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PUBLISHED EVERY THURSDAY
In i Imp --*••> . ■ • , «
*
BY JOHN BL ATS.
Terms— sl.o • per anrUth ;50 cehU for six
month-; 25cents forth ee months.
1 arttes >iK»y from itellton are requested
to send their na ais, with such amounts ot
money as taty eta spare, Irom 200. to sl.
the English langvage.
A pretty dear is dear to iuo,
A hare with dnwjiy’hair,
I lore a hart with all my heart,
But barely bare a bear.
’Ti> plain that no one takes a plane
To hare a pair of pears,
A rake, though; often takes a rake
To tear away the tares.
All rays raise th vine, time raises all;
And through the whole, hole wears,
a writ in writing “right,” may write
It “wright” and still be wrong.
For “wright” and “rite” are neither “right,”
And don’t to wright belong.
B. r often brings a bier to man,
Coughing a coffin brings.
And too much ale will make us ail
As well as other things.
The person lies who says he lies
When he is but reclining.
And when consmntive folks decline,
They ail decline declining,
A uuail don’t quail liefore a storm ;
A bough will bow before it;
We cannot rein the rain at all;
No earthly powers nigh o’er it.
The dyer dies awhile, th»n dies;
To dye he’s always trying
Until upon his dying b»sl,
He thinks .no more of dyeing.
A son <»f Mars mars many a sun;
AU deys must have their days,
And evi ry knight should pray each night
To him who weighs his ways.
’Tis meet that man sltmul mete out meat
To feed mi-fortuue’s son;
The fairshould fare on love alone,
Else one cannot Ih? wn.
A bro, alas' is sometimes false;
Os faults,# maid is made;
Her waist is hut a barren waste—
, Though >taye t she i > Dot staid.
The springs -pnng forth in spring, and shoots
S!i<«ot forward one and all;
Though summer kills the flowers, it loaves
Thu h aves to fail in fall.
I would a fetor v here commence,
But you might find it stale;
So let’s suppose that we have reached
The tail end of our tale.
—Chicago Inlcr-Octan.
A MEMBER OF CONGRESS.
BY MRS. C. W. FLAKDERS.
There was a little fellow among the
New England hill--, y< agb, as there
ere many now, whose parents Were poor,
lie could not remember the time when
he wore shoes and stockings in the sum
mer. Sometimes in the winter, when he
was obliged to walk three miles to
school, and wade through snow drifts
that did not melt until the last of May,
he did wear such as his father had re
jected, and a pair of shoes that slipped
. up and down every step he took. Never
theless, they were shoes and stockings;
and he was infinitely prouder of them
than any king living is of his crown.
One day, as Tom was plodding along
with his slip shod shoes, puffing from
exertion and blowing his blue fingers to
keep them wsnn, there came dashing
down the hill a sleigh such as the
youngster had never seen; no, indeed,
nor ever dreamed of. And a horse!
Tom stopped blowing, so intense was
his admiration of the elegant creature
that came foaming and tossing its
daintily arched neck right and left.
Tom sprang aside al the very last mo
ment, and as he sank up to his chin in
the light snow, tore ell his cloth cap
from his head, and bobbed up and
down as if he wereiu the presence of the
President.
“Jump on behind, my lad,” shouted
tie rider; ‘‘jump on behind.” And
Tom did jump on, at the peril of his
life, and away they went tearing along
with great speed until over went riders
an I buffaloes and things generally.
Tom sprang to the horse’s head, and
cVnging to the bit, the tips of his great
cowhide shoes touching the snow, asked
if the gentlemen was hurt.
“Not a bit of it my lad,” said he,
shaking himself free of the snow,
“only wanned up a little. What’g the
damage ?" .
“Nothing, sir, that I see,” returned
Tom, his handsome face glowing with
good humor, as he yielded the horse
to its owner.
k ' Well, then, my lad, get in and we’ll
try again. You are going to school, I
see,” added the stranger, as he gathered
up the reins.
“ Yes, sir.”
“ Howfar?”
‘Guess it’s about two miles from
here.”
