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uatiotnel fraud.
Oich pitch—that the California
pine tr<*ee. ,
A woman stung he nearest ap-
A woman etung he
proach to perpetual ion,
You cau always te clerk in a dry
W. N. BENNS, JAMES D. RUSS, Editor*
“ LET THr.HE BE EIGHT.”
Subscription, $1.50 in Advance.
VOLUME IV.
BUTLER, GEORGIA, TUESDAY. MAY 4, 1880.
NUMBER 31.
TOPICS OF THE BAY.
Jay Gould’s income is now estimated
at |2,000 per day.
seen the birth and death of 125 daily
newspapers. Ilut three aro now in ex-
istance that were published in 1837.
Only nine counties in Texas are
without newspapers.
Business iu Chicago is reported to be
exceedingly active.
Gen. Garfield is President of
erary society in Washington.
An insect plague is prevailing in some
of the parishes of Louisiana.
Jay Gould now controls 8,168 miles
of railroad, and is reaching out for
more.
Euas, in Dead wood, on Easter Sun
day, the Pioneer says, sold for a dollar a
dozen.
Mu. Edison, it is reported, is going to
California to try a new process of ex
tracting gold.
Tite Court has decided that Mias
Jessie Raymond may keep her name be
fore the country.
Cincinnati recently held a Widows’
Home Fair, upon which it realized a net
profit of $25,000.
Minister Marsh lias' just completed
the nineteenth year of his diplomatic
service in Italy.
Mbs. Van Cott, the revivalist, is now
said to be manufacturing nnd selling a
patent medicine.
As high as fifty dollars were paid for
ticket* to hear Mr. Gladstone at Edin
burg the other day.
San Fra’ncisco has shipped 100,000
gallons of wine to’ Germany, the first
shipment of the kind ever made.
Judge Wrigiit, fined and imprisoned
for assaulting ex-secretary Delano, has
been pardoned by the President.
If we didn’t have any Government
officials in this country, we could save
$32,000,000 a year, besides the stealings.
The wheat crop on the highlands of
North Missouri looks very bad, and
many fields will bo. plowed up aud put
into corn.
Governor General Lorne’h salary
is $50,000, nnd this sum the members of
'The Canadian Parliament talk of reduc
ing to $32,000.
The Kentucky Legislature has re
duced the salaries of Judges of the Court
of Appeals to $4,000, and the Circuit
Judges to $2,400. *•'
Judging from the turn of things,
General Grant is to be known hereafter
ns the Duke of America, instead of by
his usual title.
A syndicate of New York and Lon
don speculators arc.QBgfuwd >in-getting
■p a“ corner” in opium, with a view to
putting up prices.
According to the report of Secretary
Sherman to Congress, the exports of
cattle for the last six years have aggre
gated in value $23,000,000.
Ma. James Fisk, of Brattleboro, Vt,
father of the late James Fisk, jr., in
tends toon to begin a tour through the
country with a tent and show.
It is stated that the Chicago dailies
have contracted for one hundred
loads of print paper from the mills at
Montreal, Canada. Herein “ protection”
is a failure.
Says the Cincinnati Gazette: “ The
guarantee funds for the approaching
May Festival and Industrial Exposition
are coming on handsomely. Cincinnati
has faith in those enterprises.”
After-the National Conventions have
been held it will be very intejpsting to
see what all the people who aro now
running themselves for President of the
United States will do for a living.
The Liberals in England have secured
a Dot gain of eighty one scats to date.
This indicates that they will have a clear
majority over Conservatives and Home
Rulers, a thing not hitherto counted
upon.
Joseph Widmer, seven feet tall, the
tallest man in Missouri, died the other
day. ~\yhile serving in the war, his
Colonel, noticing that he stood licud nnd
shoulders above all others, yelled out:
“ You rascal, get down from thatstump.”
Somebody should score one for Van
derbilt. During the contest a few days
since in New York for the O’Leary belt,
Mr. Vanderbilt quietly slipped a $500
bill into the hand of Hart, the negro boy
pedestrian. The boy quietly submitted.
No member of the English Cabinet
possesses an acre of Irish property, un
less, indeed, Lord Cairns (whoso
father lives near Belfast) muy have a
few acres; but he never lives there.
