Newspaper Page Text
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The White House conservatory is
the finest in the world. It contains 8, 1
plants in the conservatory proper, ai>S
111,000 in the hot houses. The white
house is decorated every day with abot|ji
r 800 plants, flowqring, tropical apd’JcJl-'
ago. The building and
valued at $50,p00, and el^
X sides tho head girifener, al
all the time taking care
eto. The annual expenso of
\ ) the conservatory is $5,500,
A sEai'OHKit for truth write* from
Portland, Orogon, tliat_the groat north
west is not tho ptaco (or men without
money. Ho adds thdfitf .mcUajrho are
down nt tho heel and are played Otti
everywhere else continuo to push for
ward into Orogon the great state will
be a fool’s paradiso by another jvear,
with more tramps than there we?s.in
Now Englnnd juBt after,jttie)collapso in
1873. Clerks and meriflfifints may 1 as
well stay where they i re, and, indued,
the farmer who lias from 1300 to $600
will do bettor to stay at homo than to
apend it all iu traveling to an unexplored
country.
In a letter to Edwaitl jh, Bandall,)
president of tho Kccly Motor company,
the inventor announces that tho me
chanical portion of his invention is com
plete. After the first of next month
“nothing will be left,” lie says, “but sot-
' V ting up tho transmitter, when all labors
will terminate preparatory to opening
and showing the specific quali ios of the
pnrtec t vibratory engine. It MfeKecly osls
that a sa4nblib WacoifeA pftlic erfhifo-
tion, capablo of accommodating several
hundred persons, be secured for an early
day. Mg'. Randall has sent out a circu
lar to all the iitrtfckifoldors announcing
tbe-o facts, and infercntinlly asking them
to hold themselves in reudincss for the
grentcjftoxKibition the wot d has ever
seen. The “greatest exhibition” will
tako place in Phibtdelppia.
A number of New York capitalists
have recently organ i/.ed a stock com
pany for the purpose of advancing the
cause of cremation in New York city
and its vicinity. It is proposed to con
struct a crematory in Riverside avonuo,
north of One Hiuidred and Fourteenth
street. Tho plan of the furnace will dif
fer materially from that of Le Moyno’s
crematory nt Washington, Pa. The
~ - movement has its origin iu a belief that
tlio desire to be cremated is more pop
ul,r than is usunjy supposed, and
steadily growing, aud furthermore, that
ultimately cremation will become a sani-
/ tnry necessity in New York and all largo
citieB. It is asserted that by the meth
od of cremation the aslies of an ordinary
human body enn be reduced by compres-
iion to tho size cf a small apple or
turnip.
Mr. A. M. G. Sebii.lot proposes to
construct a steamer which wi 1 make the
trip between Now York and Enfbpe In’
four dayB. The vessel will have virtu
ally two hulls, a lower and upper, the
lower in tho center to be deep, long,
narrow, and at the bows very sharp, re
ducing the angle forward by tho lino of
the bows where they cut tho water with
the line of tho vessel’s motion from one
of fifteen def^o a,, asinow, to oven three
degrees. Wb4u 'thd Vessel is d^Aply
laden it will barely rest upon tho yyater.
The ;:adcul0tionB sliopr.that a^teame# so
constructed could obtain s speilid of pos-
r sib y thirty-five knots an hour, nnd at
that rate four days would, bo ■sufficient
for passage in calm water from New
York to Europe in four days. If Mr.
Sobillot makes a success, it is probable
that passenger steamers- will be built
after the new fashion, while tho old style
steamers will be devoted to the freight
traffic.
