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s!je 3ouraal.
A Beal Lire Country Paper. Published
Every Wednesday Homing, by
WHITE &, HUDSON.
Teresa es Subscription.
One copy, one year $2.00
One copy, six months 1.00
Ton copies, in clubs, one year, each.... 1.50
Single copies Sets.
«T All subscriptions in varibly in advance.
B USINESS CARDS.
Z>7 F. IRVING ,
THOMSON, GA.,
Dealer in Boots and Shoes,
has now on hand a complete stock of
Ladies’ Gents’ and Children Wear.
Call and examine for younclvw.
Oct. 14, 1374, 3m
R W. H. NEAL,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
THOMSON, GA.
Omen.—Over B. H. Bnah's Store.
H. C. RONEY,
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
THOMSON,* GA.
«r Will practice in the Augusta, Horth
urn and Middle Circuits. nolyl
CHARLES S, DuBOSE,
atturnky at law,
WARRtNTON, GA
tar Will practice in the courts of the
Northern, Middle end Augusta Circuits.
4r. *%
Attorney at Law,
WAR RENTON, GA.
(#■ Hue dilligence given to all Imßincss
satnisted to hie care. By permission he
refers to
P. H. Mell. Athens, Oft.
Col C. W. IhllW. Sparta, Gft.
Ex Justice W. W. Montgomery, S-avan
nah. Gs. *° h
PAUL 0. HUDSON,
ATTORNEY AT LAW,
Thomson, G«.
WUI practice in the Superior Courts of
the Augusta, Northern and Middle Circuits,
and in the Supreme Court, and will give
attention to al! cases in Bankruptcy.
Aug. 25, It 74. ts
Central Jlotel
BY
MRS. W. M. THOMAS,
AUGUSTA, GEORGIA
seplltf
PALMER HOUSE.
(Over Ilignon A Crump’s Auction Store.)
Broad Street, Augusta, Georgia.
J. I. PLATE R, Proprietor.
(rood tioard furnished by the week, month
or day.
April 15 ts
A. J. CEARK,
PXAIjKR IN
Watches, Clocks, Jewelry,
Spectacles, Eye-Qlasses, Etc.
Watches A docks Repaired A Warranted
JEWELRY MADE AND REPAIRED
ALL KINDS OF HAIR BRAIDING DONE.
W 181 Broad Street, Augusta, On
Bert to the Telegraph Office.
Aug. 12 1871. 6m
C. I. DODD. L MEALING.
C. E. DODD & CO.,
HAVE REMOVED TO 219 BROAD ST.,
Opposite the Central Hotel,
UOIJHTA, GA.
Call and see our Styles of
MERS’ BOYS' ARD CHILDREN’S
HATS.
NoTembci 5. 1873. Cm
A RARE OPPORTONlTY
circumstances being such that I can
not travel, X will sell one-half or all of the
the territory of Georgia, which is now un
sold, for
Shield’s Patent Stock-Yoke.
If I can sell as many as fifty connties to
one man, I will dispose of the right so that
an engetio man can make one thousand per
cent, by re-selling the counties.
I will take in payment, real estate, town
property or stock.
1 refer any one wishing to purchase to
Hodo and Lazenby, Agents in McDuffie
county, and to those who have purchased
and triad the Yoke.
Address by letter or in person,
W. H. HAMMETT,
Social Circle, Ga.
Sept. 30, 187a ml
W. HI- Marshall,
CONTRACTOR AND BUILDER,
7’HO.tlSH.r, u.t.
4dT Plans, Estimates, Ac., furnished.
Work Solicited.
W REFERENCES: Town Council of
Thomson; T. E. and A. M. Massengale
Gunn's Mills, Ga.
Aug. -6, 1874. 3m
Dissolution of Copartnership.
THE Copartnership heretofore existing
between JAS. L. HARDAWAY and W.
M. HARDAWAY, under the firm name and
style ofl.L A W. M. HARDAWAY is this
day dissolved.
Either party is authorized to settle the
affairs of the old firm
JAS. L. HARDAWAY,
Oct. 3d. lm W. M. HARDAWAY.
