Newspaper Page Text
VOL. 11l
The Quitman Reporter
IS PUIIT.ISHED EVERY THURSDAY BY
JOS. TILLMAN, Pi-oi> r,
TEEMS:
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ger period the following arc our rates:
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A square is one inch. These are our low
est rates, and will be strictly adhered to.
All advertisements should be marked for
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first insertion, and so much l* n each suliso
■quent insertion.
Marriages, Obimarics and Tributes of Be
'spect wiil be charged same rates as ordinary
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WHEN s 7k 1-'$ ARE DUE.
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Clue on the lirst appearance oi the adaertise
fnent, except when otherwise arranged by
•contract, and will be presented when the
*001165' is needed.
r. IS. A. J E L KB,
Practicing Pliysician.
QUITMAN GA.
Office : Brick building adjoining store
•of Messrs, llriggs, Jelks k Cos., Screven
Street. [l-tt
8. T. KIMSISEIIY,
Attorney at Law,
v CITMA .V, - - GEORGIA.
in new Brick Warehouse.
Business before the U. S. Patent OiHei
I, A. Allbrittgn,
Attorney at Law,.
QUI'TJIAN, - - - - A
/re-OFFICE IX COURT HOUSE.
W. A. K. HUMP3IBEYS,
Attorney at Law,
QUITMAN. GEORGIA.
S3T-OFFICE in the Court House "S®
HADDOCK & llAIFOIt!),
Attorneys at Law,
QUITMAN, GIOO.
Will give prompt attention to all business
entrusted to their care.
oyer Kavton’s store.
Dr. J. S. N. Snow,
DENTIST.
OFFICE—Front room up stairs over Kay
ton’s Store. Gas administered for painless
ly extracting teeth.
Charges to suit the times.
jau 19, ly
C. W. Stevens,
Attorney at Law,
QUIT3IAIV - GA.
Will give prompt attention to all business
entrusted to him.
Can be found at Capt. Turner’s of
fice.
J b.finchT
DEALER IN
Dry Goods, Groceries, Boots
- Shoes, Hots and Caps,
it
Hardware, Tin Ware,
Bacon and Flour.
Very grateful for past favors and patron
age, the subscriber asks a continuation of
the same.
J. B. Finch.
3s-3o~Gin
The Brooks Comity
MANUFACTURING
ASSOCIATION
ARE RUNNING
Their Factory
-ON
FULL TIME.
: HE MOST desirable goods, such as ex-
X- act-ly suit the wants of the people are
made here, and at
New York Prices,
less the freight to the purchaser.
BROWN COTTON GOODS.
4-4 SHEET ING - Standard weight.
7 8 SHlßTlNG—Standard weight.
7 and 8 OSNABURGS.
ALL COLORS OE STRIPES.
YARNS IN BALES, 8s 10s.
ROPE—in half and whole Coils.
SEWING THREAD—IG balls to
the pound.
KNITTING THREAD.
WRAPPING TWINE.
GEORGIA PLAINS.
MIXED PLAINS.
WOOLEN PLAINS—AII colors.
JEANS—AII colors.
KS-WOOL CARDING A SPE
CIALTY.
j Patronize home industries. Send for
■ price list., and satisfy yours, If where it will
tie to your interest to buy. Address all
communications to
Joseph tillman,
President I). (’. M. A.
THE SUN.
: 1*77. NEW YORK, 1577.
The different editions ol Tin Sun daring
j the next year wiil he the same as during the
year that has just passed. The daily edition
will on week days he a sheet of four pages,
and on .Sundays a shoot ot eight pages, or fa;
broad columns; wlii-lo the weekly edition
will be a sheet of eight pages of the same ;
dimensions and character that are already .
familiar to our friends.
The B'un will continue to be the strenuous
advocate of reform and retrenchment, and
of the subetitiM ion of sir.tesmasi.skip, avis-,
d-uii. and inf -grily {or h-dloA pretence, ini- j
beciiity, and fraud in the administration of
public affairs. It will contvGid for the gov
ernment of the peoj.i • by tlx- y-vopb; and ior
the people, as opposed to government bv
frauds in the ball >t-box and in t li-• counting
of votes, cnloreed by military violence. L;
Will endeavor to supply its readers- a body
now not far from a million of souls with
the most care fid, complete and trustworthy j
accounts of current events, and will employ
tor this purpose a numeious and carefully ■
selected staff of reporters and correspond
ents. Its reports from Washington, espe- i
j dally, will be full, accurate and fearless, j
and it will continue to deserve
and enjoy the hatred ot those who thrive by :
plundering the Treasury or by usurping j
what the law does not give them; while it
will endeavor to merit the confidence of the
public by defending the rights of the people
against the encroachments of unjustified
power.
