The North Georgian. (Gainesville, Ga.) 1877-18??, December 01, 1881, Image 1

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The North Georgian., December 01, 1881, Image 1

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Newspaper Page TextEVERY THURSDAY -At- BKLLTON, g-a. Bv MYERS 13TT1CE. nR o. M. BREAKER, Editor. Office in fts Sajith building, east of the depot. TEKMS— $1.00 per annum, 60 cents for SUt months, IK advance. After three months, $1.25; after six months, $1.50 per annum. _ m <- Fifty numbers to iVe volume. TOPICS OF THE DAY. France is to resume eating American pork. Goixeait’s trial has been properly termed a '•circus.” K alloc a has tried lecturing in Oregon and made a total failure of it. Thh London brewer, Sir Dudley Coutts Majoribanks, has been created a Lord. “The Lord protects Guitean,” but st£h Guit<jiu feels safer when accom p aied by mounted police. The endowment fund of the Astor Library, given by the members of the Astor family, amounts to $1,125,130. Leadville now has a population of 20,000 people, and last year that district yielded ore to the value of $15,000,000. Howard Carroll, staff correspondent of the New York Tinies, has been named ns the probable Private Secretary of the President. A Missouri doctor has been convicted of vaccinating people with New Or leans molasses. Ho was sweet oa ’em, wasn’t he ? George Law, the millionaire who died in New York a few days ago, was a typical American, having begun life as a hod-carrier. The wife and daughter of Henry A. Smith, one of the princely thieves of the Tweed gang, now keep an apple stand for a living. - All the bullets miss Guiteau, some how or other. Is there not one crack marksman in America, or must we im port the English rille team ? Guiteau expects to draw on the ros trum when his trial is over. He will, particularly if there is a trap door under him and the knot is properly tied. .* The New York Aiderman gets a gal. ary of $2,000 a year, and has a hard time getting along, whereas the Chicago Al derman gets no salary and leads the fash ions. The saddest wails from Ireland are the Nasby’s letters. Nasby’s sympath ies have been deeply stirred since he left the “ X Hoads, wich is in the State uv Kaintuck.” The idea of the National Temperance Society now is to have the United States Constitution so amended as to prohibit the manufacture, importation and sale of alcoholic beverages. The man who steals enough to employ expensive lawyers is a defaulter, but ho whose stealings will not admit of this luxury, is a thief, and a very common one, at that. That’s the difference. Three million dollars is the amount Theodore Hauel, the defaulting tax clerk of Philadelphia, says has been stolen from that city by an organized gang of thieving clerks. Theodore confesses to $50,000 of it. Whatever the merchants of Atlanta have expended in aid of the Inter national Cotton Exposition will be as bread cast upon the waters. It will re turn to them in future with a hundred fold added. Guiteau persistently insists that Arthur owes his present high position to his act, and demands recognition in re turn. “ Only for me,” says Guiteau. boastingly, “Arthur would be apoliti cal cypher.” Hurlbut, Minister to Peru, and Kil patrick, Minister to Chili, are to be re called. It seems they have disgraced themselves somewhat by a personal quarrel respecting the claims of those countries. Guiteau says he never struck any body in his life. ’Twas well. But he should be afforded an opportunity now. How terrible would he feel were he penned up in a ring with a prize fighter. He is an awful coward. A notorious Chicago burglar under arrest says that burglars never receive more than five per cent, of the capital invested and chances taken. Poor fel lows; they have a hard time of it, and are apt to get killed at any moment, too. Pfiilip Getz, of Lancaster, Ohio, who had two bullets shot into his brain by Herman Peter, lived twenty-four hours after the trao-.-dv occurred. Both bul lets entered the brain to some distance and were only an inch apart. “Much laughter,” and “contiuned applause ” are characteristic features of Guiteau’s trial in the Criminal Court at Washington. This sounds very much The North ' Georgian. VOL. IV. as though the bitter feeling toward the assassin was being ameliorated. President Garfield’s memory is to be honored in London by the founding of a Home for Working. Girls, to be called “Garfield’s Home.” A lady hM given $1,250 to a committee for the pur pose. ■ln New York’all first-class butcher shops have branch shops in localities of the poor where meats that cannot be sold to well-to-do families, or that, from,! mg keeping, are not salable, arc sold at an inferior price. Ten years ago the invention of the Keeley motor was heralded over the land as one of the wonders of the age, and it is now one of the wonders of the public why its success is so long materializing. Meantime, Mr. Keeley is as confident as ever. Hessy Helpmann, the Nihilist con spirator in the Czar’s murder, who is in confinement at St. Petersburg, has been delivered of a daughter. Hessy has made a confession