Scotland is represented by the Duke of
Richmond aud Gordon.
We quote from the Philadelphia
Chronicle-Herald: If some one would
successfully start the report that ice
cream spoiled the complexion nnd made
women bow-legged it would be thousands
of dollars in the pockets of our poor but
love-stricken young men.
The proposition is advanced that the
outrage upon Cadet Whittaker, at West
Point, was perpetrated by himself in
order that he might escapo coming ex
aminations. Whittaker, however, has
demanded a Court of Inquiry, and an
investigation is in progress.
Since the Ohio Legislature met over
fifty bills have been introdneed authoriz
ing townships to build railroads, the ag
gregate oxpense of which, if the object
in each instance be accomplished, will
reach fully $3,000,000. This is a con
siderable amount to be distributed as d
township debt over the State.
W. J. Shaw, the newspaper corres
pondent, is domiciled for a time in
Canada where he is completing a novel
based on fact, that has Tom Buford, the
judge killer, for a central character. It
is expected to satirise the practical work
ing of our judicial system, and will be
entitled “The Gentlemen of Adair; 'or,,
the Science of Delay.”
Woman suffrage seems to have en
countered some drawbacks iu Mass
achusetts. Ten years ago there were
lixty-eiglit members of the Lower House
n favor of woman suffrage, and last
year the number had grown to eighty-
two, but now it is down again to about
sixty. The movement seems to be doing
as well as could be expected, however,
other parts of the country.
Thf.ke are cowsheds in the most
densely populated portions of London,
where year in and year out the poor
beasts never see the sun, and never taste
of green grass. Now some benevolent
persons are talking of holidays in the
country for cows. Farmers could tell
them that a day in a good pasture,
would, if it did not make the cows se
riously sick, throw them “ off their
feed ” for days.
Some months since an order was issued
forbidding the presence of regular news
paper correspondents with the English
army in Afghanistan, and directing that
information for the press should be sup
plied by staff officers. And now the
Duicc of Cambridge has ordered that
army officers cannot be permitted to
write for the newspapers. His Grace
has not the remotes idea of gagging the
press—oh, dear no!
At last Charles Bradlaugh has suc
ceeded in his desire to enter the British
Parliament. Defeated over nnd over
again, he has renewed the contest at
every opportunity. He makes no con
cealment of his animosity against the
existing form of government in Great
Britain, and of his desire to establish in
its place a Republic, of which he
fesses he believes it is not improbable
he may be the head.
The English historian Froude, in his
recent life of Bunyan, shows that his
prison life was an easy ono and that the
restraint was merely a nominal one,
which one word from Bunyan could have
ended.
CONGRESSMAN R. W. TOWNSEND, of
Illinois, the champion of cheap paper,
cheap books, and untaxed education,
was a page on the floor of the House of
Representatives during the sessions of
1866-67 and 1857-58.
. been
Another cotton factory, baa
established in South Uttolina. The
Four dime-novel heroes, all uuder
twelve years of age, started from Bene
dict farms, Connecticut, on a campaign,
armed with a revolver and a butcher-
knife. In the outskirts of'Westport
they built a but, and set out on a forag
ing expedition. An old hen was suc
cessfully chased, but unluekjly the
owner popneed upon the boys, had them
arreat/cdjihnd they Were fined each $7
and costa, which their parents paid.
Put .
the Brakes.
There is an impreation among in Air
shrewd thinkers, writes Iho New Yorl
correspondent of the Buffalo Cornier,
that we are reviving t ) fast. The spirit
of speculation has broken out ngain aud
the mania for “rushing things” seems
to be nearly as active as it was before
the big t mash of nearly seven years ago.
Our imports have lately been goiug up
with a rush, and threatening to wipe out
the big balano of trade that was sup
posed to have done ho much toward
bringing back better times. Foreign
luxuries aro again pouriug in by the
shipload, and the dealers in such things
find a rapidly increasing demand for
them, not nlone in New York, but from
customers all over the country as well.