AGENTS WANTED—fr. to *lO made
daily. Samples mailed free. N. H.
WHITE, Newark, N- J.
I*> 18 C-V l ln-.t,' 1 '!-] sex, youux oM. n,-,.e mi.re m-u-,,
i f .rTi.t,,, -Ir tp- worn,ut. or .11 IS,» this
ir—ti,-.ani.ee. ar^.vj.o.wu«on*Co.,r..iuoJ,a,iue.
®lie |Hcsu|)ic lieettljj Jarntnat.
VOLUME IV-NUMBER 43.
Thomson High School;
FOR
BOYS AND GIRLS.
THE Spring Session of this School will
open on Monday the 19th day of January,
and will continue six scholastic months.
The Fall Session
WILL BEGIN AUGUST 10,1874
and continue four scholastic months.
Board can be procured in private families
at sls. per month.
For particulars apply to
>. A. LEWIS, Prim,
Thomson, Ga.
iy
A
Fact for the People. The Cumberland
University Business College and Tele
graph Institute, at Lebanon, Tennessee;
and Bryant and Stratton Business Col
lege and Telegraph Institute, at Nash- j
ville, Tennessee, are the leading Actual l
Fusiness Oolleges in the South and |
VlVst A
SITUATION
for all worthy graduates iu Telegraphy, is
GUARANTEED
as soon as the course of instruction is
completed,
OR ONE-HALF
of all the money paid for
THE TUITION
will, within thirty days, be
REFUNDED.
All modern improvements in Business
training. Kates to suit the hard time.
Session perpetual. For particulars, ap
ply iu person, or address the Principal,
THOMAS TONEY,
Lebanon, Teun.
Or Nashville, Tenn.
January fi, 1874. lv [c26nug]
I>K. JAMES S. JONES. J. 11.I 1 . JONES.
J. S. Jones & Son,
CfBOCIBS
AND’
COMMISSION MERCHANTS,
THOMSON, GA.
Having gone entirely into tho sale of
Staple and Fancy Groceries, take pleasure
iu aunounceiug to their friends and the
public generally that they now have and
will constantly keep on hand a
FULL AND WELL SELECTED 'TOCKOF
Staple and Fancy Groceries, principal
among which may be found Bacon. Flour,
Sugar, Coffee, Mackerel, of the finest grades
Syrup. Molasses of every grade. Cheese,
Crackers, l’carl Grits. Hominy, Rice. laird,
pure Liverpool Salt, Goshen, and country
butter. In their line of
FANCY GROCERIES
they do not hesitate to say that they have
the finest variety ever exhibited in this mar
ket. In the selection may always be found
CANNED
Lima Beans, Green Corn, Fresh Salmon.
Fresh Mackerel. Fresh Peftches. Pine Apples,
Pears, Apricots, Oysters, Mince Meats,
Pickles, both domestic and imported
.TELOPIH,
Preserved Plums, Damsons. Raspberries,
Blackberries, Lime. Pepper Hash, Pepper
and Worcestershire Sauce,
Candies, Chocolate,
both in drops and for tho table, Condensed
Milk, extracts of all kinds. Apples, Oranges.
Cocoanuts, Almonds, Pecanß, Brazil nuts,
English Walnuts Ac.
They ulso have a fine assortment of To.
baccos, Segars, Pipes. Smoking Tobacco,
Tea. Soap, Plain and Toilet Lunch Baskets,
Cream Tarter. Soda, Yeast Powders, all of
which they are offering as low cash prices
that cannot fail to suit all.
Our motto is still “Quick Sales and Small
Profits.”
JAMES S. JONES & SON
[mr 13ylJ dec 11 Thomson, Go.
IMPROVED
GEORGIA COTTON PRESS,
PATENTED MARCH, 1870, BT
PENDLETON & BOARDMAN,
AUGUSTA, GA.
