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Oct. 8, 187.1. lv
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May 7 ts
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March 12. Om
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April ‘J 3m
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AUGUSTA, GEORGIA 1
sepl 1 ts
Notice.
'***& - Thomson I
.in offering my services to the
.u. >n* of the town »nd country, geuer illy,
•s S Mechanic and Contractor for the build
}n<r a**d repairing of houses, and the rep-.ir
iiug „f cotton gins, and the building and re
pairing of mills and water wheels. After
an experienc ‘of 28 years,! feel confident
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■ both in my work and prices.
-Oct- . 4 t E. M. FITTS.
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Oct. 7. ts,
Now is the time
To get your Winter Hats.
AIRS. IVOR RILL
has received the finest and best assorted
Stock of Millinery goods and Novelties ever
brought to Thomson, consisting in part of
Ladies, Misses and Children's Hat* and
Bonnets;
Old Lathes* Bonnets and Caps, Flowers
and Plumes of all kinds;
Lace Collars. Mourning Collars;
Black and White Lace, of all widths;
Ruffs for the neck. Bilk Tie*;
Ribbons in every color;
Crape and Love Veils;
Hair Braids, and Switches :
Jet Bracelets, Jet Setts, Coronets;
Velveteens, of all colors, Silk Velvet;
Velvet Ribbon and a great variety of
goo Is not mentioned.
Call and examine before buying.
I am sure vou will be pleased in price
and quality. * Oct. 15, 1873. 3m
|tlr£hif)ie ‘tHreMg Journal
VOLUME III—NUMBER 43.
JBTi '-smM
For over FORTY YEARS this
Purely Vegetable
Ll\ ER MEDICINE has proved to be the
Great Unfailing Specific
for Lives Complaint and it* painful off
spriug, DYSPEUSIA, CONSTIPATION,
Jaundice, Bilious aVuicks, SICK HEAD-
At, li *>, Colic, Impression of Spirits, SOUR
oi'OMACri, Heartburn, CHILLS AND
FEYEH, Ac., <src
After years of careful experiments, to meet
a great and urgent demand, we now produce
from our original Genuiue Powders.
The Prepared.
A Liquid form of SIMMONS’LIVER REGU
LATOR, containing all its wonderful and
valuable properties, and offer it in
Tne Dollar Bottles.
The Towders, (priceas before,) 1? 100 per
package. Sent by mail, 1.04
MT CAUTION !
Buy no Powders or PREPARED SIM
MONS’ LIVER REGULATOR, unless in
our engraved wrapper, with Trade mark,
Stamp and Signature unbroken. None
other is genuine.
J. H. ZEILIN & CO..
MACON, GA. AND PHILADELPHIA.
SOLO BY ALL DRUGGISTS.
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January 2D, IS7-* —3m.
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J_ HE Guide i« published Quarterly.—
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ev ttj the amount of one , dollar may also ol
der 25 cent* worth extia—the price for the
Guide. The first number is beautiful, giv
ing plans for m iking Rural Homes, Dining
Table Decorations, Window Gardens, Ac.,
and a mass of information invaluable to the
lover of flowers. 150 pages on fine tinted pa
per some 500 engravings, and a superb col
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"The first edition of 200,000 printed in Eng
lish and Germrn.
JAMES VICK, Rochester, N. Y.
March 12
Columbia Institute,
ThomNou, |Gn.
HE Fall Term begins on Monday, the
18th of August, and closes on Friday, the
28th of November. For particulars ap
ply to ,T. W. SHANK,
July 30. 3m Teacher in Charge,
C. E. DODD. H. L. MEALINO.
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WHOLESALE AND RETAIL DEALERS IN
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jan 2(!m0 AUGUSTA, GA.
DR. HOLLAND,
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Can be found at his Operating Room in
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month, where he will remain two weeks, or
! more except in “cases of sickness.” aug7tf,
THOMSON, McDUFFIE COUNTY, GA, NOVEMBER 5,1873.
SELECT MISCELLANY,
THE WIDOW.
i I'he two years Var with Mexico was
rife with many thrilling incidents, the
of which have never found their
Way to the reports of commanders, para
graphs of newspapers, nor to the numer
ous volumes written npou this prolific
chapter of the world’s history. It would
tuke a thousend hands and a thousand
pens to record the moiety of the surpri
sing events and romantic circumstances
that have transpired in the war. Every
soldier lias a story of his own, told in his
own way, of his own experience ; and
each soldier’s story is worth listening to.