The IcsHon of hard times—or rather of
the result of extravagance and specu
lative trading—seems almost forgotten
already. Wall street lias been as wild
during the past year as it was any time
•revious to the Jay Cooke crash, which
;nocked the bottom out of everything
months will \>e the wildest i. ....
known. The enormous influx of for
eign capital or its equivalent last year
and the year before, under the name of
balance of trade, had much to do with
the revival of speculation in Wall street
and elsewhere And the general advance
id prices which became “noticeable last
fall and has been going on steadily ever
since. While the balance was largely
our favor we beard a great deal
about it, but now tlmt the scales are
turning the other way no one has a
word to say. We hear of nothing but
better times, though this very rush to
ward better times may really be worse
for all of us than the quiet of a few
years ago. But a sermon on the sub
ject would not do a bit of good. When
a spirited horse takes the bit between
his teeth and starts for a good run the
chances are that he will have his own
way about it, even at the risk of break
ing his own neck. It is to bo hoped
that he won’t break the neck of better
times by rushing ahead too fast.
The New Home of Adolph Sutro.
Adolph Sutro, who, since its incep
tion, has been the life of the Sutro Tun
nel, is at present living with his family
in elegant style at his new home on the
northwest corner of Hayes and Fillmore
streets, San Francisco. The residence
is described by a writer in the Sutro In
dependent as being one of the most gor
geous iu San Francisco, and is furnished
without consideration of expense. Mr.
Sutro is a great lover of the beautiful
in art, and while his home is supplied
with an immense library purchased re
cently in New York, and with other of
the stabler commodities, it is, in the
way of its art contents, a perfect won
der. Among his collections are paint
ings, large and small, by old masters;
-•aintings by artists who have but one
•articular style, and that to perfection;
eautiful landscapes, Among all of
which can be seen now and then a pro
duction of his daughter, Miss Katie,
who has becomo an adept in the aecom-
pliahmcnt. Among his articles of stat
uary is one of “The Amazon,” purchased
recently by him in Europe aud valued
at $5,000.
Iu last week’s Independent a denial of
Mr. Sutro’s having purchOld a place
• ka Umlunn Diva. V i > nr Vj
the Hudson River, New York, was made.
The informant was mistaken. Mr. Sutro
has purchased one of the finest places on
that romantic stream, the eame to bn the
home of his aged mother for the remain
der of her days. It is opposite the Pali
sades, and is said to present a charm
ingly beautiful view.
How They Undress Before tho (Jncen,
Lady Lonsdale was universally ac
knowledged ns,the beauty of both draw
ing-rooms. Ladies were not less decolle.tee
at this second drawing-room than at the
first. One, in pressing forward, posi-
of her dress, and had to be shroudei
shawls. Ivord Beaconsfield, who seemed
in high spirits, appeared this time in a
ITEMS OP INTEREST.
The annual interests of the public
debt of Pennsylvania amounts to $1,-
200,004.
The collection of Chinese works in
the British Museum includes 20,000
volumes.
It is estimated that the money paid
for Texas cattle during the past five
years amounts to $180,000,000.
Andrew Stetson, of Duxbury.
Mass., is ninety-two years old, and
steadily works at shoemakiug in the shop
he has occupied for seventy years.
Londoners who, six years ago, looked
upon ice wateras an unhealthy beverage,
and stared when Americans ordered it,
now find it indispensable.
The report of the librarian of Con
gress for last year shows thut in 1870
only 6.600 copy-rights were issued in the
United States, while in 1879 over 18,000
were issued.
The Paterson Mills of New Jersey
raploy.ten thousand hands, besides
about three thousand who work at their
own homes. The annual production of
these mills reaches the total of $14,000,-
000.
Princeton College is to have a new
telescope, costing $25,000. The money
to purchase the instrument has been
subscribed by the friends of the college.
Robert Bonner heading the list with
$10,000.
Nearly 1,000,000 cwt. of palm oil.
valued at $7,600,000, is yearly exported
from the west coast of Africa to England.
It is chiefly used in caudle-making aud
soap manufacture.
The rolling stock of the Lehigh Val
ley Railroad consists of 237 engines, 71
passenger cars, 36 baggage and express
ears, 84,461 coal cars, 1,098 eight-wheel
house cars, 1,349 stock, platform and
other cars.
The North German Gazette says that
the French papers, which have said so
much about the increase of the German
army, ignore the fact that while in 1870
the French army estimates barely
reached $100,000,000, they are now
nearly double that sum.
