Newspaper Page Text
Xoftlj MeorgiaTf,
PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
»
• —AT -
BELLTUN, GA.
BY JOHN BLATS'.
Terms—sl.o > per urnu ;60 cents lor six
months; 25cents fbr three mouth l .
Parties away from Bellton are requested
to send their n* ncs, with such amounts of
money as they can spare, from 2cc. to sl.
SBEvtsivin have cuhvim; et n.
The bright red you was retting on the egg of mnr
row’s dawn.
As a Vassar girl strollel, pigeon-toed, adown the level
lawn,
And the fading rays with roses wreathed the hair of
one wli*’ lay
In the gath’ring twlight lonely, fjllerl with terror and
dismay.
“She may'cry. and howl, and kluk up; but she
wouldn’t do my sum,
And I’ll never, never, never let her chew my chew
ing gum!”
“ Teacher,” Bessie’s . white lips faltered, as she
pointed to the niatd,
“Do hear that horrid creature? Do you know whs’,
ahe has said ?
Id her dark and gloomy pocket she is carrying her
looee
Boarding-school companion much as twenty sticks of
spruce,
And she says that 1 tdtail have none—l! her only
friend, her chum;”
And she spoke in husky whispers, “ I must have her
chewing gum!”
“ Bessie.” calmly spoke the teacher (every word
froze in her ear),
” For years I’ve taught at Vassar, and I will not in
terfere ;
I know the regulations, and respect the rules and
laws;
I am hcie to educate your mind, and not supply
your jitws.
1 have done my duty ever; I’ve l>een cool, discreet,
and mum;
But I can’t make Bertha Underwood give you her
chewing gum.”
Wild the girl’s eyes, pale her features, as she totters
up the stair.
And the dews fall in soft pity as the stars see her
despair.
Not a moment stops the maiden till she gains the u;»-
l>er flight.
And standh uwt in the darkness like an angel carvod
in night.
Now she enters Bertha*® chamber, and pants, “ Now
let her row;”
b'tills. her frightened heart's wild beating, “I must
have her chewing gum!”
Far out, the distant city sceuis a tiny, sparkling
speck,
Whereshe well rememliers often buying spruce gum
by the peek.
Above, the throbbing heivcns seemingly reflect her
soul,
In which the sphere* of vengeance their mighty
music roll.
Shall she rtin their diapason? Shall she smite their
anthems dumb?
She cruahea swiit the feeling; she must haveth.it
chewing gum.
Quick she strips the lied of clothing; quick she wmjw.
her in a sheet,
And the garment, winding tenderly, clothes her
from twad to feet.
Then in a darkened corner, like a member of the
host
Who sometimes wander back to earth, she stands, n
rigid gtioat.
And, panting, still she listens till she hears the faily
drum
Os Bertha’s fairy footate|*, bringing up that chewing
gum.
Sm'hayell! A quivering figure lies trembling on
the floor;
The very wind* atop sighing ns they shrink ba* k
from the door.
Swift the ghostly Bessie steals from where the gath
’ring shadows curl.
Arid bends in flattering triumph before the prostrate
gin.
V Ith trembling hands she searches in the pocket of
her chum,
And Cries out in her madness, ” I mu at have her
chewing gum.”>
The pale, soft moon rose slowly; ewch bright star
bent her head.
As the patron orb of Vassar tha*w her rays around
t he dead;
And, jik* another moon, the teacher climbed the
Winding stair,
To find fair Bertha robed in death, and Bessie kne< 1-
ing there,
With no remorse on that pale face, as she whimpered
softly, •• Come?
Jhr angels bare* got Bert ho, but /"re £Vf her chew
ing gum!”
- Brooklyn Eagle.
DO AS YOU'RE 810.
" Mind a man?'
These words were uttered in a tone of
splendid scorn; but au unseen auditor
round the corner of the piazza only
smiled; and yet he was a man.
“ But, Doll, you will have to mind
your husband,” responded a gentle,
drawling, exaspera'ing voice.
•‘Shall J?” returned the clear and
spirited notes of the first speaker. "He
has not appeared on the stage yet, Grace.
When he does, it seems to me, it will be
time enough to contemplate submis
sion.’’
