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PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY'
—AT
BKLLTON, GA.
BY JOHN BL ATS.
Terms —sl.ou per annum ; 50 cents for six
months; 25cents for three months.
Parties away from Bellton are requested
to send their names, with such amounts of
money as they can spare, from 25c. to JI.
In financial circles abroad the fol
lowing classification is made of the finan
cial condition of three States: Chili is
poor, has few debts and pays promptly.
Peru, notwithstanding its rich mines, is
poor, with a big debt, which it promises
to pay’ but never does. Bolivia is also
poor, has a large debt, promises nothing
and pays less.
The eminent journalist, Emile de Gi
rardin, speaking “in the name of three
millions of illegitimates that exist in
France, and to the number of which
he dogs not conceal the fact that he be
longs,” argues that illegitimacy is an er
ror of the law and not a disgrace of the
person. He depicts the family of the
future thus: First, the mother, a dow
ager, and adminstering her own fortune
in virtue of the regime of the separation
of goods, which is to become the legal
regime of France; second, equality of
the children before the mother and be
fore the law. In order to approach this
ideal he thinks the institution of divorce
must be introduced, but only as a pro
visional means.
The country need not be alarmed at
the great influx of bills in Congress.
Nearly all of them will go quietly to
their long sleep in the pigeon holes of
the committee rooms. Almost every
congressman has a number of constitu
ents who think they have a call to take a
hand in national legislation. As the ob
stinate and unappreciative people will
not send these amateur law-makers to
congress, they have no resource but to
prepare bills embodying their erudite
conceptions and send them to “our mem
ber,” with a request that he present
them. The obliging member complies,
but has no further interest in the matter.
This is why so many unwise measures
are offered. It is a sort of ventilation
that does no great harm, while it makes
many persons happy.
The night before thanksgiving an old
couple in Mercury, Massachusetts, were
visited by a stranger, whom the mother
at last recognized :is herson. More than
fifteen years before he was with Cushing
in the exploit against the ram Albemare,
and never being heard of afterward, was
supposed to have been killed. He was
struck by a piece of a torpedo, and was
taken ashore in the Confederate boats.
After his wound was healed he was set
at liberty, knowing nothing of his name
or home. Finally he took employment
with an ex-confederate surgeon, who
opened the wound and lifted or trepanned
the skull. His condition so improved at
the end of a year that his memory re
turned and he went home to bis l
thanksgiving dinner as though nothing
had happened.
Official whippings are continued
regularly at Newcastle, Delaware, and
are regarded as a matter of course by the
residents, though strangers are sometimes
shocked by the sight. On the last whip
ping day five convicted thieves were
punished. The first was a German,
who was not severely lashed, and he
walked away smiling. The next was a
miserable tramp, who bore the ordeal
without flinching. Two negroes who
came next, writhed and muttered under
pain of severe blows. The fifth was a
boy of fifteen. He was so frightened
that it was necessary to force him to the
js>st, and at the first blow he desperately
freed himself by pulling his hands out of
the staples. A handkerchief was used to
fasten him, but he g- loose again la-fore
the prescribed twenty blows were com
pleted and pathetically begged the sheriff
not to strike so hard.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Six newspapers are published at Bris
tol, Tenn.
Gold is more plentiful than greenbacks
in Augusta, Ga.
Columbia, S. C.,“wants to be made a
signal service station.
Coal from Richmond county, Ga., is
soon to be put upon the market.
Some negroes in Lowndes county,Ala.,
have been arrested for counterfeiting sil
ver.
Atlanta, Ga., will have a fair for the
public library next month, to last a week
or more.
Extra fine lump coal is selling in
Knoxville, Tenn., at ten cents per bushel,
delivered.
Fifty locomotives and over five hun
dred cars are in use on the Western &
Atlanta railroad.
The question that concerns the south
ern plantersis: “Shall we see fifteen
cent cotton ?”
Dallas, Texas, is crowded with negroes
on their way to Kansas, who stop there
for supplies.
Col. Alfred Rhett has been appointed
by the governor chief state constable of
S mth Carolina.
