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@ljc (iNijcttc.
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II Mi*. O’lltirris Turned.
Tho other night a laboring man named
O’Harris was drinking beer and playing
cards in a Grand River avenue saloon,
when somebody asked him what sort of
a wife he had.
“The humblest, ilocilest little woman
in all this world,” he replied.
“Doesn’t she ever say anything about
your spending your evenings away from
home ?”
“Never a word.”
“And has she no objections to yom
spending half your wages in beer and
cards?”
“if she has sho doesn’t state ’em.”
“lint won’t she turn on you some
day ? You know that even a worm will
turn ?”
“Faith and she will that. I’ve been
going on in this way for the last four
teen years, and for the last two I’ve been
looking for a climax. A wife sutlers
about so long and then slio turns on
you. ”
Not more thun live minutes had passed,
and the men were busy with their cards,
when a woman ojiened the door and
slipped in. She stood for a moment to
get Hie range, and then made a bee-line
for the laborer. Off went his hat, the
hair flew in showers, and over went tho
table with its glasses and cards. Five
or six badly frightened men rushed out
of doors in a body, the last one helped
along by a push from a chair, and as the
laborer took tho middle of the street
and gathered himself together for some
tall running he cried out with a lump in
his throat:
“It’s my wife, and she’s turned at
last. I’d like to see tho worm which
would upset seven men and a saloon in
the elegant manner just witnessed in
side I” —Detroit Free Press.
Lewis ( ass and His Preceptor.
Tn a pamphlet giving reminiscences ot
Dr. Benjamin Abbot, the first Princi
pal of Phillips Exeter Academy, which
has been compiled by Prof. Waterhouse,
the following anecdote is related: “Lew
is Cass,” said Dr. Abbot, “was a very
wild boy. One day his father, Major
Cass, came to me and asked me if I
would take his sou, ‘Certainly; but
why do you ask me ?’ ’Oh, the young
ster is headstrong and hard to manage.
I am an officer and can govern soldiers,
but that boy is too much for me.
’What does he do ?’ ’Plays truant, runs
away from hie work, steals off without
my permission to go a gunning, fishing,
and swimming, and is full of all kinds
of pranks.’ ‘Well, send him to me, and
PI 1 see what I can do with him.’ The
boy was placed under my charge. Sev
eral months later I met his father, and
asked him how his son was gettin
along. ’Well, Sir,’ said he, ‘if Lewis
was half as afraid of the Almighty as he
is of yon I should never have any more
trouble with him.”’ In relating this
incident Dr. Abbot fairly shook with
the laughter which the recollections of
Major Cass’s answer excited.
SUMM EHVI I LL, UEOROI V WEDNESDAY EVENING, AUGUST i><>, 188*4.
THE RTHO.
A I ami of Imraisliod gold,
My fingers gently hold,
Did through the magic circle of its ri*
Before my dimming eye*,
A tlumMUul memories rise.
\ud fill my soul with longing, vague and dim.
1 act m to see the gate,
At which I Used to wait
evr her who g.ivo to me thin token sweet,
1 fee! a tender thrill,
That calls to mind the hill
Where hours, like moments, tied on pinion*
UCvt.
Tho form of youthful grace,
The smiling, tender face,
Is near me srill, in spirit, though tho years
Have slowly come and fled,
And cherished hopes lie dead,
Along my way too thickly strewn for team.
Oh, little band of gold !
A wealth of joy untold
Your shining circle conjures to my mind,
An t will - until my breath
Shall meet the kian of death,
And ull the pain of earth be left behind.
James 0. ll abvet.
M A HI! VINO AN HEIRKSS.
Tin* Inflight, stealing softly through
iin-heavy Bilk window draperies of tho
i' : ti \ ul Abbott Court, became trans
i orm ed into u sort of crimson duskiness
Hi;* clear, low-burning tire glimmered,
uko coral, all aglow —and the two ruddy
paths that betokened the whereabouts
f the two gentlemen and their cigars,
.-hone steadily from the cushions and
chairs on either side of tho hearth.
Dinner whs just over- tho clock in the
hull had chimed seven and Mr. Abbott
and his distant cousin, and adopted son
were alone together.
“My dear Gerald, you must bo crazy,”
said the elder gentleman, in a tone of
great, though repressed irritation.
■’My dear Mr. Abbott, I never was
more sane in my life.”
“But just look at the advantages of
the thing I I tell you she is young and
pretty, with au independent fortune in
her own right ’’
“May I never sink so low as to be
come a fortune-hunterejaculated Ger
ald, fervently.
