Newspaper Page Text
<£t)e JHcDuffie Journal. |
A Beal Live Country Paper. Published
Every Wednesday Morning, by
WHI PK & HUDSON .
Terms of Subscription.
One copy, one year $2.00
One copy, six months 1-00
Ten copies, in clubs, one year, each.... 1.50
Single copies 5c ts.
Q3~ All subscriptions invarihly in advance.
BUSINESS CARDS.
I) . F lit VIX G ,
THOMSON, GA.,
Dealer in Boots and Shoes,
lift* pow on hand a complete stock of
Ladies’ Gents' and Children Wear.
Call and examine for yourselves.
Oct. 14, 1974. ' 3m
R. W. H. NEAL,
ATTBHNBY AT LAW,
THOMSON, GA.
Office. —Over R. H. Bush's Store.
H. C. RONEY,
ATTOHNKY AT LAW.
THOMSON,* GA.
«W Will practice in the Augusta, North
eru and Middle Circuits. uolyl
CHARLES S. DuBOSE,
ATTUK'\EY AT LAW,
WARRtNTON, GA.
C3T Will practice in the courts of the
Northern, Middle and Augusta Circuits.
jrTr.
Attorney at Law,
WABUENTON, GA.
OS" Due dilligence given to all business
entrusted to his care. By permission he
refers to
p H. Mell, Athens, Ga.
c’ol C. W. Dußose. Sparta, Ga.
Ex-Justice W. W. Montgomery, Savan
nab.Ga. _ Fel> - 4 - ts
PAUL 0. HUDSON,
AITORNEY A T LA W,
Thomson, Oit-
Will practice in the Superior Courts of
the Augusta, Northern and Middle Circuits,
and in the Supreme Court, and will give
attention to all cases in Bankruptcy.
Aug. 25, 1*74. ts
(Central Ijotel,
MRS. W. M. THOMAS,
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
seplltf _____
PAL ME R HOU SE .
(Over Biguon A Crumps Auction Store.)
2Ht Ilroad Street, Augusta, Georgia#
J. /. ELM E U, Proprietor.
Good board furnished by the week, month
or day.
April 15 ts
A. >. CLAEK,
DEALER IN
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry,
Spectacles, Eye-Glasses, Etc.
Watches <fc Clocks Repaired & Warranted
JEWELRY MADE AMD REPAIRED
ALL KINDS OF HAIR BRAIDING DONE.
(&r 184 Broad Street, Augusta, Ga.—
Next to the Telegraph Office.
Aug. 12 1874. «m
c. E* DOI)D. MEALING.
C. E, DODD & CO.,
HAVE REMOVED TO 219 BROAD ST.,
Opposite the Central Hotel,
UGCSTA, GA.
Call and see our Styles of
MENS’ BOYS’ AND CHILDREN’S
HATS.
Novembei 5, 1873. 6m
A RARE GPPJRTuNin.
circumstances being such that I can
not travel, I will sell one-half or all of the
territory of Georgia, which is now un
sold, for
Shield’s Patent Stock-Yoke.
If I can sell as many as fifty counties to
one man. I will dispose of the right so that
an energetic man can make one thousand per
cent, by re-selling the counties.
I will take in payment, leal estate, town
property or stock.
I refer any one wishing to purchase to
Hodo and Lazenby, Agents in McDuffie
county, and to those who have purchased
and tried the Yoke.
Address by letter or in person,
W. H. HAMMETT,
Social Circle, Ga.
Sept. 30, 1873. ml
11. IVlarwliall,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER,
Tno.nso.r, <-.i.
SdT Plans. Estimates, Ac., furnished.
Work Solicited.
<HT REF KREN CES: Town Council of
Thomson; T. E. and A. M. Massengale
Gunn’s Mills, Ga.
Aug. _U, 1874.' 3m
Dissolution of Copartnership.
qJHE Copartnership heretofore existing
1 between JAS. L. HARDAWAY and W.
M. HARDAWAY, under the firm name and
style©J. L. AW. M. HARDAWAY is this
day dissolved.