THE satisfaction this PRESS has given in
the past, the great improvements made
on it, and the fact of it* being from forty to
fifty dollars cheaper than any other good
press, should induce planters and others to
send for one of our new circulars be
fore purchasing. We also manufacture
Irons for Water Power Presses and Screw
Presses. Address,
PENDLETON A BOARDMAN,
Foundry and Machine Works,
Kollock Street, Augusta Ga.
June 24, 1874. 4m
Em Mm
IMPORTER AND DEALER IN
WINES, ALES,
LIQUORS, PORTERS,
Cigars, Etc.
Corner Broad and Jack
won Street,
AUGUSTA , GA.
May 7 ts
TO YOUNG MEN.
EOR the developement of Business talents
and character, and the preparation of young
and middle aged men for the counting
house and business pursuits, the best facili
ties are offered at
MOOR E* H
Southern Business University,
Atlanta, Ga. The largest and best Practi
cal Business School in the South, Students
received at any time.
®T Send for a Catalogue.
June 24, 1874. ly
Thomson, McDuffie county, ga, October 23,1874.
POETICAL,
[oaxotHAL.]
[For the Journal.]
A Flea ter the Savage,
[Being an extract from an unpublished
manuscript poem entitled “Hymns of the
Occident,"]
BE NEWTON BANDOLFH FLEXING, X. D.
Penn gave to Charles but sixteen thousand
pounds
F, r that grand Empire which the Delaware
bounds.
What right had this Drowned spendthrift
thus to sell
A peopled realm his eyes had ne'er beheld ?
James gave to Albany and York, by birth
Allied, tha richest regions of the earth,
The land of Seneoa’a and Oswego's,
And sweeping vales, through which the
Mohawk flows—
The Pope of Rome gave Peru—Mexico,
i To cruel Cortez—bloody Pizaro ;
| At least, graciously granted it to Spain,
i Who sent those human butchers there to
reign—
A Spimiard was the first to touch tb'a shore,
[ And to his sovereign it belonged therefore.
An English sailor—Cabbot was his name—
Came afterwards, and hence the British
claim.
If mere discovery like this should give
A right to realms where countless millions
live,
Then England go and claim yon glorious
star,
Discovered first by Heracliel from afai;
And gracious Pontiff, beautifnl once more,
From Fiescole’s hill again explore
Those worlds which, for the first time,
loomed past
The smoke-stained disc of Gallileo's glass—
Give them awsy, your claim to them’s as
true
And righteous as it whs to fnrned Peru!
O, Britain, Franco, Spain, colonizing pow
ers
Os all the isles, ns you have been of onra,
Is this the precedent for coming time,
That Savage man in whatsoever clirno,
Most give up all thst is iu time most prized
Home, country, life, to the more civilized ?
Four hundred millions of our race, or more.
Are Savages along the Hoang Ho
Os China, where the Burampooter rolls;
On banks of Amour, way up 'ueath tho poles.
Are myriad forms of Savage beings seen;
And countless isles dressed in living green
Os tropic realms, are groauing 'neath the
load
Os this same life that from Almighty flowed;
So where Australian fields of gold invite
Life’s flowing tides —the Jlushmnu takes to
flight—
| From spicy Isles, where aromatics grow,
In ludiuu seas—Sumatra—Borneo—
Java, to that long string of jewels green
Bridging the vast expanse of roos, first
seen
By Balboa—from where the tropic wave.
The eastern Venice Palembang, doth lave,
To Sandwich's group, that nestle in the
blue
Ocean—from Sydney to Honolulu,
The Savage dreads the civilived to meet.
O does he go for nothing but to cheat '!
The boasted rights of nations, what are
they ?
If Vattel will not speak, let Raynal* say—
Oh for that matchless eloquence of old.
That long Westminster’s crowded galleries
rolled,
When Burke, God-like, plead human nature's
cause,
And Hastings, proud, defied her mighty
laws!