“Pshaw —nonsense I and Berkeley and
1 have both set our hearts upon it I”
“Mr. Abbott, I would rather walk up
to a cannon’s month than have a wife
thrust at me in that sort of way—it is
repellent to every manly feeling of my
nature."
“I only ask you to see her, Gerald—
she is coming to New York in a week,
and ”
“And I shall take particular pains to
leave (own in a week !”
Tho elder gentleman fired up instan
taneously.
“Gerald, I forbid you talcing any such
foolish step, at the peril of being turned
out of my house !”
Gerald colored high. “Mr. Abbott,
you have been very kind to me for years,
I feel that I owe you almost a son’s duty
and allegiance--hut in this matter I can
not be dictated to.”
“Take your choice, sir,” ejaculated
Mr. Abbott, who had now wrought him
self into a towering passion; “either
leave my house and protection, or com
ply with my wishes about this young
lady; and I give you until to-morrow
morning to think it over.”
Gerald was silent; lie could not trhst
himself to speak—and it was a relief to
him when Mr, Abbott rose, and left the
room.
The next morning, when the coffee
and newspaper were brought in, no
Gerald made his appearance, only a
note instead, thanking his benefuntor
for the uninterrupted kindness of years,
and announcing his intention, for the
future, to depend on his own exertions
for a livelihood, rather than toconlractu
marriage, so opposed to all his wishes
and predilections!
Mr. Abbott read tho note through
with a contemptuous "hump!” then
tore it in little pieces.
“The young scamp I” he muttered;
“he’ll be back fast enough, \ warrant
me. Earning one’s own living isn’t such
an easy affair to a man who has been
brought up as he has, and so lie’ll find
it. I never knew such obstinacy in my
life—the ungrateful, reckless young
vagabond I”
Nevertheless, tho old house seemed
very sad and lonely without the light
footsteps and cheerful voice of the
adopted sou.
“I didn’t know I was so fond of him,
the more fool I !” grumbled Mr. Abbott.
“But he may go his own gait for
all me.”
Meanwhile, Gerald, full of spirit and
ambition, was sitting in a dismal hotel
parlor, where the chimney smoked, and
tho paper was peeling off the wall in
mildewed spots, taking down various
memoranda from the advertisingcolumns
of the newspaper.
“Anong all these ‘wants' I should
think I might manage to satisfy one or
two at least,” he exclaimed gayly to
himself as he rose, buttoned his over
coat and drew on his glovd. “At all
events, I am ready and willing to work.”
“Jones A* Cobb,” the first place,
looked dubiously over the four spectacle
glasses at the young applicant; “they
could not think of employing a young
man who could not bring Bolid refer
ences from his last place.”
“Solomon & G 0,,” the next ou the
list, “wanted no raw hides," and politely
motioned Gerald to tho door.
“Parker A Swift,” a gift enterprise
establishment, required a deposit of one
hundred dollars—au item Gerald did
uot happen to possess.
“Markham A Markham’s," light and
easy place, turned out to lie that of a
heavy porter; and the “Splendid oppor
tunity to realize a fortune,” in which
Gerald had unconsciously built many
hopes, was to peddle from door to door
a newiy-inventod variety of blacking.
Footsore and weary, tho young man
returned to his hotel, late at night, with
thoughts and ideas by no menus so san
guine ns when he had sallied forth, and
serious cogitations on tho subject of tak
ing cheap lodgings.
It was not so easy to obtain a monoy
maklng situation in New York ns he
had supposed.
So passed away a week—ten days—a
fortnight, and he was as far as ever from
obtaining a place where ho could earn
his daily bread, while his slender stock
of funds was fast decreasing, and his
spirits beginning to sink ill proportion.
Vague thoughts ot enlisting or work
ing his passage loross seas in some
great American vessel—of seeking em
ployment in the country ns a farm
hand- -were passing through his mind,
when one morning his eye caught the
following advertisement:
“Wanted—-A private tutor to instruct
three boys in French, German nnd
Latin, three hours a day. Apply at
street.”
Tt was a straw, but Gerald clung to
it, and half an hour afterward he was
silling in a snug library in a handsome
brown-stone house, nervously awaiting
an interview, having sent lip liis name
as “Mr. Selwyti.”
