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yoAunfik^
DALLAS, RAfitPlNG COUNT Y, t!A„,THURSDAY, MNUARY 31, 1894/
SUBSCRIPT IOH: $1.50 Per An in
1&7
%■
NUMBER 8.
A PHIL
ra »•%t
Mart ft meeting 1
TbeoFd go rat In t
"■■'Fut poor little girl
Dp ttio etrcet, end down tee street,
And lonrtKtnr (be town
noreryll
t down. ’
Bbnrp enough to cut;
doll with'b
end ghuk
Borne would like it
,V» JNlnUdl*
Homo would pref^eltHle
Foaknuey ratea-dalMli
vtory-1
And eomi for e act of hlool
Rome wouidjjpt wild »iih heppines:
Over e now tool-box. ^
And come would rathe? beve litunabnS
And other tiling* nrauAte wear; J \
For many children xrl voi/ poor^
And the vtiniemhi harttdp bees..
I'd buy soft fUmictadur littlo frocks,
And a thousand etocklpge or to;
And the jollioat tittle coats and oloaks
To keep out the frost and snow.
Td load a wagon with earamols,
And candy of eycry kind;
And buy all Iho almonds and pecan
And talTy that I could And.
And barrels and barrels of oranges
I'd scatter right in the way;
Bo the children would and thorn the vory first
thing
When they woke on Christinas Day.
Mounting
BY .rENN enirffifey.
** Five yellow-haired liftlo Kittredge*
leaned over the door-yard fence, turning
their freckled faoea toward the east like
a row of sunflowers iu the morning,
■‘Stage's a-comin’ I stage’s a-comiu' 1"
they stouted presently, irf o'shrill chorus
that brought father and mother to the
door.
A muddy, splintered, disreputable
looking oonch it was which drew up a
moment later at the gate, its nigh horse
bruised on the right tore-foot, its off
horse lamed in the knee. v
"Had a smash-up, Obed? Anybody
hurt?” cried Mr. Kittredge, rushing
out without his hat.
"Critters shied on Wharf’s Hill at one
of them pesky whizzin’ bicycles," an
swered the driver, limpiug down to open
the oonch door. ‘‘Tipped the whole
ooncem whopside up. Your sister went
sprawlin’."
"Yes. Ephraim; and the wheel criiRhcc.
Moses,’ cried the lady iu question
grappling with her bundles.
“Now 1 now 1 Sorry for that. But
I’m thankful you ain’t killed yourself,
Glad to see you, Lovantia."
Extending his palm iu oordial greet
ing, Mr. Kittredge received, instead of
an answering hand-clasp, the handle of
a carpet-bag. Not that his Bister was
either cold-hearted or chary of showing
Pttflbr—• severe apartment 30
iwdered with dust that she Wight have
■itten “bachelor" over it. Its most
wment articles of furniture were
id some old-fashioned cabinet
with entomolo'iioal speoimepa/ a
■aflogany oentre table beating a I
• few dead beetles and '
several books of naturu.
After » hasty survey-iMiss TjOVI
treated,, psepipitsteljr, and Upei
baldness
_ • oro’
bits valanoe
_ he neck, Ufa
“Good-afterttt&K, l{
Lovantia, with an eiiegrtUlaf might ,al
most have set this vauK Aravin*/’ -*\t
Tjie gentleman hSUakoUttm"
*yo into its socket, and del
smoothed a ruffled featho’r.
‘ ‘Good-afternoon," reiterated .
Lovautta, even more lustily than bw-ws.
The uqoouscious taxidermist adfoeffd
the second eye, holdiugthe biidatStfli'a.
length to nukk the
Equal to the emergency "Miss Lovan
tia pressed forward wifWu the oresoeut
described byf4%**tended elbow, and
“~1ded with tbA-ttnphasia his tleafueiS
“d to demited, fjtow Mr. Blodgett
^ a man to bewared khoWl,
to hollow semlllttttoe of one. His
■A Jomle* would admit that; hut
..n squinting between liis thumb
- Auger, the better to see this owl, he
surprised himself squinting at a stmnito
-woman, he was startled ( It is no dial
h^jLiih^ In I'js confusion
,h6 0Mtuif6W the bird of Minerva, but,
^llecting himself, quickly caught up
•-tin speaking-tube beside him, and
. iresentoif its mouth-pieoe to the in
truder,
"How this brings father before toe I”
tliQUgtit Miss LoVautia, her lips hover-
inlJoVp* the tube like bees nboutramorn-
t-Rpty blossom. "After talking for
_ "i’bavefl 4 !