Bold sculptor, who in Greece of old, had
will
To carve the statue, from a granite bill,
Os Alexander, holding in his band
A splendid city, largest of the land,
Go, climb yon Himalayan heights that
shade
The land renowned that Clive and Hastings
swayed—
Choose some bold cliff that overlooks the
vales,
The highest peak, the first that morning
hails,
And let the conscious chisel do its work,
'Till gazing nations shall behold a Burke,
Kisingin awful grandeurfrom those heights,
As on that day he plead for human rights,
Grasping truth’s mighty thunderbolt to hurl
On those whose damning crimes insult the
world.
* (The Abbe Raynal of France, whose
works on the laws of nations, see).
SELECT MISCELLANY.
PANSIE’S EMERALDS.
One -wintry afternoon in January, up
in the black attic of a wretched tenement
house, a pale, sad-eyed woman sat sewing.
The garment upon which she was engag
ed was very rich and costly, being •
handsome party dress. The twilight
closed in rapidly, with a blindihg fall of
snow, and a bitter, wailing blast, that
made the windows rattle in the casements.
Still the sad-faoed woman stitched on.
“Mother,” piped-a slender voioe be
neath the window, “(hall you get the
fine dress done ? O mother, I’m hungry;
if I could only have some tea and a bit
of sausage.”
The mother worked steadily on for a
few minutes, pausing only to brush a tear
from her white cheek, and then she rose
and shook out the glittering robe.
“Tis done at last,” she said; “now
mother's poor little girl can have some
supper. Only be patient a little longer.
Flora. .Ross, Ross, where are you, boy?” I
A manly little fellow came out from the
bed room beyond.
“The fine drees is done, Ross," said
his mother, “and you must run home with
it as fast as you can, Mke Garcia will he
out of patience,' I know. Tell her I
could not finish it one moment sooner,
and ask her to give you the money. We
must have it to-night And you can step
in at Mr. Ray’s aa yon come back and
buy some coal, and we must have some
bread and tea, and a mite of butter, and
you must get a sausage, Rose, for poor
little Flora."
“I’ll get ’em all, mother,” be said,
aud be back in no time. You shall have
a big sausage, little ais,” he added, Burn
ing toward the cot
The little girl nodded her curly bead,
and her great, wistful eyes sparkled with
delight.
“And you shall have half of it, Row,”
she piped in her slender bird-voice,
“Hadn’t you better put on your thiok
jacket, my boy 7” continued his mother ;
“the wind outs like a kni£.”
“ Pshaw little mother ! I don’t mind
the wind.” And away he went down
the creaking flight of stairs and out into
the storm.
In her splendid mansion on Fifth
Aveuue, Miss Garcia Fontenay was iu a
perfect furor of impatience and auger.
Her dear five hundred friends were
assembling in the balls below, and her
handsome dress had not come home.
What did that beggar woman mean by
disappointing half At that moment
there was a ring at the door aud a voioe
in the hall. >
“ Please tell Miss Garcia my mother
could not finish it sooner, aud she wants
the money to-night.”
The servant took up the hand some
dress and message.
“I'll never give her another stitch of
work,”oried the augrybeauty. “I ought
to have had it three hours ago. Here,
Fauchion, come and dress me at once,
there is not a moment to lose! No, I
can’t pay to-night, I haven’t time. He
mußtcall to-morrow.”
“ But we've no fire and nothing to eat,
and my little sister is sick,” called the
boy, pushing up the grand stairway.
“Shut the door, Fauchion !"oommand
ed Miss Garcia. And the door was
closed in his face.
From her perch at the parlor window
little Pansio watched the whole scene,
her violet eyes distended with ohildish
amazement. “Poor little boy,” she said,
as Ross disappeared down the stairway,
“sister Garcia ought to psy him. It
must be dreadful to have uo fire and
nothing to eat. ”
She stood for a moment balancing her
self on the tip of one dainty foot, her
rosebud face grave and attractive ; then
a sudden thought flooded her blue eyes
with sunshine, and snatching something
npon the table, she darted down stairs.
The servant bud just closed the street
door, but she fluttered past him like a
humming bird and opened it. On the
steps sat Ross, brave little fellow that he
was, bis face in his hands, sobbing as if
his heart would break.
“What is the matter, little boy?”
questioned Pansie.
