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SOUTHERN BANKER: APRIL 30, 1878.
The Phonograph.
AN EVKSIXG WITH THK MACHINE
IN A WESTERN HOME.
[Burlington Hawkuyr]
It happened that Mrs. Barstinglow
was going down to Keokuk lor a few
days, and Mr. Barstinglow was incon
solable. At one time he protested
that she shonld not go; he could not
endure the lonesome house during
her absence. Atid then again, he
declared that if she must go, h«?
would neglect his office, and let his
, business go to the bow wows, and lie
would go with her. At length, how
ever, she persuaded him to be rea
sonable, and on her repeated assur
ance that she would not remain away
longer than three days, he consented
to let her go. He even bought her
ticket, and ordered the carriage and
paid for it two days ahead, lest his
resolution should give way and he
shonld forbid her going from him.
And from that time till the morning
of her departure Mr Barstinglow
spoke in subdued tones, and moved
about with the air of a man whose
heart was buried under mountains of
grief.
Before she left the house, Mr. Bar
stinglow set the. phonograph in the
sitting room, behind the ciock. Then
she kissed her disconsolate husband,
and begged him to preserve his pre
cious life for her sake while she was
away, and then she was gone.
Every day, during her three days
visit in the Gate City, she received a
letter from her mourning husband,
begging her to come back, and telling
ber how lonesome he was without
her, and how like a grave the empty
house seemed, and iiow the hours
dragged over his aching heart with
leaden feet. And in three days she
came homo, and tilled the solemn
house with sunlight and laughter
again.
The evening after her return to
Burlington, she took down the pho-
, nograph.
“ I wonder,” she said, “ what we
. said last in its hearing? It must
; have been something while we were
. discussing iny visit. Or may be it
( has caught some of your poor, longing
moaning* while I was gone.”
And then she turned the crank.
“No,” croaked the phonograph,in
..ones, of hearty reassurance, “no
. .danger of that; she’s safe in Keokuk
,Jor three days; saw her safely oil,
myself this morning. Light your
. cigar while I light another lump and
mgke the room look cheerful.”
“ 1'or mercy’s sake, Mulachi Bar-
slinglmv,” she shrieked, “ what does
this mean ?”
Mr. Barstinglow now looked as
though he really did wish she had
never gone to Keokuk.
“ It’s just as I tell you,’’ he said,
with an effort to look unconcerned
that was life a humorous book, a
colossal success, so far as its utter
failure was concerned. “ Somebody
lias been talking all sorts of non
sense into it ju«t for talks sake. How
else could it get bold of such dreadful
st uff in our dear little lionv*, lovey ?”
Mrs. Barstinglow didn’t say, but
she turned away and the phonograph
asked carolessly.
“ Throw round for the deal
She thought she would faint, but
she didn’t, and the pitiless machine
proceeded to remark, with a variety
of voices:
“ It's my age.’’ You’ll have to
straddle that blind if you come in.”
“ Give me two cards.’’ “ Chip one.’’
“ I’ll see your little one and rai«e you
a couple.” “ Push tlie bottle this
way, Ben.’’ “ Ain’t yon going to stay
in, Harry ?” “ Can’t stay in on a pair
of sixes.” “Call you.” “ Two small
pair, kings to head.” “Tens and
deuces. Take the pot.” “ Barsty,
get us something to eat. Old girl
left the cupboard keys, didn’t she ?”
“ Yes ; told her I was going to keep
back, at home, to save expenses and
keep out of bad company.’’ “ Ha,
ha, ha! ! Ho! ho ! ho 1!’’
“ Oh!” yelled Mr. Barstinglow,
unable to contain himself any longer,
while his wife, more dead than alive,
leaned over the phonograph and
ground away at the crank, in a dazed
kind, of way. “ Oh, keep it up!
Thai’s right ! Keep her agoing !
Grind it all cut! Confound the dia
bolical piece of black art and the vile
assassin that invented it. Keep it up!
That’s right! Believe a senseless
diabolical piece of monstrou.se me
chanism rather than yonr husband.