Boats and vessels run some queer
risks The common swordfish has
been known tj plunge its sword
through the cogp-r qlreotliing, a three-
inch plank of 'hard wbrfd, a piece of
white oak twelve inches thick, a two
and a half inch o|k ceiling, and finally!
into i ho head e£ a barret, of oil. When
it is recollected that a sword fish strikes
with the accumulated force of - fifteen
double hammers, its ve'ooity being equal
to that of a swivel”, it will be seen that
this is a terrible .monster to cope with
Whales also ana : terrible things to en
counter. It is a common thing for a
large wlia'e to stave in a vessel and sink
her in a few minutes. In southern WM*
>. i ters mariners jitahd* in ,-great dread off,
beautiful bubble-with tentacles some-
t imes 1U0 feet long,. arcied with darts of
a .poisonous nature, Cuttlefish some
times atUtek vessels, and are regarded
quite dangoroua. Rut these are only
>w q( of the great deep. It
’WoulctTp^ifitya h^lume to enumerate
them ail. ,«•
t tlfK statistics ot suicide in the United
States during the tiftss autumn months
of 1383 are rcmajjfable. During that
fttBe 347 persons committed self-murder.
Of this number .13* killed themselves in
ftepfoftjW* 131 iifc, October,
November, The liuihber of males was
258, females'' 89. As to condition 111
were bachelors, 40 were maidons, 121
were husbands, 22 were widowers, 42
were wives, 6 wero w dows and 2 wore
divorced women. The,ages ranged from
13 to: 91, but tho propdrtloh''of middle-
aged and o dorly people was largely in
excesp of the young. As regards nation
ality, 128 were Americans, 114 were Ger.
mans, 27 wore English, only 12 were
Irish, and the others were of various na
tionalities. Poison was the favorite
mode of destruction, but one victim re
sorted to dynamite, and another impaled
himself on his own wooden leg. Ths
suicides wero of all occupations, but
farmers were the most numerous. The
causes for those rash acta woTBf lnsanity,
109 ; sickness, 39"; fmsiuess trouble, 46;
.faintly tionhlo, fi-P? love trriifhle', 26;
dissipation, 21; destitution, 24; grief, 8.
’1 he Southern States had somowhat less
than their proportion.
Tennessee has four iron belts—the
eastern, dyostone, Cumboiland and west
ern. The oaBteru extends through the
state. The dyes tone belt skirta the
southern base of the Cumberland table
land from Virginia to Georgia. Itsproa Is
into tho Esst Ki nnossco valley a distanee
of (rom ten to twenty miles. The Cum
berland belt extends into Kentucky and
Alabama. The western holt lies west of
tho central hasin and is for the most
part east of tbo T^uiessoe river. Iron
is found in forty-fbiir counties in the
statp^nd the sgpplytey ractieal 1 y inex
portation ’acUiiies has greatly retarded
the development of those ore beds, but
the advantages hell out in the shape of
cheap manufactu in will cro long bring
Tennessee into the front rank o- indus-
rial states.
The second volume of the census on
manufactures is full of interesting fig
ure . It shows among other thing, that
the steam power of tho country far out
runs its water power. Out of 8,410,837
horse power in all employed in manu
factures, only one-third consists of water
power. These figures would be still
more one-sided if the power of griBt and
saw mills was excluded. These kind of
mills are chiefly driven by water power,
aud they are not considered as strict y
manufacturing establishments. In mnnu.
faeturos proper steam power is probably
uped four to one. Wherever coal can be
hud down at three dollars a ton, water
power is no longer considered preferable,
no matter what the fall or quantity of it
may be. Steam is a better servant at
all timeB than water, and it is rapidly
supplanting it where the fuel supply is
not prohibitory.
In the grist and saw millB of Georgia
there are 36,655 horse power, but all tho
uoWer does not add to the wealth of the
tate as much as does the horse power
us.d in our manufactures proper, We
use in this way 15,395 horse power.
• These are not immense figures when
compared with those of the great manu
facturing states of the northeast; but
they show that Georgia leads in manu
lectures all the other cotton states. Ten-
liesoe uses 14,379 horse power, Virginia
13,275, North Caroli, a 7,962, South
. Carolina 6,900, Alabama 4,680, Missis
sippi 2,613, and Florida 301.