The gentleman turned and looked
into his face, and then glanced all over
Tom’s figure, even to his feet.
“ He sees my shoes,” thought Tom,
proudly, to himself", giving his feet a
shove forward to make certain that they
should be seen.
The gentleman did see them, and
envied in spite of himself as he glanced
back to Tom’s face.
He then kindly pulled the warm fur
around the boy, and pulling his cap
over his eyes, shouted, “Go along,
Nell!" and the chestnut mare, now
thoroughly sobered, meekly commenced
the ascent of what was known as the
img hill. She was evidently accus
tomed to having her own way, for she
availed herself of every hollow to rest,
and did not aliow herself to be pressed
forward until the whip was applied.
Tom wondered what had possessed the
creature a few minutes before. He
scratched his head on the right side and
then on the left, and, finally, his Yankee
curiosity getting the better of his diffi
dence, lie ventured to ak:
“ If you please, sir, what was it that
made the mare run?”
“A stump,” returned the gentleman
with a smile. “ Nell is a little aristo
cratic, and shies at uph plebian things.
She does not know that a stump was the
making of her master.”
Tern scratched his head again, and
r wiggled all over. Then out came the
question:
“ How could a stump be the making
of a man?”
•My lad,” answered the stranger,
marking the white surface of the snow
gently with his whiplash, “ I was a poor
boy, and my father could not afford to
tend me to school. We worked very
bard, but I u-ed to study evenings by
the light of the fire, and learned the
The North Georgian.
VOL. 111.
whole of the Latin grammar, by the
light of one pitch knot.
For a moment Tom sat perfectly still.
Then he asked, as if ashamed of his ig
norance :
“ Please, sir, what’s a Latin gram
mar?”
This last question aroused the gentle
man, and becoming sensible that the
little fellow at his side was thirsting for
knowledge, he very kindly went over
such parts of his history as he thought
would he of interest to him, and ended
by saying that he was a member of
Congress.
This last announcement almost took
tbe lad’s breath away. He had heard
of members of Congress, but he had an
idea they were myths, whom nobody
ever saw. Perhaps the awe with which
Tom regarded him as he glanced up
sideways into his face, flattered the gen
tleman, for he said, smiling:
“ You axe just as likely to be a mem
ber of Congress as I! You know, in
America, success isto be determined and
braved. If you study, as 1 did, you
may possibly rise as high—yes—perhaps
higher I"
• “ But I haven t any Latin grammar,
sir,” said Tom.
“ No? Well, would you like one?”
“ Yes, sir,” cried Tom, with flashing
eyes.
“ Well, my lad, I shall come this way
again, and 1 will leave oue at the school
house for you.”
• “ But I have no money.”
“ Never mind, you can pay me when
you get to Congress.”
“Thank you,” said Tom, “I won’t
forget it, sir.”
The gentleman looked down at him
with a quizzical smile, and the two rode
on in silence, until they reached the
schoolhouse.
“Please don’t forget the grammar,”
suggested Tom, as he lifted the old cap
again.
“ Not I,” returned the gentleman.
“A man who cannot keep a promise
should not make one—hey, my lad?”
Nell tossed her head, and the boy soon
lost sight of the rider. Then he looked
down at his shoes, at his coat, and his
old cap as he hung it on the peg in the
entry, and silently contrasted them all
with the fur-trimmed overcoat and out
fit of the stranger.
“ Never mind,” said Tom to himself,
“ I will have them all, too, when I am
a member of Congress."
At the end of two weeks a bundle of
books was left at the school-house.
There was not only it Latin grammar,
hut a well-worn copy of Virgil, zEsop
Fables and sundry other volumes such
as Tom had never seen.
Pine knots were plentiful where Tom
lived, and he sat up until midnight all
the rest of the winter pondering over
the mysteries of those books.
Asgcod luck would haveit, the school
master, who boarded around with his
pupils, band not eaten the rations due
him at Torn’s father’s. When he ar
rived he entered warmly into tbe lad’s
ambitious projects, and as he had a
smattering of Latin himself, was quali
fied to aid his pupil.
