by
causing landslides. Hundreds of thou-
arads of dollars will be required after
this road ia turned over to the carrier
company for completion and mainten
ance, to pnt it in complete and perma
nent running condition.
The Lynchburg (Va.) Newt learns
from a reliable gentleman who has just
passed over the Huntington route from
BL Louts, that large numbers of negroes
are actually returning on foot, and that
the Chesapeake and Ohio road is lined
with them, making their way baok to
North Carolina. He remarked that they
were not bringing any of the fine farms
with them, nor half of the good clothes
they wore away.
ten years ago a large colony of Gei
mans from Cincinnati, none of whom
could speak English, purchased a trad
of land in Lawrence County, Tenn.,
said to contain 4,100 acres. It has since
been discovered that it contained onlv
2,067 acres, and they were defrauded cut
of $3,500, besides the interest on this
amount for ten years. The colony
haa brought suit in the Supreme Court
at Nashville for the recovery of this
sum.
The Commissioner of Agriculture has
received reports informing him of the
existence of asbestoa In several localities
of the State, and some specimens have
been sent to him. He tested them in
the fire and found that the fibres, even
when separated from eaoh other, wonld
stand a white heat He intends, as soon
as possible, to send ont an agent and
have the deposits inspected with a view
of ascertaining their .exaot quality and
their probable extent and value.—Col-
umbia (S. C.) Regilter.
Matt. Woodleif, the Texas des
perado, gambler and murderer, the
dread of Houston and South Texas, was
killed at Lake Charles, La., on Monday.
Many years "agp Woodlief shot and
killed a man in Col umbos, Texas, and
afterwaid became a desperate character.
In 1878 he attacked and fought a street
duel with Alexander Erickson, Chief of
Police at Houston, Texas. About ten
shots in all were fired with revolvers.
Both men were shot down on Main
street, and lay within a few yards o!
each other. Woodlief was shot in the
hip and his hip-bone was broken by a
ball, and Erickson was shot through the
thigh and the bone broken. Both re
covered, but were cripples. But few
regret Woodlief’s taking off, as he was
a terror in Texas, and, in fact, there is
rejoicing that he was killed.
A Pea Picture of De Lesseps.
ITrot Badri ]
The noble Viscount Ferdinand de
Lesseps was pouring his torrent of speech
straight at the head of Gen. Millen; it
continued for ten minutes, and when he
finally paused, not for breath, and not
evidently because his pond haa run out,
but probably to give nis tired arms a
rest after the violent and wild gesticu
lating exercise to which they had been
subjected, and when his features and
arms had finally lapsed from animated
galvanic convulsion back to comparative
calm, we had time to note that his eyea
\
J
L-.
A cannon was plaoed in front of the
Governor's residence in Cheyenne, M y-
oming, on February 16th. The A men- —*» . . . , *■ auuivuj i« »• iraiuvuuj wuunu.
can flag was displayed thereon; also two roen w "‘ 110 illness, population of Columbus la about 15,000.
placards, reading: “The Governor-1 meet with the entire approbation ^{1 At the State Agricultural Convention
be protected at all hazards.” “ }\ 0 f the circuit, cerdLt Cuthbert, Ga., Prof. Wm. M Browne*
must bo respected regttr.lk-a# Of , • ^ported experiments on corn and
a deep black. Considering that
the 75th year of t kis age. he may be set
down as a well-preserved man. He was
born at Versailles, France, Nov. 19,
1805. He has yet considerable vigor
and life left in^iim notwithstanding nis
old a e. His Virility may be judged
from the fact that Mme. de Le-seps, who
speaks very good English, boasts that
she was not married tod* Lewps until
he was sixty years old, and that she has
had seven children in eight years, of
whom two were twins. Mme. de Lesseps
is of Creole origin. She is the daughter
of M. de Bragasa, who was a judge
Mauritius, or, tho Isle of France,
English Island in the Indian Ocean,
whore she was born. She was 21 yenrs
old in 1869, when de Lesseps married
her an his return from Palestine. As I
saw her later at Panama and elsewhere
on the Isthmus, I should say she was,
when younger, a Creole beauty, of the
type of that race, with magnificent black
velvety eyea, which cons itute the
brightest feature of her face.
The New Kind of School.
