Newspaper Page Text
IHE EASTMAN TIMES
THURSDAY, APRIL 28, 1887.
if. L. BURGH, E B. MILNER
Editors and Proprietor*.
TERMS OF SUBSCRIPTION:
#ae copy, one year, 12.00
On* copy, six months, - 1.00
One copy, three months, •• 50
Clubs of ten, each subscriber, 1.50
Clubs ot five.each subscriber. 1.75
Rates for a'lvertiseing will be fur
■ished on application, Advertisements
from responsible parties will b<- inserted
nutil ordered out, when the time is not
specified on the copy, and payment ex
g'-r-d accordingly. advertising due
Kills for insertion, upon presen¬ but
tation, after the first a
c irit o , commercial liberality will be
practice'* towards regular patrons.
WHAT KILLS AKERICUS.
P«k>» ecSclr-eti £5su£tvtf—Slard f>rtui*»
tor-Pass’ -4L9*£iA j>a lan» -*
i tffc* Kaww See Slszlw.
the same eomplamk,
Hospitals wid privates iastitu*
lions for nerroas patients ara
crowded. Tbs average af Hf«
in lit* United Stetss k de¬
deaths creasing from every year. eoilspee Suddaa
nervous
tin on g our business, profeaa
and public mun are so
frequent remark. Tk« as scfeixrely to excite
committed majority without of sai
so-called sp
parset rvaacJL, or amier
“dojjreasion of spirits,” are
retuiy promptwl by nervous
pra«!ratic?i, which is a traitful
tour a* *H of insanity and crime
with their grief and horror.
Tssse fc.rts ai** etsrtling.
They fchroxteo tho vary lira of
Idic iiatiua. They taK-ii the
<y{ its power and pro$
jMirly. 'They wreck maniiood’s
stna^jtk and bpauty. tvouuua’s usciul
aaus asd
Sv«ry one should know the
taauibsa. What ere they t Tho
anew«r b easy acd teriibly
pixia.: babita; Our oarelcra ncioua personal lawless
our . 0.1
^fcting and dricktmg; tha ia
«efiae msntfd end v J. yrical strcic
arlt&jg from our mid race after
money, poeitHHi taid LnSvcnoa;
aarty; tin n.tr-vsiius tsA
•timclaate; enr fx^hioa of
tiixrjia day into xurht end
cigH Icte "day; ar.c, briafiy,
, d*2p>trzU tor hoor> to
pry scy pr»>* So
plMQft buria life’s or c*adie ct brti tatiu see
and fill tie lan.xi.vc
and the x^Avaycrda.
* Tbs tuscauDe from which we
suffer lish, Ncrvuus snd di» is. Xhjipepti*, ia En^- it
m
u s4*tod ia tho Kcrc-x* &ud ia
ilatiaa the orgma md of Natnti^s- Digastiaa, Hskltky AsAim
digestion being irarpeded or d'ss
kjeluded, ircj«d, tks whole literacy Wly, wewvsi; csxvea
is
ewea wL» there is iso eniad
aticc te tell tv.te se4 story.
Kervwse w*miEgs:—asadaehe prmerx'ion kendi
out its
Is. the morning; s, jausdatent
dull heavisoAg or at the
bacEOKthe 't/iniii ; r^T.kci alae*a;
Ion g £ana disgvst with
food: kc« ol xsnta! eijfs-tpy and
YnteSMSt ia ordinary davits end
Lasassa; reetiea«ie*3 i anr
is$j without any i^igaabl*
Tfls(«B; eructations; bad
breath; f»al xaucoaa oo th«
teeth; c&t&tlmisl riddinees;
palpitetioa oi tho reart; stl
krwaesB oi the skin; eoated
tongas tad grads*! {xi!ar« of
strength *»d xmbitioti.