The price of the daily Run will he no cents
a month or S'). aii a year, post paid, or with
the .Sunday . dition S7.7'i a year.
The .Sunday edition alone, eight pages, !
$1.20 a year, post paid.
The Weekly Sun, eight pages of 5G broad
columns, will be in-rnishc.l during 1877 at
the rate of $1 a year, post paid.
The benefit of this large reduction from
the previous rate for the Weekly can be
enjoyed by individual subscribers without
the necessity of making up clubs. At the
same time, if any of our friends choose to
aid in extending our circulation, we shall be
grateful to them, and every such person who
sends us ten or more subscribers from one
place will be entitled to one copy of the
paper for himself without charge. At one
dollar a year, postage paid, the expense?? oi
paper and printing are barely repaid; and,
considering the size of the sheet and the
quality of its contents, wo are confident the
people will consider The Weekly .Sun the
cheapest newspaper published in the world,
and we trust also one of the very best.
Address, The Sun, New York City.
Liverpool
and
ond on
and
OloV
O®,
Funds of the Company $24,325,984
Income of the Company 7,090,9(10
Claims paid by the Companv. . 01,110,875.
H. m. Mclntosh,
Agent at. O’--* <■'-
Crampton’s Imperial Soap
IS TUB “BEST.”
This Soap in manufactured from pure
materials, aud as it contains a large percent
age of Vegetable Oil, is warranted fully
equal to the best imported Castile Soap,
aud at the same time possesses all the wash
ing and cleauiug properties of the celebra
ted Gorman and French Laundry Soaps. It
is therefore recommended for use in the
Laundry, Kitchen, and Bath-room, and for
general household purposes; also, for Prin
ters, Painters, Engineers, and Machinists,
as it will remove stains of Ink, Grease, Tar,
Oil. Paint, etc., from the hands., Maun fact
ured only by
CIUMPTOX BROTHERS,
2,4, (>, N, and 10 Biityers I'lni’c, and
33 and 35 Jefferson Street, New York
QUITMAN, GA., THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 15, 1877.
SO XU OF TIIE BUTTERFLY.
I come from bowers of lilacs gay,
With honeysuckles blending.
And many a spray of willows gray,
Above the waters bending.
I flutter by the river side.
Where laves the swan his bosom,
And o’er the open common wide,
Where yellow ragworts blossom.
Away on downy pinions borne,
With many a happy rover,
I skim about the rustling corn
And revel in the clover.
1 laugh to see the frugal boo
For others hoard her treasure;
From morn to night a toiler she,
But mine’s a life of pleasure.
I gem my head with pollen dust
From out the waxen lilies,
And in the stream my plume adjust,
Swinging on daffodilies.
I drink the sweets the violet yields
On banks of emerald mosses.
Then flaunt away to trefoil fields,
Hung thick with golden bosses.
I banquet on the hawthorn's breath,
Where lady-birds assemble,
And dance upon the open heath,
Where fairy bluebells tremble.
A careless rover, blithe and gay,
I pass my sunny hours;
Content, when summer’s passed away,
To perish with the flowers.
What if I’m caught, in silken not,
By gentle lady, dying
Impaled within her cabinet.
And like a mummy drying !
I would not wish a richer tomb;
She’ll prize me as a treasure -
Nor shall it shade my days with gloom,
For mine’s a life of pleasure !
J'lines Wilbers.
Anecdote of Washington.
It lias often been remarked of
Washington, that no one was ever in
his presence without being strongly
impressed by reverence for his dignity.
But it seems by the following anec
| dote, that at least there was one ex
j eeption:
When the President was procuring
the ground for the city which was to
j be the seat of government., he had hut
j little difficulty in obtaining the neees
| sary releases, except in one instance.
