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ONCE AND AGAIN.
I saw two children intertwine
Their arms about each other,
Like the little tendrils of a vine
About fts nearest brother;
And ever and anon,
As gayly they ran on,
Each looked into the other’s face,
Anticipating an embrace.
I marked those two when they were men:
I watched them meet one day;
They touched each other's hands, and then
Each went on his own way.
There did not seem a tio
Of love, tho lightest chain,
To make them turn a lingering eye,
Or press the hand again.
A STITCH IN TIME.
BY 11C11,11 A. COPKI.AN D.
It started with the black and white
exhibition last year. 1 was going through slopped
with my Uncle Mark, and wc
In front of a picture labeled “ 1 he
Chemist,” and I asked uncle what he
thought of it. I had been working down
nt the School of Mines myself for about the
past month, hut had said nothing
tt to Cncle Mark.
“I hate the sight- of all of them.
cried flic old gentleman, irascibly. “Since
my aunt doped apothecary's with a young clerk, whipper- thirty
snapper of an
years ago, and brought disgrace destroy to our
family, 1 feel my Augers itch to
alt their drugs and v.lainous compounds
I heard you talking last summer about
taking up something of th«>kmd Mark
and if you had, you < than i.ivc > will *
drfllars . be
thousand poorer you
now. I d not have h you c , *
not a penny, sir. m I' v ’ 11 -
always been gentlemen, and 1 should be
sorh, sir, to see one of them become a
syruo-mixer. uncle, there great . deal . , of ,
“But, chemist ui a and drug
difference between a a
store clerk. Every great scientific man
m ist understand chemistry, ami even
“ I Wt you tell me, sir. I know ’em
all, sir. these chemists are all alike,
T “why •We.?,” didn I t replied, you say meekly something giving U> me in
about it at the time. i hen fearfu
lest ho might find menu, »' < •
might have gone on and become 'hem
ist for all you said nuout it then
“ I don’t want to influence you Mark.
Y on can go ami do as you p ease or any
thing 1 shall say. I have no authority
over you, and dm. t want any. Only I
dull, t intend to leave my money to any
apothecary, This pleasant, sir. the least!
was to say
firmly resolved to leave U.e school of
mines KiHtantcr. J had taken it upon
.lie sly, intending to surprise my friends
by jlio discovery of a new metal or some
such exploit. 1 always washed my hands
in weak acid before leaving thelabora
tory, ami changed u y clothes and had
hitherto gone on undetected. Ho 1 fell
slmlfgo "“yOu way business' I'uele," 1 fan sai.l, “I think
I info you lecom
mend me to any one of your business ac
quaiutanccs? 1 shou d like to commence
** Uncle Mark Tookcd very much pleased.
“ That’s right, in*
1 II ace w ust ’ 11 ° I ■
while, 1 see would 1 *'«’l v * ,r K _ 1
there and 1 bo cruel to keep you
away from her any longer, dine with so au .cvo this r
Mark. Come and uu
evening," and the kind old gentleman
slippcd off in a moment. .
Miss Met <regors 1 - v S1 ," sue !\ ‘o, . s
standing there looking at 1 he them- .
11 *
“ Well, Miss Flora," i said, “ wlrat do
you think orf it?"
Hho turned quickly and stretched out
her hand.
“ Good-morning, Mr. Hepworth,” sho
cried, You smiting. all startled?” 1 said,
“ were not at
holding her hand such a svroot little
hand, that it waa a positive pain to lot it
( i Mid yet you aid not hear mo come
up?" ‘“No,” said she, letting her hand still
lie in mine; “but it seemed so natural
to have you standing there.” and then
she suddenly blushed, and drew her
hand out of uiv vigorous grasp. “ That
is," she added, “ 1 mean tU&t that l
him was growiug rosily red, so 1 came
to Her rescue
“ You mean, Misi Flora,” l said, with
a 'tint attempt at jocoseness, “ that 1
have inflicted myself on you so much
lfttely that you have come to look on me
ns an inevitable, although tiresome have in
culms. Well, 1 admit that 1
hauuted jour steps very much lately,
ami if it annoys you, you must semi me
paeking. I don't wonder that you be
come awfully bored.”
“ 1 did not iu; an that, Mr. Hepworth, ”
she said,hastily. is Mr.
“Miss Flora, my name not
Hepworth," looked I interrupted. little astonished
She at me a
“ Your name is not Mr. Hepworth?" My
“ No. That is, not to you. name
is Mark, Miss Flora, if you please.
“ But 1 don’t p ease," she said, with a
pleasant little laugh. “That is —not
yet Why, 1 have only known you for
k half-year! But to change the subject,
are you going to Mrs. De Morris-Brown's
next Tuesday night ?”
“I haven't been naked that I know
or,” said 1, sadly. “1 don't know Mrs.
Brown.”
“But your uncle could get you an in
vitation “Miss if you wish 1 shall one. be there 1 am going.” if 1 have
Flora, card,
to ask Mis. Brown myself looking for a
But I see your mother ia anx
iously for you. Hhall l take you toUor?
Till Tumalay night then, au revotr.
“Good bye. she said and then, u
she «r.v Jut motfac. s back turned.
Maik '
“I shall thank . , you for , that Tuesday
night, 1 said, laughing
Arter the McGregors had driven off 1
started to go down to t ate Muk s, but
concluded to'take a farewell visit to the
laboratory. 1 had become quite attached
to the place, and felt quite a pang at the
idea of giving np my m.igoo-iuixiug
I dev idol to make one more analysts, and
then give it up foreve,
“That evening >.l dinner 1 nele Mark
said :
“l ,.„Lc to Mr. . Share about , von.