Keep her agoing! Keep it up 1’’
And Mrs. Barstinglow did keep it
up. She kept it up and listened to
that phonograph swear and shout and
howl; she heard it shriek. “ Oh 1 my
eye, my eye!’’ She heard it tell
some one to let some one else “ have
it :>g tin ill the same placeshe heard
it warn somebody to “ hold his head
over the stove health, and not let his
nose bleed on the carpet,” and at last,
as it assured her very thickly and with
some difficulty, that it was “ a ban’ of
jolly goof ful-fuf-fellows,” and that it
| “ won’ (hie) won’ g” ome till morn-
“ \\ by,” exclaimed Mrs. Bursting- fin",” she ground it into silence, and
low, in a countenance of amazement, i sank back, speechless and breathless,
what on earth is it, saying?” while .Mr. Barstinglow took tin- pho~
“Oh, some nonsense some of your ! nograph out into the back yard and
-visitors l:a\’e talked into it sometime | smashed it into so nianv and such
.other,’/ replied her husband, nervous -small fragments that it couldn’t re-
Jv ; “ people talk all kind- of sttilf in j produce even a steamboat whistle,
to phonograph, you know. They say | And now, when people go over to
! the Barstinglows tor spend a pleasant
evening, and happen to say, “ What
have yon done with the phonograph,
Mr. Barstinglow?’’ It affords the
visitors entertainment for the rest of
the evening to study the different
expressions which creep over the
faces of Mr. and Mrs. Barstinglow,
while Mr. Barstinglow, ns he answers
the question, thinks he would give
ten thousand dollars if he could find
out how the members of the Para*
graphers’ Association tell lies so easily
and make them sound so marvellously
like the truth.
TT!T» ATST
DISSOLVED BONE,
The highest grade
ACID PHOSPHATE
r
Offered in any Fertilizer, therefore, the best and
cheapest for Compost.
Ktiwan Crop Food,
A concentrated combination of Potash, and
very high grade Soluble Phosphate, (put up in
barrels, 850 lbs. each.)
Nine years* use satisfies me that Etiwan Dis
solved Bone is decidedly superior to, and will
go further than, any other Fertilizer. Used
alone, or composted with Cotton Seed or Staole
Manure, furnishes the cheapest ahti best Fer
tilizer for Cotton.
Bone produces and ripens Fruit, will remain
in the toil, if not cropped out, on account of
drouth, andfee available in succeeding crops.
Bone is the only material a planter can afford
to purchase, and is indispensable.
EDWARD BANCROFT, Ageut,
Barry’s Corner, Broad St., Athens, Ga.
feb5-3m.
Horses and Mules.
Will be here by the 5th of January, with two
car leads of horses, and remain for the season
at Gann A Reaves’ stable.
dec25-tf. W.S. HOLMAN.
FOR SALE OR RENT.
A DWELLING WITH EIGHT GOOD
rooms, fire place in eaeli of tire rooms, good
double brick kitchen, stable carriage and out
houses. Location on Hancock avenue, near
Lucy Cobb Institute. [J. II. HUGGINS,
06-tf No. 7 Broad street. _
For Sale.
A second-hand Wheeler & Wilson Sewing
Machine; 1ms been but little used and is in per
fect order. For sale cheap for ensb. Apply at
*cg2SMf THIS OhFlCE
^ COCHRAN,
ATTORNEY £JT Z.AW,
Gainesville, Ga.
/Real Estate and General Laud Agent fofthe
purchase and sale of Mineral and Fanning
Lands in Hall, and the other conntiesof North-
oast Georgia. Mineral ores tested and titles to
property investigated. Special attention given
totuo purchase and sale of city property.
may-2—6m J. N. DORSEY. Attorney.
|£ SCHAEFER, ' ^
COTTOXT BTT’STER,
Tocoa City, Gu. C'j.
Highest cash price paid for cotton. Agent
or Winsliip’s Gins mid Press. oc20-lfi75-tf
J^IVERV AND SALE STABLE.
Carriages, Ituggles «3k horses
tor hire. Terms reasonable.
E. M. WHITEHEAD,
Washington, Wilkes cdtTnty, Ga.
rv26-1875-t<
LIVERY, FEED MID S1LE..SU61E,
GSeoxguu '? -•
GANN & REAVES, PROPRIETORS.