The school population of Virginia
numbers 480,000, about three-ten tbs
being colored. The enrollment in the
00,000, one-third of this number being
colored. Male teachers get an average
montnly salary of $89; female teachers
receive $24 75.
The Empress of Austria has a passion
for dogs as well as horses, and has them
of all the rarest breeds. They say some
of her pet dogs sleep in heT bed-room,
and [dates are arranged near the walls
with the favorite food of each. One of
her favorites and a tali negro footman
always accompany her in her daily
walks.
Over fifty patents have been granted
foi different kinds of cow-milkers, thir-.
teen in England and forty in America.
These machines have been divided into
three classes: First, tube-milkers; sec
ond, sucking machines; third, mechan
ical hand-milkers. The first are tap
pers, the second suckers, and the third
tqueezers and strippers. Borne devices
are formed cf combinations of these
classes.
Pennsylvania has an elaborate case
of witchcraft. A girl named Kildey,
living in Btony Greek Valley, near Har
risburg, claims that a woman named
Boyer has bewitched her, and that she
(Kildey) is possessed of a devil, which
is more than probable. Hundreds of
people are said to believe firmly in Mrs.
Boyer’s accomplishments as a witch,
and the whole valley seems to be in a
tumult over the matter.
The European life insurance compan
ies charge ten per cent, extra premium
on crowned heads, to cover the risk of
assassination, and M. llouher, who acts
diplomatic uniform.
One poor lady was dreadfully ill be
fore every one, and another malheureuee
found her gown coming undone, and,
while she couriered to the Queen, the
ushers and men standing about had fear
ful revelations.
As I was walking along St. James
street on the morning of the drawing
room, I observed a crowd surrounding a
brougham. In it was seated a lady
alone. Never have I, in civilized society
and in daylight, seen a lady with so
small an amount of clothing. Surely
she might have covered her nakedness
with a shawl. The common people, who
do not penetrate within the charmed
portals of St. James Palace, stared at
her in astonishment, and one somewhat
dingy looking individual suggested that
she ought to be suppressed as a “ vice.’
How a Married Woman Goes to Bleep.
There is an article going the rounds
entitled, “How Girls Go to Sleep.”
The manner in which they go to sleep,
according to the article, can’t hold a
candle to the way a married woman
goes to sleep. Instead of thinking of
what she should have attended to before
iTe she is revolving these matters in
bed, the old man is scratching his legs
in front of tho fire, and wondering how
he will pay the next month’s rent. Sud
denly ebe says
“James, did you lock the door?”
1 Which door?”
“ The cellar door,” says she.
“ No,” says James.
it, for I heard some one in the back
yard last night.”
stairs and locks the door. About the
time James returns and is going to get
into bed she remarks:
Did you shut the stair door?”
No, says James.
Well, if it is not shut the cat will
get up into the bed-room.”
"Let her come up. then,” says James,
she’
[y goodness, no!” returns the wife,
d Buck the baby’s breath!”
Then James paddles down stairs
again, and steps on a tack, and closes
the stair door, and curses the cat ; and
returns to the bed-room. Just as he
begins to climb into his couch his wife
observes:
Suppose you bring some in the big tin.”
And so James, with a muttered curse,
goes down into the dark kitchen, and
falls over a chair, and rasps all the tin
ware off the wall, in search of the
“ big ” tin, and then he jerks the stair
door open and howls:
“ Where the deuce are the matches?”
She gives him minute directions where
to find the matches, and adds that she
would rather go and get the water her
self than have the neighborhood raised
about it. After which James finds the
stairs, and plunges into bed. Presently
his wife says:
about money matters. Now, next ?
I’ve got to pay”—
t know what you’ve got to pay,
1 don'
and I don’t care,” shouts James, m he
lurches around and jams his face against
the frail; “all^wpnt is to go to sleep.”
“ That’s all lily well for you,” snaps
his wife, as she pulls the oovers vicious-
„ I have. And there’s Ar&menta,
who I believe is taking the measles.”
“ Let her take’em,” says James, stick
ing his legs out as straight as two ram-
“ It seems to me you have no sense o
feeling,” whineH his
wife, “and if you
nad any respect for me you wouldn’t eat
onions before you come to bed. The
atmosphere of the room from the smell
of onions is horrid. 1
“ Well, go down and sleep in the
kitchen, then, and let me alone,” says
James.
ng into a
gentle doze she punches him in the ribs
with her elbow, and says:
“ Did you hear that scandal about
Mr*. Jones?”