Either party is authorized to settle the
affairs of the old firm
JAS. L. HARDAWAY,
Oct. 3d. lm W. M. HARDAWAY.
A GENTS WANTED—SS to $lO made
daily. Samples mailed free. N. H.
WHITE, Newark, N. J.
P~ A _ tf*C'Ar , r.!sy! w»n!*£f AHrt*»«*9©fw«r*lT>wj>«*
f'J r-le.of elf *ci, >otin< orold, oik# more &iou< /*
f"c n»4n lut-it »(V. or sll tb« tiise(hei'.(anythin
t|*c. rarlicjLuif.ee. A4<iri:£aU.Muuoj)A£o.,rv;iUu4,Ji*lii#.
(The JUcUufltc Uteltlg journal.
VOLUME TV—NUMBER 44.
Thomson High School
FOR
BOYS AND GIRLS.
T
X HE Spring Session of this School will
op«n on Monday the 19th day of January,
and will continue six scholastic months.,
The Fail Session
WILL BEGIN AUGUST 10,1874
and continue four scholastic months.
Board can be procured in private families
at sls, per month.
For particulars apply to
N. A. LEWIS, Prin.,
Thomson, Ga.
______ iy _
A •
Fact for the People. The Cumberland
University Business College and Tele
graph Institute, at Lebanon. Tennessee;
and Bryant and Stratton Business Col
lege and Telegraph Institute, at Nash
ville, Tennessee, are the leading Actual
Fusmess Colleges in the South and
West. A
SITUATION
for all worthy graduates in Telegraphy, is
GUARANTEED
as soon as the course of instruction is
completed,
OR ONE-HALF
of all the money paid for •
THE TUITION
will, within thirty days, be
REFUNDED.
All modern improvements in Business
training. Rates to suit the hard time.
Session perpetual. For particulars, ap
ply in person, or address the Principal,
THOMAS TON JOY,
Lebanon, Toon.
Or Nashville, Tenn.
January 6, 1874. ly [o2liaug]
l)K. JAMES ». JONES. J. P. JONES.
J. S. Jones & Son,
a k o € mm m
a ]v r>
COMtSUSSIOB MERCHANTS,
THOMSON, GA.
Having gone entirely into the sale of
Staple and Fancy Groceries, take pleasure
in announceing to then- friends and the
public generally that they now have and
will constantly keep on hand a
FULL AND WELL SELECTED " TOCK OF
Staple and Fancy Groceries, principal
among which may be found Bacon, Flour,
Sugar, Coffee, Mackerel, of the finest grades
Syrup, Molasses of every grade, Cheese,
Crackers, Pearl Grits, Hominy, Rice, Hard,
pure Liverpool Salt, Go-then, and country
butter. In their line of
FANCY GROCERIES
they do not hesitate to say that, they have
the finest variety ever exhibited in this mar
ket. In the selection may always be found
OANNKD
Lima Beans, Greon Cora, Fresh Salmon,
Fresh Mackerel, Fresh Peaches, Pine Apples,
Pears, Apricots, Oysters, Mince Meats.
Pickles, both domestic and imported
JIELLI I<>4,
Preserved Plums, Damsons, Raspberries,
Blackberries, Lime. Pepper Hash, Pepper
and Worcestershire Sauce,
Candies, Chocolate,
both in drops and for tho table, Condensed
Milk, extracts of all kinds. Apples, Oranges,
Cocoanuta, Almonds, Pecans, Brazil nuts,
English Walnuts Ac.
They also have a fine assortment of To
baccos, Segars, Pipes, Smoking Tobacco,
Tea. Soap, Plain and Toilet Lunch Baskets,
Cream Tarter. Soda Yeast Powders, all of
which they arc offering ~s low cash prices
that cannot fail to suit all.
Our motto is still “Quick Sales and Small
Profits. ”
JAMES S. JONES <t SON. '
[mr 13yl] dec 11 Thomson, Ga.
IMPROVED
GEORGIA COTTON PRESS,
PATENTED MARCH, 1870, BY
PENDLETON & BOARDMAN,
AUGUSTA, GA.