implicating sixty-two persons in the murder of the Czar, and will probably receive a free pardon. President Arthur has “ made up his mind” that all offieids now in office shall serve their time unless they fail to perform their duties properly. That is ns kindly a recognition of General Gar field’s administration as any ono could ask. Vbnnoh predicted, long in adv ncc, that the middle of November would be unusually warm and that towards the Inter part of the month there would be a -severe Cold spell. lie guessed pretty well that time, but the worst of us will hit it occasionally. . * The Maine farmer.! have found a rem edy for “ off,” or non-bearing years of apple trees. It’s caterpillars. Sines they devasted the orchards a few years since the trees have borne annually without discrimination. The crop this year is splendid in both quantity and quality. The “Regulators” and “Moderators” of Elliott County, Kentucky, have formed a treaty by which the “ Regu lators” agree to disband their organiza tion. The “Moderators” were headed by the Sheriff of the County. The treaty “fills along-felt want.” The St. Louis Globe-Democrat sug gests that the bank of England furnish the world, with a list of its deposits. Tt claims that many would escape being swindled by the prevalent practice of al leging that large sums are awaiting claimants and obtaining money from them to secure the alleged inheritances. ■ ■■-- —— Delegate Cannon does not hold u certificate of election from the Secretary ;>f the State of Utah. What ho does hold is a certified copy of the election returns. His prospect of representing Utah is growing beautifully less, and the Mormons may just as well commence getting mad now. Emigrant labor is no longer in demand in New York, but emigrants keep com ing just the same. It would be a good idea for the South to put in her best licks to secure this migrating popula tion during the winter month:!. This is the time of year. She can show off her climate to advantage. There seems to ba plenty of testi mony going to show that Guiteau, all his life, has acted the part of a crank, al though be has never been considered lacking in intellect. But if being a erank is to be a murderer, th :u the sooner the crank is turned heaven ward, the better. ————— * The Cincinnati Commercial pointedly remarks: “Guiteau finds self-control impossible in the presence of the jury. But he was the very embodiment of coolness, calculation, and silence when he was carrying around the pistol to kill the President. He even took the deep precaution to wrap the pistol up to pro tect it from the moisture of the body. Few assassins have been sane enough tc keep their powder as dry as that.” A cotemi’obaey says that were we to see the girls of Ashantee we would not blame the King for killing two hundred of them to get their blood to mix mortar with. Thus there seems to boa differ ence of opinion even respecting the justice of murdering young girls. But if we knew where “his shanty” was and a crucifying expedition happened tc be going that way, we should be tempted to join it. Despite the terrible force of the shock of the electric eel—a power equal to fif teen Leyden jars—it is preyed upon by a little parasite fish, some two or three itches in length, which appears utterly oblivious of the shock. Os two women, choose the one that will have you. BELLTON, BANKS COUNTY. GA.. DECEMBER 1. 1881. Lost at sea. W ROSS HARTWICK THOHI’K I stood whore the starlit heavotis Spread a Way over sea and Rlen, Like the hand* of loving angels Reaching down'to the hearts of men. And the sea. with a smile, reflected The infinite lights above; The quh ering, resplendent heaven* All smiling with peaceful love. And the waves o’er the white sand creeping Brought ripples of joyous glee. As the lines of the purple heaven Bent over to kies tho sea. K . “Ob treacherous sea!” I murmured, “ Restore to toy arms, I pray, Thotreueur© I gave to your keeping One golden autumn day.” A ship with its precious burden Sai’ed out from my longing gaze, Away from the peaceful harbor In the bright October haze. And a sweet face, looking backward. With a tear and a smile for mo— The dearest of all my treasures I gave to the treacherous sea. Lake Michigan, darkly hidden In thy bt'crut bosom lies The face that I fondly cherished, The beautiful ’ove-lit eyes. For the ship that left tho harbor In the calm October haze Bore its precious ft eight f-'rever Away from my longing gazo. The Phenheu of Death. It is our purpose to discuss, as briefly as possible, some of the most important aspects of dissolution. Addison said that there was nothing in history morn imposing than, nothing so pleasing and affecting as, the accounts of the behavior of eminent persons in their dying hours; and Montaigne remarks, while speculat ing on death, that, of all the passages in the annals of mankind, those which attracted and delighted him most were the words and gestures of .dying men. “If! were a maker of books,” he con tinues, “I would compile a register with comments of various deaths, for he who should teach men to die would teach them to live.” There are three