“ What Jones?” says James, sleepily.
“Why, Mrs. Jones.
“ Where?*' inquires James.
“ I declare,” says his wife, “ you arc
getting more stupid every day.^ You
Jones that lives at No. 21
Well, day before yesterday, Busan
Smith toll Mrs. Thompson that Sam
Baker had «aid that Mrs. Jones had”—
Here she pauses and listens. James
is snoring in profound slumber. With
Fou'het/i «« MpSHt w«king op
to the wet th^ fl,ey can save enormous
sums of money hy doing their mannfao*
turing for them^ives.
Eraktuh Bi
Express, says tbj
nalistic expei
8, of the New York
/orty yean of jour-
in that city, he has
There seems to be good evidence that
some newspaper men who have received
passes from railroad companies have
sold them to scalpere'or given them to
unauthorized persons to use, while others
have procured free transportation by
false pretenses. To check this the
Western Association, covering all the
territory west of Buffalo, Pittsburg
and Wheeling, have instituted a black
list, on which is entered the names of
ail persons guilty of the above men
tioned bad faith, and those thus regis
tered will be deniedlree transportation on
any of the many roads included in the
Association. The transfer of Any'pass,
trip or season, issued to any one by
name is held to be “guilty of a crime
that can not be overlooked by any rail
road nun or company.”
No More Arsenic In His.
An Oil City man took home some ar
senic the other day for rats. He opened
the package on the table where he snt
down, and played in the white stuff with
hiB fingers until his wife came down.
Then with u sad expression he said:
“Dearest, I’ve got tired of living and
have taken some of this arsenic, and-*”
But his wife darted out so suddenly and
screamed so loudly that he didn’t finish
the sentence. Her fright caused him so
much merriment that when the neigh
bors, whom his wife called, came in he
was nearly doubled up with laughter.
The next moment they seized him, threw
him on the lounge ant tried to force a
couple 6f raw eggs down his throat. He
spit them out and attempted to explain,
bat a six-foot neighbor sat down on his
stomach and grabbed the man’s nostrils
between his fingers and before they let
him up they had made him swallow
half-a-dozen raw eggs, a pint of whisky
a quart of soap-suds and a half-a-dozen
other remedies. They poured so much
stuff down his throat in five minutes
that it took him half a day to throw
it up, and he came out of the struggle
so hollow that when his wife slapped
him on the back it sounded like a bass
drum.
applied to the French companies, who
carry heavy risks on her life, for the re
mission of this extra charge, on the
ground that Bhe is out of the range
of king-killers.
Mr. McKellerowhs the actual Cape
of Good Hope and much land adjoining,
whereon he has a lartre ostrich farm.
A kick from an ostrich is well known to
be very dangerous. Mr. McKellar said
that the only thing to do when attacked
without means of aefenso was to lie flat
down and let the bird walk on you un
til he is tired. The busines is profitable.
From ten pairs of full grown birds,
which one man may look after, an
income of $10,000 or $16,000 may be
reckoned on.
At a recent meeting of the Southern
Historical Society, in Louisiana, an
apron made in the semblance of a Con
federate flag was shown, and its history
told. In the spring of 1863 the 11th
Virginia Cavalry passed Hagerstown,
wearied, discouraged, aud pursued by
Federal troops. A young girl stood in
the doorway, wearing this apron. The
soldiers cheered enthusiastically, aud
the Colonel asked her to give him a
■ iece of it for a memento. “ You may
ave it ail,” she said, and it was carried
with the regimental colors into a battle
the following day. The youthful sol
dier who wore it was mortally wounded,
but ho Baved the apron irom capture by
biding it in his bosom.
him, wraps hersel
awake until 2 a. m., thinking bow bad
ly abused she is. Aud that is the way
a married woman goes to sleep.
A Letter Without an Owner.
[Por
(Me.) Argua.l
dressed "to the Handsomest Yohnj
Lady at Rockland, Maine,” was receive.
at the postoffice in the latter city last
week. After a consultation between the
chief of the office and his subordinates,
the former official ordered the missive to
be displayed through the glass window,
that some maiden with confidence in her
Bkogars description—the story of a
tnunp.