The dicipline of the Quincy schools
of B iston astonishes the old-fashioned
teachers. While it was beingexplained
by one of the committee the other day,
an old teacher objected, ** but—this is
very noisy.” “ Precisely,madam;this is
a workshop, not a funeral. You can’t
have a beehive without r buzz.”
“ And.” continued the critic, “ that
little bov in the plaid jacket whispered
to tho little girl in white.” •' Quite
likely, madafiu we can readily find
excuse, for bnghF-cyed, curly-hcai
rosy-cheeked little boys will whisper l_
little girls in white. We once had a
tendency in that direction ourselves,
and we do not see any occasion for pound
ing him or shaking him, or standing
him in the corner, or putting him in a
dark closet, or even appearing to notice
it all.” Teachers make a grea‘ advance
in school government when they learn
how not to see.
Brussels carpet, silver-plated ice-
coolers, pnd rosewood desks are not
absolutely necessary for a ^Vestern
newspaper office. A seven-barreled
horso-piatol, a pot of paste, and a pair
of shears are all the furniture that is
really necessary to begin operations
with.
A good many people pretend to be
not what they will bo trumped up to be
at the lrfst
A Woman With Impulses.
|F*w York Trllmu..]
Rochester plumes itself upon “ a
woman with a history.” She was the
daughter of a wealthy grain speculator
of Toronto, from whom she received a
■mall fortune. Married to a young me
chanic in St. Catharines, she soon left
him, removing all the available funds
■he could carry away. At Buffalo,
whither she went, she is said to have led
a gay lile, and is said to have been mar
ried agAin in that city. She first went
to Rochester in 1864, engaged a suite of
rooms, and was seen u[*on the streets
daily. She had a carriage at her order
and had eervants to do her bidding.
From 1866 to 1869 she was absent from
the city, having squandered her money.
Hhe went to Cleveland where she en
joyed life as she had in Rochester. Her
carriage was at the door when she
wanted it; servants went and came, and
jewelry and fine dresses were abundant.
Pleasures failed at last, and false stim
ulant* were resorted to. She sought re
lief by taking opium. Returning to
Rochester she lived very quietly for a
time, but soon ascertained that she had
only to “touch the wire” and money
would come from Cleveland. She tele
graphed, and the old life of extra va-
ance was resumed. She would at times
•uy $100 or $200 worth of goods in a
day, only to give them away. At one
hotel she was noted for her liberality to
the servants, to whom she gave drosses
and jewelry without regard to their cost.
She is supposed to have spent about
$50,000 in a little over two years. The
end came at last, the Cleveland fund
falling. The hotel was left and poorer
quarters taken. Then she began buyiag
right aud left without paying for any
thing, and now she is in jail awaiting
trial. “Yes,” she says, “I have taken
opium for years. I use two ounoes a day
now, and have for some time. The doc
tors say it Is enough to kill me, but I
cannot stop it. I - went to the cure at
Dansville, where I tried to break the
habit by taking a smaller quantity, but
it was no nsc. The struggle was worse
than the effects of the upturn, and I left
the cure. I feel at times as if I must
follow every impulse, and I cannot resist
always.”
Kissing the Wrong Man,
Amusing scenes often ocour at railway
depots. The Rochester Chronicle tells^
the following as happening there:
The Erie depot was the scene of a ludi
crous mistake last night on the arrival
of the day express. Ay B
known-in society here, came from the
{ ilatform with bound. A benevolent
ookiog old gem
and snow-white side whiskers was stand
ing directly in front of the car evidently
watching for a friend. She dropped her
traveling bag and with more tnan the
usual demonstrations displayed on such
occasions, threw both arms about his
neck and imprinted several sounding
kisees npnn his face, at the same time
murmuring, “ Oh, papa7” The startled
old gentleman pushed her gently and
said in a smothered tone, “Some mis
take, some mistake.” She sprang back
like a frightened fawn, “ Oh, I thought
you were father. You’ll excuse me.
won’t you 7” “ Certainly,” said the old
boy smacking bis lips ana smiling, “ but
you—you nearly smothered me?’ She
afterwards fonnd her “ papa.” but the
previous effort had exhausted her and
she merely gave him a cold sort of a
meeting-house kiss.
“Playing *Roun'| ’Mong de Psalm.”
I Atlanta CnnotitutlM,.]