The gentleman on the piazza amiled
again, but he rose qu etly and walked
away; he did not like to be a listener,
however involuntarily, for he was a gen
tleman. lie did not altogether escape
that presence, however, by his own ab
sence. He carried with him a vivid
picture of the tall, slight figure, grace
ful asa deer; the dark, tender eyes,
that could be full ot lightning; the
proud, delicate, sensitive face; the
abundant brown hair, shot with red
rays, like a ripe chestnut skin. He had
studied this portrait many days, for he
had known Dorothea Schenck as a
child ; and though for years they had
not met, this summer they were together
r.t a quiet little tavern in the hills of
Vermont, Mr. Horton for rest from a
year of hard work in a city parish, Dora
io be with her invalid m-ther, who
could not bear her usual round of New
port and Saratoga.
Dorothea Schenck wasaspoiled child.
The idea of obedience was as distaste
ful to her as bit and bridle to a wild
horse. Her outbreak this morning was
excited by s .me careless gossip of (-race
Hamilton’s —a girl of her own age who
had come with them to Addis, partly be
cause Dora had coaxed her, partly be
came it was cheap end Grace was not too
rich.
The subject of their discourse had
been the sufferings, publicly paraded,
of a certain little lady known to this
party, who had been very—and, indeed,
absurdly—extravagant, and brought
her husband to the brink of failure; so
near that he had been compelled to ac
cept a sudden and severe retrenchment
Grace’s aunt, who was also staying
the .Saltash House, had blamed Mrs.
Blake severely,, and Dora had not ob
jected till Grace affirmed that she did
net at all sympathize with Mrs Blake,
ar her husband had been very open with
her in regard to his business aflairs, and
had long since told her she must give
up certain habits of lavish expense, or
expect him to fail—a fart which the
natural levity and folly of the woman's
nature led her to treat as a threat; and
so the end came.
The North Georgian.
VOL. 111.
“And I’m not sorry for her; she
ought to have minded!” Grace said.
“ A woman’s natural duty is obedience;
she ought to have known that it is our
destiny to yield to cur superiors,”
whined Mies Hamilton; and this, which
seemed th Dora superlative cant, had
brought out her sharp exclamation.
She herself was utterly undisciplined;
a blind indulgence had' set her adrift in
life without an idea of duty, and she
had yet to learn any law but her own
will, or any restraint but her own ca
prices. Poor child! life is the sternest
of teachers, even with all the prepara
tions that can be made for its encounter,
and a merciless pedagogue to the willful
and ignorant. Mr. Horton was be
witched with Dora against his judg
ment, and her very insurgent way of
action and speech, captivated him; he
knew with painful clearness that she
was unfit for a minister’s wife as a woman
could be, but he knew also that with
out her his life would lose its savor, and
become routine of the dullest order, per
haps misery, though conscience warned
him not to be so weak as this, while his
work remained yet to be done.
The next day there was to be that
resort of country boarders in lack of
all other amusement, a picnic to Glen
Falls, a wild ravine in the heart of the
through hills, which a rapid brook tore
its way, plunging from one precipice to
another, at no one spot to be seen in
full beauty, but reserving its coy sur
prises for those who had skill and
strength to climb upward to its source
—a clear mountain pond that slept
amid dark woods, fed by hidden springs.
The day was warm, yet fresh with the
wonderful freshness of mountain air;
and when the long wagon of Saltash
House arrived at the foot of the ravine
all the younger members of the party
were unanimous in their resolve to climb
to Clear Pond, while the older ladies and
one white haired bachelor, who cared
little for scenery and much for his ease,
remained quietly on a broad rock by the
lower pool, where thick pine boughs
sheltered them from the sun, and the
cool odor of dripping water seemed to
disperse whatever heat the July
weather threatened. Two couples had
already gone upward, when Dora and
Grace, attended by Mr. Horton and
Ned Schenck, a cousin of Dora’s began
the climb Both gentlemen had been
sufficiently accustomed to forest paths
to make the matter easy as far as they
were concerned, but to feet only used
to the walks of the city or the smooth
turf of the croquet ground, this rough
yet slippery ascent looked fearful
enough; nor were kid boots the best prep
aration; for sharp rocks and moss
strewn with pine needles. Il seemed
all but impossible for Dora to attempt
such a task, but her pride forbade re
treat, while Grace, in despair, suffered
herself to be half carried up the steepest
pitches by Ned Schenck, and lifted
bodily over stones and logs that she de- j
dared herself altogether unable to stir- |
mount. Fortunately for her protector ;
she was slight, and not tail; he could |
easily spare all the strength necessary, ;
But Dora would not allow herself to be
more than guided, though the guidance ;
was peremptory.