Ross looked up, half believing that
the face of an angel was lookiug down
upon him through the whirling snow
flakes.
“Oh, I can't go hone without the
money,” he sobbed, “poor mother work
ed so hard, and little Flora is so sick
and hungry.”
Pansie’s eyes glittered like (tan.
“Here,” she said, "do you take this,
little boy, and buy her lots o' nice things.
Tis worth a great deal; papa bought
it for my birth-day present, but do you
take it and welcome."
She extended her dimpled handa and
something like a shower of falling stars
tinkled to the boy's feet. He caught it
in amaze—a necklace of emarlds, illu
strous, gleaming things, set in tawny
Indian gold.
“No, uol” he cried, running up to
where she stood; “I can’t take this; take
it back.”
“You shall take it!” she commanded
imperiously. “I’ve lots o' jewels and
fine things—run home now, and buy
your sister something to eat.”
She closed the door with a bang, and
Ross stoodirresolutein the stormy gloom.
Should be ring the bell and return the
jewels to Pansie’s father, or should he do
as she bad bid him? He thought of his
mother and little Flora watching wist
fully for his return. He could not go
back and see them starve. With a sod
den feeling of desperation, he thrust the
glittering necklace in his bosom sad
dashed rapidly down the snowy street.
“Would you like to buy this, sir ?”
There was a tremor in the boy’s voice
as he asked the question, and the hand
that held up the necklace shook visibly.
The lapidary took the gems, examined
them closely for a moment, and then
shot a sharp glance at the ohild.
“See here, sir," be said presently, his
voioe stern and commanding, “I want to
know how you came by this !”
- The boy’s dear eyes fell, be blushed
and stammered evidently embarrassed.
The jeweler put aside the emeralds, and
taking the lad’s arm, led him into a small
ante-room.
“You are thief!” he said. “That
TERMS-TWO DOLLARS IN ADVANCE.
necklace belongs to Mr. Fontenay ; he
bought it of me not one month ago.
You stole it. You are a thief,”
The little fellow straightened himself,
and his brown eyes biased.
“I am not a thief, sir,” he retorted.
“I didn't steal that neoklaoe—a kind
little girl gave it tome, and I know that it
was wrong for ass to take it, but—my
mother and sister were starving.”
The jeweler hesitated.
“Yon don’t look like a thief, sir,” he
said, “but I will sard for Mr. Fontenay,
that will settle the matter at once. ”
He despatched a messenger according
ly, and Ross sat down in a corner and
sobbed bitterly, ae be heard the driving
winds sad thought of his mother and
poor hungry little Flora. In hall an
hoar Mr. Fontenay oame bringing hit
daughter, little Pansie, with him. The
little creature darted in like a humming
bird, her oheeks ablaze, her blue eyes
flashing lightning.
“He didn’t steal my emeralds,” she
cried, “I gave ’em to him to sell ’em and
buy breed for his little sister.”
Ross rose to his feet, struggling hard
to keep back his tears. He put oat his
little brown hand, which Pansie instantly
clasped in both her ohubby palms.
“I am not a thief, sir,” he said at last,
addressing Mr. Fontenay, “I never stole
anything in my life. I know it was
wrong to take the neoklaoe. But—bat,
sir, my little sister is sick and she is
starving.”
The merohant drew his hands across
hie eyes.
“You’re a manly little fellow,” he said,
patting the lad's head, “and I do not in
the least blame yon, but we will take
back Pansie's emeralds and she will give
you something more available Here,
Pansie, give this to yonr little friend.”
He put a gold piece into Pansie's hand,
which she handed to Ross, with the in
struction that ho should run straight
home, and buy lots o’ goodies for his
sister—a oommaud he was uot Blow to
obey.
“I think we’ll not lose sight of the
little fellow, ” continued Mr. Fontenay,
as Ross disappeared iu the stormy dark
ness, “shall we, pet? Let's see what we
can do to help him. He’s a promising
lad aud an honest one, I’m sure. Mr.
Lennox, you’re iu need of an errand boy,
why not try him? I wish you would.”