elements presented in this fear of death: First, the extinction of life’s pleasures, inter ests and hopes, to which the mind looks forward with a degree of apprehension proportionate to the amount of happi ness they are. capable of affording. With the young and vigorous the loss of these animal enjoyments is contemplat ed with extreme misery ; hence the. cus tom among the early Greeks of bearing the lifeless body of youth to the funeral pyro at tho break of morn, “lest the sun should behold so sad a sight as the young dead.” Second, tho dread of the unknown future, also de pending upon the nervous temperament. And lastly comes a tear more powerful than either, which is the drend of pain, inherent in nature. From time imme morial tho actual moment of dissolution has been supposed to be accompanied by a throe of anguish, known as the “death agony.” This is believed to occur at that moment when the spiritual and physical forces that have been so in timately blended for many years are torn asunder—the one to molder and decay, the other to take upon itself that new life beyond the ken of man. This last element properly belongs to the physiologist, and as such we propose to consider it. Sir Francis Bacon, in one of his essays, published for the first time in the year 1577, gave to the world the following profound thought: “It is as natural to die as to be born ; and to the little infant, perhaps, the one is as painful as the other.” In profundity of thought and depth of research Bacon stepped in advance of his contempora ries, and lived in the future. Thus wo find that, contrary to the generally re ceived opinion of even this latter day, nature evidently designed that the end of man should be as painless as his be ginning. AtTiirth the babe undergoes an or deal that, were he conscious, would be more trying than a most painful death. Yet he feels it not. Born in an uncon scious state, the brain incapable of re ceiving conscious impressions, his en trance into this hitherto unknown world is accomplished during a state of ob livion, known as nature’s anaesthesia : PttinJefiH we come, whence we know not— Painless we go, whither wo know not! From the earliest period of human history death has been considered as necessarily accompanied by pain: so general is tins belief that the terms “deathagony,” “ last struggle,” “pangs of death,” etc., have been in almost universal use in every age and under all conditions of society. Nothing could be more erroneous ; the truth is, pain and death seldom go together—we mean the last moments of life. Os course, death may be preceded by weeks and even months of extreme suffering, as occurs during certain in curable diseases. So exaggerated has been this notion that it has been considered an act of humanity to anticipate the “death struggle ” by violence ; for ages it was customary among the lower classes of Europe to hasten death by suddenly jerking the pillow from beneath the head of the dying, thus throwing the head backward, straining the pharyngeal and thoracic muscles, rendering the respira tion, already difficult, shortly impossi ble, A Venetian Ambassador, in the time of Queen Mary, asserted that it was a common custom among the coun try people to smother the dying by means of a pillow placed aver the face, upon which leaned or sat the nearest relative. This was founded upon the pious belief that the short read was the best one. This custom was handed down from generation to generation, parents performing it for their children and vice versa. But perhaps the sad dest privileg- ever allowed the friends of a dying man oecuned 'tHMasionally dur ing the reign of Queen Elizabeth, when through executive clemency—executions by hahging—they were permitted to grasp the feet of the suspended criminal' and, by clenching to the extremities, : .precipitate their additional weight on the body, thereby hastening strangula tion., It is needless to say that these theories are false in- both conception an® pmctice. Death is a physiological process, and, like all other animal func- slmuld be painless. Wheirthe fiat of death went forth, na ture kindly, provided an anmsthetio for the body. As theend of life draws near, V.iCreepiratfon becomes slow and shal low, interrupted now and then by a deep, sighing inspiration, as though tlie Jungs were vainly endeavoring to throw off the palsy slowly creeping over them. As the intervals between the inspira tions grow longer the blood becomes saturated with carbonic-acid gas—tho same which is formed from burning charcoal, whose deadly fumes have so often aided the suicide painlessly to de stroy life. While the power of breathing is grad ually failing, the heart, which is in close sympathy with tho lungs, begins to | contract with less force, propelling the blood only a short distance through its arterial channels, thus causing the ex tremities to grow cold. The blood sent to tho brain is not only diminished in quantity, but it is laden with carbonic-acid gas, which, acting on the nerve centers, produces a gradual benumbing of the cerebral ganglia, thereby destroying both consciousness and sensation. The