A well known Georgian, while trav
eling in Liberty County recently, met a
lame negro preacher in the road and|
stopped him for a little talk. ”
“Butler,” said the gentleman, “ I see
you have your Bible in your hand. Do
you preach to-day? ’
“Yesser.”
“ Well, what is your text 7”
“ Well, sab, I ain’t tuck no tex’ ez
yit”
“ Wbatl no text? Don’t you prepare
your sermons ?’’
“ No, sab, not zactly. ”
“ Why, Butler, I have never known a
preacher to deliver a sermon without
writing It or thinking it over. ”
“ Dat’s wrong sah. Dat ain’t ‘cordin’
ter de Scriptur. De Bible say, ‘Open
yo’ mouf cn I will fill um.’”
“ But then there are some mighty big
mouths. ”
“ Yesser, dat's so—dat’s so, sho. ”
“ Well, you haven’t prepared any ser
mon, and you haven’t taken any text.
What do you intend to do to-day?”
“ Well, sah, I jes specks terday fer ter
play ’roun’ ’mong de l’salms.”
Social Life la Washington.
Mary Clemmer sajrs that in no other
American city is visiting carried to such
an extent os in Washington. Every
indy “ In society ” has her day for re
ceiving calls, and the distribution of
cards is enormous. But calls may be
made extensively without invitation.
“ When strangers visits Washington,”
she adds, “ and take up their abode at a
hotel, they have only to discover the
days of public reception, hire a hack,
A Fuddled Elephant.
fNow Tork Sun.|
I saw little Betsv as drunk as a fid
dler one time, and she was a funny sight.
e showing late in the fall in
Indiana, in very severe weather. Some
keys, and birds, and snakes, had
ady frozen, and Betsy showed that
she waa suffering greatly from the cold.
Long John went to Manager Older and
said to him:
“‘You’d better get some whiskey for
Betsy, or she’ll freexe. ’
“ ‘How much V
“‘Her ears are just beginning to
freeze; get three buckets.”
“ W’ell, they knew that wa* two for
Betay, and one for Long John; but when
it came to elephants, he was the boas,
and the whiskey was got a* he ordered.
Only you should have seen the tavern-
keeper's eyes stand out when they or
dered three buckets of whiskey for two
drinks. Betsy drank all they gave her,
and got staving drunk. Bhe’a stagger,
and roll over, and pick herself up, and
piek Long John up and toss him on her
back, ana sort of laugh, and he’d laugh,
and it wm nip and tnck between them
which was the Irunker. Elephants are
very fond of whiskey, or any sort of
liquor, especially if it has lot* of red
pepper in it. ana they are not only fond
of getting drunk themselves, bat they
are very considerate of drunken men.
I never vet knew of an elephant hurting
a drunken man. That Long John, when
he was staggering drunk, wonld go right
up to Sultan or Canada, when nobody
else dared to go near them, and wouia
fool round them, and swing on their
tusks, and toss their trunks about, and
go to sleop right down by their feet, and
they would not only not do him any
harm, but wouldn’t let any body else go
near him until he chose to wake up.
And any real drunken man can do
pretty much wh&the plesses with an ele
phant.
The Price of Paper.
|F*«ria (Ili.) Journal.1
A singular circumstance connected
with it (Fort’s bill) is that many of the
eastern papers have ridiculed Mr. Fort’s
effort. This gives color to the suspicion
that the paper steal is a conspiracy be
tween the Eastern newspapers ^and the
paper mills, and that the rise fin paper
is intended to operate solely in the West.
Not a single eastern paper has pjrotonted
agajmt it, and theyiseem to be an-
affected by the irise.Western news
papers ought to recollect this and with
' I “ ‘
Col. Fort’s motion,
of newspapers., the West,” their
superior push mM enterprise, have had
a disastrous effect upon the Eastern
nresa. There was a time when the West
si
and proceed to visit. On Monday they
can go to the homes of the Judges of
the Supreme Court and other court*;
on Wednesday they can call on the
Cabinet ladies; on Thursday v’sit all
the Senatorial families; and on Satur
day go to the White House to see Mrs.
Hayes. In every drawing-room the visi
tors will find standing in its centre from
one to e dozen ladies, richly attired, re
ceiving all with politeness, few with
that gracious charm which makes the
loneliest stranger feel at home. This is
not strange. Those ladies are compelled
so constantly to greet so many whom
thoy do not know that the task becomes
not only monotonous, but Irksome.