‘The jeweler couseuted, to Pansie's
great delight, aud on the following day
Ross was duly established as errand boy
in tbe fashionable establishment.
Fifteen years after, one blustering
March morning, a young man sat behind
the counter of a thriving jewelry estab
lishment in one of our Northern cities.
He was a handsome man, a scholar, and
a traveler, a man of taste, intellect, and
money, for he was a junior portuer in the
firm, which was a prospering one. But
despite all this good fortune, Ross Dun
bar was uot happy. His mother and
little Flora had gone to their long home,
aud he was utterly without kith or kin
in the wide world.
Sitting alone that morning, with the
roar of the March winds in his ears, his
thoughts went back to tbe days of his
boyhood—to his mother’s humble home.
How vivid the past seemed, and how
dear and sacred despite its privations and
sorrows? His eyes grew dim and his
his heart swelled. All were gone over
the wide waters of time and change.
A tender smile softened his sad face as
he recalled the stormy night when he sat
sobbing on the steps of Mr. Fontenay’s
mansion, and little Pansie taking pity on
him dropped her string of emeralds.—
Darling little Pansie, tbe rememberance
of her sweet fooe, as be saw it through
the snow wreaths that night, haunted
him constantly. In all these fifteen years
never for one moment had he forgotten
her. But she was gone; lost to him
forever.
His reverie was broken by the entrance
of a customer, a lady closely cloaked and
veiled. She approached the counter
with a jewel case in her hand.
“Would yon buy these, sir?” she asked
simply in a dear, sweet voioe that stirred
the young man's heart, as no other
woman’s voice had power to do.
He took the casket and unlocked it,
and spread out its contents. A watch,
exquisite and costly, adiamond ring, one
or two rubies, and an emerald necklace.
Ross Dunbar barely suppressed a cry of
surprise as his eyes fell npon it. He
turned it over with eager, trembling
Angers, and there on the tawny clasp
was the name that had lived in his heart
for so many jeers, “Little Pansie.”
“Yon wish to sell them all?” he asked,
striving to steady his voice, and the wild
throbbing of hit heart.
The lady hesitated an instant, Urea
she put out a slender hand and drew the
emeralds toward her.
“I dislike to pert with this,” she said,
“it was my father’s gift—and—and—but
no matter, take them all, I must have
the money.
In her eagerness she had drawn aside
her veil, revealing a lilly face, lit by a
pair of lustrous sapphire eyes. Race
Dunbar stood sikeqt a moment, every
nerve in his manly frame thrilling with
supreme delight. He had found her at
last—the oue idol of his heart.
"They are Hue gems,” he said, after a
moment, "and I am willing to give you
a fair price—suppose we anyone thousand
dollars, will that do ?’’
The girl glanced with a flush of glad
surprise from beneath her heavy veiL
“So much as that,” she stud, tremu
lously. “You are very kind, sir. Oh,!
you cannot know how much this money !
will help me.”
The young man made a polite reply,
and prooeed to pot aside the jewels, and
to draw up a check for the money. The
March winds were still blustering with
out, and the girl shivered and drew her
wrapper closer, as she started out,
“Won’t you let me run down to the
bank for you,” said the jeweler catching
np his hat. “You can play shop lady
the while, it won’t be but a minute or
two.”
“But I’m troubling you so,” she
faltered.
“Not a bit just take this warm seat,
please, you’ll not be likely to have any
customers,’’ and seating her beside his
desk, he took the check and hurried
out.
Psnsie Fontenay threw back her veil,
and leaned her head upon her hand, with
a puzzled, reflective look upon her sweet
sad face.
“Where have I seen his faoe?” she
asked herself over and over again. “It
is so familiar ; who oan it be?”
His return broke upon her meditation,
and receiving her money, she hurried
away to her bumble lodgings.
The following afternoon waseven more
blustering and stormy; the wind roared
and the sleet beat and tinkled against
the windows of the little room in which
Pansie and her father sat. Severe mis
fortunes had reduced them to poverty,
and the olfl man being an invalid, all the
care fell upon Pansie’s slender shoulders.