Oranges sell on the streets of Lake
City, Fla., at from fifty cent- to one dol
lar per hundred. ’ ,
ThOorth Georgian.
VOL. 11.
Rockdale county, Ga., has voted in
favor of prohibition, and local option is
becoming popular in the state.
The negroes held a big convention at
Forsyth, Ga., Saturday to consider the
feasibility of emigrating to Kansas.
The state authorities of Texas have
sent out detectives to watch how the
bell-punch is rung by the saloon-keepers.
There arc already fifty-three applicants
for the position oi secretary of the de
fiartment of agriculture of North Caro
ina.
California salmon are being extensively
distributed in the streams of West Vir
ginia by the fish commissioner of that
State.
McMinville (Tenn.) New Era: The
celebrated Ducktown copper mines were
sold at public sale a few days since for
the sum of $63,000.
There were only five deaths at Jack
sonville, Fla,, during November, and
of tha’. number was a colored woman
said to be 125 years old.
The peanut crop of Virginia, Tennes
see and North Carolina is estimated at
about 1,835,000 bushels—an increase of
500,000 bushels over last year.
Thirty-live gin houses have been de
stroyed by fire this season in Georgia
and Alabama, with an estimated loss on
machinery and cotton of $50,000.
Greenville, 8. C., had a disastrous fire
Sunday, destroying the Academy of
Musie, valued at $35,000, and other
property in the building worth $16,500.
The liquor dealers of Galveston, Texas,
who were convicted of violating the Sun
day law, have lieen hired out under the
county convict act at the rate of two
dollars and a half per month.
Dr. Edtnond Strudwiek, a prominent
physician of Hillsboro, N. C., aged sev
enty-eight years, accidentally swallowed
a few drops of belladonna, and died be
fore a remedy could be had.
Near Lexington, Va.,n few days since,
a farmernatned Gillespie was killed by a
negro named Mitchell, who had been at
tending his farm. The dispute arose
over the division of the crop.
The board of aldermen of Richmond,
Va., has rejected the council proposition
to submit to the voters of that city the
question of voting a subscription of $750,-
000 to the proposed James River Valley
railroad.
The number of Methodist churches in
Orange county, Fla., has been increased
from seven in 1875, to thirty-live in the
present year, an averageof seven churches
a year. Other <lenoininathifis have nl-<»
largely increased.
Nashville American: An average of
forty car-loads of freight arrive, here
daily over the Evansville railroad. This
does not include thirty car-loads of coal,
which are received every day from
Southern Kentucky.
The bell-punch register has come to be
regarded in Texas as a mere farce. In
Houston one leading saloon which regis
tered over 1,300 on the malt register for
October, shows only nineteen glasses of
beer sold during November.
Montgomery Advertiser: Another Ala
bama lady has entered the field of histri
onics in search of fame ami fortune-
Miss Louise Clarke. She has recently
read to delighted audiences in Atlanta,
and will soon begin a regular tour of the
southern cities.
Lexington (Va.) Gazette: The police
of this place are now dressed in full uni
form, in very respect similar to that
worn by the Philadelphia police. Their
new overcoats were made in Philadel
phia by the contractors who supply the
police of that city.
A prominent agent at Memphis who
has kept up with the reaction following!
the exodus furnishes statistics showing
that 8,000 persons have returned from
Texas during the nine days ending Sun
day last. A large per cent of this class
return to east Tennessee and Virginia.
Col. John B. Palmer has resigned the
presidency of the Charlotte, Columbia
& Augusta railroad, a position he has
held for many years. He will he suc
ceeded by Associate Justice Haskell,
who retires from the Supreme Court of
South Carolina to accept the position.
Charleston (S. C.) News: The bill to
regulate the sale of patent medicines,
now before the general assembly, pro
poses to make, it unlawful to sell in this
state any medicine the combination of
which is unknown, unless an accurate
formula of the component parts be at
i tached to it.
A young lady at Jackson, Tenn., was
entertaining a gentleman friend the other
evening, when he offered her an insult.
She at once drew a pistol, compelled
him to knee] on the floor and remain un
til her mother cams in and heard the
i whole affair, after which she allowed
I him to sneak off.