Iu the month of August last I was
a passenger on board a steamer as
cending the Mississippi. On board-were
several returned officers who had served
on the field of Mexico. A voyage of four
days in their company gave me an op
portunity of listening to the recital of
many a liair-breadth escape and daring
deed in the “ imminent deadly breach
not that tho brave actors thereiu were
fond of boasting, but, on the contrary,
were retiring and diffident touching the
discourse of tlieir experience. Neverthe
less, having nothing to do to pass away
the time, we succeeded, Btcp by step, iu
drawing them out.
Our noble looking corporal, who spoke
well and knew how to describe what he
had seen and taken part in, particularly
interested us. He had a rare faculty to
bring the battle-field and the individual
combat directly before his auditors—and
in a picture of individual power, that
most pleases the listener.
“ I have seen a woman face a fire that
appalled our regiment and made us keep
cover."
“Ah! how was that?" "Who was
she?” “Was she young and pretty ?”
“An American or a Senorito?” “When
was it, and how ?" was the string of in
terrogations that nbsniled the rencounter.
‘‘ It was on the second day before
Mexico. The particulars are tiiese :Iu
our company was a mere lad of sixteen,
a darling young Virginian, the lavorite
for his cheerfulness, courage and youth ;
aud here let me add, talking of courage
und r fire, give me a regiment of well
grown boys, from fifteen to nineteen.
Nothing can withstand their courage.
Boys bound and leap over the ground as
if they were at play, and dash at any
thing without thought, like so many
"bltd pups. For a hard fight ill the
I Streets, or for a headlong rush, give me
j tne boys. They are ported imps for
j fight.
“ This boy, some weeks before, had
leaped a fence and climbed a parapet,
some hundred yurds ahead of his compa
ny. ®hd was taken prisoner, though not
without killing three Mexicans and woun.t
ing the colonel, before he gave in. His
mother, widow (though a Italy, aud why
not), heard of it, and as he was her only
sou, yearned lor his release. She had
no money, no influential friends, fciiul
deuly she recollected that sho was a Mu
sou s widow—hope W'as lighted up iu her
bosom by the thought, aud she dried her
tears. She said, I willtestthe talismauic
power of the order my liusbane loved
aud revered so highly.”
There was a movement of interest with
the listeners. The soldier, evidently
gratified by the size and eagerness ul his
encircling audience, resumed his narra
tive.
“ She sold some little articles of value,
and with the money she reached Wash
ington city ; she reached the Secretary
of tho War Department, on foot, aud
dusty. With difficulty she obtaiued au
dience with the great man, for our
big secretaries are as big lords, only
wanting the title. A poor soldier or a
poor woman stands a poor chance with
quality.”
“ Well, ma’am,” said he crustily, as
she entered, and he saw how dusty she
looked ; but, when she removod her veil
an < lie saw she was lady-like u”'l hand
som : too, he half arose and pointed iC a
chair. Well, she told him of her sou’s
captu e, and that she wanted to go to
him.”
"I cannot help you, ma’am. Very ex
pcus.ve ! He will be exchanged by and j
by—better wait.”
" You ca i help me to a passport, sir,”
she saiu, nothing daunted.
" Os course ; they can’t refuse that to
you at tire Secretary of State’s office.
You say you are poor. How do you ex
pect to pay the expenses of a journey to
Mexico? It ib a visionary scheme. Good
morning, ma’am.”
“ Sir, if you could recommend me to
the care of the officer in command of the
regiment that sails lrom Baltimore .”
“Impossible, ma’am.” To the page
in wait ing.) “W 1 o did you say waited ?
—tell him I am at ,’ei.ure.”
“ Are you a Mason ?” said the widow
to the Secretary, making a sign for the
page to delay.
“Yes, ma’am.”
“lam ft Mason’s widow. My son is a
Mason’s son. I appeal to you, sir, iu
that capacity, aud by the honor and
truth of your honorable order,” said the
widow firmly.
The Secretary’s manner at once changed
to one of courteous interest. “ Stay,”
he said to the page, “Jake a seat,
ma’am. ’***
And from that moment the affairs of
the widow took anew turn. The Secre
tary j avi her a politely written note to
the I ecretary of State, who, in turn,
gave her a letter to the commandant at
New Orleans, to furnish her a free pas
sage to Vera Cruz. The Lodges, at the
instigation of the Secretary, advanced
her tl re. hundred dollars, and the widow
left Washington on her mission. The
stage ageLt who was at I’ittsburg, on her
showing him a letter which the Grand
Master furnished her with (but which
she could not herself read, it being
writtt n in a mysterious cypher, but she
knew it was potent), would not receive
anything for the passage. The captain
of the sleamboat at Pittsburg had no
sooner deciphered it than he gave her
his be st stateroom and her passage free
to New Orleans, so that when she reached
there the had two hundred and ninety
dollars of the three hundred left.