patient gradually sinks into a deep stupor, the lips become purple, the face cold and livid, cold per spiration (death damp) collects on the forehead, a film creeps over the cornea, and, with or without convulsions, the dying man sinks into his last sleep. As tho power of receivoig conscious impres sions is gone, tho death struggle mnst be automatic. Even in those cases where the senses are retained to the last, the mind is usually calm and collected, I and the body free from pain. “If I had strength to hold a pen, I would write how easy and delightful it is to die 1” were tho last words of the celebrated surgeon, William Hunter; and Louis XIV. is recorded as saying with his last breath : “I. thought dying had 1 icon more difficult. ” That the. painlessness of death is due to some benumbing influence acting on the sensory nerves may be inferred from the fact that untoward external sur roundings rarely trouble the dying. G.i tho day that Lord Collingwood breathed his last tho Mediterranean was tumultuous ; those elements which had been the scene of his past glories rose and fell in swelling undulations, and seemed as if rocking him asleep. Oapt. Thomas ventured to ask if he was dis turbed by tne tossing ot the ship. “Ma, Thomas,” he answered, “ lam in a state that nothing can disturb me more—l am dying; and lam sure it must be con solatory to you and all who love me to see how comfortably I am coming to my end.” In the Quarterly Tlevie.w there is related an instance of a criminal who escaped death from hanging by the I breaking of the rope. Henry IV., of France, sent his physician to examine him, who reported that after a moment’s suffering the man saw an appearance like fire, across which appeared a beau tiful avenue of trees. When a pardon was mentioned the prisoner coolly re plied that it was not worth asking for. Those who have been near death from drowning, and afterward restored to con sciousness, assert that tho dying suffer but little pain. Capt. Marry att states that his sensations at one time, when nearly drowned, were rather pleasant than otherwise. “ The first struggle for life once over, tho water closing around me assumed the appearance of waving green fields. * * * It is not a feeling of pain, but seems like sinking down, overpowered by sleep, in the long, soft grass of the cool meadow.” Now, this is precisely the condition presented in death from disease. In sensibility soon comes on, the mind loses consciousness of external objects, and death rapidly and placidly ensues from asphyxia. In spite of the natural antagonism to death, a moment’s reflection will show that it is as much a physiological pro cess as life; the two terms are correla- I five, the degree of vital activity depend -1 ing on the extent of molecular death oc curring at the same time. Strange as tho paradox may seem, without death we cannot live; every thought emanat ing from the brain, every blow struck by the arm, is accompanied by destruc tion of nervous or muscular tissue. The bioplusmatic or living matter which en ters into the formation of every animal tissue is constantly germinating into cells (the origin of all life), and as con stantly passing into decay, their places being taken by other protoplasts, thus keeping up the “active dance of life.” This disassimilation, or interstitial death, occurs to such an extent that na ture, in her wisdom, has provided excre meutory organs for the purpose of re moving from the system the effete material thus produced. Every living structure, ritor passing through certain stages of development, maturity and, finally, retrogression, must come to an end. This may be but the ephemeral existence of some of the lower forms of fungi which, born in the cool of the morning, die as the sun goes down ; or, like the famous dragon-tree of Teneriffe, may outlast the pyramids that keep watch by the Nile. The last topic for consideration is the pseudopia of death, or visions of the dying. This subject, coming under the realm of mental science, properly be longs to metaphysics rather than phys iology. Various theories have been advanced to explain these phenomena, but they must remain as hypotheses at best, tor they are not susceptible of demonstration, it is not an uncommon occurrence for tho dying, after living some hours in a semi-conscious condi tion, to start np suddenly, and, with glowing face, point eagerly to some object invisible to the bystanders, and, with animated voice and gesture, state that they behold tliegldries bf heaven or the familiar countenance of some friend long since dead. 