Although the schoolmaster was al
lowed the use of a tallow candle, he
vastly preferred the more brilliant light
of Tom’s pitch knot; so that, as often as
the long winter evening set in, the
master and the pupil might be seen
(and were seen) sitting before the large
fire-place with their heads buried in the
pages of the books, along which they
plodded slowly, but to such purpose
that at the end of the winter Toni could
read his fable and solve his problem in
a manner very creditable to himself and
master.
It was up-hill work with poor Tom,
but he never lost what little he gained, i
and managed to make what little he ac- i
complished to tell on the future.
One day his father brought home a
stranger, and told Tom that he was ap
prenticed, during his minority, to this
man, who would make him a black
smith.
“ But I am not going to be a black- I
smith,” cried Torn, in a passion; “I’m i
going to Congress!’’
'■ The more need that you should :
learn to shoe the horse that carries I
you there,” replied his father, with a
shrug.
Torn packed up his worldly goods, not
forgetting his books, and trudged away
to a distant village, where he pared
horses’ hoofs by day, and studied and
read at night by stealth, for he was al
lowed neither knot nor candle.
Six months the poor fellow tried to be
faithful to his duty, but one night when
the master had thrown his grammar
into the fire, and lathed him for his dis
obedience, Tom took leave of the work
shop.
He made his way, barefooted as he
was, over bogs and briars, until be ven
tured into the main road, and by dint
of begging a ride now and then, reached
the city, where, as Ben Franklin had
done before him, with his roll under
his arm—he sought and obtained em
ployment.
Perhaps the happiest day of Tom’s
life was when he found himself in the
antiquarian book store with plenty of
leisure, plenty of books, and nothing to
fear from friend or foe.
It is wonderful how he read—and
read —and read. The parched earth
does not more greedily take in the sum
* mer rain.
When his intellectual thirst was par
; tially satisfied he began to work. He
saw the ladder un which he must climb,
, and seizing the lowest round, he made
’ his way steadily upward.
r We all know by what steps an am
> bitious man makes progress—by patient
r toil —by sell-denial —by courteous de
r portment —by the constant acquisition
? of knowledge.
BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY. GA.. MARCH 18, 1880.
, Years passed by, during all of which
Tom had looked in vain for his early
; friend, the stranger. In his timid awk
j wardness, he had not thought to ask the
name of his benefactor, and the only
I opportunity to do So had been lost.
Well, years slid away, and Tom was
j elected member of Congress from the
very county whefe he spent his strug
! gling boyhood.
He went to Washington, not in cow
hide shoes and butternut colored home
spun, but dressed something as imag
ination had pictured, as he looked
after his benefactor, on the eventful
day of the sleighride.
A nobler looking man, the ladies in
the galleries said, never had appeared
upon the floor, than this Yankee mem
ber, who, if he spoke through his nose,
always drove his arrows home to the
mark.
One day there appeared in the House
the venerable form of an ex-member,
whom al l present delighthed to honor.
It needed but one glance at tile genial
face for Tom to recognize in him the
giver of the Latin grammar.
“ He had come,” he said, “ to listen
to the gentleman who had so manfully
defended the. right, and to wish him
God speed I”
“If,” said Tom, with his old modesty,
“ it has been my good fortune to do any
thing for our country in the hour of
her peril, I owe my ability to do so, in
a great measure, to yourself."
“To me!” echoed the astonished gen
tleman: “to me! I do not recollect
ever having had the pleasure of meeting
you before in my life.”
“ Ah. sir, have you forgotten, then,
the little school-boy among the hills of
New Hampshire, to whom you so kindly
sold a Latin grammar?”
The gentleman inused.
“8o!d—sold a Latin grammar! Now
that you recall the incident, I do recol
lect a little fellow who interested me,
and io whom I gave some school books ”
“ Well, sir, lam that boy. You told
me that I might pay for them when I
got to Congress. If you will honor me
by meeting a few friends at dinner, I
will settle the bill."
Perpetual Motion.
Albert Pietrowski, a Pole, living in
New York, has a motor which lie de
ciares when once started will run till it
wear out.