mother I^Rneewkt Christmas,"
by an easy tftuisition, his
ghta revetted to his late caller, also
hereavedMMI a pqrqat, The encomiums
lavishg$nuMMHl^lBU>ltodiBpoaed
ilodgetTwaa a-man quit?eApabls'hf ap>
predating the beauty of filial dototiod-
▼et it mUat to ddilMM that U t^ai til
frapkl ( r •tptegaedWnterest in biinse..
wfiieh bad chiefly attracted him in that
it interview, Bo tat ak Let appliances'
—“ness _ were ComleHied, Re had
1-iu bp.Many snob to] caution
u any of theifi.' At the same
time! he wsk more than willing to try
whatever she nlight suggest. »
"I must look In ra Kittri
night; it’s only olvil, hi
BMt evening, while hatefully sprite
Moses's empty -skin with arseufi
'" i'I have his sister think I'm ui
When did Miss Lovantia ever spare
herself the trotiblo of doing, S kindness?
From n pure desire to accommodate, she
Weeded to Mr, Blodgett's proposal, and
tlje following morning the twain aft
forth in a stable phraMm redolent of
)w varnish.
“You’ve let the fsrtn this year, your,
' ithrW tolls mo|" Mr. Blodgett was say-
- they heated the old place.
wearing of his hat having re
ared the disuse of the auricles, ho had
Dtosshrily assumed the lend Of tho
versation; And he had advanced with
tion to the ptesbtii remark. “Bather
lonesome for you liore now, ifltl't it; so
jar from neighbors f”
lI‘iYu 8 i(^V BO , mo "easous,"
l %Ah Y I should suppose the summer
- _ on would he tho least lonesome of
any, We hate more stir at the village.
I jOnder how you’d like living tllefe ?"
is# Lovautb *#rayed litfWihterest
ipeonlntlon>s8ho wns trying to
and Mrs. KittrcdwMlfcoefl *P be hremember whether the rool her sister-in-
MIsstBPBRhT MVs|' a * wllufoc Stowed nwny tethoiittio
or in the shed chamber, and Mr. Blod-
rhttVi
litU^blivo-krnnoli-
, -was reading on tho
vyotor eyes, ma’am,”
, - v^ira, uiu Mil,
iiodMt** greeting W» he os.
le laid aaide the MWaidi^er wife
smile, perhaps not altogetnar aversMb
having it seaR that she diilWBOt wear
apeotacles. '&■
“A fine evening," continued Mr,
Blodgett, with* an approving glance
toward tile iituber siinsot.
Miss Lovantia nodded ncqniescenoa,
and haying ganted her guest, brought at
once the artificial oAr-dwms, Tlieig)
were shidd-slinpcd oalgg|£Xcs of vul.’
eanised rubber, wggesBgpf miniature
trattur-stnmps. Grasping eacli by its
delicate handle, Miss Lovantia inserted
them in the enrs of her patient. “Onu
you hear what I Bay ?” she domandod,
as a teat question.
"StayT Yes, they'll stay fast enough.”
“I said, ‘Con you hear what 1 sny ?'"
"TOotoudb play? Oh, no; they fit
as tight os a cork In a bottloJ’
“Can you—” A wail frdln tho bod-
room prevented the lepetition of thto
_ - v sontouoo and the possible rupture of a
years With .w-degf person, It would be blood-vessel. Miss Lovantia had waked
qnjfir if I ooukhLt make myself heard." th^haby. ,
why, no, 1 can't #ee -that t hear
ih better With my ears plugged.” re-
1 my oat; can you
“ ^with* snob ek-
" Blodgett ke-
ug drilled by
digWas yourSelf to raise your
Voice, pleaded ho, from a safe distnnoo,
“In the trumpet I can hear ordinary
conversation. This, I take it, Is tlib
catafalque ?” ho added, laboriously, ns
Miss Lovantia mutely handed him the
basket. “Or do you oall.it nn ark ? I’ll
draw Moses out of it, anyway.”