'The question naturally’ arises as to whether these conditions are merely the fantasies of a disordered and fast-disor ganizing brain, or are the dying actually permitted a momentary view of those mysteries hitherto unknown. The traditions and superstitions of the past have led to a popular belief in the fatter theory. Shakspearo expressed the sentiment of his day when he placed in the mouth of the dying Queen Kath arine these words: Saw you not even now a blessed troop Invite me to a banquet; those bright faces Cast thousand beams Upon mo like tho sun? Science, with its iconoclastic hand, has swept away these pleasing fancies, and in their places has constructed a fabric founded on analogy. In the an aesthesia induced by chloroform a condi tion is produced closely resembling that immediately preceding death (caused by the carbonic-acid poisoning) in which visions ate constantly presented to the mind, the character of which depends upon the natural temperament of the individual. Thus it often occurs that a patient, when under tho influence of chloroform, has beatific visions similar to those of the dying. It is my fortune to have at present a patient who invariably when under tho influence of chloroform asserts that she sees angels hovering around her bed. The impression is so strong that she becomes much annoyed if the reality of these visions is disputed. The asphyxia produced by burning char coal is ofttimes accompanied; by disturbed fancies similar to those preceiling death. Is Germany an Empire I In the first place, the German term “ Reich ” does not designate an empire as a form of government distinguished from a kingdom, for instance, or a republic. Strictly taken, it moans “realm,” or even “commonwealth,” while tho technical term for empire is “ Kaiserreich.” Thus the Roman Em pire might be called a Reich, as was the old German Empire, because, for one reason, the hereditary principle in both was weak, or did not exist; and in the present confederation, or Reich, the so called Imperial dignity, though heredi tary in the Royal Honso of Prussia, is not hereditary in the House of Hohen zollern as such. If the Hoherzollerns should ever cease to be Kings of Prussia they would cease ipxo/go/o to be Em p< rors of Germany. But tho Napoleonic Empire in France was always called in Gorman the “ Keiserreich,” because the Imperial principle, whatever that may be, was visibly incorporated in the pub lic law of the State. The same obs rva tion held true of the head of the State in Germany. The pre: sand the public in other countries speak of him com monly as tho Emperor of Germany, which is incorrect. There is no such personage. The Federal Constitution simply declares that the Presidency of tlie Confederation is vested in the King of Prussia, who shall bear the title of German Emperor, Our usage of lan guage and our habits of political thought do not, indeed, make any clear differ ence between the title German Emperor and the title Emperor of Germany ; but to Teutonic—-nay, to Continental--dia lecticians the distinction is of vast im portance. The King of Prussia is then merely President of the German realm, and there is nothing Imperial about him except his title. There is no Imperial crown ; no Imperial privy purse ; no Imperial civil list; no Imperial suit-, or court or palace. He is simply the King of Prussia, intrusted with certain exec utive. functions in the German federal system.— Prof. Herbert, in Harper's Mayazine. Japan’s National Flower Tho cherry blossom is the national flower of Japan, as the rose is of England, the lily of France, the thistle of Scotland, and the shamrock of Ire land. On the Mikado’s flags, pages and carriages, and ou the soldiers’ caps and uniforms, yon will see the open chrys anthemum. But the flower of the peo ple and the nation is the flower of the blossoming cherry tree. The Japanese cultivate all over Japan the sakura tree, which is valued only for the beauty of its blossoms. From an entire free you could not get ripe cherries enough to make a pie; but the blossoms are massed together on the boughs like clouds, and the blooms are often as large us a rose. Picnics in Japan are called “going to see the flowers. ” In June millions of people go out to sing and sport and laugh and play under the cherry trees, or to catch “ tiie snow showers that do not fall from the skies.” Some of the people become so enchanted with the lovely blossoms as to even worship tho famous old trees. A miserable shoemaker was brought up before a Western court charged with bigamy. It transpired in the evidence that the knight of the last had married eight wives, all of whom are living. The Judge, who is an esthete, beside sending the man up for trial, comment ed severely upon the case, declaring the conduct of the offender to be “too uttally Utah I”— Nomeruille Journal. When old Mrs. Bunsby had got through reading in the paper an account of the last great fire she raised her spec tacles from her eyes to the top of her head and remarked : “If the fireman Would wear the genuine home knit stockings such us we make and wear in the country, they wouldn’t be a-bustin of their hose at every fire.” oftl] ' RATES ADygRTISING. Si’ACE. I 3na»B smot 1 v’r. o n e~inet>, : * * IM * 7 so sio 6 Ts.isdM.. . 