Pennsylvania is the groat manufactur
ing state of the union, using 35-1,774
horse power; New York commences
next, using 280,099 ; Massachusetts with
279,114, follow closely after; Ohio has
142,858 horse power, and little Con-
nrcticut b1i6ws up with 104 552. Con
necticut is a marvel o' manufacturing
industry. There are only 600,000 peo
ple in the little state, hut she useH more
horse power than all the south, exc ud-
ing Missouri, West Virginia, Maryland
and Delaware. The Bouth has no reason,
however, to be diseonraged, for she has
ODly just entered upon an industria
career, and a few years will bo apt to
change the relative figures very mate
rially. At present the three states,
Pennsylvania, New Yo k nnd Massa
chusetts', usq more horse power in manu
factnres than all the other states and the
territories combined.—Atlanta Constitu
tion,
In the penitentiary flUTfilth Caroline
there are llS/^hftee and894^)laoka.
^ At Prfttw^tow^Ala. are 600
convicts, indhdrag'ttaie‘Mfcl county
men.
A French. lemon tree at Daytona,
Volusia county, Fla., haa 1,900 lemons
oh it
JTHf stun of $10,866,000 is invested in
iilHfefectarin&fcjhUte (opr principal cit
ies of Lousiana. " ”
NoRTn Carolinians aro reckoning
upon a great development of the oyster
trade on the coast.
During tne recent cold anaprOilaflc"
ton, South Carolina, haa the coldest
weather in 130 years.
The largest vessels ever built in Bnth
and other shipbuilding towns in Mulne,
vere built of Georgia pine.
Montgomery, Alabama, is getting
excited over the gsmbling question again
She sooms determined to root it out.
Nearly all Florida hotels get their
meat and poultry from New York.
Canned vegetables are almost exclusively
used.
The Frigate Colorado, which haa cost
$1,410,603, has been celTdomned at thb
Brooklyn navy yard, and she will bo sold
at auction.
Mississippi loses by death lest than
thirteen persona to the thousand annu
ally, aud this includes tho death rate
among the negroes.
There are now more than five hun
dred strangers prospecting for homes
and arranging for the purchase of prop
erty in North Carolina.
The winter thus for is not considered
unfavorable to the whoat crop. Through
much of the winter wheat belt there havb
been lihoral falla of snow, general y the
harbinger of good crops of all kinds
The best maenroni consumed in this
country is. according to the Philadelphia
Ifi'csH. made of California wheat. New
wtr, nnisinttpiiiM -... .a o.^-i*swiWuuvi
make more maccaroni than is imported.
Sixteen years ago a law was passed
providing for tho gradual manumission
of slaves in Cuba, of whom there wore at
the time about 386,356. So well has
this law been administered, tho planters
in mnny cases showing a willingness to
act even in anticipation of its provis
ions, that 285,000 slaves have already
been set free.
Postmaster General Gresham says
if the hill providing for a poatoifiee
building in every town having 2,500 in
habitants is amended so as to limit tho
cost of the building in each case to 115.-
0C 0 and pro vide that they shall he erec
ted under the supervision of the post
master general lie will nnDrove it Hitt,
the author of the hill, says it will be so
amended and passed.
One pound of rice gives 88 per cent
of nutriment, and one pound of beef 26
per cent. And yot, says the Journal of
Health, countless numbers of the poor
strain nt a point daily to purchase beef
at 15 cents per pound when they could
get a pound of lice at ono-third of that
amount, the rice, too, having three times
as much nutriment as the beef and three
times ensier of digestion.
Saturday was a Bold day at tho Sa
vannah (Ga.) custom-house in foreign
clearances, tho total valuo of exports
footing up $638,757,45. The cargoes
cleared consisted of 11,795 hales of up-
I land cotton, and 148 hales Sea Island,
856 sacks of cotton seed, 6,703 barrels of
rosin and 1,500 barrels spirits turpentine.
On that day there wore Beventy-ono ves
sels in port at Savannah, consisting of
steamships, 3 ships, 34 barks, 4 brigs
pnd 26 schooners. This shows a rapidly
increasing export trade for Savannah,
and would do credit to a city of larger
pretensions.