M:rk Y ou boon the firm. l«eat bro-er
age business in ino city: Hhare. linker
A* Co. 1 told him you would see him at
--
Mr*. I*e Morris Brow ...on yourself.’ Tuesday night,
aad sou could apeak for
‘A“ U t iiy h l ;e '
Y *^Yon • hftTen'tf M M S Brown
Yon lift n . WeH ■ I'll get vou a
On lues-lay “n” i“v l7nUhi 1 uni Uiumy mv analysis, .na vrir^t
I had to week till pretty late. I hurried
to my room anil commenced to “'s
looked at lire re ectn n in the g ass an,
BMfli in siia wHi.t it" -
tory bow. and I they was rather were tu ^. frightened, rr . 1 au but . I
and°'ls‘to e rtnStfiS Dc
Morris Brown's when Flora and Old
Share wore to be there—impossible. The 1
looked at my hands. stains were
pretty bad (my forefinger looked like a
well-used, unscrapod palette), but they
did not extend above my wrist. My
gloves would hide them. I looked at
the clock. I was late already, so I hur¬
ried ou the rest of my things and started
to pull 1 heard on my suspicious gloves. As crack. I jerked I them
on a exam
ined tho tear, but flattered myself it
wouldn't show, and hurried into the cab,
and was soon in the gentleman's cloak
room at Mrs. Brown’s.
I found Uncle Mark growled, waiting for me.
“Ah, Mark,” ho “I thought
you were never You’ll coming. Fifteen roin
utea late! never get on with Mr.
Share unless you’re punctual. Punctu¬
ality and neatness are his two great hob¬
bies, and if you run against either you
can make up your mind to stay on his
black-book forever. Come down and I’ll
present you to Mrs. Brown.”
After the presentation, Uncle Mark
looked around the room,
“I don’t see Share,” he said, “but
there is Miss McGregor, and you can talk
^ j, er un tj) j find him.”
j went over to Flora. She was talking
[o Lieutenant Evans, a confounded idiot
w j 1() wa3 always hanging about her, and
hadn't sense enough to see that she dis
liked him.
“Well, Miss Flora, I obtained the card,
as y 0 u gce Cord evening, lieutenant;
have you seen General Sherman?”
Parting “No. Is he here to-night? said Evans,
up.
„j think j gaw him in the ballroom,”
gai( j j and whnn Evang w(mt in
|h(U dir(Jction , gaid . “Mow Miss
Flora, ’ he let us gain tho and conservatory
, )efor eomcsback,” 1 hurried
her toward the door through which
tho dark green e ualms beckoned so
. . . I went too fast, how
^ fo /'j gtnjck my foot against a
vino, or something * and 1 went down
ntlMswftlk , t out my ' hand to
^ k fal , did 80I ewU at ( but
confoimdod rip *. in my glove ex
d(J( , now down th ri ght side of my
’"too°I hdp therelaujhing it) '-"she apologized. vigorously,
( . a)A
,} ffi&K
(o haye retri lltion overta Ue you, so well
u is g0 ri diculous that I have to laugh.”
I arose, a little sulky, & and rather flur
fbd , Uu , accident lov b ut I
didn’t succeed very well. That was
^ ^ , cftgj| fault . However, She laughed 1 changed alto
f h() ,„ bjoct and wo walked along, talk
, ^ about tho black and white exhibition
th(j varioi|> pictllrL . Si meritorious and
otherwise. 1 kept < my ' right “ hand with
^ injur(;d ^ , in ockot .
,, M Mc (; r(n ,or- -Flom," 1 said sud
‘ , , ... WlU^youTallc™
ft fo me
, „ , do to keep
f throwing myself at your feet and
t( ,„ how much I loved you. 'Dear
' , took ber soft little hand
jn ray hoartil (wo big onog) .. you know , i,ic lovo
Y ou v ’ w {' f ? al1 " oul ' 8 .° '
- ^ .
^ . t ’ thnt
, d gorao si ? you loved
„ iat lovo cou d ca » forth a little
^ •»««»« let me
hid'‘cipher oy!‘s down demurely wreathed
when I began, and her face was
in blushes, but now she interrupted mo
wHh hrart , of laughter, and her
£ riveted on her hand so
. , I followed her
g)|U)C0 oh> lu> rrors! That confouud
,«d glove 1 The empty kid forefinger
dangled down, and my discolored rain
bow-lined finger protruded background. prominently
wUh (hc B ,,, )t lvss glove as with its when
1 stood there glaring rage,
tho voice of Lieutenant Evans broke in
ou us.
“I’ve found you at last, Miss Flora.
This is our waltz. What is the. joke?
Cuwu't you let me enjoy it, too. Mr.
Hepworth is an awful wag, I know."
llow I got. away l don’t know, but as
1 was trying to elbow my way to the
cloak room, an elderly gent 'email planted
himself in front of mo and said:
“This is Mr. Hepworth, isn’t it! Your
uncle recommended you to me and asked , ,
me to speak to you Bernard about a place Share," in and our
olflco. 1 am Mr.
he held out his hand to me gravely,
Boluciantly 1 drew that hideous hand
Bom behind mo and shook hands with
him. This was tho man who insisted on
neatness! He started at thc sight of the
spotted linger, of course, and 1 tried to
explain tho matter nonchalantly by say
“ig :
“Don’t think I have smallpox, or have
been putting my linger in a paint-pot.
