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Ube progress
Publshed Every Thursday.
H D SMITH, Editor and Publisher
Kn ter oil at tho I’oatiffficH in Vionm
Ok., M *econri-cU in:.it matlor.
When • man with one wife marries
another In haste he la apt to repent it
the ponHenllitrf.
It pallid a umn to port with a car
buncle, though lie may not esteem Itas
his tileml.
Inevitable.
Oh. when the war o’er, you bet,
N" oilhn who vi lory wear*.
Tile hnrily nwnlmi alphabet
Will bo up fm repairs.
It Touched Him. |
Mother (reading letter)—John Bays he
taunt have $100 to buy him a football
outfit
Father—I kucsb that uniat be the
touchdown you read about.
Cheap Pleasure.
To alt and dream and Idly aoheme
Will never pay the rent
But what of that? Ton'll take on fat
And will not upend a cent.
Couldn't Pay the Charges.
"Ho la a poet with n Message for the
world.”
"He would better aend the message
collect If he expects the world aver to
gat It”
An Easy Mark.
"Ho loat his money on the board of
trade.”
"And did no ono find It and return it
to hint”
"No, but the man who got It said It
was like finding it"
They All Do It.
Soon Johnny will go swimming
In some deep, shaded pool.
And tell his anxious mamma
That ha waa kept at school.
Fruits ol Their Privation.
"Think of the hardships of the Revo
lutionary soidiera who went barefoot
at Yorktown.”
“Yes, think of It But they did not
know they ware saving the country for
the shoe trust”
The touch of green In hie wife’s
Barter bonnet looks wonderfully like t ,
greenback shade to the averago inau.
As long ns you can count your uiu
you enn't count your friends.
All busy day signs fall wh?--
ask the average man out to
drink.
Naturally.
His shoes warn stolen by a tramp,
111 mnolllnx. full of rum,
An.' latar, when ho found the scamp,
Hla shoes were on ths hum.
However, Washington WaS "both too j
modest and too truthful to say himself !
that he never told a lie.
A man goes into wedlock with his
et tu open, but a few weolts of It may
cuusc them to open even wider.
It takes two to play at the gome of
love, but three con make It much moro
Interesting.
A lawyer would not think of charg
ing for trying n case of champagne.
Overeating kills more men than over
work, but tho former Is tho pleasanter
death.
’ A shallow man should take a tumble
to hltmeif and (Hfe.
Naturally most of tho trusts are
formed at the seaboard, whero the
supply of water Is unlimited.
Don’t kick a man wben bo's going
downhill unless you are certain that
he has no gun.
When you cast your bread on the
waters, If It doesn’t return to yon go
fishing.
There Is no patriotism In a mort
gage; it works full time on all legal
holidays.
The man who can write passes never
lacks for friends.
AUo Several Thing*.
You find on talking to the man
It Isn’t such a joke,
Because tho one who also ran
You learn le also broke.
The man who loves work is certainly Don’t try to get rich quiok; in
hard up for something to love. (^ don > t try t0 get rioh at aU<
In those lslan h in the Pacific where . Riohea do not bring happiness,
a man uiay live for $2 a year the seen-1 llaua (i» the reverse. A competence
ery must be very .on. -king. j that makes him independent should
DM . or eve-- hear of «ny one getting | satisfy any reasonable man; but
licked by the .-.m who wants to gc
outside and fight?
No matter liow iry a country Its
tracks may rim through, railroad stock
Is njways well watered.
Did Nonh succeed In listing nil of the
microbes, or did some of them get their
boat ride without buying a ticket?
If a candidate’s barrel is large enough
ho may hold whatever opinions hs
wnnts to on the various political ques
tions.
As soon as a girl gets too big to play
With dolls It la time for the hearts in
the neighborhood to' begin to throw up
fortifications.
Sausage Is something that must al
ways be taken on faith.
Perhaps It was all right to train up
a child In the way he should go In the
days when children wonld stand for
training.
Aa the Japa
nese go barefoot
ed In winter, our
shoo manufactur
ers would bardly
call them civilis
ed.
Needs a Bodyguard.
She—It Is not good for man to be
A Wider Range.
“My eye la so true that I can nearly
always hit what I aim at"
"That Is nothing, t can hit things
that I never eron atm at"
don’t worry lest yon be unable to
ieaveeaehof your children a fortune. •
To inherit a fortune is a calamity to
any child. Give them a fair j
education, teach them to work, help '
to start them modestly, if you can.
and let them shift for themselves.