Will be found at their old stand, r^ar Frank
lin House building, Thomas street. Keep al
ways on hand good Turnouts and ca.etul dri
vers. Stock well cared for when en'rusted;to
our care. Stock on 1:v-1 for sale a* all Ciiiea.
deelStf.
• I
:my lb in", for talk.”
ill's.,.Barstinglow, looking milv half
convinced, geve tin* crank another
Umsc.
“ Tbis.^is.geod whisky, Barsty,’’
ejaculated the.-iaachiiic, very earnest
ly. Yqu don’t get it in Burlington
do you ?”
Mr*. iBarfitingletv gave a little
shriek.
“ My .dear;’’ „s;jid her husband,
locking fiow.quite,,os* worried as he
had looked wher»Jie i»vas begging her
not to go to ’Keokuk, “ put it away ;
somebody has had.it ojit in the stable,
and it might e»y .somethin" perfectly
shocking, you know. (Put it away.”
But Mrs. BsistingJow.iEpon whom
the spirit of investigation; descen
ded with great power, ground away,
and the Phonograph, ,jjj a voice,
marvellously like her husband’4, went
remorselessly on.
“Not much; they don’t-makeithis
kind now. It’s some old Mononga-
hela, copper distilled, that Mrs. Bar*
ntiiiglow’s mother gave her for modi '
cinal purposes thiee years ago. Fill 1
up, there’s plenty of it, and J can
replace it with any kind of beverage
when it's gone. The old girl wont
know the difference.”
Mrs. Barstinglow felt herself turn*
ing to stone, but flip next turn of the
crank brought out an nproarous—
“ Ila, ha, ha! Here’s to the o. g.’’
That fanned her p!.»yel$ into a
flame,
Great Jerusalem! Gen. Grant has
re.'ched the Holy Land, antThas been
received in the City of Sion with open
arms. Our consul at Jerusalem
writes the Department of State an
account, of the reception of General
Grant, laying stress on the many offi
cial attentions shown to the distin*
gnished visitor by th** foreign consu
lar body and the naiv- authorities,
lie was met at Kaloiirah, five miles
from Jerusalem, by the dragoons and
guards of the several consulates of
the Greek patriarch of the Pasha of
Palestine, and by a company of'Riv
alry, and was welcomed to tlie city
with military honors. The Pasha’s
military hand of music was in atten
dance upou hi;n daily, niid during the
tiny* of his stay he received every
Hfark of consideration from the Pasha,
the local consuls and the dignitaries
of the (JrfcJf find Armenian churches.
3-A.3VT HARHIc_
Boot and Slaoe-MaJsex.
ATHENS, GEORGIA, - ''
(Ovkb Jacobs «fe Miciiaki.’s Stork.)
Firt-t class work turned out ou short notice,
ht liberal -rices. Give ire 1 call and get -eo '
material n‘u-1 tine work. marelil8-ti
”87 7. - ’>,.
I The Quarterly Reviews
i ,VN!>
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' The Leonard Scott Publishing Co..
II RAIU LAY ST.. NEW YORK.
j Continue their authorized Reprints of the
FOUR LEADING QUARTERLY REVIEWS.
EoiNnrRr.it Review (Whig)
London Qcartkrly Rev«ew (Conservative,),
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BLACKWOOD'S EDINBURGH MAGAZINE.
The British Quarterlies give to the reader
well-digested information upon the great events
in contemporaneous history, and contain master
ly criticisms on all that is fresh and valuable in
literature, as well aa a summary of the triumphs
of science and art. The wan likely to convulse
all Europe will form topics for discussion, that
will be treated with n thoroughness and ability
nowhere else to be lonnd. Blackwood’s
Magazine is famous for stories, esaays, and
sketches of the highest literary merit.
TERMS (Including Poatage)i
I’ataiile Strictly in Advance.
For any one Review $4 QO
For uny two Reviews 7 00
For any three Reviews 10 00
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For Blackwood’s Magazine 4 OC
For Blackwood a ml one Review 7 on
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For Blackwood and the tour Reviews 15 0o
CHAELES F. STUBBS,
(Successor to Groover, Stubbs & Co.,)
eeTTQN FACTOR
—AND—
Genera/ Commission Merchant,
AGENT; FOR THE
Quitman Factory Tania,
94 BAY STREET,
Savannah, Georgia.