“For I feel that I ought no longer to
hear the name of Abbott, even though it
is justly mine,” lie thought,
Fr; sently a plump matron iu blue
silk and flowing cap-ribbons, sailed into
the room—Mrs. Audley, tho mother of
the three boys in question, rosy varlots
of nine, ten nud eleven, who followed
her with eyes eager of curiosity.
Tommy, Raymond and Harold were
duly introduced, and their mother at
once explained the difficulty of obtain
ing sufficient attention at tho school
they had been attending, and her many
perplexities as to the best mode of
teaching their young ideas how to shoot.
‘‘ l’h. y are such sad rebels that the
governess can do nothing with them,
and, really, Mr. Selwyn, I sometimes
think they will grow up as ignorant as
threo young savages! Adelo advised
mo to advertise for a tutor, an excellent
idea, I’m sure—and —and as for
terms—”
She hesitated anil looked piteously at
the tutor, unaware that Master Ray
mond wits surreptitiously drawing ill 1
the hairpins out of lier chignon.
“Having never taught before, I am
unable to name any precise sum,” said
Gerald, almost as much embarrassed as
was she, herself.
“Dear mo, how awkward -but Adele
thought—my sister fancied that if you
would come tlireo times a week, per
haps five dollars a lesson would bo about
light I"
“1 shall be quite satisfied with that
arrangement,” replied Gerald, to whom
it se* med as if a mine of gold were
suddenly opening.
Fifteen dollars a wool: I He thought
of the solitary dollar in his purse, and
rejoiced in spirit 1
The lessons commenced the very next
day—but at about tho third one, Mrs.
Audloy’s blue ribbons and plump face
once more made their appearance.
“Now I’m going to be politely dis
mis.-ed,” thought our hero, with a cold
chill at his heart 1 But no such ill-for
tune awaited him.
“To tell you the truth, Mr. Selwyn,”
said the rosy matron, “my sister, Adele,
is anxious to perfect herself in German,
and I told her I was sure you wouldn’t
object to her joining the class—”
“Hurrah ! won’t it he jolly for Aunt
Adelo to study with us I” bawled
Harold.
“Harold, be still 1” said his mother,
despairingly. “Tom, if that chair
should slip, you would fall headlong into
the fire 1”
“I shall be happy to have tho lady
join our class,” said Mr. Selwyn, pictur
ing to himself a spectacled old maid de
voted to inky fingers and "belles-let
ters.”
“Thank you; anil would two dollars a
lesson—”
“It would be quite satisfactory, mad
am,” said Gerald, bowing.
“Very well - I'll call Adelo.”
And Adele came—no spectacled
maiden lady, but a beautiful little dam
sel of eighteen, with golden brown
curls, eyes of the most limped hazel and
lips like twin cherries.
“Dear mo, are you the tutor?” said
Miss Warren, frankly. “Why, I
thought you were a fussy old fellow of
fifty 1”
Gerald laughed, he could not help it;
and thus melted away all the formality
of their first meeting I
Adele was the moat charming pupil in
the world—ready to learn, quick to com
prehend; and invaluable in repressing
the noisy spirits of the three boys, who
one and all idolized “Aunt Adele,” and
would even commit the sacrifice of keep
ing still tor five consecutive minutes to
oblige her I
So the lessons went on, tor two or
three weeks, and one night, Gerald Sel
wyn, walking home by the dusky glim
mer of the winter twilight, checked
himself suddenly iu the middle of the
street.
"It's dangerous,” he muttered be
tween his set teeth. “By Jove, it's as
dangerous as playing with a powder
magazine I fm in love with her now
desperately, modly in love—l, the poor
tutor. Well, good-by to the lesßous. I
had better starve than forget my manly
honor and honesty.”
So, the next, day, when lessons were
over and done, Tom, Harold and Ray
mond had considerately taken them
selves off to base-ball; Gerald spoke to
Miss Warren.
“Miss Adele,” heflhid, faltering a lit
tle, in spite of himself, “f am afraid
this must be our last lesson."
“Our last lesson I” Blui turned as
white as the mautle-pieoe. "Why?
Have we said or done anything to offend
you ?"
“By no means; our intercourse has
been pleasant, beyond my fondest hopes;
in fact, too pleasant I”
Adele’s cheek orimsoned again—she
looked earnestly at the young man.
