Newspaper Page Text
It pleases the Ladies
Because
It is Clean and the Odor
Is Pleasant
And Because it will Heal
A Wound
Or Burn (Quicker and with
Less Suffering
1 han any remedy known
To Medical Science.
What is it?
w 1 Tichenor’s
T f-ff? C TC\T F7A7
■*
BRACELET • *
1 he pride of Mrs. Lester’s heart
v. ..s vested in her diamonds. With-
fo’t these diamonds, Mrs. Lester of¬
ten remarked, she would feel like
nobody. Consequently when Miss
Arabella Tiptop espoused Mr. Au¬
gustus Highflyer, and the pair gave
their grand reception prior to their
European tour, Mrs. Lester donned
her jewels and in gala attire pro¬
ceeded to make her call. It was a
formal affair und soon over, and
Mrs. Lester returned home antici-
pa ting no change in her domestic
arrangements, but to her surprise
the moment she entered the hall her
eye encountered, perched on the two
hall chairs, a mammoth valise of
dingy yellow and a large basket
with two handles.
“What are those, Bridget?” she
said faintly. Bridget tittered.
“They’re luggage, mum,” she
“You’ve got company, an ould
gentleman and an ould lady. They
are in the back parlor, and they bid
me say nothin’, bekase they’d like
to give you a pleasant surprise.”
“A pleasant surprise!” muttered
Mrs. Lester, and with anything but
a happy expression on her counte¬
nance she sailed toward the back
parlor.
There on either side of the fire
sat an old ladv and gentleman, cer¬
tainly very clean and luiy and per¬
fectly respectable, but with as little
pretense to fashion as Noah and his
wife.
Mrs. Lester summoned up a smile.
“Aunt and Uncle Trotters, I de¬
clare,” she said.
“I knowed you’d be astonished,”
said the old lady.
“Well, how are you both?” said
"
“Oh, we’re middlin’,” said the old
lady; “but Aunt Jenkins, she’s had
rhe’matiz a year, poor soul, and
Tom’s children have got the whoop¬
in’ cough awful, and Sary’s boy
tumbled off the barn, where he
•hadn’t no business to be, and put
his shoulder out, and Pete Brown,
he’s lost three cows and a calf and
half his chickens.”
After this remark there was a
pause. The old gentleman broke it:
“When a thing has ^ot to be got
over, it’s best done. \ou won’t be
offended, 1 hope, Augusta ?”
“At what ?” asked Mrs. Lester.
“You see, ’twas better’n not corn¬
in’ at all, but we’ve got to run
away right after tea. My wife says,
‘Lor’, Timothy, what will Gusty and
her pardner think of us after not
bein’ to see ’em for a year?’ Says I:
*She/-> excuse us, seein’ we hain’t no
time, but have got to go bv the
night train. Next time/ says I,
‘we’ll stay a week.’ Now, you ain’t
offended ?*’
M rs. Lester rang the bell.
“Take my cloak and bonnet up
stairs,” she said to the girl, “and
tell cook to have dinner early.”
Then Mrs. Lester smiled and sat
down in all her splendor before the
fire to listen to accounts of the
Smiths’ pigs and Brown’s cow and
how Sally Sprigg’s help stole the
best tablecloths until a well known
ring at the bell announced Mr. Les¬
ter. Thereupon his lady for once
played the affectionate wife and ran
to meet him.
“Aunt and Uncle Trotters are
here,” she said.
Mr. Lester scowled.
•_ “Gracious,, he aven s!” he_ejaculat-
ed. ^iid the Atwoods are coming
to s ^ end the evening with us. They
ale hotel stopping at the Fifth Avenue
for a few days.”
“Uncle and aunt are going imme¬
diately after dinner,” said Mrs. Les¬
ter, “and fortunately I’ve ordered it
early. Don't be cross, George, for
you know they haven’t chick or
child and for all their shabbiness
are very well off.”
As far as an early dinner went
Mrs. Lester did her part, but the
Trotters were slow going folk.
When at last the bonnet strings
were tied and the gloves on, Aunt
Trotters bethought her of a new
cause for delay.
“Poor Aunt Jenkins will never
forgive us if we don’t take a letter
from you,” she said. “Jest sot
down, Gusty, and write a line.”
Mrs. Lester smiled down her in¬
dignation and sat down to pen the
note.
The gilt edged paper, pens and
ink were arranged, thoughts collect-
ed and polite sympathy for Aunt
Jenkins’ rheumatism expressed.
Mrs. Lester found the bracelet ex-
ceedingly in her way, and impa¬
tiently unclasping it flung it on the
table.
11 was the first time the diamonds
had ever been treated with such
contempt.