Air. James Brvnes was the owner of a
lot or tract, which it was advisable
- should bo included in the plan. The
General had various conferences with
Air. 8., who was very obstinate, and
! resisted all the reasoning and per
suasions of the great man. Indignant
at being thus opposed, Washington
turned upon him with indignation,
and said with gnat severity, “Mr.
i James Brynes, what would your land
| have been worth if I had not. placed
| this city on the Potomac ?” Brvnos
' was undismayed, and eoolv turned to '
, him and said, “George AVashington,
what would you, have been worth if
YOU had not harried the widow
I CURTIS?”
; Listening to Evil Retorts. —The
longer I live, the more 1 feel the im
portance of adhering to the rule which
I have laid down for myself in rela
tion to such matters: 1. To hear as
j little ns possible whatever is to the
j prejudice of others. 2. To believe
nothing of the kind till I arc abso
lutely forced to it. A Never to drink
| into the spirit of one win* circulates
an evil report. 4. Always to moder
ate, as far as I can, the unkiudness
1 which is expressed towards others.
| 5. Always to believe that, if the other
j side were heard, a very different ac
count would be given of the matter.—
Simeon.
Common Sense.— Common sense has
given to words their ordinary signifi
cation, and common sense is the
genius of mankind. The ordinary
signification of a word is formed step
by step in connection with facts; ns a
fact occurs, which appears to come
within the sense of a known term, it.
is received as such, so to speak, nat
urally; the sense of the term becomes !
enlarged and extended, and by de- j
grees the different facts and different I
ideas, which, in virtue of the nature ;
of the things themselves, men ought,
to class under this word, become in
fact so classed.
How many take a wrong view of
life and waste their energies aud de
stroy their nervous system in endeav
oring to accumulate wealth, without
thinking of the present happiness
they are throwing away. It is not
wealth or high position which makes
man happy. Many of the most
wretched beings on earth have both;
but it is a radiant, sunny spirit, which
! knows how to bear their little trials,
aud enjoy their little comforts, and
thus extract happiness from every in
cident in life.
The Best Friend.—Tho most agree
able of all companions is a simple,
frank man, without any high preten
sions to au oppressive greatness; one
who loves life, and understands the
use of it; obliging alike at all hours;
above all, of a golden temper, aud
steadfast as an anchor. For such a
one wo gladly exchange the greatest
genius, the most brilliant wit, the
profouudest thinker.— Legtting.
Curiosity iu children is but an ap
petite after knowledge. I doubt not
but one great reason why many
children abandon themselves wholly
to silly sports, and trifle away all their
time insipidly, is because they found
their curiosity baulked and their in
quiries neglected.— Locke.
Arnold, the writing fluid man, has
made a million dollars by it. That’s
the sort of an ink-come to have.
( li mill's Reply lo .5 wise Robinson-
At a time when Curran was only
just rising into notice, nud while he
was yet a poor and struggling man,
Judge Robinson, it is said, ventured
upon a sneering joke which, small
though it was, but for Curran’s ready
wit and scathing eloquence, might
have done him irreparable injury.
Speaking of some opinion of counsel
on the opposite side, Cnrraik said ho
had consulted all his hooks, and could
not find a case in which (he principle
in dispute was thus established. “That
may be, Mr. Curran,” sneered the
judge, “but I suspect your law library
is rather limited.” Curran eyed the
heartless toady for a moment, and
| then broke forth with this noble re
taliation: “It is very' true, toy lord,
j that I am poor, ami this circumstance
I has certainly rather curtailed my
! library. My books are not numerous,
I but they aro select, and I hope have
| been perused with proper disposi
lions. J have prepared myself for
I this high profession rather by the
| study of a few good books than by the
J composition of a great many bad
ones. lam not ashamed of my pov
erty, but I should be ashamed of my
wealth if I could stoop to acquire it
by servility and corruption. If I rise
not to rank I shall at least be honest,
and should I ever cease to be so,
j many an example shows mo that an
| ill-acquired elevation, by making me
I the more conspicuous, would only
; make mo the more universally and
I notoriously contemptible.”
Mr. Stephens. —The President call
ed, to see Mr. Stephens on the tin].
When ho asked him “how are you, Mr.