Tbs -.’®s»dy ks a total tsbsui
domtt«n4 ai ths hfibite end euv
toxas wbisA cause toe dir ease
ia s*dh iisdivklual sod the
oas aSasF*' Extra** of Mo&*
(Se-igvV* Brrap) to core the
mkedtic 1 airoiujy docs. This
greet si&kas remedy, Ootarcmaiiy py^srsd of Ht. ^by Lob- tho
-
i&an, R Y., is oepecuidiy sdapt- Dy»
&d to sradiiate Ksrvooa
pepsdfe. To do this it set*
Ziroddy sad tho g«uLiy dis-srderta biii power¬
fully nps« stom¬
ach,' SsTflsr *nd *n:i fcdaeys, restor¬
ing their tooe
tnoiiijg t^ sacrctKRi or btls, ex
vrssw “iw;!w>r9 from the
ihe blood.
i • (Jpoa tho liervous rystem
ShoJur Jtorod(8«ag«l’s S}Tup)
aate mi a ssJs end -esoms
anodyne BOTvycUic ®Sset, without end the th-su sii^htort isevea
the rervsa to regsin ibcir c*t
ursl teas «d rtr-ac’di Uurough
ita woadtrrful isfiueao* upon
the foocftioc of nutrition.
» It is mte to say more aarr
oos dyspjpdcs b*ve b«<m rw
*torvd by it from vLs .depths
misery to a fr^li ev Y •)meat *
of HI* and labor t 77* an by *=y
or all <v*her forms o r r% r trefftmort
TEd f- -
VOL. XV.
A COSTLY TOMB FOB A PA
He Saied His Mistre>s From Bobbers
and Sow Lies in State.
-
All the parrota that history has
liauded down to us thus tar have
■ i four* t’> -■
il, Lite »>..} -< th. lUfl'l:
any >ti: after dt-cli. A y-'Uttg
n. vr ri %• » '»
whos-* brnve deeds for a number <»t
years and the amount of nplendor
he fell into after his wiugs had
ceased to dap and he had squawked
his last squawk, entitle him to a
place in history. The bird came
into this world at the top of a high
boubab tree in the island of Mada
gascar, and was one of the good
ol 1 Fsittacidaj family. While still
very young and not possessed of
much more sense than the gilded
{youths who lead dogs happened up dud to down take
Fifth avenue, he
his daily hop abroad too near the
coast. He fell into the hands
pirates who lugged him off in a
bag, in spite of his lusty scream
mg, and took him aboard their
ship, where he got no consolation
beyond dry bread and round
Spanish oaths.
After being carried through a
series of adventures, about which
he could never after be induced to
spel':, he finally brought up in
Calcutta. There he was bought by
a wealthy American woman who
was traveling for pleasure. From
then until death claimed him he
was happy. He traveled with her
all through India, living in bunga¬
lows, eating curry, watching derv¬
ishes at their whirls anon, dis
covering spoor and doing all those
wonderful things with outlandish
names «>* “■« «“*” *
English books of adventure never
tire of relating. He was named
Bill, not on account of any special
fitness of the name, but because it
happened to be lying around loose.
Oue night thieves broke into the
wealthy American woman’s bunga¬
low, and probably would have
walked off with all her portable
riches after stabbing her to death,
but for the watchfullnoss of Bill.
Like the geese who saved Rome
Bill heard the marauders, uud un
like them he swore roundly in
Spanish, and rent the air of Hin
doostan with loud cries of
grang! •chagrang!” which is pure
Hindoostaneo and means “ideip,
help! We are beset by dogs of
robbers." The thieves ran away,
to the great glory of Bill aud
faction of his mistress, and ever
afterward Bill occupied a warm,
roomy corner in her heart.
seein*' the world thoroughly he
came came nouie home with wiui her ycr twu and settled avvvx
down in a mere mansion on
ray Hill.
Six weeks ago Bill died.
mistress sent him to a bird staffer,
in Broadway. He loaded Bill up
with arsenic and other things
which defy decay, put in a nice
new yellow glass eye, with a bold,
1.1,ck p»pil an) than ihe Hr) .»
