Newspaper Page Text
[) olidW
ilj lo oon?
,11 turnln
Rrooif -of 'GrtHkaa.
■ "Do you think Ham volt Is a great ]
ractort"
‘•He certainly Is. He disobeys the
•orders of.hla press agent right along.”
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
^jhlng mentioned tor the presidency '
uand drawing the salary are, alas, two
-^ulto different propositions.
Did you ever notice that a stingy
:Rmn thinks a cob pipe tostcs sweeter
•than any other kind!
What a snap Noah had when he bo-
•came an old settler and people began
.talking about a wet summer!
.It does not require any practice to
4ie a millionaire. Money is all that Is
Accessary.
The thing a cat can’t understand Is
Why It rains boots nnd shoes and other
bric-a-brac on such beautiful moon
light nights.
Children sometimes ask embarrass
ing questions, but that's not the chll-
•dren’s fault
'Save your soap wrappers and get a
husband.
Anyway, winter cannot be accused
of four flushing.
it requires a clever man to bore a
t&x inch hole in a two Inch board.
Some people are so cheerful that the
teakettle sings whenever they are
about
Some troubles are More troublesome
than others; your own, for example.
Never lose your temper ovrt of doors;
homebody might step on it nnd that
would make you mad.
DIFFERENT.
fo be a ctflm philosopher
When life is smoothly gilding,
When not a care floats on the aif#
And trouble Is In hiding.
Is not a task to try a saint
Or bathe a man In glory,
•But when your woes come thick as crows
Then it's a different story.
It's easy to be wise and sweet
And live alone by reason
When you have wealth and bounding
health
And everything in season.
But let your money fly like chaff
Blown through the clover huller,
Vou'll And, pertorco, that It'S a horse
Ot quits a different color.
'"Don't Worry as you Jog through Hie.”
What rule could be more simple?
But lightly hum when troubles come,
Let smiles your glad face dimple.
But when the landlord booBts the rent,
Bo that another dollar
Tteu have to cough, the smile comes off,
And then you raise a holler.
To be a cold philosopher
When there Is nothing doing
And you've no kick is not n trick.
But when It comes to wooing,
And sopic one takes your swoothcart out
To gjvc the girl an airing,
Tour rules profound full to the ground,
And you resort to sweating.
THE SPRING POET,
When old winter from the landscape
Has removed his coat of paint.
And no grumbler at his going
Haa a murmur of complaint,
The,; a sudden Inspiration
TakeS cotoesslon of the bard.
And ho fn a p^oet fr* *««y
Grinds out versos by the yard.
With the passing of ths winter
And the coming of tho spring,.
Then the gentleman .of versed
Simply has to rise and sing.
He could no more be prevented
Forth from pouring out his soul
Than the coal man could he hindered
When he boosts ths price ..f coal.
Qtacr.ua wink and limping sonnets,
Quito unsteady on their teat,
From his nimble pen come rushing
At a rapid fever heat.
Night and day he grinds out versea
From hta teeming, throbbing brain.
As a farmer boy grinds Bausage
When the porkers have been slain.
Then ha takea them to the printer,
Who Is waiting for his prey
vyith wastobankat large nnd ample,
Whore such things aro stowed away.
And for weeks he buys tho papers,
Till they litter up his room.
That Is why the circulation
In the spring enjoys a boom.
THEY" ARE MONEY-MAKERS,
Try a petting of our Peerless
Brown Leghorn eggs. They are bred
with especial care to greatest egg
production. Would advise order
ing at once as early hatched chicks
aro the most vigorous. Choice eggs,
per sitting of 15, |1.25 f. o. b. Pas
cal. A Idress
MISS FLORA MORRIS,
Peerless Dairy Farm, Paschal
Ga.
Finally Succeeded.
."Our friend dunks stutters ~bouio-
what."
“I should say so. His wife says that
he proposed to her on the Installment
plan. It took him three nights.”
HU Former Trial.
"Is this tho first time you were ovor
caught in the meshes of the law?”
asked the judge of the prisoner at tho
bar.
"No, your honor," replied the cul
prit "I was married once.”
Base Bawl ,
When In the night with
accents wild
The husky youngster
. calls, |
The father snatches up
ths ohlld
And takes his base on
balls. I
In expansive.