The model that he exhibits consists of
a pair of hollow metal wheels, four feet
in diameter, which revolve on the same
axis, but in opposite directions. The
moving power is nine metal balls placed
within the wheels so as to bear the rim
down at first, and then gravitate toward
the axis, where a side groove runs the
balls off to a grooved radius of the wheel
revolving in the opposite direction.
Four balls were placed in the grooved
radii of the first wheel and four in the
radii of the second, and when the mo
mentum had been gained, the ninth
ball was added, to give additional power.
To the axles of the wheels, which is also
the axle of smaller grooved wheels that
regulate the speed of the machinery,
the shafting is applied.
“ Give me a cast iron wheel sixty feet
in diameter,” said Mr. Pietrowski, “and
I w.iil show you a motor of 300 horse
power, that requires nothing to keep it
in operation. It will continue to run
until the material is.worn out.”
Several of the engineers who witnessed
the working of the Pietrowski machine
yesterday, were sanguine in the opinion
that lor all practical purposes, leaving
out the engine of the locomotive and
steamboat, it will be found of great
value.
The Labor of an Editor*
The London Times, speaking of the
work of an editor, says it can only be
appreciated by those who have had some
experience in it. The meerest slip of
the pen, an epithet too much, a wrong
date, a name misspelt, or with a wrong
initial before it, the misinterpretation
of some passage, perhaps incapable of
I interpretation, the most trifling offense
I to the personal or national susceptibility
i of those who do not even profess to care
! Ipr the feelings of others, may prove
. not only disagreeable, but even costly
mistakes; but they are about the least
of the mistakes to which an editor is
liable. The editor must be on the spot
till the paper is sent to the press, and
I make decisions on which not only the
approval of the public, but even great
I causes, may hang. He can not husband
; his strength with comparative repose
I in the solitude of a study, or the fresh
| uesH of green fields. He must see the
i world, converse with its foremost or
j busiest actors, be open to information
and on guard against erior. All this
should be borne in the mind by those
who complain that journalism is not in
fallibly accurate, just and agreeable.
What Dickens Said to the Boy.
When Charles Dickens visited Amer
ica for the first time he stayed a few
days —says an old writer in the Repub
lican, of Springfield—at the old City
Hotel in Hartford, occupying rooms on
the first floor, which had windows reach
ing nearly to the street level. A Hartford
lad, who has since become adistinguished
citizen, appeared at school one morn
ing and loudly proclaimed that he had
not only seen Mr, Dickens at the hotel,
but that the great novelist had spoken
to him. Deeply did his mates envy the
youth, but his noble spirit was shortly
tamed when it was finally ascertained
j that he had climbed up on the window
' sill of a room where Mr. Dickens was
shaving, and that the latter had turmed
i at the noise, and razor in hand, waived
him away with a stern “Go away,
| boy.”
To make a suberb soup use the proper
I soup herbs.
SOUTHERN NEWS.
Memphis has -159 untenauted houses.
The Middle Georgia Military and
Agricultural College has 300 students.
The military fever is raging in most
of the counties of Southern Georgia.
Goat-skins worth $25,000 were
shipped from Corpus Christi, Texas,
li.st week.
The exports of hides from Texas in
a single year amounted to nearly $3,-
000,000.
A number of farmers are successfully
cultivating upland rice in Monroe
County, Ga.
The amount of lumber exported from
Pensacola, Fla., during January was
24,580. ODO feet.
Fifteen Tennessee stables are to be
represented at the spring meeting of
the Chicago Jockey Club.
Charleston people complain of the
lack of facilities for daily and weekly
recreation, and want a public garden.
Tampa, Fla., boasts that murder has
not been committed in that place for the
past six years. .. .
An appropriation of SBOO has been
made for an educational exhibit at the
appaoaching centennial at Nashville.
One thousand men and 250 teams are
making things lively on the line of the
Texas Pacific Railroad.
The ground in certain localities in
Nash County, N. C., has sunk several
inches, and an earthquake is feared.
There will be no nominations for
county officers in Franklin County, Ala.,
this year. The field is open to all aspi
rants to office.