TnE region around Charleston'west
Virginia, is now being thoroughly tested
for oil. In boring salt wells in the saline
belt crude petroleum haa interfered with
operations to such an extent that in
many instances tho wells had to’bo aban
doned. It is the opinion of experienced
geologists that the richest oil belt in the
country is in the neighborhood of the
head-waters of the little Kanawha. A
Pennsylvania tyndicate has secured 300,-
000 acres of land in this section and in
the spring operations will begin on an
extensive scale. It is believed that the
successful issue of this experiment will
build up an oil corporation that will in a
Bhort time eclipse the Standard oil com
pany.
The Holland postal savin" banka
pay interest at the rate of ? r 1 per ecu’.
per annum.
A Nets* Tt.| it I.Vt. Kiri III. Diabolical
W«rk.
Td those whb believe that the praotioe
of thuggee bna been completely put
down m India, the story of Sharfu or
Hhtfifuddin, whose career of crime haa
just terminated by his being sentenced
to transportation for lifo, Will come ns
»n unpleasant revelation. Sharfu was
the ewi of^n butcher in a small vtllagoin
* ' * when yet a boy he de-
:ed-taste not .only for
Ihigt Mn even for oard-Bharping.
c ngrTmt- eighteen, having qnar-
-r-jMvhts fat lior, he loft hia native
village and Attached himself to a party
of hersn dealers! Ho then joined the
Bareilly police, but was shortly after-
wap! sentenced to fifteen months’ iro-
S ruonment for Injuring his wife; .the
sughter of Tlinkitr, whom ho had ab
ducted. In the Bareilly jail he cumo iu
contact with Tikka Ram, tho lioad of a
baud.'bf poisoners in the northwest
province. On their recovering their lib
erty they resumed opperations together,
making their headquarters iu the town
of Agra.- After six years' work of unde
tected crime, of which the details have
noil) eon revealed, tlio two fell out and
BHarfn joined tlio police force again,
bnly, however, to bo dismissed in a few
months. U was nfter this occnrronoe
that be resumed his operationsna "pro*
feasionnl poisoner on his own account.
His mode oL -working was simple. Dis-
$uMug hidjself as a well-to-do native of.
to waylay and enter into
vlfll tiaoflo natives of the
happened to ho returning
rings. His favorite seono
of operations was on tho Grand Trunk
mail. Onoo he hod struck up tho com
panionship with tlieso unsuspecting
travelers it was an easy matter to take
food witlilthem, nnd Sharfu rarely failed
to introduce the opium or dhatura
neodeil to drag his victims, whom be
speedily relieved of their savings. Most
of those it(wary persons recovered when
S ursuit was useless, but many of them
ied. Hia operations between the years
1867 and! 1872 were particularly numer
ous and successful, nnd official reports
recogniued tho extent to which thuggee
ptevoilnd in Punjab during that period.
In July, 1881, his seoret was revealed bv
Tikka Barn’s wife, with whom he hail
Lovers of tea will be gratified to learn
that in tho oup that ohoers them they
may, if they aro luoky, flud tho follow
ing' ngreenhlo Vnnoty: "Soapstone
ground to powder; clay called torra-
alba or gypsum; sand, or gravel, and
ash, and in many instances ‘lio tea,’
which is a substance made to imitato tea
aud composed of nnsmmd, exhausted
and rotten leaves, filth, the sweepings of
the factory floors and rubbish of all
kinds cemented together With starch or
other adhesive substance nnd modo into
pnrtiolcs resembling too.” This delec
table compound being "colored green
heavily hy moans of mineral matter com-
? osed of PriiBBian blue," becomoa the
'ing Suey tea of commerco and Now
York breakfast tables, as defined hy
Jiulgo O’Gorman in liis learned opinion
denying the suit of tho Board of Health
for an injunction to provont its sale.