Why is a Zulu belle like & prophet of
old ? Because she has not much on’az*
in her own country.
A Touching Story.
[Cincl
A touching story of self-denial and
heroism on the part of a little child was
revealed yesterday to the officers of
Hammond-street Station. About 7
o’clock in the morning the mother of
Mamie Fahey, a girl seven years of age,
The Novelist Hardy and America.
A London letter to the Philadelphia
Press says: Thomas Hardy, author of
“A Pair of Blue Eyes,” “ Far from the
Madding Crow-I,” etc., etc., is a native
English novelist, whose works have a
wider reading in our own land than his
own, and who would probably receive
more personal attention among us than
he does in England. When I spoke to
him of his wide fame and innumerable
readers across the Atlantic I found he
knew all about it, nnd only wished lie
had even a very minute royalty from
all the American editions of the novels.
If I mistake not, I have seen them in
some of the cheap ten-cent circulating
periodicals of the West. I urged him
to consider the glory of a fame which
extended over prairies, and wigwams,
and log cabins, untarnished by the touch
of lucre; but these modern authors are
intensely practical, and he said, un-
blushingly, he preferred shillings.
Mr. Hardy is a young man of thirty-
three or thirty-six, who started life in
an engineer’s office, but, as Sir Walter
Scott abandoned the law, so Hardy left
surveying and conveyancing for some
thing more genial. His plots and char
acters, however, often, by force of asso
ciation, turn on engineering, where his
He is a man of unassuming manners,
and extremely laborious and consci
entious in working out the details of
his work. My attention was first direct
ed to him before I had ever met or
seen him, by hearing a gentleman at
tempting to settle, with the aid of a
knot of Friends, what was the wine or
drink at a dinner of a well-to-do English
merchant in the sixteenth century. It
was Hardy foraging for a new novel.
Mr. Hardy writes specially of the life
of the middle and lower middle classes
England, drawing his ecenes
and characters mainly from them,
it is this fact which gives him
his hold on the general Amercan
public, who readily recognize and
aDpreciate the picturing of a life that
comes most neatly to their own. As a
sympathetic pAinter of English village
and rural life, he has few, if any, equals
..OQ\
among contemporary English novel 1
Iu conversation Mr. Hardy expressed
much modest gratification at the-popu-
cherishes a strong hope seme day
to oomeand see us. I hope it will be
soon.
Boys Smoking.
When boys are advised not to smoke
on hygienie grounds, they laugh at the
advice, and speak of its (rivers as old
fogies. But careful experiments, lately
made by a physician of repute, prove
took for his purpose
from nine to nfteen, who had bren iu t
habit of smoking, and examined them
closely. In twenty-seven he found ob
vious hurtful effects; twenty-two having
various disorders of the circulation and
digestion, palpitation of the heart, and
more or less craviug for strong drink;
twelve of the boys were frequently
troubled with bleeding at the nose: ten
had disturbed sleep; twelve had slight
ulceration o! the mucous membrane of
the mouth, which disappeared after dis
continuation of tobacco for ten oi
twelve days. The physician treated
them all for weakness and nervousness,
though with little avail, until they had
relinquished smoking, when health and
strength was speedily restored. Even if
it be granted that smoking is not harm 1
ful to adults, there is no doubt of its
harmfulness to the young. Dr. Rank
ing, Dr. Richardson, and others, who
have made a special study of the sub
ject, all agree in declaring that it causes
in them impairment of growth, prema
ture virility, and physical degradation.
One of the’worst qttects is the provoca
tion of an appetite for liquor, which, in
deed, is not confined to the young, but
which grown persons are better able to
manage. Where boys drink to excess,
they are almost invariably smokers, nnd
it ib very rare to find a man over fond of
spirits who is not adicted to tobacco.
Men who want to give up drinking
usually have to give up smoking at the
same time; for they say that a cigar
prietor by the goodithes the clerk
wears.
“AA,” he groane’ never tell me
afcain about the ‘wide smite’ being a
■mall affair. I’d rat be kicked by a
hippopotamus!”— Vcood Pioneer.
M. MEiseoNncm, the it French artist,
“paint* very slowly.The same may
the day, but this
great artist.