She sat busy with her sewing, while her
father read aloud from anew book, whioh
she had bonght for him with some of the
money received for her jewels. Her
sweet face was wan and sad, and the
future stretched before her hopeless and
gloomy in all its aspects.
There was a ring at the door, the serv
ant brought up a package for Miss Foute
nay. An exquisite bunch of pansies,
fragrant and golden-hearted, done up in
tissue paper, and attached to them a card
bearit g the simple words, “Ross Dunbar
has not forgotten little Pansie.”
Pansie sat amazed for a moment, and
then a rich bloom drifted up to her white
oheeks.
“O, father!” she cried, “I know him—
I know him. O, we have found Boss at
last. ”
An instant later Boss was in the room,
olasping her fluttering band in his, and
looking into her bine eyes with a glance
that brought rosy blushes to her faoe.
And a few weeks later, when the blus
tering winds were over, and the bine
birds sang in tbe hedges, and thegolden
hearted pansies bloomed on the garden
borders, little Pansie became Ross Dun
bar’s bride, and for her bridal gift he
gave her back her Btring of emeralds.
Humor of the Scandal.
The champion interviewer lives in
Brooklyn. There are a good many of
him, and he is remarkbly alive and
healthy. He stopped a funeral procession
the other day. “See here,” said he to
the manager of the hearse, “give us just
a moment,youknow.” “Whatthe douce
do yon want ?” said the hearse-man.
“Your opinion regarding the Beecher
scandal,” and the champion reporter
produced his book. “Go to the—go to
Moulton. ” said the hearse-man, and he
drove on. The reporter was indignant,
bat he was not to be intimidated. He
followed the procession to the grave.
He interrupted the bearers in their
melancholy work. He asked the mourn
ers, “Coaie, now, what do you think of
the Beecher scandal?” They replied
between sobs that he must really let
them alone, and why in the name of
propriety didn’t he go to the—go to Mr.
Moulton, for instance! “I thinkl never
saw such infernal impudence before in
my life,” said tbe champion rejjorter ;
bat he was still confident and determined.
“lam tbe resurrec—” began the minister.
“See here,” . whispered the champion
reporter, softly tapping him on the
shoulder, “business of importance, old
fellow. I beg your pardon, but it admits
of uo delay.” “For heaven’s sake,” said
the minister, “what is it?” “It’s the
Beecher scandal,” said the champion
reporter. “I want to know, you know—”
“Sir,” interrupted the minister, for the
first time filling ont a sentence often
begun and rarely eonoluded, “go to the
devil! And if you ever interrupt me
again in these peculiar exercises I’ll
thrssh you within an inch of yoor life!”
And what does the champion reporter
say ? Simply that these ministers live
too high anyhow, they're getting so they
can’t answer so little a thing as a civil
question. —Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.
In Chicago the other day a window
full of pot plants suddenly deaoended in
to the street, filling the bade, bosom and
hair of an elderly man with bulbs, earth,
thorns and hair-pins. As soon as he re
covered his speech he stated that he was
a pilgrim and a stranger, bnt be be d—d
if he couldn't lick the man that touched
off that powder.
Advortistng Hates.
One square, first insertion $ 1 00
Each subsequent insertion '... 76
One square three mouths ...... 10 UO
One square six mouths IS ot*
One square twelve months x’t) oo ;
Quarter column twelve mouths to uo
Half column six months on on
Half column twelve months..... 75 00
One cohimn twelve months 125 OO
W Ten lines or leas considered a square.
All fractions of squares are counted as tnS
squama. , HUO.
WISE Am> OTHER WISE, a
It is said that there never was an hon
est redbreast—be is always a robin.
‘Tie sweet to levs, bat oh, His bitter to
love a girl then not git her.
“Give the devil his due, PM, and
where would you be?”
“Alone, yoor honor.”
Toast at a railway dinner ; “Our
mothers, industrious tenders, though
they often misplaced the switch.
“Have yon heard my hast speech r
asked a haranguer of a wit. “I sincerely
hope so,” was tie reply.