Judge O’Gorninn’s decision, if it l>o a
correct interpretation of the law, is cer
tainly n striking refutation of the claim
that law is only the perfootion of com
mon souso. The Injunction is donied on
tho ground that although adulteration is
E roved, it is not proved that tho odul-
iration rendered the ton injurious to
health. That- is, anything may ho sold
for ten which in not toa, provided it is
not poison, Thon why have lnws
against the adulteration of food nt all ?
The olialk aud water wo driuk lot milk
or the turmeric and tallow wo ent for
butter oau hardly ho more injurious to
health, ono would think, than n docoo-
tion of sonpstouc, gypsum, sand, rotten
leaves, Bwoopiugs and starch, flavored
With Prussian blue. Yet heoauso tho
Bonrd of Health were unable to show
that anybody had boon tmlsouod by tho
filthy stud, its conscientious vendors
will continue to sell it nnd snap their
fingers at tho courts. If this ho law, the
sooner the law is changed the bettor for
ten-drinkors.
Tho disclosures about tho composition
ofHho so called Ping tinoy teas may lead
many consumers of that beverage to
loud a more attentive oar to tho warn
ings which prumiuout English pliyai-
eiaim aro beginning to lnnuch against
tho use of any ten ns an hahitnnl drink.
They say it conduces to dyspepsia and a
variety of other unploasaut diseases. On
_ __ the other hand, Sir Honry Thompson
been living for fourteen years; and iiej ^having forsworn wine and decided that
only just sufficient wnrning to make>
retreat in Baj|>ootana. Timas
his old practiacs, nnd plnced
hadteconvontent*fljSRV??,. 1 . ? f "J®
of, and who would pay handsomely Ylfl
the dangerous work. Ho long baffled
the pursuit of tho officials, nml it was
not until the present yenr that lie was
discovered through the instrumentality
of Tikka Bam, undergoing a short term
of imprisonment in Agra jail under n dif
ferent name. Brought up for trial at
Loodinna, he admitted hia guilt of
ninety-six cases of murdor or drugging,
and was sentenced to death, which was
afterward mollified to transportation for
life. Shorfu’s long impunity shows tlio
f rent difficulty of detecting crime in
ndin, at the same timo that it reveals
the extensive organization which crimi
nals have formed, in tho Punjab at nil
events. Mnoh light hns recently been
thrown by Dr. Lcitncr on tho argot
whioh thieves in tho Punjab have
framed for tlioir own use, and of which
Government officials aro absolutely ig
norant.—London IHriics.
Boys on Hie Farm,
A farmer writes:—"Every ' year wo
hear tho same complaint that farmers’
children aro enger to get away from tho
farm as soon as they can. Of courso
the cause of this is that thov are not in
terested in farm lifo, nnd 1 muko hold
to say that is usnally tho parents’ fault
if they are not thus interested. The
young lad, and tho young girl, too,
wants the chance of a little independ
ence—wants to make a little money nnd
Bpoud it themselves. Now, tho way to
interest thorn in any work is to lot them
feel that they aro working, in part nt
least, for themselves. So, I say, givo
your boy a sheep or pfg or cow for his
own property, or a portion of ground to
cultivate as ho sees fit. You will find
that ho will care well for tho animals
and will cultivate his land successfully.
For he will work with heart ns well as
hand, and lie will plnu how best to
oxpend his profits. The farmer may
say, I cannot afford to do it. I-need all
the income from the farm. I cannot
divert a part of it to bo spent at the
pleasure of a boy. Thon I answer, your
hoy will bo immensely proud to spend
what ho makes in clothing nnd caring
for himself, and if ho docs givo himself
a few pleasures, so much tho better. He
will acquire the idea that money repre
sents hard work, and will bo learning
how it ought and ought not to be spent.
Do not make a spiritless drudge of your
boy, and ho will not bate his father’s
calling.”
A Kart It miller.
It has long been tlio custom when a
ship’s rudder is carried nway to rig out
a makeshift, consisting of a spar or boat
towed astern by means of two cables,
one from each quarter of tho vessel; tho
steering being effected hy paying out
and hanling these cables alternately.