Here she waited on Gen. , in com
mand of the station, w ho instructed Col.
the troops to Mexico, to see that she had
a free passage given her on the first
steamer. By all the officers she was
treated with the greatest politeness and
delicacy, for they were all Masons, and
they felt bound to her by n tie stronger
than that which binds brother and sister
—and they felt a pleasure iu the oppor
tunity afforded them of carrying into
practice the beautiful and systematic
theory of their order.
After passage of live days, she reached
Vera Cruz. Having a letter to the
American Governor, she sent it to him,
enclosing the talismauic card just spoken
of, and which thus far had proved
stronger than gold. The Governor im
mediately called upen her at the house
of Dramond, and offered lier transporta
tion to the City of Mexico,by a train that
was to start next morning. Tho Colonel
who commanded tho train took charge
of her, afforded every futility and com
fort on the journey, providing her
with a carriage when the country was
level, and with mules and palan
quins, over the mountains. Arriving
within twenty miles of the city, they
were overtaken by n detachment of
dragoons escorting a government official
to the city. Anxious to get on faster,
she asked permission to join it ; and
though informed of the danger and fa
tigue of a haul ride at night and on horse
back at a steady trot, she was willing to
try it, tlint. she might the sooner see her
sou, Provided with ft ucet end gentle
gaited Mexican horse, she took her place
by the troops, escorted by officers, and
never flagged with fatigue till the tower
of Mexico was in sight.
“Brave Indy! But where was her son,
and how was she to get into Mexico, it
as I understand you, you had not taken
the city.”
“And where was it she stood fire ?’
asked the gentlcmun dressed in a broad
hat.
“All in good time, gentlemen,” re
sponded the narrator. “As I said at
first, we were fighting the second day ’
battle before the gates when she arrived ;
but her sou was in the city where he
had been for four or five weeks in
prison. I will tell yon how I first came
to see her. Our regiment had been
doing its best to keep 800 cavalry from
joining the left wing of the Mexican
army when we were ordered to face
about to the left and drive a body of the
enemy from a hill on which they were
forming with artillery. It was when the
company I was attached to was crossing
a ravine to fulfil the order, that we en
countered a body of horsemen. At first
we took them for the enemy but soon
saw they were Americans. They came
on slowly, as if fatigued with hard ser
vice. I saw a lady riding by the side of
their captain ; such a sight at such a
time drew the attention of more than
one of us. The party was the one from
Vera Cruz, escorting the officer. They
were slowly making their way to Gen.
Scott’s quarters, too tired to a man to
engage in the fight.
“At this moment Gen. Scott and staff
-v, when the official from Wash
came u* •
ington pi ace J his P auket of lettere in h,s
hands, glad to <£* ,lis lon 8 er f an , d ’
The General immediacy ordered the
escort to seek quarters, and U 3 -* ndln S
on to another part of the field, wtib n 1
heard the lady say earnestly to the
captain: “I cannot delay, sir, one hour
within sight of the city that holds my
son a prisoner. I must see him. ”
“The city must be taken first,” he
answered.
“I cannot wait ! my son may be ill
dying. An hour’s delay may forever
remove him from me ! I will enter the
city.”
“You will surely be killed? You can
reach it only by crossing the battle
field,” said the officer.
“I have not travelled frtlm Virginia to
the gates of the city to fear to enter
them. Thanks, a thousand thanks, sir,
for your kindness and attention. I shall
always remember your officers with
gratitude. But do not detain me. —
Yonder is the gate that leads to the city.
I will enter through it and search for my
son.”
“You are mad,” I cried, for I had
lingered to see what she would do,
surprised enough at her danger and reso- \
lution, and as she woe dashing forward j
TERMS-TWO DOLLARS IN ADVANCE.
over the field I seized her pony by the
rein, and pointed out the almost impossi
ble dangers and difficulties that beset
her path.
“This is no time,” said Bhe to the
officer who rode up to her side, “to talk
to me of prudence and fear. I am told
that Gen. Santa Anna is in the midst of
yonder glittering group. I shall seek
him and place in his hands the Masonic
letter I have borne so far and so well—
for he is a Mason and will listen to me. ”
“War destroys all brotherhood,” said
the officer, who I judge was not a Mason.