37S 7SO O<M ISO* Three i chen, s 10 00 17 So 20 00 Koo. luelnw, 600 I 2 0o IS lo 26 00 Fourth Uoirimn, 750 15 00 20 00 30 00 Hall cohtmti, • non 20 00 <0 00 60 00 "■< y i-T" 1 ' 3»<o 60 oo lOQOO . ilue atler.fij.si in-ertion. Transient <lverf serpents' (strictly in ad vance) tl periheh far the first insertion; M cents per inch for each additional insertion. Local reading notices 10 cents per Hue. Ann nncenients $5 each. Marriage notices and obituaries exoeodint six lines will be charged for as advortise meuis. ISO. 48. HUMORS OF THE DAY. It is the clean table-cloth that catches the early grease spot A mines,is a lucky man be cause he can always take his pick. Rebecca : Yea, blind men may be per fectly sane, although you do believe in the saying, “ Gut of sight out of mind.” We should think scarf pius would get sea-sick. They are ao often ou the bosoms of such heavy swells.— Cedar lidfMs Stylus: li t riskr. mV tex dis mornin’,” said a colored preacher, “from Oat po’tion ob de Heripture whar do Postel Paul pints his pistol to de Fesious.” “Geokgb,” she said, “hand me the maynoo.” “The which, ma?” “The maynoo, dear.” “The Ahat?” “Oh, von stupid, give mo the bill of faro, and be quiet 1” An exchange states that a clerk in a government office at Washington was injured by an aceidontal discharge of his duties. It will not .occur again.— Peck's Sun. “Now, Sammy, have you read the story of Joseph?” “Oh, yes, uncle.” “Well, then, what wrong did they do when they sold their brother?” “They sold him too cheap.” A short metre wedding.—A young clergyman in lowa recently married a couple ip the following, brief manner: “Do you want ono another?” Both re plied yes. “Well, then, have one an other. ” “ Henry Clay Oleson :” Your poem Ontitk d, “An Odo to a Cucumber,” is accepted. We will worrit in on the pub lic in tho form of newspaper wrappers, or sell it to lay under carpets.— Laramie Hoomcrany. • r An old proverb says : “If you throw a pound of bread to the poor the Lord will throw a pound of -butter into your lap.” This may be true. We shan’t risk trying it, any way. It would be ex tremely disagreeable to have a pound of butter chucked into onr lap.—Roston Post. “I’ll arrest you if you don’t keep quiet,” said a policeman to a Little Rock man. “I’ll bet you SIOO you don’t” The policeman nabbed him and took him to the lockup. “Always the way,” he said, as the policeman locked tho door ; “ never won a bet in my life.” Force of Habit.—“ Why are you ate?” asked an Austin s'hool teacher of a little girl, who hung her head and said : “Wo have a little baby at our house.” “ Don’t let it happen again,” said the teacher, fiercely, and the little girl said she would not, ami took her seat.— Texas Siftings. “ Did you observfi that woman ?” said a gentleman to his companion, as a sharp featured' female swept haughtily by them. The friend nodded to indicate that ho had observed her. “Well, I’m indebted to her for the chief happiness •f my life.” “Indeed; I can imagine the gratitude you must feel toward her.” “ No, you can’t; only her present hus band can do that. Ten years ago I asked her hand in marriage and she refused me.’ ■— Brooklyn Eagle. Uncle Joe’s Reflections.—De stars is jes as bright as day was befo’ de war. Some folks would borrer a dung-hole es dey could. Dar’s some thing dut will do to swop ors in the dark. A smart dorg rudder take de back track ob a grown b’ar. A dorg wid a block on don’t drag on his sitiwation. Olds Satun loads his cannons wid big wafermilions. De debbul ain’t got no pe'rtickler objection to Chrismus. Heap o’ pentenehery hands kin sing hymns firs-rate. You may pray for rain, but you better try de hoe on the crab-grass. A punkin vine ain’t gwino to ax your ’vice ’bout what road it trabble.— New Orleans Times. The Condensed Trowsers. An editor in Chicago had ordered a pair of new trowsers from the tailor. On trying them on they proved to be two or three inches too long. It being late on Saturday night, the tailor’s shop was closed, and the editor took the trowsers to his wife and asked her to cut them off and hem them over. The good lady, whose cucumbers or melons had perhaps disagreed with her, brusquely refused. The same resnit followed an application to his wife’s sister and the eldest daugh ter. But before bedtime the wife relent ing, took tho pants and cutting off six inches from the legs, hemmed them nicely and restored them to the closet. Half an hour later the daughter, taken with compunction for her unfilial con* duct, took the trowsers, and cutting off six inches from the legs, hemmed and replaced them. Finally the sister-in law felt the pangs of conscience, and she, too, performed an additional surgi cal operation on the garment. When the editor appeared at the breakfast, Bunday, the family thought a highland chieftain had arrived, for the trowsers reached only to the middle of his thigh. Humor and Happiness. All pure, sweet laughter is a sign of happiness, and happy people are much more apt to be virtuous than the unhap py. Be good and you will be happy is hardly a more valid saying than be hap py and you will be good. In the matter of thought and -cliaracter, it has many times been observed by the most careful students of the mind that the lack of hu mor involves a very serious intellectual defect, a lack of nice discrimination. The water of the Hudson river at Poughkeepsie has been pronounced un fit for drinking purposes, but the people pay no more attention to this fact than if it was announced that it was unfit fox firewood.