These calls involve no pereoual recogni
tion. The lady who received you on
Wednesday in her own parlor, on 'niure-
day may meet you on the street without
a glance of recognition.
doubtful if they m
that number. The loss in other quarters
has been equally great. It is evident,
therefore, that the present rise in paper
is an effort made to so embarrass the
Western newspapers as to give theEastr
era newspapers another leare of^ife or
renewed patronage in the W«t9t„|lt re
mains to be seen whether thif precious
scheme wili win. If Western newspapers
are alive to their interest*, they will not
only snstnin Col. Fort in his action, but
will insist upon their members of Con
gress voting and working for the bill. If
this b? done, there will be no further
ro uble. «
Ho Practiced It Daily.
John Spitz was called upon to step
out of the prisoners’ room of the Police
Court, and when he had taken his place
before Judge Young, Prosecutor Lewis
proceeded to read the information
which charged him with insulting Mrs.
Moriartv. Mr. Lewis then asked the
prisoner whether he was guilty or not
guilty.
“No-n-no-not gU-gil-gilt-guilty, sir.”
“ You have an impediment in your
peech, John, haven’t you?”
“ No n no, sir,” replied John.
“Did you insult Mrs. Moriarty?”
questioned the Judge.
“ Mrs. Mo-mo-ri-rare more-rare,” and
then Christy, who was standing near,
jerked his arm, and he ejaculated
“ rarity? No, sir.”
“ How did you come to stutter this
way?” said Lewis.
I p-p-practiced it dail-dail-daily.”
His Ilonor then asked Mrs. MoriArty
what Spitz had said to her.
“ Shu re. he called me a wangdoodle,
yer Honor.”
“Why, madam, that’s impossible.
The man couldn’t stut-ut-stut-utteT
such a word. I’m obliged to dismiss the
case before I catch the complaint.”
The defendant undertook to thank
the court but the latter told him life
was short, and there wasn’t really time
to spare.
The Soko—Is He Man or Beast!
ri,..n4nn T*U*raph.|
The tribes of Central Africa, all
along the Livingstone River from Ny-
angwe^to the cataracts, declared the
Soko to be a monkey, and as such
hunted it and ate it. They hnnted and
ate men, too, it is true; but then they
distinguished the one from the other,
and never mistook men for monkeys.
Mr. Stanley, however, brought hftne
the skulls of two “ Sokos,” which had
been eaten by an affable chief with
whom he foregathered one day.
led Prof. Huxley at once pronounoea
them to be human. Was Africa in a
conspiracy to play off a practical joke
upon the explorer, or is European
science wrong in its differentiation of
mau and ape? The gorilla has long been
degraded to its proper rank, and the
“ mum ” of Sind turned out to be no
nearer a man than a bear. But C
tral America has cotne forward with
Susumeta, and so far as descriptions
. .pasmino smiles.
• #
“ Before the wwr “—courting.
Down in the mouth—bact teeth.
A misfitting coat is a lie out of the
whole cloth.
A petrified body indicates that the
man Is stone dead.
“ I think I'll take something,” as the
thief said when he mixed in the orowd.
The best place to have a boil—-in the
tea kettle. It is easily drawn.
A Miss-understanding — when a
young lady comprehends, of oouree.
“ I tumble to the wreck it,” as the
high wind said to the prairie nut.
Where there’s a will there’s a way;
and where there’s a won’t there’s a
woman behind it.
Problem in logic: If God made the
country and nun made the town, who
made New Jersey ?
Death may love a shining mark, but
the bald-headed live about as long as
anybody.
Brevity is the soul of wit, but it has
to be stretched out a good deal some
times to get enough for the uppers.
“ Death loves a shining mark,” which
is perhaps the reason why a dead mack
erel shines on a moonlight night.
A man once asked of Echo, “what
shall I do if my wife drinks liquor?”
and the unfeeling nymph answered—
“ lick her.”
An infamous old bachelor being asked
if he ever witnessed a public execution*
replied, “ No, but I once saw a mar
riage.'
“ Tennyson spends hours on a single
line.” And so, l>y the way, does tne
washerwoman. And the line of the lat
ter is the longest.