The fact is. I left tho Inbratory late this
afternoon, too late to remove some chem
icais which I spilled on mv hand, and a
split in my glove has disclosed what 1
flattered myself I could keep hidden.”
“Yes, you young scoundrel, you have
been hiding it n long while,” said a voice
behind me. Unelo Mark, ot course; he
had come up to introduce mo, and had
overheard me. “Share, I withdraw my
recommendation of this young man, as I
am now convinced that ho is a liar, and
a sneak then turning to me he said:
“And I wish you to understand, sir, that
1 am no relative of your’s after this, 1
have no nephew. You hear me, Share,
1 don't know tho. young man.”
“I had already decided that he would
not do for me,” replied Mr. Share,
I got away from that miserable place
nseoon as I could, and 1 have decided
not to leave the laboratory,in fact.ehera
retry is the only thing left for me now
since 1 lost a legacy, a place iu business,
and the girl 1 loved, and all by a ripped
glove! —TY.i.A ingtan Hatchet.
.........
A Remarkable Woman.
^’j Aco ^^.S'woman, , , v ,, vw
1 L srien- ‘
tret, ... and linguist, says he . c«■ ?e ...
l ilas *ucomp*n ed
husband in all his travels and U « dv
voted and learned arc), aoiog.st. She is
an English i man, quite > ou *c“ ■ 1
spiritual rather than a handsome fa
During their lonely journeys in Yucatan
forests-trs l.e I ongeou wore a ways a
bloomer costume and earned her rifle
ami revolver, bhe is a dead shot and ex
ic.iaquueax |ert , "“ ler can raliTlrHe,
or make I'hotonmph. s, ho is inmanner
shy, modest, but with h. t .. n a ,
and adorable scf possess o \i tot i
which the charms of the most charm ng
woman are im,ienb-d At the Erne Dr.
I.e l 1- ngeon and U.s wife discovered the
reum of'fhe! BvTf^lexLo 'rstitions. rti. i, hidrin
guards revolted, being sup and
no* S. want Mdin? the S'a-ue to le removed
f«a. * Mrs U Fbm
geon. with rifle-and , re «o!w, , kept , , he
ut .ans a_ .iv u . e-p v •
mom • *
a^eonstant >u uXl , Sutributor'tortie and
and v a
. . . , • t j pi .a
,, Madrid and to scientific pub
* u m ul
FEMININE READERS
Unking Her Debut.
“How do you feel?”
The question was put by a fond mam
ma to her debutante daughter as they
entered the hall, writes a New York cor
respondent, and I carried the reply in
my mind only until I could get into an
ante room to write it down, so well did
it reveal the gad artificiality which lash
ion imposes on a mere child.
“Oh, I’m awfully afraid I’m not look
ing my best,” said the young creature,
“and I'm so nervous that I shake like an
overbred terrier. I am going to be awk
ward—I know I am, and I shall make a
failure.”
That sense of self-exhibition in a child
that ought to have been a careless
rymaker! Doubtless she had been in
strict training for the event, like a pu¬
gilist for a fight. Hard lessons in danc¬
ing and deportment, ardous drilling in
the art of small talk, much practice of
facial expression before her mirror, and
tedious experiences with a dressmaker,
had brought her into condition for what
—so she had been led to believe—was a
most serious feat. Do you suspect that
I am exaggerating? Why, I personally
know of a case in which a delicate and, girl,
h iving been trained down too fine,
therefore, liable to he worn instead of
fresh in appearance, was sent to a Tur
kish bath in the afternoon of the debut,
where sho was steamed, sprayed and
rubbed; after which she was put to bed
at home for a sleep of two hours, with
the result that she finally showed her
nlf in a state of revivification resembling
the bright-eyed and rosy-cheeked health
of a milkmaid.
Wonttarful Women.
The feats of Lulu Hurst, says the Chi¬
cago Inter-Ocean, fall into insignificance
beside those of Madame Gobert.who laid
ziaim to no other power than uncommon
physical strength. This women, who is
described as possessing a remarkably
beautiful face and form, appeared first
before thc public at St. Bartholomew fair,
in London, in 1818. Her achievements
astonished all who beheld them. She
carried weights equal to 2,010 which pounds,
lifted a heavy table on several
persons were seated with her teeth, sup¬
ported an anvil weighing 100 pounds forged on
her chest, while a blacksmith a
horseshoe upon it,and afterward tied her
long hair about the anvil and swung it
about. The Georgia girl’s chair feat was
a favorite one with Madame Gobert, and
it is noteworthy that in the case of each
woman this was tho first branch of their
performances attacked by skepticism. public
Whether, as was charged, her
performances were made up largely doubt of
trickery, there appears to be no
that she was extraordinarily strong. On
one occasion while traveling her coach
sank into the mire and resisted all efforts
of the horses. Descending, the female
3ainson easily extricated the vehicle, and
proceeded on her journey amid the ap¬
plause of a large crowd of common peo¬
ple, with whom her popularity continued
for years.
Derbyshire had a strong woman whom
London managers vainly tried to coax
from her vocation of breaking horses.
This was Miss 1’hasbe Brown, spinster,
round and ruddy, who walked like a man
and preferred a man’s labor. She could
easily walk forty or fifty miles in a work¬
ing day, and could carry fourteen stone
with case. A few other strong women
lire traceable through magazine of mighty litera¬
ture, hut a virtual monopoly enjoyed
thighs and sinews has ever been
by the male sex.
Wmnrn in Texas.