THE sat inf action this PRESS has given in
the past, the great improvements made
on it, and the fact of its being from forty to
fifty dollars cheaper than any other good
press, should induce planters and others to
send for one of our new circulars be
fore purchasing. We also manufacture
Irons for Water Power Presses and Screw
Presses. Address,
PENDLETON <fc BOARDMAN,
Foundry und Machine Works,
Kolloek Street, Augusta Ga.
June 24, 1874. 4in
E, Me SCMUTBiBEBo
importer and dealer in
WINES, ALES,
] pOUTEKS,
Cigars, Etc?.
Comer Hroiid nll <1 Jacli
son Street,
AUGUSTA, GA.
May 7 ts
TO YOUNG MEN.
XT
JL OR thedevelopementof Business talents
and cuaracter, and the preparation of young
and middle aged men fur the counting
house and business pursuits, the best facili
ties are offered at
MO ORE’S
Southern Business University,
Atlanta, Ga. The largest and best Practi
cal Business School in the South, Students
received at any time.
<ST Send for a Catalogue.
Jane 24, 1874. ly
THOMSON, McDUFFIE COUNTY, GA, NOVEMBER 4,1874.
POETICAL.
The Confederate Note.
MEMORIAM.
Representing nothiug on Gods earth now,
And naught in the waters below it;
As the pledge of a nation that passed away,
Keep it, dear friend, and show it—
Show it to those who will lend an ear
To the tale this trifle will toll;
Os liberty born of a patriot’s dream,
Os a storm-cradled nation that fell.
Too poor to possess the precious ores,
And too much of a stranger to borrow,
We issued to day our “promise to pay,”
And hoped to redeem on the morrow.
The days roiled on, and weeks became years,
But our coffers were empty still;
Coin w as so scarce the treasury quaked
If a dollar should drop in the till.
But the faith that was in us was strong indeed
Though our poverty well we discerned;
And this little check represents the pay
That our suffering veterans earned.
They knew it had hardly a value in gold,
Yet as gold our soldiers received it;
It gazed in our eyes with a promise to pay,
And every true soldier believed it.
But our boys thought little of price or pay,
Or of bills that were over due—
We knew if it bought our bread to day,
*T was the bt fct oar pot r country cou.d do.
Keep it; it tells our history over,
From the birth of the dream to the last;
Modest and born of tbe angel hope,
Like our hope of success it passed.
lie Careful What You Say.
BY C. CARROLL BANCER.
In speaking of a person’s faults
Fray don’t forget your own ;
Remember, those with home of glass
Should seldom throw a stone.
If we have nothing else to do
But talk of those w ho sin,
’Tis better we commence at home,
And from that point begin:
We have no right to judge a man
Until he’s fairly tried ;
J Should we not like his company,
V' e know the world is wide ;
| Some may have faults—and who havo not,
The old as well as young ;
| Perhaps we may for aught we know,
Have fifty to their one.
I’ll tell you of a better plan,
And find it works full well,
I try my own defects to cure
Before of others tell;
And though I sometimes hope to bo
No worse than some I know,
! My own shortcomings bid me let
The faults of others go.
| Then let us all, when wo commence
| To slander friend or foe, .
j Think of the harm one word may do
To those who little know ;
Remember, curses, sometimes like
Our chickens, “roo*t at home
| Don’t speak of others’ faults until
Wo have none of our own.
SELECT MISCELLANY.
KITTY’S FORTY,
or,
T 1! i: SNOW ST OB M .
BY EUWAKD EGHIjESTON.
| It doesn’t do men any good to live
apart from women and children. I never
knew a boys’ school in which there was
not a tendency to rowdyism. And lumber
men, sailors, lishermen, and all other
men that live only witli men, are proverb
ially a half-bear sortof people. Frontier
men soften down when vmnon and
children come—but I forget myself, it is
the story you want.
Barton and Joi.es lived in a shanty by
themselves. J< :s was a married man,
but finding it hard to support his wife in
] a down East village, he had emigrated to
j Northern Minnesota, leaving his wife
under her fall; .’s roof, until he should
j lie atile to ‘ mai. a start.’ He and Burton
, had gono into partnership and had
j “preemptedatown site” of three hundred
J and twenty acres.