The average expense per mile for
keeping up the county fence between
Abbeville and Edgefield Counties, S. C.,
is $27 per annum.
TWENTY-ETVEdifferent brands of com
mercial fertiliz.ers are on sale in York
ville, 8. C. The demand for them now
is greater than for any year in the past.
The wool-growers of Atascosa County,
Texas, have organized for the purpose
of eradicating the disease known as the
scab from the sheep of that county.
JNEak Valdosta, Ga., J. C. Jones killed
five wild turkey gobblers at oue shot.
Their aggregate weight was ninety-five
pounds.
Sixty-Seven per cent, of the deaths
at Memphis are from more or less pre
ventable diseases, such as consumption,
malarial and typhoid fevers, scarlel
fever and diarrheal diseases.
Early amber sugar-cane will be
largely planted in Fayette County,
Texas, this year. A sugar factory is
being established at Lagrange, with a
capacity of sixty tons of cane per day.
The Missouri, Kansas and Pacific
Railroad, Texas Pacific Railroad and
Dallasand Wichita Railroad haveagreed
to build a large union depot at Dallas,
Texas.
The: wife of United States Senator
Wilkinson Call, of Florida, is the young
est of ali the Senators’ wives, and is said
to be the most beautiful. She was a
Miss Sirnking, of South Carolina.
During the tornado |at Nashville on
Thursday the wind reached a velocity
of forty miles per hour. It blew steadily
from twenty to thirty miles an hour for
two hours and a half.
A recent ordinance of the city of
Charlotte, N. C., prohibits all work on
Sunday about freight offices, the shift
ing of freight trains and all other duties
of railroad employes except what are
connected with the regular passenger
trains.
Since Nashville and Edgefield have
been annexed the next thing will be a
bridge for free travel between the two
places. The present suspension bridge
can probably be purchased, but it has
been suggested that a new stone-arch
bridge be
Near Charlotte, N. C., a ’negro girl
twelve years old fell down a mine forty
!eet deep, where she remained nine
lours without being discovered. She
was drawn up smiling, and has suffered
ao ill effects from the fall.
Nathan Cook, of Terrell County,
Ga., is 102 years old, and still earns his
daily bread. He has ten children, the
youngest of whom is forty years old.
He has lived in the same yard that now
incloses his home ever since the Indian
war.
The Georgia Historical Society, with
its headduarters at Savanah, has nearly
12,000 volumes in its library. During
the year 932 volume? and 228 pamphlets
have been added. The income of the
society last year/was $3,133.71, which
was sufficient to defray all expenses.
Macon, Ga., is infested with a swarm
of tramps who seem to be a regularly
organized band. They have attempted
to enter several houses by force, and on
Friday a lady was knocked down in her
own house while trying to prevent
NO. 11.
the entrance of some of these vaga
bonds.
The various manufacturing estab
lishments in Columbus, Ga., give em
ployment to 1,201 adult males, 1,100 fe
males and 280 children—a total of
2,641 persons. This is the number
steadily employed. In times of unusual
activity it is frequently doubled. The
population of Columbus is about 15,000.
At the State Agricultural Convention
at Cuthbert, Ga., Prof. Wm. M Browne
reported experiments on corn and cot
ton conducted the past year at the ex
perimental farm in Athens, showing that
cotton seed or stable manure will furnish
all the ammonia needed in making com
posts on the farm.
The heavy rains among the monntains
of Tennessee did considerable damage to
the Cincinnati Southern Railroad by
causing landslides. Hundreds of thou
sands of dollars will be required after
■this road is turned over to the carrier
company for completion and mainten
ance, to put it in comp’ete and perma
nent running condition.
The Lynchburg (Va.) News learns
from a reliable gentleman who has just
passed over the Huntington route from
St. Louis, that large numbers of negroes
are actually returning on foot, and that
the Chesapeake and Ohio road is lined
with them, making their way back to
North Carolina. He remarked that they
were not bringing any of tbe fine farms
with them, nor half of the good clothes
they wore away.