K-ssrs
goof is a great deal of native intelligence and
The thinking. tho well-to-do
women among indoors,
classes appear to live mostly
Even in cities very few are seen on tho
street or in tho stores. They arc not as
often rosy cheeked as tho men, hut much
oftenor powdered. Living with doors
and windows open a largo part of thc
year, and in houses all, tho year that let
in the air on every side, it seems strange
that they do not look fresher. At one
place, whore thc railroad missed tho town
a mile, and ull the stores had been taken
to thc depot, wo asked how they got to
tbo stores through the mud.
“Oh, wo never go; the men go on
horseback, and they do the soemonbuy- buying.”
So it is not uncommon to
ing dress goods, stockings, and other ar¬
ticles for women's wear.
Good help is scarce, and the women
usually do tho housekeeping m a few
rooms, more beds every m one it. °, f ihur timidity JVJS ° n ,® is ^ so
great that they object to two-story
houses because the wind blows l or
recreation many dip snuff and lead stories.
Among the poorer Classes women work
in and the_ picking holds at are cotton done by hand, and J.’ .what 0 ^
one man can plant and ..low sovera hands
are required to hoc and |mk Bu L. a !'
Ing cotton is clcan famwork d here
arc nolb rums to sciatch, nor }iuce to stain
tho hands. The stooping is tiresome,
but iess than picking straw bur vs
( luldren are va , ; b e ekenc 1 -cmg
nimble and of suitable height, fielmo
seen little gnh. who> had 1,1 "■ *
of pounds, " lth s inBoo " e ' s *“' “‘‘ °‘
in the hot sun, who . were not tanrnd a d at
all. In ye ms when the crop good
wages are high, and many well to do
women go out and P' 1 *
art' paid by the hundred pounds.
li oaua < Journal.
Female ilenniy.
adcserinrionVf ,
writer "in Lorn! on Truth
female IhTLoXnth bevutv in a book published W i/ in
c, nturv
“To the absolute form of a woman's Face
f.ire white forehead marked
with no wrinkles or lines longer than
that of il.owt man’s tVc'temreles i« and drawiusr to a round
“ e “ '*® ut I^.TwhVre that U -cems to
~
tumor or of clbbositv sadness’
or any ,-toud Uotu . no no went) severity «
l I ‘
« d t .]egmt v^t to
U-hold A A httl' h,, nu.uih « me or
what shmt. f've... and in number just
” e “ SrThCwl n ,,i thin nnrinn hard closed
JT € ‘ little dreiovned
‘ ” ,'. a
>°. 1 l'J°heriwicc .. ., e ; !!g . orTiXth discovered
. ^
uo. unmoved ‘
bp' ^h^ bpTthus n r brio de^rihe nor suck her
' t add a
wonderful grace and dignity to a
woman's visage. "the Neither is the nose to
-w omitted, honor and ornament
, ol the ,k, which retires n!s the ££ out
! strait ’ cleanc with certain obtuseness
a , u t e h,u the ho es of the nostril* small,
| A round, smooth, whereof pill'd ot smooth introduce chin,
»t. e candor seems to
i into the beholder’s mind but a certain suspi
\ St cion of a Rose colour, no tract at
nor «T wtueotion of haire is to
' seen neither on the lips or chin. A
small, short, purple tongue most cer¬
tainly doth become a woman, which is
vet scarce or never been, the tip scarce
appearing while she speaks; the Eyebrows
ought to be black subtile disjoyned, black soft
and sweetly arched. Somewhat
eyes, declining to smallness, conclave,
rolling, laughing, pleasant, and shining,
The Balls of the Cheeks round, alto
gether void of haires, fleshie, rosie, and
■ resembling the red Sunshine Apples theTem- of
Autumne. Above these remains
j pies, which ought to be no less white
than the Forehead, and without suspi
cion of any bones, yet not swoln or de
pressed, but in a manner a little scarce;
Ears graven, somewhat short, soft and
delicate, aspersed with the delucid col
our of Hoses. The whole head rather
little than great, more round than a
. man’s, comely, erect, and elevated.”
raHliion Xfotea.
All shades of brown are trimmed with
„ 0 *j d
! Turkish , sashes are popular for slender
il o urei -
Fur-lined circulars havethe . high , effect _ ,
on thc shoulders.
Tan and ruby are to be the favorite
colors in the spring,
Steel and silver tinsel are used for trim¬
ming gray materials.
; Fur is considered more desirable for
cloak trimming than plush.
Pink in all shades is the Parisian pas
«on of the passing moment,
Flowered cashmeres have designs in
beautiful soft and pale colors,
Cream lace worked with lilac flowers
relief makes a charming skirt.
Blnck surah is used for home wear and
is trimmed wiili jet velvet or lace.
Yellow is coming into fashion again
as wheel and body color for private cur
riages. of
Skirts trimmed with deep flounces
lace have only a narrow pleating at the
bottom.
Plain and brocaded foulards are trim¬
med with Spanish lace dyed to match
the silk.
Insects continue to he worn, A gold
brooch is the perfect semblance of a
Brobdingnagian locust.
Front draperies must be either very
long or very short, Those of medium
length are not in style.
Short evening dresses are made very
full and have two loose breadths puffed the
so that they are no longer than
skirt.
Yellow is fashionable for evening wear,
and is now worn by many women to
whom it is anything but becoming. One
has to have a very clear fair skin, or a
clear dark skin, to look well in yellow,
of any shade.
An extravagant fancy, which does not
result in a pretty costume, is the use of
a cashmere shawl to form the waistcoat
and front and side breadths of a dress,
thc other parts being of line real India
cashmere or chudda cloth.