~ !
18,000 MILES FOR $26.
The Atlantic <fc Birmingham rail
way has placed on sale at its prino
pal Tioket Offices 1,000 Mile Tiofc&e
at rate $26.0o, good over the folio ic
ing lines:
Atlanta 4i Kirmingbani Air Lius &
Atlanta, Knoxville & Northern By
Atiiwta & Wnst Point B, It;
Atlwitic A Birmingham By,
Atlantic Coast Line R. R*
i.'harlcBton & Western Carolii a Ry.
Georgia Railroad. ,
Louisville dr Nashville It. R. >•'.
N ashvlilc, OlmUanoogn & St. Louii Ry.
! SEASHORE EXCURSION
The first Seashore excursion of j
the season will be run on Monday,:
May 0th, to Brunswick. St Sine
and Cnmberlaun via the Atlantic v j
Birmingham Railway. i
A speoial train of first ola»s
coaches will leave Vienna at 1. 51
A. M. and will arrive at Brunswick
at 6:00 P.M.
The round trip fare from Vieu na
to Brunswick for this train will be
$2*50. Tickets will bo good ret urn
ing on any regular train either
Tuesday or Wednesday,’ May 10th
and lltb.
Separate ooaohes will be provided
for white and colored passengers.
There is no time more delightful
at the Seashore than the month of
May.
; Kii-hmuii.i. Kn derirlisliurg dr Potomac K K
1 Hcal-srd Air T.inu K A v
-Wsihliigtun ScjqtUera "...
Wastern , C ..A tlantic R. R.
Waste r, UniLviir ol A! Jwma.
These Lines cominre 18,Of
M ps of Railroads
TVs ticket presenth ibe eluant--
iihd most con ■ .'incut form' of nave
H. O. MoFADOEN,
General Pa«sei*<jer A gent.
Perhaps the person who first suggest-
TO PLANTERS. ON 1 HE UV"
AnaiitioA Birmingham Oailmtv
To encourage the growing of wa
ter melons in territory tributary to
the Atlanlio and Birmingham Rail
way. I hereby offer the foliowing
prizes for tho three largest melons
grown in suoh territory:
Largest water melon $16,00
| (Second largest watermelon 10.00
Third largest water melon 6.0C
CONDITIONS.
Prizes will bo paid to the grower
only.
Not more than one prize will be
He—I should say not wlun there la
a holdup man on each corner.
PERT PARAGRAPHS,
When a boy is named Roy it la at«
time that he Is too small to Htik those
who hand him such a cognomen.
TO TEAOPERS.
A Key to Examinations. It con
tains the Questions and Answers of
ed that the boy is father to the man every Public School Examination in
noticed 'the shameless rnnnner in which Georgia since 1888.
children boss their parents around. txt n .. w«wn«Hi»i uiutu, nave nnaer oui-
_ work. We will Bend ltpostnrid. on : . .
, . _ , rl 9 , ti vat it m n vo acres or more of mat-
.Substance that Is needed to keep the receipt of One Dollar. Deeriptivo mel
pot boiling at home should never be circulars free. B. S. IIOLDEX . .
used to keep the jack pot sizzling. Cashier Gilmer County Bank, ELLl- j !*'**' | ra P ?,te
What an Impartial man the critic Is JAV, Ga. M '
when he tears to pieces the production ' I lp, " n ‘ wuere-i in emu,ess muBt
of your rlvall _ TUB McKEELJtnrl.le Co... Oc> ! oJ^^^lTlTv''^ *
Some men who doubt everything else dcfe.'i GaTjTfoi •prices and ‘dcHign3~jr ' " ' ’’ V 9 ’ <N '*
they hear belloveevery word they read Monumental work -r 1 ’
la the sporting extra. W i
n , paid to anv one grower.
• ixtcon years Contestants must havo under oul-
McF/ii. DEN,
If you are on a
Rural Free Delivery
Mail Route
UNCLE SAM SAYS
That you must have a
BOX
That is approved by!, the Postmaster General. If you
get your mail on the R. F. D., We have for sale one of
O 'gp'k /*"V
on the [market; latest approved by the Postmaster
The Racket Store.
J. J. COOPER,
' ‘ mmm