Galveston (Tex.) News: A young
! gentleman of this city had the pleasure
of eating an oyster that harliored within
I its shell eighty-five little pearls. They
' were exhibited at the News office, anti
| range in size from a mustard seed to a
' -mall pea. The oyster came with a ship
; ment from Indianola.
Nearly one million pounns of leaf to
bacco was seized at New Orleans a few
days since by revenue officials for an al
leged violation of the revenue law, in
converting leaf tobacco by hydraulic
pressure into a form which is believed
by the officials to be manufactured to
bacco, and therefore liable to a tax of
I sixteen cents per pound.
Lynchburg (Va.) News: In a suit
i pending in the corporation court between
G. and S., it was found necessary to have
I the deposition of Mrs. Al.. of Tennessee.
■ A process was accordingly issued to “any
I commissioner, justice or notary public”
Ito take said deposition. The process
BELLTON. BANKS COUNTY, GA„ DECEMBER 25. 1879.
! wa- placed in the hands of a negro con
j stable, who made the following return
“this witness is sick in bade Chile one
w.ike ole.”
. Montgomery (Ala.) Advertiser: On
Friday last the supreme court room was
, the scene of an event that has never be
fore occurred in our state. On that day
resolutions were introduced commemora
tive of the death of ex-Chief Justice E.
S. Dargan and ex-Associate Justice Ly
man Gibbons, both of .Mobile. It has
never before occurred that the death of
two ex-judges of the supreme court was
officially announced on the same day,
Dallas (Tex.) Herald ; The Sanctifica
tionalists are gathering here again, audit
is whispered that they are holding dark
lantern meetings. This fact was brought
to light by Mr. William Buchanan, a
prominent and respectable farmer of Na
varro county, coming to the city - in
search of his wife, she having preceded
with the avowed purpose of joining the
band. He is an old man, ami she is rep
resented as being a rather young woman.
Memphis Ledger: We sold more cot
n Thursday than any previous day in
the history of Memphis. We have now
the largest stock on hand ever held at
one time, and our receipts a week ago
last Monday were the largest on record.
The receipts of the past six weeks are
•10,000 bales ahead of last year, and we
are close to receipts of year before last,
when nothing obstructed the movement
of the staple at any time during the sea
son.
Fourteen years ago a Frenchman
named Bess’tt was imprisoned at Rich
mond, Vn., for counterfeiting, and soon
after made his escape, leaving the coun
try. He left a wife in Virginia, who,
after mourning his loss for several years,
married again and finally married a
third limo. Only a few days since Bos
set t appeared in his old neighborhood do
find his wife living happily with another.
She was arrested for bigamy at the in
stance of Bossett and is now in jail await
ing trial.
11 i ——
A Reverse of Fortune.
When Robert Stephenson was rcsicl
ing in Columbia and on the point of re
turning home, he arrived at the port of
Cartagena, wearied and waiting for a
ship, and while sitting one day in a
large, bare, comfortless public room of
the miserable hotel at which he put up,
he observed two strangers whom he at
once perceived to be English. One of
the strangers was a tall, gaunt man,
shrunken and hollow-looking, shabbily *
drossod, and apparently poverty stricken.
On making inquiry, ho found it was
Trevethick, the builder of the first rail
way locomotive! He was returning
home from the gold mines of Peru penni
less. He had left England in 1816,
with powerful steam-engines, intended
tor the drainage and working of the Pe
ruvian mines. He met with almost a
royal reception on his landing at Lima.
A guard of honor was appointed to at
tend him, ami it was even proposed to
erect a statueoi Don Ricardo Trevethick
in solid silver. It was given forth in
Cornwall that his emoluments amounted
to £IOO,OOO a year, and that he was mak
ing a gigantic fortune. Great, there
fore, was Robert Stephenson’s surprise to
find this patent Don Ricardo in the inn
at. Cartagena, reduced almost to his last
shilling, and unable to proceed farther.