Just as Mrs. Lester had turned
the page a ring at the bell startled
her. She felt instinctively that the
Atwoods had arrived, wound up her
letter with regrets that “fear of de¬
taining Aunt and Uncle Trotters
prevented her writing at length/'
folded it, sealed it, crossed the room
for an envelope and returned to
write the address, all with as much
speed as was consistent with gentil¬
ity, and finally had the pleasure of
receiving a parting salute from the
Trotters in the hall.
In a moment more Mrs. Lester
rolled back the sliding doors and
welcomed her fashionable guests.
There was no vulgar sociability,
no warming up. Everything was
cold and formal. In due season the
waiter brought in wine and cake,
and the party nibbled and sipped a
little. Mrs. Lester played a waltz;
the rest said, “Charming.” Mrs.
Atwood sang; her friends remark¬
ed, “Lovely, indeed.”
Then Mrs. Atwood “really must
go,” and the Lesters “must be sure and
to spend an evening with us,”
adieus were said and the guests de¬
parted, and Mrs. Lester oame to the
fire yawning behind her handker¬
chief. As she lifted her arm Mr.
Lester uttered an ejaculation.
“Where is vour bracelet, Augus¬
ta ?”
“Mv bracelet? Oh, how stupid 1
am!” cried Mrs. Lester. “I took it
off to write to that tiresome Aunt
Jenkins and left it on the table in
the back parlor.”
And she arose to find it. In a
moment she called out:
“George, the bracelet’s gone!”
The gentleman came to her aid.
They searched the floor, the whole
room, both rooms, all in vain. The
bracelet was gone.
“It has been stolen,” said Mrs.
Lester.
“One of the servants must have
it,” said Mr. lister.
Mr. Lester rang the bell.
“Sam, send all the servants here
and come yourself.”
In five minutes the kitchen cabi¬
net appeared, looking as though a
storm were brewing.
Mr. Lester arose to address them.
“1 have something very serious to
say/’ he said._ “I address everybody
but cooKT ' "Took uaT tTtft rrzzti. ut»
stairs and cannot be suspected,
bracelet has been lost,” said Mr.
Lester, clearing his throat; “a dia¬
mond bracelet. All of you have
been in the back parlor, where it
was left upon a table, and all of
you are consequently implicated.”
At this a tumult equal to that of
Donnybrook fair arose.
“None of us touched your brace¬
let,” and fists were shaken and lan¬
guage not to be recorded was used,
in the midst of the tumult Mr. Les¬
ter opened the window.
Some one in brass buttons was
passing, and he called:
“Policeman, step here a minute,
if you please,” and the next moment
admitted the official designated.
Rage and tears were now min-
gied. and amid the partial lull Mr.
Lester explained.
make a charge against all
Certainly,” said Mr. Lester.
No other mortal could possibly
be rP ect ^; sa * d t | ie
1 hen 1 11 proceed to business,
said the policeman. “My comrade
is outside. Get your bonnets, young
women, and don’t make a fuss, be-
cause, you see, it’s no use.”
Bridget shrieked, Ann tore her
hair, Sally sat down upon the floor,
Sam roared and cook wept aloud
from sympathy, and at that junc¬
ture came a ring at the bell.
The policeman opened the door,
and in rushed Uncle and Aunt Trot-
ters out of breath.
“We’ve run the hull way,” gasped
Uncle Timothy. “Openin’ my valise
for to find my specs, 1 took out a lot
o things, and 1 must ’a’ put this
back among ’em. If I hadn’t been
a relation, I’d ’a’ died.”
And out upon the table came
from the depths of the yellow va-
lise Mrs. Lester’s diamond bracelet.
The Trotters stayed all night and
at 9 o’clock descended to the kitch-
en to find Mr. Lester blowing fran-
Really at the fire and Mrs. Lester
staring ruefully at the coffeepot and
trying to make themselves useful in
getting breakfast, The help was
gone!
ay *
enr 1 y j? friends, • j the candidate v j , for -
alderman said, smiting the desk be-
iore him with his closed hand, “we
hear a great deal about purifying
wai po l ics these days. there
am t no man alive that believes in
that sort of thmg more n Ido. I’m
willing fellow citizens, to do every-
thing that one man can do to purify
the politics of this ward.”
Then he took a drink of water as
he waited for the applause.
“Why don’t you move out of the
ward, then ?” squeaked a voice in
the back part of the hall.—Chicago
Tribune.
Killed by Imagination.