Stephens ? ’ he replied, “I am sinking
General. My physicians do not ad
mit this, I know; but I know that I
am sinking and will not bo here many
days longer.” The friends of the il
lustrious statesman must hope that
he deceives himself in consequence of j
his excessive weakness. They most
anxiously rely upon the opin-j
ions of the physicians and trust
that he will be better iu a short time, |
and will be spared for the good of!
his country as well as himself. Be
sides that of the people of his own
State, there is a wide spread national
sympathy for the distinguished su;-
ferer.
Striiuh and Charities. —ln New
Turk yesterday, while 55,000 men
j out of employment, are petitioning
the Legislature to appropriate $2,000,-
000 for public works, iu order to give
them employment, several other thou
sand are iu arms because they are
asked to labor i 1 r twenty’ cents an
hour instead of twenty-four, which ,
they have been receiving; and appro- 1
bensions arivifelr, g-’.fj disturbance of:
j the peace to result from the attacks
lof the strikers upon those men who
may be employed to do tho labor.
| This is a strange illustration of in
consistency, obstinacy and blindness. !
Tho mass of mankind iu such times !
as these will be only too happy to i
compromise on conditions which make
comfortable subsistence possible.
The Sick Man of Mexico to re !
Looked After.—A AVashington spec
ial to tho New Orlunzc- Timex says,
some information was received from j
Mexico by the State Department on 1
Tuesday night which leads to the |
opinion among army officers, that the j
United States may have to interfere
between the contestants for the Presi- j
deucy. Fish refuses to give any hint'
whatever as to the nature of his die- j
patches. Ho will only say that they !
are important. A person high in
authority said this morning that it j
would probably lead to a cession of j
the Northern Mexican States to the
United States.
Tiie cold in Russia has been more
severe this winter than for 153 years.
In St. Petersburg, on December 30,
the thermometer feil to 32 degrees
(Reaunnur) below zero. Several
cabmen were frozen to death on their
seals, and cats, pigeons, and sparrows
were found dead in the streets. Large
tires were kept burning at night by
tiie police for the benefit of the pub
lic. In Moscow the Grand Theatre
was closed for want of audiences, the
people being afraid to venture out in
the cold.
Two women and a man are under
arrest in Philadelphia. They com
prise the Charity Relief Association.
They hired a house, put out a sign,
collected money from benevolent per
sons, and pocketed the urqceeds.
They are said to have operated iu the
same manner in other cities. The
man professes to be a clergyman, and
looks like one. The women are glib,
pretty, and accomplished in the trick
of getting subscriptions out of suscep
tible men.
Luioi Lucasi and Cora Blanchi, San
Francisco sweethearts, had a bitter
quarrel. At the end of their last in
terview lie was found with a deep
knife wound in his breast ; but neither
he nor she will tell which inflicted it.
She stays by bis bedside in the hospit
al nursing him, and they are entirely
reconciled.
The Rhode Island House of Repre
sentatives has repealed the clause of
the general statutes prohibiting the
intermarriage of whites and blacks.
When the roll was called there were
30 yens and 30 nays. The Speaker
voted iu the aifirmative.
If Won’t Pay (o Ailvorti.se.
O, no, it never pays any people,
who can’t see beyond the end of their
own nose, to sustain any public enter
prise in their midst. It won’t pay lo
have good schools, good churches,
j clean, nice and well shaded streets in
j their own city. It won’t pay to have
more than half dozen hungry mer
: chants, with goods on their shelves
and their clerks lounging about on
the counters for (ho want of custom
ers to buy their goods. We admit that
that won’t pay, and yet men calling
1 themselves business men, persist in
! such a course. It won’t pay farmers
|to have a good newspaper in their
families; but above all else, it won’t
pay any people to have published in
their town a well conducted weekly
newspaper, for it is sure to build up
every interest of its citizens, give
character lo the town, and bring in
men and capital, thereby causing
those already citizens, to grow wealthy
and enterprising; so we must con
clude, in the face of all incse facts,
that it won’t pay to advertise. Well,
: stick to your policy, gentlemen, and !
| you will soon see your error.
The Louisiana Disclosures. —The
scandalous disclosures elicited bv the
House committee show the “true in
wardness” of the Louisiana Return
ing Board in a light which must star
tle and shock all honest Republican
minds. It is not surprising to hear
| that, under the force of these rcvcla
j tions, “Gov. Wells is sick,” and that
| according to a dispatch to one of the
New York papers, Gov. Kellogg is ro
j ported to have exclaimed, “This is
h—ll, ain’t it ?” Most people will agree
with what is here imputed to the Gov
ernor, or that if it. isn't it ought to lie.