“Put your foot here, Miss Schenck; |
now the other on that stone. Give me ;
your left hand, and take firm hold of j
that bough to the right.”
Dora obeyed with the most childlike !
confidence, for the abyss below her and j
the height above were alike terrible; but |
she had that best of courage which will ’
not turn back, though trembling with
terror.
Grace, from below, n helpless burden, \
saw with a sort of pique how well Dora
endured the march, and caught Mr.
Horton’s admiring glances at the lithe
figure that was at once so brave and
docile. To tell the truth, Grace had in- :
tended the handsome young clergy man
should be her own escort, and was not
at all satisfied at being relegated to Ned
Schenck’s care, who was strong and good
icnipercd, no doubt, but neither good-<
looking or rich. It was not from pure i
desire to tease that Grace called out, in I
her soft, drawling tones: “Doll, you are '
really a miracle. 1 never expected to |
see you ‘mind a man’ m> implicitly.”
Dora was indignant. She knew welt
that Grace could be spiteful, but the
spite did not hurt her as much as the
answering consciousness that, in spite of
her fine thecries, she had been most im
plicitly submissive to Mr. Horton’s es
cort. The girlish, silly pride that was
her great fault rose in arms. She did
not answer Grace, but, with a resolute
look on her flushed face, sprang onward
after her own fashion, stumbling and
c inging as well as she could, every mo
ment expecting Mr. Horton to advise or
remonstrate, but bent on heeding his
voice no more.
She expected in vain. He said noth
ing, and the smile on his face would not
have pleased her; heoniy followed fast
behind her till they came to a little
grassy platform at the head of the
stream, where the rocks retreated and
the trees had been swept away directly
in front of the last and highest fall,
which descended here at right angles,
with the rest of the stream, behind a
clift that hid it entirely from the lower
pool.
Grace had stopped far below; she was
heated and tired an angry too. Ned
Schenck did not care for her; so he sat
down on the other end of the log where
she had seated herself, and profaned the
delicate forest odors with a cigar. Dora
stooped a moment to take breath and ad
mire the beautiful fall before them,
[ which dashed its white water down the
sheer black rock, ana sprinkled with
whitedew the luxuriant ferns and vines
that fringed the bank on either side.
Then she turned to follow the very slight
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY, GA.. MARCH 25, 1880.
indication of a path upward. Mr. Hor
ton was ready to follow; but the moment
she set her foot on the rock which was
her first step, and extended her hand to
grasp a ledge above, which must be
climbed, he cried out, in a loud, impera
tive voice, “ Dora, stop!”.
The voice was so decisive, so power
ful, so full of that command which is
the counterpart of obedience, that with
out a thought of rebellion, Dora stood
like a statue. In an instant Mr. Horton
put his arm about her, swung her back,
and began to strike rapidly and fiercely
at something on the crest of the ledge;
and in another minute he lifted a dead
ratlesnake on his cane and flung it far
down into the stream. Dora turned sick,
and sat down on a stone, shuddering and
pale. Mr. Horton only said, “ Excuse
me, Mies Schenck; the danger was too
near for me to be less imperative.”
Dora shivered. “If you had not, I
should be dead now.”
“ Not at all,” laughed Mr. Horton.
“ I know these tvoods too well to be.
ever without the proper alleviations for
a snake bite, but I never yet used them,
though 1 have met and killed a good
many. Rattlesnakes are dull creatures
unless they coil to spring, and one blow
with a heavy stick will kill them. Very
few people die of their bites. I have
only heard of one case in these, regions,
and that was a child who had strayed
alone in the woods.”