The lady did not wait to reply, but
watching her a moment, she struck her
pony smartly, and started off across the
plain.
At the same moment a masked battery,
five hundred yards in advance had
opened upon our negiment, which, after
having been half mowed down, began to
return to tuke position iu the ravine,
under temporary cover until they should
be reiuforeed.
“Yes.right across the field of slaughter
and winged iron, I saw the lady gadop
on her white pony, avoiding the platoons
of retreating men, by a semi-circle round
tlieir Hank. The next moment she was
coursing over the ground iu their rear,
the buttery iu full play. Half our ineu,
seeing hers,topped forgetful of the storm
ol irou, to loliow witU tlieir «■}*« whtst
seemed to them an apparition. I kept
my eyes on her and so did the officers,
exacting eacli instant to see her struck.
But on she went, galloping iu top speed,
her air fearless.
“The woman’s lore for her son ha*
made her wild,” said a dragoon captain.
“She will perish.”
“A mother’s love is stronger than
death,” I replied. “I believe she will
reach Santa Anna in safety, and get to
see lier boy.”
“She deserves it,” he answered. The
same moment a reinforcement came up
and were ordered to take the Fort and
we did take it.
After we had taken the city, I learned
the fate of the American lady.
“She was killed, of course,” said the
mail dressed in the broad liat.
“I’ll bet teu to one ou her,” said Ten
nessee Btrongly.
The last gentleman is right. She
went over the field through the hottest
fire of that day, and reached Santa
Anna as sound as a roach. He was not
a little astonished to see her, you Ziiuy
be assm> J, • put lie received her politely,
and when she told him, iu French, her
story, he told her he would oblige her,
not merely liecause she was a woman,
but more because she was a Mason’s
widow. “For,” said he, “lam a Mason
myself, and know the obligation of tl.e
order in war us well as in peace. Your
sou shall be liberated, though he w fund
ed my mutemal nephew, so that he has
since died, when he was captured. But
by the tenure of the letter you bear I
have no power to refuse your command. ”
“He then gave her au escort to the
city, with an order for her sou to be
given to her arms. The order whs obey
ed, and that very day, as she had prom
ised, she embraced her long lost boy
again. So much for a woman’s standing
fire, gentlemen and, 60 much for being a
Mason’s widow.”
At this crisis of the story wc reached
Smithland. Our group was at once
broken up and dispersed; each man, no
doubt, going away with greater reve
rence for woman’s courage, and greater
reverence for maternal love.
This is how a country exchange puts
it : “ The sad effects of matrimony were
never more territdy depicted than the
other day, when a meek-eyed man, who
had been married aliout a year, patroled
the village street all day trying to swap
a meerschaum pipe for a beoond-haud
cradle.”
A Danbury boy who reads the paper
went to his father with a rope in his
band and told that worthy that if he did
not give him fifty cents to buy a two
bladed jack-knife he would forthwith
hang himself. It was the place of the
old man to say : “Heaven forgive you,
my son, for the awful thought, here’s
tlio fifty cents.” He didn’t say it, how r
ever. He merely twined his fingers in
the young man’s tresses aud bumped his
head against the door jam until the
HUK ‘ide thought it was 4th of July night.
Grcmhi.ebs J t Newspapers. —Horace
Greeley, in speak.'.’ l !’ of gTUmblers at
newspapers, thus hit R‘ e nail on the
head :
It is strange how close men read the
papers. We never say anything that
anybody don’t like but we soon hear of
it and everybody tells us of it. How
ever, once iu a while we happen to say a
good thing, we never hear of that; no
body seems to notice that. W’e may pay
some man a hundred compliments, and
give him a dozen puffs, and he takes
it all as a tribute to his greatness and he
never thinks of it, never thinks it does
him any good. But if we happen to say
things this man don’t like, or something
he imagines is a reflection on him or his
character, see how quickly be flares up
and gets mad about it. All our evils are
duly charged to us, but we never, appa
rently, get any credit for what good we
do.
An Arctic Eevelation. —Singular
Discovery.
The New York World is responsible
for the following somewhat romantic in
cident :
As there is nothing so solemn in na
ture as the vast desolation that reigns
about the North Pole—virgin yet of the
presence of intruding feet or sail or any
evidence of our human kind—so when
we catch vague glimpses of that land of
silence, or are enabled to lift the curtain
of ignorance that hangs about its out
skirts, nothing can more strike the mmd
with its impressiveness. We all know
that in some lonely, ice-bound spot lie
the remains of brave explorers—Sir John
Franklin and his company—never, per
haps, to be brought back to the world of
gietn fields and pleasant places. But
sometimes the secrets of the far North
are unlocked ; sometimes the shadow of
ignorance which envelops it and hides it
from our sight gives way to the light of
know ledge, and the world reads a curi
ous story in the revelation.