II” had indeed realized the truth of the
Spanish proverb that “a silver mine
brings misery; a gold mine ruin.” He
and his friend had lost everything in
their journey across the country from
Peru. They had forded rivers and wan
dered through forests, leaving all their
baggage behind them, ami had reached
thus far with little more than the
* clothes on their backs. Almost the only
precious metal saved by Trevethick was
n pair of silver spurs, which he took back
with him to Cornwall. Robert Stephen
son lent him £SO to enable him to reach
England; and, though he was afterward
heard of as an inventor there, he had
no further part in the triumph of the
locomotive.
Building a Church.
Brother Gardner stated that be was in
receipt of a personal letter from a col
ored man in Indiana, asking the club to
contribute financial aid to assist him and
four other colored men in building a
church. “ I favors de church,” ex
plained the president, “but afore I
make any contribution to de cause, I
want to be sart’in that those five culled
men can't do all de prayin’ that am
necessary right at home. If dey can’t,
and must have a church, will dey pay
their pew rent? Dat’s de stick. Some
men will clan off' a doc tab’s bill; some
will hang off’when dey owe a butcher;
oders will walk a mile roun to keep
away from the grocery what dey got
trusted for a codfish; but de sixty y’ars
I has put in on dis ears hev taught me
dat de man who am ready to come right
down wid pew rent when it am due, hex
yet to be born. I know fokscs in dis
town who Jiav’ been trablin’ to rds
j heaven for de last twenty y’ars, prayin’
: in a voice loud ’null' to shake de
i plasterin' down, and yet in debt to the
i church for pew rent till dey can’t reckon
I up de figgers.”
-
Deciding a Bet.
There was a discussion among a party
i of miners, at Leadville, as to physical ef
fects of hanging. Mr. Edwards declared
I that, on a wager of $5, he would permit
his compnnions to draw him up from
the bottom of a shaft by a rope tied
around his neck. His belief was that,
by throwing his head far back the pres
sure of the rope would be wholly on the
back of his neck, and consequently he
would not be choked at all. His calcu
lation proved erroneous, for he was
nearly dead when he reached the surface,
and it was with great difficulty that his
life was saved.
TR UTII, JUS 7 ICE, LIB ER T F.
THE TWO BBIDE*.
BY JULIA DORR.
Wr two win stand in the shadow hers,
To see the bride as she passes by;
Ring soft and low. ring loud and clear,
Ye chiming bells that swing on high!
Look! look! shocoinesl The air grows sweet
With the fragrant breath of the orange blooms,
And the flowers she treads beneath her feet
Die In a flood of rare perfumes I
She comes! she comes! The happy belli
With their joyous clamor fill the air,
While the great organ dies and swells,
Soaring to trembling heights of prayer
Oh! rare are her robes of silken sheen,
And the pearls that gleam on her bosom * raow;
But rarer tne grace of her royal mien,
Iler hair’s flue gold, and her cheek’s young glow
Dainty and fair ns a folded rose,
Fresh as a violet dewy sweet,
Chaste as a lily, she hardly knows
That there are rough paths for other feet.
For love hath shielded her: honor kept
Watcli beside her by night and day;
And evil out from her sight hath crept.
Trailing with slow length far away. .
Now in her perfect womanhood,
In all tho wealth of her matchless charms,
Lovely and beautiful, pure and good,
She yields herself to her lover’s arms,
nark! how the jubilant voices ring!
Ix>! an we stand in the shadow here,
While far above us the gay bells swing,
I catch the gleam of a happy tear!
The pageant is over. Come with me
To the other side of the town, I pray,
Ere tho sun goes down in the darkening sea,
And night falls around us, chill and gray.
In the dim church porch an hour ago,
Wo waited the bride’s fair face to see;
Now life has a sadder sight to show,
A darker picture for you and me.
No need to seek for the shadow here;
There are shadows lurking everywhere;
These streets in the brightest day are drear,
And black im tho blackness of despair.
But this is tho house. Take heed, my friend,
The stairs are rotten, the way is dim;
And up the flights, as we still ascend,
Creep stealthy phantoms dark and grim.
Enter this chamber. Day by day.
Alone in this chill and ghostly room,
A child—-a woman- -which is it, pray 7
Despairingly waits for tho hour of doom!