She responded by a scant smile, and,
another of her nods adapted to the deo«
Pleasantry was well in its way, Iwa It
must not stand in the way of business.
When she had satisfactorily finished her
errand, honker, she with real interest
erted to Mr. Blodgett's peculiar
trial.
y
‘My father conldu’t flesr much better
with the trumpet than without it,” she
said,“"and he wgR no ileafer, I should
Bay, than you/k'
“Few iu«jj|pgponJed Mr. Blodgett,
__ with thtj Jff3WI(pla<ipride of one emi-
her affect ion. For from tt. She wus uenti# misfortune,
simply a woman who could attend t6 y' L“,you have noises in your head?”
but one thing at a time, and the busi- ^"Any amount of ’em. Sometimes it’s
ness of the moment was to alight. »nd. sometimes it’s engines. I
a snuff-brown enshmero dappled with lw ‘ 1 ’ em the i nr °f the machinery lias
clay, with her Paisley pinned askew, and the foots of my hair. ”
her bonnet crushed* into an aggressive "It’s a hard dispensation,” observed
poke, she presented sq striking an ap- Miss Lovantia, referring to the noises,
pearance that the lit tie animate sun- and as she spoke she slyly wiped away
flowers nearly twisted their heads off ft tear.
in watching her movements. She do- The tear had been for lior dear old
posited her big basket upon the door- I father, similarly afflicted in Ids last
atep, drew from her glove her stago
fare, paid the driver, saw her trunk
safely landed iu the hall, and then, and
not nil then, did she greet her waiting
kinsfolk,
“Poor old Moses ! I thought he and
the children would have flue times to
gether I” sighed she, pausing from an
exhaustive hugging of the last and
least Kittredge to lift the unfortunate
puss out of the basket. “Well, it’s no
use crying. He couldn’t have lasted
much longer anyway- , He’d lost his
appetite and haif of liis teeth; lived
mostly on milk porridge.”
“How much father set by him 1” ip-
marked Mr. Kittredge* rcMfeectively,
stroking the animal’s silky ^ack fur.'
“Good old kitty. We d orter take yon
over to Blodgett’s and have you stuffed."
"Does the man understand his trade?
Then I’ll take him,” cried Miss Lovan
tia, with characteristic ambiguity of pro
nouns. "It's silly, I suppose, and a
needless expense; but seeing we’ve had
Moses fourteen years, and he Beems like
part of 'atlier, I can’t betif to bury him.”
“I’m going to tho blacksmith’s after
dinner. I’ll drive you and Susan over to
Blodgett’S-if you like,” said Mr. Kit
tredge, shouldering the trunk, "Now
make yourself ut. home, Lovantia. I
hope you’lLbo contented.”
Butin the ufternoon fate in the guise
of a caller detained Mrs. Kittredge, and
Miss Lovantia went alone with her
brother.
"Never mind; yon’ll get on well
enough,” said Mr. Kittredge consol
ingly, as they stopped at the tnxider-
mist’s. “I only thought it would be
pleasanter for you to have Susan along.
Blodgett is used to her voice. He’s deaf
as a haddock. ”
“I con make him hear; I ain’t con
cerned about that,” replied his sister,
wsrrantably proud of her ample lungs.
“I’d introduce you, but the colt won’t
stand in fly-time. No use to knock.
Walk right in.”
Miss Lovantia obeyed, to find herself
io 8 box of on entry with a room on
years; but how was Mr. Blodgett to
know this ? What wonder that’ he
fnucied the sympathetic woman was
weepiug for him-elf, and that the un
looked-for display of sentiment embar
rassed while it thrilled him ?
“Oh, I get along pretty well,” said
he, cheerily, stooping for the prostrate
owl, in order to hide his blushing lace,
and thus revealing his still more blush
ing crown. “I keep busy, and make
the most of my eyes. ”
"Just the way dear father used to
talk,” mused Miss Lovantia', touch agi
tated. “Possibly, now, some of his car
instrtomenta might help this unfortunate
I jjportal. I wish you’d try a. %mir of
v Uprioles I have at my brother’s,” she
said, halond. "Yon know my brother,
Ephraim Kittredge?”