The ire and peaohops are ruined
yearly, a.) mg with diaampagne crop,
and it seems to Ideally doubtful
whether we ever *ee nuine ice and
peaches inihis couqti
The following apir* in the Alla
habad Pioneer: “wj.-d, a situation
as a snake charmer In Herious family.
N. B.—No objection i look after a
camel.” /
As you travel aroin.he country you
are more and more messed with the
conviction that theplf end of man is
to paint patent mdiae signs on the
fences.—Burlington ffrkcye.
Wealthy cad-J‘Iok here—bring
me some dinner, 4 loan. The best
alraur—“ Dinner o
you’ve got.” Restai
la carte, Ai’sieu?| Jad—“Cart be
hanged 1 Dinner a (erarriage 1”
Who wouldn’t b| aoy? Think of
the fun boys havej A responsibility.
Clothed, led and hosed without a
thought or a care slot it. Aud yet a
boy is never contend,nd we wouldn’t
give a fly for him iCheras.
A yocno man ii A.ryland started
out with horse nnd km and battle-ax
to champion damilzn distress. He
had not gone five mill when a red
headed school ma’ati pled him off his
steed and rolled himliahe mud.
Professor—“ WbicV.s the more del
icate of the sense?” 1 fcvhomore—“The
touch.” Professor—*‘P.ve it.’’ Sopho
more—“When you stt i a tack. You
can’t hear it; you can’tee it; you can’t
taste it; you can’t svll it; but it’s
there.”
On the planet Jupir one year is
nearly as long as tweh of our years.
By the amount of timsome people in
this world take on theirromisfcorv note* 1 ,
it is evident that theytabor uuder the
delusion that they ar inhabitants of
Jupiter.
Certain of our exunges advocate
the leaving off what ey call super
fluous titles, as “Mr and “ Esq.”
Why, brethren, this wi work great in
jury—to a certain els. Take away
what is superfluous al there will be
nothing left.
"ITuar are likes trmTlc nld; —.
Th« maldtn T*wn«l i. coold not $«1U, ^
Became jrou ru jfoo’d and iiti£dntt(rcd,
The r<ni*is wan tbougit h« did it weft.
*' uuw mart 1 nnd why ira you a tree
That’s dead-’tU caayrmi peraeUe;”
He me it up*, tfcea ana-crei nhe
" Beeansp, young man you uever leare."
After the jury had >een out all day,
the judge very properl)sent theiu fc word,
saying, “ Air. Foreman it is true I gave
yo’u the case, but I did-’t intend you to
keep it forever. If it i all the same to
you, you will return i when yon get
through with it.”
“The smooth places made rough,”
said Air. Himkins, as lo sat down sud
denly at the suggestioi of a slid ding
place on Alain street. And tue rough
places made smooth,” continued the
sage, as he considered the journey of
life. Then he bmiled aid was glad he
fell down.
AIrh. Sachet, of Dowisville, Delaware
County, aiummed her door to atid a gun
standing behind it fell to the floor, dia-
charging its contents into her leg, and
making a wound wb ch necessitated
amputation. Aloral: Always shut a
door softly, ns though t iere whi sickness
in the family.
“ AIy friends,” said the political
speaker, with the hurst oi ingenuous
eloquence, “ I will be barest—” There
were a large number f neighbor! pres
ent, aud the terrific outburst of applause
which followed this remark entirely up
set the point which the orator was about
to introduce. |
A countryman, affer intently watch
ing a sign in u boot and shoe sto^p in thia
city the other day, which ren(i“ Find
ings,” stepped in and told th^*proprie-
tor he lmd loajt n hr in die ffeiler last
week, and he would like to know what
they would charge to huut her up?
“ It doesn’t improve vegetable# to
soak them in water,” says an exchange,
and the New York Express adds that “it
does improve a man.” Well, yes; tome
men. We once saw a man who had
been soaked in water two weeks. He
was dead, but he was improved. He
could no longer c'une home drunk and
abuse his wife and children.
Hearing that hoops are coming in
style again a Steubenville girl visited
Wellsburg the other day to have a pair
built around the half-mile race track on
the fair grounds. She wanted to get a
set that would hide a portion of her feet.