A!i! as she wrings her hands so pale,
No gloom of a wedding ring you see;
There is nothing to tell. You know tho tale—
God help her now in her misery I
I dare not judge her. I only know
That love was to her a sin and a snare,
While to the bride of an hour ago
It brought all blessings its hands could bear!
I only know that to one it came
Laden with honor, and joy, and peace:
Ito? gifts to the other were woe and shame,
And a burning pain that shall never cease I
I only know that tl»e soul of one
Has been a pearl in a golden case;
That of the other a pebble thrown
Idly down in a wayside place,
Where all day long strange footsteps trod,
And the bold, bright sun drank up tho dew!
Yet both were women. O righteous God,
Thou only c%ust judge between the two!
MARIE, THE PAUPER.
BY V. BUrONT.
During the “ Reign of Terror” in
France there were many deeds of daring
performed, even by women, and many
noble examplesof affection exhibited.
The very streets of Faris were deluged
with human blood, but near the guillo
tine it ran in gushing torrents.
One dark morning an unusual number
of rhe aristocracy had been marched
forth, and countless heads rolled from
the block.
A gaping multitude stood by, and
with shouts rent the air as the aristoc
racy were thus butchered.
Among the assembled multitude that
dreary morning, were two females. One
of them was plainly clad, while a cloak
was thrown around her, with which she
kept her features nearly concealed.
But a close observation would betray
the fact that the woman had been weep
ing.
Her eyes were inflamed and red, and
she gazed eagerly upon the platform,
while a shudder passed over her frame
as each shock of the glittering knife
severed the head from the body of some
one who had been unfortunate enough
to fall under the ban of the leaders.
The face of the woman was very beau
tiful, and she was young—certainly not
more than sixteen or eighteen years of
»ge-
The other female was quite different
in character. Her face was fair, but
there was a brazen expression about it.
She was clad in rags, and as each head
fell she would dance, and in various
ways express her delight, and then ex
claim:
“There falls another aristocrat, who
refused me charity when I humbly sued
to him?”
Each expression of the kind would
create a laugh from those who heard her.
But any thoughtful person must wonder
how one so young could have become so
depraved.
The first female watched this creature
for a few moments, and then, pressing
her way to her side, she laid her hand
upon the shoulder of the wretch, and
wnispered:
“ Would you like to become rich at
once?”
The female in rags turned about with
a look of surprise, burst into a loud
laugh, and replied:
“ Os course I would.”
“ Follow me, and you shall be.”
“ Enough. Lead on.”
It was with considerable difficulty th.°t
the. females extricated themselves from
the crowd; but they did so at length,
and then the first female asked of the
other:
What shall I call you?”
’* Oh! I’m called Pauper Marie.”
" You live by begging?”
“ Yes; but what’s your name, and
what do you want?”
“My name is Marie, the same as your
own.”
“ Are you an aristocrat?”
“It does not matter. If you know
where we can find a room lead me to it,
and you shall have gold.”
The pauper led the way into a narrow
and filthy street, and then down into a
cellar, and into a dark and filthy room.
The other female could not but feel a
sickening sensation creep over her, but
she recovered herself. After contem-
NO. 52.
plating for a time the apartment and
what it contained, she asked:
“ Are you well known in Paris?”
“ Yes. Everybody knows Marie the
Pauper.”
“Are you known to Robespierre! If
so, I want to make a bargain with
you.”
“ I am. What do you want?”
“ You see my clothing is better than
yourown, andl wish to exchange with
you. I want you to consent to remain
here, and not to show yourself at all for
a short time, or until I come to you
again. As recompense for aiding me I
will give you a thousand francs, and
when I come back I will give you a
thousand more. As security for my re
turn take this ring.
The lady drew e. diamond ring from
her finger and gave it to the pauper.
Then she handed her her purse contain
inggold,
The girl appeared a little puzzled and
asked:
“ Well, what are you going to do with
my dress.
“ I want to put it on and go where I
first met you.”
“ Oh, I understand now. You want
to see i,he chopping go on, and you are
afraid you will be taken for an aristocrat
if you wear that dress. You want to
represent me.”