An English sea captain contrived such a
rudder in iho form of a life-raft or pon
toon, five feet long by three feet six
incites wide, which is thrown over
board and towed hy ropes connected to
tho wheel-chains. Y/uter enters the
1-ottnm of it fo ballast it; but when used
as i life-raft the water-holes are plugged,
’ -he pontoon floats on its side, carry
grated deck,
neither milk nor water can bo safely
drunk by nny ono who values his in
teruni ponce, proclaims thnt tea is tho
only beverage suitable for mail. In this
oonfliot of councillors, lovers of the Go-
follow: tlfn\'1ir“ift t ..l‘iL«t one safe rule to
they know it, or, hotter still, 'ho"gKevU
tea at all while Judge O’Gormau’s rul
ing romaius uurevorsed.—New York
llour.
THE JOKER’S BUDGET. ,
THEY ALL DO IT.
When winter’s lireeze
Denudes the trees
And nnturo settles down to freeze;
When round tho door
Tho wild winds rosr
And cold comes thronali tho ersekod old floor,
Our friends forgot to shut the door.
—Oil Oily BUmori.
A Coal Miner’s Story.
The following may show that gratitude
to a Higher Power is oftenor felt than
expressed to tlio outer world. "On one
oooasion,” said my informant, "threo of
ns wore orouchod down in a tub. Tlio
pony was going at a walk up a slight
rise. I oau’t tell you how it happened,
but I must have raised my head uncon
sciously abovo the level of tho tub. 1
felt my forehead touch a crossbeam in
the roof, and before I had time to rofieot
I know I was in fatal poril. The for
ward movemout of the tub jammed my
head between the boam and the edge of
the tub. I gave myself a wrenoh trying
to get free; hut I couldn’t. All this, of
course, passed in a fraotion of a second,
and I gavo myself up as dood. Now
comes tlio most woudorful part. At the
very timo my hood touched tlio roof, iu
the very crisis of my ngouy of mind,
when the whole situation flushed on mo,
the pony stopped. No ono hod tonohod
it or spoken to it. I had uttered no
ery. The pony stopped. I drew down
my head and couched nlmost fainting in
tho tub. My lifo was saved. I never
told my companions until wo came out,
when they remarked how pale I looked.
For weeks, wheuovor"l went down the
pit, I wsh nlmost unnerved by this terri
ble recollection. And I tell you, sir, I
havo road of drowning people seeing at
a glance all tho past scenes and doings
of tlioir lives—I never thought much of
it—hut I tell you every soene nnd deed
of my life seemed to come before me in
a flash of light. I saw everything. I
have never forgotten, and shall never
forget, the fqoling of that day. How it
was that pon^ stopped and my life was
saved, I can t say; but if it wasn’t Provi
dence, I don’t know what else it could
have been."—Chambers's Journal,
WHY IT RETURN IP.
AsTRONOMim—"The new oomot can
now be seen with tlio naked eye.”
Unolh Ham—"What new comet 1”
Astronomer—"The eomet of 1812,”
Uncle Bam—"Goodness gracious I
You don’t any so I Even the oometa are
coming book for pensions.”
qUITH A DIFFERENCE.
Mrs, Jones—"Do you know, dear,
that you promised to buy me a seal-skin
sack for n Christmas present ?”
Mr. Jones—"Why, no, dear; I had
forgotten that. When was it?”
Mrs. .1 ones— ‘ ’About threo weeks ago." •
Mr. Jones—"Oh, yes; I .remembei •
now, hut that wim before the gas bill
enmo in.”
NEEDED A CIIAFEL
Not long ago a Oliicngo editor oanght
a Chicago ex-Congrcssman looking over
a new liouso the former wns building,
nml took great delight iu showing him
around and pointing out the feature* of
tho atruoture. -
“This in tho drawing room," said he;
"this is the dining room, and this tho
library. Hero is the billiard room, aud
there in tho chapel 1"
"What do you wnnt of a chapel?”
wns nsked.
"I guess I need a chapel os mnoh as a
billiard room,” quietly obsorved the
editor.