Bagging, Tie*. Rope and other supplies Air
mailed. Also, liberal cash advances made on
consignments for sale or shipment to Liverpool
or Northern ports. r ■
Mr. A. A. WInn, Cashier and Correspondent
of the late firm of Gro^fer, Stubbs & Co., has
an interest in the business. augSl-tf.
J OB WORK OF EVERY |DE-
acription done at this office '
T
r» j-iito >
>.!- v : • 1 i v •* it -
ft ' 1 ; •
•t . tf t»>*>«o , i I i:>:r 1 1 ei.ni •
STOVE
DEPOT.
ATHENS, GEORGIA.
w. a.
SUl'EUJNlENDENT.
IjnnbtJn
Excellenza Cotton Fertilizer
JLJSTD
DOBBS’ CHEMICALS
-FOR—
rmr
The undersigned has just had manufactured to bis own order a large and
fresh supply of the well known
* *-’V j if. j. # .jv i . *.. i - •
Excellenza Guano andDofcbsChemicalsforComposting
which he offers to planters of Northeast Georgia and surrounding country, at the same price aa last year
«Biit Douno tor tottoD on Dasisof middling rayao
These Fertilizers have been inspected by authority of the State and found to be up to former stand
ard and above. All persons desiring to purchase in Athens, will call on the undersigned at his store.
They can also be obtained from the following agents.
S. M. SHANKLE,*. Harmony Grove, Ga.
BOON & ALEXANDER, Maysvillo. Ga.
McWHORTER A YOUNG, Antioch, Ga.
P. H. BOWERS,. ... Franklin Springs, Ga.
W. A. ROYSTON “ « Ga.
M. M. JOHNSON, Bowersville, Hart county, Ga.
A. R. ELLIOTT, Grove, Elbert county, Ga.
R. H. KENNEBREW, Lexington, Ga.
S. C. DOBBS, Athens,
jan223u>.
GUANO1 GUANO!
HOUSE, BETTS & BO.,
NO 6s BROAD STREET, ATHENS, GEORGIA,
GENERAL AGENTS FOR
Carolina Fertilizer
.♦ I! ,
Eagle ‘Ammoniated Bone Phosphate-
AND
Eagle Compound Acid Phosphate.
The above Fertilfcers are offered to the plainer* of Northeast Georgia with the arsuranee tlial
their commercial Talue fa equal to any in the warki-t. 'J liourands of Karmen, in Carolina, Georgia,
and Alabama are ready to atteat their value, and we beiv no hesitancy in recommending them to our
friend* and customers.
Prices as Low as other Slahdurd Fertilizers.
jan83m. v HOUSE, BETTS & CO.
and Tinware
PLANTERS’ HOTEL,
ATJGrTJSTAi GEORGIA.
! 3XTE5“W jSL R.A OEMENT.
■
Hates B.educed to $3 per Day.
| HAVING LEASED THIS WELL KNOWN HOTEL, I enter
I upou its.management by Reducing Rates, and asking ol the Travel-
i ing Public, especially my friends of Carolina and Georgia, a continu
I ‘ .
j am*e of that liberal support they have always given it.
B.
FORMERLY OF CHARLESTON, TROPRIETOK.
jai)2ii 5ui
Wando Fertilizer
AND
Wando Acid Phosphate,
MADE BY
Wands Phosphate Company
OF
CHARLESTON, SOUTH CAROLINA
Our Fertilizer and Acid Phosphate rank among the highest grades in
the market. Sold for
Middling Cotton at 15 cents per pound,
STANDARD GUARANTEED.
Send for Circulars with Analyses and Terms. For sale by
J. H. HUGGINS, Athens, Ga.
feb.12.2m *
ecottse
Atlanta, Georgia,.
The proprietor of the MARKAM HOUSE takes this method oi
informing the traveling public, that notwithstanding the great Euro
pean war, his hotel will continue to entertain with its usual hospitali
ties and first-class accommodations, such ns he flatters himself has
given great popularity and success to his house, and general satisfac
tion to those who have honored him bv becoming his guests. Board
reasonable and accommodations first-class.
3=2.