There have been several well au-
thenticated eases where death has
beea caused by sheer fright. An
English military surgeon named
Francis told of one ease, that of a
drummer in India, across whose
legs a harmless lizard crawled while
he was half asleep. He was sure
that a cobra had bitten him, and it
was toe much for his nerves, and he
TbU •igntUtu-e Is on «verv box of the genuine
Laxatfve Tablets
kho renaady that » cold in «a« da-
Homeless.
No one, man or woman, wants to
have a home nowadays. People who
could have every domestic comfort if
thev chose prefer to flit from one
hotel to another. The custom of
dining, lunching and even having
tea in restaurants is on the in-
crease. If the women shirk domes-
ticity, so do the men. We are rap-
idly developing into a homeless na-
tion.—English Exchange.
Rain and sweat v .\\ \ \ v \
bar* bo effect on
baraes# treated
wiiA Eureka Har¬
ness Oil. It re¬
sists the damp, i \ \
keeps the leath- § I mss
er soft and pli- Jj
able. Stitches
do not break. > \
and haruess No face rough cut. to not chafe The sur- Jm A i \\ W\\ \ Y \
N
sew, out . \
wears long twice by the L&k | , Ip !
as
of Eureka r
use .
H Oil. !
) y
\
Seld ( i
ever y he re \ T
in cant— /< /J
all sisca.
If ide by \ \ A
SUndard Oil \ \
ComfMiiy
k ■jd Sam S
but *ou can’t
trink.
\ make him ea*
Y u can stuff food ip.-
man’s stomach bu
• n't make him use it.
Emulsion can make
c it. How ? By mak-
4 * i I course.
*
1 >l,s HniuI./oTi makes ct LI * 11.
. >,!vhunsrvalloVcr. Thought
, 1 body huii-
- Gun \gis natunruiy
ry didn’t you? Well it isn’t.
v thm asleep—not
•’> diking—g'one on a strike.
it doesn't try to use it's food.
. Emulsion . , . .
^>cott s wakes it
ip—puts it to work again
,v ; ] c j n(T ne - v That’s the
, . r ,
(> c- LC a *
St ml for free sample.
t/i'T x )\vx • (It. M >; t 40., iYarl St., N. Y.
coc and $ i .. ail druy; ;ists.
THE BERMUDA ISLANDS.
They Occupy For England a Slngu*
!ar!y Commanding Position.
Imperial England knows what
-he is about. Those islands (the
Bermudas), besides being used as a
garrison for her troops and a safe,
landlocked harbor for her warships,
are a link in the chain that connects
her American provinces in Canada
and Nova Scotia with her posscs-
ions in the West Indies. The Ber-
mudas occupy for her politically and
commercially a singularly cornmand-
ing and an unrivaled position, says
a correspondent of the New York
Mail and Express,
Spain parted with Cuba because
she was forced to, and she sold to
the American nation the Philippine
Islands for a mess of pottage. Dcn-
mark, following suit, for a few mil-
]j on kroner made over to us her
vfest India possessions. Catch Eng-
lund parlillg with the Bermudas!
She would I10 niore let thorn 0 than
fdie would give up her great strong- Mal-
holds In the Mediterranean sea,
ta and the iuv iwcible, unyielding fj
rock of t!ibraltar . No power WJ
3Ter wrest them from her—not one
foot of ground—until she has lost
every ship and her last drop of
blood. No; instead of parting with
any of her colonies her policy is to
increase them.
Nor will England permit emigra¬
tion to or an increase in the popula¬
tion of her garrison towns at Bermu¬
da, Gibraltar and Malta. With some
}'-«autionary measures she , will al- _
J ,V. V ! 61 p llsears allJ tourists to enter
G,bra,tar > but Grangers may not
sftttl ®. tbere permanently, nor may
“ n a ‘i en ow ? a io d of ground in
the Bermudas. She wants only
British subjects in these places, and
? ve! \ Bntlsh T , . . . sub . J . e ^ 3 aI "; not al . -
? wwi t0 vo e 1,1 B ® rmuda lmless ,
they own real estate there.
Royal Simplicity.
Household fetiches among the
Bonaparte? are the book and the lit-
tie li lt of Napoleon, that monarch
Who worked harder than any dozen
ij.^n ill llis eni])ire
In Prussia they preserve piously
the breeches of gray leather which
wer ? w ° rn the Margrave Fred-
I° im{ lcr of the Hohen-
, rn dynasty. 1 hey preserve with
reverence the cane which
Frederick the Great carried m his
/y 1 .tles, that same r-arm he had in
ms hand when .he died m his arm¬
chair, refusing with characteristic
force and obstinacy to die in his
bed.
The Russian court still guards as
if they were saintly relics the car¬
penter’s tools which were once used
by Peter the Great.