It has lieen reserved lor Captain Carl
sen, a Norwegian navigator, to pierce
this veil of nijstery, in one instance, at
least, and to make a discovery which, in
the recital of it, seemsmorelikea strange
iairy tale of the far North than a sobei
narrative of our prosaic day. While so
many brave men are exploring the Arctic
legions, searching for that North Pole,
the geogra] liicul phantom which ever
allures aud ever eludes, a curious interest
will attach to his discovery. But in or
der to appreach this subject we must
follow a circuitous route—we must go
back nearly 278 years, to a period late in
the sixteenth century, about the year
1590, w hen one William Bareutz, a Dutch
navigator, sailed awny on his second
voyage of discovery, to trace out, if pos
sible, the Northwest passage—that fa
mous imagined highway to Asia by way
of the Arctic ocean, the fact of the exis
tence of which so many other navigators
have vainly endeavored to realize. Ba
rentz failed in his search, but he discov
ered Spitsbergen, the vast archipelago
which lies in the heart of the Arctic
ocean. He found it expedient to land
upon the coaßt, and there he built huts
for shelter and for temporary residence
for himself and for his company. Here
he tarried during the dreary months of
an Actio winter, ami in due course of
time abandoned the spot, leaving the
huts and their contents, and returned to
his own country, never "to revisit his
quaint settlement.
’lines centuries nearly have passed'
away since that event. The years liaVe
Come and gone over those silent witnesses
to the presence of the ancient mariner
and his sturdy crew. In all that time,
as we may believe, no living thing has
invaded the sacred solitude of this spot,
huuuted with the memories of that com
ing, long ago, of Bnrentz and his men.
Possibly, from a distance, the walrus
and the seal may have gazed upon it,
and from his rapid flight in the ether
some arctic bird of passage may have
turned a curious eye upon the scene.
But no dust has settled there ; no moth
has stolen in to bring decay. Even the
elemeuts seemed to liuve abated their
severity, and to have protected with a
kindly hand the legacy left to their undi
vided keeping.
The sequel almost partakes of the char
acter of one of those tales wherewith the
princess in the Arabian Nights deferred
her threatened and delayed fate by
whiling away the tedious evenings other
cruel caliph. One day, in the year 1870,
Captain Carlsen bore shoreward in liig
ship to this icy coast of Spitzbergen. He
lauded at the spot where Bareutz bad
lauded before him, and to his perplexed
j tu t a appeared the vision of the old en
campment.
The huts were still there, just as
Mynheer had left them nearly three hun
dred years ago. In the rude hearth lay
the lelics of the utterly dead and long
extinguished fire. Upon u shelf were
books from tlie old Dutchman’s library
—a work on navigation, the latest edi
tion published before be bad sailed,
and a history of China, translated
into Dutch. Jugs and dishes, wherein
had been prepared the drink and food of
the adventurers, were scattered here aud
there, and even a pair of shoes was
found which had belonged to alittle cabin
boy, who, as say the records, had died
upon the voyage. There were also quaint
engravings, and a curious mathematical
instrument intended to assist in obtain
ing longitude. All these articles were
carefully collected and were brought to
Europe on Carlsen’s return.
There is a touch of the pathetic in this
revelation of the long kept secret of the
,-irctics. It is as pathetic, indeed, as that
story" of another old Dutch 6eaman,
Mynheer' Vanderdecken, whose ship—we
have it upon excellent authority of sailors
who come to port, and who themselves
have witnessed the Bfrange spectacle
may be seen, at dawn and twilight, in
fair weather and foul, rushing like the
ghostly ship that it is through the startled
sea, or beating aimlessly about the ap
proaches to the Cape of Good Hope.
An old offender was brought before a
new justice, and introduced as John
Simmons, alias Smith, alias Jones, I
will try the two women first. Bring in
Alice Jones,” said the thick headed
justice.
Advertising Haiea.
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Each subsequent insertion 75
One square three months 10 #0
Onesqareeix months 15 00
One square twelve months 20 00
One quarter column twelve months. 40 00
Mali column six months 60 00
Half column twelve months. 75 00
One column twelve months 125 00
fdT Ten linos or less considered a square
Ah fractions of squares counted as squares
WISE A Xl> OTHER WISE.