I There were, perhaps, twenty families
I scattered sparsely over this town site at
the time my story begius and ends, for it
j ends in the same weelfin which it begins.
: The partners had disagreed, quarreled
and divided their interests. The laud
was all shared between them, except one
valuable forty acre laud. Eaeli of them
claimed that piece of land, and the quar
rel had grown so high between them
that tho neighbors expected them to
“shoot at first sight.” In fact, it was
understood that Burton was on the forty
acre piece, determined to shoot Jones if
he came, and Jones had sworn to go out
there and shoot Burton, when the fight
was postponed by the unexpected arrival
of Jones’ w ife and child.
Jones’ shanty was not finished, and he
was forced to forego the luxury of fight
ing his partner, in his exertions to make
his wife and baby comfortable for
the night. For the winter sun was
surrounded by “sun-dogs.” Instead of
one sun there were lour, an occurrence
not uncommon in this latitude, but one
which always bodes a terrible storm.
In his endeavor to care for wife and
child, J ones was mollified a littie, and
half regretted that he had been so violent
about the piece of land. But he was
determined not to be backed down, and
he would certainly have to shoot Burton
or be shot himself.
When he thought of the chance of
being killed by his old partner, the
prospect was not pleasant. He looked |
wistfully at Kitty, his two years’ old child,
and dreaded that she would be left father
less. Nevertheless, he w-ouldu’t be
backed down. He would shoot or be bhot.
While the father was busy cutting
wood, and the mo.her waa busy other
wise, little Kitty managed to get the
shanty door open. There was no lath as
yet, and her prying little fingers easily
swung it back. A gust of cold air almost
took away her breath, but she caught
sight of the brown grass without, aud
the new world seemed so big that the
little feet were fain to try and explore it.
She pushed out. through the door, j
caught her breath again, aud started j
away down a path bordered by sere grass
and the dead stalks of the wild sunflower. I
How often she had longed to escape !
from restraint, aud paddle out into the
world alone 1 So out into the world she
went, rejoicing in her liberty, in the blue
sky alKjve aud the rusty prairie beneath.
She would find out where tho path went
to, and what there was at the end of the
world 1 What did she care if her nose
was blue with cold, aud her chubby
hands red as beets? Now and then she
paused to turn her head away from a rude
blast, a forerunner of the storm ; but
having gasped a moment, she quickly
renewed her brave march in search of the
great unknown.
The mother missed her, and supposed
j that Jones, who could not get enough of
! the child’s society, had taken the little
pet out with him.
Jones, poor fellow, sure that the dar
ling was safe within, chopped away until
that awful storm broke upon him, and at
last drove him, half smothered by snow
aud half frozen with cold, into the house.
When there was nothing left hut retreat,
he.had seized an armful of wood ana
carried it into the house with him, to
make sure of having enough to keep his
wife aud Kitty from freezing in the com
ing awfuluess of the night, which now
settled down upon the storm-beaten and
snow-blinded world.
It'was the beginning of .that, horrible
storm in which so many people were
frozen to death, and Jones had tied none
too soon.
When once the wood was stacked by
the stove, Jones looked for Kitty. He
had not more than inquired for her when
father and mother each read in the other’s
face the fact that she was lost in this wild,
dashing storm of snow.
So fast did the snow fall and so dark
was the night, that Jones could not see
three feet ahead of him. He endeavored
to follow the path, which ho thought
Kitty might have taken, but it was buried
in suow-drifts, aud soon he. lost himself.
He stumbled through the drifts, calling
out to Kitty in his distress, but not
lowing whether lie went. After an hour
of despairing, wandering and shouting,
he came upon a house, and having rapped
on the door he found himself lace to face
with his wife.
He had returned to Ids own house in
his bewilderment..