Lace ball dresses have skirts covered
with flounces from the waist to the foot,
no draperies, bodices of satin or broche,
profusely trimmed with lace, and lace
j sleeves to the elbow, or no sleeves to
speak of, only a puff and shoulder strap
of laco.
Brides go to the altar with one hand
uncovered. The glove is carried in the
right hand with the boquet of loose,
long-stemmed white roses and foliage.
Bridesmaids carry floral fans, or baskets,
swung from the left arm by broad satin
ribbons.
Jewelry in which are set small stones
1 sx
are cm
imbedded m the gold, while large gems
“ rC All A f shades of brown beige, ecru and ,
cream, full shades of sapphire and tur
quoiso blue, wine reds, silks, and but black will
be found in spring no more
terra cotta, brick, or artistic half shades
of sage and cress green, or other so
called [Esthetic colors,
j The reason shot silks than are worn America more in is
England and France the difference iu in the social
on account of
and domestic life of women on this and
thc other side of thc water. The after
noon teas of the English and the cere
j monious visits of tho Ereuch toilets women than de
niand drossier after noon
afternoon calls, receptions, and “days
at homo ” in New York,
h Greyhound ,, s , Long , Leaps.
c (ai n Ed. Murphy has a beautiful
bound ]t 0 ccntly Captain Murphy
paid a visit to relatives at Urbana and
hjj Lound along for thc p urp0 se of
, mvin£; n ]iu]e 8port [ ln compa ny with
somc of his fl .j CI dg h e went out thirty-three hunting,
alld near a i #nc w bich was
{(jet wWc #nd bordered on both sides
bv a stake and aider fence, got up a
. The hound fe gave chase and the
labl)lt ruu ut fence. The first
i„ mp the hound made it cleared twenty
® . ovcr ono of ,l.e fences
^ t IandJn ” iu , he 1;me- Without anv
limin , lr m0t j 0 n it made the second
leap and covered the immense distance
ij clearing the fence on
the ot rs ide of the lane. There was a
beavv j a n 0 f snow, and it was therefore
an easy matter to determine the distance
■ the dog's feet iu
prints dis(ance of Measured
^ ^ xvas
^ Cg jn Murphv a nd three others who
Witnessed the remarkable feat, and their
^ made it ns mentioned above.—
Cincinnati Bnquirer.
A Boy Who Eats Wool.
A New London, Conn., boy, aged five,
eats all tho woolen and worsted threads
cymes across. worsted He picks the nap from
blankets and the from the chair
tides, and it is hardly required to state
that he is in a consiaut condition of ill
health, llis affectionate mamma does
not know what to cover him w ith when
she puts him in his little bed. His appe
titc re excellent, and he eats holes through
the blanket in no time. In the parlor
#nd , itting room . v.hen he manages to
enter those apartments, he makes the
tidies and curtains look as if an army
of Mhltal bteut sort. The only
sure way to cure him would be to nad
lock his month and encase his bands in
short iron gloves. But if they let him
alone and can afford the expense for
among^^the awhile, such food wilt soon send him
° angels. ” -PkdadHghia Progress,
--
Value of a Ton of Gold.
One ton , >,000 pounds avoirdupois) of
gold or therefore, silver contains thc value 29. of US troy- ounces, of
and, a ton pure
gold is $502.799.21, and a ton of sitver,
537 704 84
A runic foot ot pure gold weighs
1.218.75 pounds avoirdupois; weighs *35.*5 a pounds cubic
foot of pure *Tver
One million dollars gold coin weighs
3.6.-5 8 pounds avoirdupois; SI,000,000
silver con. .—VeJrnical weighs 58,939.9 EncinU pounds avoir
dttoois
GUYING A TEA TASTER.
Combining tor an Audience and
Profit for <l>e Victim.
“I knew a case of guying that once
saved a poor chap from starvation and
kept him on his feet for a whole year,”
said one of a group of newspaper men
ings who were exchanging “And afforded yarns a amusement few even¬
ago. it
beside for a whole town and made the
victim a happy man. It occurred in a
small city in Southwestern Ohio, that I
then had occasion to visit every day. In
my visits I fell in at the hotel with an
impecunious tea-taster, whom I had
known in his better days some years be¬
fore in Cincinnati, and who took occa¬
sion to register every day with a hu,ge
flourish as Professor William Hancock
Cluff, F. L. T. S., late of Dublin, Ire¬
land. I understand that the initials
stood ‘Fellow of the Royal Tea Society,’
whatever that may be, He had been
unfortunate in business, and, in this lit¬
tle city was trying to eke out a living by
buying a few pounds of different kinds
of tea from retail dealers, mixing them
so as to improve their flavor,
as none but an expert can and peddling door.
the mixture from door to
But there was no money in it, and one
day when I reached the hotel had been I was tired, not
surprised to find that he
with a considerable bill left to his debit.
In pity for him I brought him in to his
dinner every day while somebody else
kindly furnished him lodging. The poor
fellow was flat on his back and could
neither get anything to do or getaway
from town.
“Professional tea-tasting is said to
weaken the mind, and in this man it ap¬
peared simply to have made him soft and
retained to its full depths his vilgin
honesty. Well, I couldn’t afford to pay
double' board bill, and a plan of relief
suggested itself as he unbosomed to me
his sorrows. IIo believed that he was
capable of delivering an interesting lec¬
ture on tea, and I concluded to encourage
him in it and began to help him. Gazette, I an¬
nounced it next day in the
making use of his full name as it appear¬
ed in the register, and repeated the
name gravely two or three times in the
item. He was delighted and the town
was grinning. I got some young fellows
to engage the largest hall in the city and
go security lor printing the tickets.