The members of the Massachusetts
Senate are going into the Hoosao tunnel
on the 23d, as a committee of the hole.
A man who wanted to be a minister
said he believed he had been called to
labor in the Lord’s barnyard.
The boy with his first cigar ami the
negro with his mule both triad to back
her and couldn’t. * .
“Do you know, sir, that I am worth
a hundred thousand dollars?” “Yes, I
do; and I know that is all yon ore worth.
“Did you ever see the C&tskill Moun
tains?” “No, sab, but I’ve seen urn kill
mice.”
A kind father has persuaded his bad
boy to stay in of nights. The elialg
oosts SI.BO and the padlock 75 cents.
A Detroit paper noting the fact •
man lately dropped dead while combing
his hair, says; “And yet there axe peo
ple who persist in the dangerous habit.”
“Roy,” said uncle Testy, “what are
you hollowing for when I uni going by?”
“What are vou going by for when I’m
a hollerin?” returned the boy.
“Vhon a feller makes his arm around
his gal, und she liken dot pooty well,
dhen dot was Shkribture, on abound it
was makeu habbiuess come uu some
waist blaces, ain’t it?”
“Yes, sir,” suid a Fourth of July ora
tor, “Putuiun went right into the wolfs
den dragged him out, und the independ
ence of America was secured.”
When a Michigan woman was nr-n
from the cowcatcher of a locomotive, up
on whioh she had beou uaught aq-1 car
ried half mile, she said with feeling, “I
was just scooped up like gosh almighty,
wasn’t I?”
A darky left in charge of a telegraph
office while the operator went to uiuner,
heard someone “call” over the wires,
and began shouting to the instrument:
"Do operator isn’t yer 1” Is stopped.
A brother in prayer meeting in Troy
added to his prayer: “And that fellow
who stole my horse—hit him with a
thunderbolt, O! Lord, before he get*
over into Ohio.’’
When the Assessor came around to fix
his tax, and naked Mr. McDouuhue how
to spell his name, he, wishing to be very
polite to his neighbor, replied, “Spell it
just as you do your own, Smith.”
The Missouri editorial convention was
opened with prayer by Elder Berry, and
the Troy Chief says : “It may have
been opened by elderberry, but we’ll bet
it closed with juniper-berry and old rye.”
Near the close of the day at a camp
meeting in Oregon, the preacher said:
“I hope all the congregation will be here
by 10 o’clock, tomorrow, for at thathour
we will pass to the creek, where we will
baptize four adults and six adulteresses.”
A dying client sent for hia lawyers, of
course to draw the will, they supposed.
Judge of their surprise when hia xeqeust
was that one should stand on eaob side
of him so he oonld die like Jesus Christ,
A young lady had ooquetted until the
viotim was completely exhausted. He got
up to leave when she whispered, ae she
accompanied him to the door, “I shall
be at home next Sunday evening.” “8b
shall I,” he replied.
Tbe following placard can be seen at
tbe show window of a Chinese establish
ment in New Orleans:
“the Peppermint oil
for
Hed ake
Tooth"
Bellie “
this oil enny ort
to have a bottle in his pocket it will kuro
any kino sicknes ware it happen,
“Oh, Lord! Thou knowest,” prayed a
Connecticut deaoon in church
“that I am afflicted with a most impious
and depraved son. Thou knowest that
he will lie, and swear, and steel, and-do
all manner of sinful things. Thou kuow
est that on last Sabbath he was seen
walking down the principal street of the
town, with his hands in his pockets,
whistling the following ungodly time”-4-
And the congregation was astounded to
hear “Yankee Doodle" flow melodiously
from the deacon’s pursed op lips,
A Burlington paper says : “Yester
day a boy sauntered up to a house on
Fifth street, where a woman was raking,
and leaning on the fence said: "Are
yon going around to the backyard after
awhile?” The woman said she didn't
know; maybe she would; why?” “Be
cause, ’’ the boy said, “I saw the oisterh
lid drop on the baby’s head a minute
ago, and I thought that if yon we»t
around there yon might lift it oft”
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