He purposely lengthened his expla
nation, that Dora might calm herself;
he did mot know how it was still throb
bing through her heart that he had
called her “Dora.” Her natively gen
erous instinct demanded some thanks at
least to be paid, but she could not speak
yet; she. was shyly glad, yet angry with
herself for being glad ; and trembling so
with the sudden nervous shock, she
could not for some minutes speak
aga-n.
Mr. Horton stepped down to the
water’s edge, and seemed absorbed in
looking at the fall, but his heart beat as
wildly as her’s; in that moment of dan
ger he had discovered what deen hold
Dora had taken of his ii r e. He did not
think of her unfitness to be his wife, of
her scorn, her wild impulses, her quick
temper. Like many another man in his
case, he thought onlvof her beauty and
its sweetness, and felt that she must
love him or he would be miserable.
Blessed < rdination of things! If men or
women chose their mates as they flo
their shoes or their books, with deliber
ation and cool judgment, this dear, de
lightful, naughty old world would come
to a sudden end; it is wise they never
do.
It seemed an hour to both of these as
tonished people, yet it was barely five
minutes, before Dora looked at Mr. Hor
ton* and said: “I don’t know how to
thank you. I can acknowledge now it
is good to mind a man—-sometimes.”
There was a soft, arch look in the beau
tiful dark eyes that contracted the
quivering lips; hut the lovely, blushing
face told what Dora never meant to tell.
Mr. IL-rton knelt down on the grass be
side her.
“ Oh, Dora, I would not be a truant,”
he said. And Dora dropped her headso
low that it rested on his shoulder.
Mrs. Horton also declared her hus
band never as.xed her to marry him,
which he indignantly denied as often as
she asserted it; but however the union
came about, it was true—for everybody
said so—that no gentler, sweeter, hap
pier minister’s wife everfilled that diffi
cult position in the city of Ludlow,
where Mr. Horton was settled; even
Grace Hamilton could not find fault
with this match, though she bad pr -
dieted all sorts of jot rows from its "radi
cal unfitness.” But time had not soft
ened Grace’s native spite, though she
controlled it during her brief visit to
the parsonage. On the next Christmas
morning a package came by express, di
rected to Mrs. Horton: on the inner
cover of the thin box was written, “ For
Doll’s room,” and as the last fold of
tissue paper was lifted, an elaborate il
luminated motto appeared:
” Uome when you’re called,
Do as you’re bid,
Shut the door after you
And yoll'U never be chid.”
Her husband was looking over Dora’s
shoulder, and they both laughed.
Grace’s arrow was pointless for such
trust and happiness.
“I’ve only changed my mind,” said
Dora, “and that is every woman’s privi
lege.”
“And I have only abdicated, and that
any king may do,” retorted her hus
band.
“Have you?” said the wife, incredu
lously
The truth was that neither knew how
to differ from the other with comfort.
The New Kind of School.
The dicipline of the Quincy schools
I of B >ston astonishes the old-fashioned
j teachers. While it was being explained
by one of the committee the other day,
i an old teacher objected, “ but—this is
very noisy.” “ Precisely, madam ; this is
I a workshop, mt a funeral. You can’t
have a beehive without a buzz.”
“ And.” continued the critic, “ that
little boy in the plaid jacket whispered
to the iittle girl in white.” “ Quite
likely, madam; we can readily find an
excuse, for bright-eyed, curly-headed,
1 rosy-cbeeked little boys will whisper to
; little girls in white. We once had a
I tendency in that direction ourselves,
and we do not see any occasion for pound
: ing him or shaking him, or standing
' him in the earner, or putting him in a
! dark closet, or even appearing to notice
jit all.” Teachers make a great advance
j in school government when they learn
I how not to see.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
The present State Librarian of Ten
nessee is a lady.
Oranges are shipped from Palatka,
Fla., direct to England.
The South Carolina cotton factories
give support to 10,000 persons.
A negro in Morgan County, Georgia,
has trapped ten beavers this winter.
Natchez, Miss., is building a yarn
mill 48 by 100 feet in size.
At Erala, Miss., J. W. Musgrove
died at the age of 103 years.
Savannah has contributed $2,178.76
to the Irish relief fund.
The colored Good Templa Vrs in ir
ginia, have organized a Grand Lodge for
that State.
The Mississippi legislature has fixed
the compensation of its members in fu
ture at S4OO per session.