Meanwhile I was adding new and attrac¬
tions to the programme pub¬
lishing them every few days. Among
them was a deaf and dumb fellow known
as Dummy Wiles,a noted character about
town, and a capital mimic in his way.
The tickets went off with astonishing
rapidity, and between 700 and 800 were
sold at twenty-five cents each. For the
night of the lecture we had twelve young
society men ranged on the stage in full
evening dress as patrons. The professor
was beside himself with glory, but
needed something better than his seedy
suit to make a proper appearance on the
rostrum. He was a very small, lightly
built man, about forty-five years of age,
with a thin face, ornamented with the
hugest and reddest beak that any cari¬
caturist ever devised. AVo fitted him
out in a full dress suit belonging to and the
tallest and fattest man in town,
adapted the garments to his size by half
a dozen rolls at tho lower end of the
pantaloons, but we couldn’t get the
sleeves to remain rolled, and they con¬
tinually slipped down over his fingers.
For a necktie a lady at the hotel kindly
loaned a huge scarf, of flaming red
satin. On the whole, he was immeasur¬
ably proud cf his rig. Nobody felt
like presiding, and the professor con¬
cluded to do it himself. The hall
was densely crowded, and with an
audience composed mainly of the best
citizens of the place. Preceding the
raising of the curtain a fine young
musician, who was anxious to appear
before an audience, and had innocently
brought liis own parlor organ into the
hall, played Mendelssohn’s wedding
march, and the audience was consequent¬
ly all right until the curtain rose. After
it arose one of the patrons, introduced
Dummy Wiles to the professor, and a
funny tableau occurred right imagined at the be¬
ginning. The professor had him
to lie on elocutionist, and after a lot of
whispering, loud cnoagh to he heard by
the whole audience, and to which Dum¬
my responded only by nods of his head,
the professor stepped forward and an¬
nounced: ‘Ladies and gentleman, I have
the honor to introduce to you Professor
Dummy Wiles, a noted elocutionist, and
I am told a good comic singer and cari¬
caturist.’
“The performance can’t be depicted.
Between Dummy’s imitating all the pub
Lie characters in the audience and poking
f un a t the professor and the professor’s
attempts to read his stupid continuous lecture, the
audience was kept in a roar,
The professor took every roar as one of
; ! applause and a compliment to himself,
and thc unbounded happiness and self¬
] satisfaction his face showed furnished
continuous occasion for more. About 10
o’clock, when everybody was sore from
laughing, tlic professor performance still came struggling to a
close with the
to read his lecture.”
“How did it pan out with the profes
sort”
: “He was able to straighten himself up
neatly; bought a new suit of clothes,
paid part of his hotel bill, and had $35,
or $40 left. Other towns took the thing
up, but in a much rougher way. Still
he made money while it lasted, and the
professor felt that in his old age he was
on the very high road to success.”
“But what became of him?”
“The last I heard of him was that dur
ing the winter following he drifted to
Indianapolis, where the poor fellow died
in the poor-house. ’—Detroit Free Press.
A $20,000 Bible.
Describing a sale of valuable books,
the London Standard, of that city, says:
Next came the celebrated Mazarin Bible,
described in the catalogue as follows:
Bitilia Sacra Latina e \ ersione et cum
Pradationc, S. Ilieronymi, two volumes,
the first edition of thc Bible, and the ear
Best book printed with metal types, by
the inventors of printing, splendidly
bound in blue morocco, a magnificent
copv folio, Fine Nota Sed circt Moguntite, per
J. Gutenburg et J. Fust, 1450 53.
This excessively rare edition, of which a
copv sold in the Perkins sale for £2,690,
j h « been designated as the Mazarin Debure
j Bible ever since the discovery by
of a copv in the library of Cardinal
Mazarin' It is printed in double col
umns, in large letters similar to those
used by the scribes for church missals
and choral books, and for firmness of
paper, brightness of ink and exact uni
formitv surged of impression it Has never been
by any ether work. This re
markable was started at £o00 and
then a brisk competition took place be
tween Mr. Qnaritch and Mr. Snowden.
the suctioneer s clerk, for its possession.
At £3,100 Mr. and Snowden dropped took out of it
the bidding some Qu.-iritcbi one else secured
up. but eventually Mr. amidst cheers.
treasure for £3,900
--“ 1 --
In the English-speaking countries of
J the world there are 11,000,000 Roman
Catholics and 8S.000.000 Protestants.
SAFE DEPOSIT VAULTS.
Where Gotham'* Va*t Fortunes are
Stoned Away.
The vast fortunes in stocks and bonds
of the millionaires of this city are not
stored in the brown-stone dwellings of
the avenue. The thin walls, black wal¬
nut doors, and easily picked locks of
those houses would oiler iittie resistance
against the violence of a mob. ilie
davs when skilful cracksmen could cap¬
ture large quantities of valuable property
in rich men’s homes have almost passed
away. Taught by experience or admon¬
ished by example, persons with portable seek
valuables have been forced to
places of storage and security. Within
nearly the last dozen of years there have
sprung up in answer to that demand
buildings of massive structure and ex
ceptional strength. All that inventive
genius could discover or money
command has been employed and bur- to
render these places fire
glar proof. There are many of them
scattered through the city. from YYall
street to Harlem, all agreeing in their
main features of massive strength and
inspiring solidity. These are known as
safe deposit vaults. They usually occu¬
py the ground floor of some staunch fire¬
proof structure, and the mass of locks,
bars, bolts, combinations, and burglar- wonder¬
resisting contrivances is really
ful. the
A description of one up town near
centre of the city will answer for the
rest. Entering from the street you pass
up to a wall of solid steel bars, every bar
as thick as a man’s wrist, and twelve or
fifteen feet high. These are firmly
fastened to each other and into the
stone floor, and across them is placed a
stout wire screen. Two keen eyes
sharply survey you from the interstices
of the screen. If their owner is im¬
pressed favorably there is a clicking of
locks, a rattling of holts, and slowly the
ponderous iron gate swings back. Next
you fall into the hands of the superin¬
tendent, who gives you another keen
survey, and then unlocking an iron 1
wicket, ushers you into the vaults. wo
massive doors, each nearly eight inches
thick, stand ajar. Each of the three
entrances is double doored and every
door is secured by time and combina
iocks and six large bolts of steel.