When the cat is awny she will prob
ably come home in a day or two bring
ing kittens.
Wheu a man Is in n tight plnco it
sometimes makes him a little crooked.
—
Tho only thing about his wife's dress
that a man la interested In. is Use price
of it
Equaled the Ancients.
"Is that painting one of the old j
I masters?"
\ "No, It Is one of the young mistress’. I
I Hho Cftn paint «s badly as any of the ;
old; -ihnstet'B that over lived."
1 The TooU.
? To bo an , orltl °.,
1 . .One quote*’ tar B "?
Procure a sled*-.'' £i\alde
And check your £ ” ontsiae.
Burned It Slowly,
“Old Flint has money to buffi/* <
"Well, I wish he wouldn’t burn if up >
In such a cheap grade of clgnrs if he |
Is going to rldo down In the car with .
me every morning.” j
’’Drink to me only with thlno eyes,"
Ha whlspared tenderly.
The girl replied, "If that's your sirs,
You're much too cheap for me.”
Explained.
"Strange that Jenks never tells you
the smart sayings of his children like
other roon."
“Not strange at all; Thoy are stop,
children.”
Force Helps.
With moral suasion ns your plan
T .et every point bo won.
'uki we pay the holdup man
But w*. it have a gun?
Did he P-
er_.
Hog Oh-lvra Remedy for sale by
Jas Williams, Route 4, Vienna Ga.
Send $1 for formula and family
right. It is guaranteed. Beet
used in this eounty sinoe June with
perfect satisfaction. Can give
eference.
CITY BARBER SHOP.
Wnen in the oity please call at
the city Barbor shop, got a hair cut,
shave, shampoo and face massagr,
clean towels, sharp rators and polite
attention a specialty..
VC PAT L I. RUB An mn
mix
BBSURT
. ji 61 h mull v,
.Tll'.illlW Oil PlOW
ISl/fl OlU II
. oil obtKi'ioJ wo
.gtiUullw v.'
ARDNER HOU8E
H. N. CARPNfcR, Propritor
RATE $1 DAY,
First class table. Rooms nicely
furnished. Porter at all trains-
You. patxonaged solicited.
Montezuma, Ga.
WANTED-FAITHFUL PERSON
to call on retail trade and agents for manu
facturing house having woll-ostablUbed
business; local territory; straight salary
*20 paid weekly and oxpense money ad
vanced; previous experience unnecessary
position permanent; business successful’
Enoloso selt-addressed envelope. Bunsrin
tendont Travelers, 606 Hoiton Building
Chicago,
ouio8
yio«i at
•IBOl
The FRANKLIN Typewriter,
A Staneard Machine, $75.
Write to E. F. BUMPUS, Washington, D.C.
®©VAW®StM
ittffe if $«*€« fragile ia til Sit 4M*S1b» feragit ty
tipiitmi tatytN its lit aitl •
tilts tl pittt Isi itttb tfi tHk
The Dress Good
the choicest pro-
ductoin. Gentlemen will’*
iind my clothing to be of
the best that can be made
Shoes! Shoes!
My Shoe line is complete
and excels in quality and
in quantity.
Hats and Caps.
For evory one at unusu
ally low prices.
Stoves and Ranges
A solid car load of ranges,
cooking and heating
stoves of the most cele
brated makes to be fftund
on the market, and every
one guaranteed to do good
service. Jjp
Need a Trunk?]
Call on us for the best se
lection. Suitable for ail.
Agricultural
implements, wagons and
buggies at lowest prices.
Sewing Machines
Why pay the profit to a
wagon salesman when
you can get a better one
for half the money here?
Furniture.
fly furniture is ii reach
all, as the prices will con
vince you at a glance.
Sash, Doors,
Blinds, Nails and building
material generally.
Hardware Stock
Is the most complete In
this sec tit i e,
and is selling at prices
that defy competition.
Underwear and
Hosiery that will meet
your approval in prices as
well as quality.
. .i - ■ •
Crockery, Glass*
ware and house furnish
ing for all, and at prices
to suit the times.
For Courteous and polite Treatment and Honest Deal ings, Cal on
pt* - g 22 ■' ■ " —
9. *, B»VAI«SE, Montazuma, Ga.