Ten years ago a large colony of Get
mans from Cincinnati, none of whom
could speak English, purchased a tract
of land in Lawrence County, Tenn.,
said to contain 4,100 acres. It has since
been discovered that it contained only
2,057 acres, and they were defrauded cut
of $3,500, besides the interest on this
amount for ten years. The- colony
has brought suit in the Supreme Court
at Nashville lor the recovery of thia
sum.
The Commissioner of Agriculture has
received reports infortningjiim of the
existence of asbestos in several localities
of the State, and some specimens have
been sent to him. He tested them in
the fire and found that the fibres, even
when separated from each other, would
stand a white heat. He intends, as soon
is possible, to send out an agent ana
have the deposits inspected with a view
of ascertaining their exact quality and
their probable extent and value.—Col
umbia (& C.) Register.
Matt. Woodlejf, the Texas des
perado, gambler and murderer, the
iread of Houston and South Texas, was
killed at Lake Charles, La., on Monday.
Many years ago Woodlief shot and
killed a man in Columbus, Texas, and
ifterwaid became a desperate character.
In 1878 ho attacked and fought a street
Juel with Alexander Erickson, Chief of
Police at Houston, Texas. About ten
shots in all were fired with revolvers.
Both men were shot down on Main
street, and lay within a few yards of
each other. Woodlief was shot in the
hip and his hip-bone was broken by a
ball, and Erickson was shot through the
thigh and the bone broken. Both re
covered, but were cripples. But few
regret Woodlief’s taking off, as he was
a terror in Texas, and, in fact, there is
rejoicing that he was killed.
Leap-Year Difficulties.
He was a nice young man,-with cane,
high tiat and patent leather boots. He
strolled leisurely down Fourth avenue,
puffing daintily upon a cigarette, and oc
casionally twirling the waxed ends of
his mustache. He was accosted by'a
stout woman with a florid complexion.
“ Top of the mornin’ to ye, Mister
Charley," said she.
“Good morning, Mrs. McGuinness,”
said the nice young man.
“ Me darlint boy, would ye —” and
she bestowed a bewitching smile upon
him. He dodged out of her reach. The
recollection that it was leap-year rushed
upon him. He answered:
“Madame—really—l can’t—l am very
sorry if 1 cause you pain—but my af
fections have already been bestowed
upon another—and, madame—l can’t—
I can’t marry you. ’’
She gazed at him in astonishment,
and then'said, indignantly: “Who
axed ye to marry me! The idea of the
loikes of me, a poor lone widdy, wid four
children to support by washin’, axin’ ye
to marry me. I was only goin’ to ax ye
for that dollar for washin’.”
He sighed and gave her a dollar, and
walked sadly away.
A Curiosity.
• For some years the following sentence
has stood as the shortest into which all
the letters of the alphabet could be com
pressed :
“J. Gray: Pack with my box five
dozen quails.”
The above sentence contains thirty
three letters. A Utica gentleman re
cently improved on it as follows, using
only thirty-two letters:
“Quick, glad zephyre, waft my javelin
box."
George W. Pierce, a Boston lawyer,
has now forced the twenty-six letters of
the alphabet into a sentence of only
thirty-one letters, as below:
“Z" Badger: Thy vixen jumps quick
at fowl.”
Georgian,
Published Every Thursday at
BELLTON, GEORGIA
RATES OF SUBSCRIPTION.
Oae year (52 numbers), $1 00; six months
(26 numbers) 50 cents; three months (23
numbers) 25 cents.
Olfice in the Smith building, ca.t of the
depot.
PASSING SMILES.
A STUCK-UP thing—a show-bill.
Spring-halt—May 31—midnight.
Spare-ribs—the scaled wives of
Utah.
OLd ocean indulges in storms merely
for wreck-creation.
Let's see; it isn’t quite time for the
first divorce in the Oneida Community.
Four thousand bills arc pendirtg in
Congress.
Children and brass bands, in their
extreme.youth, don’t amount to much
without a tutor.
“ Now 1 lame me,” as the pedestrian
remarked when he stumbled on a bit of
ice.