The witnesses reveal a degree of cor
i ruption or corrupt purpose not imag
ined even of the Louisiana Returning
Board, and a readiness on the part of
I Gov. Wells, in particular, to sell out
I to any and everybody, without regard
. to race, party or previous condition, so
I long as it would put money in his
| purse. Whatever mayjbe thought of
iho witnesses Maddox and others, itis
very certain they cannot he worse than
the Returning Board, and it was nat
ural enough that, where there was
such an unclean concern as that the
birds of prey should gravitate to- 1
wards it.
\A no dares to say that tho people
|of Louisiana are not overtaxed ?
Why, it is only a week or two ago 1
! that the .whole State, property nd I
people, were put up for sale at a mil
lion of dollars, and found no pnreha- j
sere—that wo know of.— Ne.iv Orleans ]
Times.
Well added, “that you know of.”!
How do you know that Wells didn’t j
find a purchaser ? It is hardly to be i
supposed that he undertook the dirty
job in which he is now engaged, and
which has already cost him forgery
and perjury enough to damn a whole
wilderness of AVellses, without com
pensation.-—Sarannah News.
The Truth Coming to Light at
Last. —A Herald correspondent in
New Orleans claims to have informa
-1 tion that Judge Miller, of the United
States Supreme Court, in a letter last
December to Judge Ballinger, of Gal
| veston, Texas, expressed in emphatic
I terms his belief that Tildun had been
| elected President, and that a conspir
acy existed to court in Hayes. In
this letter ho also allude. 1 in severe
! terms to some acts of the administra
tion iu connection with the Southern
elections and the carpet-bag govern
ments of Southern States, expressing
the hope that “wo might yet be
saved from an outrage and infamy
which, if allowed to be consummated,
might well make one despair of the
country in which such tilings could
be possible.”
Grant submitted ids plan for specio
resumption to the Cabinet Saturday.
He thinks currency can be brought
to a specie within a month, and, ac
cording to the New York Herald's
Washington correspondent, says
“everything will come outright pretty
soon for the project,” which is to issue
$100,000,000 of four per cent, gold
bonds to fund greenbacks, the bonds
to be valid as bank reserves on depos
its and security for circulation. There
are many hundred thousand men in
the United States who do not regard
the Presidential “project” as illustra
tive of linancial wisdom, though Grant
evidently thinks be knows all about it.
Clouds Breaking Again.—This time
says the Mobile Regisi ‘i\ the clouds
are actually breaking, and no mistake.
The conspiracy to sell out Louisiana
to anybody who would buy, and the
secret dispatches to Weils under an
assorted name, leave but little doubt
that the grand high joint commission
will put Tilden and Hendricks into
the seats to which the people elected
them. Now we can talk about those
offices again.
It is stated on good authority that
President Grant has known for a con
siderable time of the efforts at bargain
and sale by t'-e Louisiana returning
board, and that this is partly the key
to liis Louisiana policy, and that the
suppressed portion of bis interview
early in the winter with Mr. Hewitt
had reference to the facts, and was
the occasion of his saying then that
the vote of Louisana ought to be
thrown out.
A hard job for an editor—to write
the obituary of a merchant who never
advertised.
A stay law is now under consider
tion by the Pennsylvania Legislature
providing among other things, “that
i upon all judgments now romain
| ing unsatisfied, or which may bo ob
tained within six months after the
passage of this net, there shall boa
stay of execution for two years," pro
vided the defendant is possessed of
real estate, in the opinion of any
court or judge in vacation, worth, at
! a fair valuation, a sum sufficient to
| satisfy tlio same over and above the
' encumbrances and the amount ex
j ompted from levy and sale, upon exe
cution. Stay laws aro a bad device,
| and nothing but the most extraordi
nary state of affairs will justify them.
The present Pennsylvania proposition
j looks as if it were in the interests of
! land owners.
A hill lias been introduced in the
; Rhode Island Legislature lo prohibit
interference in State or municiple
- elections by persons holding offices
under the Federal Government.