(During the last few months 4,300
dogs have been killed in Dallas, Texas,
and the work still goes on.
Atlanta has distributed among the
farmers of Georgia this season 15,000
Kentucky and Tennessee mules. •
The Texas newspapers are advancing
their subscripton rates on account of
the advance in the price of paper.
The only colored school in Columbia,
8. C., has been closed from lack of
funds.
’’’he Enquirer-Run says that there is
not an available sleeping-room in Col
umbus, Ga., unoccupied.
The largest sugar mill in Louisiana is
in St. Charles parish, and was erected
in ninety days.
A YOUNG lady in Vicksburg cowhided
a "oung man who sent her a comic
va’entine.
Several young ladies are attending
the medical colleges at Nashville, and
will be graduated during the present
term.
At Martin, IGa., amatch dropped into
some cotton and started a fire which de
'■’* o red the cotton gin of R. D. Gow,
and also a saw mill belonging to him.
All the Southern Railroads are ship
ping guano. The Observer says that
whole trains loaded with it pass through
Charlotte, N. C.
In Henderson County, Tenn., a man
only twenty-six years old, was married
to a woman who has experienced sixty
five winters.
During the last four weeks at least
1,000 emigrants have passed through
Chattanooga on their way to/Texas and
the West.
At the late special session of the
South Carolina Legislature, fifty-nine
acts and eight joint resolutions were
passed.
Chattanooga firmes during last
month shipped 500 barrels of eggs over
the East Tennessee and Georgia Rail
road. •
The Quitman (Ga.) Reporter believes
that the farmers in that region have
lost enough in spoiled meat to about
offset the benefits of the rise in cotton.
s.The Agricultural Commission of
South Carolina has already turned over
to the State Treasurer SII,OOO privilege
tax on fertilizers.
At Covington, Ga., farmers are buy
ing largely of guano, and prospects are
favorable for a large clipping of wool.
Small grain is looking well throughout
that section.
The Gazette says that there are old
gray-headed men in Hawkins County,
Tenn., who have never seen a steamboat.
The Holston river runs throngh Hawkins
County.
The Charlotte (N. C.) Observer savs
that the demand for phosphates as a
fertilizer is so great this year that the
manufacturers will not be able to fill all
their orders.
A steam woolen mill is to be started
at Charleston, Tenn. Three citizens
have subscribed $9,000 to the capital
I fund, and no difficulty will be experi
! enced in raising the balance necessary
I to begin operations.
Nashville American: The Commis
■ sioner of Agriculture, Statistics and
Mines is now in daily receipt of letters
making inquiries with a view to the
purchase of farming, mineral and tim
bered lands in Tennessee.
An Ohio man who had a mortgage for
$lO3 on the colored Methodist Church
at this place came down last week to
foreclose it, but the colored people
raised the money Sunday and paid it
off.— Winchester Run.
Nashville American: Seventy-one
: operatives from cotton factories South
arrived here yesterday, and, with others,
will begin work at the Tennessee Cotton
Manufactory next Monday night. That
i establishment is to be run day and night
hereafter.
The Chamber of Commerce of Char-
I lotte, N. 0., will invite 2,000 merchants
i on the lines of the various railroads
, leading into the city to spend several
days in examining the inducements the
trade of the city offers. Railroad
tickets will be enclosed with the in
vitations.
The United States Government holds
$580,000 Virginia bonds as Indian trust
funds, which will have to be redeemed
out of any money that maybe coming
to Virginia in payment of the advances
she made the Government during the
war of 1812.— Richmond Commonwealth.
An Italian woman in New Orleans,
becoming tired of her husband and
child, stole $2 800 of her husband’s
money and eloped with a mulatto.
They were found living together in
style in another part of the city, and
have been arrested on the charge of rob
bery.
The Legislature of Louisiana is con
sidering the question of rebuilding the
old Capitol structure at Baton Rouge, to
be used for State purposes. A joint
committee appointed to report on this
subject is of the opinion that it will re
quire §137,000 to place the building in
a proper condition to be again used as a
capitol.
The Auditor of Public Accounts of
Virginia, in response to a resolution of
the House of Delegates, has submitted a
report to that body giving the standing
and the condition of the accounts of
County and City Treasurers of the State.