“Know Ephraim Kittredge? I’m
proud to Bay I do. There isn’t a likelier
man iu Hillsboro,” replied Mr. Blodgett,
warmly. Ho might have added that he
also knew, by reputation, Mr. Kittredge’s
maiden sister Lovantia, who had for
years managed the homestead farm at
Hillsboro Centre like a man, meanwhile
caring for her infirm old fnther like the
most womanly of women, but on this
point lie maintained a discreet silence.
"Call over to his house any time, and
I’ll be glad to fit those auricles in for
you, Mo Blodgett^and if they don’t
suit, perhaps the ear-drums will. I
hope so.”
“Thank you kindly,” he replied, in a
pleased flatter.
Bdally he could not remember when
he had seen a lady so interested in liim-
Belf. He took unwearied pains to en
tertain liis amiable guest, showing her;
curious stuffed specimens of tho furred
and feathered species, and talking very
intelligently of their peculiarities. He
was not nt nil sorry that Mr. Kittredge’s
colt was fractious that afternoon about
being shod, since it protracted Miss
Lovcmtia’s call.
"How lonesome it seems without a
woman in the house,” he mused when
again left to the companionship of
my ears plugged,” re
marked Mr, Blodget t, unaware of the hi
terruption; aud he wan still conver t-
by himself iu an animated strain XU.’iY
bis hostess retn'rhe#*vcb the , n A.ui. irp. ’
purently the ctw^ mistook him for an
enlarged felln«*fflftby, for hi sight o{ bin
bald liendst'a weeping censed, and it
sprang ajrefnlly into his arms.
“T)p7 ou l ,,ve children?” shouted tho
a (ink left empty-handed.
V^No, never hnd; 1 am a bachelor,”
Stammered Mr. Blodgett, in evident em*
bnrraBstoonli
Miss Lovantia lost no time in exchang
ing the disappointing ear-drums for hei
father’s auricles,
"He always said they looked like ni
couple of sounding-boards,” she oriedJ
settling them in place, while the balm
oh Mr. Blodgett’s kuoo loudly ap
plauded. /
“I shouldn't «»e how they looked oil
the roods if they’d help my hearing, R
caught your moaning quicker^thu
time.”
"I hope Ihey'll suit- you better tha
more you use 'them. You must try thonf
.at home.” A
“Thank yon; I’d be glad to. W'lie if
aDjjbndxifeics in I'D clap ’em on. Y01I
seell tifkei* 1 two to handle this sort ol
thing, and I’m alone most of the time,'
now mothor is taken awny,”
“A remarkably tender-hearted wo
man. Wlmt a wife alie would have
made?” he soliloquized that niglit as "ho
balanced tho ear fixtures astride llie wuv i but lie had now set his heart—
head-board of his lied, “Well, well, for
gelt’s next words struck her like a bolt
froma clear Bky.
“I know it's considerable for a deal
mi)n t" imk, but you're alone in tho
world ns well us I, ami I've got means
enough to support you in good shape il
you’UB agrooabio—agreeable to thapropo-
sftion, I’mean,” ho amended, iu cou-
• fusion; then paused anxiously, under
fthe lljnpressiou that ho had made uu
offer of njnrriage,
Ho had chosen Alib singularly inop-
pdMjjffno moment of tlieir arrival at liio
gale, and to avoid replying Mifjs Lo-
Vantla alighted in suoh’ zealous baste
that, despRo liis best efforts to protoot
her gArmpnts, she' wiped impartially
each muddy wheel. Ten minutes later,
flushed and nervous, she emerged from
tho house carrying a black object re-
remliling a Japanese fnn.
“Well, here’s tho audinhono,” shouted
Bhe, seating herself with a busiuess-liko
air. "I’ve tightened tho string about
as father had it. Hold it against your
upper teeth—so.”