When we remember that Jones lmd
not slept for two nights proceeding tliiH
I one, on account of his mortal quarrel
i with Burton, and he. hail now been beat-
J ing against an arctic hurricane, and
l tramping through treacherous billows of
I snow for an hour, we cannot wonder that
i he fell over his own threshold in a state
| of extreme exhaustion.
Happy for him that he did not fall
bewildered on the prairie, as many another
poor wayfarer did on that futal night!
As it was, his wife must needs give up
the vain little searches she hud been
making in the neighborhood of the shan
ty. She had now a sick husband w ith
frozen hands and feet and face, to care
for. Every minute the thermometer fell
lower and lower, and all the heat the
little cook-stove in Jones’ shanty could
give, would hardly keep them from
freezing.
Burton had stayed upon that forty-a r
lot all day, waiting for a chance to shoot
his old partner Jones. He hadnot heard
of tli<! arrival of Jones’ wife, and so he
concluded that his enemy had proved a
coward and had left him in i>ossession,
or else that he meant to play him some
treacherous trick on his way home.
So Burton resolved to keep a sharp
lookout. But he soon found that impos
sible, for the storm was upon him in all
its blinding fury. He tried to follow the
path, but he could not find it.
Had he been less of a frontiermau he
must havo perished there, within a fur-
I long of his own house. Butin endeavor
ing to keep the direction of the path he
heard a smothered cry, and then saw
something rise up covered with snow, and
fall down again. Ho raised his gun to
shoot it, when the creature uttered
another wailing cry so like human, that
he put down lus gun and went cautiously
forward.
It was a child !
He did not remember that there was
such a child amyug all the settlers in
Newton. But he did not stop to ask
questions. He a;ust without delay, get
himself and the child too, to a place of
safety, or both would soon be frozen.
So he took the little thing in his arms
and started through the drifts. And
the child put its little icy fingers on Bur
ton’s rough cheekand muttered, “Papa!”
And Burton held her closer, and fought
the snow more couragiously than ever.
He found the shanty at last, and roiled
the child in a buffalo-robe while he made
a lire. Then, when he got the room a
little warm, he took the little thing upon
his knee, dipped her aching fingers in
cold water, and asked her what her name
was.
“Kitty,” she,said.
TERMS-TWO DOLLARS IN ADVANCE.
“Kitty,” he said, “and wiiat else?” j
“Kitty,” she answered, nor eouid he i
find out any more.
“Whose Kittie are you?”
“Four Kittie,” she said. For she had j
known her father but that one day, and I
now she believed that Burton was he.
Burton sat up all night and stuffed
wood into his impotent little stove, to !
keep the baby from freezing to death.— j
Never having had to do with children,
he firmly believed that Ivittie, snugly ;
sleeping under blankets and buffalo
robes, would freeze if ho let the fire die
out in the least.
As the storm prevailed with unabated
fury the next day, aud as he dared not
take Kittie out nor leave her alone, he
stayed by her all day and stuffed the
store with wood, and laughed at her ba
by talk, and fed her on biscuit and fried
bacon and coffee.
On the morning of the second day the
storm had subsided. It, was forty de
grees cold, but knowing that somebody
must be mourning Kittie for dead, he
wrapped her in skins, and with much
difficulty reached the nearest, neighbor's
house, suffering only a fiost-bite ou his
nose by the way.
“That child,” said the woman to
whose house he had come, “is Jones’.
I seed ’em take her outen tho wagon day
before yesterday.”
Burton looked at Kittie a moment in
perplexity. Then he rolled her up again
aud started out, “traveling like mad,”
as the woman said, as she watched him.
When he reached Jones’, he found
Jones aud his wife sitting in utter
wretchedness by the fire. They were
both sick from grief, and unable to
move out of the house. Kittie they had
given up for buried alive under some
snow-mound. They would find her
when Spring should come and melt the
snow-cover off..
When the exhausted Burton came in
with his bundle of buffalo skins they
looked at him with amazement. But
when he opened it and let Kittie out and
said :
“Here, Jones, is this yer Kitten?”
Mrs. Jones couldn’t think of anything
better than to scream.
And Jones got up and took his old
partner’s hand and said ; “Burton, old
fellow !” and then choked up and sat
down, and cried hopelessly.