If a big head denotes ability, it ia an
interesting sight to chserre what A show
ing of ability thh» town puts forth every
Monday morning.
A witness in court was asked if a
party to tne suit was a truthful
man. “No;” he answered, “he’d rather
lie at sixty days than tell the truth fer
cosh.”
The plethoric paste pot of an editor
who clips more than he writes, is likehla
paper—seldom filled with live nut
ter.—Hackentack Republican. Experience
teacheth.
Great men do not consider them
selves above everybody else; 'tin those
ignorant little runts who wear standup
collars and sport canes, and who refuse
to pay their washing bills, that think
everyone beneath them.
No othor incident can call to a man’s
face such an idiotic expression of as
sumed unconsciousness as the accidental
fall of a bottle of whiskey from hla
pocket to the sidewalk on a Sunday af
ternoon.
Whs wouldn’t be a sailor? All you
have to do is yell “aye, aye, sir,” at the
top of your voice about once in ten min
utes. The rest of the time you can look
over the ship’s stern and watch the
sharks.
a aart**hanKing'c/i
thi a-llneln the IW
union, and he thought:
•• me ioikb aru out, the coaet Is clear,
I'll bag that Drintsela 111 cun."
He old, and making no delay,
Adown the alley, In the duek,
The carpet-bugger tramped away.
Leap year.—She—“Are you engaged
for the next German?” He(with eager
ness)—"No, I’m not.” She (with pit^—
“Oh. that’s too bad I Good evening. See
you later.”
The bar-keeper had made ready for
him, and when the man came in who
never paid for his drinks and called for
cacktail, the b. k. gently placed a
rooster’s feather in a class of water and
smiled a piratical smile that made his
faoe look like a dried prune.
Man wants but little ear, below, nor
want* that little long. Mao wants but
little ear bologna, wnuts that little long.
Man wants but little leer; wants but
litter hero below; wants but little Leah
below; wants but Little here below;
wants but little ear b’low, etc.
“John, what odor ia that? ” “Cloves*
love.” “ But that other ? ” “ Allspice,
iv beloved.” “But isn’t there another ?”
Yes, apples, belovedest.” “Just one
more?” “Raisins, mv mostbelovedest.”
Well, John, if you’a only drink just a
little br&ndv, now, I think you would
make a good mince pie.”
This being leap vear. a boarder at an
up-town amateur hotel thought it fine
fun to put a bent pin on each vacant
chair, until one agile feeder leaped up
four feet into the air and came down
with his great unwashed hand in the
only bowl of bash in the house. There
was a famine until supper time.
The dull-cytd donkey droop* lilt head,
Wrapped In hinuelf,
With patent nentpluully,
And meekly loDuws where tao’s led—
Tho cunning elf:
Rut, when hi* hccln licit In lo "lied,
Ills latent assiduity r
Asserts Itself.
—Jliieientack Republican.
Ib there any mail for me?” she said
to a handsome rke.
•‘ Certainly,” said he.
“ Where ?’ T said she. _
“ Here.” said he, with open arms. *’
“That’s my funeral,” sang the maid.
Friends are invited to attend without
further notice. So much for what the
maid made by getting tho male mail.
The better a man becomes, the
stronger does the hope of “ the glory of
going on ” take hold of his nature. The
instinctive expectation of life beyond
the grave strengthens with the increase
of virtue in the soul. The man who
lives best most keenly feels that life is
worth living, most resolutely turns
away from the thought of its extinc
tion.
Upon I
Jt that fi
“To be plane frith you,” said the car
penter, “I see no shaving in the scheme.”
“ You don’t ? ” ejaculated the»cooper,
“ why, it adze largely to my income.”
“Is that aw’ 7” added the shoemaker,
“ No,” answetbd a printer, “if he’ll stick
to it, hVil form an idea of what it is to
rule.'a “Pshaw,” exclaimed the bank
cashier, “these are only figures of speech:
we must protest against the thing.
“No,”said the untutored blacksmith.
“ I’ve blowed for him, an 1 he must anvil
accept the job.” “That settles it,” said
the coffee merchant, and the meeting
adjourned^
The Cora Beetle !r Russia.
If the accounts from c«l
southern Russia are to be bel
corn beetle, which may bej
first cousin to the
beetle,,
Y
0
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