“If your imswer shouldn’t be fnvor-
ftblo, I shdtlMrthite to huvo it thrown at
my teeth,” responded Mr. Blodgett,
making a bravo struggle for playfulness;
"but I’ll try to Bear it whatever it is.”
This was hardly what he had intended
to sny, aiuf he added, gallantly: "I
really hope you’ll seo fit to marry mo,
Miss Kittredge.”
'-"“t don’t believe I’d better,” said she,
wTtli an earnest itiunniafeB.' ■ — ti rt
alone In the traces so long I’m afraid I
shouldn’t got on well in a doublo team.”
“Not if wo were harnessed tandem >
I'd lie willing you should lead off; I al
ways let mother,” said ho, jocose from
habit, yet so muoh in earnest ns to bo
quite nnoonsoious that he had heard
with ease,
“Oh, nonsense I I’d never tie tied to
anybody in thnt wav," cried MiSs
Lovantin, forcing a laugh. “Nor in liny
other,” she continued, hastily; “at my
time of life 'twould I10 ridiculous,"
“I dou't seo why,” said Mr. Blodgett,
easting a troubled glance at her across
the audiphono, which I10 held in his left
hand, while lie guided the horso witli
the right. "I wish you'd think the
matter ovor. ”
“Oh; nonsense !” repeated Miss Lo
vantin. "Why, Mr. Blodgett, do you
seo how well you hoar?”—a paradoxical
query that brought lior back to tho
secure subject of enrs, to which she
clung during the remainder of the drive,
8omo men might have been discour
aged by such treatment. Not so, Mr.
Blodgett. Ho hud said Miss Lovantia
might lead off; all tho samo ho meant
to overtake her. He wvmld not make a
(great rumpus about it; that was not his
a big heart and a Warm one— on marrv-
nu offset to her favors I shall mount tho! * n B ber, and failure would go hard with
Cat for nothing. That's no more'n civil.” him. Sedulously continuing his visits
Long he lay awake musing,-while the, at the farm-house, he wns cordially re-
tricksy moon turned liis head upside, ceived by all except Miss Lovantia,
down upon the pillow, converting his! whose welcome was fidgety and micer-
tawny whiskers into a wig, and shaping 1 lain. Though moru than willing to give
his forehead into a beardless chin, fa 1 U 1 1 ” r ’ 8 audiphono to one signally
Merely a lunar hallucination, of course. i liel P e “ b Y ». Bhe shrank from making it
If Mr. Blodgett’s head was turned, and l a ” °b]oct of merchaudjgbarid had flatly
I can’t Bay it watt not, il wns in the ficur- • u ,j V? tak^jgmflm^Wor it; but sbo
alive sense. He lmd conceived a sudden j?,. . . 80 cSaDY rr-jeot the stuffed
aud unprecedented regard for a woman, ftaatimomals of gratitude which Mr.
„ ... , , „ . „ ... tplodgott persistently urged unotf in*
Nothuig ardent, nothing to afleet the ap- .
petite, but a brisk honest liking akin to j^, ^ ,la - y . thp f° c , a f 10 , ln uicreasing
i. .a V> 1 • .x ... P - . . tnumbcrB—BCHiirrcln. b uck. orav iuwl
that which lie had entertained'for hi( ,’“;"“”‘”"- 8 q"i'’rel« black, gray^andi
moilier uiirin. tl,„f i„,ivk 'F.e ml ! birds of many hues, every )*e oi^
..curious creature tho enamored taxider-
l numbers-
_.s
mother. During that ladyte .rciqB^i
would never have risked her pea8Tofi_. . „ , , ■ , , „
mind by bringing home a wife, no. n 0 tfe“‘ , 0 ° ? • 1,an<l8 , on “ a 1 Pl
even if ho lmd been rid of his sad "itli a sportive fondness that at
firmity. But now he had only himselfL 1 ™^ lt8 way *® ‘ b « h ? ar •
to Please, and here was Miss Kittredge[5l“ , ?? # * haV ? 0, ? ,Vartod Kittredge’s
smiling upon him in the very face «fHR!Sj" a , fad menagene by convey-
this infirmity. Ho fell asleep saying ^ “8 th; her his entire collcetion of am-
himself, “What’s to hinder?” fmal„ hud not Miss Lovantia sensibly
It was observed that after this ho ^ by her8elf