««ly for tli. tomb. A mannf.ct
uring company got the job of mak
ing the tomb. They had orders to
spare no expense, so they turned
their artists loose on a big block of
rosewood. On his left side, his
head resting on a pink satin cash
ion, lay Bill at full length. His
new glass eye looked peaceful, end
alibis green and yellow feathers
slione bright with post-mortem
splendor. All around him, the
walls of the polished solid rose¬
wood casket wero quilted with
hand-sewed pink satin cushions. A
thick piece of clear plate glass,
with beveled edges, gave people a
good chance to gaze on Bill’s calm
features. The carving of the cas¬
ket was rich and fine. It would
have taken one skilled artist a
month to do it. A tracery of vines
and sprays of flowers with every
detail faithfully worked out, cov¬
ered the lid of the casket. The
same decoration was on each side.
The ca?ket is six inches high and
eighteen inches long, and cost 82 >
000. From to-day nntil he wears
out Bill will repose in it on a
marble pedestal, which his mis¬
tress has caused to be placed in
her parlor.—N. 1'. World.
“Y'ou will want to enter something
for the county fair, I suppose, Mr.
Hayseed?” Said the president of the
Agricultural Society, “Wall, yes,”
said Mr. Hayseed, “vou Kin pat me
down for the biggest hog in the
connty.”
Now is the time to s*b*cribe for
the Times, the best weekly paper
in tliie section.
Tli
word "
be wot
me anit
* *
too®
j 3 ber miasraH
A man is uo^
standing tfornen
\ u bis blindness I
c j a te her as he ^
IV > - i net!, in
mother, wife aiui«H
universe. Not as men
_ !!!•
w jth a stronger, sweeter
j The fact that women ar<V
T j 0 r to men was proved
common mother “live” vd^'-C
,persuaded Adam to eat.
( | eu fruit. m
Take the mother, the one m
bolds the highest position ev
given to human beings. Look at
; bar sphere of usefulness, her scope
u f influence and judgment The
President holds a trivial position
in comparison with the mother's,
w bile he rules the present, she,
bolds the future in her hands.
Jt j s a most responsible duty
rilrtt is placed 'll mother-t to
nourish and r.-ar their children in
a way beneficial to mankind and
pleasing to God.
Women recognize this great re
sponsibility, and it is a
though a pleasure, to meet it bold
ly and say, “I have done all that J
could” ‘ ’Where
is the man o» woman
! does not always remember his or
«« C «nUe, >ovik 8
i words of hope and counsel,
The mother is loved because she
{is loving and forgiving, he
The father i» feared because
is stern and unrelenting.
The wife comes next to the
mother in point of usefulness
the world,
Where is a friend so faithful, or
a heart so loving and sympathetic?
It is the wife who developes within
her husband the seed which were
sown by the mother. Iho world
will reap the harvest.
• Surely no man can doubt the
wisdom and goodness of God when
! he refers to the time that God said
it was not good for man to be alone
<
If a man could have no wife lie
would resemble a ship without a
rudder, able to move, but not able
to move in a definite course.
Husband be candid. Does your
wife not rule you? Does she not,
i by a sweet imperceptible influence
! j guide 6 * your J life, and do you not se
rejoice in this fact?
Bisters, we have a word for you.
You have a great work, to do, aud
it is time that you were beginning
it. You cannot gq into the bank
make » x. i
mg room, Sl u*sp speec 3 on j
politics, but do sometmng .
you can
tar better.
Your plana is at homo wbora yon
may skad your gantla influence
around fathers and brothers, keep
i them from forming bad habits and
j seeking home evil pleasant company. that Make they your may |
so ■
love it far more than any resort of
iniquity. By doing this you ele- \
vate yourself, your brothers and
father, and plant within their
breasts love aud respect for wo
manly purity and helpfulness that
can never be eradicated. )
Vo not think that your life*. |
work ends here. No, you must be
. wife and mother. Seek to make j
yourself woi thy of these positions,
***** ” f ”’ 41 m a ***«
Tis’ woman*’ whole sx stance.”
AN ORIGINAL “PROPOSAL.”