And finally the court of Vienna
keeps in its most sacred treasure
house the horseshoe which was cast
by the steed of Count Rudolph, the
founder of the Gaps burg dynasty,
at that epoch making moment when
he met the envoys who had come to
announce to him his elevation to
the throne of the holy Roman em¬
pire.
The Ls~t Report.
He visited a noted specialist and
afier waiting ail hour had an oppor-
ttmity to pay a fee and narrate his
personal misery of in>omnia. The
medical man listened and suggested
one remedy after a not iter, with each
and every one of which the visitor
Said Ee~Tia(T unsuecessTuITy experi¬
mented. Finally the specialist wrote
\x prescription and banded it to his
patient.
* What is it Y* inquired the latter.
V Oh, a bromide/’ said the doctor.
“It will benefit you.”
“Rats!” said the other, degenerat¬
ing into slang. “Tried’em all. They
ain’t no good/’ further receding into
bad grammar.
The doctor, evidently annoyed,
bowed and, handing the man back
his fee, destroyed the prescription
and said, “There’s only one thing
!eft—you had better try Bleeping
cars.”—New York Times.
Couldn’t Hide His Joy.
It was a holiday. A man walked
into the business office of a well
known New York newspaper and
I landed the clerk at the counter a
loath notice. Of course that in it¬
self was nothing strange, but his
manner was merry and inconsistent¬
ly m>. The clerk looking at him
rather strangely, he vouchsafed this
remark, accompanied with a re-
resounding slap on the shoulder:
‘Why, my bov, that was my mother-
iU-IuW.”
When the joyous one left the of¬
fice, he left the clerk in deep
thought, wondering if that was the
way mothers-in-law affected all men.
—New York Tribune.
Wlshing and Doing.
There is a tale of a man who 6pent
his life in wishing he had lived dif¬
ferently, and when he died he was
surrounded by a throng of spectral
shapes, each one exactly like the
other, who on his asking what they
were replied, “We are all the differ¬
ent lives you might have led.”—-
Edith Wharton, “The Valley of De¬
cision.”
Milk Frauds In Athens.
An ingenious method of milk adul¬
teration is practiced in Athens. The
residents have a penchant for goats’
milk, and herds of these animals are
led along, the street bv milk sellers
wearing long blouses with capacious
sleeves. Their cry of “Gala, gala!”
brings the housewife to the door,
«nd she prudently demands that the
goats shall be milked in her pres¬
ence. This is done, but the milk¬
man has in one hand the end of a
thin tube which runs up his sleeve
end connects with an india rubber
leceptacle full of water, which is
carried under his ample blouse. At
each pressure of the fingers on the
udder there is a corresponding com¬
pression of the water sack, and milk
and water flow side by side into the
milkpail.—Journal des Debats.
“Three” In Mythology.
In mythology we find the three (3)
occupying even a more honorable
place than the so called “mythical
number 7.” There were the three
graces, Cerberus with his three
beads, Neptune holding his three
fined fork, to say nothing of the nine
muses, which are made up of three
t lirees, and the third wave, which
was thought to bring death and de-
f-truction to everything in its path.
In nature we have morning, noon
and night; fish, flesh and fowl. Hun¬
dreds of trees, vines and grasses
have their leaves and blades set in
groups of three.
Thousands Harve Kidney Trouble
and Don't Know it.
How To Find Out.
Fill a bottle or common glass with your
water and let it stand twenty-four hours; a
f f sediment or set-
rV _ _ tling indicates an
fcjk—^ unhealthy tion of the condi- kid-
' ' if neys; if it stains
your linen it is
/ evidence of kid-
ney trouble; too
frequent desire to
iv pass it or pain in
the back is also
convincing proof that the kidneys and blad¬
der are out of order.
What to Bo.
There is comfort in the knowledge so
often expressed, that Dr. Kilmer’s Swamp-
Root, the great kidney remedy fulfills every
wish in curing rheumatism, pain in the
back, kidneys, liver, bladder and every part
of the urinary passage. It corrects inability
to hold water and scalding pain in passing
it, or bad effects following use of liquor,
wine or beer, and overcomes that unpleasant
necessity of being compelled to go often
during the day, and to get up many times
during the night. The mild and the extra¬
ordinary effect of Swamp-Root is soon
realized. It stands the highest for its won-
derful cures of the most distressing cases.
If you need a medicine you should have the
best. Sold by druggists in 50c. and$l. sizes.
You may have a sample bottle of this
wonderful discovery
and a book that tells
more about it, both sent
absolutely free by mail.
Address Dr. Kilmer & Home of Swamp-Root.
Co., Binghamton, N. Y. When writing men¬
tion reading this generous offer in this paper.
Job Work!