And Burton said, “Jones, ole fellow,
you may have that forty-acre patch. Tt
come mighty nigh makin’me the murder
er of that little Kitties father.”
“No, you shall take it yourself,” cried
Jones, “if I have to go to law to make
you.”
And Jones actually deeded his interest
iu the forty acres to Burton. But Bur
ton trausfered it to Kittie.
That is why this part of Newton is
called to-day “Kitty’s Forty.”
The Best Road-Builders.
l lt has been said that the civilization
and enterprise of a nation may be fairly
estimated by the character of its roads.
If tliis be true, we are behind not only
the Romans, those master road-builders
of antiquity, but we must bow even to a
people once on our own continent, of
whom scarcely a tradition is left.
In Peru exists the remains of a highway
grander and more durable than any that
Roman skill ever devised, and which in
volved in its construction engineering
difficulties unsurpassed, if equaled, by
any met with iu the buildiug of our
great traus-continental railway. This
road, made of uicely jointed ilags of free
stone laid in cement ami covered with a
bituminous mortar, now harder than the
stone itself, was twenty feet iu width,
and stretched over mountains and almost
impassable regions, 2,000 miles, running
from Quito to Cuzco, and thence south
ward into Chili.
How many centuries it has loin there
no man knows. The simple Indians
whom Pizarro slaughtered had preserved
uo tradition of the Titans who built it.
Whatever was the condition of this an*
cient people in point of material and so
cial advancement, this highway was com
mensurate with their civilization. Our
roads are eertaiuly not equal to theirs.
it is true the railway has to a certaiu
extont done away with tho necessity of
wagon roads on so grand a scale as the
Appian Way, and the still more magnifi
cent Peruvian highway ; but the de
mands of the present age require in cer
tain localities a more enduring pavement
than any laid by ancient engineers; and
this our civilization has not yet devised.
The L ahgest Chock.—There is a
wonderful variety in the size aud appear
ance of the contrivances by which we
measure time. An ingenious Swiss j
watchmaker contrived a tiny watch, j
which was worn in tho finger-ring of an
empress, and was but half an luch in !
diameter, while the wayfareriu the streets j
of London tells the time by looking up j
at the immense dial of the clock ou the j
Parliameut House, not less than twenty- !
two feet across its face. There are four J
of these dials, and the huge minute
hands take a leap of seven inches every
half minute. Wlieu it strikes the hour,
the four-hundred-pouud hammer calls
out the heavy tones oi a bell weighing
filtoen tons, au. oignt feet in Height.
Xne pendulum s fuiiiiiteenleetm length.
To wind ti.e huge clock requires two
hours’ hard labor.
How a Gitj Man Removed a Setting !
Hen.
The city man who goes into the country
to spend the summer must make up his
mind to learn something of the routine
of rural life. A New York man who is
spending the hot weather season with a
family on Pine street, was asked by the
lad\- of the house if he would take a hen
off the nest, as it wanted to set, and she
didn’t want it to. “Certainly,” said he,
and immediately stained out to crush out
the maternal prospects of this particular
oue. He went straight to the nest to lift
her off, and reached out his hand for that
purpose, but immediately drew it back
again, and tucked it under the other arm,
aud squeezed it a little, while he drew up
his lips as if about to whistle something.
Theu he stood there and stared at the
lieu, and she lifted up her head and star
ed back at him, winking her eyes with
i singular velocity. "Get off, won’t you?”