One of the city official, whose
flee is on the second flo >r of the City
Hall, is a very cautious man. They ,
say thai}when he proposed to & young
S)“er.
Mr.S., bcgiui ,a foil.,:
■Mi,,—-).) look like...
“Why, Mr. S., what a questionr*
Of -All course n,U you don’t ” -
jack.,.?"’ Du take me for . i
'
“A jackass? What do vou ask
for? Of coursa I don’t.”
-Very well. You don’t consider
me a harum*8carum good for noth
ing, do yon?”
“Why, I never thought of such a
thing Why, Mr. 8., what put such
1
find me devoid of these objectionable
peculiarities, I have come m the
conclusion that you feel an interest
come^mv wde'*’*" 1 ^ ask ^ ou
“Ttaev wen- married. — Pittsburg
Ptess. j
m
j in monkeystfl Rcvue^l
j well®
j j Froocu^SW
the
j ago, sut s that in v
iat of Sierra LeoncJ
patizes in carrying
mgs of mortars, amt
his Chinese pictures,^
u „! • • . . .
<•!. the -i.-p n.lm-. '
1 a., uuce-.n Egyptians, ...............
e ‘ l considerable service from
j cepbalus, mal remarkable a v*t idv baboon, for its an iuteili
so
« tUL ' (; - 11 ' v;18 8elecle,i bv then '
“ s U)e 8 >' r, ' bo1 of i,UcIlout ‘ 15uir,,,J
describes female i chimpanzee at
a
Loan ^, w “ ich could “ !tk e tllP bo, ls '
sweep the house, and 1 help i turn the ,
. . .
make excellent nurse* for children,
their milk being exceedingly rich in
butter. Hutton’s blaca chimpanzee
knew bow to unlock a door, and if
he did not find the key in the door
W0B j d go aml hunt for n . Tin*
monkey took its meals like a wcll
lired person, ate with a spoon and
fork, used a plate and served itself
* it (, w i„ e la one her letters from
t jj r Malay Peninsula, Miss Bird de»
gC i ii, e8 a dinner to which she was
invited, and at which liar eompan -
ions were two apes. “The apes had j
their curiy, chutney, pine-apple,,
eggs and banana* on porcelain, and j
so had I,” writes the enterprising
lady who speaks ot another a P e >!
family which an ol important, the British member Resident of the at | |
Klang, as walking on its hind leg*,
and going quietly along by her side
*ke a human estoit,. , ia< n< ' 1
even a rudimentary tail, and when
it sat with its arru folded, it looked
looked like a “gentlemanly person
in ..... n ..lose fltiiwe enit ’ ” These facts
”
°P en 11 "ide-fiela of possilnUtie* .......
Africa swarms with large upes, am.
un( * cr proper climatic conditions,
Wli,) ^ treitmen > ll ‘f. rC n °. rea ;
son why tnm verv intclli^ot amiTial
8hou , d not bft raade observe hu
.
mun ,eing ^____
WBr , s jU „ ESOUIJII.
—
A r ew g iuyH since a well known
Qe o )Uaj) ^ w j 10 W as the fortunate
ft fine lot on one „f
t j, e i ea( jj n g resident streetw of me
cityj M y. property for 810,000
^ He wa8 giTon a check for
amounti which was carried in
dua time to one of tho banks. The J
pa ^ yujg teller asked tlin negro how
fae waJjM in , H . h>
iq wants ^ " ai , (iat > ar paper 1 calls
{ur „ thfl „ egro :
>« *>“'1 want $10,000
in cash?”
“Yesso, Bah."
“All right,” anpwered the man!
who shuttle* the bank bills, and in j
five minutes he began piling iho i
money on tin* counter. As he laid
the negro’s packages eves began on the to counter grow j
au< i larger, and finally when been { I
twenty of the packages had
moon,. Th.
1<Mice) intently at the stack ol
3 fo , a then,
with broad , grin . on hi* •• face, said. -i.
a
jiet p.r.Iy«d, Urn; gi.—!