This furnishes conclusive evidence
that even Northern Republican States
are beginning to perceive that Federal
usurpation in the South, if permitted,
will bo extended over the whole coun
try. So it will be.
Peach in Furore. —Once more the
European telegrams begin lo bint
that peace is possible. The fact is,
chill penury represses the noble rage
of Russia. Times are too hard for the j
expensive luxury of war, and the
Turk is about getting an under-hold
of Russia by the pacification of her
revolted provinces. The Sultan has
manifestly outgeneraled the powers
in diplomacy.
Tire sickest person ever known in
I any community is tho Atlanta man
j who bought a country' cow and en
i deavored to drive her across Broad
I street bridge by the usual rout. The
Jcow is at home getting flier calf to
[sleep, while the man is supposed to
i be off somewhere searching for some
| thing harder than a rock and bigger
i than an anvil io kill her with.
It’s come out just as everybody
expected, after all. The problem (if
the immortality of the soul has been
j vexing for ages, and here’s Rev. Jo
seph Cook, of Boston, who makes it
all clear by the simple statement that
“existence after death is hut a postu
late of a psychological analysis of the
soul. Rev. Cook deserves the thanks
of a relieved world.
The widow of General Braxton
Bragg filed an inventory of his estate
a short time since, in Galveston. It
footed up SI,OOO. Ic is sad to think
that one who donated liiy time and
talent to the public, should pass away
without leaving anything for tho sup
port ol his family-. General Bragg
was a patriot and honest man iu the j
fullest acceptation of the terms.
Avion ; the buildings recently ex
humed at Pompeii is a drinking sa- 1
loon with its tables and other appur-1
tenances. The pictures frescoed up-1
on the walls represent tavern scenes.!
Men are drinking and gambling ai I
tables, others are seated upon wooden I
benches against the walls, and others
arc standing in conversation.
“I iiaf cooked,” said Mr. Tilden’s !
prize cook to Mr. Lorshcituer the otu
er day, “for two great men, the Em
peror of Brazil and the Governor of
New York, and both of them want |
their dinner in the middle of the day, i
and eat him in twenty minutes.” The j
kitchen functionary would find Grant’s j
appetite a great comfort.
When great men suffer themselves :
to be subdued by the length of their I
misfortunes, they discover that the
strength of their ambition, not of
their understanding, was that which \
supported them. They discover, too, I
that, allowing for a little vanity, heroes'
are just like other men.
Friendship and Civility.— Bo civil!
and obliging to all, dutiful where j
God and nature command you; butj
friend to one, and that friendship j
keep sacred, as the greatest tie upon
earth, and be sure to ground it upon |
virtue, for no other is either happy
or lasting.
Being directly before your own j
mind the well known fact t hat children
delight as much in exercising their
minds as their limbs, provided only j
that which is presented to them be
suited to their capacities and adapted
to their strength.
A W isconkin inventor has patented
a corn cutter, which is attached to the
operator’s foot, so that every step ho \
can cut a bill of corn. When the op-1
orator makes a misstep he cuts bis j
own corn, so there is no time lost.
Contentment is not a brawler, nor i
disturber of tin* peace, but should the
sheriff want him for n purpose, he
would sooner look for him iu the poor
man’s cottage than in the rich man’s
palace.
This year the Southern States
raised 10,000,000 bushels more corn
than in 1875. Illinois is the largest
corn grower of the Northern, Ten
nessee the largest of the Southern
States.
Children sweeten labors, but they
make misfortunes more bitter; they
increase the cares of life, but they!
mitigate the remembrance of death.
Only one person in ten thousand
lives to bo one hundred years old,
and but ono in a hundred reaches
sixty.
An Augusta man fell into tho canal
tho other night and then went homo
and imagined that he had formally
betrothed himself to a country lady
J with till ears painted yellow, who
I sent him a bouquet comprised of fat
sparkling lizzards tied with a green
snake with point luce eyelids. Tho
betrothal lias turned out to bo alia
dream, but to the cml of his life ho
will remain convinced that ho received
the bouquet and played with it.
Lkvnino over the gate last week,
says “llohokus, ' I saw approaching a
| pretty girl that I had not seen before
in three years. 1 exclaimed: “Well,
Alollie, Tin so glad to see you that
I’ve half mind to embrace you.”