“ Yes, I want to look as near like you
as possible.”
“Well, that won’t be very difficult.
Your hair and eyes, and even your
mouth, is like mine. Your face is too
white, though. But you can alter that
with a little dirt.”
They changed dresses, and soon tho
young, rich and noble Marie de Nantes
was clad in the rags of Marie, the Pauper
of Paris.
The history of Marie de Nantes was a
sad one. Her father and two brothers
had fallen victims to tne remorseless
fiends of the Revolution, and a third
and last brother had been sei/ed. But
if his fate she was ignorant, although
she expected that it would be similar
to that of her other relatives. He had
been torn from her side but a few lu.jr»
before.
After the exchange had been made the
pauper looked on the stockingless and
shoeless feet and ankles of the lady, and
said:
“That will never do. Your feet are
too white and delicate. Let me arrange
matters.”
In a few moments Marie was prepared
and In the filth and rags she emerged
into the street.
She now took her course back toward
flic guillotine and at length reached the
square where the bloody work was still
going on.
Gradually she forced her way through
the crowd, and nearer and nearer she
came to the scaflqld.
She. even forced a laugh at several re- i
marks she heard around her, but those j
laughs sounded strangely.
She now stood within a few feet of tho ;
platform. i
She swept it with her eyes.
Her brother was not there. i
The cry was now raised: “Here comes '
another batch.”
Her heart fluttered violently, and she
felt a faintness come over her as she
heard the tramp of the doomed men ap
proaching.
The crowd opened as the body of men
passed.
Marie gazed among them.
A low cry escaped her.
Her brother was there.
But he walked proudly and fearlessly [
forward, and ascended the very steps ■
which led to the block.
Up to this time the strength of poor i
Mane had failed her, and she was unable i
to put her resolve into execution.
But now a sister’s love swelled up
in her breast, and she recovered her
strength.
She sprang forward, bursting through
the line of guards and ran up the steps.
Grasping her brother by the hand, I
she cried:
. “ What does this mean? It is only
the aristocracy that are to die.”
“Away woman!” exclaimed one of tho
executioners.
“ No. I will not away until you tell
me why my brother is here, and thus
bound.”
“ Your brother?” was the echo.
“ Yes, this is my brother.”
“ Well, who are you?”
“I am Marie. Don’t you know me?”
“ The Pauper?”
“Ay!”
“ But this is not your brother?”
“It is. Ask him—ask himl”
Young Antonio de Nantes had turned
a scornful gaze upon the maiden, but a
light passed at once across his face, and
he murmured:
“ Oh, my sister!"
“Is this your brother?” asked Ro
bespierre of the supposed pauper, ad
vancing near her.
“ It is.”
“ But his name is down differently.”
“ Then you are mistaken. He is my
brother. Ask him.”
“ Does Marie speak the truth?” asked
Robespierre.
“ She does,” was the brother’s reply.
“And you are not De Nantes?”
“ I tell you I am her brother.”
“ Why did you not tell us this be
fore?”
“ I attempted to speak, but was si
lenced.”
“ But you might have declared your
self.”
“ You would not have believed me.”
“ But your dress?”
“It belongs to an aristocrat. Per
haps to him tor whom I was mistaken.”
Itebespierre advanced close to young
Nantes and gized earnestly into his
face. Then he aproached Marie, and
(jeorgiaij,
Published Eveby Thursday at
BELLTON. OEORG-IA.
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
One year (52 numbers), $1.00; six month ß
(26 numbers) 50 cents; three months
numbers). 25 cents.
Office m the Smith building, ea t of the
depot.
looked steadily into her eyes for a short
time.
It was a moment of trial for the poor
girl. She trembled in spite of her
efforts to be calm. She almost felt that
she was lost, when the human fiend,
whoso word was law, turned and sa.id:
“ Release the man.”
The chains were instantly removed,
and Antonio de Nantes walked down
from the scaffold, followed by his sister,
while the shouts of those around rent the
air, for they supposed it was a commoner
who had thus been saved.