"Well, I guess you do," solemnly re
sponded the politician.
A DOUBTFUL ASSURANCE.
She—"Yes, Alphonzo; I know you
love me now, bat I fear you will tire of
me.”
He—"How can you talk so? Nover
since' the world began has devotion been
deeper than mine. You do not doubt
tho stability of the United States Gov
ernment, do you?"
She—"Oil, no 1 I’m sure that must be
safe or my pa would not have put a
million dollars into United States
bonds. ’’
‘VsMtf’X’ -
He—"Never doubt moagain. My Jove
will lost as long as tho United States
Government does.”
• A GOOD MEMORT.
In an Austin street car were several
gontlemen who passed nway the timo in
telling jokes and anecdotes. Among
them was also a cranky individual who
positively refused to enjoy tho fun, and
after eaoli yarn ho would remark:
"That’s nothing new. I hoard that
years ago."
“Did yon ever hoar the anecdote about
Goorgo Washington and the railroad
conductor?" naked one of the company.
"Why, certainly,” remarkod the
cranky individual, "although I cannot
now remember the circumstances."
It was not until the lnugli had gone all
around that the crank discovered flow
badly ho hodbecn sold .-Texas Siftings.
Consolation.
Smith Washington, an aged colored
African, whitewashed tlio fence of an
Austin hanker for $1.25, which tho
hanker psid him in Mexican quarters
at par. Several days rolled away into
eternity before Smith Washington had
any occasion to put one of these Mexi
can quarters into circulation, hut when
he attempted to do no, ho wan shocked
•by the 20 per cent, discount. His
feelings were hurt, too. lie lifted up
his voice and said:
“Joss ter think oh u hanker, in whom
I hud ebory confidence in de world,
heating me out of a quarter oh n dollar.
I 'lowed he was an lmnest man. I
hadn’t orter tuck de job in do fust
place,” and thon he added, more cheer
fully: “But ef X hadn’t tuck de job lo
whitewash de fence, I neither would
hah found outwharde chickens roe ,ted,
and as I sold i-ri wnlf oh chickens next
morning, do hank huin’t notched up wid
me yet. Somehow, de Lord altera
tempers de wind to da shorn lamb,"—
Texas Siftings,
A TERRIBLE RESOLVE.
"Do you sec that dndish looking fel
low over there, the one that lookB more
like an organ-grindor’s monkey than any
of tho others?”
"Yes.”
“Well, I hate him nnd I am going to
drivo him into an insane asylum; where
lie will never he heard of again."
“Oh ! n,mo now. In tho first plaoe,
you would not do such a thing, and in
the second place, you could not.”
“But I oau, though.”
“How in tho world can you?”
"Easily enough. There is to be a
grand party to-night, and he will lie
there. ”
“Yes.”
“I am to write a notice of it for tho
society paper, and iu loss than forty-
eight hours he will bo so crazy that the
dootors will liavo hita locked up,”
“Goodness gracious 1 how will you
manage it ?’’
“J will Bpoll his name wrong.”—Even
ing Call.
AN INTELLIGENT DOG.
“I thought you said that dog knew
his business,” said a metropolitan youth
who had beeu out after ducks and had
hired the dog to assist him.
“So I did,” was the reply; “there isn’t
a better bird dog in this part of the
country.”
“He’s the worst mongrel I ever saw,”
continued the youth. “Why, I hadu’t
been out more than half an hour before
he left me in the lurch.”
“What did ho do?” asked the man.
“Why tho first duck I saw was perched
Tii a fence and, through some trouble
with the gun, I fired at it seven times
without hitting it and every time I wonld
fire the dog would set up a long howl.
After the seventh shot, an 1 just as I
was getting a #ure sight on tho bird,
what does the miserable our do but tear
a piece out of my pantaloons and, with
his tail lretweon his legs start on a dead
run for homo. Do you call that a dog
that knows his business ?”
“Yes,” replied|the owher of the intelli
gent animal, patting him on the heed,
"I ^."—Philadelphia Call, _ ,