Leaving the daylight with the outsida
world and passing into the interior,
the brightly burning gas jets re¬
veal a iow-ceiied, square apartment. and
The floor is stone, iron, iron ce¬
ment; the ceiling is iron, and four
walls are concealed behind four row's of
iron safes. This is the treasure house of
Vanderbilt. Human skill could not
build it stronger; mortal genius has not
welded steel and stone into a firmer com¬
bination. accustomed
When one’s eyes become
to the light of” this iron chamber one
perceives that the surface of the walls is
divided into little squares of various
sizes. The depositor inserts a thin key
of curious make in one of the squares.
He begins to haul on the square, and it
lengthens out into an oblong iron box,
nearly three feet long, and divided into
compartments. These boxes are movable
and may be taken out and brought into
a private room, where in the strictest
privacy the contents of the box may be
examined. Other safes are firmly fas¬
tened into the wall, and have changeable the
combination locks. The locks of
outside doors of the vaults arc both time
and combination locks, and the time
locks are so arranged that the doors,
once closed, cannot be opened until 9
o’clock in the morning. Outside and
inside at least a dozen persons are
within hearing earshot, and could easily
hear the slightest unusual noise. It is
calculated that if by any accident the
locks should all get out of order, it
would require more than four days of
constant labor to effect an entrance.
These vaults contain almost every
variety of valuable property—gold and
silver coin, greenbacks, diamonds, and
other precious stones, family plate, sil
verware, jewelry, mementoes, bonds,
deeds, and valuable papers of every
description. Families breaking going up
housekeeping and removing their or
abroad, are obliged to store plate
and valuables for safety’s sake. Mr. W.
II. Vanderbilt has an immense amount
of property stored in this way, and
frequently goes to the vault to cut off
the interest coupons on bis bonds with
his own fingers, or to read the tally of
his golden hoard in all the seclusion that
this stone-steel vault can grant. Private
papers of immense value lie there in
perfect security. Lawyers use the little
safes as depositories for important
papers, and the key to many a bitter
litigation is locked within those wal!s.
Many fashionable ladies keep their
jewels there, taking them out for an
evening and putting them hack the
next morning. "Watchmen guard the
vaults within and without, and that all
potent agent, electricity, nrotects them
by ingenious systems of bells and alarms.
Even should a mob set out to pillage and
destroy the city, it would rage in vain
against these ironclad structures. The
companies generally guarantee the safety
of goods left in their care, and charge
only a few dollars a year for all this
bolting, barring and unceasing vigi
lence. A small box costs twenty or
thirty dollars. Fvom that figure the
rental of boxes runs up into the hundreds,
but all have the same measure of pro¬
tection —-New York Sun.
The Methods of Pickpockets.
Purses and watches are the almost ex¬
clusive haul of the pickpocket, happen and
ninety per cent, of these thefts
in crowds. Many of the quarrels to be
heard in the streets of London are got
up entirely for the purpose of collecting
crowds for the pickpockets simply to with work their in.
Some thieves operate
hands, but others use a knife or razor,
in order to cut through coats and dresses,
and especially to get the purses from
ladies. The emptied trouser pocket crowd of by a man slitting can
easily be in 3
down tire scam with a razor, hooking the
instrument into the aperture, and saw¬
ing from -within outward. A thief will
often do his work with an overcoat on
his arm to hide the movements of his
hand; this especially and in the handkerchiefs omnibus or
train. Newspapers this and with
are also used for purpose,
the help of the latter it is common for
scarf pins to be stolen. “Excuse me,
sir, you have some dust on your neck,”
savs the thief to the victim, and in pre
tending to bru-h off the dust he re
moves the pin bv 'When grasping it through the
handkerchief. a watch is stolen
it is generally separated bv grasping the
instrument itself in one hand, and the
r in<r thereof between the thumb and fin
ger of the other, and then giving a sharp
twist so that a tinv steel pin gives way the
and falls, the watch being taken and
chain left hanging. Ins.necter Shaw
wears a watch that is fastened to its
ring with a tough gold screw, and se
cures it with an india-rubber circlet,
and he tells the present writet that if
the^e precautions were generally taken
there would be few more watch rob
beries .—Pali Ma'l Gazette.
A SONG OF THE SEASONS.
In the spring the young man’s fancy lightly
turns to thoughts of love,
And, assisted by young Cupid, makes some
girl his “ turtle-dove.”
In the summer then he takes her to each pic¬
nic in the glade,
And to all moonlight excursions which are on
the steamers made.
In the fall he spouts his gew gaws to obtain
some ready cash,
And proceeds to hops and parties with his
charming female mash.
In the winter she deserts him for a better
looking swell,
And he swears like any trooper when he hears
their marriage-bell!