A couple of drunken got
into the gutter, and after floundering
sometime, one of them mumbled, “I
say, let’s go to another house, this hotel
leaks.”
Young men desiring to color their
meerschaum pipes, but unable to stand
the pressure, have adopted the follow
ing ingenious and harmless method :
they fill the pipe with navy ping, attach
a small air-pump, then one man works
the pump aud another spits. They say
it is lots of fun, especially the man who
spits.
A Franklin county undertaker, who
was not used to conducting funerals, re
cently rose at the conclusion of a funeral
address ard said that the corpse would
now go round and take a last look at the
mourners.
Somebody mentioned the other day
something about jokes that are ten years
old, whereat a party inquired whether
such were decade jokes,
A melancholy lover says it is a great
comfort to be alone, especially when one’s
sweetheart is with him.
A pleasant looking gentleman stepped
out on the platform, and inhaling the
flesh air, enthusiasricaliy observedto the
breakman, “isn’t this invigorating ?”
“No, sir ; it is Harrisburg,” said the con
scientious employee.
A man who wanted to be a minister,
said that he believed that he had been
called to labor in the Lord’s bam yard.
Philadelphia, not content with chroni
cling human longevity within its bound
aries, reports tbedemise of a canary bird
nineteen years old, and asks, can-ary
place equal that ?
A witty clergyman accosted by an old
acquaintance by the name of Cobb, re
plied : “ I don’t know you, sir 7” “My
name is Cobb,” rejoined the man, who
was half seas over. “ Ah, sir,” replied
the clergyman, “you have so much eora
on you that 1 did not see the cob.”
An obituary notice in a New England
pap>er concludes with the information
t hat the deceased “ leaves two infant
daughters both girls.
A Detroit boy knocked at the door and
carelessly inquired of the roan of the
house : “ Are you going to move to-day?”
“ No,” was the answer. “I’ll bet you $25
you arc !” responded the boy. “ Why,
you impudent dog ?” “ Cos, your roof’s
a blazing,” screams the adolescent rascal,
as he runs for his life ; and it was true.
One of the late boys, while reading a
chapter in Genesis, pausld to ask his
mother if boys in the olden times used
to do their sums on the ground. It was
discovered that he had been reading the'
passage, “ and the sons of men multiplied
on the face of the earth.”
The Medical llecord says : We re
cently saw upon a fence in the interior
of this State the advertisement : “Use
Dr. ’s Anti-Bilious Pills,” under
which some irreverent wag had written,
“and prepare to meet thy God,"
What is the difference between elec-,
tricity and a fool ? One is simply mar
velous, the other is marvelously simple.
An editor’s pistol having been stolen,
he advertises that if the thief will return
it he will give him the contents and no
questions asked.
A faithful brother in a Fairchild, Con
necticut, church, recently prayed for the
absent members, “who were prostrated
on beds of sicknesß and chairs of well-,
ness. ”
A clergyman in a strange parish, wish- ,
mg to know whut the people thought of
his preaching, “interviewed” the sexton, ,
and asked him what the people said
about Mr. Jones, his predecessor, “Oh,"
replied the sexton, “they say he is not
sound.” “Well, and what do they say
about the new minister?” “Oh, they
say he is all sound.”
An old woman accosted two. gentlemen •
in Quincy market, one day, with the
following negative inquiry: “Gentle
men, you hain’t none on you seen noth
ing of no snuff-box nowhere round here
no time to-day, with no snuff in it, hain’t
yer?" They said,. “Yes, they hadn’t
neither.”
“Why don’t you get down and lead
the horse ? That is the way to keep ■
warm,” said a gentleman to a boy one ■
cold day. “No,” replied the American i
youth, “it is a b-b-boriowed horse, and
I’ll ride him if I freeze.”
A Michigan paper speaks of a ministe
who had been called elsewhere, “‘the
longest settled American pastor in this
city.” It fails to give the average length
of pastors settled or unsettled.
A Chicago paper has a clever notice of
a large-eared dwarf-elephant, newly im
ported from the East Indies, and re
marks, in conclusion, that “its ears
would attract attention even in Louis
ville.”
A smart boy in one of the public
schools of Cadiz, Pa., having been Re
quired to write a composition on some
part of the human body, expanded as
follows : “ The throat—A throat is con
venient to have, especially for roosters
and ministers. The former eats com
aud crows with it; the latter preached
through his’n and ties it up "