The report shows the delinquency dur
ing the prfst. eight years to be over
$331,000.
Col. Octavius H. Gadsden died of
pneumonia at his residence in Jefferson
County, Fla., on the 13th inst., in the
seventy-first year of his age. He was
the youngest and last of the eight sons
ot Gen. Christopher Gadsden of Revolu
tionary fame, all of whom held high
and honorable positions in life.— Charice
ton (A. C.) News.
Near Columbus, Ga., is the home of
a rnan named Walker, now ninety-five
years of age, who has not been known to
wear a pair of boots or shoes for nearly
foty years. One day last week he was
thought dead, and was dressed and laid
in the coffin, when he revived and
demanded an explanation of this strange
treatment.
Montgomery (Ala.) Arlverticer- it
has been discovered that the climate of
California, Northern Georgia and Ala
bama is just suited to the cultivation of
the Cinchona tree, from which quinine
is made, and it is proposed to introduce
the cultivation of these trees in this
country, so as to save the expense in
curred in sending to South America for
Peruvian bark.
A company has been formed for the
manufacture of salt in Sumner County,
from a well on the Scottsville Turnpike,
northeast of Gallatin, which, it is
laid will yield from twenty-five to forty
harreisevery twenty-tour hours. Uther
wells are to be sunk, and the necessary
furnace erected.— Nashville American.
The Clarksville Tobacco Leaf says that
a representative of one of the largest
lumber firms in the United States, lo
located at Chicago, is looking fora loca
j Lion in the South suitable for saw-mills,
i In company with Col. Killebrew, State
Commissioner of Agriculture and Min a s,
be has spent considerable time in pros*
pec'inginthe vicinity of Danville and
Nashville, Tenn.
There is an iron boom in Southwest
Virginia. The Brown Hill Furnace, of
Wythe Count), will go into blast in a
few days under the lease of the Messrs.
Hendricks Bros., of New York. They
have also bought the zinc property in
that county, and contemplate ereciing
works in the spring. The IzibdeJ
Car Wheel Company are preparing to
put the Walton and Paine furnaces in
blast at once. Messrs. Graham, Robin
son and McGavock will have their three
furnaces in blast in March. A party
of capitalists from the North are pros
pecting for the location of two ten-ton
charcoal furnaces. The owners of the
Kadiord Works, I’ulaski, some of whom
are Pennsylvanians, are having their
furnace put in order, and will have it
in blast as soon as practicable.
The Amphioxns, a fish-shaped ani
mal of a vary low grade of development,
which affords Haeckel one of the firm
est stepping stones in the lively work on
evolution, has been the subject of very
interesting observations on the part of
Henry J. Rice, at Fort Wool, on the
Chesapeake. He had the good fortune
to find two malts, a ripe female, and
twenty young. The animal stands on
debatable greund between the verte
brates and invertebrates, and received
its name from its shape. Amphiorus is
the Greek of Mr. Yarrel, for “ sharp at
both ends.” Descriptions of the habits,
1 structure, and development of this
I curious primitive animal are being is
sued in the American Naturalist by Mr.
i Rice.
Where there’s a will there’s away:
1 and where there’s a won’t there's a
I voman behind it.
Nofth iarj,
Published Every Thursday at
BELIjTON, GEORGIA'
RATES Ot' SUBSCRIPT [ON.
Oaeyear(s2
(28 numbers)- 50 cents : three months (33
numbers) 25 cents.
Office in the Smith build-ng, ea t of the
depot.
NO. 12.
PASSING SMILES.
“ Before the war ” —courting.
Down in the mouth—back teeth.
A misfitting coat is a lie out of the
whole cloth.
“ I think I’ll take something,” as the
thief said when he mixed in.the crowd.
Ihe best place to have a boil—in the
tea kettle. It is easily drawn.
A Miss-understanding when a
young lady comprehends, of course.
“ I tumble to the wreck it,” as the
high wind said to the prairie hut.
Brevity is the soul of wit, but it has
to be stretched out a good deal some
times to get enough for the uppers.
An infamous old bachelor being asked
if he ever witnessed a public execution'
replied, “ No, but I once saw a mar
iage.’