The young man worked his way
through the crowd as rapidly as possi
ble, leading Marie.
They had scarcely escaped it. before
the poor girl, fainted, from the intensity
of her feelings.
The brother scarcely knew what to do
but a hand was laid on his arm, and a
voice said:
“ Bring her to my room again. She
will be safe there.”
The brother conveyed her to the apart
ment of the pauper, and asked of her:
“Have you seen the female before?”
“Yes, I know all about it,” returned
the pauper. “ She borrowed my clothes
to save her lover. She has done it and I
am glad.”
Before the noble sister returned to
consciousness, the brother had learned
all.
When she did so they both sought se
cure quarters, after rewarding the beg
gar-girl as had been promised.
“ Do you think Robespierre was really
decided?” asked Marie do Nantes.
“1 think not,” returned the brother.
“Thet. why he did he order your re-
lease?”
“He saw your plan. He admired
your courage. Could a fiend have done
less?”
“ Perhaps this was the case. But if so
it was a deed of mercy, and the only one
that man ever did.”
“ You are right.” *-
Waifs and whims.
The dance for drunkards—the reel.
“ Government pap”—the Father oi «
his Country. *s*.
Next to nothing—a girl walking with
the average dandy.
“A”is ago ahead letter. You often
hear of a leading industry.
You’ll always find a good looking
glass.
“ The fairest of the fair,” is not al
ways the chairman of the awarding
committee.
The worst of dying by poison is that
you never can tell exactly where your
stomach belongs.
A new song is entitled “ My Love She
is a Kitten.” Kittens scratch like the.
mischief, and so perhaps does his love. '
Now is the season of the year when
the scissor-editor sharpens his shearsand
smashes up his crediting machine.
ADOLPHUS: Yes; if she is continually
casting sheep’s eyes at ewe it would be
perfectly safe to say that her eyes are
lambent.
The New York papers announce the i .
marriage of Air. Watson to Miss Watson,
My! Watsons ought to follow this
union.
The naughty boy that sticks pins in
his family pew must feel that there is a
painful necessity for a religious uprising ).
among his relatives.
A man never realizes how frail ho is
until ho bursts a suspender button from
his pants among a group of ladies, and
finds himself slowly falling to pieces.
A deaf man can get out of a crowd
as soon as any one when a collection is
to be taken up, and yet the fact has al- .
ways puzzled philosophers.
Grace Greenwood, they say, has
embraced spiritualism. Bot you a dol
lar spiritualism didn’t reciprocate.—Bur
dette.
It is a malicious woman who will .
slyly put long hairs on a man’s coat just
to make his wile jealous. — Henry Ward
Beecher.
They are proving so popular that
a fellow in this city thinks of starting
alone association with a young lady of
his acquaintance.— Sadie Stone.
The last cabbage remaining unsold
is like the most important man in a
hotel dining-room; it is a head-waiter.
Send up the saure kraut, please.
“If I punish you,” said mamma to
her little girl, “ you don’t suppose that
I do so for my pleasure, do you?”
“Then, whose pleasure is it for,
mamma?”
The Graphic says that no really good
man will seek a rich wife. Too true;
the rich wives are all reserved for the—
ahem—clergy.— N. F. Commercial Ad
vertiser.
The hardest work many a man has
done this fall has been to sit on a nail
keg in a country grocery store and tell
what a powerful man his grandfather
was to husk corn.
The most courageous are frequently
embarrassed whileaddressing a multitude
from a platform, and the thing is all tly, z’l
| more demoralizing if they happen to Be Vx ’
standing on a trap-door. x'
Man’s inhumanity to woman makes
■ countless thousands crawl out of a warm
bed to kindle the fire these cool morn
ings, while they roll over and take an
other snooze.
“ I never argy agin a success,” says
Josh Billings. “ When I see a rattle
snake’s head sticking out of a hole, I bear
1 of! to the left and say to miself, that hole
I belongs to that snaik.” jj
When a tramp was offered his dinner JI
if he would wield thescythe for an hourjO;
he soliloquized: “To dine—no mowerW (a
Ay! ci’s the grub.”—7/acZensaO "
j Republican.