made frequent pilgrimages to the-Kit- I, B n i
tredgo domicile. Now would Mis?Lo. v ^he toUow ng Octobw when as a
vantia see if he wore the auricles aright? L, , . b< ? uewly-furnished
Again, would she tell him whether or^'*l le par |? r ’ th ? brst ob > ect f° f reet her
not she could mako him hear Jfy^ M^ ljiug on a velvet cushion
readily than at firbt? A third time he’ 1 uni,! t . i; ,
dropped in to assure himself that he; n1l - ° ld 0 , beaaty ^ alm „ ottt behove you’re
had perfectly understood her wishes*° 866 mo ’ orled sbe ’
concerning Moses. Serenely unconsciousi ,, T ... .. .,. ,,
of the gentleman's growing attachment,^ n J' bd ' ayb “ t t w th h,m ’ ’ ^ tbe
«he received him with unruffled equaHf[ atdled low , er " B “i^ 1 -
nimity, her interest in him rem»ining£ bo “t' n 'm % 1,,0 hy da y Tor
centred, so to speak, in his ears. TheseP 7/afper < 8 \y ec kL '
\vt*ro Vionofiforl o flofrron liv (lio <in_i ‘ ^ J
were benefited fn’ a degree by the 110-1 IJUr l M ' r « ivt e/wy.
rjcles ; nevmrlheless, he heard none too., Ofkman N " *
well, and Uliss Lovantia openly regretted!^ / .
tw’h U “ 'T—f “-Hf—‘“Navy List for 1881 is R*ist, hTsued 00 ’The
that he could not experiment with her. * • , v „„ J
father’s audiphono, packed away in at } , ,. ■ y ‘>w comprises thirteen
chest at the old hoiestead. ,lr V. fr ‘ gate8
and six corvettes. There are thirty-one
"I shall drive over to the Centro to-jeruioers, of which twenty-one are cor-
morrow, Miss Kittredge,” said craftyS-ettes and ten gunboats, besides thirteen
Mr. Blodgett, despairing of securing aironelad gunboats and fifteen torpedo
private interview by other means, “amfbonts for coast defence.
I’d be glad to call nt the farm for that' 11 ——
instrument—that is, if you’d take the Ph,! generous heart should seoru a
troubjq to go,” pleasure which gives others pain.
HOT Wil l,IHO TO'OO.
A Mule Starr Absat • Maa Whs WsnU
Stha.
ifjr.^Dlo Lewia any*: I used to know
a oarpentor whoso Wife was a wretched
invalid. 1 saw her frequently, and
pitied her. She. hnd flvo children be
tween four and ton yoars of age. With
her housework and tho enro of her ner
vous little ones, life wns a day-and-night
torture, Tho husband was a large,
healthy turtti, und provided for his fam
ily, but behoved in no nonsense about
women. He knew liis wife was n great
sufferer, and that tho children made her
almost Wild, liut ho said, "If slio did not
like children, What in the world did she
have ’em for ?"
When tho wife was on the very verge
of insanity, she lost her reserve, and
told me that he vpuld never get up with
tho cHildreil night, while she rose to
do for them often, tub times in a single
night. '- '
He was the lending singer in largo
meetings in his ahuroli, and bad a tre
mendous voioo.
One evening, when balling io see tho
poor little mother, I found her in the
Kitchen, snrroffbded by her Imlf-wild
Children, It was dillloiilt to hoar tho
description (if her nervous headache tho
children made sneli a racket. The hus
band was in the parlor roaring t
’‘JrruHftlom, my happy homo,
Oh, how 1 long for thed 1”
and when I told her lie must keop tho
children nwny from her ns much us pos
sible, she confessed that ho hnd said ho
would not support his fnmily aud nurso
babies iu the Imrgnin.
Before leaving, I went ill to Bee tho
singer, Ho told mo that ho could sing
"Jerusalem, My Happy Homo," in eight
different tliUen, and offered to sing them
all for mo. I listened to two. Ho hnd
the voice-of a bull. Laying liis hood
hack in his big armolinir, and closing his
eyes, ho actually made things tremble,
lie told me that this was liis favorite
,ong, and he hoped that ho sang It with
■‘the spirit and tile understanding."