“You mean—”
“I mean,” he broke forth, passion
ately, “that I have been mad fool
enough not to see you without losing
my heart 1 I mean that I love you—
that t cannot longer remain here, with
out expressing my love—that you are a
favorite of fortune, and l only a poor,
half-starved tutor I Good-by, Adele—
let mo call you Adele just once 1”
“1 am a favorite of fortune, indeed,”
she said, gently, “if I have been able to
win the affection of so true and noble a
heart. Gerald—l love you, too—
stay I”
And she hid her blushing face upon
his shoulder.
Half an hour afterward, she insisted
j upon leading him into tho parlor, lo
j confide iu Mrs. Audley.
“For I want Susie to know ail about
it,” she said, with a pretty, coaxing
smile, which it was impossible to re.
sist; “Susie always liked you so much.”
Mrs. Audley was in the parlor, lint
Mrs, Audley was not alone, two elderly
gentlemen were sitting with her.
“This is my Uncle Berkeley, Mr.
Selwyn,” Adele said, introducing Gerald
to the older, “and this is Mr. Abbott.”
“Gerald I” cried liis adopted father
seizing both his hands with a grip that
made llicin ache.
"Sir I” echoed the astonished young
mail.
"Row is this?” exclaimed Mr. Abbott
looking from Adele to Gerald, and back
again. “Surely you have never ”
“(hit I have, sir,” said Gerald, resolu
toly. “ I love this young lady, and I
would marry her if forty heiresses stood
in the way.’’
“It’s the very ouo ! —it’s Berkeley’s
niece, and my little pet, Adele Warren 1”
roared Mr. Abbott, in an ecstasy of de
light. “To Bay that yon should have
gotie and picked her out, and fallen in
love with her yourself, after all your
protestations I Adelo, this young villain
whose arm you’re leaning on is my
adopted son, Gerald Abbott 1 Berkeley,
Fate lias declared in our favor most sig
nally.”
Yes, it was true. Gerald had walked
into the very complication he had
schemed so desperately to avoid, and
Allele's blue eyes had been the lode-stars
to attract him thither. But she had
been as unconscious as himself, that she
was stealing away tho heart of Gerald
Abbott instead of Mr. Belwyu tho ob
scure tutor.
Great was tho rejoicing of Mr. Abbott
when his adopted sou, once more received
into the highest favor, was married to
the very heiress he had selected for him I
“ Never mind her money, old fellow,”
said he, gently, “yon will have all mine,
one day, and that will make you even I”
Money I as if Gerald could think of
money when he looked into Adele’s blue
ayes I
Con. MaijOzbwski, who died lately at
his home in Prussian Poland, was 100.
While serving in the Prussian army he
was taken prisoner, and forthwith en
tered the French army and took part in
many of Napoleon’s campaigns. After
Waterloo he went home, but in the ris
ing of 1830 entered the Polish army and,
being taken prisoner, passed forty-seven
years ill Siberia. Ho was only released
in 1870.
Wine vs. Dress.
A Spanish writer goes into a calcula
tion of tho cost of visiting a Paris
dressmaker’s establishment. His wife
must have a mi iilest bal 1 dress, not over gar
nished with hand-woven felicities, either;
but this gown will cost S4OO. Now the
husband is tho owner of a viriyard-
Wine sells in the crude at fifty cents the
six gallons, and 4,800 gallons will be
necessary to purchase the garment
Each acre will produce in moderate sea
sons 600 gallons a year; therefore eight
acres of grapes will be required. But
then consider the digging, hoeing, re
hoeing of the vine stock, the sulphuring
of tho grapes, tho salary of the super
intendent, the cost of grape picking, the
endless jiruning, and the nurturing of
the vine sprouts. All this will cost per
haps S3OO, so that the liquid product of
the eight acres will not, after all, lie
more than SIOO. It is indispensihle,
consequently, that one should he the
proprietor of thirty-two acres of excel
lent vines if one would give to his wife
that dress.
NO 31.
TALKS WITH THE BOYS.
HOMK IJOOU AIJVH’K TO Till: KISINO
OKNttItATIOiN.
\ IzOmnoii Ih l.lfc—Wlini \on l*o. Ho li
W i ll anil Kfrrlvp Your l(i > Hiiril<
if yon have arrived at the age of
15 ot 18 it is timo yon looked matters
square iu the face nnd had some idea of
your future. If you were to answer at
once you would say that you would taka
a profession in preference to a trade. A
profession mean* several years of hard
study, quite a large cash outlay awl
'lieu trials' and rebuffs to get a start
in business. Tt is one thing to graduate
as a lawyer or a doctor, and quite
another to piok up clients and patients.