said he af era pause. She made no
response. He drew out his hand and
looked at a red spot on one of the knuckles,
and then put the knuckle in his mouth
j to cool it, looking all the while at the
hen, aud wondering how on earth she
moved so quickly. The longer ho eyed
her the less incliued ho felt to touch her,
aud finally he climbed up a post to a
beam which ran over her nest, and work
ing his way out on it till he got just
above the hen, took off his hat and shook
it at her, and advised her to get. But
she only looked up at him, one eye at a
time, and clucked ominously. He told
her if she didn’t leave he would come
down there aud kick her through the
burn, but immediately gave up the blood
! thirsty design whan he reflected that it
j was a dumb animal, and couldn’t reason
I like a human being. Then he happened
to think of his pants, which were white
linen, and rubbed his fingers on the beam
to find them full of black dust, which led
him to work his body round to look at
tho pants, and while making this very
natural move he suddenly slipped, made
a plunge to renew his hold, shrieked for
help, slipped again, and then came down
on top of the hen aud the nest, smashing
them both to the floor, upsetting a barrel
and filling the air with dust, feathers,
hen noises and shrieks. When the
family reached the barn, the unfortunate
man, looking something like a circus
poster on legs, had got on his feet, and
was turning around and rubbing his
j head in an abstracted manner, and every
] time ho turned an omelette on white
| linen base came to view,, wl.de the hen
stood in the furtherest corner on oue leg,
i with a look of mingled astonishment aud
I reproach on her countenance. After five
i minutes of industrious application with
! a chip the gentleman was escorted into
S the house, where his head was bathed
with spirits aud hia comfort generally
I attended to.
Bays' Convoiition.
The boys of Pittsburgh have held a
mass meeting and resolved ;
“Wo will go in swimming whenever
we darned please, and wout come any
extra shenanigan about getting our hair
dry to fool the folks at home, aud that
! we will have shirts to wear, so that the
1 big fellows won't laugh at us when we
are undressing. We are willing to do the
square thing to our parents, but we ain’t
\ cut for ‘tending to babies, and won't do
I aiiy work about home that does net prop
! eriy come within a boy’s sphere, and not
! that if it interferes with the hours of
I play which health demands boys should
| iiave, viz: Between 7 o’clock in the
; a. m. and i) o’clock in the i\ m., with the
necessary intermissions for meals. Nei
ther straps nor cowhides nor slippers will
have any effeot in *this rebellion. If
they try that game it will be good-by
John for errands, and we shall ever pray,
Ac. That’s the kind of hair-pins we
are.”
According to Pliny, fire was a long
time unknown to some of the aucient
Egyptians, and when a celebrated astro
nomer showed it to them they were
absolutely in raptures. The Persians,
Phoenicians, Greeks and several otner
nations acknowledge that their ancestors
were without the use of fire, and the
Chinese confess the same of their pro
genitors. Puinpanion, Mola, Plutarch
and other aoc.ent writersspeekof natrons
which, at the time when they wrote,
knew nut the use of file, or had just
learned it. Pacts of the same kind are
also attested by modern nations. The
inhabitants of the Marian Islands, which
were discovered in 1561, had no idea of
fire. Never was astonishment greater
than theirs when they saw it oh the de
sert iu oue of their islands. At first they
believed it was some kind of animal that
fixed to and fed upon the wood.
A California boy has immortalized
himself by the foliowiug composition on
“The Stink Aut
Sum things is small but awful stout.
A skunk can outfite the biggest New
fouulin Durg. A ant can lift a big
chunk and bite like a mule. A stink ant
can stick his tail up iu the are and paw
dirt like a fibin kock if you drum around
him much. A game stink a i kau make
you waltz like a dutchman. Sum fokes
like stink ants but I donte. This is all
I kno bout ants.
Advertising Haicw.
One square, first insertion $ l GK>
Each subsequent insertion 75
One square three months lo on
One square six months 15 uo
One square twelve months vo (jo
Quarter column twelve mouths 40 OU
Half column six months 60 Otf
Half column twelve months.: 78 00'
One column twelve months 125 00
<s*?" Ten lines or less considered a square.
All fractious of squares are counted as full
s .uares.
WISE AND OTHERWISE.
To Mr. Pewer, of Virginia, all things
are pewer.
Tne latest Irish fashion is a home-rule
hat. It has uo crowu.
“Darwin’s Darlings,” is the suggest
ive name of a newly organized negro
minstrel troupe iu the West.
“Money is very tight,” said a thits'
who was trying to break into a bank.
What is the use of talking of tins
world's brightness and sunshine to a
man that has tight boots?