Perhaps I was novof happier tlinn
when culled a few nights later to sea this
nan iu a bilious oolio. I was on tip-too
vi see how a man who could sing with
‘the spirit and tho understanding” “Je-
i mullein, oh, liow I long for thee” iu
right different tunes, would holinvo with
s strong colio. I never hnd a patient
look up into my face with more of that
pathetic appenl—“Oh, doctor, Bavo mo I
I learned afterward thnt ho snug tills
grand Jettinnlum song frequently, and
often with a "far-away look,” but in the
immediate presence of colic, ho cried,
”My God I I am nfnrid it is nil over with
rao. Oh, doctor, enn’t you give mu
“ometliing powerful? i'll take any-
■Miing.”
When a moment of relief came I could
rot resist saying:
"You sang 'Jerusalem, oh, how I long
for thee,’ with sneli fervor that I rather
expected to find you willing to go.”
"Oh, don’t talk that way,” ho cried;
“that's a very different thing; that’s
only Hingin'. Oh, doctor, it’s u-comin’l
it’s a-comin' I”
When the gripes got n good hold, J
never saw a human faco with less of tlio
“far-away look” iu it. On tho contrary,
'hero was an expression of intense in
terest in something vory near homo,
Didn’t l’ny Kxpensea,
A searcher nfter hidden fortunes tells
Ibis story. He found in Ohio a eliap
who was in for twenty years, and liis
statement was that he’d been smugglin’
on the Canada line, and wns arrested
for manslaughter while liringin’ ovor
3150,000 worth of diamonds. There wns
five stones, and where do you suppose
they were ? Tho man said they were
plugged in tho teeth of a Hamiltonian
mare called Rose, that belonged to a
stableman in a littlo Canada town uenr
the river. Ho hired lior for tho time.
Well, wo started after the more, found
tho stableman, und lio’d sold her to a
farmer in a place called Lincoln, Vt.
When he got there the man hud sold her
to a New York city dealer for a brood
rnaro. His name was Smith, and he
lived ill New York north of 100th street.
It took about two months to run him
down, aud when wo did he’d sold the
mnro down in Jersey, and there we
found her. A sportin’ farmer hnd her.
She looked pretty bad, hut we’d spent
over 81,600 tracin’ her, and my pal triod
to buy her. But tlio man wouldn’t sell,
so wo had to break into tho stable, and
tlint put us into the grip of tlio law. But
wo wan’t caught. Oh, no ! Wo got in
nil right, and I held the mare’s mouth
open while lie felt for the stones with a
dark lantern. Every one was gone but
one. The fillings had all been broken
off by tho bit probably, arid the stones
had dropped out or been swallowed; so
wo didn’t pay expenses.
THE JOKERS’ BUDGET.
*|IAT WB FIND IN TUB IWMOKOUK
FA Pit UN TO SIHIU OYBK.
BOKO or TM* AU/-WOOL SII 1ST.
My father bonght an nmlomhirt
Of bright and flaming rod—
“All wool, I'm ready to aaaort,
Fleece dyod," the merchant said.
“Your eizo ia thirty-eight, I think;
A forty yon Hliould got,
Shico all-wool goods arc bound to shrink
A triflo when they're wet." •
That shirt two weeks my father woro—
Two washings, that was all—
From forty down to thirty-four
It shrank liko leaf ln fall.
1 worn it then a day or two,
lint when 'twas washed again
My wifo said "now 'twill only do
For littlo brother Bon.”
A fortnight Bon aqnooaed into IV—
At last ho said it hurt.
Wo put it on our liaho—tho fit
Was good as any shirt.
Wo no'ur will wash it more whilo yet
Wo seo its flickering light.
For if again that shirt is wet
'Twill vanish from our sight.
Euukne Field.
NR AH BNOUOn.
A Michigan girl told her young man
that she would never marry him until
he wns worth $100,000. Bo he started
out with a brave heart to make it.
"How are you ^getting on, Goorgo ?”
sho naked at the expiration of » oouplo
of months.