In diamonds, solitaires are fashion
able, but when it comes to buckwheat
cakes let us have clusters
By all means Jet us have free salt.
Some lazy people might “earn their
salt” if it was a little cheaper.
The toe of an enemy’s boot will often
do more to raise a man into prominence
than the hands of a dozen good friends.
“ The men of to-day are . too high
strung," says a Chicago paper. Some of
them are not strung high enough.
The brook, you know, flows on for
ever. Sometimes it seeins as if a law
suit was trying to see the brook and go
it one better.
The lisping Christian thus defended
her pronunciation: “Dothn’t our
minither direct our thepth in the nar
row path? Ithn’t he, then, ourpather?”
No matter how finely a .dentist’s par
lor is furnished, no one cares to take a
seat in his drawing-room. This is a good
joke, but it is tooth in to draw.
We have had one osier, but the lady
couldn’t promise to support us in the
luxury to which we have been accus
tomed.—Boston Post.
A commercial report says: “The
fall of leather causes an uneasy feeling
in hides.” We have often remarked
this in youth while laying across the
maternal knee.
A minister who regards kissing as
unessential part of saving grace, should
kiss his lawfully appointed wife, and
tell her to pass it arour.d among the
congregation.
When a man becomes the father of a
sixteen year old daughter, he 'commences
he period of his life when the toes of his
boots wear out before the heels become
italicized.
The beauty of Sunday collections on
the envelope plan is that you chn knock
the plate out of the collectors hand as
easy with a copper cent as you can with
a silver half dollar.
“ Did you ever know such a me
chanical genius as my son ? ” asked an
old lady. “He has made a fiddle out of
his own head, and he has wood enough
for another.”
Indignant wife—“ If I had known
you were coming home in this condi
tion, I should have gone home to my
father’s.” Inebriated husband—“ Hie—
would you? I’m awf sorry didn’t shend
you word—hie.”
“ Dear Louise, don’t let the men
come too near you, when courting.”
“ Oh, no, dear ma. When Charles is
here we always have one chair between
us.” Mother thinks the answer is
rather' ambiguous.
1N the midst of life some men do all
the evil they can, and when they die the
papers tell lies about them at the rate
of fifty cents per line.
nr.rOKK.
The cheerful fire brightly burn?,
The gns bill keeps aceruing,
'l'he maiden fair new lessons learn,
The ardent youth ne’er homeward turns,
And dnward speeds the wooing.
AFTER.
The flickering lire feebly burns,
Tlie time has parsed fur wooing;
The faded wife new lessons learn,
Thu husband seldom homeward turns,
And onward speeds the ruing.
—UackoiuitK k Jitijublican,
An Albany woman brings suit against
a telephone company for trespass in
putting its wires on the roof of her
building. It isn’t the trespass, however
that troubled her so much as the fact
that there is gossip going on over her
head that she cannot get hold of.
Casts from Living Forms.
1 was taken by a friend, says a Paris
correspondent, to see • the wonderful
plaster casts of living human beings
which are among tbe curiosities of the
Russian department. How the thing
is done it is impossible to imagine, but
there the two statues are, recumbent
female figures, undoubtedly taken from
living women. One lies slightly turned
upon her side, her lips parted in a smile,
as though she was trying to suppress a
laugh. The other, who was much the
finer of the two, lies face downward,
her feet crossed and her head pillowed
on her folded arms as though she had
.thiown herself down to sleep. The
minutest details of the texture of the
skin, nails, etc., are very perfectly re
produced, the “gooseflesh” wherewith
the skin is covered being amusingly
noticeable, and showing that the pre
paration used for these casts, the com
position whereof is a secret, must be
applied cold. Then all the little in
dentations in the soles of the feet and
the palms of the hands, and the curve
of the nails and their rimmings of skin
and flesh are produced with startling
accuracy. The process by which these
figures are produced is still a secret, but
it is certainly a wonderful discovery.
When one of those overcrowded
elevator trains in New York jumps the
track and kills a lot of people, the
manager’s can’t say that that they didn’t
know it was loaded when it went off.