“Tennyson spends hours on a single
line.” And so. by the way, does the
washerwoman. And the line of the lat
ter is the longest.
If a big head denotes ability, it is an
interesting sight to observe what a show
ing of ability this town puts forth every
Monday morning.
A witness in court was asked if a
party to the suit was a truthful
man. “NO;” he answered, “he’d rather
lie at sixtv days than tell the truth for
cash.”
The plethoric paste pot of an editor
who clips more than he writes, is like his
paper—seldom filled with live mat
ter.—Hackensack Republican. Experience
teacheth.
Great men do hot consider them
selves above everybody else; ’tis those
ignorant little runts who wear standup
collars and sport canes, and who refuse
to pay their washing bills, that think
everyone beneath them.
No other incident can call to a man’s
face such an idiotic expression of as
sumed unconsciousness as the accidental
fall of a bottle of whiskey from his
pocket to the sidewalk on a Sunday as
tornoon.
Who wouldn't be a sailor? All you
have to do is yell "aye, aye, sir,” at the
top of your voice about once in teu min
utes. The rest of the time you can look
over the ship’s stern and watch the
sharks.
He saw a carpet liangiue'vui
Upon the clothes-line in the rear
(if that fine mansion, and he thought
The folks are out, the coast ia clear,
I’ll bag that BniraeK Isl can.”
He did. and making no delay,
Adown the Miley, in the dusk,
The carpet-bagger tramped away.
Leap-year.—She—“Are you engaged
for the next German?” He(with eager
ness) —“No, I’m not.” Shfe (with pity)—
“Oh, that’s too bad! Good evening. See
you later.” . j<> •
Man wants but little ear, below, nor
wants that little long. Mad wants but
little ear bologna, wants that little long.
Man wants but little leer; wants but
litter here below; wants but little Leah
below; wants but Little here below;
wants but little ear b’low, etc.
“John, what odor is that? ” “Cloves'
love.” “ But that other? ” ‘‘Allspice,
my beloved.” “But isn’t there another?”
“Yes, apples, belovedest.” “Just one
more?” “Raisins, my most belovedest.”
“Well, John, if you’d only drink just a
little brandy, now, I think you would
make a good mince pie.”
This being leap-year, a boarder at an
up-town amateur hotel thought it fine
fun to put a bent pin on each vacant
chair, until one agile feeder leaped up
four feet into the air and camo down
with his great unwashed hand in the
only bowl of bash in the bouse. There
was a famine until supper time.
Tub duli-cyed 4<>nkey droops bis bead.
Wrapped in himself,
With patent perspicuity,
- And meekly follows where he’s Jed
The cun Ding elf:
But, when his heels begin to shed,
His latent assiduity
Asserts itself,
—Hackensack Republican.
“Is there any mail' for me?” she said
to a handsome Ike.
“ Certainly,” said he.
“ Where?” said she.
“ Here.” said he, with open arms. .
“That’s my funeral,” sang the maid.
Friends are invited to attend without
further notice. So much for what the
maid made by getting the male mail.
Once in a while we glance from our
office window and catcli sight of a girl
of the period sailing along the streets,
with her hands in the pockets of one of
those jatin»y little coats which are now
so fashionable, and yet the sight never
presents itself that we are not reminded
of a two-handled cream pitcher in action.
Waterloo Observer.
The better a man becomes, the
stronger docs the hope of “ the glory of
going on ” take nold of his nature. The
instinctive expectation of life' beyond
the grave strengthens with the increase
of virtue in the soul. The man who
lives best most keenly feels that life is
worth living, most resolutely turns
away from the thought of its extinc
tion. ____________
A Whole Menagerie in Herself.
A correspondent atStrikerville, N. Y.,
writes as follows to the Cincinnati Times:
I am acquainted with a lady Sixty years
old, hale and hearty, who was never
forty miles from home. The stage goes
by her door every day, and she was
never in the stage. She never saw a
train of cars and never was in a city or
town in her life. If any one knows a
person of her age who can say the same
let us hear from him.
Think nothing profitable which who
ever force thee to break thy word, ta
lose thy self-respect, ta hate, suspect,
curse or deceive any one, or to desire
anything that be covered with walls
or veils.