Drawing herself up to full height, the
' ready answer was: “Sir, do you take
| me for an opportunity V”
Rkv. JosKrii Cook rather unneces
sarily asks, "What becomes of tho
"eked?” Mr. Cook, we thought, had
been in England long enough to>
know that usually they practice law
for a while and eventually go to tho
legislature.— Norwich JJulhiin.
“Wiierevi-m you find many men
! you find many minds,” exclaimed a
i public speaker. “ Taint SO, by jin
go! ' responded one of the auditors.
| "If you ask this whole crowd out to
take ad ink. you'll find them all of
(he sc,io mind.”
“Tm ’’said the doctor, senfon
tiously. The hu.-.bnnd of a year rushed
out on the back porch, thought upon
his slruder ineoic", glared upon tho
snow clad vard and exclaimed with a
wild, mocking laugh: “Son-struck in
January.”
A yoono lady was recently cured of
palpitation of the heart by a young
M. D., in the most natural way im
aginable. He held one of her hands
iu his, put his arms around her waist,
and whispered something iu her left
ear.
A Bai.timok!: aftemph 1 suicide was
■ accompanied by this note: “To the
Coroner: Plea: pass my body over
to the student of the Medical Univer
sity of Maryland in Baltimore. Most
j respectfully yours, Dead.”
A rnopiiinc item:/., r remarks: Pal
estine is to have a railroad, and tho
cry will soon be: “All board for Je
nmalem. Passengers for Moab and
tho Dead Sea will [.lease remain in
the forward car.”
“I .v! ■[ I might die,” saida senti
mental maid, as she stood rubbing
the shoulder of her dress with ben
zine. Ami yet tho very next time bo
1 came, she let him lay his head right
iu the same spot.
“No man was better included to
pre-judge pork than my husband
was,’ said Airs. Partington. “Ho
knew wlmt good hogs were, lie did;
for he had been brought up with ’em
from his childhood.”
"Come, Bill, it’s ten o’clock, and I
think we had better bo going, for it’s
time honest men wore at home.”
“Y ell, yes,” was tho answer, “I must,
be oft, but you need not hurry oil that
account.
A delated citizen, from whom a po
liceman was trying to rescue a lamp
[lost a few evenings ago, violently re
sisted the endeavor, exclaiming:
“Lemma ’lone; I’m (iiic) holel’n’ th’
: fort.”
A little five year old of Dorchester
somewhat surprised his mother a few
j days ago with tho remark: “God is
everywhere; lie is all over me; and
when you spank me you spank God.”
Laziness is not always evenly dis
tributed over a fellow. You may
have known a great many lazy people,
but did you ever know anybody who
diun t use his mouth enough ?
\\ hat ugly looking brat is that un
der tho window, Susan? Why, that,
is mine, replied .Mrs. J. Oh ! call tho
dear, beautiful, pretty little creature
in, and let me kiss her.
By don wrote: ids sweet to hear the
| watch dog’s honest bark. From
| which we infer that Byron never at
tended a midnight sociable in a fann
ers watermelon patch.
' You are a brilliant and versatile
bouquet ot loveliness, ’ ho said, with
a voice that was lo.v and soft, and in
return she warbled: "Dry up, George;
you’ve said enough.”
Tins is positively the latest: I would
I Here a school warm and among tho
school warms baud, with a small bov
stretched across my knee and a ruler
in my hand.
A little California girl wanted tho
doctor to vaccinate tier pet dug, be
cause she did nut want its com-
I plexion spoiled by tlm small-pox.
The saying that “there is more
pleasure in giving than receiving,” is
supposed to refer chiefly lo kicks,
medicine and advice.
The Canon City girls don’t take
; kindly to croquet. They say it’s too
: high-toned for them. Leap frog is
their best hold.
California housewives describe soda
as “that ’ere stuff you put iu biscuits
to make ’em git up and Grecian bend
themselves.”
A daiikey’s instructions for putting
on a coat were: “First de right arm,
deu de left, and den give one general
couwulsion.”
Wnvis a mad bull an animal of a
convivial disposition ? Because be
offers a horn to every one he meets.
These new styles of paniersdo away
with newspaper bustles, and a journal
must run on its merits alone,”
Blown, in his honey-moon, calls his
wife his saint; Jones, ten years mar*
ried, sadly echoes his ain’t,.
No. 51.