“Woll,” George said hopofally, “I
have saved up $22.”
The girl dropped her eyelashes and
blushingly remarked, "I reckon that’s
near enough, George.”
THB AOKNT FOILED.
A man who wob selling polish, or
something of tho sort, entered the yard
of a colored family on Illinois street and
inquired of a boy who sat on the door
stop;
“Bub, is your mammy home?”
"Yes.”
The agent raised his hand to knock on
tho door, but it was opened and tbe wo
man stuck her head out and exclaimed.'
“Go right oway, sah—go right away I
I hoard you siieakin’ to do boy, and
I want you to distinctly understan’ dot
de agent who dolin’ iuqtiar' lor de lady
of de house doaif make no sale I”—
Detroit Free frees.
Mittened.
An interesting story was overheard
not many days ago by one who had
chanced to occupy tho seat behind two
girls on a railroad car. The young
ladies—both evidently from the rural
districts—mot unexpectedly ou the train.
They proved to be old friends, nnd were
soon launched into a conversation that
might bo said to come under the head
of confidential. One, a prettybrunette,
was about to bo married, and proceeded,
in answer to her companion's inquiries,
to give a description of the man of her
choice. After quite a little dissertation
ou his good qualities, she acknowledged
that he was not very good-looking.
“No, Frank’s not n bit handsome—he’s
too stout for that; but, Currie, yon
should have seen (he man I mittened)
Oh, but he was pretty.”
TWO FATAL DEFECT.
Mrs. Jenkins—“Dour me, Matilda
Jane, it’s no uso trying to lie aristocratic
any longer. I’vo done everything mor
tal woman could since your pnr did so
well in lumber, but tho obstacles is too
great. I give it up,” Matilda Jane—
“Why, mil, I think we’re getting along
splendid, I'm sure. We don’t eat with
our knives any more, and we’ve got so
wo dare speak to the butler ut dinner.
Tlio way you siiy ‘Janies, you may go’
sounds like a queen talking. What is
the trouble now?” Mrs. Jenkins—
“Well, I was reading only a littlo while
ago that the gout and a fnmily feud were
necessary adjuncts to aristocracy, and I
don’t seo any prospects of seourins
either."
THE HOTEL CLERK.
“Pa, who is that pretty man ?”
"My child, thnt is the hotel clerk.”
“Does he know he’s pretty?”
“What a question I Of course ho
does."
“Then peoplo don’t have to tell him?'
"Deoidedly not.”
"What mnkes him so pretty ?”
"His graces and liis ornuments,”
"What nre his graces ?"*
"Modesty and truthfulness.”
"How modest is he ?”
"As a government mule."
"Is he always truthful ?”
"Certes.”
"What are his ornaments ,
"Virtue and Chatham street dia
monds.”
“Has he any other attraction ?”
“He has—frequently.”
"Wlmt is it?”
"Gail.”—Hotel Reporter.
GET HIM NEXT TIME.
A deaf old fellow, charged with steal
ing a hog was arraigned before a court.
The jury, without leaving tho box, re
turned a verdict of gnilty.
"Old man,” said his lawyer, “the
jury says you are guilty.
"Hay?”
"The jury says you are guilty," shout
ing in his ear.
"In what degree?”
"There are no degrees in a stealing
cnee."
"Hay?”
"There are no degrees.”
“Guilty all over, am I?”
“Yes.”
"Hay?”
"Yes,” yelling at the top of his voice.
"Well, that's what I told you at first,
but you said you could clear mo. Wish
now that I had got the judge to defend
me. Will get him next time ?”—Arkan-
saw Traveler.
AN EPICURE H ENTHUSIASM.
The following actual conversation,
which occurred two or three years ago,
will be appreciated in the light of roeent
developments in our municipal govern
ment;
“Well, "said a friend to a newly elected
Boston Common-Council man, "so yon
were successful ill the late fight.”
“Yes, but I had a hard rime to pull
through. Cost father a clean $200. I
don’t know much about the business,
but guess I’ll fumble soon enough.”
“Hope you will. What’s the salary?”
"Salary ? Ain't no salary; but, oh,
Moses,, the feed 1!’’—Boston, Bulletin