If you have fully decided on a profession
bo careful of your first move, If yon
have a large head your grandmother
lias doubtless many times exclaimed:
“What a groat lawyer this boy would
make." Don’t try to make one on the
size of your head. We’ve got any
number of that class in the country
now, and they can’t pay thoir grocers’
bills. If yon can pull a Bliver out of
your linger without winking it may bo
a sign that you would make a good
surgeon. It may also be a sign that
you are born to be a butcher. How
will you know what to pursue? Your
own feelings are the safest guide. If
left to your parents and to circumstances
you may he forced into a trade or pro
fession which yon can never make a
success. When you come to realize
that you must make your own way in
life your particular forte will be apt to
reveal itself. One of the best lawyers
in Detroit was intended for the ministry;
another served three years as a jour
nalist, but all the time feeling that
he was out of liis element; another was
forced by his father to learn the trade of
harness maker. I know* a machinist
who at first studied medicine; of a
watchmaker who tried to become a
lawyer; of a carpenter who threw away
three years of his life trying to become
a dentist.
After you have selected your profes
sion or trade, what then ? Strive to
master it iu all its details and to excel.
If you become a carpenter, don’t be
satisfied when yon can saw and plane
and match. Don’t be satisfied with $2
per day. Make yourself worth $3. Mas
ter details, and push yourself from cai
penter to builder. Don’t imagine that
a man in search of a lawyer walks down
the street and drops in at the first sign
hanging out. It is the lawyer who has
climbed above his fellows that lie seeks
out. If our friends are ill we want the
best dootor. We want the man who lias
made himself the best by study and
energy. The blacksmith who is content
to mend old wagons will never iron a
now one. The machinist who stands at
the lathe to do about so much work in
ten hours need not hope to lie better off.
It is the men who put their heart into
what they do who succeed.
I can name you twenty instances in
Detroit where skilled workmen have
been taken as partners in large fac
tories. The clerk who is capable, honest
and persevering is bound to win a
higher position. The joiner who does
liis work to last for years instead ot
months is never out of work. There
are house painters who are satisfied to
stand on a ladder or scaffold at $‘2.50 per
day. There are other house painters
whose energy and enthusiasm have
made them sign-writers and decorators,
and raised their wages to S4O per we’ek.
It is not so much what you do, but how
yon do it, that brings prosperity.
M. Quad.
Down on Enterprise.
A Detroiter who moved to Southern
Indiana and went into business a ten
months ago will return next week. He
settled in a town where they did not ap
preciate his enterprise. He invented a
self-rising pancake, and they fined him
SSO for advertising it oil the side of the
mooting house. Ho dropped the price
of codfish to three cents, anil boneless at
that, and three butchers in tho town
waylaid and pounded him. He refused
to make his grocery tho headquarters of
old bald heads who wanted to talk horse
and jaw about hard times, and someone
bored holes in his kerosene barrels and
started the story that he poisoned his
first wife. A month ago he brought out
anew baking powder, advertised it on
the fence around the graveyard, and
hired a boy to follow u funeral proces
sion and distribute bills. That night
they tried to blow him up with dyna
mite, and a shingle on which was writ
ten “You are too previous for this local
ity. ” was nailed on his house. The gro
oer will come back to Detroit. Here he
can make the fur fly and the hair stand
on end and the blood of tho public grow
cold with his flysheets in Bibles, and
there is no one to make him afraid.”—
Detroit Free Press.
A youno man who was addicted to the
opium habit in a California city, stole a
coat from a room iu Ms boarding house,
so that ho would be sent to jail for a few
weeks, where he oould not obtain the
drug. But to his dismay ho fouud that
his crime was a burglary instead of
petit larceny, and he was sentenced tc
the State prison for a term of years.
Efforts are now being made to secure
Ins pardon.
QUAKER CITY WIT.
A HATCH ONTII A V .IOKRM FROM TUB
“GVGMNIt C A1.1..”
IIAKD TO SUIT.
Little Jnak "Tell mo a story,
auntie.”
Old Maid Aunt— "What kind of a
story ?”
“Oh, just a story without any moral
to It, and 1 without any instruction
either. I don’t like the kind my gov
erness tells.”
"Well, lot mo son. Oh, yes, when I
was a girl—”
“Oh, l don’t liko that kind.”
“Wlmt kind?"
“Stories about ancient history.’
TWO OIIAMPTONS.
Friend—“Ah I glml to see you, Blank.
How did your great boat race with Swift,
the champion sculler, como oil?”