$1.50 and you kin keep ). reel at
that . h “. J f < al1 RfeS1U ’ »_rq LhaUn ia Hn *
uooga luaes.
■—--—
A few ciav* ago a very handsome
*„ 1Da n entered a dry goods house in
>; ew y or k and inqui r ed for a bow.
Tie po!i« ciaik tbre- Mm»lf
b*ck and remarked that he was at
her service.
u YW) but x want a buff, not a
green one,’, was the reply.
The went on measur- *
young man
ng goo ds inlineliately.
a t:
m
v V'd
Grseci
i jj
■ •
'
with and rocks J
axes
proposed to make short work' i
tire doughty deputy marshal,
Hmitli <fc Wesson gently
and tire officer was allowed to
unhurt. Creed say* thitf is tho first
time he was ever run by dog* and *o
badly huggi-(t by the enemy.—
Cartersville Oourant*American.
THE VALUE OF MONEY.
Tench yonr children that money,
honestly cccumulated, is ginned by
cat iMgt, aeeduons toil iu hoiuo lion
orable oceupation; and instead ol
being “filthy lucre, it is tli* rcpie
t. 0 ”T«h«1i' tlio
difference batweeu revering valuable it a» a
good and accomplishing using it «s a good
msuits of to
one’* self and to other*. l each
^^ d “^jt^and
frugmli
tv; dissipation and accumulation,
Farmers, of all men, have the
beat chance to give their children
lessous in tlitlft— practical fact-upon lessons,
object lesson real in the
great and value of money.
y oar cbildret., txotb boys and
a c haucs to earn money for
themselves. It will be far more
Practical value to fliem than if you
simply make them a present of it.
L“t the boys have a patch of
ground to themselves—-cither to«
gether or separate, as may suit
».ioa K l,
to occupy them when not engaged
in their studies. Let them plont
groundpea* melons, popcorn, veg -
‘j 1 ' Showfthem R ,2! (bepde'is
th« most saleable. how
and when to plant, and when to
cultivate. GiveIfiem all the tools
aad *n»Pare nace»«Ma p y 1to a
^ “f scolru.g oL t, .,, lb,U {. XTodd ..l'',]
them
Sol pours out his summer smiles
upon their wear, bucks, lierhem
most tike a paradise about Bneour- ten
o’clock on a Juiy morning.
age the boys to read the newspa
ami other matter you have
ppon the farm topics. Do not over
work them, however. Give them
time for recreation, but
impress upon their minds U:e great
truth 1 h<*re is no excellence
w,tllOBt ittbor ’
~
r
Cr«,l... N.. OrH». r.c.ll. .
»n,e.b.t «».l«r hom.c.,1. .Inch
o«.rr.d m M«u»- th, N.. Or
eana man engaged s " in a friendly
bout
“k be.n« «n»h.<
He was struck unu*r the loft eye
by the foil which despite the bnt
ton uuon lt ueue tratcd to the brain
prrslaciug . death, the Macon
man,
a negro, was killed with an uuibrel •
la He assaulted a companion
nth . rakor. *ko. .ttnnpted to
fend him »if with a closed utnbrel
la. The assailant rushed with full
force upon the point of the ferule,
which entered under his eye and
crashed through into the brain, al
so producing death.
t tun
of: prosecution
iu a verdict of not guilty.
OIO tp.JUHUKB.
An editor died mid went to the
world’s crematory. The devil met
lorn with a tender smile of com*
passion and thus shot oil his
mouth: “For’ one longj year thou
bust meekly borne the ntaiue or
bad spelling that the printer lias
gotten off in the paper. Thy pa¬
per luia gone out at oue debar and
a half, but alas! iho one dollar and
a half lias often failed to come in
for tliy The 1 printer has
paper.
be-devilcd thee for wages every
night - thou
Saturday when, hast
net a darn farthing to thy name.
Men hath tak n thy paper without
paying time for it, then curse thee
for not sending out a better paper,
J lion hast been called dead bead
by the freight conductors and dead
beat by the passenger conductors,
when thou hast shown thy ‘annual’
pass to their envious gaze. Ail
these thing* thou hast home in si¬
lence. Why contest thou heue? Go
up higher, thou poor man, an eterr.K
ty of,rest cau scarcely requite
thee.”