If it wasn’t for Steubenville girls half
the tanneries this side of civilization
would have to hang up their shutters.—
Wheeling Leader.
“ It was years ago, my children,” said
a silver-haired old man to his grandsons
some time along in 1968, “ when an In
dian out iu Colorado met the United
States army, and in the pitiless pride of
his own superior strength, reached out
and scalped both of him.” And then
the old man went on to explain how for
□early seven years preceding that sad
occurrence, Congress had b:en support
ing the army at a total expapse of $1.76
a year for the soldiers and $666,000 a
week for tho contractors.—BuningUm
Hawkey e.
liquor very hard to control.
a desire for
The Story of a Brink.
charms might step up and boldly demand
her property. The Courier, which is
one of the brightest little papers in
Maine, by the way, says “crowds of
women have looked at that envelope,
but none has dared called for it. Maiden
ladies in false teeth and falser hair have
stood and gazed at the magic direction,
and then walked meditatively up and
down the corridors, endeavoring to
Fully
muster up courage to face the awl
penetrating eye of the man at the de
livery window. Handsome young women
with rosy cheeks and laughing eyes
have seen it and speculated as to why it
was not given to them without further
delay. Young men with girls have
step up and ask for what is clearly their
own. The amount of trouble and worry
which that little envelope has created
in our city is simply incalculable. And
meantime the letter tanta'izingly hangs
in the window, while the Cerberus at the
delivery window awaits with uneasiness
and impatience the dreadful moment
when some woman shall demand the
troublesome document, and be shall be
forced to compel her to show cause, if
any, why he should consider her the
party named in the Writ.”
Rather 81iin.
At the matinee a long, gaunt in
dividual, with legs as thin as whittled
matches, came into the theater and stood
in front of some gentlemen, shutting out
their view of the stage. One of the
living at 808 feast Pearl strtet, went to
market, locking in the room Aiamie and
her baby sister, us is the necessity of
poor women who have no means to pay
for watching their children. The little
child found some loose matches, and in
playing with them set firo to her dress.
The flames burnt off her clothes, and her
body, from the feet to the neck to a
crisp; and then having accomplished
ibis cruel work, died out. When the _ ......
mother returned at 8 o’clock the child another, and the thin man began to move
was still alive, and able to speak. The aside.
mother asked her why she did not cry “ Next to boarding-bouae soup it’s the
for help. The little one answered, “ I thineet thing I’ve set,n,” said a third
was afraid of wakiog the baby.” In a | party, and the slim man got uneasy and
sat down.
party said: “ If you guess what that is
Defore us, I’ll put a label on it.” “ It’s
a plumb-line somebody has dropped
down from the family circle,” remarked
few moments she was dead.
During the war our townsman, James
P. Aloore, on one occasion weut out in
front of our lines to give some water
to a wounded Yankee, who was lying in
forces and from which they had recently
been driven. The mun was crying pite
ously for wRter, and the bullets were
rattling around from both armies.
Moore said he intended to risk the ex
posure to do the deed of mercy and
went out to him. It proved to be a
captain of a Pennsylvania regiment,
who was profuse with thunks and of
fered Moore his gold watch, which the
f allant confederate declined. He
or his name, that he might, if bo sur
vived the war, remember him. This
he wrotedown in his memorandum book.
The captain recently wrote here to know
if Moore was living; said he was rich, but
dying of consumption, and doslred to
provide for him in his will. Air. Moore
wrote to him and received a friendly
letter in reply, telling him that there
was $10,000 set apart for his use, to be
paid in installments of $2,000
The Federal officer has since diet
the other day the payment of $!
A
\
A Trlek Well
A St. Louis railroad conductors was
asked by two men known to him as
gamblers to cash two $1,000 Hi -
States bonds. The conductor toon
bonds across the way to a broker,]
even a cup of col
spirit.”
}
L
Eureka district was discovered in
1865. It was as good as abandoned
1869. Now it is the great mining cente;
of Eastern Nevada, producing annually
millions of dollars, aod supporting a
population variously estimated at irom
6,000 to 8,000.
A familiar instance of color-blind
ness is that of a man taking a brown
silk umbrella and leaving a green
ham in its place.
Last year twelve persons in
United States and Europe gave an «j
gate of $8,000,000 to the cause o r '
missions.