Blank (champion oarsman) —"I won.”
"Glad of it; glad of it. I was afraid
he would beat you. What time did you
make ?”
“An hour and a half.”
“Groat Leonidas! Au honr and a
half. Why it’s a ten-minute course,
and I have seen you do it in eight.”
“Well, you sco that villain Swift sold
out the race end was bound 1 should
beat him and ho rowed as slow as he
could.”
“But why should that effect your
timo? Why didn’t you spin over the
course iu eight minutes ?’’
“Well, you see l had sold out too, nud
wanted him to beat me.”
A HARD-WOBKINO MYTH.
A beautiful Promise stood in tho hotel
rntri sot mopping his brow.
“Yon seem exhausted,” said a Settee.
“Exhausted I I gness you don’t know
me. Not much I I’m just getting
warmed up to my work. I’m willing tc
bet I can do more hard work between
now and election day than anybody.”
“Do you never rest ?”
“Oh, yes; right after election I’ll gc
to sleep, and you won’t see mo again
for four years.”
WORTHY OP ITS NA Mil.
Irate Customer—“ See here, sir, I
bought one of those lightning ice cream
freezers of you last, week.”
Dealer—“ Well, it proved worthvof it*
uamo, didn’t it?”
Rate Customer—‘’Worthy of its name i
Why it turned the cream sour.”
Dealer—“ Yes, that’s what lightning
does. ”
TERRORS OP GOTHAM I,AW.
Warden —“Ah, ha I Got nabbed at
last, did you? Guess a week in the
dark cell will do yon good. What did
you do? Steal a coat?”
Newly Arrived Prisoner—“ Coat !
coat I I have not had any coat but my
own in my possession.”
Warden —"Robbed a till, perhaps?”
Prisoner —“Certainly not, sir. I ran
away with $5,000,000, but dill not run
far enough, that is all.”
Warden—“Ah, ueg pardon. Would
you like your apartments single or ou
suite? Here, Mike, take tho gentle
man’s had and put the champagne on
ice.”
* PERFECT RRIOK.
Jones —“1 don’t see how you can call
that idle, dissolute fellow a ‘brick.’ ”
Smith—“And why not a brick ?”
“A brick iH of very great use in the
world. Asa part of a wall or chimney
each one is valuable, but that fellow is
absolutely worthless.”
“But I was uot referring to a brick
in a wall or chimney, when I used the
term. ”
‘ ‘To what, then ?”
“I meant a loose brick.”
A REAP YEAR HINT.
Maud—“ Why do they put wax on
champagne corks, Mr. Sliyman?”
Mr. Skyman—“To keep it."
“To keep it ?”
“Yes; unless perfectly air-tight the
stuff becomes spoiled, and won’t pop.”
“Ohl was it your mother’s failure to
wax you when you wore young that
spoiled you ?”
“Spoiled mo I”
“Yes; you won’t pop, either.”
ARRIVING IN EUROPE.
Princess Beatrice—"Ma, there’s u
man at tho door says lie wants to buy
Windsor Castle."
Queen Vic.—“ Mercy on us I Call the
police. Ho nniHt boa lunatic. Thera
is not a man in England rich enough to
buy Windsor Castle.”
Princess Boatrice—“But ho is a®
American.”
Queen Vic.— “What is his business Y
Princess Beatrice—“He is a plumber.”
Queen Vic. —“Ask him in.”
HER PECULIAR PAPA.
“Do yon know, Miss Smitliers,’’ re
marked young Featherly, “that there i?
something very peculiar about yom
father ?”
“Something very peculiar about my
papa?” repeated Miss Sniithers, who
loved Featherly passionately, but purely.
“Yes,” the young man went on, “very
peculiar. ”
“And what is it, pray ?’’
“It lies iu the tuet that although he i
not a grandfather, he has a gran.l
daughter.” — Drake's Traveler’s Ma go
tine'
A SMART DOG.
“Speaking of animal Hagaoity,” re
marked Jones, “I have a dog that takes
the cake.”
“In what way?” asked Smith, lan
guidly.
“Well, you seo,” was the reply, “I
aau’t bear organ-grinders and got in the
habit of setting the dog on them.”
“A good idea.”
‘ ‘Yes, but it seems that the dog got a
notion it tho was not organ-grinder, but
the monkey I objected to.”
“Not at all strange.”
“Well, the other day a regular young
dude called to seo my daughter, and
would yon believe it that dog actually
knew the difference and never touoked
him.”