—"Jef Joslyn."
PUNGENT PARAGRAPHS.
The marriage write—The certificate.
Going the rounds—Climbing a ladder.
A bad sign—A forged signature.—
Post.
A bachelor of arts—An accomplished
lady-killer.
Blind people cannot be carpenters, be¬
cause they never saw.— Waterloo Obser¬
ver.
Bui wet was right; there’s no such
word as fail. It is mollified into assign¬
ment .—Middletown Press.
When music, heavenly maul, was young,
While yet in early Greece she sung,
The world was pleased to hear each air,
’Cause they’d no blamed piano there.
—Siftings.
“Poets are torn,” says a writer. So
are other men, but when they get old
enough they generally reform .—Boston
Post.
Yes, son, we call that kind of a hat a
stovepipe, because it soots our clothes
and makes such a draft—on our pockets.
-.Life.
A Madison street girl’s answer to the
current conundrum: “Will the coming him.’,
man work!” is: “ He will if I get
— Wilmington Star.
In Biblical days the foolish virgins
neglected to put oil in their lamps. oil In
our times the foolish virgins put on
the fire —Norristown Herald.
“There is many a slip ’twixt the couple
and the lips,” sardonically paraphrased
young kiss McDodd as he vainly essayed to
his beat girl,— Hatchet.
“What is laughter?” asks a scientist.
It is what you don't hear when you find
your wife sitting up for you after the
club .—New York Graphic.
A severe critic (innocently)—“Landscape! at a picture gallery:
An old maid
Nature, indeed 1 Why, it’s no more like
nature than I am I”— Punch.
An exchange says: “We spend schools.” nearly
$100,000,000 per annum well on our We have
Well, it is money spent.
the best base-ball players in the world.
—Norristown Herald.
On the rollers accident he his glides happiness like the cars,
But an mare;
And so swiftly ho his sped, head,
He sat Down on
And he saw about ten million * *.
—Norristown Herald.
One who spoke United States only:
“Did the deceased die under suspicious
circumstances?” asked a coroner of a ru¬
ral witness. “Naw, he didn’t; he died
in the water, under the ice.”— Provi¬
dence News.
“Island high in Vermont?" asked a
speculator of an old Green mountain
farmer. “ Indeed it is!” was the reply.
“If the trees warn’t so stunted the
clouds couldn’t get by at all.”— Burling¬
ton Free Press.
The Chattanooga Times contains an
elaborate description of a machine for
the manufacture of strawberry boxes.
What the country will soon be suffering
for is a quart strawberry box which will
hold a quart of strawberries .—New York
World.
“Please had give me mouthful something in to eat, week.” I’ve
not a wax’m a
“ Here, my good replied man is the a plate cook. of “Hot nice
hot soup for you,
soup!” he howled. “Haven’t you got
something else? This makes the fifth
plate of hot soup I’ve had in the last
hour. It is not healthy to put so much
hot soup on an empty stomach.’'
He—“But really, my dear, ju3t think
how small my income is. Instead of
buying a new dress, why not turn the
old one?” She—“Turn the old one,
indeed. Your income is plenty large
enough if you do not spend it all at the
club. You’d better do a little turning
yourself.” He—“I? Why, what can I
turn?" She—“Turn over a new leaf.’’
A German scientist says that the brain
and spinal cord are conductors, “and
hence a lightning injure stroke the on brain tire head beyond does
not materially
shattering the nerves and causing tempo¬
rary derangement.” This a sweet con¬
solation ; but all the same, during a thun¬
der storm, ninety-nine women out of a
hundred will shut themselves up in a
dark room or take refuge in a cellar.
The old, old story: wrangler The Colonel— of
“Yes, he was senior his
year and she took a mathematical scholar¬
ship at Girton; and now they’re en¬
gaged!” Mrs. Jones—“Dear mo, how
interesting! and oh, how different their
conversation must be from the insipid
twaddle of ordinary lovers!” Their con¬
versation: He—“And what would
dovey do if lovey were to di'c?” SWj—
“Oh, dovey would die too !”—London
Punch.
“ If you do not at once remit the $100
you owe our firm,” wrote a dun the
other day to a delinquent debtor, “we
shall be obliged to put the bill into “My the
hands of a lawyer for collection.”
dear sir," replied the debtor, urbanely,
by the next post, “if you are happily
acquainted with a lawyer who is able to
collect $100 from me, I beg you to send
him to me at once, for I shall be glad to
employ him in my own interest.”— Chi¬
cago Tribune..
Showing Strangers Around.
Standing near the desk of the Fifth
Avenue hotel a day or two since, writes
a New York correspondent, I saw a neat
]y dressed, g entlemanly man step up to
the clerk and say : “ 1 want to see the
town and am a stranger stopping here
with you.” The clerk, without reply,
turned and whistled for the bell-boy.
‘‘Call M—•” said the clerk. In a moment
a large, good looking man, as well
dressed as any gentleman on the street,
appeared. The clerk introduced him to
the person who wanted to see the sights
of a great city. '■ Whatever this man
does is all right,” said the clerk to him.
“ He is our man and he knows the
ropes.” The two stepped aside, talked
in a subdued tone a moment, and then
morning parted to I meet the again later. in The the next bar
saw two men
room drinking though selzer they water. had They both
looked as made a night
of it. All the great hotels keep good¬
looking, well-informed men to show a
stranger around. It is a costly business
to the visitor, hut any one coming to
New York is willing to be seeing robbed, espe
daily if he is bent on the ele
phant.