A clergyman in Paris, Ky., stopped
his prayer to lead an unruly man out by
the ear, and went on : “As I was saving,
O Lord.”
In the case of a Kansas man being
struck by lightning the coroner’s jury
rendered this verdict : “He was killed
by the Lord, but the Lord is all right.”
Gaiters with monogram clasps are
now all the fashion with pretty girls.
The style is said to be convenient and
elegant, and we hope to see more of it.
“He called me a jackass, a simpleton
and an idiot, aii of which I declare to be
true,” was the affidavit of a western po
liceman.
An Irishman describing the growth of
potatoes on his laud, said, as a clincher ;
“An’ sure, a bushel iv thim will ml a
barrel. ”
“C-c-c-c-can that p-p-p-p-parrut talk ?”
asked a stuttering man of a German.
“Veu he don’t talk so gooter as you, I
scliop, by tarn, his head off.”
A fashion reporter writes: “Dresses
are not to be worn any longer this sea
son.”
That would do very well for the warm
weather, but what about the late cold
snap ?
Simkins playfully remarked that he
had forn- fools ; Beautifool, dutit'ool,
youthiooland delightfool.” “poor me,”
sighed his wife, “I have only oue.”
A rich but parsimonious old gentleman
being taken to task for his stinginess,
said : “True I don’t give much, but if
[ you only knew how it hurts when I give
anything, you wouldn’t wonder.”
It is a curious fact that while beaux
are permitted to go in the way they are
bent, belles are expected to go in the way
they are told.
It was recently announced by an lowa
editor that a certain patron of his was
“thieving as usual.” He declares he
wrote it “thriving.”
“Don’t prevaricate, sir !" thundered
.Judge Shell to a witness. “Can’t help
it, Judge,” answered the youth. Ever
since I got a kick from a mule that
knocked my teeth out I prevaricate a
good deal.”
An inquiring man thrust his fingers in
to a horse’s mouth to see how many teeth
lie had. The horse closed his mouth to
see how many fingers (he man had. The
curiosity of each was fully satisfied.
“Guilty or not guilty ?” asked a Dutch
Justice.
“Not guilty.”
‘ ‘Den what ter tyful do you here ? Go
about mit your piznoss.’'
A Cleveland man lost two inches of his
ear the other day, and a Toledo paper
say3 that he will have 11 carry a bag of
shot on that shoulder to balance himself.
Now, after lapse of ninety odd years it
has been discovered that spitting on the
bait doesn’t help in the least to catch
the fish. Is there any oue iu America
who isn't as mad as blazes ?
Marry for love, young men, but remem
ber that it is a.\ easy to love a girl whose
pa has a hundred thousand in bank as
one whose old man sits up behind a pair
o. briud e steers and yells : “Whoa ! you
Buck, come yer cattle !”
The following advertisement appeared
recently in an English paper :
rit. James’ Church.—Ou Sunday next
the afternoon services will commence at
half-past three and continue until fur
ther notice.
A young lady, just out of town for the
summer, is sure that the horrid cows,
are even more dangerous than a mad
bull, because the bull would only give a
butt while the cows give butter. Fhew !
Mrs. Sartoris forgot oue of her para
sols ! — Post.
Well, now that she’s married, a little
sun will not hurt her. — Enquirer.
I alwus did admire the malioe ov the
mule. If a freak of nature had made me
az misfortunate among men az the mule
iz among animals, i would begin tew let
drive at things a mile an a half off.
"That dog of yourn flew at me this
morning, and bit me on the ieg, and now
I notify you that I intend to shoot it the
first time I see it.” “The do;; is not
mad.” Mad! I know ho is not mad,
What’s he got to be mail about l It’s me
that’s xnad. ”
A domeetio young lady (making pie):
“Frank, tho kitchen’s no place for boys.
Has dough suoh an attraction for you?”
Cleveryouth: “Itian’tthedough, couain
—it’s the dear.”
“What is to become of me if you die?”
asked an affectionate wife of her receding
husband, “i. don’t know,” he snapped
out, queruously. “It would look better
in you to be thinking about want’s to
become of me 1”