A l’OFl LAK INNOVATION.
^ ft r(Jcent pro „ rmgJYe lUltnnr
I,lirty ia aflor tlu3
^ ^ ^ ^
tnriied to the drawing roenn in a
f ^ j; , mb ‘‘y'
h nd pleased her at the table,
Each one expressed herself'ae.be
f *“« ^ "“""t 1* ! ‘f S E! u'H
What w,ia ltT tho ( .in la ’
quired. The repeated and all
story was he
exclaimed: “The sumo one
told me!”
The host''** complimented bis clover the
fortunate man on
ability. expressed himself being
He as
gratified agd in love u ting itli prog res
muS
.j, to provid one good
a torv for nim-.teeu women than
! nineteen stories for ono woman.
meo.-Cmc»mti t.
i,u,rer.
THE SIZE OF IT.
It, is announced that Joe Howard,
the$2,000 a letter sketch writer of the
New York World, will shortly pul**
lish the life ot a lately deceased cele*
biitv. The opening chapter will
probably lead off in this way:
He is dea I.
Did yau say dead?
Bet your boot*.
Very dead?
Dead a* a door nail.
And why so?
Want of breath, my aon.
So. But who?
Don’t you know, why—etc.
P" " ■
qdied; ‘my all was in
Can’t you slop the train?*
“ 'The tile is a mile behind us.
It's against orders, but I'll let you
through without additional charge. „
Neit time keep your head in the
car.’
( But my hat,* I exclaimed with
a bold air. T lost it through your
rudeness and I must be indemni¬
fied’
“ ‘Indemnified nothing. There’s
no hat store on the train.’
‘“But you have got to get me a
hat just the name.'
“ ‘tlh, 1 guess not..’
l« < Well, 1 guosH yes.’
U t What are you going to do
about it?’
ft t Report you to Marvin Hugli
Itt,’ I yelled with defiant mien.
“ ‘That’s a chestnut? Go to
sleep. I’ll wake you up W'heu wo
get to Chicago.*
“This is wlmt l did, and when I
woke up (the train was then pass¬
ing Rom Hill cemetery) I found
lhis new tile on my head. You chu
see by the initials just above the
sweatl>and that the hat belonged to
the conductor. I didn’t see him
again during tho rest of tho trip,
but I’ll bet dollars to clam shells
that that folltiw would kick him¬
self. from here to Bturgeon Bay if
ho knew how beautifully ho had
been sold.”—Chicago Herald.
FUNSTER’S CATEC1SX.
Professor: “Why does a duck
put his head under water?”
Pupil: “For divers reasons.”
Professor: “Why does he go on
laud?”
Pupil: “For sundry reasons.”
Professor: “INext. You may tell
us why a duck puts his hoad under
water.”
becond Pupil: “To liquidate his
bill.”
Professor- “And why does he
go on land?”
Second Pupil: “To imtko a run
on the bank.”
'1 wo [jassengers on the tram be¬
came involved in a very heated cons
troversy, which finally waxed so hot
that one of them called the other a
bar.
vW hat’s that, a liar?” and he was
on h t h feet.
“Tes, a liar,” was the emphatic
response, “or my name ain’t John
Smith, of Smith ville.”
“What, the hardware merchant?”
“The same.”
“Mr. Smith, I’m delighted to
know yon. 1 represent Messrs.
Sharpedg <fe Co., of New York, and
can show you a line of samples that
will make your biir curl.”
“Js that mj train?” asked a tray
eler at the Grand Junction Depot df
a lounger.
“I don’t know,” was the reply.
“I see it’s got the name of some rail*
road company on the side, and ex¬
pect it belongs to them. Have yau
lost a train anywhere?”
W. G. Ford, one of the Macon
mobbers for whom a reward was of¬
fered, has been arrested and lodgetb
iu the Macon jail. A